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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

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Jim South Jr Has Mucho Rage

He blogs:

Tijuana is apparently So. California Body: So I am listening to the radio driving. K-ROQ so naturally a commericial is on. Starts out "Hey LA, Venice, and Anaheim. Hello to ALL of Southern California. Hello Valencia, San Diego, and Tijuana. (keeps naming other cities). If you hear this and are in any of those Souther California locations, you owe it to yourself to visit Fletcher Jones Mercedes (or some s---)." WTF is that? Did I miss something? I wasn't aware California police departement car-jacked people so they could have a nicer police car, or work with clubs to threaten to arrest someone because they didn't want to pay for 10 tequilla shots when vodka was ordered, or blatenly ask for bribes when they are f---ing with you. This s--- needs to stop! If it is California, I wouldn't have to sit in f---ing line to say the words "US citizen" when I wanted to leave that hell hole and have to explain where I live.

If It Takes Holly Randall Going To Jail To Clean Up This Industry, I'm Willing To Make That Sacrifice

I call my friend Levi. He's never met Holly and frankly I want to keep it that way, even if it means sending Holly to jail on a bum rap and enforcing her celibacy with the power of my pen.

Luke: "God gave you a mind to study Torah and you use it to play video games."

Levi: "God lost his investment.

"I'm just a little boy in a big scary world."

Luke: "What's the connection between Israelis and duplication and replication?"

Levi: "It's a cash cow. Jews love money. Except for you, but you're a converso. That gives it away more than the accent. Your hovel. If Holly wanted a real Jew, get somebody with a bank account."

Luke: "I told Holly that if she couldn't be happy with me, I'd want her to end up with you."

Levi: "Thank you. When I meet her, I will tell her, Luke once IM'd me and asked, 'Have you ever had intercourse with Holly Randall?' I said, 'I've never met Holly Randall.' 'Good, let's keep it that way.'

"I only know her through your site.

"Your real story is why we used to use really big trays for VHS tapes. To make things look bigger on the shelves. It was ironic when the only big DVD cases you bought were Disney and porn.

"Why are you hung up on DVD replication?"

Luke: "It's just part of my general search for meaning, truth and justice. Why are we here? Is there no higher purpose?"

Levi: "You just want to put us all in jail. You hate porn but you have this internal conflict because there are certain porners you consider token friends."

Luke: "If Holly going to jail is what it takes to clean up this industry, I'm willing to sign off."

Levi: "In a world without repercussions or moral implications, if you were in a room with guns and everybody in the porn industry tied up, I don't think you'd kill everybody."

Luke: "I'd be selective. I'd be just and merciful."

Levi: "How would you feel if you put everyone in porn in jail?"

Luke: "I'd feel good. I'd walk around with a big woody."

Levi: "Did you get laid more when you were written about a lot?"

Luke: "Yeah."

But that's not what truly matters in life.

Levi: "Shiksas often? People not in porn."

Luke: "Yeah. I had this woman email me after the True Hollywood Story on Linda Lovelace. She said I had nice eyes."

Levi: "You do have very nice eyes."

Luke: "Thank you. You've never said that to me before."

Levi: "Did you have relations with Jamie Lynn or Cassia Riley?"

Luke: "No."

Levi: "Do you ever raise your hand to Holly?"

Luke: "No. She likes it much rougher than I can give it to her."

My years in this business have taught me that you need to be good at sensing what the other person is about at that time. It's no good asking. You have to be able to tell what a woman wants. She should not have to spell things out for you like she has to with me. I want more for you, dear reader.

Lyra N-ccarato's Impending Release

She writes:

Dear Family & Friends,

First, let me say that words could not express the gratitude that I have for everyone who has been there for me since I got into this mess. Every letter, going away party, magaine, etc. has helped me more than you could ever imagine! and as for a good majority of my friends that just arn't the writing type, don't worry I know there's a world outside myself. Sometimes I find it hard to believe but there is. I'm actually really greatful for this experience and can't wait to come home and see everyone.

Now, for my "damsel in distress" plea! I'm not an asker but I'm trying to learn to ask when i need help. So, jere it is....if anyone has something small they could contribute to help me get my car up and running again and back on my feet it would be GREATLY appreciated! A little bit goes a long way when you dont have much, so, even 5 dollars would help at this point. I get out in the first week of July and will be staying in a hal-way house for a month or two. My car has been sitting for a year and needs insurance, a smog, registration, etc. I will have to give 25% of my earnings to the half-way house while i stay there, so, like i said anything would help. If its not in the budget then, please don't stress. Either way, I will see you all very soon!!

The easiest way i could figure this out is for anybody that is able to help to make a check out directly to me or my mother, we have a joing bank account so she is able to deposit whatever is sent to her. I can live off what i make in here until i leave. Thanks everyone... :) Much Love Lyra N-ccarato

Three of Lyra's friends add: If you would like to send a check of any denomination to lyra please email adriana at garcia157@gmail.com. I spoke with Lyra yesterday and this morning she is great and cant wait to see all of her friends.

Devon Advertised On Front Page Of Bellamodels.com

She's been escorting (somewhat) under the radar for years.

I am sure that BellaModels.com did something very nice for Devon and this is her way of showing her appreciation.

Penthouse Pet and porn superstar Devon needs little introduction. You'd have to have lived under a rock over the past several years to not be familiar with her angelic face and sinful curves. A former Vivid Video and Digital Playground contract star, Devon has appeared numerous times on the Howard Stern Show, Playboy TV and most recently in a memorable episode of HBO's Entourage as a member of 'Pussy Patrol' alongside her good friends Teagan Presley and Jesse Jane. Don't miss your chance to meet this rising star exclusively through Bella Models!

Never forget that porn is one big happy family and we are all here for each other.

For the past week, Devon was calling around the sex industry madly looking for money. She claimed her boyfriend was in jail and she needed to bail him out. She sounded speedy. She needed cash. Now.

Mary Carey's Tips For Media Stardom

I call her at noon Wednesday.

