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Friday, December 30, 2005

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New Year's Makes People Horny

Women are particularly prone to hooking up at this time. Slights are forgotten and connections are sought.

Kris writes on JBM: "Alcohol and the idea of starting new and fresh. All the whores you banged the previous year are wiped away."

I stopped by Holly's house Friday morning to return some DVDs and a book. I asked to use the upstair's bathroom because (1) I needed to, and (2) I was curious if my toothbrush was still there or if another had replaced it.

My toothbrush was still there.

Danni Ashe Has Retired To Montana

She lives there with her husband. Danni.com and her various internet operations run without their direct control.

Hollywood Mafia Update

Kenny Gallo writes:

I sold cocaine for years. I also transported it all over. Hawaii being one of my stops. I also was a theif, which I liked. I never wanted to be anything. I just wanted to make money and have fun. Girls and cash. Travel... Porn was fun because its for freaks and misfits. I was just killing time, so I could write about it all later. I was down in Mexico and other places in South America. Tough guys were dying all the time. I made it. My pals were blown away in the OC and I am still alive. I was around Mike Marvitch who was the BIGGEST in the OC and I am still here.

The Antman [Tony Spilotro]. He was a smart little killer. He was on the streets of Chicago with the worst of them and he made it there before heading west to Las Vegas. The winters are better the Chicago. Joe Batters made his winter home in Palm Springs at Indian Wells Country Club, Right on Road Runner drive. Those were two men. Joe Batters was the man for decades in Chicago. Like at what we have now. Crap. The Antman was the man in Las Vegas. He also oversaw the Outfits interests in Los Angeles and San Diego. They had guys in San Diego like Chris Petti who worked with the Outfit and the LA Family. They had Joey Hanson who was in Marina Del Ray. What about the Labor Lawyer Sidney Korshak. Mike Rizzi and the Animal were going to grab him, Chicago stepped in and they backed off. They were asked not told. Then we have a man I will talk about later. Jack Catain. This guy made millions on various scams and as a Shylock. He had a hook in a bank. Jack would run to Jack Cerone in Chicago when he had problems. He also ran to Jimmy Caci. Ahhh Carpet cleaning...Jack Catain even used the now boss of the New England Family as hired muscle. MR. Cheese wheel... Mike Rizzi and the Animal would head over to Las Vegas to see the Antman, who would turn them on to jobs in California.

Kenny Gallo writes:

Yeah I was married to Tabitha Stevens. Look at her with fish hooks in her back on TV. I am glad I am past that! Yeah, I went out with Amber Lynn and yes she held me hostage with a gun. Hey it is not my job to take a pistol away from some cracked out chick... Plus I was on paper then and that would have been the end of me. Then we have the Las Vegas case Operation Thin Crust and Button Down. Yes I was on the Indictment...I also remember reporting for three years after that. That was in 1997... John Bronco, thank you very much..... Jimmy Caci got me a Lexus in 2003 at the dealership.

Did you know about John Mash's two sons? They are with a Gambino crew that operated in Conn. with some New England family members. They were caught up in RICO case with The genius. Joseph Mascia and John JR AKA John Mash were with Ignazio "Iggy" Alogna a Gambino Capo. The three of them contacted an owner of some night clubs in the area and tried to strong arm him into paying protection money. The FBI was all over the scheme from the start so they were all taken down. Iggy was the guy who wanted someone to speak to the Prince of Porn Rob Black about his duplication bill.

My pal Ori Spado tried to get involved with that whole mess. One night I had dinner with Ori and Jimmy at Carmine's 2 on Santa Monica, Tabitha Stevens was there with me. Jimmy went back to Ori's place and sometime later I got a call from Ori. He kept saying its not my fault... He then told me that the LAPD had come to his place and arrested Jimmy for extortion. The extortion was actually done by Ori, he had tried to collect on a debt owed to a well known auctioneer. That went to shit, so Jimmy stopped Ori from being killed. It seems that Ori went down stairs and opened the door so the LAPD could come up and bust Jimmy. Jimmy later called me from MCC LA and told me where he had a mini cassette hidden. That mini cassette is Ori speaking to the FBI and you can hear it on the audio page on the website.

I remember one time I was down in Palm Springs at this bar/lounge Club340 Fat Tony's place. Jimmy, Ori and Tabitha were there and Little Louie Caruso walks in he was with HIS pal John Bronco. Jimmy didn't want to have anything to do with that whole mess. It was funny because a year before little Louie hated John Bronco at the Sportsmens Lodge.

Amalek: 'Do this, and I promise you that you will be bringing in the New Year deep inside a moaning Holly Randall'

"WITH her parents' blessing! I've got it all worked out. And will post instructions for you later in the day. Post all this on your web sites. I want Holly to know what's coming her way, so she can prepare herself for you. Remember, the ring should cost three months pay. What's that come out to for you these day?"

Six thousand dollars.

"F--- that. $2,000 tops. But with an IOU to repay her in children.

"I just wish I could be there to see the love in her eyes for you tomorrow night as you use my arguments to win over her dad, the Boer. The key to understanding Holly's family, especially her father "Humphrey", is this: they are the scattered remnants of a defeated tribe - White South Africans - who themselves belong to a race that is losing the race for global dominance. You can appeal to him with strict, Jobotinsky-style arguments developed for Zionism, but applied to the current needs of the White Race. This will bring tears to his eyes, as he sees within you the man his people needed, but never could produce. And make him know that the choice for his daughter is either you, with your sturdy Aussie genes, or who knows? A Mexican? An arab with two other wives who is looking for a third? Or a geometry altering shvartze?

"He will embrace you in a bear hug and welcome you to the fold. Suzie might have a smart thing or two to say otherwise, but Humphrey will shoot her a look that says, "Woman, you WILL respect my judgment in these matters. Luke is going to be our Son in law."

"You will all owe me so much."

Courtnney Simpson's Scandal Aired on Phoenix News

Cave Dweller writes on ADT:

It is funny how ASU is trying to be so hush-hush about why Courtney was kicked off the squad. The reason is that Courtney was doing porn while still on the squad. ASU stated that Courtney left the squad in February 2005. This is after Courtney's debut on amateurallure. Check out the date on the sample image and notice that the text even states that she is a cheerleader. This set launched in November 2004. This set launched in December 2004.

Lou Sapphire writes: "And we know the guy who fired her, doesnt have any jpgs of her saved on his hardrive."

Checkraising replies: "It wasn't a guy, it was Coach Vanessa Napoleon who kicked her off the team."

Get Well Soon, Mandy Taylor

Da Burglar writes on XPT:

I chatted with Mandy Taylor on Yahoo Messenger. The sassy, popular XPT Porn chick has wrecked her middle finger on her writing hand and is currently laid up, unable to do her popular webcam-show business, much to the chagrin of horny men around the world.

Mandy tells me: "I have to have surgery on my finger, I tore a tendon on the knuckle, if i dont have the surgery i wont have use of my finger. My luck gets fricken better all the time...!"

I offer consolingly "Babe, I am so sorry....what is the prognosis / plan?"

Mandy: "Surgery. This sucks, I went to my follow up today, thinking "whoopeee", they will say a few weeks and I will be good to go but they are sending me to Frator (spelling)? which is a major hospital in Wisconsin, the best for a hand specialist

Me: "...yeah I've heard of it actually...."

Mandy: "Its the hand i write with and all...this sucks..."

Da Burglar has a moment of silence for Mandy's Distressed Digit. Mandy is a popular webcam performer so there no doubt are many frustrated men at home right now in sexual distress because of mandy's injured finger. I Pause and reflect on how this seemingly small event/happening could have wide spread ramifications. Because of Mandy's injury, she cannot perform on webcam, which means some of her clients will be unable to masturbate and relieve themselves in their customary fashion. Most of these clients will no doubt find other ways to releive themselves of their DSB (Dangerous Sperm Buildup), but its possible that one or two of her clients might actually decide to have real sex with their mates/partners instead of selfishly jerking off on webcam to Mandy's comely personage. It is possible that, tonight, a child will be conceived, somewhere, all because XPT's own Mandy Taylor tore up her middle finger.

Lisa Ann: Will she or won't she?

Axel Braun writes: "Lisa Ann is the girlfriend of my brother-in-law Jason (Belladonna's brother), and she was at my wedding. Jason was my best man. She did shoot a comeback scene three weeks ago, and looks better than she did in the 90's."

Mike Curran writes me:

I have recently seen a few items scattered around the net that may point to a comeback for 90's star Lisa Ann. I read about her new position as an agent for LA Direct Models, and then read a chunk of gossip about her supposedly getting tested (are porn performers regularly HIV tested for doing work?) for a "return" to doing hardcore, not to mention a recent note on Suze Randalls's website announcing that Lisa Ann would be filming a new hardcore scene exclusively for that website.

If this is the case, she still has a huge fanbase and many people (myself included) would be screaming for her to return to the biz. There are many fans who remember her now legendary flicks (Wicked Web, Entangled, Ultimate Fantasy--I could go on and on and...) and her truly astounding bod (and halfway descent acting abilities, not to mention that smile).

