Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Email Luke Archives Photos Stars Essays Search Luke Is Back.com Advertise on Lukeisback Suze Randall Suze Video Feb 20 Black Chicks On Set FOXE Awards
Mary Carey Breaks Up With Tawny Roberts
Their marriage is off.
Mary calls me from LAX at 2:49 pm. She says Tawny threated to kill her. She says Tawny claimed to have hooked up with her boyfriend Harold.
I left Tawny a message to get her side of things.
Mary: "Tawny Roberts is psychotic and bipolar. I will never talk to her again."
Luke: "What happened?"
Mary: "I want to go to sleep. She stays up for three days at a time. She lies. She says that Harold tried to have sex with her. She just wants me back to being with her only.
"I knew I shouldn't have brought her out to see me. I missed her. I've realized that when I was hanging out with her, I went downhill. When I stopped hanging out with her, I've gone uphill.
"She's on a downward spiral. The dance agents won't book her. She's not with Vivid anymore. The only thing she has left to do is be a hooker."
Luke: "When did you guys break up?"
Mary: "Yesterday. A couple hours after we talked to you, my dance agent called me. She went ballistic on him. Then she said to me, 'It turns out I lied to you. Harold and I went to a strip club. We didn't want to tell you. Harold did this and that.' I believe Harold did do some of the stuff she said.
"I'm contemplating pressing charges against her because she threatened to kill me. Over the phone, she said, 'I'm going to kill you, bitch. I'm going to kill you.'
"I talked to Kendra Jade. Kendra said, 'I told you to stay away from her.'"
Luke: "Did she have sex with your boyfriend?"
Mary: "You can ask him."
She gives the phone to Harold.
Harold: "Tawny's just crazy, lying, telling Mary I was trying to hook up with her."
Mary: "Hopefully Tawny's boyfriend Marvin Jones Jr can help her out."
Mary and Tawny called me four times between 3 am - 6 am PST Monday. "We have a right to be f----- up," said Tawny. "I am going to Africa."
They made some minor corrections to my Saturday night transcript.
Sasha Cohen
Sasha Cohen dazzled the judges and slipped past Irina Slutskaya of Russia by a slim margin on the first night of women's figure skating.
Alexandra Pauline Cohen, named after her mother's favorite ballerina, was born on October 26, 1984. Sasha's mother is of Ukrainian heritage and a former ballerina. Because of her mother's descent, Sasha is able to speak Russian. She even translated competitor Viktoria Volchkova's interview responses from Russian to English at the 2001 Trophée Lalique competition.
Alyssa West Hooking While Pregnant
She advertises on Craigslist. She's already been popped and got three years probation.
Dan Beck Vs. Paul Allen
I hung out with Dan at the Nightmoves show in Florida last October. He was videotaping stuff for his satellite porn channel.
Dan calls me Tuesday afternoon. "He said, 'I have those releases. I just found them on my desk.'
"I said, it's too late now. It's not timely any more.
"He said, 'You only sent me two or three emails and you only called me two or three times.'
"I said, 'I'm out $2,400. What kind of excuse is that?'"
Paul Allen replies:
As you know, the NightMoves Tampa Show has been going strong for 14 years. We have had the biggest names in the adult entertainment industry participate in our 5 day extravaganza and we are proud of our reputation and history (including the fact that we gave the following stars their very first awards: Jenna Jameson, Gina Lynn, Serenity and the blockbuster movie Pirates, to name a few). We were glad that you were able to make your first trip to sunny Florida last year and would love to see you return this year. We have had numerous videos and films produced here at our show over the years including award nominated videos by GM Video and Seymore Butts' controversial "Tampa Tushy" to mention just two. We have been featured in AVN, HBO, Showtime and the Playboy Channel.
I'm not very happy with Mr. Beck. This guy was supposed to pay me BEFORE he shot one minute of video - just like everybody else who has ever shot at my show. However, this bozo conveniently didn't bring his checkbook to Florida. Now, seeing that he did pay for his own transportation and hotel expenses, I let him shoot on the promise he would send me a check as soon as he returned home (as usual being the nice guy I get screwed). While at the show, he caused a ton of bulls---, as many stars were very uncomfortable with his lack of class and professionalism. More than once, I threatened to take back his credentials and ban him (and his camera crew) from my events.
To be honest with you, Luke .... I was holding back all of my releases because I didn't trust the guy to pay me. Well, I have had the releases sitting on my desk since October and I finally decided to call Mr. Beck this afternoon after not hearing from him for so long. Since November, he called me one time and sent me two e-mails (both in November). In one e-mail he stated, "Once we get all the releases I will pay you. I had a great time and it was a great event. The footage was excellent as well". The other e-mail was him asking me to send him video that my crew shot at a charity car wash event - Dan's crew couldn't get out of bed that morning! Well, here's a guy I don't trust for one minute and I'll be damned if I send him one release (or video) without receiving payment!
Now I find out that after we talked, this asshole contacts you talking s---! He can't discuss things with me, he has to call you? I better not see one second of footage from my show that he shot ANYWHERE. I will sue him for damages quicker than he can remember where his checkbook is! I don't need this amateur coming to Tampa or spreading rumors about me or my show.
Thanks for giving me a chance to tell my side of this story. See you in October for our 14th Annual Awards Show!
Dan emails me:
Enclosed is the contract Paul Allen signed as you can see he clearly was due no funds until after we were to receive the releases further more Paul did speak to me about my behavior until he realized he had mistaken me for Porno Dan then he apologized for the mistake. It is easier to toss out false allegations and excuses than say yes Dan I am sorry I forgot to send you the releases in a timely manner and I made a mistake or I got busy. It takes a man to admit when he is incorrect. I didn't forget my checkbook Paul was simply not due the funds until we received the releases. paul has an email version of the contract too when he checks his e mail let's see if he is man enough to apologize again. our network currently holds the broadcast rights to over 800 adult titles in our channels library. If Paul would like his footage back I would be glad to ship it to him COD in exchange for the $ 2,400 we spent sending a crew to his insignificant convention. If he truly cared about his reputation and what is right that's the least he could do.
I looked at the contract and there's nothing about payment in advance.
Paul Allen writes:
The negotiations between Dan Beck and myself did not happen overnight. We decided to use his "standard" contract. Numerous contracts were sent and I rejected more than one. He used an old, recycled contract that had nothing to do with my show, it had multiple scratches, omissions and mistakes. He knew that monies were due and he knew that I had the releases during the show dates, ready to give him in exchange for payment. Look, I'm done playing games with this guy and I have better things to do than play "he says she says". I stand by what I said and Mr. Beck can believe what he wants to believe. PS - It was him and his camera crew (in addition to Porno Dan) who we talked to about their behavior.
Desiree (Tylers Talent) Returns From Iraq, Enters Porn
I call her Monday afternoon, Feb 20. She's just finished dinner.
For a tough chick, she has a tiny voice and I can barely pick it up on my tape recorder.
Luke: "What prompted you to get into the porn industry?"
Desiree: "It was something that I've always wanted to do."
I hear that a lot. How could someone always want to get into porn? From age five?
Luke: "Really? Since what age?"
Desiree: "Nineteen. I just never had the balls to do it. I'm older now. I really don't care what too many people think about what I do."
Luke: "Did you watch a lot of porn as a teenager?"