Mary: "I had major drama Friday night. I got really drunk because the store was giving me alcohol. I had a fight with Harold. Whenever I get drunk, a fight will happen. I don't know why. Maybe I become irrational?"

Holly was a sweet drunk.

Mary: "Do you know common law? How long do you have to live with someone before you are considered married? Someone was telling me about palimony. That if someone lives with you long enough, they can try to take money from you when you break up.

"I'd get so lonely living by myself that I'd end up with different random guys.

"When Harold came back to the room Friday night [in Minnesota], he got mad at me because I was on the phone drunk with some random guy. I called one guy I knew and told him that we had to hurt Harold."

She laughs. "He poured wine on my face at the store signing. I think it was because I was pouring wine on him first.

"Stores think I'm being so much fun when I'm drunk, but there's a point where the fun stops and craziness takes over.

"Harold can tell the point where I'm about to go crazy and he'll say, 'Don't let her drink any more.' But there are other people around who say, 'Let her drink. She's so much fun.' They don't understand the level of craziness that will occur.

"I haven't talked to Joanna [Angel] since Friday. I only behave badly when drunk to people I know really well. It was so embarrassing waking up Saturday and seeing the store people from the night before.

"I don't think I did anything mean to Joanna. I can't remember. She's very calm and not crazy.

"Tawny [Roberts] and I would have huge fights because we knew each other really well.

"Tawny seems together. She's living in New York with some guy [they've been together a couple of months, he's some rich guy]. She had her car shipped to New York and got New York plates. She had all her stuff moved out of the [lawyer Marvin's] house here. [They were starting a production company together.] She keeps inviting me to New York to stay with her.

"She really did go to Africa and Australia [with her new man]. The only thing she could tell me about Australia was that she saw kangaroos everywhere and she stayed at the Versacci Hotel.

"Sometimes Tawny sounds like she's crazy but there's underlying purpose to what she's saying.

"When she said she was going to Africa, that sounded nuts to me but she knew she had a trip planned to Africa.

"I guess the production company she was starting with Marvin fell through. I know they weren't paying Devon and Devon was mad.

"Many people think that anyone can start a production company but you have to produce a lot of titles and have good distribution. I don't think he knew anything.

"People think that one porno sells 100,000 copies when it only sells a couple of thousand. Outsiders think I must be so rich. 'Oh, then somebody is rich off of you.' No, nobody is rich off of me. It's putting out a million titles that makes them rich not me.

"Jenna Jameson does so many things that make her money. It's not just the movies.

"Tawny's boyfriend probably thought that Tawny was like Jenna and she could have her own production company and put out movies and make money.

"My first boy-girl movie, Mary Carey Rules, sold over 8,000 units according to Mark Kulkis. Legend doesn't tell me how many copies of my movies sell. I don't get a cut.

"The publicity that Legend does is just what I generate for myself. They don't do big ads and billboards. But Legend's got great distribution. They put out 15 titles a month."

Kick Ass Pictures put out nine Mary Carey movies. "They've got one more that they shot in 2004 that they haven't put out yet. Mark told me he's holding on to it for me when I do something big, like my own reality show.

"I've done so much stuff for exposure, I need to start seeing monetary benefits.

"I want to go to another Bush dinner in a couple of weeks but they don't want to pay for it. They don't want to support Republicans, which I understand, but I think me going is making a mockery of Republicans. It shows how Republicans will just take the money. They'll put down porn but they'll let me come to a dinner just because I'm donating money."

Luke: "I watched your clip on Keith Olbermann."

Mary: "I was laughing so much because Keith had called me a couple of times. It was kinda awkward."

Luke: "Did you have phone sex with him?"

Mary: "No. Keith's not that dirty."

Luke: "What have you learned about the media from all your exposure?"

Mary: "The media likes porn stars because porn makes people tune in to their show. If they say porn star coming up, someone flipping channels, someone who might not normally watch a news show, might watch. It just shows America's fascination with porn.

"I'm supposed to tape a pilot for a radio show and I was talking to the producer about porn sets. People find it fascinating. 'Oh, are there fluffers?' No, that's a misconception. 'You must be so tired of sex. You're doing it all the time.' I do it six times a year on camera so I'm totally not sick of it.

"I find it intriguing to hear girl's stories of them going in and out of the industry.

"Yesterday I watched a news show about overseas Russian girls being traded to Turkish people as sex slaves.

"I watched this cool movie called Whore, starring Denise Richards."

Luke: "I wonder if you are so good at media because you have nothing to hide?"

Mary: "Yeah. That's what makes me entertaining. When I was on Mancow, he said they'd had other porn stars on but they don't talk.

"I always get this: 'Mary, why do you call Luke and tell him everything?' I don't have anything to hide. Of course people will have judgments but everybody has little things that they don't want people to know. I just tell everything. If I have to fart, I fart on TV.

"On TV interviews, I'm asked if I want my questions ahead of time. No, no, no. Throw them at me. I love not knowing what's coming. I hate when people have planned-out answers.

"If you are going to be a pop star who appeals to children between 12-15, you need a publicist to control your answers. You can't say you're getting drunk and doing drugs. You have to keep your answers to appeal to the kids.

"Once I went to a mainstream party. There was a porn person there. She said, 'There aren't any [porn] industry people here. It's all mainstream people. I'm going to leave.' I feel comfortable with mainstream Hollywood, though when I went alone to the Emmy Awards, I felt really out of place. I felt really strange. Afterwards, Jimmy Fallon had a party in his hotel room. Jessica Simpson was there. Kirsten Dunst. I felt really out of place. I know that many mainstream girls look down upon adult film stars. That we can't act. That's a stigma I didn't know was attached to the adult industry. I thought people thought porn stars were cool and glamorous. The only porn stars I saw when I was 18 was Jenna Jameson and Kendra Jade on Howard Stern. I'd be watching with my boyfriend and I'd say, 'I want to be like those girls.' I saw Houston perform at a club in Florida. The club was packed. The crowd was screaming for her. I thought, 'Wow, I want to be like that.'