Based on your past articles, you seem to have a good rapport with her. Might you have any scrap of inside info about her possibly returning, or could you perhaps corner her, get her drunk, and get her to spill the beans about what she's been up to. Any scrap of info would be appreciated, though I know you would probably break this news if it were really true and a done deal. There are still a lot of people who think she was one of the hottest women to ever do adult movies (does she still have the bod and the skillz? Do I care about how old she is? Hell no!).

And if you contact her, let her know that if she decides to return and show these young kids how this stuff should be done, I and many more like me will welcome her back as the superstar she was, and hopefully will be again. Thanks and take care,

Mike Curran
Certified Lisa Ann fan from back in the day 1994-1996 (The Glory Years).

P.S.-I have never been a huge fan of porn, but I am a huge Lisa Ann fan. Her return would rank up there with a Led Zeppelin reunion or new Shakespeare play being discovered.

P.S.S.-Maybe she would now do dp's, but even if she didn't, that would be fine by me. Yep, I need a life, stat.

AVN’s first book is now in stores, and on Amazon.com

The link to Amazon gives the false impression that Tim Connelly is solely responsible for the book, though the credits on the book themselves read: “Edited by Mike Ramone and Tim Connelly with Peter Stokes and Acme Andersson.”

Connelly's girlfriend for two years was Jennifer Osborne, co-author of The Other Hollywood. Tim gave the project enormous assistance and big press in AVN. When Jen was done with Tim's assistance, she dumped him.

They were both drug users, but after the break-up, Tim's drug-dependence seemed to get worse. But Tim does not believe in rehab. He believes in meditation. That's what keeps him such a calm, centered and giving person even through times of adversity.

Even in the middle of his own drug problems, Tim was able (through the power of meditation) to overcome his own demons long enough to play the drums for the Not the Ramone's benefit concert for AIM's detox program.

Tim was too much of a man to avail himself of AIM's detox program. He doesn't need to. He can just meditate and the demons go away. Even during times of adversity.

Now that Tim is gone from AVN, there's an aching spiritual emptiness in the building. No moral leader has been able to step forward and fill his shoes and provide the type leadership Jesus exercises over the Galileee.

I don't think anyone ever will. There are some gaping literary holes that will never be filled. First Ernest Hemingway offed himself. Then the author of A Confederacy of Dunces. Now Connelly is gone from Chatsworth and I just don't want to live anymore in a world without Tim presiding at AVN.

Should I Whore Myself To Suze.net Or Become A Regular Ho?

Woman: I don't think you should cling to that tatters of your relationship with Holly. Its not healthy.
Luke: We're an integral part of a divine plan to bring redemption to the world. I can't turn my back on that. My thing with Holly is not for myself but for humanity. From our procreation, from our fornication, will come the Messiah.
Woman: Geez.. I didn't know the Randalls lived in Malibu.. They've made a load of money off of Suze.net. No wonder they don't monitor it much. They are just raking in cash
Luke: I had two Suze signups = $60. And Holly's bought me dinner for sending her so much traffic, about as many hits as protozoa I fired up her birth canal.
Woman: You could make much more than that as a male prostitute
Luke: how much do you think I could make?
Luke: How much would you pay to possess me sexually?
Woman: Well, are you open to pitching or receiving or are you versatile?
Luke: I will only do it with attractive young women.
Woman: Women wouldn't be your clients.. Men would be
Luke: How much would women pay to possess me sexually?
Woman: I don't know. I'm not sure if women would pay.. I've never heard much about male escorts for women
Woman: Maybe you could charge $150/hr
Woman: Do you want to do a documentary about your adventures as a male gigolo?
Luke: I could never do a doc connected to sex/porn. Too shameful.
Woman: You don't feel that there's a way that you could present it to people as 'your work' without being stigmatized
Woman: Look at those doctor's who wrote sex books... Masters and Johnson. They were looked on as pioneers.
Luke: perverts

Arab's Cry of Love for Jessica Darlin

Smiling Arab writes on the Monkey Cage:

Jessica,

Since I can't contact you through your site, I'll have to make this an open letter. A lot of time has passed since you outed yourself as a Proud White Woman (PWW). As is typical in this Judocracy, you were shamed, shunned, and humiliated for it. But some of us still remember the powerful manifesto of racial pride you authored. Just as no one knows more of disease than a doctor, no one could know more about fallacies of race-mixing than a white girl who had injested a Lake Tahoe worth of black semen.

But your desire to expose the Jew at all costs was derailed by your strange desire to speak to the blacks and tell them the truth of what their endless animal pounding had done to your fragile pink labial nerve endings. We know that the Jew uses the minorities to break the white people down. My only question is how the hell did you wind up a Christian--the bastard child of Jewishness, as Adolf and Dr. Pierce both called it? Christ, that's fucked. How fucking stupid is it to fight the GD Jews while worshipping one? Ask what a life of Christian Identity with their dual seedline ideology (for you lemmings, that Jews are the direct descendents of Satan, while Whites are the "real" Jews) has brought them outside of several convictions for pedophilia and child molestation and the derision of biological racists worldwide?

But, anyway... what I mean to say is that we have many viewpoints here in the Monkey Cage, most of them are wrong so yours won't stand out much. I would like you to start posting here, and make this place your home.

Meet The Parents

I meet Holly Randall's parents Saturday night at their annual New Year's Eve party (running for about eight years, the one year the Randalls were in South Africa, people showed up to their house anyway on New Year's).

I'm going to make the long drive to Brokeback Mountain to find their pornographic candle shining on the hill.

I'm not sure my van is going to make it to the top.

I call Holly at 3:30pm. "Some chick from Spanish Playboy wants to interview me. I didn't know Playboy had a Spanish edition.

"I told her I was in Best Buy now and shouldn't be answering her questions.

"I took the day off work to run errands.

"Of course you can come to the New Year's party."

Luke: "What if I get drunk and cause a scene?"

Holly: "Somehow, I don't think that will happen. I trust you."

Luke: "I'm not imposing myself on this."

Holly: "No. We've been having the party for years and it has gotten to the point where I don't invite anybody. Everybody knows and they just come. You can come."

Holly calls me back at 6:19pm Thursday and gives me elaborate directions.

Knowing that Holly's parents have heard for the past two months ten horrible things about me for every good thing, I ask: "Are you sure your parents are going to be ok with me coming?"

Holly: "Yes. I told them specifically that you were coming."

Luke: "I picture myself walking half-a-mile straight up your hill only to get punched out by your mom."

Holly: "She'll be perfectly charming. She said to me, 'Darling, I don't know him. I've heard bad things about him but who knows if they are true. If you like him, that's enough for me.'

"My dad said something interesting to me the other night. I had mentioned your name a while ago and he'd made no indication that he knew you. Then, the other night he said, 'Holly, I know all about him. I knew all about him before you ever heard of him.'"

The last time Holly threw a party, she really threw a party. I mean she got drunk and put on a live sex show with another girl while a couple of pervy males watched. If I walk into a room and see that this time, I may go Boogie Nights 1980.

Hands off Holly's vagina, folks.

The Hustler Tattler writes: "I hope you go, that sounds like it could be a riot! Please write about it, the only thing better would be New Years at Bruce David's."

AVN Awards

Steamed writes: "Look at what an unprofessional job AVN is doing with distributing AVN Awards tickets that have been paid for ($250 a pop). They still have not sent them all out. I ordered mine on December 14th, called them on Dec 22nd to ask,'Where is my ticket?', and was told by a harried sounding woman that it was 'pandemonium here and I'm totally behind.' Furthermore, why aren't they sending out tracking numbers so that people know that their $250 tickets are in transit?"

There are 4,000 seats. About 750 are given away to porn stars and media.

From Sharter at AVN.com, Dec 29:

Your 2006 AVN Awards ticket order has successfully been processed. You should receive your ticket(s) by the fourth week of December 2005. If for some reason you do not receive your ticket(s) by this time, it is your responsibility to contact us immediately for tracking information: Awards Staff at 818-718-5788 ext. 117.

We will NOT be replacing tickets under ANY circumstances. Seating is on a first come, first serve basis. Your table number will be located at the bottom of your ticket. There are absolutely no refunds. AVN is not responsible for lost or stolen tickets. Thank you for your purchase and we will see you at the show!

If you have ordered your tickets after December 23rd they will NOT be mailed to you, you will have to pick them up at will call AVN AWARDS BOOTH outside of the Sands Expo Center / AEE Expo inside the Venetian hotel...

Suck Start My Heart

Gia Jordan remembers:

Scott Fayner directed Suck Start My Heart.

Scheduled in my scene were 2 Czech guys. They were both supposed to be in the scene, but once I found out they were FATHER AND SON, one of them had to be sent home packing. I don't care what kind of freaky circus show antics happens in their country or the Appalaccian Moutains but that's just downright disturbing. So, the son stayed and pop didn't pop that day.

Ryan Knox writes: "The pic is taken from 'Oral Consumption 6,' directed by Kahn Tusion and Chico Wang. Fayner has also directed and put himself in scenes for Hustler."

Where Special Needs Blvd. Meets Religion Road

Tony writes in the New York Daily News:

Timothy Shortell, now sociology department chairman, wrote in an online academic publication that the devout "are an ugly, violent lot. In the name of their faith, these moral retards are running around pointing fingers."

