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Joanna Angel Has No Soul?

Her NYT Article

She calls me back Monday, 5/30/05, at 6:35pm. I hear a poker party in the background. Joanna's drunk.

Somebody yells out, "Do you know where's my medication?"

Duke: "What prompted you to get into the porn industry?"

She giggles. "Nothing prompted me at all. I wasn't thinking about it. It came from out of the blue.

"My college roommate asked me, 'Do you know what you're doing when you graduate?' I said, not really. He said, would you like to start a porn website with me? I said yeah.

"I had never watched porn before that. I never knew anything about porn. It was one of those things that at the time seemed like a good idea. A lot has changed in the past three years."

Duke: "What did you major in at college?"

Joanna, 24: "I went to Rutgers. I did an English major with a minor in Film studies. I almost got a minor in philosophy. I was one class away.

"I graduated with honors. I was like a smart person.

"Are you laughing at me? I'm wasted. Let's keep going. It's going to be fun."

Duke: "When you were a girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Joanna: "When I was in college, I wanted to teach creative writing to people in prison. I watched this movie called Slam (1998). It's not that good of a movie, but it's... I also went to this writing school for the summer -- Naropa Institute. There was a woman there named Hettie Jones. I really looked up to her. She was a writing teacher in prisons.

"I [later] realized that most prisons don't have creative writing teachers. I didn't know what to do with myself."

Duke: "When you were a girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Joanna: "I didn't think about what I was going to do past the next day. I guess everybody thinks about being a teacher. I don't remember much about my childhood."

She giggles.

Duke: "Why not?"

Joanna giggles: "I just don't. It's not something I think about on a regular basis."

Duke: "Was it drugs that took away your memory?"

Joanna: "No. I didn't start doing a lot of drugs until college. I don't do a lot of drugs."

Duke: "What kind of crowd did you hang out with in highschool?"

Joanna: "I didn't hang out with anybody. I didn't have any friends. I had pink hair. It was short, messy and spiky. I guess I had some friends in the punk scene. I went to shows a lot. I had this boyfriend I was hanging around with. A lot of my friends in highschool, everybody's friends in highschool were assholes. I don't talk to any of them now. We were also kind of angry. We were all angry kids who found each other. We weren't necessarily angry about the same things. We all wore lots of patches on our bags."

Duke: "What are they?"

Joanna: "When you like a band, you sew a patch of a band that you like on your bag. That's what I did when I was 16."

Duke: "Were you cute in highschool?"

Joanna: "I don't know. It's not really up to me to decide. To be honest, I don't think I was cute. I think I was ugly."

Duke: "Were there a lot of people hitting on you?"

Joanna: "No. That didn't happen until my senior year. I went away for the summer after my junior year, and when I came back I had boobs. And all the football players were hitting on me. Not in a serious way. More, 'Ohmigod, she's a freak, but she's kinda hot.'"

Duke: "How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

Joanna: "Ohmigod, you're asking me my life story. I was 18. It was a very good experience.

"I skipped a grade and got to college early [age 17]."

Duke: "How long did it take you to get your degree from Rutgers?"

Joanna: "Five years. Don't tell anyone that. I partied a lot."

Duke: "When did you get your first tattoo?"

Joanna: "The day I turned 18."

She has seven.

Duke: "Are tattoos addictive?"

Joanna: "Not really. I've done things in my life that were addictive. I don't wake up in the middle of the night sweating and say, ohmigod, I've got to get a tattoo. Getting a tattoo is like getting a new shirt or a new pair of shoes. Other girls like Louis Vutton handbags and expensive jeans. I never cared about stuff like that. I just cared about getting nice tattoos. It's not like it's dangerous. It's something you think about fairly often."

Duke: "What need does getting a tattoo fulfill?"

Joanna: "Do you not have any tattoos?"

Duke: "No."

Joanna: "You don't have any friends who have tattoos?"

Duke: "No."

Joanna: "Ohmigod. It doesn't really fulfill. I can't explain it."

Duke: "Do you want to hurt yourself and that's why you get a tattoo?"

Joanna: "No. That's not it at all. It's a design. It's an aesthetic."

Joanna and company launched Burningangel.com on April 20, 2002.

Duke: "Was that the first time you posed naked?"

Joanna: "Yes. My roommate was the one taking the pictures. I lived in a house with seven guys. We were just sitting around and I said, ok, let's go downstairs and take naked pictures of me. It didn't feel like a big deal. The pictures were extremely ugly."

Duke: "Out of those seven guys, how many had you slept with?"

Joanna: "None."

Duke: "Whoa."

Joanna: "Is that amazing? Some breakthrough in porn journalism?"

Duke: "Did you ever have sex with the guy who's your partner in the website?"

Joanna: "We had sex once when we were 19. It was a five minute thing. We don't have sex on a regular basis. We're like brother and sister. We tried it once to see what would happen but it wasn't anything we wanted to continue. We're friends."

Something's not right here. A guy always wants more sex with an attractive woman.

Joanna stands 5' tall and measures 34C-24-34.

Joanna has shot about ten sex scenes but won't sell many of them because she doesn't like them. "I don't think the guys were staying hard enough and doing a good job. People don't realize how hard it is to find good guys."

Duke: "How did your friends and family react to your website?"

Joanna: "I love my family and they love me. My mom is not that happy. She probably wishes that I would do something else. She just wants me to be happy. When she sees that I'm happy, she's happy. She doesn't look at the website. My dad thinks I started something cool. I don't talk to him extensively about the sexual things I did on camera.

"Some people in my family don't want to talk to me anymore. Some of my uncles and one of my aunts. It's caused a big debate. One of my aunts got angry at my mom for wanting to disown me. It made me and my mom and my dad closer. That they love me and accept me even though I do this makes me feel like I should be nice to them all the time. I have the most amazing family ever."

Duke: "Did you want to hurt them when you started this?"

Joanna: "Not at all.

"Is this some kind of psychological thing? Are you trying to do some kind of expose on why porn stars want to do bad things."

Duke: "I'm just a good listener."

Joanna: "I never wanted to hurt my family. Maybe some ex-boyfriends."

Duke: "Tell me about wanting to hurt ex-boyfriends."

Joanna: "I don't feel like talking about any of my ex-boyfriends right now."

Duke: "Did you get emails from any of your professors saying they saw your work on Burningangel?"

Joanna: "Yes, from three. One of them was an English professor. One was in charge of internships. They just said nice website. They tried to disguise it as some intellectual academic thing."

Duke: "Did you ever have sex with any of your professors?"

Joanna: "I did. When I was 19. With one of my English professors but he wasn't my professor and it wasn't to get a good grade. It was at Naropa. He was a teacher there. I wanted to have sex with him. It was pretty gross. He was old [30yo]. When I was 19, I was mostly having sex with guys 20-25."

Duke: "What kind of men are you attracted to?"

Joanna: "I don't know."

Duke: "Sure you do."

Joanna: "I like guys with a career and a good head on their shoulders. I have two qualifications for me to date someone -- if they got a higher SAT score than me (1580) and more tattoos than mine. That's the only way I will call someone my boyfriend."

Duke: "How many boyfriends have you had in the past eight years?"

Joanna: "Six."

Duke: "Did they all have higher SATs than you?"

Joanna: "No. I didn't make this rule until after I started doing porno."

Duke: "Do you find a lot of guys with more tattoos than you and good careers?"

Joanna: "I don't find any. I had a boyfriend two years ago and I really loved him, but he didn't want to date someone who did porno. I had to leave."

Duke: "Why didn't you just quit porno?"

Joanna: "F--- that. This is my life. This is what I do."

Duke: "You chose porno over the man that you loved."

Joanna: "I did."

Duke: "Why?"

Joanna: "Because I love porno."

Duke: "Why?"

Joanna: "Because this is what I do. This is my career. This is the company that I own."

Duke: "But why do you love it? What about it do you love?"

Joanna: "I love everything about it. I love that porno is an underground industry. I love that it is a subculture. I love that it is wrong yet everybody loves it at the same time. I love that everybody wants to ban it but they can't because it makes way too much money.

"I've been a dancer since I was 21."

Duke: "A stripper."

Joanna: "Yeah, a stripper. After I started stripping, I go, the sex industry is an amazing place. It's an underground weird seedy disgusting thing that's so powerful and amazing at the same time."

Duke: "How do you feel about growing old?"

Joanna repeats my question incredulously. "I hadn't really thought about it until now."

Duke: "What do you hate about the porn industry?"

Joanna: "I don't hate anything."

Duke: "What's it like dating people when you're a porn star?"

Joanna: "I haven't dated that many people."

Duke: "But when you have..."

Joanna: "Men in general are pretty stupid. They're not intelligent."

Duke: "How are men stupid?"

Joanna: "I don't think they understand women."

Duke: "What don't they understand?"

Joanna: "Are you really serious?"

Duke: "Yes."

Joanna: "Is this what you ask most porn stars? The differences between men and women?"

Duke: "Yes."

Joanna: "For some reason, I'm always that girl that everyone comes to for advice. I'm not in a place to give people counseling but it's what I do.

"In general, most men are really selfish. They see only one side of the story. Most women have the ability to see two sides of things."

Duke: "Do you think women are superior to men?"

Joanna: "I think I am superior to all men. I think women are superior to men but society doesn't allow them to feel that way. I think most women feel subservient to men. Women really do have all the brains and all the power."

Duke: "Which period of your life was the happiest?"

Joanna: "Right now. Also, when I was 19, my sophomore year of college. Nothing really mattered then."

Duke: "What are your goals?"

Joanna: "I want to make lots of porno. I want every single person in the world to know what BurningAngel is."

Duke: "Is their a philosophy behind BurningAngel.com?"

Joanna: "BurningAngel.com is a punk porn site. It's not punk in the aesthetic. It's punk in the attitude."

Duke: "How do you feel about illegal drugs?"

Joanna: "They can be used recreationally. Once you use anything to the point where you can't live without it, then it is dangerous.

"This world is a tough place to live in. Once you start using drugs to deal with the world, you're doing something wrong.

"I don't care about anything being illegal. I don't have that much respect for American and the government. People need to do whatever they need to do to maintain their wellbeing. If you can't live in this world sober, then that it is a problem, and you should learn how to do it, even if it is hard."

Duke: "Are you primarily attracted to men or women?"

Joanna: "Men. I dated two women. I was in love with this one woman."

Duke: "But she wanted you to stop doing porn?"

Joanna: "No. We did porn together."

Duke: "What happened to that love?"

Joanna: "I still talk to her. She does a lot of drugs. I don't want to do a lot of drugs."

Duke: "How do you feel about porn addiction? Do you think that's something real?"

Joanna: "Yeah, I think a lot of people are addicted to porn. Nobody wants to be lonely. Everybody needs attention and some sexual fantasy in their life."

Duke: "Do you feel that by working in porn, you are preying on people's addictions?"

Joanna: "No."

Duke: "Why not? There are people addicted to porn."

Joanna: "There are people who are addicted to buying clothes, alcohol. People are consumers. In America, everybody buys something. I don't feel like I am preying on an addiction. I don't think addiction to sex comes from pornography. It comes from people's natural state. People are sexual creatures and pornography capitalizes off that. I don't think [porn] creates an addiction. A heroin dealer gives out free samples so people can get addicted and he can make money. Pornography is what people think about and jerk off to."

Duke: "But aren't the free samples you put on your website like the heroin dealer who says, here, try some of this."

Joanna: "No. That's not something I'm thinking about when I'm on camera.

"Are you laughing?"

Duke: "I just liked the analogy to the heroin dealer giving out free samples. I laughed at that."

Joanna: "Ok. Why are you using it against me?"

Duke: "I didn't. It just made me laugh.

"Do you think we have an eternal soul?"

Joanna: "WHAT?"

Duke: "You studied philosophy. This is in your bailiwick."

Joanna: "Eternal soul? I never studied that in school."