"Harold's coming into the hair salon. He's trying to catch me on the phone with people.

"Harold wishes I'd hide some things. He wishes I didn't have such a big mouth.

"I've always had a big mouth and talked a lot. In highschool, I had nothing to hide. I was really bad at keeping secrets. If I buy someone a present, I can't keep their present secret. Whenever I find out any good news about someone, I can't wait to tell them."

Luke: "What advice would you give to porn people before they talk to the media?"

Mary: "Always be honest with the media. I don't say I graduated college. I did three years. I have a year left [to get her Theater degree]. If I drink, I admit it. If you are going to be an adult film star on a news show, you should bring entertainment. They can always count on me not to be boring. That's how Nicole Richie became so popular. She doesn't hold back. Paris Hilton is the same way.

"I don't think I would work as a quiet demure person."

Mary asks me to ask Holly if she likes my laugh and if she finds life boring without alcohol:

Holly replies:

Yes I like your laugh-- and though yes it's hard to go to events where everyone is drinking and I'm not, it's really nice to actually remember what I did the night before. When you get so drunk you black out, I don't consider that fun. I just do different things -- like having small dinner parties as opposed to going to a bar.

Suze

I got Suze Randall's autobiography (ghost-written by her husband Humphry Knipe) today. It cost me $13 plus $3 shipping.

Holly responds: "Oh great. You know I haven't read that book for a reason."

I've been trying to get a hold of this book for free from Holly (since I met her last October) and Humphry (since I met him Dec 31).

Vivid Girl Lux Kassidy Shoots Her First Movie

Lux Kassidy Lux Kassidy Lux Lux Lux Lux Lux Shylar Shylar Shylar eats a breakfast burrito (not safe photo) Shylar eats Shylar Shylar Shylar Shylar Shylar eats Missy Monroe Missy Monroe Missy Monroe Missy Monroe Missy Monroe Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Missy smokes Lux Kassidy Lux Lux Lux, Christian Lux, Christian Lux, Christian Lux, Christian Lux Lux Kassidy Lux Lux Lux Lux, Christian Lux, Christian Lux Lux Lux Kassidy Lux Lux Lux Kassidy Lux Kassidy Lux Christian, Lux Christian, Lux Lux Kassidy Lux Lux Lux Lux Kassidy Lux Lux Lux Lux Lux Kassidy Lux Lux Lux Lux Lux Kassidy Lux Kassidy Gram Cracker Gram from South Africa Chloe Diore Chloe, Gram Chloe Chloe

Holly Randall shot stills of Lux two weeks ago. "She was really nice and had a good sense of humor. She was personable. If I liked girls, I'd have a crush on her."

I go on set with Vivid Tuesday at Lux's invitation and run into my old pal Shylar. I remember when he was Reb Sawitz's assistant at Pretty Girl International. A long-haired stoner, Shylar would tear up over Little House on the Prairie reruns. For the past eight years, he's been working as a production manager and producer for Vivid.

He has a six year old boy who helps him with the boxcovers -- just kidding! His blonde British wife Catherine, a slender former Vivid PA who got him his job, now stays home and looks after the house, child and Shylar's insatiable urges.

I arrive at 10:15 a.m. to the Iny estate in Encino. I believe the house was bought for shooting porn and that (David?) Iny owned another porn shooting house for the past five years.

The place is gorgeous, up in the hills, with a sweeping view of the Valley. Yet nobody lives here. It's tranquil beauty is wrecked on a regular basis by pornographers who pay about $1,500 a day for the privilege of taking what is innocent and whoring it out.

I look at the trees and the flowers, let my eyes rest on the waterfall, hear the singing of the birds, feel the beating of my heart, and in the depths of my soul, I cry for what I could've been.

I ask Shylar what happened to him. His hair is cut short. Is he still with Catherine?

"It was our 12-year anniversary last Sunday. I have a kid that's six. I just followed the paycheck and it took me corporate. I couldn't kick that stoner image with the hair."

Luke: "Do you have to pee in a bottle every month for Vivid?"

Shylar: "Absolutely not. Vivid is not that corporate. It's still a version of the wild west. We're more corporate than Metro and less corporate that Hustler. It's a comfortable middle for me."

Luke: "Catherine was a PA for Vivid."

Shylar: "Until I got her pregnant."

Luke: "Was that part of the plan?"

Shylar: "Yes. I married a hot chick so I could get into the business. Ten years ago, it was so wild west. And now it's a factory. Even the gonzo porn is factory."

Shylar explains the movie's story: "The director Anderson Pop (portrayed by director B. Skow's assistant Gram Crackers) is a drunk. Nobody can find him because he's drinking. So we just use the behind-the-scenes footage to cut a movie, so every scene is an over-acted stereotypical sex scene. We shoot the pizza delivery guy. We shoot the 'My boyfriend just broke up with me,' girl-girl."

He explains his "Zen of porn production. You just go with the punches. Why worry about it? It ain't going to change. You can't get mad at talent and hold grudges. There aren't enough of them. You're going to have to go with it."

A crew member: "Shylar is a friend of all."

Shylar: "I cater to the crew rather than the talent."

I check out the crafts service. It's a Vivid set so things are lavish. Lots of chocolates and granola bars.

The only thing we're short on is women. There aren't any until Lux finally arrives at 10:35 a.m. and reinforces our shaky heterosexual inclinations.

Like men locked at sea, we were beginning to question our most deeply held beliefs.

I see my friend Jace Rocker who gives me a weary smile and wave and says that he can't dislike me personally.

How slow he's been to forgive my fleeting but tawdry 2001 affair with his ex-wife Britt Morgan.

I learn from that exchange that Jace and women are not things and their feelings are not to be trifled with.

Oh, but such wild ecstasy it was to have Britt visit the hovel, share a few minutes on my internet radio show, and then off together to a glorious dinner at a kosher restaurant climaxed by a hug goodbye.

"I deliver divine karma," I tell Jace.

"That's supposed to be a negative thing," he notes.