The term "moral retards" didn't sit well with a lot of people. "He's intolerant," fumed Alex Selsky of the school's Hillel chapter, a Jewish campus organization, in the Daily News. "With this kind of unreasonable thinking, I don't know how he can be elected to head of a department."

Kevin Oro-Hahn, director of the school's InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, was quoted as saying he hoped the university could "move beyond mere rhetoric in the pursuit of truth."

Astonishingly, these students didn't find the use of the word "retards" objectionable.

Tony writes me: "Sarah Silverman talks in her comedy act about her grandmother having been a "survivor." When in fact her grandmother was never in a concentration camp. It just proves to me that it's easier to shock than it is to be clever. And shock is rarely as funny as funny is."

Tony continues:

In January of 2004, I did a Counterpunch piece in The L.A. Times' Calendar section about The Black-Eyed Peas party anthem, "Let's Get Retarded."

Those of us with kids in the special needs population found this, gee, just a bit much.

I wondered why this was OK but songs called "Let's Get Kike-y" or "Let's Get Nigger-y" surely wouldn't be released by a major label like A&M Records. (I know those words are horribly inflammatory but I do feel they're crucial to making my point.) (And I am Jewish, thanks for asking.)

Cutting to the chase, Black-Eyed Peas --- without admitting the title was in any way wrong --- changed the title to "Let's Get It Started" several months later and the single became an even more enormous hit. It was even played at the Democratic National Convention. Fat lot of good it did John Kerry.

Although I did try, I was unable to convince L.A. Times music editor Robert Hilburn to have someone on his staff mention the song's title being changed. He kept saying, "I don't know what the story is."

I let it go because I didn't want to be a pest. Actually, I'd already passed the pest point but I digress.

Thump!

That sound was me 24 months later kicking myself for not having sooner thought of a better way to frame this issue.

To wit:

Several times a year, a school somewhere --- high school or college --- is forced to change its name because there's some alleged American Indian slight involved, i.e. Redskins, Braves, etc. I know you've read and heard about these conflicts.

Regardless of whether you think this is political correctness run amok or a legitimate complaint, these stories got covered.

There weren't sports page or city editors saying, "What's the story here? Why should we write about it?"

And that's precisely what I should have said to Hilburn. If similar stories get printed in other sections, why not his?

Armed with clips of Times articles about these kinds of school name changes, I was all set to call Hilburn.

But my greatly delayed inspiration was so late that Hilburn had already announced he was leaving The Times after a very long stay there.

Damn!

Nonetheless, I tucked this realization away and will trot it out the next time I'm writing about these issues.

I'm sure that time will not be too far off.

And if any of you are writing about other topics close to your heart, you should bear in mind that the most persuasive arguments for your cause don't have expiration dates.

Malcolm Muggeridge said that "tasteful humor was like a chaste whore." If it doesn't wound, it's probably not funny. I don't advocate going around wounding people in personal life, but when it comes to publicly presenting comedy or music or writing, then screw anyone who doesn't like the joke.

I guess this attitude of mine is another reason why I'm single (and interpersonally and socially retarded).

Tony responds:

I don't think I agree with that [Muggeride line].

To me, humor is more a question of cheap shots vs. expensive ones. Cheap shots are more common because they're easier. For example, Jay Leno is still doing Bill Clinton sex jokes, even though Bill hasn't been in office for almost six years now.

I try to take expensive shots, smart jabs at people in power. I do this everyday at BuzzFlash, the progressive news and commentary site that's based in Chicago. I write daily poems and draw twice-weekly cartoons. Can people you take shots at take shots back at you? That's my bottom line of departure. If a conservative voter or politician doesn't like something I've written, they can tell me so.

The reason I so dislike jokes about people with disabilities is in many cases, they literally can't fight back. So, going after them is inexcusable.

Amalek: 'You Must Crash Holly's Party'

F--- nigger, you got it made. If going yellow is wrong, then you don't want to be right.

You can crash it since you are a journalist. Come with your Asiatic roomie in tow. And wear yellow clothes. Announce to the gathered "Luke has gone yellow, you white bitches." Pretend to be drunk. Make a big scene and be the talk of your porn kehilla.

How do you solve a problem like Holly Randall? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find the word that means Holly R? A flibbertigibbet. A will-o'-the-wisp. A clown. Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her. Many a thing she ought to understand. But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say? How do you keep a wave upon the sand? How do you solve a problem like Holly Randall? How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand? When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused, and I never know exactly where I am? Unpredictable as weather She is flightly as a feather She's a darling. She's a demon. She's a lamb.

Sing that song when you burst in with your yellow woman.

You can be Porgy to Holly's Bess. In fact, when you burst into her party Saturday night, I want to see you in Black Face. Oh yes, that's right - I've already been invited. Look for me in the tutu.

Show you are a man who goes where his interests take him. That is the sort of thing that turns women on. And face down the whole room. Be that man whom everyone talks about for years to come, the man who got the girl. Facing a competitor for Holly's affections? That's the other guy's problem. You are Luke, self-made intellectual journalist, and you fear nothing from a mere girl porner. Besides, as a journalist, you HAVE to go to that party. Also hook up with that older chick Robin from your web site.

Remember, if you want that woman (Holly) you must be that man. When she sees the steel in your eyes, she will come crawling into your hovel.

When she sees the alternative future that awaits her - Mexicans and shvartzes - she will go off the pill and beg for your sperm. When she sees you at her party, all conversation will stop. The world will be yours.

Holly don't want a wimp. When she says "no," she means "I hope he tries to change my mind." When she fails to invite, she hopes that you will be a cave man, seek her out, knock her over the head with her bong, drag her to the hovel, and make her your's.

So I want you at that party. If it does not work out (which won't happen), just blame Amalek. And people will think "poor Luke, with his pretend friends."

My buddy Jack says: "All this stuff I've been reading on your site, is it true about you having a real girlfriend now?"

"I have a friend in Jesus."

"It seemed cute. Here I was thinking you were finally going to come out of the tunnel and be normal. And now you're back in your dark recesses. Keep trying. At least you're showing signs."

"I'm getting my first novel out of it. Not a memoir. Fiction. My Last Shiksa. Inspired by real events but a work of imagination. An Orthodox Jew about to marry has a final fatal fling. I've let her know to see if she has any concerns."

"It will be all laid out in the restraining order."

"She doesn't want to impinge on my artistic creativity. No other girl would be so cool. She's just so damn cool. She's the coolest chick I've ever known."

"I've been reading about that and skipping through all the other Adult stuff."

"She's smart and literate."

"Everything I've experienced of her, she seems, almost to the point where the times I've seen her around, I almost felt threatened that she was so much more intelligent and experienced than I was, so I never really spoke to her in case she points out my shortcomings. I'm sure you're a special notch on her belt."

Kat Kleavage Update

She calls me Thursday at 12:32PM. She says she's not leaving sex work and that her name is now spelled "Cat Cleavage" due to some legal matters.

Cat: "I am moving to Vegas. When you move away from LA, there's not a lot of porn going on. I do have a civilian job [with her new civilian boyfriend]. I'm selling hand-painted oils on canvas. I am not going to be running an ad [for escorting] unless I'm going to be back East.

"I'm going to start shooting my own little porn here.

"I'm not going to escort so much. I've got a boyfriend, a job, and an apartment. It's so much fun.

"We're leaving for Vegas tomorrow.

"I started working in his art business and I'm not going to make enough money to live in two cities. I decided to throw in the towel. I've been in LA for five years. This is the best offer I've had.

"We met in January at the AVN show. We started dating in March. When I met him, I had a boyfriend."

Luke: "What's it like having a boyfriend when you're a sex star?"

Cat: "Really really hard. He's touchy about a few things. He doesn't mind the porn so much. He just doesn't want me doing it fulltime. The escorting, he said, 'No more ads.' But I'm going to work. I'm going to do porn because everyone is tested. You know what you're involved in. You know you're not going to walk on set and get in trouble."

Luke: "Weren't you studying to be a real estate agent?"

Cat: "I have my license. It's hard here. Dog eat dog. I'm not going to fight the 20,000 agents here in LA. In about six months to a year, I might get a property management license and do time-share. They make good money. My girlfriend works in Vegas and she's been doing time-share for a couple of years. She says she can get me a job anywhere. 'I know everybody.'

"Isn't time-share what old hookers go into doing? Or is that a PBS operator? In the '70s and '80s, the old hookers were doing that PBS operator.

"I'm excited about moving but I love LA. I was born and raised here.

"I'm probably going to shoot some interviews at the show with some of the girls I know and some of the new talent for the project we're trying to work on for my website.

"I'm happy."

Porn Study

Jen writes 12/29/05 from Australia:

Like many of my friends, male and female, I actually love nasty and degrading porn, so I'm not complaining about it. I also agree that you won't get anywhere pretending it doesn't exist. Even in "mainstream" porn, there is just so much objectification and degradation. Our whole society is replete with it, why not porn? It's not going away, either.

Questioner writes:

Check out this statement:

"Recently-produced mainstream pornographic tapes do not show women being abused; the narrative trope of a woman learning to enjoy her own rape has vanished from mainstream pornography."