Desiree: "I watch some with my brothers."
Luke: "Did you love it?"
Desiree: "It's OK. I've always wanted to be a model but that industry is so competitive and hard to get into."
Luke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"
Desiree: "A doctor."
Luke: "What did your parents expect you to become?"
Desiree: "Whatever I wanted to be."
Luke: "What kind of crowd did you hang out with in highschool?"
Desiree: "Jocks. I ran track. I was on the pom pom team."
Luke: "How did you get sent to Iraq?"
Desiree: "I was in the Army [for four years] and it was our unit's turn to go."
Luke: "Why did you sign up with the Army?"
I think she says she didn't know what else to do. She signed up at age 20. She was a fulltime soldier for four years. She was a parachute packer.
Luke: "Did you ever pack someone's parachute incorrectly and they dropped and it didn't open?"
Desiree: "No."
Desiree did 32 jumps.
Her unit went to Kuwait in May 2004 and then to Iraq in October. They left Iraq in May 2005. Desiree got out of the Army in July 2005.
Luke: "How was your experience of Iraq?"
Desiree: "It's not something I want to go through again. That's why I got out [of the Army]. Not a lot of good things happened over there. I had friends get killed."
Luke: "Were you scared most of the time you were there?"
Desiree: "At first, yes. But not after getting used to things."
Desiree says she had no sex in Iraq.
Luke: "Was Kuwait party central?"
Desiree: "No. You don't have to worry about people shooting you or a bomb blowing up."
Luke: "Do you think it was a bad idea for the US to invade Iraq?"
Desiree: "Very much so. We have an asshole for a president. I don't think Iraq had anything to do with 9/11. If we're looking for Osama, why are we in Iraq?"
Desiree has done some magazine shoots and a boy-girl shoot for Icy Porn.
Luke: "What are your ambitions?"
Desiree: "To go as far as I can in this industry without falling on my face."
Luke: "How do you think your friends and family are going to react when they find out you're in porn?"
Desiree: "They're going to be pissed. I'm 25. I can't live for my family. Nobody else is going to pay my bills and take care of my son."
Luke: "How do you think it is going to affect your love life?"
Desiree: "I don't think it will. Not everybody watches porn. Not everybody will know who I am."
Luke: "Are you scared?"
Desiree: "I'm scared of failure."
Luke: "What do you like to do in your spare time?"
Desiree: "Go shopping. Go bowling. Play with my son (6yo)."
Luke: "How are you going to explain to your son how mommy became a porn star?"
Desiree: "When he gets older. If it never comes up, it never comes up. If he asks me, I'll tell him. I had to do what I had to do."
Luke: "Have you experienced racism?"
(I remember once I asked a Holocaust survivor -- I didn't know he was that old and had gone through that -- if he'd ever experienced anti-semitism.)
Desiree: "I'm from the North. Going to the South and dealing with a club in North Carolina, where I live... They can't say, 'Blacks can't come here.' But they have ways of weeding us out of there even though gangs aren't a problem. They do it to keep the blacks out of there."
If we didn't have such confiscatory capital gains taxes in this country, nobody would have to do porn.
Who's Going To Clean Up This Romantic Gesture?
When I walked through the door last night, red and pink rose petals were scattered across the vestibule and up the stairs to the bedroom. How inconsiderate can one man get? I could have slipped and broken my neck! Fortunately, the cloying, sickly-sweet odor of roses gave the petals away, and I was able to spot them before my heel slipped...
...Every year it's the same insensitive disregard all over again.
Like, couldn't he at least have put a plate under the chocolate he left on my pillow? Chocolate stains, you know. Doesn't he realize that these are 400-count percale sheets?
We have a dog, for God's sake, and every responsible dog owner knows that chocolate is poisonous to dogs. Did Luke want to spend an evening getting Poe's stomach pumped? Did he want Poe to die?
Sometimes it seems like all he ever thinks about is himself.
Oh, and the lit candles surrounding the bathtub: real nice touch. Hot wax drips, and eventually hardens, until you have to practically take a chisel to it to get it off and risk gouging the acrylic surface. The two-person bathtub was Luke's idea, as I recall. I was perfectly content with just the shower stall. In fact, that's what I use, oh, about 100 percent of the time. If it were up to me, I'd use that dumb tub to store cleaning supplies and spare towels. But I guess it will eventually help the resale value of our home, if we can find a couple that's into that sort of thing.
Why can't Luke and I have a normal Valentine's Day like most people?
If there were one thing I could change about Luke, it would be his annoying habit of always putting his own desire to treat me with overwhelming love and compassion ahead of anybody else's feelings. There are other people in the world, you know!
Sometimes, when Luke's on one of his "I love you" tears, I feel like locking myself in the bathroom and wedging myself between the tub and toilet until it blows over. Because the next thing I know, I'm on a moonlit carriage ride the night I was hoping to hit the hay early and get up and have the oil changed before work.
Crissy writes: "Luke, Aww come on, rose petals? That should be held for someone who loves you as much as you love them. I thought you were trying to get over Holly? I do understand why you keep her around, she fills your column for you."
XXX says: "Before I met her, I hated her. I figured she was part of the vapid sex-positive backslappers. Then she turned out to be a genuine aware person. Her self-promotion seemed relentless but in wake of what has come since, she's restrained. It's tacky when artists are their own best mouthpieces."
Susie asks: Are You a Marryin' Fool?
The Return Of Luc Parry
Not to porn, but he's writing online on MySpace:
Friendster ... MySpace ... these sites used to be about staying in touch with old friends, or making new friends with friends of friends, or just scouring the planet for that one other soul who loves Explosions In The Sky. It's since become that amazing new game, "I have more friends than you have!" It's ridiculous how much time people spend here. Silly. Time spent "meeting" people online when there are hundreds of thousands of people outside your door, waiting to be met. Having a self-indulged self-esteem trip everytime you add a new friend. Amassing friends online is like having a huge jar of pennies that no bank will cash in. So that's my rant. It's not that I don't like MySpace or Friendster, they're all fine and good, whatever. It's just that time is better spent doing real stuff, meeting real people, giving someone a sincere compliment, in person, rather than a personal comment for the world to enjoy. Interesting social dynamic, but if it doesn't make its way into the real world -- it's just fantasy. And again, fantasy is good and all -- but I'd rather make the fantasy real offline. Online, it's just a few 1s and 0s.
I was looking at Holly Randall's myspace page and then clicked on Beatrice's profile and then saw Luc's photo and remembered him.
I asked Luc what was the score. He replied: "Porn just wasn't my scene. I'm not "that" guy; I'm a relationship, homebody type of guy. No regrets about trying it, but one's got to be honest about who they are, and who/what is good for them. Civilian life is vastly underrated."
Kendra Jade Shoots For Suze Randall Tuesday
Luke: Shoot today with holly?
Kendra Jade: Yes. Driving there now
Kendra Jade: I'm great , tired. Going to bed at 4
Luke: why so late?
Kendra Jade: Waking up at 6 30
Luke: You got a facial peel [four day ago]? How do you look?
Kendra Jade: Cuz my roomate [Cassidey] was being lousy and I couldn't
sleep
[Luke: Cassidey, the ex-Vivid girl, had a huge fight with her boyfriend
who does not want her to pose nude anymore. The boyfriend won the fight.