Duke: "Now's a great time to start."

Joanna: "I don't think we have an eternal soul."

Duke: "After we die, that's it."

Joanna: "I think so.

"I don't think about my death very often."

Duke: "If, after we die, that's it, does that depress you?"

Joanna: "Not at all. I want to make the most out of what I do while I'm alive."

Duke: "Which books have most influenced you?"

Joanna: "Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. The Other Hollywood by Legs McNeil. Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susan. Because I'm a writer, when I read something and really like the way it is written, it was brutally honest. She told the truth. It didn't have a happy ending. There are few American classic novels that don't have a happy ending."

Duke: "Do you think it was trashy?"

Joanna: "No. I'm pretty trashy."

Duke: "You're a high-low girl."

Joanna: "What?"

Duke: "Some high culture, some low culture."

Joanna: "I've never heard that term before."

Duke: "I'm introducing you to so many things. This will be an interview you'll never forget."

Joanna: "I guess not. You're out there to try to make me look stupid. Are you like one of those Howard Stern people who tries to make girls look stupid?"

Duke: "I just want to get the best possible interview I can."

Joanna: "Ok. I hope you got one out of me."

Duke: "I did. Thanks for your time."

Joanna: "You asked me if I had an eternal soul."

Duke: "You think that's a weird question?"

Joanna: "I think that's an absurd question."

Duke: "What's absurd about it?"

Joanna: "It has nothing to do with anything."

Duke: "It's a Rorschach's test."

Joanna: "I guess I'm going to have to take a look at your website. Are you going to make me look like an asshole?"

Duke: "I treated you like a delicate flower."

Joanna giggles: "Joanna has no soul."

Duke: "That's the headline."

Joanna: "Eternally.

"I just got a manicure and I got a bow on my nails. I look like a present."

Duke: "You are a present to me."

Joanna: "I'm going to go back to my barbecue."

Duke: "You mentioned you've been drinking today."

Joanna: "Heavily. My friend was making White Russians. A big bowl and I was drinking it from the bowl. I never ever drink. This is the first time since the AVN Awards. I drank so much that I threw up in the Venetian casino all over the place. That's because I never drink. I ate a burrito for dinner. It was gross."

Duke: "Did you smoke dope or shoot any lines of heroin today?"

Joanna: "No. I don't do that. I know that you think that porn stars are f---ed up."

Duke: "What gave you that impression?"

Joanna: "Because you're an asshole."

Duke: "I'm not worthy to hold your computer keyboard because I only got 1135 on my SATs."

Joanna: "See. You could never take me on a date. Maybe I'd have a meaningless one-night stand with you but I couldn't have anything meaningful with you."

6/2/05

An Email Exchange With Joanna Angel

She writes me Thursday morning:

there is a scanned copy of the ny times article. i think the journalist for this story liked me alittle more than you.

you might like this article better, because it completely trashes me and the praise i got in the NY times

it is also a really ridiculous article, that made assumptions about me without ever talking to me. like "she doesn't even know who linda lovelace is"

i respect a journalist who insults me the intelligent way; it's integral you get to know me before you insult me.

i want to do another drunk interview. that was fun. next time you should ask way more obnoxious questions. i have faith that you can do it. maybe instead of "joanna angel has no soul" you can try something more offensive like "joanna angel has herpes."

i have a rigorous day of hurting myself and my family ahead of me. i better get started...

I reply: "The dominant reaction I got to our interview from people who know you > was -- Joanna feels she's smarter than everybody and if you challenge > that she gets very upset."

Joanna responds:

i dont think im smarter than everyone else. theres a lot of people who are smarter than me in the world. if you give me a list of people's names i can check off who i think is smarter than me. i didn't get upset about you "challenging" me- i just didn't see the point in you asking me about my childhood, and like eternal souls. It just doesn't have anything to do with me having sex on camera or BurningAngel or anything that would be even remotely relevant to "an interview with a porn star." your questions about wanting to hurt myself and my family were pretty condescending, so i was condesceding right back.

I write: "Is this true? Is that a reason why you are in porn? So you can be > smarter than everyone around you and make sure you can't mix in social > circles where people are smarter than you?"

Joanna responds:

this is like- ridiculous. no, dude. no. what the hell is wrong with your brain. the people im really close with both in this business and in general are a lot smarter than me. i've always befriended people I can learn from. The people in my life who are significantly less smarter than me in my life are usually my aquantainces , not close friends.

I write: "What was the dominant reaction you got to our interview?"

Joanna responds: "that you're an asshole."

Jack writes: "Looks like you got a live one! God, anybody who clings to their SAT score as proof as their intelligence (it's not a friggin' IQ test, stupid!) for more than 10 seconds after it gets them into the college of their choice is ... easily defined. Interesting how this "hipster girls-in-control" site is actually owned & operated by men ... how is that any different than the standard porn paradigm? It's the Williamsburg version of JKP!"

Wearing Nothing But Attitude

Rochelle Gurstein writes 5/18/05 in The New Republic about this New York Times article on alt.porn:

I learned that Joanna Angel, a founder of BurningAngel.com and star of many of its XXX-rated videos, thought of herself as a vanguard artist. The reporter, Robert Lanham, pointed out that not only had Angel ("her stage name") been an English major at Rutgers, but that she has "a year-book's worth of quotations tattooed across her 4-foot-11 frame, from Kurt Vonnegut ('So it goes') to a paraphrase of Margaret Atwood ('Touch me and you will burn')." As further proof of her vanguard credentials, she is quoted as saying such edgy things as "Porn is more punk than most punk music," and "Some people make music, others paint, I make porn."

This petite, "literature"-inspired young woman apparently has even greater ambitions than making transgressive art. She tells the reporter that "millions of dollars are being made in L.A. every year on porn" and she wants "to start an empire here." Angel even fancies herself a bit of the feminist. She "takes pride," according to Lanham, "in being a female executive in an industry dominated by men." And she takes care of her "girls," none of whom "ever feels exploited." "We treat everyone with respect, like friends," she said. "It's hard work but everyone has fun."

......

I didn't imagine that England or the better educated, alt-porn entrepreneur, Joanna Angel, both of whom are in their early twenties, had ever heard of Linda Lovelace, the star of Deep Throat, or of her best-selling memoir about her vicious exploitation by pornographers that led to her becoming a feminist cause célèbre and rallying point for Dworkin and MacKinnon's anti-pornography legislation.

Joanna Angel writes me 6/2/05:

there is a scanned copy of the ny times article. i think the journalist for this story liked me alittle more than you.

you might like this article better, because it completely trashes me and the praise i got in the NY times

7/11/05

At 7:32pm Monday, Joanna calls me back. "Somebody mentioned your name today. Funny that you called. They're like, 'Everyone really likes you except for Luke F-rd.' I said, 'I think he likes me.'

"I did a movie for Adam & Eve. Tristan Taormino directed. She's a close friend of mine. She's one of my heroes.
"She hasn't directed a movie in a long time.
"This is called House of Ass. It's like the Real World except that it's a porno. She sent everybody to this house in the desert [Idyllwild, near Palm Springs] for two days and filmed what happened.
"Mr. Marcus. Scott Nails. Justine Joli. Kaylani Lei. Sarah [Blake]. Talon. T.T. Boy's brother.
"I had sex with Justine Joli, Sarah [Blake], Scott Nails and Mr. Marcus."
Was that your first interracial scene?
Joanna: "Yes. He was the only black guy I've had sex with in my life."
What brought it on?
"I don't know. It was funny. Everybody was assigned one person and then you could ---- whoever you wanted after that. Mr. Marcus really wanted to have sex with me. He asked Tristan if he could many times. I said, 'I don't know. That's a big deal.' After a while, I was like... Me and him got along really well. It was actually fun."
We talk about Rochelle Gurstein's dismissive article in The New Republic about Joanna and alternative porn.
Joanna: "I looked up her pictures on the internet. She's extremely unattractive. That's my analysis of the situation."
Duke: "Rochelle didn't think you had heard of Linda Lovelace or Deep Throat."
Joanna: "I've heard of Linda Lovelace. I have a huge Deep Throat poster in my office over my desk."
Duke: "You should come to Porn Star Karaoke."
Joanna: "I'm not a karaoke person. If I'm going to go out, I need to go out somewhere that's not porno."
Duke: "Is there any drama in your life?"
Joanna: "There's always drama in my life. I don't know if I feel like talking about it. I'm a little angry."
Duke: "When you were stuck in the desert with all those porn people, did you think they were really stupid?"
Joanna: "No. I really like Mr. Marcus."
Duke: "Did you discuss literature and music?"
Joanna: "We mostly talked about sex. He's an intelligent guy. He can talk about sex intelligently, as opposed to Scott Nails who can't talk about anything intelligently. Justine Joli is smart. All the girls were cool."
Duke: "Did you ask for their SAT scores?"
Joanna: "I did not ask for their SAT scores...not even Marcus, because I do not intend on dating him. Mr. Marcus is married. This is just porno. We did a scene. It doesn't matter what he got on his SATs."
Duke: "How's your soul?"
Joanna: "I don't have one, remember? I was looking for one. When you called me, I was in the middle of being lost. There was all this traffic and all these cars were beeping and I was going the wrong way. I had a panic attack. I pulled over and I had to take a deep breath. I saw this coffee shop. They had these books. I haven't been reading much lately. I feel guilty.
"They had a biography of T.S. Eliot. I hadn't read anything by T.S. Eliot since I was in college, so I was sitting down for 45 minutes and I felt much better and I almost found my soul. And I checked my messages and there was one from you. So I thought I'd call you back. I left the coffee shop because I didn't want to talk about porno in front of all these people reading books."
Duke: "You never answered my email about what is the source of morality."
Joanna: "I didn't feel like continuing anymore. I was sick of it. It was fun up until now so I just stopped it. Sometimes in a relationship you can keep beating a dead horse. I felt like we were starting to beat a dead horse.
"You're going to have to think of a whole new set of questions.
"Eon McKai is my best friend in the industry. I got along really well with Belladonna. I can't call her my best friend because I've only met her once."
Joanna met Eon McKai in Las Vegas in January at the AVN show. "I emailed him before saying, I saw your movie. I really liked it. I'm a director too. I do something similar. Are you going to Vegas? Let's meet up.
"We did and we became best friends instantly.
"I stayed up until 8am cleaning Eon [McKai's] kitchen.
"I'm really good at cooking and cleaning. I love it. It makes me feel like more of a woman. People used to think women were only good for cooking and cleaning. Then there was a wave of feminism that women shouldn't be cooking and cleaning. They should be working. I think a modern feminist should be working and cleaning and cooking and f-------."
Duke: "How's your love life?"
Joanna: "It's terrible."
Duke: "How do most men that you date react to your being a porn star?"
Joanna: "They hate it."
Duke: "Of course. How could you respect a guy who didn't mind if you got pronged by other guys?"
Joanna: "I don't care if I'm dating a porn star."
Duke: "You could never date a porn star."
Joanna: "I tried for ten days. It didn't work. He was mean. But I love what I do.
"Before I did what I did, it wasn't like men were amazing. I wouldn't give all this up to be in a relationship.
"Do you have any other questions?"
Duke: "Where are you now?"

Joanna: "No. I pulled over to finish the conversation."

7/29/05

Fine Yiddishe Maidele Joanna Angel Falls Off The Derech (Path)

I call former Orthodox Jew Joanna Angel. Last time I spoke to her, last week, she sounded upset.

"Shabbat shalom!" I say. "Gut Shabbos!"

Joanna: "Who's this?"

"Duke Floored."

"I was like, who else knows? I'm making the credits to Joanna's Angels (VCA) and I'm putting a special thank you to you."

"I helped inspire your art."

"I don't know if you did that, but you were owed a thank you."

Duke: "You sound a lot happier this week than last week."

Joanna: "No, I'm not at all, but I'm really happy to hear your voice."

She giggles.