So get that? He flat out says that "recently produced mainstream porn tapes do not show women being abused."

Then in the very next paragraph, he writes:

"Of the sample's 16 violent scenes, nine occured in videos marketed to women; four were set in explicit fantasy environments."

16 violent scenes? I thought he just said that mainstream porn no longer shows women being abused? All sorts of blatant contradictions show up in studies, but this one is particularly obvious. He continues:

"These points may be related: much popular women's fiction is set in melodramatic, or explicitly fantastic situations. This may be a gendered address in pornography, where it is material aimed at women that is more likely to include violence."

Yeah, so? There are women who enjoy seeing women abused. I have always known that. But Dr. McKee just got through telling us that newer mainstream pornography does NOT contain abuse! WTF? He continues:

"Rocco Siffredi, whose videos are responsible for three of the seven physically violent moments, is the most popular male porn star with female audiences (Albury, 2002b)."

From the Wikipedia article on Rocco Siffredi:

"Rocco's films are widely varied in content and tone. He has appeared in romantic adventures and comedies in the Vivid style, but his later work with John Stagliano's Evil Angel Video is informed by the artistic philosophy and vision of Max Hardcore. In these later films, Rocco spits on women, slaps them, performs irrumatio and watersports (censored in U.S. versions), makes his co-stars gag during deepthroat, and pulls hair to the point of causing tears."

Now, that doesn't sound abusive at all!

More:

"Shocking climaxes often involve such activities as Rocco focusing the camera on the distended anus of one of his female co-stars, spitting into it, ejaculating into it, and then, in scenes meant to imply breaking the fourth wall, demanding that other co-stars clean the woman's anus with their tongues. Another hallmark of Rocco's films is allowing male fans, picked up by the production crew, to ejaculate onto the faces of his female costars; Rocco took this tradition one step further when directing Never Say Never To Rocco Siffredi, when, filming in a park, Rocco grabbed passing strangers and then requested that his female co-stars perform oral sex on them...."

"Rocco - Animal Trainer is Siffredi's roughest line and the one which has garnered him the most fame in America...There is a heavy emphasis on rougher, more sadistic sex, with hard facial slapping, violent hair-pulling and scenes of extremely abusive anal sex. (Rumours persist in many online forums of the availability of 'uncut' versions of this line through assorted vendors within Europe, with the various scenes of abuse all reportedly extended, more detailed, and more brutal). In Animal Trainer 15, Siffredi engages in rough anal sex with American porn actress Jewel De'Nyle, and forces her head into a toilet during the final scene, a technique that seems to help him achieve climax. (The image of Siffredi dunking a gasping female performer's head into and out of a water-filled toilet bowl has become a key graphic in the promotional artwork for many of his European releases)."

So.... since Dr. McKee tells us that newer mainstream porn no longer shows abuse toward women, Rocco's videos must be quite old, right? Wrong!

According to the Adult Film Database, the first installment of Rocco: Animal Trainer was published in 2002. This is well AFTER many of the "recent" videos cited by Dr. McKee. The most recent installment of this series was published in 2005.

Movies like Rocco's are mainstream, AND are recent, AND show extremely violent and degrading abuse of women. So it is very odd that McKee would tell us a blatant whopper that "recently-produced mainstream pornographic tapes do not show women being abused," and then go on to contradict himself in the very next paragraph!

Weird!

Now, as soon as I heard about McKee's study, I knew it was nonsense. No objectification and degradation in popular porn? Yeah right; popular porn is full of this stuff! Look up Max Hardcore, Backroom Facials, Steve Sweet, Khan Tusion, etc., etc. This is some of the best selling stuff out there, and it's full of degradation of women. So I'm not surprised he was wrong in his statements; I'm just shocked that he so openly contradicted himself, right in the text of the study, apparently without even knowing it. How could he possibly have watched scenes like Rocco's and then conclude that mainstream porn is no longer abusive toward women?

I guess he is trying to protect porn from the censorship lobby. However, by denying the obvious - that abusive porn exists in the mainstream, and that it sells - and then disproving his own denial, he only shoots himself in the foot. Lots of mainstream porn still shows abuse of women; that there are women who enjoy watching this is irrelevant to the fact that it exists. So we should deal with this fact rather than lamely trying to sweep it under the rug.

Note that the reviewer is pro-porn and is clearly fascinated by McKee's work. S/he just realizes that denying the existence of objectification and degradation in mainstream porn will get us nowhere. It's part of the picture, it's definitely what many people want, male and female. Telling people it isn't really there won't work; all they have to do is look. It's all over the place. Rocco Siffredi, Max Hardcore, Extreme Associates, Khan Tusion, Bangbus, Backroom Facials, Meatholes.com, FacialHumiliation.com, IAmAToilet.com, Kinkythai.com, Pissmops.com...etc.

I love porn, but I know for a fact that exploitation and degradation go on in it. There are plenty of naive barely-legal women who have no clue what they are getting into. Why wouldn't there be? Exploitation and dehumanization happen in many jobs, and not just sex-related ones! "Relatively safe work?" In many cases, FAR FROM IT! McKee should check out sites like kinkythai.com, with movies where prostitutes are made to eat dog feces and tell me they are all enjoying that! Tell me that is kind, gentle and safe! He should look up the interview that Belladonna gave to Diane Sawyer.

"The show focused mainly on Belladonna, and strongly suggested that she had been pressured into performing certain scenes in adult films, including one in which she had sex with twelve men at once. It also presented Belladonna as unhappy with her job and with her life. In the most notorious part of the broadcast, the porn star—confronted onscreen with her devout Mormon mother—broke into tears."

Even Jenna Jameson, who "is determined to present herself as a woman who has set her own goals and made her own choices" does not exactly present her experience with the porn industry as non-abusive. From the same link:

"At 14, Jameson was beaten and gang-raped. At 16, she was raped by Preacher. Because of that, she stayed out past curfew, which caused her father to kick her out of the house. This led her to move in with her scumbag boyfriend, Jack. She became a stripper because that’s what the girlfriends of bikers did. Later, she did her first boy-girl sex onscreen in order to take revenge on Jack, who had been cheating on her."

"It’s a depressing and sordid tale. Nor is the life of a sex-worker as she describes it particularly attractive. For one thing, it’s physically demanding work. As Jameson describes in a charming illustrated section, common stripper injuries include chronic back pain from wearing high heels, chronic neck problems from whipping your hair around, abrasions from sliding around naked, and the occasional ruptured breast implant from landing on the floor wrong....

"There’s also immense psychological stress. Stars can lose respect for both money and sex; your “pussy will…change…from a pleasure center to a cash machine,” Jameson warns. Things can get even worse if you have a boyfriend. Jameson’s most wrenching experiences in the industry came not during her first scenes, but during some of her last ones in the book, when she was dating her future husband, who was dead set against her sleeping with other men. Already under contract for the film, she vomited in a trash can and then went through with the scene. Even without the massive social stigma, sex work hardly seems like an easy or pleasant way to make a living."

Despite the times when she says being in porn made her a stronger person, etc.:

"When a CNN interviewer asked whether Jameson would want her daughter to follow in her footsteps, she answered as most of us would: hell, no. '[T]his is such a hard industry for a woman to get ahead and get the respect that she deserves,' Jameson explained. 'I fought tooth and nail to get to where I am, and it's not something that I would want my daughter to go through…. For my child, hey, I want them to go to college and be a doctor.'"

And keep in mind that the porn Jameson has starred in is MUCH milder than, say, Max Hardcore's, let alone Hans Burger's (the kingpin behind KinkyThai, etc.)

As the reviewer points out, there are lots of women who enjoy seeing other women get abused. Or even participating in such abuse. I find this is especially the case if it's a kind of woman they dislike, i.e., younger and more beautiful. That there are women who enjoy seeing and/or participating in such abuse doesn't make it abuse any less!

Finally, 50 mostly LEGAL porn movies will not paint a clear picture of what Australians want to see. The degrading and violent stuff is ILLEGAL down under. So it's not typically going to be on any official Top 50 list. Obviously. (Though even with the law in the way, Rocco Siffredi showed up on the list; as mentioned before, he makes very abusive porn.) For the illegal stuff, Australians are going to use the 'net, a source of *billions* for pornographers that nonetheless did not show up on McKee's radar.

Anyway, I enjoyed McKee's study but many of his apparent conclusions just don't stand to the light of reality.

I'm 50. I'm female, divorced, have a grown up daughter. I have bought a couple subscriptions to online porn, really nasty stuff. If it's not degrading, it bores me. I know the "experts" say that women are supposed to like it "kinder and gentler"... well, you can't always trust the "experts." A male friend introduced me to it... before I watched porn with him, I had no idea it could be such a turn-on. Gives me a lot of perverted ideas that I never knew existed. Before this introduction I had just seen really boring SO CALLED "couples porn"... with all that hilarious fake moaning, good only for comedy. I would say I'm getting addicted to some of the really perverted stuff. And I know others who are. But as long as it doesn't get in the way of life goals or whatever, I don't see that there has to be a problem.