Cassidey was supposed to shoot with Kendra today for Suze but she cancelled
at the last minute and Suze just shot two sets of Kendra alone.]
Kendra Jade: Yeah I did. Its great. Good for your ski. You should get
one
Kendra Jade: I like your convos with mary carey
Kendra Jade: No driver. I'm driving
Luke: When was your last porn shoot? stills shoot?
Kendra Jade: I don't shoot porn
Kendra Jade: And stills I have only shot for my website. But no hardcore
Luke: what's your main website?
Kendra Jade: I haven't shot nudity since I shot porn
Luke: I'm concerned about Mary's drinking. I hope you don't drink like
her.
Kendra Jade: I would never drink that much
Luke: A lot of girls cry with Earl
Miller.
Kendra Jade: But yeah I wish she'd quit
Kendra Jade: Yeah earl can be tough
Kendra Jade: He shoots good pix but he's not the easiest person to pose
for
Luke: How's your house shaping up?
Kendra Jade: Hard to feel confident in front of him
Kendra Jade: My house is beautiful you should come see it
Kendra Jade: Sorry about the typing , I'm driving at same time
Luke: R u having roommate trouble?
Kendra Jade: Come to my shoot today
Luke: Your typing is better than normal.
Kendra Jade: No I love my roomate she's awesome
Luke: Holly does not allow that. No visitors on her sets.
Kendra Jade: Oh, I didn't know that
Kendra Jade: Maybe we can all eat after the shoot or something
Luke: Suze is going to shoot you.
Kendra Jade: Yes
Luke: yes, that would be fun. Or if you guys want to get coffee or anything.
Kendra Jade: I'm really excited actually
Kendra Jade: I went to see suze years ago and she wouldn't shoot me
Kendra Jade: But I didn't look the same then
Luke: cool, you looked great when I saw you at sardo's.
Kendra Jade: I don't blame her. I age like wine
Luke: Yeah, you are not the typical model look.
Kendra Jade: Far better now than 5 years ago
Kendra Jade: Not at all
Kendra Jade: And especially now. I look wayyyyyy different
Luke: since I saw you last? What is your hair?
Kendra Jade: And I take better care of myself now
Luke: Are you working out?
Kendra Jade: My hairs dark , my natural back with highlights
Kendra Jade: Always working out
Kendra Jade: And I still dance a lot
Kendra Jade: My body wasn't great when I was doing porn. I was kinda ...errr.....
fat.
Luke: what do you weigh now?
Kendra Jade: 110. I was about 125 when I was shooting. But I want to weigh
95. I'm 5'1". Nicole Richie weighs 95 and she's perfect, same height
as me. I love her body
Kendra Jade: Have you ever done drugs luke?
Luke: never
Luke: Holly drinks and she's a pothead
Kendra Jade: Smoked a cigarette ?
Luke: yes
Kendra Jade: How often do you drink?
Luke: only a mouthful on religious occasions -- required.
Kendra Jade: I don't smoke pot. Tried it twice , got sick both times
Luke: I never drink for pleasure.
Kendra Jade: Yeha I know that luke duh
Kendra Jade: I don't drink for pleasure either
Luke: OK, afraid you'd forgotten. Ever hear from Nice
Jewish Girl?
Luke: Yes you do.
Kendra Jade: Always
Kendra Jade: We're friends
Kendra Jade: No I dont. I drink for escape but it doesn't give me pleasure
Luke: how is NJG? She's married?
Kendra Jade: She is, yes, and happily married too
Kendra Jade: I want to get married. Have to have a boyfriend first tho
Luke: how can you drive and type?
Kendra Jade: Baby steps
Kendra Jade: I'm talented. I'm not like most porn chicks
Kendra Jade: I can do more than one thing at a time
Kendra Jade: Do you want to marry holly ?
Luke: I won't touch that one.
Kendra Jade: Does she want to marry you ?
Kendra Jade: Would she convert
Luke: No to both
Kendra Jade: Then you can't marry her. Poor lukey.
Kendra Jade: Ok I'm almost pulling up at hollys anyway
Kendra Jade: You should call and she if she's down to get coffee or something
after
Kendra Jade: I'm going to catch lobsters tonight in the ocean on a boat.
It's called hooping.
Luke: Nah, it never works for me to ask holly to anything. She'll call
if she wants to see me today or whenever.
Kendra Jade: I'll ask Holly. I'd like to see u and catch up
Luke: it did not come from me!
2:45pm. HollyRandall: I'm so bummed. I was going to shoot Kendra in the
2nd set but I'm really not feeling well so my mom is going to do it. I
have to do the interview and striptease.
Luke: What questions do you ask? Where can I watch your interviews?
HollyRandall: Suzevideo.com. Dumb porno questions, like "What's your favorite
position?" Not the deep, intellectually probing questions that you ask.
It only lasts five minutes.
Luke: what's your favorite position?
HollyRandall: Anything where I don't have to be on top because I'm lazy.
Kendra blogs on MySpace Feb 16:
I went to spend some time with a guy friend I hadnt seen in a long time. Not a date , just a night spent drinking tequila , and laughing our asses off , listening to phenomenal music , and eating breakfast somewhere before falling asleep ( finally ) around noon!! Proceeded by waking up at 2 pm , getting showered and ready to go see a friend's show later in the evening.
Still drunk when I awoke, and I continued drinking last night at the show and after the show , followed by coming home alone , listening to some great music I had been given earlier in the evening and somehow during all of that , still pondering the meaning of life and wondering where the fuck I'm going!
I have been drunk 4 out of 7 nights this week. And I dont mean drunk , like buzzed. I mean drunk like DRUNNNKKKKKK. I dont normally drink at all , which is the complete ironic part of all of this. I hate drinking! I hate being around drunk people. Valentines day simply encourages alcoholism. Especially if you are single and not neccessarily thrilled about it !
Also , WTF is up with guys lately anyway?! I mean , I love men, I really do , but why is it that I have just run into every single liar , cheater , fake or commitment-phobe on the planet?! Do I have a magnet on my head just screaming out : " Completely use-and abuseable!".
Tara writes:
The night also marked the resurfacing of 70s porn idol, Serena, and more stangely, the surprise appearance of mid 90s busty vixen, Tianna Taylor, who interrupted the onstage speeches of Christy Canyon, Ron Jeremy, and Lexington Steele, whom she mistook for Sean Michaels. This case of mistaken ID led to a comment from Steele about watching the latest adult videos to stay current with talent names and a sarcastic reply from Taylor that she,"was up there ten years ago, honey!"
Christy Canyon was broasted at the event and fans and her fellow adult co-stars, such as Alicia Del Rio and Ron Jeremy, paid tribute to the legend. Christy was gifted with flowers, photos, and other gifts from fans. Alicia Del Rio sat on Christy's lap and thanked her for encouraging her to pursue a career in adult entertainment, in a somewhat rambling speech that was initially disrupted by Tianna Taylor. Alicia ended her speech by asking Christy for a french kiss, which she politely declined explaining that she had a cold. Ron Jeremy, the first male performer to ever work with Christy on film, read a poem to Christy in which he paid tribute to her double D cup breasts.