Duke: "You just wanted to hear my 'Gut Shabbos' wish over the phone."

Joanna: "That's all I really needed. Working on Friday night is cursing me."

Duke: "Are you about to light candles?"

Joanna: "Yes. My mother's coming over.

"Did you call me to ask me any embarrassing questions?"

Duke: "I just thought I'd wish you a Shabbat Shalom."

Joanna: "I grew up really religious."

Duke: "I don't think I've ever met anyone else who was Orthodox and then became a porn star."

[In 1996, I met Alexandra Silk who grew up Orthodox.]

Joanna: "You've probably met nobody else like me."

Duke: "That's true. Did you go to a yeshiva?"

Joanna: "I did until I [went to a public highschool]."

Duke: "Do you ever go back and visit your rebbes?"

Joanna: "I used to visit them all the time. I used to go to Israel every summer. A lot of my relatives won't talk to me anymore."

Duke: "Prior to them finding out..."

Joanna: "Yeah, that I do what I do."

Duke: "Was that tough for you?"

Joanna: "It wasn't that tough. I thought my uncle was a jerk, this rabbi guy. All the relatives I was close to still talk to me. The ones I didn't like stopped talking to me. It was a good filter. The whole family is divided [between] who loves Joanna and who hates Joanna. I just have that effect on people."

Duke: "You're a nice Jewish girl."

Joanna: "I am a nice Jewish girl. I had to wear skirts and everything. Sometimes I would get in trouble because I would wear ones that were too short."

Duke: "Were you a bad kid?"

Joanna: "Yeah. Well, I don't think wearing a skirt that goes two inches above your knee is that bad.

"I live in a religious neighborhood, Brooklyn. My mom thinks I moved here to be near religious people."

Duke: "Do you hold by the eruv?"

Joanna makes me repeat the question three times. "No, I don't. I carry stuff inside of it all the time. Well, no, I guess you can carry stuff inside the eruv. I don't even know where it is. I used to know where it was when I was younger. I was very careful. We lived inside of one. We paid a lot of money to do that.

"You didn't think I knew what that [eruv] meant, did you?"

Duke: "No. I was testing you."

Joanna: "You can't carry stuff outside the eruv on [the Sabbath and Jewish holidays]. I fast on Yom Kippur. I don't eat any chametz on Passover."

Duke: "Do you keep kosher?"

Joanna: "I don't. Don't tell my family that. They'd be so upset."

Duke: "Are your family big readers of lukeisback?"

Joanna: "My dad has a Google News Alert on me. He reads everything."

He's an insurance broker.

Joanna: "He saw the interview [I did with her]. He thought it was funny. Isn't that cool? You can come to our sukkah some time.

"I have to leave in a couple of minutes. I have to leave to go take photos of a girl, but you can ask me a couple more questions.

"When my dad decided he was going to be ok with what I do, he was ok with what I do. He looks into it. He follows up on it. When he calls me and I say I'm not doing anything, he says, I know you're in LA. I read it on AVN.com. I know exactly what you're doing."

Duke: "Are you a Zionist?"

Joanna: "No, I'm not. My mom is. My dad is not. It actually causes a lot of fights in my house."

Duke: "Do you feel it was sacrilegious for secular Jews to create the modern state of Israel without G-d's explicit approval?"

Joanna: "No. I'm not an anti-Zionist. Israeli politics is hard to talk about, but the Palestinians did live there for some amount of time and deserve to have something. A lot of the problems going on there is that everybody is a victim of a government that they don't want."

Duke: "Do you think women should count in a minyan?"

Joanna: "Any time I do anything religious it is to make my mom happy. Because I grew up Orthodox, when I do do anything religious, it is in an Orthodox synagogue. Any time I go to anything Conservative or Reform for a bar mitzvah or whatever, I feel awkward. I think if you're going to be religious, you need to be religious and do it the way you are supposed to do it. So I don't think women should count in a minyan. I know that goes against other things I believe in, but I don't think being religious is a left-wing thing. It's not good to be religious if you want to exercise your right to be a radical."

Joanna says she's a feminist.

Duke: "Are you a third wave feminist?"

Joanna: "I'm a 20th wave feminist. I can't think of any feminist I would follow all their rules, but I'm definitely adament about my feminism.

"I have to go take pictures of a girl."

Duke: "Are you going to reveal her shame?"

Joanna: "I am. And I'm making a sandwich for me to eat on the way to the shameful act."

Duke: "You should have a gut shabbos."

Joanna: "Are you going to put this on your website?"

Duke: "If that's ok with you."

Joanna: "I would love that."

Chaim Amalek writes:

Christ, I'm trying to find a pic of her. Midget. Why don't you ask her how she feels about AMALEK? If she's cool with AMALEK, you should set us up on a reality date. Direct her to my profile, and see what she says. Is she nuts? Ask her why she persists in using her vagina as a plaything, when Palestinian women are using theirs as cannon. Also - and it pains me that you failed to ask these questions - how does she feel about sex with uncut men?

Also: if you are so smart, why are you making porn? Why aren't you in med school or working at Goldman Sachs? How do you feel about Black/Jewish relations? Williamsburgh hipsters: can they make common cause with the Satmar?

Is there anything wrong with Hollywood that Islam cannot cure? Are there too many Jews in Hollywood, too few, or just the right amount? Speaking as a genius yourself, have you come to any conclusions regarding "The Bell Curve"?

Much to my chagrin, I find that even really short women in NY won't date shorter men. What's your cut off?

Which Jewish rituals does she still hold by? Most importantly, if she is to date me, how often does she go to the mikvah? You need to email her these questions asap before the shabbos queen shows up.

8/10/05

I talked about Joanna Tuesday night with Sita aka Eve Mayfair. They were both in the Eon McKai movie Kill Girl Kill 3.
Sita said Joanna (5'2") only came up to her breasts.
We agreed that Joanna had a crackling personality.
I call Joanna at 6pm EST Wednesday. I hear a lot of noise in the background.
"I missed you," she says.
It's been ten days since we've spoken.
"I miss you too,"I say. "What are you doing now?"
"I don't know. Somebody needs me on the intro to their show, to, like, flash my boobs and say, 'Don't you want these?' or something. So, I'm about to do that."
"What show is this?" I ask.
"What's your show called again? Is it Nasty Hour or Naughty Hour?"
A man says "Naughty Hour."
Joanna: "It's on cable TV or something."
Luke: "This is exciting. The glamor, the prestige..."
Joanna giggles. "Crazy. I'm standing on the street corner of Sixth Avenue and something else in Manhattan."
Luke: "Sixth Avenue and what? I'll send all my readers there."
Joanna: "I can't tell you. Somewhere in Murray Hills.
"Uh oh, I'm getting another phone call. I have to go. It's another girl who's got to be on this show and I have to tell her where to go."
"Bye."
"Shall I call you back?"
"Yeah."
"I'll call you later."

"Making porn in a city where its damn near impossible to make porn certainly builds character," Joanna admits. "Sometimes I wanna take the easy way out and film in L.a. where everything is spacious and there is a never-ending pool of talent ready to shoot at any moment. But then it just wouldn't be BurningAngel anymore. I'm gonna keep shooting in NYC until I'm blacklisted from every rooftop in all five boroughs."

8/15/05

I call her Monday afternoon in New York.

Joanna: "Did you know that I used to sing 'Aishet Chayil' (Woman of Valor) to my mom every Friday night.

"Aishet Chayil to me means someone who does porn. Belladonna to me is an Aishet Chayil. She's a wife who does porn."

Luke: "People come to my website for the porn, but they stay for the Torah."

Joanna: "As well they should.

"Do you want to know what's going on in my life?"

Luke: "Yeah."

Joanna: "OK. I shot with [photographer] Richard Kern. He's famous. I was honored that he wanted to shoot me. He lives in New York. He doesn't live in LA with the stupid people. I'm going to put the photos on Burningangel.com. He's going to put them on his website too. It was a content trade."

Luke: "Did it make you uncomfortable when he looked at you naked?"

Joanna: "I really liked it."

Luke: "He's 51."

Joanna: "He's cute."

Luke: "You like older men?"

Joanna: "No. I like younger men."

Luke: "You're 24."

Joanna: "No. Yes. Lately, I've been lying. I've been saying 22."

Luke: "What's it going to be like for you to get old?"

Joanna: "I'm going to have a lot of tattoos that I can't get rid of."

Luke: "Do you want to be in Over 40 magazines?"

Joanna: "I don't know what I want to be. It'll be a while."

Luke: "Time's winged chariot hurrying near; And yonder all before us lies deserts of vast eternity."

Joanna: "Stop being so depressing.

"I'm going back to LA in September."

Luke: "For Rosh Hashanah."

Joanna: "Actually, Mr. Religious, Rosh Hashanah is in October this year. Let me check the Jewish calendar."

Luke: "I was just checking to see if you knew that. Rosh Hashanah begins October 3rd and Yom Kippur October 12th."

Joanna: "I don't like Yom Kippur. I hate to feel so guilty."

Luke: "Tell Uncle Luke about your sins."

Joanna: "This year I've been good. I don't think doing porno is a sin. A sin is when you're mean to other people. I was mean once this year. Someone took me on a date on Valentine's Day to this place and the bartender was someone I was dating. I wound up having sex with the bartender in the bathroom during my date. I didn't really like the date but I felt so bad because he was so nice. So I screwed him. Then I went to the bartender's house afterwards and screwed him again. Then I ended up screwing him continuously for four months. That was how I knew I was in love with him.

"He said, as you are Joe Whore, can I trust you to use protection with everyone you sleep with. I said, I don't want to sleep with anyone else anymore.

"I loved him with all my heart."

Luke: "Why did you guys break up?"

Joanna: "He didn't want to date a girl who did porn."

Luke: "Wow."

Joanna: "Isn't that mean?"

Luke: "You'd think he'd be proud of you."

Joanna: "He said he was OK with it but he really wasn't.

"I used to clean his house. That's what I liked to do. It made me happy. His house is really gross. I bought this little outfit to clean his house with. It was this little thong and matching thing. I'd get down on my hands and knees and scrub the floor.

"I was like, I have to go but I'll be back in two hours. I had to go make a video."

Luke: "Have sex with someone?"

Joanna: "It was just a blowjob video. He saw that video on the internet and I was wearing that outfit I bought for him. He said, 'That day you told me you had to go to a meeting.' I was like, well, that's kind of a meeting for me."

We laugh.

Joanna: "He was kind of a jerk. Only a jerk sleeps with a girl in a bathroom [while she's on a date with someone else]."

Joanna says she's had about a dozen boyfriends in her life. She's never been engaged.

Luke: "How many men have asked you to marry them?"

Joanna: "None that I've dated. Only men who've never met me.

"The bartender was Jewish. He grew up religious. That's why we got along. We were these filthy people who came from religious backgrounds.

"I'm dating someone [male talent in LA] now who's Jewish, but he doesn't like it when I tell people that we're dating. When you talk to someone on the phone every day and they tell you that they like you and I tell them that I like them, that's dating. He just has commitment issues. Sometimes I'll play this little tricks and I won't call for a couple of days and he'll call and say that he misses me.

"We don't actually go out. I go see him."

Luke: "And go have sex with him."

Joanna: "Yeah. And we talk."

Luke: "Is he a director?"

Joanna: "I wish. I want to date a director."

Luke: "Does he have an SAT over 1440?"

Joanna: "I didn't even ask. My last boyfriend had a 1550.

"While making Joanna's Angels, I didn't leave the house for two months. I don't even know if LFP will like it. The release date is September 13 if I fix all the terrible mistakes I made on it."

Luke: "You got to pass QC.

"So this is your first relationship with someone who is talent."

Joanna: "This is not a relationship. This doesn't count."

Joanna did a scene with her non-boyfriend James Deen in Kill Girl Kill 3.

Luke: "So, you're feeling better. You sounded depressed the last few times I spoke to you."