Jason Curious Writes About Mary Carey

...Carey's always had fake ones since the beginning of her career. She was just told to keep it quiet. So then, why go get new ones even if she knew it would terminate her contract? Unless, of course, she wanted to get out of her contract after having received counter offers from Legend! That was a mighty fast turnaround, after all. Hmm; me thinks Mary Carey is smarter than she lets on sometimes!

I Ask Paul Fishbein For A Quote About The Gun-Point Robbery Of Him And Wife Dec 14

He replies: "I want to let it pass. People keep calling giving their condolences like I'm dead. They say they're sorry and I say "I'm talking to you. They didn't shoot us.""

On Set With Young Girls, Older Women

Rob Spallone Rob Trinity Harding Trinity Trinity Rob Trinity Trinity Trinity Trinity, Bill Diehl Trinity, Bill Trinity, Bill Robin Robin Robin Trinity Trinity Trinity Trinity, Robin listen to a lecture from director Ron Sullivan Trinity, Robin Trinity, Robin Trinity, Robin Trinity, Robin Trinity, Robin Trinity, Robin Trinity, Robin Trinity, Robin Trinity, Robin Mia Smiles Mia Smiles Mia, Chris Cannon Mia, Chris Mia, Chris

I call Rob at 9:30.

"Are you shooting today?" I ask.

"Yes. Young girls, mature women," he says. "I'm on my way to the set."

"Who are the girls?"

"They're cute. Trinity Harding..."

She sounds cute. I drive 30-minutes to Woodland Hills.

Trinity (who's going to being playing the young girl) says she served two tours of duty in Iraq as part of the reserves. She says she worked in the post office in Iraq. She says she shot and killed many people. She says five of her friends died in her arms.

Yesterday she said she had walking pnuemona but thank the Lord she's made a miraculous recovery.

Porn heals.

But can it heal the pain of having killed women and children? Recalling the deaths she inflicted, Trinity (the most dangerous Post Office worker ever) gets a far away look in her eyes.

I ask her for her views on the Iraq invasion. She says no comment. She fears being recalled to service. She says she can be recalled until 2007.

Trinity says she's done about 40 scenes during her four months in porn.

"Mary Carey's got some contract," says Rob.

"What was Legend thinking?" asks production manager Kenny Carolina.

"She's a publicity machine," says Rob.

"There are girls much more attractive than her," says Kenny.

"I shot Katie Gold last week," says Rob. "And she was excellent. I don't give a ---- what anybody says. She's always excellent."

Even when she's drunk?

"She does her job," says Rob.

Trinity says she's not coming to Vegas and that she's not speaking to her roommate.

Rob: "What are you going to do with your life?"

Trinity: "I'm going to school."

Rob: "For what?"

Trinity: "Business."

Rob: "Monkey business?"

Luke: "Why did you get into the industry?"

Trinity, who got in through small agent Steve Pomeranz: "The money and the sex."

Rob tells Trinity: "Whatever you say, he will be printing, and everyone in the industry will read it."

Trinity: "I know. I've figured that one out already.

"How can I get copies of the photos [Bill] took."

Rob: "Ask Bill."

Trinity: "He said, 'Ask Rob.'"

Ron Sullivan (director) and Bill Diehl (photographer) ask Trinity for the ages of the oldest guys she's had sex with. On camera it was 52, she says. Off-camera, it was 39.

"We can help you shatter that," says Ron. "How long does it take you to shave your legs? A day a piece."

Sullivan looks and sounds better than last week. He's got his teeth in (but has no feeling in his chin). He's ready to deliver his speech inducting Fred Lincon into the Legends of Erotica Jan 6. He says it will be his last speech (because of his throat pain, cancer).

Ron says he used to be an auctioneer. He had a magnificent voice.

Rob wants me to put on my website that he's not going to Vegas, even though he is.

"Luke is a truth-teller," says our friend Mike. "He can't lie."

Rob may have had an arrest and some other problems in Vegas that may make things sticky for him.

Spallone's psorias has cleared up. "I've got a new method. There is no cure for psoriasis. I use a knife and scrape it off."

"I had crabs once. Twice. I had a girlfriend for six years. I cheated on her and got the crabs. I went to the doctor and got the medicine. I called my girlfriend. 'Come home from work early and let's f---.' She comes home. I said, 'Let's take a shower.' I had taken the medicine and put it in the shampoo bottle. She even said, 'It smells funny.' I made her shave her pussy. Nobody shaved their pussy back then. She never even knew she had the crabs."

Spallone wants to release a big-budget porno and advertise that people who buy it will get four free porn DVDs (they only cost 60c each to manufacture).

Kenny: "I believe we are the most corrupt government on the face of the earth."

Ron: "Without a doubt."

Kenny, later: "I'd rather buy sex than ask for it."

Luke: "How often do you do that?"

Kenny: "Never.

"Where are all the good sluts in this business? Girls who would come in and f--- anybody. That should be the whole point of being in this business but [today] they're all in it for the money."

Rob drives our friend Mike and me to lunch at 11:30. We try to get into Brent's Deli but there's a long line. We circle the block and pull up to Abe's Deli.

Luke to Rob: "How many years you got to live?"

Mike laughs.

Rob: "Four."

Rob tells the waitress my order: "My sister here will have half-a-fruit plate."

Luke: "With cottage cheese."

Mike laughs.

Rob: "Did you take a giggle pill?"

Mike: "If you had gotten into computers..."

Rob: "I'd be Bill Gates?"

Mike: "No, if you'd become a salesman, you'd be rich."

Luke: "Rob, how was your bankruptcy [last week]?"

Rob: "It was great. Over in two minutes. I've paid all my bills my whole life. Then my divorce."

Through bankruptcy, Rob sloughed off about $90,000 in credit card and bank loans. "If I had known it was this easy, I would've done it a long time ago."

Rob's ex-wife Helena has a carpenter boyfriend. Rob has a young girlfriend.

After 26 years, Kat Kleavage has quit porn and prostitution, says Rob (Kat calls me Dec 29 to say that is not true). She's moving to Las Vegas and going into her boyfriend's art business.

Since her teens, Kat has walked the streets (Hollywood, Hawaii, New York, etc).

We platonically shared a bed in Las Vegas in January 2003. She got out the Yellow Pages and the telephone on Saturday morning and tried to find a [place] for me.

I've stayed with Rob in Vegas for the January show three times (two other times I stayed on my own).

I get up. "I'm going to the restroom," I say.

"What?" says Rob. "Change tapes?"

On the ride home, Rob regrets not being a better friend to journalist Cindi Loftus. She often emails him but he doesn't make much of a reply. "I can't spell," he says, "so how can I write? I try to say, 'How are you doing?' and the chick hears it as, 'Go f--- yourself.'"

I repeat his words into my tape recorder.

"Luke, I think you get a kick out of me," he says.

"Write this on your website. 'I had lunch today with Rob Spallone after five months of him not even talking to me. He told me to lay off the people in the industry [that] that douchebag HollywoodMafia.com writes about. Lay off. And Rob threatened to kill me today if I keep writing that ----. And he was never more serious."

Mike giggles.

Rob: "He put a gun to my head. I was scared. I thought today was my last day."

Mike: "But at least I wasn't going to die hungry."

Rob: "Make it interesting."

Luke: "I will."

Rob: "It was my last meal, I thought. So I had a steak and a lobster tail."

Luke: "What's the name of the movie you're shooting today?"

Rob: "Mature Women, Younger Girls."

Luke: "That's the name of the movie or the genre?"

We talk about today's porn girl T. Harding who looks like disgraced ice skater Trinity Harding.

Mike: "Tonya Harding? That skanky bitch."

Rob: "Hey, hey. Watch your language.

"This is my house, Luke. Don't put the address on the website."

We pull up in the driveway (12:45pm) and look at Ron Sullivan slumped in a chair on the pouch.

"Let's sit and watch him," says Rob. "He doesn't know we're here. He don't look like a mental patient? Poor guy. Look at him. Is he the best? He don't have a hair piece. At his age, in the porn business longer than anybody. He should be worth millions. He's thinking about chemo. He's going to go right now. Have you got a tape recorder? This is it. There it is. He's choking it up."

Ron leans over and examines a bicycle. "He's having flashbacks. He was around before the wheel. I love Ron."

Rob marches in the house. "We better get someone else to shoot the camera. Ron looks like he's about to keel over."

The young women are getting $600 for today's scenes. The old women $400.

Crystal Klein Visits Holly Randall Friday

Holly: "Maybe we should all hang out, since you two seem to like each other."
Luke: "Only if you're drinking."
Holly: "Around Crystal, it's hard not to-- she's so fun to party with! Last time we took half naked pics of each other, but I erased them. She looked great, I looked awful. Her body is perfect, it's really annoying."

Porn Historian Sam Stetson Dies

I spoke to Sam (an engineer by career and education, he lived in Virginia) about 20 times from year 2000 until this year. I last spoke to him a year ago after Jim Holliday died. Sam had various ailments but was pleased at being interviewed about porn history by some UK crew.

Stetson was sad about the end of his friendship with Holliday (more than a decade ago). Jim believed that Sam had passed out his private phone number to someone who did not deserve it.