Let Me Tell Ya About Black Chicks - They Desire The Consolation of Philosophy
Teri Moniica Teri Moniica Teri Moniica Lady Armani Lady Armani Lola Lane Lola Lane Lola Lane Lady Armani Lady Armani Lady Armani Lady Armani Lola Lane Ron Sullivan after three excruciating weeks of chemo Ron, Lola Belle D'Leon the Lesbian Leone Leone Leone pic Lady Armani pic Tinker Bell Tinker Bell Silky Black, Lil Bbab, Moniica light joints Silky, Baby, Moniica Bell, Moniica Moniica Lil Baby Lil Baby Moniica Moniica Silky Black Silky Black Silky Moniica Moniica Moniica Moniica Lil Baby Lil Baby Lil Baby Silky Black Silky Black Silky Black Anthony Anthony Girls, Bill Diehl Girls, Bill Diehl Ron Sullivan Ron Sullivan Ron Sullivan Ron Sullivan Lil Baby, Belle Lil Baby Lil Baby Girls, Bill Diehl Girls, Bill Diehl
Once a week I drive to a porn set to teach literacy. I want to be the Stand and Deliver hero for the 21st Century. Today my students began a new book.
In porn for a year, Moniica's done 20 scenes.
As I start chatting with Lady Armani, I whip out my digital tape recorder.
"Damn, that was fast," she says.
"That's what all the ladies say," I reply.
There's an easy camraderie (and usually more alcohol and good bud) on black sets that is often missing from the more uptight white variety.
In porn for five years, Lady Armani moved from Florida to Los Angeles 18-months ago.
I walked in on the shoot and wondered who was the frail, nearly-bald, old man with the camera. It turned out to be Ron Sullivan, who's halfway through his chemotherapy.
He sucks on a rag in his mouth. Then he pulls it out and mumbles to the seven girls on the bed, "Now you're starting to get nasty. That looks good. Play with her asshole."
Ron's wife Delores is helping out today behind the scenes. She requests a condom. Lady Armani gives up her only one from her purse.
"You might need to keep that for a john on the way home," says photographer Bill Diehl.
"I don't do that," says Lady Armani starchly.
Lola Lane has natural 34F-cup breasts, not that I looked.
They sprouted when she was nine but no fella got to touch them until she was 15, when she lost her virginity.
"It was horrible growing up [in Inglewood] with big breasts, particularly in elementary school where you were the only girl with boobs. Guys would be overly playful. They'd keep trying to touch them. I was kinda ashamed and wore big shirts. It was only in highschool that I started to feel secure. My cousin and my friend went away for the summer and they came back with big boobs."
After turning 18, Tory went to college, gave birth to a boy, and worked as a manager at Nordstroms. At 23, she started posing naked. She's never been married.
"I've had the same boyfriend I've had since I started doing movies. In the beginning it was not a problem. I think the fan mail is what got to him, going to the conventions...made him think, my girl really does movies."
Luke: "How did your family react when you got into porn?"
Lola: "They didn't say much because I'm such a normal girl other than this. I'm always having family and friends over to my house. I'm always entertaining. I'm a dinner party girl. I go to church. I go camping.
"The only person I'm not sure knows is my mom because she's not a worldly person. But my grandmother knows. Aunts, sisters, cousins."
Luke: "Did they tell you when you were a kid, 'Lola, you're going to grow up to be a porn star one day'?"
Lola: "My grandmother said, 'You always wanted to be on TV.' But I wanted to be a director. As a child, I did all the auditions and the charm school and stuff like that so she felt that I always wanted to be famous. She sees my little fliers from when I do my autograph signings and my posters.
"They don't look at me any different."
Luke: "What do you love and hate about the porn industry?"
Lola: "I love that I've met a lot of interesting people that I would not have known.
"What I hate about the industry is the prejudice. The black girls really don't get as far in the industry as white girls. They'll choose one black girl and send her flying and the other black girls, whatever.
"The guys sometimes think it's not a job. They think you want to be doing them in the bathroom and on the set and after you get dressed. It's not like that. For me, it's a job. I look at myself as a real actress. When it's over, it's over. When I go home, I don't hang out with porn people. I don't do drugs. I don't drink and all the stuff that comes with it."
Luke: "Is there any difference between working in white movies and working in black movies?"
Lola: "Yes."
White movies tend to have bigger budgets.
"Some of the white guys are horn devils too, but they're so excited about even being with you that usually the scene is better. Sometimes black guys get intimidated by black girls and they do better scenes with white girls."
I ask the tall big girl for her name. "Tinker Bell," she says.
I ask the next girl for her name.
"Lady Armani," she says.
"Sorry. I didn't recognize you naked."
She laughs. "Did you mean that?"
"Yes."
Satisfaction says she was asked to the FOXE awards last night but the guy "only wanted to f--- me. Sunday is my family day."
Luke: "I don't think it was The Consolation of Philosophy that was on his mind."
Belle D'Leon, a highschool basketball player, has been in porn for two weeks. She says it would take $10,00 for her to do a guy on camera.
"I don't hate men. I just don't want to have sex with them."
She's considered herself a lesbian since 15.
Lil Baby's boyfriend Anthony hangs out on set. He's a hairdresser. He drives his girl to a lot of sets but does not work in porn.
Luke: "Did you get her into the industry? Did you say, 'Bitch! Get to work!'"
Anthony: "No."
Lil Baby: "Not one bit."
Anthony: "She just wanted to have a little fun with it anyway. She got in a couple of months ago and she's been working almost every day."
Luke: "You wipe her off after every scene?"
Anthony: "Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. Wax her down."
Luke: "Does she tell you, 'Even though I was having sex with that guy, I was thinking about you'?"
Anthony: "All the time."
Luke: "'Even when I was getting pronged in every hole, I was thinking about you, baby.'"
Anthony: "Yeah, everything."
Luke: "Do you wipe the man's seed off her face afterwards?"
Lil Baby: "No, he don't do that."
Luke: "You don't feel jealous?"
Anthony: "Oh no, I'm not a jealous man. That's what's so good about me."
Luke: "You'll hunt 'em down and kill them in a few weeks."
Anthony: "No. I'd congratulate them before I'd do that."
Luke: "How has it affected your relationship?"
Anthony: "It makes it better. It makes it more interesting. It makes things more exciting."
Luke: "After a hard day's work?"
Anthony: "Her job is never done. She takes care of the home.
"Do you like watching this?"
Luke: "I don't like watching porn but I like interviewing people."
Silky has done eight movies.
Ron Sullivan's losing his voice. The chemo tears up his lymph nodes around his throat.
"I can take anything they dish out," says Ron.
A neighbor repeatedly peaks over the fence and Delores bustles around pulling down the shades.
HollyRandall: wow these pics are great
HollyRandall: Who's the agent of Lady Armani?
Luke: I had fun taking them
Luke: then I saw them and was disappointed
Luke: but maybe they are fun
Luke: The Consolation of Philosophy.
Luke: taking it to every set and to your house.
HollyRandall: you could do a photo book on it
Vilnia writes: "I agree wholeheartedly with Holly, your latest pics are great! Plus you have the "The Consolation of Philosophy" factor going on with the porn chicks. One can't find this type of hilarious stuff anywhere else!"