Joanna: "It's so nice that you're concerned. I'm a little upset by all the QC issues, but I think that a lot of the time when people are geniuses, nobody gets it at first."

She laughs. "I'm coming [to LA] this September. I'm going to be in a movie. He's going to be in it too but we're not going to be working together. I think we're both going to get jealous. I won't get jealous but he might, but he'll never say it.

"I'm supposed to do some press for Joanna's Angels. Who knows if it will ever make it out because apparently I suck."

8/30/05

Joanna Angel's Love Life

I call her Tuesday morning. "How's your boyfriend James Deen?"

Joanna: "I woke up this morning to a really angry message from him. Angry because he found that interview on your website where I was talking about him. I guess somebody sent it to him.

"Come on. That's so four weeks ago. He went through every line that was about him and said what was real and what was fake and what I was making up in my head. How I have mental problems and how I need to stop talking about him. I guess it was not the first time that I talked about him to the 'press.'"

Do you want me to call him?

"No. I'm not giving you his phone number.

"Whatever it was, it isn't anymore."

I'm sorry I hurt your relationship.

"It was never a relationship in the first place. We just talk on the phone. I guess I got deluded. I was stuck in my apartment editing Joanna's Angels. I had to watch a scene where him and I were having sex again and again and it made me feel like we were spending the summer together, but I guess it wasn't really him. It was just an image of him on the editing screen.

"I'm too scared to call him back. He gets really angry.

"I always get myself into trouble. I'm a writer. I make up things in my head.

"There's a story on my blog in late January about the most expensive date I've had. It was about me going home with this guy [her last boyfriend]. He ripped my stockings and his dog ate my $75 thong. I tallied up how much the night cost me and how it would've been less expensive to get a male escort.

"It was funny. Half of it was true and half of it was exaggerated.

"I guess he went to work and somebody photocopied that story and put it all over his desk.

"He was just some random guy I went home from a bar with, but we ended up dating.

"When he read the story, and I didn't write his name in it, he got upset.

"His dog was so dirty. It was one of the things that made me realize what a scumbag he was by how little he took care of his dogs.

"I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. James Deen isn't even his real name. When I use that name in a story, I'm writing about a fictional character.

"He told me he would never have sex with me again if I wrote about him once more. So I tried to stop writing about him.

"A couple of guys wrote songs about me. I've never called them and said, 'That's not true. I'm not like that. You need mental help.'

"When I interviewed Marilyn Manson a long time ago, I asked him, 'What's real and what's fake?' He said, 'Marilyn Manson comes from Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson. I made a fake name from two fake names.'

"Anything he does, he can't be held accountable for."

Like Joanna Angel.

"But Joanna's real and Angel's fake. When my stories are fake, that's the Angel side."

How many boys have you lost because you've written about them?

"A lot. It's been happening to me since sixth grade when I wrote a poem about making out with a boy outside school. I won a poetry content for it. He broke up with me because of it. I guess he didn't want other people to know that."

When are you coming out to LA?

"September fifth. Do you want to pick me up from the airport? I'll be out there for 20 days if James Deen doesn't kill me."

Have you been talking to him every day?

"Yeah."

Maybe you and James can pitch a tent together at Eon McKai's house?

"No. I think I should just move on to someone else who doesn't care that I write stories about them or tell lies about them on Lukeisback."

Let me talk to James. I'm a kind and considerate guy.

"I know you are, but you're on my side.

"He's got all these mean friends. I may be making that up. Sometimes, when I'm on the phone with him, he'll say, 'No, that's not true.' And he'll turn around and there will always be someone there to make sure that what he says is right and what I say is wrong."

How old is he?

"Fifteen. I'm 36. I shouldn't be wasting my time with him.

"My little sister just went off to college. She's dating three boys at the same time. I'm so proud of her."

What drugs do you take before doing a scene to make the pain go away?

"I don't do drugs before a scene. I do drugs when I'm not doing scenes. Doing scenes makes me happy. When I'm not doing them, I'm miserable."

What have you been reading lately?

"I bought the Diary of Anais Nin."

Do you feel like you are following in her footsteps?

"Yes. She dated assholes. Henry Miller was a jerk."

Does he remind you of James Deen?

"I guess Henry Miller was a little bit like James Deen.

"I need to stop telling lies and start telling truths. I want to get married and have kids one day. If I keep doing these interviews, and screwing things up, that's never going to happen."

I feel like I've played a role in your downfall.

"That's ok. I feel like it was probably for the best.

"He said there was no way he would be jealous."

Even if you did three black guys.

"He wouldn't care.

"I heard this song, 'Damn this foolish heart.' I want to get that tattooed on my arm. We could get matching tattooes.

"Do you enjoy interviewing me?"

Yes. I wouldn't do it so often if I didn't.

"Am I disappointing you today?"

No. You're fine. Do you feel like I'm constantly pumping you for fresh material?

"Yes."

You've had so many men.

"You're next.

"I'm going to get a bagel."

Don't forget to say hamotzi.

9/2/05

The last two nights, she's gone out drinking.

We talk Friday afternoon. "Last night I went to the bar Duve. Every Thursday they have this gay trannies party thing. I was drinking and dancing. I only like to dance around gay boys because they don't hit on me and grind up on me and get weird. Also, gay boys are better dancers.

"I heard you were coming to the set of New Wave Hookers. I told Sean that I felt like I was going to meet the Easter Bunny."

Luke: "That's a Christian reference."

Joanna: "There are no characters like that in Judaism. Well, there's Elijah the Prophet, but that would've been geeky. 'I'm going to meet Elijah the Prophet.'

"I didn't mean that you were somebody who puts eggs in baskets. You're like this thing that I hear about and is in my life in some way but you don't really exist. You're imaginary and now you're going to come to life and I don't know what's going to happen. My whole world is not going to make sense any more."

Luke: "I'm your imaginary friend."

Joanna: "Eon [McKai] sent me this CD of songs I have to memorize. I try to practice [lip syncing] but it feels weird. I called him up last night and said, 'Whatever happened to the good ol' days when you guys would only hire me to have sex?'

"I've always wanted to be Ophelia. She was flakey and always in love."

Luke: "Get thee to a nunnery."

Joanna: "What happened yesterday?"

Luke: "I just interviewed James [Deen]."

Joanna: "Are you guys going to hang out and go shopping? Go to the mall?"

Luke: "I want to do Dr. Phil with you guys."

Joanna: "No. You're the Easter Bunny. That's all you get for now."

9/8/05

Neu Wave Hookers

Joanna Angel Cricket Cricket Cricket Cricket Joanna Joanna Joanna Joanna Joanna, Eve Mayfair Joanna, Eve T.T. Boy's uncle Dirty Harry Eve Joanna Joanna Joanna Joanna Joanna Joanna Joanna Joanna Harry, Joanna Harry, Joanna Harry, Joanna Harry, Joanna Harry, Joanna Harry, Joanna Harry, Joanna Harry, Joanna Joanna Joanna Joanna Riley Riley Riley Riley Sean, Riley Riley Riley, Harry Riley Riley

Fleshbot reports. Sean Carnage reports.

I meet Joanna Angel for the first time. I get her to put me on the phone with her mom, an Israeli. (Joanna's dad has a PhD in Jewish History, but works in business as a consultant, and Joanna was raised Orthodox).

I ask mom what she thinks about Joanna's porn career. Her mom hates it. She says that Joanna fell in with a bad crowd and that's why she made such a bad decision. "She doesn't understand what she's doing is wrong."

Joanna's receiving make-up while we talk.

Mom: "What can I do? There's nothing I can do. I love her. I respect her. I can not give my daughter up. We're all crazy about her. Her two sisters, my husband, tried hard. We can't blame ourselves. We do everything not to lose the relationship.

"We all thought it wouldn't continue long but it does. It becomes more and more serious.

"Nobody knows where she got this from. I believe it is very dangerous. I'm very sorry about it. I've very ashamed about it. It's not our way.

"She did me a favor. She stays away from the people I work with, the synagogue I go to.

"She loves me. Usually people like that never see the parents. We do. I don't know when it's going to stop.

"I think it's the money.

"We did everything for her. We paid for Rutgers. She's the only person who went in that direction. I don't know if there's something wrong with her. She seems like a normal healthy girl."

Luke: "I think it's the attention."

Mom: "She gets plenty of attention. I've never seen a person who doesn't like Joanna.

"Maybe you'll be the one to convince her that what she's doing is wrong."

Luke: "I try. I'm [a certain thing]."

Mom, pleased: "Oh, you are? Keep it as a secret. We'll give you money if you can convince her. Any somebody tells her that what she's doing is wrong, she won't talk to him. She's got a thousand people agreeing with her. She's in the wrong crowd.

"I tell her that these people don't give a damn about her. It's good for him and not for her. The people who work with her are destroying her."

Luke: "She's a star in this world."

Mom: "She could be a star in any world. Why does she have to choose this world?

"I don't know what to tell you. My only wish is that at least she use her money to help the Jewish people. But she doesn't. Everybody tries to suck as much money as they want from her.

"I'd do anything for her."

Luke: "Why did she go to a secular highschool instead of a Jewish school?"

Mom: "That was very bad. I tried to fight it. My husband couldn't pay the money for a Jewish school. He was the only income in the house.

"What she's doing doesn't take any effort.

"She loves to write. She doesn't want to take money from her parents. She has something to live on [via porn], but she doesn't have anything to live for.

"I can't live without my religion and culture. It's not just something to live on, but something to live for. She does one thing for the money."

Luke: "She wants to feel like a star."

Mom: "She can feel like a star without doing that."

Luke: "But this is the easiest."

Mom: "She can write about anything."

Luke: "But that would take effort."

Mom: "Why does she have to write about this subject if she has the talent?

"She loved [doing Jewish things] but she didn't have a friend. When she left the house, that was a problem. The people she surrounded herself had no values. That's why she ended up here.

"I asked her to go to my country [Israel]. My brother could help her. She could be the representative of those people. But she can not go down to their level.

"She's so smart that she managed to convince her sister and my husband [that what she was doing with burningangel.com and porn] was ok. I was against it. He's a PhD person. He says, 'Oh, that's nothing. Oh, she's stuck.' But then she gets sucked in more and more."

Luke: "How does your husband deal with what Joanna's doing?"

Mom: "He always thought that this was not the only thing she's doing. She's doing other things. She models. She does entertainment. Nobody can believe that she's still doing this. Everybody says, 'Don't say anything or you'll lose her.'

"I used to think that being smart was the most important thing. Joanna is so smart. Now I don't think that being smart is so important.

"I wish she'd come home. She can come home anytime. But it doesn't seem like she will. Why do this when her parents will support her?

"I hope you're not going to ruin your relationship with her by telling her..."

Luke: "She knows what I think. I don't preach at her."

We say goodbye after more than 20-minutes on the phone. Joanna has been looking at me much of the time, amusement and concern alternating in her expression.

When I summarize the converstion to Joanna, she laughs. "I'd do this for free," says Joanna. "For a date with Malachi Ecks [production manager]. For macaroni and cheese."

Eve Mayfair: "Better than for a puppy."

Serena Sinn told me a few weeks ago that she was going to do anal so she could buy a puppy. I've heard more jokes about that than anything I've ever written.

I ask Joanna if she was molested as a kid.

"I wish my dad molested me," she says. "It was the other way round. I was ignored. I would've loved for my dad to molest me. He wouldn't even talk to me."

Malachi tells me: "You've got more material than you can use."

Neu Wave Hookers is the first feature VCA has released since LFP bought it. The movie has four times the budget of Eon McKai's previous movies.

Dirty Harry, 54, and Joanna do a non-sex scene on the bed. He touches her all over and she acts like she doesn't enjoy it.

"Boy, that was creepy!" says the still photographer when it's over.

Eon McKai is working on the creepy angle just like Greg Dark did with the original New Wave Hookers.