"I just give people what they deserve," I reply. "I'm God's servant. Would you disagree with that?"

He laughs.

A guy says: "He's cocked and ready to go."

Jace: "There are people who get on buses and strap themselves with bombs and kill people in the name of God."

"Do you think I strap on bombs and go to porn sets and blow people up metaphorically?"

Jace laughs. "Yes. Most of the folks in this business are just trying to make a living."

Yeah, and so are drug dealers.

Luke: "I thought you were an artist. I thought you accepted a higher calling. You had the soul of an artist until you sold it."

Jace moves away from me, laughing. "I'm smart enough to know what he's doing," he tells the crew.

That Jace Rocker can be a real downer for my hard-hitting exposes.

I tell him, "The truth will set you free."

A crew guy: "So will a bullet."

John, the 20yo PA, won't shake hands. He's germphobic. He keeps washing his hands throughout the day.

Shylar raves about Kurt Lockwood's performance last night (day one of the two-day seven sex-scene shoot) as the pizza delivery guy. "He'd done a thousand scenes in four years and never been a pizza delivery guy. We really cheesed it up."

Director B. Skow torches the nacho cheese chips while waiting for Lux to get out of make-up.

Skylar fills out pages of paperwork, including an entry for the director's vision for the boxcover: "A close-up beauty shot of Lux."

Marketing purpose: "Lux's first Vivid title. Shot on HD."

B. Skow: "No condoms."

Shylar produces the Monique Alexander movie Cherry Bomb starting May 24.

Shylar: "Porno - bad acting, bad food, no money, no time."

Shylar says his wife demands that he be monogamous. He did take a distinct fancy to the naturally busty Sarah Stone yesterday.

From an overheard whispered exchange between Jace and the videographer, I gather that I wrote something horrible and inaccurate about the videographer about eight months ago.

When I offer to correct mistakes, the guy says he'd prefer me to never write about him again.

But how can I do that if I don't even know his name or social security number?

The director's (B. Skow) opening shot reminds me of Robert Altman's in The Player.

A videographer plays a camera guy shooting an oiled Christian in tight trunks. "You're a Greek Adonis!" yells the photog as Lux drives up and walks in the house, followed by the director.

After the shot, I ask Christian if the photographer brought out his inner beauty.

"Absolutely," says Christian. "I'm hoping it'll lead to something more."

Christian says that every time he works for B. Skow, the director makes him wear something stupid.

"Is it some kind of homo-erotic thing on the director's part?" I ask.

"That's it exactly," drawls Christian.

Lee Garland, the flaming make-up artist and versatile actor, tells the director that Lux is tearing in one eye.

"You hit her, didn't you Lee?" challenges a crew member.

"How many minutes of double anal?" Missy asks the director.

In porn 15 years, B. Skow has mainly made boxcovers for Vivid. He's directed six movies, all in the past year.

Missy Monroe drives up. She has a new tattoo on her shoulder. She used to be skinny with B-cupped breasts but now she's curvy with D-cup breasts. She's a feature dancer, just back from a club in Pennsylvania.

A month ago, she moved her father in with her.

"I flew him out on 4/20," she grins.

They smoke pot together. "It's hard for a pot-smoker to get a job," she says. So her dad is now her assistant and roadie. He collects the money from the fans as they line up in the strip club to get polaroids with Missy.

She's encouraged several strippers from the club to fly out to Los Angeles and become porn stars.

One stripper she met at the club is deaf and dumb. She carries a note pad with her around the club to interact with customers.

"What percentage of your customers ejaculate during a lap dance?" I ask.

"None, if I can help it," she says. "You stop making money if they ejaculate. Only stupid girls allow a guy to come because then they make no money."

She says at the Crazy Horse club in San Francisco the strippers carry condoms around with them when they prowl for customers.

One customer in Pennsylvania last weekend paid $300 for 30-minutes of private dancing. The stockbroker was so drunk he fell asleep after five minutes.

The previous night, he spent $900 on her.

Missy says she's never done a private.

Missy's dad hasn't been laid since he arrived in Los Angeles. "He wants a hardbelly. Jim Lane offered him a scene with Kat. She was game but he didn't want any guys around. He's not ready."

"He walks my dog and does my dishes and and cleans my house and does all the stuff he made me do when I was a kid," she says with a giggle.

"How long since you lived with him?" I ask.

"Since I was 14. It's cool to have my dad around. I didn't have much of that when I was a kid."

"Who's idea was it for him to move in?"

"I gave him a roundtrip ticket for ten days and then I wouldn't let him leave."

Luke: "How does he feel about porn?"

Missy: "He's learning about it from behind the scenes. He's never bought a porn video or a porn magazine. He's different from the guys who come to conventions and try to feel your butt and your breasts and your crotch. When guys do that, I punch them (three times that's happened)."

In porn for three years, Missy Monroe still works several days a week.

"I was told, 'It's going to slow down. You're not going to get any work. Make sure you save all your money. It's not going to be around long.' I saved my money. I'm still working every day."

Missy got pulled over and ticketed the other day for an expired registration. Then the officer gave her another ticket for an expired driver's license.

Monroe directed her first movie for Defiance Films - Big Tit Whores. It came out in January. She's frustrated that she can't find any reviews of it.

She says the wrong credits (from Taylor Rain's Spunk in the Trunk) ran on the movie. Missy's not satisfied with the lighting and she's annoyed she did not get to sit in on the editing. She wants to learn editing.

"The credits said Barry Wood did the camera. It was Chris Hall. It said Nate was my PA when it was Tory Lane. I had Cheyenne the photographer and it says I used Todd Todd. Cheyenne is like $900 a day. My boxcover was the best."

Keith O'Conner from Defiance Films responds to my inquiry:

Yes, Missy was correct regarding the incorrect credits. The first batch we had made for screeners had the incorrect credits at the end. It was corrected before it went to replication. Missy's a great girl and she took her directing of this title very seriously. Her and Tory Lane (Missy's Production Manager for this movie) controlled this production from start to finish and the end product was great. Big Tit Whores had a strong 'ship day' numbers wise, but we were most pleased with the amount of re-orders; which shows us how well received the title has been with consumers.