James DiGiorgio writes me:
Photographing pornstars with a copy of "The Consolation of Philosophy" in their hands is such a lame attempt to show-off your belief in your intellectual (and moral) superiority. putting it in the hands of black pornstars smacks of racism. your often-seen apparent enjoyment in touting whatever (so-called) intellectual book you're currently reading is fairly pathetic and displays a sense of intellectual insecurity. If you'd like to meet my friend, Ramon Menendez, the writer and director of "Stand and Deliver," when he returns -- I believe he's in Venezuela right now -- I can arrange to have Ramon and you on one of my sets sometime in the future. Maybe Ramon can teach you something about the true meaning of helping people (including yourself) gain knowledge.
Yes, I would like to meet Ramon. As for the rest of your email, it is pure drivel. Is your citing of your friendship with Ramon Menendez your lame attempt to show off your intellectual and moral superiority? If one wanted to view it that way, one could. I don't.
The idea of photographing beautiful nude models reading The Consolation of Philosophy comes from the famous book A Confederacy of Dunces. The protagonist discovers a postcard of a beautiful naked woman reading the master work of Boethius and it shakes him up.
I remember hearing about a man who's idea of the dream woman was a Playboy Playmate who studied Talmud.
These pictures would be just as funny if they were true -- if I really came across porn stars reading The Consolation of Philosophy. Plenty of porn stars have the intellectual curiosity to read such a book.
The only racism in the pictures comes from your desire to find racism in the pictures. The pictures would be just as funny if they were of white models (whether or not these models actually read such books).
As for my needing to show my intellectual and moral superiority, that is also nonsense. If I wanted to do that, this would be way too obvious a gag. But I don't need to demonstrate that. I've rarely claimed moral superiority to the people I write about. What makes my writing on the industry exceptional is my constant awareness of my own moral shortcomings. As for intelligence, I've been accused of many things, but few people have accused me of being dumb. It's not an issue. And if I needed to show my intelligence, I wouldn't do it on a blog about porn.
As for noting the title and author of books I bring on set -- that's an essential part of who I am. I carry a book with me everywhere. On average, I read several books a week. What I read on set can often create the mood for what I write that day. It's often an essential part of my story.
When Asia Carrera began performing, she took books on physics with her to the set. But after getting teased, she switched to Stephen King novels.
I'm not going to allow teasing to affect the books I carry with me or who I am and what I believe.
While I enjoyed Stand and Deliver, I know it was not true (that whole experiment ended in failure within a few years). The facts of the story it was based on are nothing like the story given on the screen. Only a moron consciously takes his values from movies and television.
I'd like to meet Ramon, just as I like to spend time with you, Jimmy, but not because I want to be instructed by you guys on how to tell the truth and how to help people acquire knowledge. I don't regard you guys as my moral leaders. I have my own moral leaders (and they don't make movies).
Incidentally, there's nothing "so-called" about the intellectual value of The Consolation of Philosophy or the other books I tout in my writing. If you have not read Consolation, then you are the poorer for it.
If there's an element of bad taste in my humor, then that is inherent to humor. As G.K. Chesterton said, "tasteful humor is like a chaste whore."
Jimmy's email reminds me of the REO Speedwagon song Tough Guys:
Spanky: "But what about your promise to the He-man woman-hater's club?"
Alphalpha: "I'm sorry, Spanky, I have to live my own life."
I'm sorry, Jimmy, I have to live my own life.
James DiGiorgio replies:
Hehehehehe... at the risk of getting into an "intellectual" pissing contest with you, i think if the rest of my email were "pure drivel," your response would and should have ended with that "pure drivel" statement. instead, you spend more than a dozen paragraphs justifying your position. did i touch a nerve?
As for "plenty of porn stars" having the intellectual curiosity to read works such as, "the consolation of philosophy," well, that's pure drivel. a smattering of pornstars? most certainly. plenty of them? niggah please.
Please note that i didn't accuse you of being dumb. i cited "intellectual insecurity," not a lack of intelligence, and those are two very different things.
BTW, I only mentioned being friends with ramon since you used "stand and deliver" as an analogy in your post. had you not done so you most-likey would never know that i'm friendly with ramon.
I also don't see how name-dropping ramon's name serves to show off any sense of my own intellectual or moral superiority. if i believe i am morally and/or intellectually superior to you or to anyone else i would use other sorts of examples than mentioning someone i happen to be friends with.
TBar writes me:
Good slammage on "Jimmy D". He really does seem to be a bored potshot artist. You covered lots of bases in your retort. Be curious to see how he responds to that. I'm guessing it's over.
The pictures are awesome. I too think you could make a great coffe table/photo book from this concept.
I think porn offers an inviting and expansive Savannah in which to explore racism and race relations. The fact that so much of the veneer of "normal" social interraction has been peeled away just by showing up on set can't be ignored.
Confereracy of Dunces is a great book. When you ride in cars do you often find yourself wondering if the person who ended up in the rear passenger seat has any idea the statistical peril they are placing themselves in?
Is it just me or does Christy Canyon still look pretty damn good. I'll admit I have a serious softspot for her as she was really my one and only porn crush. I was in my teens when I first saw her and I think it's probably no coincidence that I dig brunettes with big natural boobs.
Whatever happened to our pal Luc Parry or whatever that jack-asses name was? Did he tire of his Law degree carrying / "porn star" lifestyle? Maybe his orange popsicle colored agent wasn't doing her job. His blog was some of the most entertaining reading available on the internet.
Who is your guess as to the actual identity of Smelly Monkey? Is it as much of a mystery as it appears. The obvious guess is Wanker Wang. Any insights?
Chaim writes me:
More proof that Bush is an imbecile. He wants to hand over the operation of six of our most important ports - including New York's - to a company owned by the government of the United Arab Emirates (abu dabi, I think).
I know you love the guy, but let's face it - he's wrong in borders, wrong in immigration, wrong on this deal, wrong on the military.
Not that you care. F----- a beautiful young shiksa tends to depoliticize a man.
And you care less about the Jewish people, too. Already you are thinking of your pure Aryan children. Again, every time you kiss..., a Jewish woman sheds tears.
ScorpionKing writes:
I can't speak for the other Vivid girls (it took awhile before she did girl/girl if I remember), but she was OK with the fans. I met her a store signing at Virgin in NYC some years back and she was quite friendly. She took Polaroids with fans who bought one of her videos. However, I saw her at the East Coast Video Show VSDA and she was a little distant. Polite, but not as friendly as at the store. After the show she hung out with Bobby Vitale at Caesar's Palace with the rest of the porn crowd. She never seemed totally into the porn thing, even in her performances. Robby D seemed to coax a pretty good performance out of her in Sexual Misbehavior. Let me shut up before I sound even more like one of those drooling fanboys at ADT.
Porners Who Wanted To Be Accepted For Who They Are
I keep hearing from porn girls in particular about how difficult it is to sustain a relationship when you are doing porn. They decide that the lesson of their fractured relationships is to seek a guy "who will accept me for who I am."
Ninety nine percent of the time, it ain't gonna happen. Nobody but your mother (and most mothers will only do this for you when you're an infant) will love you no matter what you do. Nor should they. People have to earn their way in life. Being a porn star isolates you from the 99% of men who will treat a girl good. Being a pornographer will isolate you from 99% of women who will treat a guy good, unless you become rich. Then it will only isolate you from about 66% of women who will treat you good.
The solution is self-change. Others aren't going to change. Society isn't going to change so that it no longer thinks of porners as freaks. Once you've done porn, the majority of people who interact with you for the rest of your life will not treat you as a human being. They will look at you as an object, as "the porn girl."