Eve Mayfair says she's going to show this movie to her mom. She's that proud of it. "I don't think she would freak out but my brothers would. And you can't tell her anything without everyone finding out."

I take a break from relentlessly pumping people for scoop and enjoy The Anti-Chomsky Reader.

Joanna sits near me and reads Blender magazine. While I read a chapter entitled, "Whitewashing Dictatorship in Communist Vietnam and Cambodia," Joanna reads about rapper Kanye West. While I study Chomsky's support for holocaust deniers, she delves into rock 'n' roll. While I read an essay called "Chomsky and the Media: A Kept Press and a Manipulated People," she reads an essay called "Drugs, Hookers and Drinking in Class."

She used to be a smart girl. That's what her mom tells me.

I had an SAT score of 1135 while Joanna's was about 1460 yet I pursue a life of the mind while Joanna wallows in the gutter of pornography.

Joanna describes to an ingenue that Lukeisback is like Cosmo magazine with fashion and beauty tips, exercise and health, how to plan your wedding in less than 20 days, advice for the lovelorn...

A guy says: "I thought women had their weddings planned since they were little girls."

Joanna: "I know I have."

I should title this column: "Luke talks to Joanna's mom and makes everything all better."

Joanna's mom saw a poster of The Repenetrator, a hardcore film Joanna made that is filled with blood and gore.

9/12/05

With the power out around Los Angeles, I call my little girl.

Joanna, driving around Chatsworth looking for a way to get to Pasadena: "My mom was worried. She said, 'They're not going to print that anywhere, are they?' I said, no, never."

Luke: "Did Kurt Lockwood treat you like a lady on Friday?"

Joanna laughs. "I think I treated him like a lady."

Luke: "What does that mean?"

Joanna: "I don't feel like going into it."

Kurt Lockwood responds to my email inquiry:

Dear Useless Dirt Merchant Fluke Bored:

VCA director Eon McKai told me it was the hottest scene in the movie so go ask him. Now please stop e-mailing me. I mean, it's every week now you gotta send me another lame gossip inquiry? Seriously, it's borderline stalking. If I wanna correspond with the village idiot I'll write a letter to the President. Your schoolgirl obsession with me has gotten kinda creepy. Don't you have some poor, new, would-be porn starlet's drug use to exploit for banner revenue? Ugh, even responding to you makes feel like I'm gonna be sick. Get a real job, bitch.

Joanna: "Some guy at Wicked, Jackie, wanted to meet me. They told me I was cool. I don't know if that means he wants to shoot me or not.

"He said, 'I think I read about you somewhere.' I said it was probably on lukeisback.

"I think you and my mom get on pretty well. She likes you better than she likes me.

"I went to Eon's house [over the weekend] and drank some beer. We had a little wrap-party."

Luke: "Did you discuss the fine points of directing?"

Joanna: "Yeah, we did. That's all we talked about. And only the fine points."

Luke: "Making up a shot list."

Joanna: "Exactly."

Luke: "I liked how your mother blamed your father."

Joanna: "That's what mothers like to do. I'll take all the blame."

9/14/05

Who is this Mark Kramer [LFP's Head of Production] ?

Flux writes on XPT:

Mark Kramer was on Eon McKai's call sheet for Neu Wave as the A.D.

He shows up late the first day. First off, he barges in on Joanna Angel in the bathroom and closes the door. A few minutes later, Joanna comes out crying. He yells at everybody, frequently disappears from set for hours at a time, and falls asleep on the couch in the middle of shooting. During Pretty Girls, Mark gropes Joanna more than once.

The next day he shows up late again, and leaves early. He freaks out on Molly in makeup as soon as he walks through the door. Mark insists that the grips get food when it's hours before lunch time and no one else gets fed, even though the food is being purchased with the budget money. Again, he disappears to his car several times for long periods of time. But of course he composes himself well when Dustin Flynt stops by set.

The third day Mark only shows up for a few hours at the most in the middle of the day. Luke F-rd was on set that day, so that had to be making him nervous.

The last day he never makes an appearance until nearly midnight and it's only for a few minutes. This guy was anything but an A.D. He was just a major pain in the ass. What's up with Mark Kramer?

Kramer was doing drugs in his car during the shoot. He tried to extort money from the movie (made for four times McKai's normal budget).

A source writes: "I hear that more and more members of the production staff are attempting to get in on the gravy train of kick backs. Employees that have been the system the longest have learned the treacherous habits of those before them and will stop at nearly nothing to get their piece of the pie. If they only knew how closely they are being watched by the "group". If they aren't sweating yet, they will be...they will be..."

Kramer denied this to his higher-ups at LFP. He says that McKai didn't spend his budget and offered him a bribe.

I asked McKai for comment. He didn't have any. I emailed Kramer.

Kramer is LFP's Head of Production. He's Eon McKai's boss.

At the end of the shoot, Kramer expected an envelope of cash. He said he had to be paid in cash. McKai got in a huge fight with Kramer on-set in front of about 30 people. McKai claimed that Kramer hadn't been an A.D. That Eon hadn't had an A.D. the whole shoot.

The whole set united against Kramer. Mark got paid in cash enclosed in Swindle magazine. But he was screamed at for not being an A.D. while taking an A.D.'s money.

I call Joanna Angel at 6pm Tuesday.

Luke: "You sound sleepy."

Joanna: "I'm not doing that well. I'm just annoyed.

"Mark Kramer hired me at LFP to make a movie [Joanna's Angels]. He yelled at me a lot. I'm pretty sure that's his job -- to yell a lot. I thought he yelled at me about things that were a bit unnecessary. It was kinda stressful all summer because I never knew what the right thing to do was. He'd never tell me what the right format was. I just know that whatever format I handed in was wrong. Every week or so there was a phone call from him to yell at me that what I was doing was wrong.

"I felt like, ok, I understand that this is my first time making a movie... But sometimes he just yelled to yell. He wasn't doing anything productive.

"I was nervous to be on set with him. It made me uncomfortable when he'd say to Eon, 'Why did you let your friends direct this movie?' He made things tough between me and Eon. Mark Kramer made me look like I was Eon's stupid friend."

Luke: "What was he doing when he closed the door on you in the bathroom?"

Mark: "I'm really emotional. Most people aren't as attached to their pornos as I am. I spent all summer making this movie and it hurt my feelings that Mark Kramer yelled at me about it and he didn't even watch it. Not once did I ever hear, 'Good job,' or even 'Bad job.'

"I saw him and I had all these things in my head that I wanted to say. He came into the bathroom to talk to me. I didn't know what to say, so I just started crying.

"I know he used to have a crush on me."

Luke: "Was he groping you?"

Joanna: "He wasn't groping me in the bathroom."

Luke: "Was he groping you during the pretty girls?"

Joanna: "He just grabbed my boobs and said, 'Are these real?' I said yes, and pushed his hands down."

Luke: "I guess he was just doing his job."

Joanna: "It's not a big deal. It just kinda sucks to not be respected as a director there. I feel like it effected the way everybody [at LFP] treated me. The whole office. Everybody listens to the boss. Because he decided I was an idiot, he told everybody else I was an idiot, and so they treated me like an idiot."

Luke: "With Kurt Lockwood, were you inserting your fingers certain places?"

Joanna laughs. "Yes, I did. He said he liked it. I had to give the boy what he wanted.

I can't believe the fingers that caress my face have been up Kurt Lockwood's bum.

"Making Joanna's Angels has been one big emotional experience. It shouldn't be like that. We make porno because there's no emotions in it.

"Today I found out they changed the boxcover, which sucks.

"Did you party with Jesse Jane last night?"

Luke: "Yeah, we did a few lines of coke."

Joanna: "You and Jesse Jane?"

Luke: "Just kidding."

Joanna: "Did you tell her that I want to make-out with her?"

Luke: "I forgot."

Joanna: "You said you were going to make this happen."

Luke: I can't believe Mark Kramer touched your bosom.

Joanna: "If he would've just asked. I'm not that opposed to people touching my bosom. But people should ask first."

Luke: "What kind of world do we live in?"

Joanna: "He told me that my movie didn't pass QC (Quality Control) because there was too much violence in the movie. Rough sex."

Luke: "Rough sex on you?"

Joanna: "Does that offend you?"

Luke: "My little darling getting treated like a rag doll. It's ok when it's some random dirty whore, but this is my little Jo, yeshiva-born-and-bred."

Joanna giggle. "I'm sorry but my friend is showing me her butt.

"He said he doesn't like that stuff in his movies because he's a gentle man."

Luke: "I guess Mark Kramer and I have the same tastes."

Joanna: "You both like nice soft movies like Pirates."

10/20/05

Hustler Hollywood Thursday night.

Van Styles, Joanna Angel Van, Joanna Joanna's GF Dana DeArmond Dana Joanna Dana Harris Dana Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Violet Blue, Xeni Jardin Violet, Xeni Carly Milne, Nina Hartley, Dana Harris, Joanna Angel Violet, woman, Carly, Nina, Dana, Joanna Theresa Flynt, Violet Blue, woman, Carly, Nina, Dana Theresa, Violet Blue, woman, Carly, Nina, Dana Theresa, Violet, woman, Carly Violet, woman, Carly, Nina Carly, Nina, Dana Woman, Carly, Nina, Dana, Joanna Violet, woman, Carly, Nina, Dana Theresa, Violet, woman, Carly, Nina, Dana Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Dana, Joanna Van Styles, Adam Grayson, Joanna Angel Van, Adam, Joanna Van, Adam, Joanna Adam, Joanna Publicist Sean Carney, boyfriend Gram Ponante, friend JBM thread GFY XPT

Gram Ponante writes: "That is the best picture of me I have ever seen on your site or any other. Holly Randall is a genius. It is erotic but also female-positive and empowering. May I steal it?"

I arrive at Hustler Hollywood at 7pm.

I look for friendly faces. Carly is busy. I see Joanna Angel, who flew in for the event and is flying out Friday.

Eon McKai called me late Thursday on Joanna's behalf, asking me to come to tonight's show. I immediately called Joanna. She asked me to just write about her tonight.

Joanna introduces me to her roommate in LA, fellow model and porn girl Dana DeArmond. Dana was one of the first girls to appear naked on Joanna's site BurningAngel.com. Dana is doing a female domination video Friday, strapping it on and taking it to a guy.

Dana is Joanna's new best female friend in LA. Joanna crashes at Dana's place.

Joanna says she stopped taking speed "a little while ago." She won't be exact.

From what I heard Thursday night, the best chapters come from Violet Blue, Dana Harris, Joanna Angel (who got the biggest laughs) and Holly Randall (she has a degree in English Literature from UCLA).

I estimate there are a hundred people in the crowd.

Afterwards, Joanna Angel says she fasted on Yom Kippur. "I got a call from my mother saying, 'You better fast. You have a lot to repent for.'"

Joanna's parents have been hanging out at a local Chabad house.

She's wearing four-inch pink heels, which cost her $400. "I only have to write five more chapters and I'll pay for them," she jokes. "Publishers bring it on."

Angel makes six times as much for giving a blowjob ($300) on camera than for writing a chapter for this book Naked Ambition.

She repeatedly signs the book, "Enjoy my ass and my writing."

A couple of Asian girls walk in. Dana DeArmond checks them out. Joanna hassles her. Dana (a bisexual with a boyfriend at LFP) returns fire. "Girl, don't you f--- with me when I'm checking out Asian girls."

Mike writes Luke:

I have only had the chance to read the full story arcs of the Joanna Angel interviews & "Dead Porn Stars" over the last hour; but if they are in anyway representative of the rest of the archives, I am very impressed. Both of these stories were examples of the honest, sarcastic, keep digging at the burn wound's scab, journalism that I have ever had the pleasure to read.

Your ability to capture your subject's personality & feelings in your interview w/ Joanna Angel was amazing. By the end of the piece, I felt like I was hearing the conversations on a speaker phone instead of reading it...Very visual..."Dead Porn Stars" should be required reading for anyone wanting to either get into the Industry, patronize the Industry, profit from the Industry or prosecute / persecute the Industry. No pure victims, saints, sinners or sluts on any sides of the debate (but apparently plenty of bastards).