What I liked the most was that Missy picked up on things such as the lighting, the variances in camera angles, even scene pairings! We're also planning a joint production between Missy and Taylor Rain, as the two of them really hit it off here in the offices when Missy came in for an interview with Taylor Rain, collectively they had some great ideas for upcoming projects. We've already chosen a second title for Missy to direct for Torrid Entertainment and that will start production in June.

We've also inked Tory Lane top make her directing debut in June for Torrid Entertainment!

I overhear Shylar says to the crew: "And he's all proud about being a sex offender."

He won't elaborate when I press him.

Lux says I met her six months ago when I came to a shoot at a 6,000-square foot downtown LA studio she co-owns with her photographer boyfriend of a year.

She started nude modeling at 19. She's just turned 21. She says this is her first porn movie. She only does girls. She plans to have a long porn career.

"What made you decide to do hardcore?" I ask.

"I decided when I was walking around AVN [in January in Vegas] and seeing all the girls."

Her boyfriend shot her first nude shoot.

As I'm walking out, I spot Christian lying on a couch. Half the time I see the guy on a set he's trying to sleep.

Khunrum writes:

You know Luke, these are porn women but you never take pictures of them doing anything porn oriented, like being nude for instance. Photos of them engaging in nasty behavior would be great but pics of them without clothes would be a good start. What you give us week after week are scantily clad but nevertheless dressed vacation like photos of young women doing nothing. Sheeeeeeezzzz! We can see this type of material at the local mall. And what interest does a bearded tattooed guy eating a burrito wrap have for your readers?. You may as well take photos of regular people dining at Taco Bell. Thin gruel buddy.....very thin.

I'm sorry, buddy, that you are not spiritual enough to glimpse the higher meaning of my work.

Matt of MattsModels.com On Fox News

Matt emails:

I did an interview for Fox News LA over the weekend. They're doing a story on Free Internet Porn (again). It airs after the American Idol Finale TONIGHT (Wed) @ 10:00pm over the greater part of California. Supposedly they are using 2 of my sound bytes. I have NO IDEA how they are going to paint me.

Matt blogs:

Fox actually caught me off guard. They called and said they needed to do an interview on some free internet porn sites, but needed to do it that day and within the next couple of hours because of a deadline. I agreed, but had no time to prepare. Consequently, on a couple of occasions, I found myself with my foot in my mouth . It's actually unnerving to sit at the end of their big ass camera lens and lights and hear "roll tape!".

Then the SEASONED Fox producer starts throwing questions at you. It's pretty much like being interrogated by the Police. Considering these guys are investigative media experts, the questions definetly threw me off guard and all of a sudden I found myself staring at the "interrogator" like a deer in headlights!

I know as well as anyone that these types of news stories can paint any picture they want to. They can take your words completely out of context and edit the final version to make you look like the biggest, sleazy, stupid f--- of all time LOL.

Considering this segment is being aired on the same station as the finale of American Idol and the viewing audience is supposed to be HUGE that night, I did think about who might see me on TV. My family, my relatives, my neighbors, my friends. Maybe some people at my gym? Maybe the nice employees where I get coffee at in the morning? Maybe my nice former landlady who had no idea what I did for a living? I mean it's not a nice human interest story where I saved a dying cat from certain death in the middle of the highway (even though I did do that once).

It's "MATT who RUNS THIS PORN SITE" and is corrupting your KIDS! OH MY GOD! I wondered if it might change some peoples opinion about me? After pondering it for some time, I came to the conclusion that THIS is WHO I AM. This is who I have been for the past 10 years of my life. I have played a small part in an incredible evolution of one of the most significant technological innovations in history. It's been an AMAZING experience. "Porn" is just a word that sells advertisements.

Beyond the DVD

From XBiz.com:

If the grimy storefront in the red-light district carrying nothing but movies and stroke books is the stereotype of adult emporia from the past, the well-lighted, carpeted shop with an open floor plan is rapidly becoming the template for adult entertainment stores of the 21st century. Up front is Victoria's Secret meets the cosmetics counter at Bloomingdale's; a little deeper inside, naughty videos, toys and leather goods.

My Loss Is Porn's Gain

Over the past three months, I've developed tendonitis aka tennis elbow on my right arm (I'm right-handed) and the pain shoots up and down my arm and into the right-side of my back. I understand the only cure is rest. So I'm learning to use my mouse with my left hand. It takes me forever. I feel awkward.

So if I'm not much of a conversationalist on IM or via email, I'll trust you'll understand. I'm minimizing my time on the computer.

Whatever Happened To Hot Chloe?

She was a cute little tattooed writer chick and associate editor at AVN. She had a background in writing for fitness magazines. She was a good writer. I saw her at the LA Press Club recently.

AVN Editor Mike Ramone replies to my inquiry: "Chloe wasn’t let go; she left on her own accord to take a job outside the industry. I was sorry to see her go – she was a very good employee and a very good writer and was well-liked. She may still do some freelancing for us."

AVN Launching A New Magazine?

I found this ad on journalismjobs.com:

Company: AVN Media
Network Position: Seeking Skilled Managing Editor
Location: Chatsworth, California
Job Status: Full-time Salary: Negotiable
Ad Expires: June 26, 2006 Job ID: 640174
Description: Business-to-business publication for the intimate apparel industry seeks a creative and motivated Managing Editor to work full-time in our Chatsworth, CA office. The Managing Editor answers to the Editor and will help manage the editorial staff, set coverage priorities, develop story ideas for both the magazine and website, edit and finalize copy, acquire new freelance writers, supervise and guide reporters, and assist in the production process. The ideal candidate will have strong planning and deadline skills, managerial experience and proven track record writing and editing for periodicals and/or newspapers. Trade publication experience is preferred, and a working knowledge of the intimate apparel industry is a definite plus. We need to immediately fill this full-time position at our offices in Chatsworth, CA, so local applicants are preferred. Email cover letter and a resume attached as Word doc to tony@avn.com

Mike Albo is becoming an editor at Adult Video News and Tony Lovett, the publisher and editor of AVN Online magazine, needs a managing editor. Peter Stokes [is on his way out] as managing editor of AVN. I don't understand the stuff in the ad about the "intimate apparel industry."