How many relationships last in porn (particularly among performers)? Virtually none. How many healthy porn families are there? Virtually none. The decision to get into porn (with numerous exceptions) is a decision to destroy oneself (from which one can be reborn with hard work and help).
The individual has to decide whether easy money, fleeting fame and the shallow adoration of thousands is more important than several real relationships based on earned respect and common values.
The individual needs to work hard to fit in with good people. Good people don't give away their friendship. There's no happiness without relationships (platonic and romantic), which all take work and subjugation of self. Most porn friends aren't real friends. As Greg Dark says, heroin addicts believe they're in a family too.
I regard my time in porn as an embodiment of these laws rather than as an exception to them.
Juno writes: "GUNWITCH, a pickup artist, DECRIES self-pleasure to videos of OTHER PEOPLE fornicating...it makes the usually MALE watcher submissive, a beta, a submitter not a take-charge, go-getter in the real world. A beta will go to an event and watch others hook up while he does nothing, used to being the watcher of the scene and not an actor in the scene. He advocates starving oneself to get a HUNGER, a relaxed but evident sexual mindstate go-giver, like the woman is already dating him, naked on his couch...assumed rapport etc...being masculine in all great ways...this gets a woman in state if she is alone with you."
April Over At Pure Play Media Wants Me To Mention:
That PSK Tonight Benefits The Sankofa Center for African Dance & Culture.
HUH? Now if it benefitted the Caucasion Center for Dance I could understand it, maybe this is a center for black folks that can't dance or something...
Having been to a few porn star karaokes I'm kinda thinkin maybe they need a benefit night for pornstars who think they can sing, but can't.
Anyhow PSK tonight benefits this....ummmm.... cause, so go on out and sing so that some poor black child who can't dance might realize his dream of being on Soul Train.
A Lost Generation
Chloe Jones: Dead
Jill Kelly: Bankrupt
Anna Malle: Dead
Taylor Hayes: 3 Failed rehab stints, kids by different men, living out
of a cheap motel
M arc Wallice: HIV
Sky Lopez: Born Again only to be given up for adoption
Max Hardcore: Dying
Ashton Moore: Aging
Daisy: Seeking her sisters love and approval
Jenevive Jolie: Running from her past
Farrah: Facing her past
Wankus: Ruining our future
Monkey: In limbo
Serena Serena Serena Serena Sierra Sin, Miss Meadow Sierra Sin, Miss Meadow Jacklyn Lick Jacklyn Lick Jacklyn Lick Jacklyn Lick Jacklyn Lick Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Miss Meadow Felix Vicious Felix Vicious Sunny Lane, Gianna Lynn Sunny Lane, Gianna Lynn Devyn Devine Devyn Devine Gianna Sunny Lane Sunny Lane, Gianna Sunny Lane, Gianna Sunny Lane, Gianna Sunny Lane, Gianna Sunny, Gianna Tera Patrick Tera Patrick Tera Patrick Tera Patrick, Evan Seinfeld Tera, Evan Tera, Evan Tera Patrick, Evan Seinfeld Christy Canyon Christy Canyon Rachael Rain Flower Tucci Flower Tucci Flower Tucci Flower Tianna Taylor Tianna Taylor Tianna Taylor Tianna Taylor Tianna Taylor Tianna Taylor and date Randy Spears, girlfriend Ericka Lockett Ericka Lockett Flower Tucci, Sunny Lane Flower Tucci, Sunny Lane Flower, Sunny Flower, Sunny Flower Tucci Flower, Sunny (L-R) Lori Lust, Rachael Rayne, Flower, Sunny, Gianna girls Girls Girls Bethany Sweet Bethany Sweet Bethany Sweet Lori Lust, Bethany Lori Lust, Bethany Lori, Bethany Lori, Bethany Lori, Bethany Brooklyn, Quincy Brooklyn, Quincy Alexus Silver of Bang Bros Alexus Vixen Vixen Christy Canyon Alicia Rio Alicia Rio Christy Canyon, Alicia Rio Christy Canyon, Alicia Rio Christy, Alicia Alicia Rio Christy, Alicia Christy, Alicia, Bill Margold FOXE Awards
I who once wrote songs with joyful zeal
Am driven by grief to enter weeping mode.
My first industry event was the FOXE awards (on Hollywood Blvd) in February 1996.
Feb 19, 2006. 6:40 p.m. I jam a copy of The Consolation of Philosophy in the back of my bluejeans, swing my camera around my neck, and trudge through the cold to the entry of the Mayflower Club where I bask in the friendship of Bill Margold, Monstar, photographers JR, Dr X, Richie, and company.
I became aware of a woman standing over me. She was of awe-inspiring appearance, her eyes burning and keen beyond the usual power of men. Her name was Serena.
At the sight of her, the Muses of Poetry fled.
Monstar says my site has turned into the Holly Randall Fan Blog. He skips over my Holly stuff and "goes for the meat."
Bill reprimands me for writing about Ericka Lockett blowing her friend Brandon Irons in the parking lot across from World Modeling. "Sex is the least interesting thing to write about porn people," he says.
Margold and I reminisce about old times. We've had our disagreements but Bill's always been a father-figure to me.
"I brought you into this industry," he says.
I feel good to learn that everyone me is reading my column. When it is time for me to be inducted into that great FOXE Awards in the sky, I'll be able to argue that my work touched lives.
Margold describes Serena (who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area) as his second favorite porn star of all time, next to the love of his life Viper.
I ask Serena (ClassicPornSerena.com): "When was the last time you were at an industry event?"
Serena: "I don't know if they had events in my day."
She hasn't been back to an industry function since her retirement in 1982 (she began in Los Angeles in 1972).
Serena: "Bill has always been my best buddy. He's my big brother and you can't f--- your big brother."
They did one scene together. "We never really got off on each other. We've always gotten off on each other psychicly."
Luke: "Have you stayed in touch with him over the years?"
Serena: "I haven't until 1989 I called in the middle of the night, evidently, and talked to Viper. Viper and I started talking on the phone all the time and I got to know her before I got back with Bill. I just recently got back with Bill and now I'm here."
Serena hasn't stayed in touch with anyone from porn. "I lived with Jamie Gillis for a couple of years, until about 1980.
"Do you know how handsome you are? My God!"
Luke: "Thank you."
Serena: "It's nice being next to you."
I mention my memoir, Rebel Without A Shul.
Serena: "I'm a converted Jew. I converted to Judaism in 1996."
Luke: "Why?"
Serena: "My rabbi (Rami Shapiro) is extraordinary. I love him. He's Reconstructionist.
"My second husband is Jewish. I went along [after the marriage]."
Luke: "What kind of experience was it to convert to Judaism?"
Serena: "I've always been a little bit of everything. I was raised with so many different religions in my family. If you ever get a chance to pick up a book by Rabbi Rami Shapiro... He writes beautiful books. I'm a definite Reconstructionist. I'm beyond Reform. My politics are way over there too."
Luke: "How has it affected your life to become Jewish?"
Serena: "Really well. I'm very happy with it."
Luke: "Are you still married?"
Serena: "No. Unfortunately. I had to leave him. I did fall in love with somebody else. I still hold on to the Jewish faith. I was driving along the streets the other day with Bill. I don't know where I am. Everything's changed in Hollywood. He says, 'Where do you want to have lunch?' All of a sudden, I say, 'Canter's! I've got to eat at Canter's!' So we went to Canter's."