Joanna Angel Reflects On Her New Literary Status

Gram Ponante writes: "Tom Wolfe is a snappy dresser, is all. JA was wearing trendy boots. It's not like she was wearing a white suit or looked like an old man."

Joanna writes me 10/22/05:

I think he wrote the electric kool aid acid test. I don't know what he looks like... I've been compared to marissa tomei a bunch, but I think that's just because she played a new yorker in my cousin vinny who didn't know what grits were. I think people think I'm like that. But Tom Wolfe? Hmmmm. Well if I'm tom wolfe then gram ponante resembles joyce carol oats! I'm sorry that my reading didn't empower you. You should propose to Carly that she put out a sequel to naked ambition featuring 31 males who are changing pornography. Then the 31 males can have a jello wrestling match with the females and that will determine who really changed porn.

Gram Ponante blogs:

Lurk Ford laments that women have done no good for the adult industry in last night's entry on his site. He did, however, take several pictures of them. I asked if he and Joanna Angel, who is looking more and more like Tom Wolfe every day, have learned to love each other now that she, too, is a literary lion and understands the delicious ache of words the way he does.

"I don't think so," he said (the suffixed "mate" was implied).

11/8/05

Dana DeArmond, Joanna Angel Update

I call Joanna Tuesday afternoon. She's staying with fellow model Dana DeArmond.

"How's the life of the famous author [Naked Ambition]?"

Joanna giggles. "I'm rolling in cash right now like Uncle Scrooge."

Luke: "Is it all blowjobs and bubblegum?"

Joanna: "Yeah. I'm like a rock star. There's a whole line of fans waiting outside to have sex with me."

Luke: "You've made $50 go a long way."

Joanna: "I knew how to invest that."

Luke: "Are you in NY or LA?"

Joanna: "LA."

Luke: "Getting pronged on camera?"

Joanna: "Not too often. I did something for Van Styles. He treated me more respectfully than my parents do.

"My mom [Orthodox Jew] hung out with one of my friend's. She sat down and talked to them and said how she tried to stop me from everything but she couldn't. She always has to explain that to my friends. She thinks my friends are like, 'Oh look. It's all her fault.' She doesn't get that they don't care.

"But the other day she called me and said, 'I think it's really good that you're a woman in this business. I think you just need to say, 'F--- everyone and make lots of money.' My mom is like a feminist sometimes. Really weird. It was her way of trying to make sense of the situation."

Luke: "I haven't spoken to your father yet."

Joanna: "I'll have to warm him up for that."

Luke: "What's he saying to you these days? 'Good job in Kill Girl Kill 3, darling.'"

Joanna: "Yes, he gave me a raise in my allowance.

"My dad talks to me about normal things, like 'Make sure you call your health insurance and get your policy renewed.' 'Make sure you pay those parking tickets, Joanna.'"

Luke: "'Watch out for the chlamydia.'"

Joanna: "I don't think he knows what that is. If he did, he would never talk about it."

Luke: "Have you been hanging out with any rock stars?"

Joanna: "I think I'm over rock stars. I grew up. They need quiet girls who don't do anything but hang around them."

Luke: "How many rock stars did you have?"

Joanna: "I don't know. I'm going to have to get back to you on that one. Quite a few."

Luke: "How's Dana? Do you guys have pillow fights?"

Joanna: "We have pillow fights and we paint each other's nails and sometimes we help each other masturbate. Boys are bad news.

"LFP asked me if I wanted to make another movie so I had to go in to talk to them [Drew Rosenfeld] about it."

Luke: "Did Drew touch you inappropriately?"

Joanna: "No. That office is a comfortable place now that Kramer's gone."

Luke: "Did Drew ask you, 'Are these real?' and then touch them?"

Joanna: "No. Nobody's done a reality check on me lately."

Luke: "Did Drew ask for a kickback if he gives you another movie?"

Joanna: "Like a pimp? No. Did you see Joanna's Angels?"

Luke: "No. Pornography degrades women."

Joanna: "It does. My porn is particularly degrading."

Luke: "That's what I feared. I put women on a pedestal."

Joanna: "Like Air Supply."

Luke: "So high they can almost see eternity."

Joanna: "I ask girls what they really like when I cast them and then I try to do everything except for that."

Luke: "What if you were dating a guy who didn't like to give you oral sex?"

Joanna: "It's happened quite often. I like it a lot but he makes me work for it. I get it when I do nice things. That's cool. I look forward to it. I think of it as like dessert. If someone does it to you all the time it isn't that exciting. But I've never had somebody do it to me on a regular basis."

Luke: "You haven't had one man..."

Joanna laughs: "For a really long time. Maybe that's my problem? If I had a serious relationship, then I'd be getting more oral sex? Getting pounded all the time can get painful after a while. Are you saying that when we get married, you're going to give me lots of oral sex?"

Luke: "Umm, as long as we were monogamous, but not if you were whoring around..."

Joanna: "Being a social butterfly."

Luke: "I'd like you to quit doing scenes when we get married, unless we need the money to pay for the kids' dayschool tuition."

Joanna: "I showed up to do a scene today and the director told me the guy was sick. I was convinced that I was ugly in person. I went home and cried. Can I have some of your lithium?"

Luke: "I'll trade you some."

Joanna: "I've never done it before.

"Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm in LA too much, but when I'm home, I'm like, ehhh. I have more friends here."

Luke: "And you're farther away from your parents."

Joanna: "I avoid their phone calls, unlike your's. I have my mom on a one-out-of-ten [basis]."

Luke: "What do you have me on?"

Joanna: "I pick up the phone every time you call. If I miss your call, I call you right back. I won't give my mom my house line.

"I saw a movie the other day that you'd probably like -- The Hebrew Hammer."

Luke: "I liked that. A lot of people call me The Hebrew Hammer for obvious reasons."

Joanna: "Because you try to save Chanukkah?"

Luke: "Yes. How'd you like the Kill Girl Kill 3 party?"

Joanna: "I had a good time. They gave me like 30 free-drink tickets and I think I used all of them. Then I blacked out at a certain point and I don't remember what happened. I woke up at a boy's house on his bathroom floor.

"I'm going to put Mr Marcus in my next movie. It's about time that there was someone not white in an alt-porn movie.

"[Punk aka alt] is like a white rebellion."

Luke: "What's been the critical reaction to Joanna's Angels?"

Joanna: "People seem to like it. I'm not the most professional director. I'm not an expert on sound and lighting and s--- like that."

Luke: "But are people getting the message you're trying to communicate?"

Joanna: "I don't think so."

Luke: "What was the message?"

Joanna: "People get bogged down in what the girls are supposed to look like as opposed to what the porn is supposed to be about. It's about doing what you want, not about how many tattoos a girl has had."

Luke: "It's about female empowerment."

Joanna: "Yes."

Luke: "It's feminism."

Joanna: "I think so."

Luke: "It seems obvious to me that that was the theme of Joanna's Angels."

Joanna: "People aren't getting it, but as long as it makes them think about something, that's all I care about. I don't think men understand anything about female empowerment. Unless you're name is Luke."

Luke: "I heart you. Have any feminists gotten in touch with you to talk about feminist [motifs in Joanna's work]?"

Joanna: "They used to when BurningAngel.com first started. Not since Rochelle Gurstein. I like to be challenged."

Luke: "I remember that from our first interviews until I fell under your spell."

Joanna: "Then you fell in love with me. Everybody falls in love with me and then they like what I do. I want people to question it. I'll send it to some Christian group and maybe something will happen."

Luke: "How much sex do you like to have a week?"

Joanna: "I don't really have sex when I'm in New York, so I like to have as much as I can when I'm out here. I collect it and take it home in a doggie bag."

Dana gets mad at Joanna for not letting her know that she's been talking to me for the past 20-minutes.

Dana: "Joanna is an amazing guest. She and [fellow porn star guest] Sabrina Sparks [little redhead in Joanna's Angels] both clean my house at night when they're cuddling."

Luke: "Is it when she's speeding that she does all this cleaning?"

Dana: "No. I don't allow drugs in my house. I've been a really good influence on Joanna. Cleaning is a residual thing from when she used to take drugs a lot."

Joanna laughs.

Luke: "It brings back good memories."

Dana: "It's just clean enough where I can find everything. Things are in piles.

"I've been taking Sabrina to work, to shoots. We've been sharing Sabrina responsibilities.

"Sabrina's adorable. One night we were sleeping on my bed and when I woke up, we were holding hands.

"The three of us did a photo shoot. It's really cute because Sabrina and Joanna are really small and I'm really big. I read on XXXporntalk that I'm actually a man. Myspace whores.

"I saw a picture of you on the internet in your underwear. You were so adorable. I've been researching you. You're like my Jules Jordan.

"Joanna used to stalk Jules Jordan. He invited us to go to a barbecue at his house. I couldn't take Joanna. She's a stalker."

Dana doesn't sing karaoke. "That's how I found out I really care about my boyfriend because I don't sing in the car around him. I don't sing around people I care about. I can have sex with a room full of people there. I know where my talents lie."

I conclude my chat with Joanna.

J: "Nobody wants to marry me."

L: "But they do want to have sex with you."

J: "They can't afford me. I guess I'm a princess. I'm a quality girl. I can cook and clean and give really good blowjobs. I just want somebody to buy me s---."

L: "And you're naturally monogamous."

J: "Aside from work, I'm devoted."

12/22/05

It's been two months since we've spoken. I've felt like the magic has gone out of our relationship.

I call Joanna (nominated for AVN's Best New Starlet award) Thursday afternoon to try to rekindle our fire, to mend the broken vessels of pornography, and hasten the Redemption (when men will no longer need to wank themselves and the lion will lie down with the lamb).

To improve my odds of forming a special connection, I decide midway through our conversation to award her the "Most Appearances On Lukeisback" trophy.

Luke: "Long time, no chat."

Joanna: "I know. Did you miss me?"

Luke: "I did. I wondered what happened to my little girl."

Joanna: "We shot Joanna's Angels 2 [in Brooklyn, starring Joanna, Charlotte Stokely, James Deen and Mr Marcus]."

Luke: "Did you fulfill your artistic vision?"

Joanna: "I did. My artistic visions are turning out to be expensive. I didn't make anything. I just had enough [money] to make the movie."

Luke: "How's your movie selling?"

Joanna: "I don't know. I've heard all the charts lie.

"My script for Angels 2 was 30 pages long. Many of the actors complained there was too much dialogue.

"I got to make-out with the prettiest girl in the world -- Charlotte Stokely. She stayed with me."

Luke: "Did you use Dana [DeArmond] in your movie?"

Joanna: "I did."

Luke: "What does she do?"

Joanna: "She puts it in her butt. She doesn't really do boy-girl but she did it for me. Am I dangerous?"

Luke: "Yeah."

Joanna: "She played the president's daughter. Mr Marcus was the president.

"There were seven girls in the movie and three guys. James Deen played my boyfriend and a secret service agent. Then he dumped me in the movie for Charlotte. I cried. I used Visine. Then Charlotte and I decided we were going to share him.

"I had [double penetration] from James Deen and Mr Marcus."

Luke: "Did it make you feel like a dirty little whore?"

Joanna: "Yes. I like that. Don't you?"

Luke: "I treat women like that [in certain bedroom situations] when they implore me to."

Joanna: "Maybe you just need some attention."

Luke: "I was with a woman who implored me, 'F--- me like a whore.' It made me very excited. I've never heard that from a woman. None of my civilian friends have either."

Joanna: "Don't you ever watch pornography?"

Luke: "No. And pornography is not real life."

Joanna: "You loved every minute of ------- her like a whore."