I got an email from somebody at Indiana University: "Thought you would like to know that Sam Stetson died this Tuesday, December 27, 2005, at his home in Arlington, Virginia. He spoke often and well of you."

AVN's David Woodman reports.

Lisa Ann Returns To LADirectModels

She and Derek, the owner, had a fight last week. Derek wanted her to house one of his girls who had a drug problem. She refused. Now they've made up.

Dave at MyPornoReview.com writes: "Lisa Ann only came back and made up with Derek because she knew its better than being a house dancer at some sleezy valley strip club or flipping burgers."

Jenna Presley Ready To Sign Autographs

On Myspace.com yesterday, Jenna Presley posted a bulletin that said something like: "Hey guys... Ill be eating dinner at the Ivy at 6:30 pm tonight... Im hanging out with my little sister. Going to be in ther area? Let me know and ill bring those 8 by 10s."

Does she really think that a swarm of fans is going to hang outside this restaraunt, waiting for her to come out so they can get her autograph?

How to win over Holly's dad

Chaim advises:

Say: "If the White Race is to have any sort of future, Mister Knippe, then the Holly Knippes and Luke Flaweds of the world must mate and produce many fine healthy Aryan offspring."

This is an argument that this old South African will respect. You are both sons of the Southern Cross.

Remind him that every year Holly is unmarried and not with child is a year that she might well conceive a child with Negro.

Dennis Prager: "I'm sorry" is a more powerful and important phrase than "I love you"

I always welcome corrections. Email Luke

Playa Solutions Asks Me To Get My Story Straight

Oystein Wright emails me:

A court order was signed by judge on November 30th. 2005 in favor of Playa Solutions "Motion to Set Aside the Dismissal filed by Tucker."

Tucker fraudulently dismissed the case against himself in court thinking the case would simply "go away." It has not and is back in effect.

Here is a link to the official website for Superior Court of California County of Los Angeles. Type in case number BC333076.

The case is back in court and will not go away before a resolution to the matter has been reached.

A Warning For T.T. Boy

Sergio, a Brazilian porn journalist, writes me: "I think it´s fair to warn T.T. Boy that some of the Brazilian girls he shoots thru Evasive Angles aren´t, uh, as old as they claim to be. Do you have his contact adress?"

Tony Testa = Pornogossip.com?

Jizzbiz69 writes on XPT: "Tony Testa whose brother Joe works [co-founded] for Video Secrets and who dated Clive McLean's niece Elle..."

Tony Testa (webmaster for SpaCash.com) responds:

Hey Luke- Read you site today saying I run pornogossip. That is funny. Also read on XPT on how I am Van Piles, that made me laugh too. In either case, I am not the person involved. I did enjoy the research about me, the funny part is, I never threw anyone under the bus. If you ask around you would have a tough time finding someone who hates me or that I talked shit about. The pornogossip thing is old but being Van Piles, after reading all of it, is really funny.We could start yelling about IP address and what not, which if you want to know, mine is 68.6.212...., so go ask Tony Malice the IP address of Van Piles. I am sure its logged somewhere. I would love to take credit for pornogossip, Van Piles, the JFK assassination and the Viet Nam war, however those were all done by someone else.

I call Tony. "Are you affiliated with pornogossip.com?"

Tony: "At the beginning, yeah. But after it got sold, I got tired of the heat, and I just walked away from it. That was over a year ago. I was getting screaming phonecalls all the time. It wasn't fun. I didn't write the stories. I just did the tech stuff."

Testa entered porn in 1998 for Video Secrets. He got pushed out in 2001.

He posts frequently on GFY. "I don't cause drama, so I don't think I have any enemies. I'm not sure it really helps or hurts business. If you cause a lot of drama, people will turn away from you. A lot of big companies don't post at all and they seem to do well. I don't think boards matter."

Luke: "What have been the highlights and lowlights of your time in porn?"

Tony: "Highlights? Working for ClubJenna, roadying for Brianna Banks. Lowlights? Being forced out of VideoSecrets by a couple of the greedy owners."

Luke: "What do you love and hate about the porn industry?"

Tony: "I love that it's recession-proof. I hate that it's lame. It's like being in highschool."

Luke: "How's it affected your social life and your love life?"

Tony: "It hasn't. Most of my friends are in the industry. My family knows. They're fine."

Luke: "What about girls you date?"

Tony: "They're all in the industry [behind the camera]. It's easier. You don't have to make excuses or convince them about what's going on."

What Does My Friend Amalek Chat About?

He writes me:

From time to time, I toss out ideas at her. Porn I want to see. I want a naked women giving lectures on academic topics so that they better stick in the mind. I want to see Cliff's Notes redone on video with a porn chick delivering the lecture.

>And how does Holly respond?

But she is too conservative to do any of this. And she is. She's not one to rock the porn boat. Not being sarcastic, she IS conservative, in her own way She has a good life, and is afraid to do anything that will rock the boat.

I've also proposed affirmative action programs in porn. You know, quotas on who gets hired. And I questioned why there are so few images of black women on her web site.

Holly writes: "HA! He only gave you tamest of his ideas. Did he mention his brilliant concept of a talking vagina? Yeah, I didn't think so."

Chaim responds: "Like Mr Ed, only with a pussy instead of a horse, and guys have sex with this pussy, whereas they did not have sex with Mr Ed on that TV show (don't know what happened off screen)."

LFP Forces Its Photographers To Add Four Pages To Model Releases

Releases around the industry are getting longer and more complicated. LFP now demands that the models sign and date the COLOR copies of their IDs.

I'm curious how Hustler gets away with using models who don't have permission to work in the United States.

I doubt that people like Hustler and Danni's Hard Drive pay in cash. Surely the models submit a W-9 form. Maybe some photographers pay in cash? Or the models submit fake paperwork with fake social security numbers. That's the most likely answer.

Help Me Help Poor Black Women Get Pap Smears

I framed it in terms of the Black Woman since she is too often left behind in porn. Last hired, first fired, less pay.

Recent events in my life have put me in a mood that is both introspective and charitable, as more than most men will acknowledge, I know that there but for the grace of God go I. I recently learned that poor black women are not getting as many pap smears as they should (relative to the number that white women are getting). This is a serious matter, as pap smears can detect the early stage onset of serious disorders caused by human papilloma virus infections (HPV).

Of course, simply meaning to do well is not the same thing as doing well, and if more such tests are be made available to black women, money must be found for this purpose. I propose funding my program with a special tax (hopefully it will be the first of many such "Luke F--d" taxes) to be levied on pornography. I know that certain people close to me will recoil at this prospect, but it makes just as much sense to impose taxes on pornography as it does to tax cigarettes to help pay for the social consequences of tobacco use.

And pornography has consequences. To begin with, the manufacture of pornographic movies exposes virtually every performer to both herpes simplex (HSV) and HPV. (At the risk of penetrating the veil of fantasy with which every man covers his mind when using pornography, virtually every performer active today is infected with at least one strain of each kind of virus, and will be for life.) A tax on porn could be used to better fund the search for vaccines to prevent the transmission of HPV and herpes, to the benefit of both porn people and the rest of humanity. This would go a long way towards improving the cervical health of black women too, as some of this money could be used towards funding pap smears for black women until such time as vaccines obviate the need for such tests.

This isn't the sort of thing that can be done alone or by my shouting from a blog; I will need the help of God-fearing men and women of good heart across the land to join with me in demanding that our legislators begin to tax pornography for the betterment of women's health, especially that of our all too often neglected Black Women, who do so much for us and yet get so little in return. Please, if you belong to a church, contact your clergy and ask them to get behind this movement. If you are a social conservative, then write letters to George Bush and his closest friends and advisers, whoever they may be, asking for their support. The important thing is to put down that porn and start acting on behalf of others. Trust me, you'll be glad you did.

Chaim writes me: "Any offers of support rolling in to help black women? Or is the Blackwoman again invisible to the porn world? Luke, isn't it time the NAACP was informed? And why aren't you in contact with Al Sharpton about this? I want to see you driving Al Sharpton around Porn Valley, with a 60 Minutes camera crew riding gunshot with you in the back of your van. He could be a modern day Martin Luther King or Reverend Ike, putting the fear of the Lord in the white, disproportionately Jewish men who control the skin trade (not that there is any association to be had between support for Israel and pornography, mind you). Think of the press! Think of the human interest story - you, the muckraking, scab picking self taught journalist, daring to take on all the powers that be, including those that just happen to include the parents of your girlfriend Holly Randall! The press would eat this up. Thus do you supplant Humphrey Knippe and Suzie Randall as Alpha Male in Holly's universe and win her heart and sole possession of her (very much nontalking) vagina. The Son of the Southern Cross in you wants to lead a Crusade against the pornographic exploitation of the Black Woman. Luke on 60 Minutes. Luke on Oprah. Luke and Al Sharpton speaking to the AME Zionist church in Harlem. You will become a political power. With a suddenly chaste Holly by your side, converted to your cause and openly in opposition to her parents, there will be no stopping you two."