Serena says she observes the High Holidays. "Yom Kippur is distressing but I like all the meals."
Serena's first marriage ran between 1970-80 ("but I only lived with him for about four years, we were just lazy about getting the divorce"). She has a daughter who's almost 30 and lives in Las Vegas. The daughter was once a contestant in the Miss Florida. She has a daughter.
Luke: "Why did you get into the porn industry?"
Serena: "I wanted it because it was like... The hippies had started it. They were just ahead of me. I wanted to follow that enlightenment. I was a flower child. I really believed in it. I wanted to rebel against the establishment. I felt that doing something illegal was a good thing. I still do. That's kinda why I'm back because the government is so conservative right now. I feel like I have to make a stand."
Serena grew up in LA. "I moved to San Francisco because Berkeley was calling. It was my ideal. I went to New York and met Jamie Gillis and we lived in New York for a while."
Luke: "How has being in the industry affected your life?"
Serena: "It's always been a wonderful backdrop. I've never been ashamed of anything I've done. The only thing is is that I had my insides taken out. I had a hysterectomy. I'm pretty sure that that was the business that screwed me up. But aside from that... My daughter has her head screwed on straight. She has a beautiful daughter."
Luke: "How did your daughter deal with your being a porn star?"
Serena: "Well, her dad (Thomas) was too. I don't know if he had a stage name. He's in Honeypie. He was Johnny who comes marching home. I was the poor Southern belle with my black companion."
Luke: "Was she conceived on a porn shoot?"
Serena: "No, she was conceived on a floor in Toluca Lake. I remember exactly."
Luke: "How did your being a porn star affect your daughter?"
Serena: "She's always been a serious person, so I don't think it affected her much. She's always known exactly what she wanted and done exactly what she wanted. She had her own ideals."
Luke: "How did being a porn star affect your love life?"
Serena: "While it was going on, I was really interested in being a porn star because I didn't get any at home. I was always lonely at home but on the set I could f--- and I wasn't lonely. After I left the business, I was fine. I never took it mechanically. I was always into coming and having glorious orgasms."
Luke: "How did men react to your being a porn star?"
Serena: "My second husband [they were together 15-years, from 1984-1999] came after me because I was a porn star. I was dancing at the Mitchell Brothers' O'Farrell Theatre. He came to see a show. He was angling to get me. When I did get with him, he turned me against the industry. I fell for it because he was rich... He was very possessive. I lived that way for 15-years. Finally I had enough. I don't have my identity anymore. My identity was in my teens and early twenties."
Luke: "I don't understand. You didn't have your identity because you weren't a porn star anymore?"
Serena: "He had squashed me. He had changed my name. I just wasn't myself. He made me ashamed to be Serena. I could never introduce myself as Serena. It was like Patty Duke was Anna and they made her into Patty Duke. You can't do that with somebody."
Luke: "Hand in hand with love comes jealousy."
Serena: "Oh yes. Eight years later, he's still flipping out. I didn't mean to break his heart or ruin him or do anything. I've never felt guilty either. It just wasn't working for me.
"I have to go from one man to another. I learn a lot from each man that I'm with but I can't stay with someone for that long. One guy I'll stay with for four years, the next guy for five years, the next guy for 15-years, and they guy I'm with now, I've stayed with for seven years and we're still learning from each other. I'm perfectly happy. I'm a serial monogamist. I never cheat on anybody. I always learn from them. Eventually I just go on with my life. I'm hoping this is my last, but who knows?"
Luke: "How has being a porn star affected the way regular people interact with you?"
Serena: "I still get asked for autographs. People still recognize me because of my background."
Serena sees a hot waitress she met two days ago with Bill Margold. They hug.
Serena: "I've never ever had a [platonic] girlfriend except for Leah who was my best friend when I was four. I think it's because I was in the industry. I've had lesbian relationships. I'm bisexual. But I've never been able to hold a friendship with a woman. I've had friendships with men. Maybe I'm a man's woman."
Luke: "Maybe women feel threatened by you, that you might take their man."
Serena: "Maybe so. It's a shame.
"It was nice being a porn star. I was up on a pedastal the whole time. I've been up on a pedastal eversince. That's why I broke it off with my second husband because he had me on a pedastal all the time and I couldn't live up to it. Now I'm here and Bill is treating me like he is in awe of me. I'm hot s--- on buttered toast. It makes me feel good."
Luke: "How did your family react when you got into porn?"
Serena: "Not well at all. They said, 'Get out of the house.' I had a reunion with them years later [circa 1988].
I talk to John Douglas and Dave Michaels.
"There's Brian Sebastien," I say into my tape recorder. "He's good friends with Sandy Bullock."
"It's surreal having you recount every minute of our conversation," says John. "We'll start calling you Memento. You must have a tattoo on your body that says, 'Rob Spallone is a good guy.' Another one around your neck that says, 'Paul must die.'"
Chaim Amalek writes me: "Can you get me a date with Christy Canyon? We four (you and Holly) could double date. And don't tell me she's married. If she can screw guys on screen, she can double date."
John and Dave wander off to record more scintillating interviews.
I interview Miss Meadow, who's been in porn for three years.
Meadow: "I started doing amateur stuff in Spokane, Washington, when I turned 18."
Luke: "Why did you start doing that?"
Meadow: "My boyfriend and I were kinky and thought it would be fun. So I did it. I got discovered on the internet and brought down to LA. Eversince then, I've been coming back and forth. I live in Idaho (near Spokane) and here."
Luke: "How do your neighbors in Idaho react to your being a porn star?"
Meadow: "Obviously there's no one else in the area that does what I do. People are shocked. That's OK. My family knows now and they're cool with it.
"I don't go telling everybody. People who know me know. It's not like everyone [her Idaho town] says, 'There's a porn star.' I'm a totally normal person."
Luke: "What do you love and hate about the porn industry?"
Meadow: "I love the money. Any girl who says she's not in it for the money is lying. I hate a lot of things about it. The worse thing I hate is agents. I haven't had an agent in six months. They're pimps. You don't get to choose when and what you want to do. I hate having to wait for a check for a month-and-a-half from a big-ass company. The amateur people pay you then and there. I like doing that stuff better. I don't like doing big features."
Luke: "How has it affected your life?"
Meadow: "It has. I can't say it hasn't. It's affected my relationship with my boyfriend, but we're still together. The same boyfriend I had when I started. Our sex life became weird. I don't know how to say it. Jealousy is not an issue. There are other issues. Sex becomes desensitized. At my age, 21, I shouldn't feel like I've done everything.
"I have six brothers. I understand men just as well now. Men have different fetishes. I can't judge a guy because he pulls a bitch's hair and calls her dirty names because that's what gets him off. The guy can't help what gets him off."
Luke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"
Meadow: "A missionary nurse. I was raised Christian."
Luke: "Are you still a Christian?"
Meadow: "I believe certain things. I'm not not a Christian, but I don't go to church or anything."
Luke: "What happened?"
Meadow: "I grew out of it. My whole family's Christian. They didn't find out for a while. My mom is a little disappointed. She's a lot cooler than I thought she'd be. My dad, I haven't talked to him for years."
Luke: "What kind of crowd did you hang out with in highschool?"