Luke: "I did [but deep down inside, I can't help but feel that it was wrong as it did not take place within the context of holy matrimony]. I don't want to objectify or degrade women. She wanted me to pull her hair and bite her and choke her and slap her. I can't do that."

Joanna: "It's just a role-playing game. Everybody's happy in the end."

Luke: "I'm confused."

Joanna: "You want to call everyone a dirty little whore?"

Luke: "No. I just want to treat this one special woman like a whore [when she wants me to]."

Joanna: "That's beautiful. I think I've been waiting my whole life for that one guy to say to me, 'I just want to call you a dirty little whore. Nobody else.'"

Luke: "Now I'm addicted. It's so much fun. She's ruined me for other women. I'm going through sex withdrawals. [The flesh, the smell, the pheremones, her, it, everything.]"

Joanna: "You're going a little psycho. Maybe you should get a hooker."

Luke: "I would never allow myself to do that. That's a boundary I've set."

Joanna: "There are other girls out there who will let you call them dirty whores.

"You don't want to purchase a woman, but you want to own one. That's wrong. Until you stop caring, you're not going to find anyone else. That's why people watch porn."

Luke: "I'm feeling emotionally turbulent. I need to take my lithium. Where is it? There. OK. Ahh, that's better."

Joanna: "What's going on with you? Everyone I know has been feeling crazy lately, except for me, and I always feel crazy. I've been happy for a month. Is that ok? Is that going to ruin my image? I like being by myself. I have a lot of good things going for me. I got my hair done. I've got a new kind of French manicure I invented.

"I turn 25 on December 25. My car insurance is about to go down. Are you on MySpace?"

Luke: "Yes."

Joanna: "Are you my friend?"

Luke: "No. I don't have any porn friends. The 16-year old daughter of a friend found my MySpace profile and after that I erased any friend with a porn connection.

"There you are on MySpace."

Joanna: "That's my ass."

Luke: "How can I show you mine?"

Joanna: "Just ask me to be your friend."

Luke: "You've got a provocative picture on your's. I can't."

Joanna: "You've got some weird issues.

"I'm going to buy some alcohol and have a party tonight with two friends."

Luke: "Have you ever asked a guy to f--- you like a whore?"

Joanna: "All the time. If I don't say that, then it is implied. That's how I like it. That's how most girls like it."

Luke: "I've never encountered it."

Joanna: "They probably didn't know it yet."

Luke: "Now that you're 25, do you feel maternal towards the younger girls?"

Joanna: "I'm not really like that. I remember talking to this girl. She said her agent would be angry if she turned down some scene. That makes me upset. Some girls overwork themselves because they're scared of someone. I have the opposite problem. I just don't care about anyone or anything. I'll make really bad decisions, but at least they're my decisions."

Luke: "Do you have any drama?"

Joanna: "I always have drama, but I don't feel like talking about it now. I'm in a good mood. Maybe being in a good mood makes for a boring interview."

Luke: "Have you done [private sex] for pay recently?"

Joanna: "No. I used to have people offer to pay when I was a stripper. Maybe I should put myself back on the market."

Luke: "What have been the results of appearing in Carly Milne's book Naked Ambition?"

Joanna: "Nothing. I've got $75 now. I don't know if anyone's buying it. I get more attention from the picture of my ass on MySpace then from my essay in that book."

Luke: "Male priorities are misplaced."

Joanna: "But I'm really proud of it. It gives me something to talk about with my family at Thanksgiving. But I feel like a liar. I thought Jenna Jameson was going to be in the book. I kept telling people I was going to be in a book with Jenna Jameson. The book came out and she wasn't in it. Maybe if she was in it, more people would've read it, and more people would've seen my essay than my picture of my ass on MySpace.

"You know I'm not going to win for Best New Starlet. If there was an award for most appearances on lukeisback.com, I'd win that. I'd have that one in the bag. Unfortunately, there's not."

1/26/06

Joanna Angel - As Long As I Have A Website, She'll Have A Home

I call her Thursday night and leave her this message: "Hey, you probably don't want to talk to me anymore now that you're a big VCA contract girl and you had that 30-foot poster at the AVN show and you were such a sensation and you had that documentary film crew following you around. You probably don't even remember who I am. But if there is still a tiny part of you that remembers what we had, and if I still mean something to you, if you just call me for old time's sake, just to reminisce and to remember the way we were and how things could've been, then please call me."

An hour later, Joanna phones. "You sound like my mom," she says.

"Trying to guilt you into calling?" I ask.

"Hmm. It's a Jewish trick.

"I'm not too famous for you. It's all a big scam. It's not like when I walk down the street anyone knows who I am. Only on lukeisback does anyone know who I am."

"I am your true home."

"I know. It couldn't have happened without you.

"I've been on lukeisback more than any other porn star. I've been on there more than you have."

"I talk to you more than I talk to myself."

"Are you over your ex-girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Have you found another girl that you can call a whore?"

"No, but I got laid a lot in Vegas."

"Did you take photos of it and put it on your website?"

"No. I'm not into photographing sex."

"That's very nice of you. You could've sold it to Red Light District for a lot of money. You were like a porn star. That's good. I didn't do that during the convention. I was too busy working. It's hard. You don't get laid too often when you're famous. Nobody wants to have sex with someone famous. They want your autograph.

"I remember when I went to Texas for this feature dancing thing. I went with two friends (a photographer and another girl). At one point during the night, I needed to leave my booth, but I couldn't because both of my friends were having sex. One friend was in the parking lot having sex with some guy and the other friend was in the bathroom having sex. I couldn't have sex with anyone. The guy who was hitting on my friend came up to me and asked for my autograph. He was too nervous to talk to me. But he wasn't too nervous to talk to her.

"They went home happy.

"It's not all glamorous up here."

"How was the convention for you?"

"I had to sign the whole time. It was exhausting. I had to be in make-up at 6:30am. I didn't get to have much playtime. I stayed for an extra day and I lost $200 in five minutes."

"Has your VCA contract changed who you are?"

Joanna laughs. "No. How does a contract do that?"

"Does it swell your sense of importance?"

"Really? Is that what usually happens?"

"Yeah. Have you dumped a bunch of friends lately?"

"I don't have that many friends to begin with."

"You have a friend in Luke."

"I didn't dump you. That's all that really matters. I haven't called my mom back, but I usually don't call her back. I haven't dumped any friends. I'm still driving the same car. I'm still wearing the same clothes. I'm still living in the same house. I'm sitting at home in New York editing Joanna's Angels 2."

"What happened last night? Did Eon and Malachai kick Bad Ass Frank's ass?"

"I don't know."

"Eon [and Frank] told me to talk to you [to get the story].

"I'm sorry. I have to check this call. Please hang on."

I take another call for 15 seconds then click back to Joanna. "I'm sorry."

"I was going to hang up the phone. Contract stars usually don't sit on hold."

"It was only because I had a date scheduled but the girl didn't return my email today, so I wasn't sure if she was blowing me off. I guess she has."

"You are like a changed man. You followed my advice."

"I got my mojo back."

"I wish I knew who all these girls were. Porno girl?"

"The one in Vegas was an ex-porn girl turned webmaster."

"Have I fallen in your eyes because I slept with an ex-porn girl?"

"No. You can have sex with everyone. Unless you had sex with an animal or non-consensually or your little sister, then I'd lose respect for you. Other than that, you're free to bang anyone."

"But what if I used my position as a porn journalist to cop a seedy blowjob?"

"I think most people do that. Don't they?"

"I'd like to think so."

"It's OK. Good luck. I hope you get one from every girl in the industry."

"You wouldn't lose respect for me if I used my position as a journalist to advance my sexual interests?"

"No. I would have more respect for you."

"I find that a hot scenario."

"I've done that. I remember one time I only interviewed this band because I wanted to have sex with someone in it (Nick from Eighteen Visions). And then I never even did the interview. I just had the sex.

"The guy I run my website with got angry at me because I told him I was going to interview them and I came home without the interview. So I had to make sure I got the interview a month later. Then I had a hard time talking to him because he'd already gotten what he wanted from me. He didn't want to talk to me that much."

"How do guys normally treat you after sex in the real world?"

"There's something weird with most guys. There's something inside of guys that once you have sex with them [on the first date or two], they simply lose respect for you. They lose interest. I can't figure it out because girls gain interest in a guy once they have sex. There are guys I've had sex with who afterwards they wanted to talk to me and I didn't want to talk to them. Things just get weird. I had this friend for a long time. Then we had sex. I didn't want to talk to him for a few weeks. It felt weird.

"My friends used to tell me to hold out. If you don't have sex with a guy for a little while, he'll like you more. For some reason, that always works. I really hate that because I don't like holding out. I like to do it right away. I think it's important. So it's a problem. There need to be more men out there who respect girls who have sex with them the first time they meet them."

"Have you had sex with Malachai Ecks?"

"No. He slept in the same bed as me. He spooned me without asking permission. He just went to sleep. He didn't even try anything. Maybe that's because I'm not attractive."

"Are Malachai and Eon interested in girls in that way?"

"Yes, they are. Eon has a girlfriend. Malachai used to have a girlfriend. They're all really polite."

"How's your relationship with your mother?"

"I feel bad. I haven't called her in so long. She keeps calling me."

"Do you think it is time for me to meet your father?"

"I think you should meet my father. Maybe when I go home, I'll call you so you can talk to him. He's a little upset at me because I'm behind on bills. Every time I go away to California, these bills come in the mail and I forget to pay them. Sometimes my dad gets notices when I don't pay parking tickets.

"I was broke at one point last year and I borrowed a few thousand dollars from my dad. I still owe it to him."

"Maybe if you do an extra anal scene, you can pay him back."

"True. But I'd rather keep the money than pay him back."

"You could say on camera, 'Dad, I'm doing this for you. To pay you back the money I owe.'"

"I don't want to do an extra anal scene and then have to give it to my dad. I want to go shopping with that money, buy a handbag, get a new tattoo."

"You need more tattoos."

"I do. Vince Voyeur shot me last time I was in California. He said, 'Joanna, I think it is cute that you have tattoos, but I think that you have too many. You can't get anymore.' Just because he said that, I'm going to get more. I want to cover most of the space on my body so I can't see any of it. I want to look down and not see any skin. I just want to see ink. Do you think that's weird?"

"I think it is perverse."

She giggles. "That's what I want."

"Do you ever cut yourself?"

"No. I did when I was in seventh grade."

"Do you drink your blood?"

"No. I didn't even get to the point where there was any blood. I've always been a pussy about that stuff. I didn't even get there. So I just swallowed a bunch of pills instead and fell asleep. I was twelve years old and not happy with my life. I just woke up the next morning. It didn't really work."

"You haven't cut yourself in the last few years?"

"It hurts. I'm not into that stuff.

"Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?"

"No. I've had two first-dates cancel on me in a week."

"Maybe if you had a more exciting MySpace profile. It amazes me that you get any dates at all.

"You know that stuff that makes the bathroom smell good? I had one. Somehow it disappeared. I don't know who took it. Those people coming in and out of here."

"I've got to call this person back."

"Go do it. I'm not too famous for you. Now you're too famous for me, Mr. I-Have-To-Call-Someone-Back. You must be a contract star. I guess I'll be seeing you on set."

"I'd like to work with you."

3/3/06

I call her at noon EST. She sounds mellow. She's sitting alone in a room and drinking red wine.

Joanna: "I'm reading Disco Bloodbath: A Fabulous But True Tale of Murder in Clubland. It's making my life exciting. It's about New York City in the late nineties when everybody dressed like a club kid. People would go to clubs dressed like peacocks and put dots on their faces and sequins. I'm going to start dressing like that. I'm just going to wear a feather on my head and a thong.

"I've been, I don't want to say depressed, but where you want to keep to yourself.

"Reading the book, I feel like there are all these exciting things going on.

"I don't really do drugs anymore. Reading that book makes me feel like I am on drugs again. That's pretty exciting. It takes me to a different place. It makes me feel like I'm at a party."