Why I Write

Chaim Amalek emails: "Luke writes for the same reason men work: to make his genitals more attractive to women. In this he has been quite successful, fornicating with women he would never have had a crack at had he done something more financially rewarding but dull, like accounting or patents or secretarial work."

Who Sings About Ugly Porn Stars - 'Why Can't We Have More Like Tyler Faith?'

Sarah writes:

Have you seen this video Wankus put on YouTube? Tyler Faith sent it out on MySpace.com as a bulletin along with the coy statement,'somebody just put me in it.' You can clearly hear Wankus singing.

You know what other clues point to Wankus? Michelle Lay and Rebecca Love, his Wanker show co-hosts, are featured as 'hot porn stars'. Then Tyra Banxxx is featured as an 'ugly porn star' - Wankus and Tyler are not enamored of her, she was supposed to be in the first Team Tyler movie but flaked. Look at this story they told about Tyra being a 'slob.'

Wankus constantly talks about ugly girls being in porn. I've seen him compliment a guest with a comment that they are attractive unlike these other "ugly girls doing porn."

Look at this article on adultfyi.com where Wankus talks about Pamela Peaks and Lori Lust being on the 'nasty' porn star list

In what article does Wankus say Lori Lust and Pamela Peaks are on a nasty porn star list?

Wankus responds to my email:

No, I had nothing to do with it, but I love it and it's something I would definitely say! You better be clear on who sang that. Not me. I didn't post nothing on myspace or youtube.

I have a much better voice!

If I was Tyler, I'd brag about that video clip too. Not only does it put her and a few others in the spotlight, it speaks about a topic we've spoken about publicly for months. The quality of adult stars has gone to s--- in general and the days of real PORN STARS are unfortunately gone or on hiatus.

Good song though. I'll play it on my show Wednesday night! Good to see a lot of KSEXers in there as POSITIVE examples!"

I'd love to know who this "Sarah" chick is that supposedly knows so much about me. Obviously she's a little lost in her assumption. First...anyone that knows me knows how proud I am of being a loud mouth and attaching my name to my candor. If something is going to get hype that I was associated with...I claim it! That's first and foremost. A couple of little details that this girl may also be missing are...

1. Tyler calling Tyra a slob doesn't mean she's UGLY as that song implies. In fact, I doubt you've even heard me say she was.

2. Some of the girls viewed as positive examples in the good looking side of the industry include Digital Playground stars. When have you ever hear me speak highly of DP? When have you heard them speak highly of me? [See various Devon rants on this site and AdultFYI]

3. If someone lists a lot of KSEX girls as good examples of attractive porn stars there could be a couple of reasons for that.

First, with Tyler, Stormy, Nikki, Dee, Michelle, Rebecca and scattered others on the roster...there's a good chance that KSEX employs some of the hottest girls in porn. I'd agree with that. Second...have you ever considered the fact that while you may think we have small listenership, this could have been put together by a KSEX fan? Guess you never listened to Stern. His audience makes parodies all the time. Thanks for giving me the credit. While it's not my piece, I'll be happy to play it on my show and announce that I'm getting the credit for it since I do agree with the lyrics of the song and especially love the girl-girl scene in the middle of it.

Porn Stars On My Space

Jay Allen Sanford, former publisher of Carnal Comics, writes:

If you MySpace and you click the "friends" requests for many (probably most) of these porn stars, you will (almost instantly) be flooded with porn solicitations. And your contact info will likely be passed around to others you may or may not even be familiar with, and suddenly you'll be getting ten or twenty times as many messages a day as before but all will be porno spam. ie the porn stars are mainly using MySpace to build more of the porn spam databases that are literally ruining the internet and reducing the greatest tool in the history of mankind since the wheel to the virtual equivilent of a crack den - - - I recommend not hooking to porn star MySpace pages (unless you like getting flooded with porn spam).

Mary Carey For Governor

Nelson Ayala writes from Legend:

Chatsworth, CA - Beloved adult film star and California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey mixes porn and politics in Legend Video's new sexy satire, Mary Carey for Governor!

Inspired by Carey's current campaign for governor of California, the film captures Carey as the charismatic contender people have come to know and cheer for-the politician you won't mind getting screwed by.

"I'm the goober in gubernatorial," declares Carey proudly. "I'm a nut. I'm a nut for believing California deserves to be a progressive state. Californians deserve a governor that truly reflects their attitudes and concerns. And, ok, so Commando & Raw Deal were great movies, but Kindergarten Cop and Jingle All the Way really blow! It's time to get Schwarzenegger out of office, people."

Mary Carey for Governor, Carey's second release for Legend Video under her exclusive two year contract, highlights many of Carey's political platforms. "Gay marriage needs to be legalized," says Carey. "At first, I figured gays didn't watch my movies so the whole thing wasn't an issue. But, then I discovered lesbians are gay too! And they love my movies! But, seriously, if people love each other, who cares what hole they use to express that love?"

Carey also believes alcohol should be legalized at fully nude strip clubs. "Have you seen the crack whores dancing at those places? The only way they' re gonna make any money is if the patrons are s----faced. We have to support our single mothers, people." Carey hopes to bring a football team to California as well.

"Some of my best memories involve the football team," coos Cary. "And, maybe we can get Shaq back to the Lakers too."

Despite her political aspirations, Carey remains true to the core of her fan base-the chronic masturbators. "Politics and porn are one in the same to me," explains Carey. "Both are about understanding people's needs." It was that insight that led Carey to take a hot chunky load of semen in her mouth for the very first time on camera. "Taking my first facial in Mary Carey for Governor was very scary," recalls Carey. "But, I knew it was something my fans wanted to see."