Flesh Trade: Tales from the UK Sexual Underground

I email author Bruce Barnard:

I'm amused by the dick-measuring stuff Brits and Australians need to do... Yanks rarely need to measure themselves against the UK and Australia. It's like San Francisco vs LA. San Franciscans have a passionate hatred for LA but LA doesn't have strong feelings about SF. Nobody in the world watches British porn and fears for its moral implications...

As for your comment: "I don’t ever want to think I was directly responsible for f---ing someone over just to score a cheap laugh. Given your own history this would appear to be yet another example of the difference between you and us."

For ten years I've dealt face to face with the people I write about... I didn't just write a book and get away before having to face the consequences. I face/hear the consequences every day in a way you never will unless you stay on the same beat for years.

It's a lot easier to write nice things about people if you're going to hang with them, then to write dispassionately... That applies to any group, but particularly to groups that feel persecuted, such as pornographers, Jews, blacks etc...

Bruce responds:

It's only us smug writer types that tend to engage in inter-Atlantic 'mine's bigger then yours' stupidity. Purely because we tend to be defined by the need to feel culturally superior, it's a sickness that strikes all creative types I think.

You've been upsetting industry folks for years now and I fully respect that. Given the profits involved in the industry today someone needs to be digging under it's skin and vocalising that 'there is something rotten in the state of Denmark'.

It's interesting to think that my next book on Race has much more scope to offend, sex is everywhere, but honest discussion on ssues of religion and ethnic diversity remains something of a taboo.

Thoughts On Mary Carey

My friend writes:

Instead of going to CES/AVN next week I had made plans to go to Florida with a local GalPal & in the process of assembling the MC stuff to show her I googled Tod Hunter's stuff on her, I found some really telling stuff by your old bud Jimmy D. I had missed it & I never met or spoke with Jim but I guess, despite the flakiness of many photo guys I know, we should trust Jim & the TV news guy & others in their craft, 99% of the time seeing = believing. Apparently Mary has gotten herself implanted & explanted numerous times, not that it makes her atypical, just sadly typical. While Devinn Lane hardly makes much of a source, I do agree that Mary Carey seems to have much more personality than the bilge the porn biz tries to pass off for porn "stars" these days, & I noted a similar comment from a reader after your Tampa show coverage. I just hope Mary some day catches a clue, recovers & restores her body to some state of health instead of winding up on your denouement "Dead Porn Stars" page.

James DiGiorgio writes during the recall election:

I understand that the pic on the left was professionally shot with pro lighting and with a makeup artist applying some magic to Mary's face; I figure the shot was then touched-up in Photoshop. I also understand the shot on the right was snapped by a news photographer grabbing a quick, candid photo under lousy lighting conditions (Mary is facing the sun), without professional makeup, and with no touch-up performed after the fact. But I still am having a hard time seeing these two images as being the same girl!

James DiGiorgio writes Dec 22:

I'm about ninety-nine and nine-tenths percent sure there's more to Mary Carey parting ways with Kick Ass, if indeed she's truly parting ways with them, than her bra size.

I'm gonna vaguely refer to a few of the players in, what might be, the newest Mary Carey publicity campaign. One that might also be coming to a TV set in your very own home fairly soon. This next sentence, btw, is the non-specific information I've been refering to for about six paragraphs now. Okay, the characters include: Jesus H. Christ, the lord and savior of millions and millions of Christians world-wide, a handful of Jesus H. Christ's modern-day proponents, Mary Carey and some other porn people, and a major, well-known, television cablecaster.

AVN August 2002-Tod Hunter
Fresh Off The Bus from: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Age: 21
Height: 5' 9"
Weight: 138
Measurements: 36DD-26-36
Boob Job: "Do I have to answer honestly? Yes."

Dan Gross writes:

"DON'T GIVE up. Get really drunk, and try, try, again," are Mary Carey's words of advice for losers of yesterday's elections. The porn actress would know. Carey, 25, was the ninth runner-up in California's 2003 gubernatorial race. She's now long off the campaign trail and will be back locally on the strip-club stage Nov. 17-19 at the Oasis Gentlemen's Club (6800 Essington Ave.) She's thinking about running again for governor and will announce her plans in February. She's now registered independent but was briefly a Republican over the summer so she could go to a dinner attended by President Bush. The Secret Service made sure she didn't get photographed with the president. Carey hasn't made a hardcore film in more than a year. She says she sometimes wishes she'd never gotten into porn, and while she's still doing lots of nude modeling, she now wants to be a stand-up comic.

From Rotten.com:

But with media attention comes scrutiny, and no one is immune from charges of hypocrisy. Not even joke candidates with big hooters. After all, the woman's name is genuinely on the ballot in California.

For any other candidate for the office of governor of California, 116 minutes of graphic video depicting them in acts of sexual congress would pose a serious problem. Not so for Mary Carey, since she is, after all, a porn actress. Nevertheless, one of her films has gotten her into trouble. When Mary Carey Rules! was released in July 2003, it was a milestone of sorts for the libertine. Up until then, her adult film scenes were of strictly lesbian sex. Now fans could watch documentary footage of her making contact with actual penises. In a tone not unlike that of a carnival barker, the sunburst on the front of the box breathlessly announces: "You've seen her on Howard Stern. Now see her take cock for the 1st time on camera!"

And just in case that pitch sounds too good to be true, the back of the package features a slew of vidcaps depicting Carey con carne, as well as this testimonial from the novice schlong-wrangler herself:

Hey guys, welcome to my world! In case you forgot, I'm the 5-foot-9 blonde with natural double-D tits that everybody LOVES! Speaking of, I bet you'll love to see me get f---ed by some big hard cocks, wouldn't you? Well, your wish has been granted! This video you hold in your hot little hands is a collector's item. For the first time in history, you can watch my tight little pussy getting drilled by macho man-meat! So pop this tape in your VCR and start stroking your own fat cock, sweetie. And remember -- I love you!

All well and good. Except that the film's packaging revived a credibility issue for the adult film actress, which has become especially problematic now that she is a California gubernatorial candidate. The problem is contained in the second sentence, where Mary claims to possess "natural double-D tits." You see, Mary had already admitted to Tod Hunter from AVN Insider in 2001 that her breasts were fake...

She had also said the same thing on the Howard Stern show, and reportedly to several of her costars. This caused a minor scandal in the adult video world, where Mary now sells herself as implant-free. In fact, the Mary Carey Rules! packaging contains a "Guarantee" promising "All-Natural Girls."

It was enough of a problem that Carey's manager arranged for a panel of adult industry folk to touch and squeeze Mary's breasts to determine firsthand (as it were) whether they contain any foreign objects.

Kick Ass Pictures owner Mark Kulkis, has issued an open letter, via email, to the media in which he insists that Carey's breast are real. Along with the email, he included photos that Kulkis suggests prove that her breasts are natural, because they "show a little natural sag."

Noting that the photos will not end the controversy alone, Kulkis has offered to let a group of ten members of the adult media fondle Carey's breast on the set of her first scene under her contract, so that the press "can make their own determination as to whether or not they're real or not."

Which is exactly what they did. Mary had her melons squozen by a panel of jurists from the adult video industry. Their consensus: the boobs were all meat, no filler. But you could hardly call the process authoritative.

Let's face it: breast implants can be difficult to detect, especially underneath skin and tissue, as long as they are underinflated. The most obvious tit jobs are always the ones where the implants and/or surrounding tissues have been stretched tight. And the scars can be hidden inside the navel nowadays -- no more smiley-face crescents under each nipple.

Christmas at the Randalls

Holly Randall writes 12/27/05:

On Christmas Eve, I had gotten a copy of Adam's Film World through a friend of mine, and without telling me why he'd marked a certain page in the magazine. It was an article about "The Other Hollywood," a book that quoted both my mother and my father. I casually scanned the page and to my horror there was a large photo of my mom on the street next to some people with picket signs, a wicked gleam in her eye and a mischievous expression for the camera. Oh, and she had picked up her skirt, and was flashing the photographer. And she had no underwear on. "Ack!" I exclaimed as I slammed the magazine shut. Curious, my father asked for the mag. When he saw the picture, he got a dreamy look in his eyes. "Those were the days..." he sighed. This photo was apparently taken way back when (whether or not it was before I was born or shortly after we're not sure, though I'd like to think it was before), and it marked a religious right protest being staged at an adult convention. Being the troublemaker that she was (and still is) Suze followed the protesters, flashing them her privates and basically shocking everyone there. Apparently Al Goldstein was pissed because she took all the attention away from him. Funny thing, that an attractive woman flashing the crowd vs. a fat angry guy-- who are YOU going to pay more attention to?

My brother came downstairs shortly after, and without offering an explanation, I gave him the magazine and waited for him to find the picture. It took a while, but as I watched his face the change of expression from mildly interested to suddenly horrified I knew he'd found the picture. And like me, he immediately slammed the magazine shut and gave me a dirty look as he handed it back.

"Thanks a lot," he said.

"Hey man," I replied. "If I have to see it, so do you."

This of course led to more reminiscing. My parents had just seen a photo of them from the early 70s at the Wet Dreams festival in Amsterdam. "What a handsome devil I was," my dad has said repeatedly since he saw this photo. "I don't know what you're talking about Humphry," my mom countered. "You were wearing this ridiculous outfit-- that jacket-- all I can say is you cannot make fun of the fact that your youngest daughter (not me) is dating a guy who dresses like a pirate. I of course looked exquisite, made me feel much better!" This argument between my parents over who was better looking in their youth can only be overshadowed by their fond memories of the orgies at this festival. Now that is a trip down memory lane I can do without.