Luke: "What about going to synagogue? Isn't that like doing drugs?"

Joanna: "It's kinda like it. I haven't been to synagogue in a long time. They probably won't even let me in there anymore.

"I used to go on Yom Kippur, but then I had to cut that out because everybody there makes me feel weird.

"When you're little at a synagogue, you have a crew of people you hang out with and you sit in the bathroom and try to keep out of services and you all eat lunch at someone's house afterwards and your parents are friends... All those people in my synagogue crew got married and had babies. Every time I'd go, they'd all look at me as though I was some monster. 'God, she was the weird one out of all of us. Look at what happened to her.' That made me uncomfortable. Then it would make my mom depressed that everyone from my crew was married, and had babies, and was overweight, and wearing wigs and long clothes. She wanted me to be like that.

"I got interviewed by a few people [at Tristan Taormino's party Sunday night]. I got interviewed by some guy from the New York Press who at the end of the interview said to me, 'I really want to be in one of your movies.' It made me feel funny. I was like, 'Well, uhh, I don't know.' I was thinking, 'If I don't say yes, does that mean he won't print the interview?'

"It was a strange moment. I would change the subject and it would go back there somehow."

Luke: "He kept bringing it up?"

Joanna: "Yeah."

Luke: "Who else interviewed you?"

Joanna: "I don't remember names. Is that bad of me? The only journalist I remember is Luke.

"I'm drinking alcohol in the afternoon. Is that bad? Red wine, so it doesn't really count. I went into the other room. I didn't want anyone to see me."

Luke: "How often do you do this?"

Joanna: "Whenever I feel like it."

Luke: "It's time for an intervention."

Joanna: "How are you going to intervene when you're on the other side of the country?"

Luke: "I'll call for volunteers on lukeisback."

Joanna: "Over my one glass of wine?"

Luke: "You've been drinking a lot. I'm gonna call your parents."

Joanna: "Please don't. My mom will go nuts."

Luke: "I want to encircle you with people who care about you and say, 'Joanna, we think it is time you stop drinking and stop doing porn and stop getting tattoos.'

Joanna: "My family saw my first two tattoos but they don't know how many more I've gotten in the past year. We were all supposed to go to Costa Rica together and I told them I couldn't go because I didn't want them to see me in a bathing suit. I know my mom's going to freak when she sees all my new ones. I told her after I had two that I was going to stop. I don't like it when my mom gets upset. She's really emotional."

Luke: "Has anyone been groping you?"

Joanna: "No. Maybe I don't have the same charm that I used to."

Luke: "How do you feel about growing old?"

Joanna, 24: "I'm not old. If I start to look ugly, I'll get plastic surgery, though that usually doesn't help.

"I have to go to Texas for a week for the South-by-Southwest film festival. I have to speak on this panel on building buzz."

Luke: "You just have to say my name."

Joanna: "Exactly. I don't know why they asked me to speak. Also on the panel is the guy who started Nerve. I interned for Nerve during college. That's where I got the idea for Burning Angel. The owner used to treat me like an intern. He made me run around and do stupid s--- and he'd look down my shirt. Now I have to sit next to him and talk about buzz-building. And the guy who started Paypal.

"On Friday, VCA and I are throwing this big party for Joanna's Angels 2."

Luke: "What a crazy world we live in. What a great country this is where Joanna Angel can be on the same panel as the founder of Paypal and talk about buzz-building."

Joanna: "I might be writing a column. We could sit up late at night and brainstorm together."

Luke: "It'd be like Sex in the City."

Joanna: "With no sex.

"Do you really think I am the best looking girl on Burning Angel?"

Luke: "Definitely."

Joanna: "Most people think Kylie is."

Luke: "She doesn't hold a candle to you.

"You've got a really large vagina."

Joanna: "I thought you didn't look at porn?"

Luke: "I don't. Somebody told me."

Joanna: "Who?"

Luke: "Holly."

Joanna: "She was probably looking at it in a matter-of-fact way.

"I've never seen Holly's vagina. It must be really small and compact."

11/15/06

Joanna Angel's Mom

From Jewcy.com:

Joanna’s Mom: When she was in college, Joanna was out of control. I first realized how bad it was when I was in her apartment during Passover and I saw all these pictures and they made me sick. I’m not sure why she is so proud of what she is doing. She was profiled by The New York Times and she was so proud of it. I don’t know why.

...Once is enough to make you slide down to the bottom. She kept on doing it because she told us that she was making a lot of money. She was out of control at this point. And all the psychologists and therapists that we invested in were helpless. I tried everything. All those people with their degrees are garbage. They couldn’t do anything. It just got worse and worse and no one could help.

A reader to Jewcy.com posts: "Give me a break, puh-leeze! The Jewish Girl who can take 5 cocks up her ass at once...what a talent!!! All the "hip" Jewish rags are astounded with Ms. Angel's skillz...aren't there other Jewish women, you could be profiling, who are doing worthwhile things or does the art of a rim job top any achievements Jewish women have ever obtained. Thanks for keeping us down!"

Further:

Joanna Angel: [Laughs] I was doing tashlich on Yom Kippur and I raised my hand to throw bread into the water. And she was like, Oh my God. What is that? I was going to tell her but I didn’t want her to be upset.

Joanna Angel: I don’t like pissing off my mom. I used to like it when I was little. And the only time I really thought that if my mom could see me, she would cry—and this is going to sound really fucked up—is when I did my first porno with a black guy. I was thinking, this right here is my mother’s worst nightmare. This is not what a nice Jewish mom wants her daughter to do.

April 4, 2007

I call her in New York Wednesday.

Joanna: "I had Passover with my family last night in New Jersey."

Luke: "And with Brian Gross."

Joanna: "Brian flew to New York just to come to my seder. He is Jewish. My mom doesn't like non-Jews come to the seder. She says non-Jews can come over for dinner whenever they want but not for the seder. She doesn't even want half-Jews.

"Another girl was there, JoJo, she works in the Burning Angel office. My sisters could not make it."

"We did the whole seder in Hebrew. Brian Gross even read some Hebrew. My mom helped him."

Luke: "Did you drink four cups of wine?"

Joanna: "I had a lot more than four."

Luke: "Who read the four questions?"

Joanna: "I did because my little sister was not there. My mom was drunk. She started asking Brian, 'Why is Joanna doing this for a living?' Brian felt awkward. Then we just changed the subject. She said, 'Why does she put on these sex shows? I don't understand.' She always calls pornos 'sex shows' or 'sex movies.'

"My dad felt awkward too, so he just changed the subject."

"We went till 1:30 in the morning. We don't skip things. We read the whole haggadah. As there were two people there who didn't know exactly what was going on (Brian and JoJo), my mom had to stop and explain things."

Luke: "What did you do for the first seder?"

Joanna: "My parents don't know that I didn't really do anything. According to them, I went to my friend's house."

Luke: "Did you clean your apartment for Passover?"

Joanna: "No."

Luke: "Are you going to eat bread?"

Joanna: "I don't want to. Last year I broke it and I felt bad."

"Brian took a photo of the seder and my mom said, 'Don't put that in the press!' "I was like, 'Mom, this is my publicist.' She doesn't understand what a publicist is. She's like, 'A publisher?' She kept calling him, 'Joanna's publisher.' She said, 'Why do you need a publisher? Are you writing a book?'"

September 10, 2007

I call Joanna Angel Monday afternoon.

Luke: "When are you going to squeeze out a baby?"

Joanna: "That's terrible. I don't want to even think about that."

"I've been on birth control for a long time."

Luke: "Stop and replenish the Jewish people."

Joanna: "My mom wants me to have a baby. She tried to tell me I should go off birth control so somebody could get me pregnant."

Luke: "It's probably a good idea. Get you out of the industry."

Joanna: "I thought your mom was supposed to tell you not to do those types of things."

Luke: "You're an exception. You'd be one case where the parents would be relieved that their daughter got pregnant outside of wedlock."

Joanna: "I can barely remember to take the garbage out on time. I don't think I could handle the responsibility of having a kid.

"I don't know what I would do with a kid. It wouldn't make any sense in my life. What would I do with it? Where would I keep it?"

Luke: "You're feeling better?"

Joanna: "I was just hungover. It was pretty bad. I drank a lot on Saturday, not for any good reason. I was bored and I wasn't tired."

Sept. 19, 2007

I call Joanna Wednesday morning.

Joanna: "You always have such an energetic voice when I pick up the phone. I like it."

Luke: "I'm excited to talk to you."

"Most people say I sound depressed on the phone."

"You looked good [Saturday night at the Erotic Film Festival] after all the sex and drugs."

Joanna: "I've cleaned up. Probably have less sex than most porn stars."

"I used to always like sex rough. Now it depends on my mood."

Luke: "What do you like to talk about when you're having sex?"

Joanna: "Politics. Philosophy. Religion."

Luke: "How is sex with you in private different from on-camera?"

Joanna: "Not much different. Just longer. Some positions I don't do. Not as much anal."

Luke: "Do you have a "Joanna Angel" personality that you snap in and out of?"

Joanna: "No. Joanna Angel is pretty close to who I am."

"Are you a completely different person at times?"

Luke: "Yeah."

Joanna: "That's creepy. I don't think i could trust a person like that. Maybe you're like a con artist."

Luke: "You don't think you can trust me?"

Joanna: "Not if you're one of those people. That means I only know one side of you."

"Are you going to fast [on Yom Kippur]?"

Luke: "Yes."

Joanna: "I don't know where I'm going to spend it. My family is not around. My [younger] sister is working as a cantor at a Reform temple."

"I'm proud of myself. I have to do this signing at a tattoo convention this weekend in New York. I cancelled Saturday when I realized it was Yom Kippur and will sign instead on Sunday."

"I figured that the last thing you are supposed to do on Yom Kippur is go to a tattoo convention and sign posters of yourself that people buy because they've seen you get penetrated on camera.

"I'm not going to keep everything. I'll probably turn the lights on and off and drive and do all sorts of stuff."

Luke: "Did you tell them that you are rescheduling because of Yom Kippur?"

Joanna: "No. I don't think you tell big guys with tattoos that."

Joanna says she's never encountered anti-Semitism. Neither have I.

Luke: "I have walked out of Jewish events to find screaming anti-Israel, pro-Palestinian protesters waving bloody signs seeking the destruction of Isreal."

Joanna: "But that's political."

"I don't see anti-semitic people here. People in porn are open-minded. They're not anti-semitic or racist or anything. If you're in porn, you can't be like that because you're at a level in society that people look down upon."

"My mom thinks people are anti-Semitic when they're really not. I remember when I went to a public school and they tried to get me to do some Christmas tree thing in second grade and she told me they were anti-Semitic. I remember I came home and she convinced me that they were all anti-Semitic."

Joanna went to temple for Rosh Hashanah.

Luke: "Did anyone say, 'I respect your work'?"

Joanna: "No."

"A few people talked to me but I felt weird. I didn't really want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to go so I could feel like I did what I needed to do."

Luke: How does your sister feel about you being a porn star?

Joanna: "She thinks it's funny. She's had boyfriends and stuff that knew who I was. Sometimes when she's home she asks me for things to bring home to her friends. DVDs and posters."

Luke: "Does she look like you?"

Joanna: "A little. She's bigger. Taller. She has darker skin."

Luke: "Have you tried to get her into the industry?"

Joanna: "No. I would never do that. That's the last thing I'd want."

"I spoke on a panel with John Stagliano and Andrew Blake [at the Erotic Film Festival]. It was awesome."

"I like speaking on panels. But I was nervous. I did drink a lot of Bloody Marys before I went on. The bartender, when he came in, I said, 'Can I have a drink?' He said, 'I'm not even open yet.' I made him open."

Luke: "I've talked to you when you were drunk. I can't tell any difference."

Joanna: "I'm not one of those people who acts that different."

Luke: "Have a meaningful Yom Kippur."

Joanna: "You too. Bye."