"You gotta remember that Mary has only performed in eight boy/girl scenes, none of which included a facial" explains Cash Markman, director of Mary Carey for Governor. "It was crucial to get the pop to the face on the first take."

Markman hired industry art house Art Attack to help storyboard Mary Carey's first facial. He also called in a favor to an old acquaintance, an award winning mainstream composer, to score music for the scene. "Me shooting Mary 's first facial is like Scorsese shooting a young De Niro in Mean Streets," says Markman. "Mary's gonna have a long healthy career of guys cumming on her face, but this is where it all began."

Carey kicked off her campaign on May 15th at the Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder and is traveling across the state to acquire signatures to ensure her place on the election ballot as an independent candidate.

"I love campaigning and meeting people," says Carey. "I just did a signing at a Virgin Megastore in San Francisco that went extremely well. People are so sweet and supportive when you have blonde hair and giant boobs!"

Carey is also keeping a high profile in the media with appearances on MSNBC' s "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" and Fox News' "Your World with Neil Cavuto." Carey also co-hosted the nationally syndicated Mancow morning radio show in Chicago for four days. Carey, who received 10,000 votes during the 2003 California Recall Election and placed 10th out of 135 candidates, believes she has a strong chance for victory this year.

"We're going to make it happen this time," asserts Carey. "With the help from the media and my Legend movies, I'm reaching new people everyday."

Legend Video's public relations guru, Nelson X is optimistic as well. "If all the 18 to 35 year old males who masturbate to her movies can get their mothers to drive them to the polls this year, Mary could win by a landslide."

Danni.com Update

An anonymous source writes:

The management at Danni.com have let go a handful of their remaining longtime employees last week, including several in the production department. They intend to hire a completely new staff who haven't heard about all the s---'s gone on. See some of their recent ads: XBiz.

How Was Humphry Knipe's Triumphant New York Weekend?

Holly's dad responds:

Hi Luke,

You asked for it!

Just back from BookExpo America held at the Washington D.C. Convention Center Now I know how an ant feels on the freeway during rush hour. Thousands of beetling bodies. Millions of books. We've finally reached the point of authorial over reach. There are more books than people. No need for religion, therapy or drugs to experience that ineffable moment of transcendental insignificance. Just get a book published by a small press and go to BookExpo America. Stand patiently in line like a penitent for a few quick words into the god-like ear of a major publisher and then watch in horrid fascination as he shrinks away from you as if you were a leper when you launch into your well honed pitch for you new novel. Experience cleansing humiliation when he cuts you off in mid sentence and tells you he needs to talk to someone else. Enjoy the reality check of not being able to sit down anywhere because everywhere you go the empty chairs are in booths and clearly marked "For Conferences Only". Get used to standing.

Like almost every other social activity (see my The Dominant Man), the event is arranged on strictly hierarchical lines. At the top of the pecking order are the Corporate Publishers (also known as Real Publishers). Next in rank order are the Small Presses who prefer to call themselves Independent Publishers. Then come the Very Small Presses. And last and certainly saddest of the lot are wannabe authors so desperate to find a publisher (any publisher) that they have set up tiny booths (can you believe it?) with Xeroxed copies of their unpublished work, desperately hoping that someone connected will lose their way and stumble across them.

The Independent Publisher Award ceremony was, well, unpretentious. Most of the attendees, drinks in hand (cash bar), had their back to the floor-level mike where the presenter, a long list in one hand and a beer in the other, raced his way through the finalists in 60 categories, 450 books short listed from a reputed 5,000 entries - they actually read all those books?

Winners like me (I got Best Historical Fiction for my book The Nero Prediction) got a handshake, were handed a plaque that, somehow appropriately, looked like a tombstone. Suze tried to take a picture of my moment of glory with her mobile phone, couldn't get it to work. As for the speech I'd been agonizing over for days, none of us prize winners got to say a word. There was barely enough time to say hi, let alone thank your mother, wife, publisher and dumb luck.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking my award. In fact I want it to be widely known that I will gratefully accept any award for anything from anybody. I'm a writer, aren't I?

Danni Ashe, Where Are You?

Rob Walkan writes his OPINIONS (I can't verify that these are all facts) on JBM about Danni.com:

From the end of Feb of 2006 until the start of April the site [Danni.com] was 75% down and most of the content was missing. No updates. No information from the honcho. I just paid for a month of zero content. Everyone waited, and then the s--- hits the fan. Is that a way to run any business? I know of at least 12 people who have quit. And those are only the ones that have contacted me. I hope Danni Ashe is well, wherever she is and I am sure if she is seeing any of this, it must be really killing her.

I believe that Danni and her husband live in Montana and have been retired from porn since early 2004.

Banned in...

XBiz reports on countries that ban porn (mainly muslim and communist regimes).

Dunn & Bradstreet Reports On The Major Pornographers

Willie D writes:

L-ke, half the data on a D&B report is supplied by the company (sales, # of employees, balance sheet, income statement), and they can either refuse to disclose it to D&B outright, or they can insert whatever numbers they feel like. It is not uncommon for either to happen, though whole-cloth falsehoods are rarer.

Publicly-traded entities like PEI are different: they must submit quarterly financial statements to the SEC, and the CEO and CFO must sign certifications they are are correct and complete (www.sec.gov...find the EDGAR database).

The other half of a D&B report are payment experiences supplied by trade vendors. A company can't alter this data itself, and therefore the Paydex score is probably more accurate than the Stress rating. Generally a Paydex below 60 is unbankable--a bank would not lend you money for that reason alone.

Poor Paydex scores are a direct result of slow payables conversion which usually results from slow receivables collection, which is why I fully endorse the Jeff Mike "whiffle ball-bat" method instead of the dull "2/10 net 30" method.

How Big Is Porn?

From ABC News, Jonathan Silverstein writes Jan 19, 2006:

Industry trade magazine Adult Video News estimates that the industry reeled in about $12.6 billion in 2005 and estimates that more than $2.5 billion of that was from the Internet alone.