Chaim Amalek: 'If I were in your shoes, I'd be rich'

He writes me: "You have all the raw materials at hand for wealth and sex with quality women, so why have you none of the former and just dribs and drabs of the latter? I'd go into production, and bring the values of the oral law to oral sex. For gays, I'd remake Ben Hur. Such a shallow pond....why have you not made more of a splash in it? Seriously, these people are mutants. You should be ruling their world! Such tiny brains. They possess HTML skills and nothing more."

John Updike: 'Celebrity Is A Mask That Eats Into The Face'

As soon as one is aware of being "somebody," to be watched and listened to with extra interest, input ceases, and the performer goes blind and deaf in his overanimation. One can either see or be seen. Most of the best fiction is written out of early impressions, taken in before the writer becomes conscious of himself as a writer. The best seeing is done by the hunted and the hunter, the vulnerable and the hungry; the "successful" writer acquires a film over his eyes. His eyes get fat. Self-importance is a thickened, occluding form of self-consciousness. (Self-Consciousness)

Where Was Kevin Federline on Friday night?

Gossiplist spies saw him [Dec 4] with another woman last night at Mixmaster Mike's after party in LA. Big shock there, huh?

Maybe he was seen with Kendra Jade?

MARY CAREY INTERVIEW

Courtesy of Xcitement Mag

By Cindi Loftus

The first time I ever talked to Mary Carey she was deciding if she wanted to be a porn star. Although I didn’t know it, Mary had been reading and stashing (under her bed) every Xcitement Magazine since she was nineteen. She saved every issue. She read every word more then once, and could quote ME about what I said in various stories. She knew all about me. It was kind of weird. To decide if she wanted to do porn she went out to LA to meet my friend Nelson X from Legend who I always talked about in my stories. I guess you could say that Xcitement Magazine is the reason that Mary got into porn. And she certainly has come a long way. I’ve been along with her for the whole journey so far and am very happy to be her friend. Yeah, she’s a little loud and bouncy and over the top, but she is also loyal, loveable, brilliant (she has an IQ that got her into the top private high School in South Florida) funny, and a great friend. And she just did a makeover on herself, so if you can believe it, she looks even better then she did six months ago. Time for a chat with the new and improved Mary Carey!

Cindi: Hi Honey. What did you do all day?
Mary: I went to Playboy to do a voice over for a Christmas thing. I went to the mall and ran into Kendra Jade, and we hung out for a while. She knows a lot of people. At Halloween I went with her to a party at Jack Osborne’s, and then to a guy in Maroon 5’s party
C: I love Maroon 5; I went to see them in concert.
M: Yeah, one of those guys is calling me. He’s really nice.
C: You should at least make friends with all these famous people you are meeting!
M: I did enough partying when I hung out with Tawny (Roberts) to last a long time.
C: Was Tawny a bad influence? Or were you?
M: Tawny was fun! I think back on some of the things we did and I can’t believe that me and Tawny are alive. There was one time when we were drunk in front of a nightclub and the paparazzi were shooting us and we both completely lost our balance and fell backwards on the concrete and hit our heads on a wall. I remember looking up and all theses flashes were going off and turning my head to the right and Tawny was laying next to me.
C: Where did those pictures end up?
M: I don’t know. I know that Celebrities Uncensored has footage of it. If you look on the web you’ll find lots of drunk stuff of me. We start out at a basketball games and then sometimes the players would fly us out and we would hang out in their cities. Her and I together were a bad influence because I was the responsible one.
C: YOU were the responsible one? That’s a scary thought. During the Hannah (Harper) time I’m sure she was the responsible one.
M: Hannah was responsible, but we’ve had some crazy times too. Last year I went to Disneyworld in Orlando with my Mom and Hannah for Christmas. And me and Hannah were drunk in Epcot center. We did a drink from every country. Hannah didn’t know what Epcot was, so I told her I was going to take her to England, and so I brought her to England inside of Epcot.
C: I was friendly will Hannah when she was with Ben (English), but I don’t have contact with her anymore because I only had his contact info, which of course she was using too at the time. So what were you doing up so early? Are you in a sexy mood when you wake up? Do you have wild sex?
M: I have sex, but not wild. I’m too tired for that.
C: The AVN Awards are coming up right after this issue comes out and you are up for a quite a few! Best Crossover Star.
M: It’s an honor to be in that category with those people. I only did one movie last year and I am nominated for it, so that’s cool.
C: The Mary Carey Experience is the one you are talking about it’s up for Best Interactive DVD. So you obviously are going to the AVN Awards and convention.
M: I don’t know where I am signing yet. But I know I will be presenting an award.
C: I know you have been working out to tone up, and you have lost weight and you got your teeth done. You look amazing. Before you were the gorgeous girl next door, now you are the all grown up porn star. What are you calling yourself? Mary new and improved? Mary reinvented? This year’s newest model? Mary Carey 2.0?
M: I guess everyone changes up their look once in a while.
C: You do look so different.
M: I was down in Florida and I saw Eric (her ex husband), he’s like you look sick, you are doing drugs. Then he told me I looked like Mr. Burns.
C: Who is Mr. Burns?
M: From the Simpsons! (Laughs)
C: Your legs look fabulous.
M: That’s with help of Ballet at Pine crest High School. I went over there but they were closed but a janitor let me in and there was still a plaque hanging on the wall with my name on it for winning awards for dance. I thought for sure they would take my name down.
C: How long ago did you start this mission of change? What made you want to do it?
M: Back in June after the Presidents dinner, Eric said something about my teeth. And I’m thinking they do look kinda weird sometimes. Plus I was always planning on getting my hair extensions done like Tawny’s. So I did those. And Tawny had her teeth done along time ago, so I decided to get my teeth done too.
C: Did it hurt?
M: It doesn’t really hurt that much.
C: Don’t they have to sand down all your real teeth?
M: Yeah, your real teeth look like little sticks. It looks scary.
C: So they stick a new tooth on the little stick?
M: Exactly. And they glue it. I have to get three of them redone still but I’ve been putting it off, because it would not be fun to go through again. Then I quit my birth control, which helped me lose weight. Then I stopped eating Taco Bell. I mean me and Tawny used to get really drunk and then go to Taco Bell at 2:00AM every night.
C: That’s really bad.
M: Tawny didn’t eat a lot during the day. I would eat like a normal person during the day and then her and I would eat three bean and cheese burritos. I didn’t realize she was just eating burritos, and that’s about it. I was eating normal meals during the day and then the burritos. We were drinking a lot. That was about the time the Timberwolves flew us to Minnesota to party, they gave us a nice room.
C: That’s basketball?
M: Yeah. I am into basketball. I just love watching it. I love all the attention I get at the games. C: So what else did you do to tone up?
M: Me and Tawny started doing colonics together.
C: Ewwww. You went somewhere and had them done? You let some stranger stick a plastic tube up your ass? Wasn’t that embarrassing?
M: Uhm, no. Tawny had been going there for a year or two. And I went with her. I don’t usually put things up my butt…
C: Yeah I know that about you.
M: It wasn’t that bad.
C: So describe what they do. They stick a tube up your butt with hot soapy water in it?
M: I think it’s some sort of water. And they fill you up. Everyone’s body holds on to 10-30 pounds of waste. This cleans out the waste that is sticking on the sides of your colon.
C: You mean they clean the poo out.
M: I don’t really know that much about it. Some people say it’s good for you some say it’s bad.
C: Your skin looks really good, and that most have something to do with it.
M: My skin actually isn’t as good as it was since I quit the birth control. When you quit your hormones become unbalanced.
C: I think you’re unbalanced anyway! (Cracks up) Are you running for Lieutenant Governor of California?
M: I think I am going to run for Governor. I’m going try. It’s a lot harder to get on the ballot because you need so many thousands of votes. I am going to take this more serious though. Last time I was a lot younger and my Publicist came up with a lot of the ideas. This time I want to run it on my own and come up with my own issues. I want to deal with it on serious terms, not on silly things.
C: I think you should do both, that’s how you got all the press.
M: Well I’ll still be silly me.
C: What is the wackiest thing you did lately?
M: I’m friends with Dr Dre’s crowd. I went and hung out at the studio with them and I got up on the music equipment, the soundboard. I was drunk and I was loving the music. I was doing splits and stuff. I fell backwards down to the floor and got all bruised up.

Webquest Demands A Retraction

Webquest lawyer Gene Williams says neither Webquest nor LFP have any intention of cancelling their contract.

Ben writes me: "Why do people send threatening letter to you? You have no money. You might be Jewish but you are broke and you have no family connections to open a deli or jewerly store. Webquest should have made a donation instead of hiring a lawyer to someone who has no physical address to be served the notice. I thought I saw you standing in front of Gene Ross's cardboard box holding a cup."

Jan writes: "When are people going to figure out that threatening you with lawsuits doesn't work? They are like bullies on the schoolyard."