But are numbers like these accurate and do they mean that the industry has grown or remained a fringe business that caters to the marginal spendthrift?

For years, mainstream media have given the adult industry a $10 billion price tag, saying it is as big, if not bigger, than the Hollywood film industry. But according to many media analysts, the numbers are unsubstantiated and the adult entertainment industry is virtually untrackable — in terms of dollars spent.

"There's no reliable data available on the market," said Jan Saxton, vice president of Adams Media Research. "It's too much of a gray-area business."

Adams, which does financial analysis of the filmed entertainment and digital media markets, said the industry was too vast to cover. "It runs the spectrum from soft-core stuff in the backrooms of family video stores," she said, "to snuff films, which are totally illegal."

...The dollar amounts from Adult Video News can't be independently verified, and no one from the publication immediately responded to a request for an interview.

That comment about snuff films is nuts. Even if there are the odd snuff film, there is certainly no snuff film industry and snuff films play no role in the pornography industry (because anyone who dealt in them would be looking at a death sentence of life in prison).

My inclination is not to trust anyone who says something as nutty as apparently Jan Saxton said about snuff films.

The porn industry tends to inflate its size because that makes porn seem more powerful and respectable. Conservative critics of porn usually want to lowball the size of the industry to make it appear more marginal.

When AVN estimates U.S. DVD sales and rentals for 2005 at $4.28 billion, there is no way that that figure is an underestimate (because it would be against porn's interest to underestimate its size and AVN is the spokesman for porn).

When AVN notes that that sales and rental figure has been flat since 1997, there is no way that AVN is underestimating.

When AVN (and the U.S.'s largest porn distributor IVD) said there were almost 13,600 new releases in 2005, there is no way they are underestimating. There have been about 13,000 new porn titles released annually since 2001.

The Video Software Dealers Association (VSDA) is the trade group for American DVD/Video/software dealers. Again, their incentive is to make their industry look as powerful as possible. There's no way they are underestimating their industry's size.

VSDA estimates U.S. DVD/video sales and rentals at $24.3 billion for 2005. That's up from the VSDA's $20 billion estimate for 2000.

Tom Adams of Adams Media Research told Dan Ackman of Forbes (article published May 25, 2001) that porn, at most, accounted for 10% of total DVD/video sales and rentals. Tom Adams said his $1.8 billion estimate of aggregate porn sales and rentals for 2000 was "generous." The 10% estimate would place porn sales and rentals for U.S. DVD and video in 2005 at $2.43.

According to the VSDA, there are approximately twice as many dollars spent on sales as rentals. If this ratio holds for porn, DVD/video sales would amount to $1.6 billion in 2005.

I have not spoken to a major pornographer (or read a quote by one) that claims that VHS accounts for any more than 20% of sales. This would peg DVD porn sales in the U.S. for 2005 at approximately $1.3 billion.

Here's another way of looking at DVD sales: If there were 13,600 releases in 2005, the highest possible average (median) number of units sold per title would be 2,000 and the highest possible average (median) price would be $40 each, which would make for total DVD sales for 2005 at $1.08 billion.

However you slice it, in my opinion porn DVD sales per annum are no more than $1.3 billion in the U.S.

According to DVD Watch's April 2006 newsletter, the North American market will manufacture 3.3 billion discs in 2006. At most, 10% of these discs are porn - 333 million.

The average (median) cost of authoring, replicating, packaging and wrapping a porn DVD is $1 (with a minimum order of 2,000 units), according to my research.

“Pornography has been surging every year, in whatever form, whether it’s magazines, DVDs or anything,” Video Business magazine Editor-in-Chief Scott Hettrick told XBiz 8/11/05.

But that's nuts. Porn magazines sales have slumped since the rise of the internet in 1996. And even AVN says that porn video/DVD sales and rentals have been flat since 1997.

From the LA Times April 19, 2006: "Three years ago, DVDs were responsible for 90% of our income," said Vivid's Steven Hirsch, who founded the company in 1985 with David James. "This year, it will account for 30% of our sales. With the Internet there is no distributor between you and the consumer, so you can keep a larger part of the revenue stream."

Is that a misquote? Those figures do not make any sense. The internet must've accounted for at least a quarter of Vivid's income since 1999.

From DVDIntelligence.com Dec 18, 2005:

In the United States, sales and rentals of DVD porn movies are on the rise, and the adult-entertainment business is stepping out of the shadows with predictions revenues will reach $12.6-billion this year, according to a report this week from California-based Adult Video News.

Overall expenditure on buying and renting adult videos in the United States grew from $2.1-billion in 1993 to more than $4-billion by the end of the decade. It represents more than the total consumer spending on the overall DVD industry's fastest-growing segment, TV shows on DVD.

Although the price of porn DVDs is dropping – by 20% in the past year, to less than $50 – revenues are still predicted to reach $4.28-billion in 2005, the report says. It offers no reason for the robust sales.

In the homevideo sector, nearly 13,600 titles were released this year, with approximately 957 million rentals of adult DVDs.

The smallest percentage of the adult market belongs to mobile technology. With domestic sales of about $35 million, it comprised less than 1% of the adult marketplace. However, worldwide mobile sales amounted to $700 million in 2005 and that figure is expected to triple to $2.1 billion by 2009.

Mainstream movies still dominate the VOD market, with porn taking $800 million of a $2 billion market. However, adult content dominates the sales of in-hotel movie purchases, with 55% of those viewers choosing porn titles.

Overall, the U.S. home video and DVD industry is said to be worth US$24-billion, but it is under increasing pressure from new technology.

"The risk to our future from downloading from the Internet is real and explosive," said Crossan R. Andersen, president of the main home entertainment lobby group in the U.S., the Video Software Dealers Association, earlier this year.

Given the pressures that mainstream video is facing, it might be expected that adult movie sales and rentals would be suffering – especially due to the proliferation of pornography on the Internet. For example, Google produces about 196-million hits for "sex," which is the word most commonly-entered into search engines. (Source: National Post).