Meadow: "I went to an alternative school. It was a lot of hippies and hicks and stoners. I'm still a stoner. I started smoking weed at 12 but I wasn't a true stoner until I was 14."
Luke: "What do you do in your spare time?"
Meadow: "I smoke weed. That's about it. I have a medical license for it. It's legal. You just go to a doctor and it's like $250. You tell him you have a certain problem, he doesn't care, and he gives you a license and you go to a pot store."
She says she doesn't worry about going to college or not. She says she's done only six scenes during her stay in LA. "I'm a lazy porn girl."
Serena walks around looking for the hot waitress.
I interview Felix Vicious, who got into porn four years ago.
Luke: "What do you love and hate about the porn industry?"
Felix: "I love the f------ and the money. I hate being pushed around by people who don't think I have a brain."
Luke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"
Felix: "I never had an idea. I didn't think about growing old. In the past couple of years, I decided I wanted to become an audio engineer."
Luke: "What kind of crowd did you hang out with in highschool?"
Felix: "The bad crowd [in Denver, Colorado]. The ones around the corner smoking cigarettes and ditching school, except that I didn't ditch school. A lot of punk rockers.
"My parents wanted me to follow in my brother's footsteps. He was a cop.
"In highschool, I got one F. I passed all my other classes and graduated with a 3.0 GPA. I got into porn at 18."
Luke: "How has porn affected your life?"
Felix: "Oh dear. It's taken a big toll on my life. I don't think I could ever have a normal relationship ever again where a guy isn't going to see me and say, 'Ohmigod, that's Felix Vicious. I know what she does for a living.' I've had to grow up really fast. Being 22, I shouldn't know some of the things that I do know."
Luke: "What's it like having a relationship while you're a porn star?"
Felix: "It's so f------- hard. I just got out of a relationship a couple of months ago. When we got together, he said, 'Everything's fine. I can accept it.' But after two years, it was working away at him. He was breaking up with me because of the porn. I quit doing goy-girl for a while but it still ate at him. It's more that you need to find a guy who can accept you for who you are rather than what you are."
Luke: "Have you dated within the industry?"
Felix: "No. I think that's my problem. Most cute porn guys are so taken.
"I can separate myself from the porn industry. I live down in Orange County and have a 9-5 job at Guitar Center. All my co-workers love it [that she's a porn star]. The day I got fired, they went out and found all of my movies. They all accept it...when I have to take time off to do a shoot."
Luke: "How did your family react to your getting into porn?"
Felix: "All my mom could say was at least I'm not a prostitute. She came out to Vegas last year with me and stayed with me and hung out with me. I think it opened her eyes, that I'm not just having sex. She's OK with it. She loves it. When I got the centerfold of Hustler, she took it to work [with the pages of spread-shots ripped out]."
I chat with director James Avalon. After I bait him long enough, he proclaims, "I am not gay. I have never had a gay experience, unlike Luke."
Luke: "How has being a famous porn director affected your personal life?"
James (married in the eighties for six years to a nude model who almost became a porn star until Anthony Spinelli talked her out of it): "Most people don't know that I'm a famous porn director. Aside from Barrett Blade calling me up from Barnes & Noble after reading The Big Book of Porn[: A Penetrating Look at the World of Dirty Movies by Seth Grahame-Smith] a little article on me. Aside from that, nobody has recognized me in public... In Ralphs, I look like I've just come from a surf session, like I've just walked off the beach."
Luke: "Don't you smell of ATM [ass to mouth]? How can you shoot ATM?"
James: "I learned from the master Vince Voyeur. The first ATM I shot was a DP gonzo for Bad Seed. I didn't even bring it up, just mentioned it. Lauren Phoenix was in the middle of doing a fiery DP scene and said, 'I want that thing in my mouth.' She did like four or five of them in a row."
Luke: "How did that make you feel?"
James: "I thought it was funny."
Luke: "You didn't think it was disgusting?"
James: "No. She was all cleaned out. They all clean themselves out before the scene, enemas, douches, showers, etc."
Luke: "That's why you went to college [Brigham Young University], so you could shoot ATM?"
James: "Yeah, there was a course in shooting ATM. All film schools should have courses on how to shoot porn."
Luke: "After you write a script, do you have to go to a lot of story meetings?"
James laughs. "Adam & Eve is an exception, but the other companies, [the attitude is] 'I'm sure if you wrote it it's good.' That's why Bustful of Dollars is about a porn director who gives his script to the guy who owns the video company, who takes it, puts it in his hand and says, 'OK, it looks like a script.' The director, played by Manuel Ferrara, says, 'Aren't you going to read it?' The owner says, 'I don't have to. I know that if you wrote it, it's going to be a piece of s---.'"
James (author of the 1990 science fiction novel Future X): "I was in a relationship for about ten years. She had a problem with it. She talked to her father who was a psychiatrist who said it was a form of entertainment. She talked to her brother. He turned out to be a fan."
Luke: "When did this relationship end?"
James: "About a year ago."
Luke: "Did you crawl into a fetal position in the shower and start crying, 'Why me?'"
James: "It ended not for the reasons you think."
Luke: "She got a restraining order?"
James: "No. She had ovarian cancer. The last five years of my personal life has been taken up with that."
Luke: "Are you able to date again?"
James: "It's not a high priority."
Luke: "Could you date a girl who did ATM?"
James: "I'd make sure she used mouthwash before she kissed me."
Luke: "Why are you in porn?"
James: "I am in filmmaking. I just happen to get successful and a lot of jobs in porn. And it's fun to do. I've always been attracted to the sexual act as a visual form."
Luke: "What sort of experiences did you have growing up with pornography?"
James: "I grew up Mormon, so I had none. The biggest thing on my mind was pussy. When you're Mormon, you grow up thinking sex is a bad. It's such a dark hidden secret, it becomes an attraction."
Luke: "Is James Avalon a man of faith?"
James: "No. I am a dedicated atheist. I pretty much became an atheist at BYU.
"I had a weird experience once. I thought I was in the presence of demons. I decided to confront them. Then I realized there weren't any.
"There's a certain honesty in Satan worship that you don't find in Christianity."
Luke: "How many women have you talked out of getting into porn?"
James: "Five or six."
Luke: "Maybe you will get to Heaven."
James: "But I won't get the 72 virgins unless I strap on some bombs."
Luke: "Why haven't you shot any Muslim-themed porn movies?"
James: "I just started thinking about doing that.
"I wrote a novel about a Muslim feminist terrorist organization that had discovered a chemical they could put in into a softdrink and it would incubate inside a human body over several months and with the right chemicals it could form a pressure bomb that could blow up half-a-block."
When James had threesomes with his wife, that meant him bringing another guy home. Usually nothing gay happened.
I interview Tianna Taylor who retired a decade ago.
Luke: "What brought you back tonight?"
Tianna: "I got that little bug. I'm turning 30."
Luke: "Have you missed the industry?"
Tianna: "A little bit. I'm a little disappointed in the AIDS. It's a whole different way of business. When I was in it in 1993, it was a small family. Now there are over a thousand talent [working on any given month in Los Angeles according to AIM]. I'm a little skeptical about what people do in their personal life. I'm here tonight to meet people."
Luke: "How did being a porn star affect your life?"
Tianna: "It didn't affect my life. I have no regrets whatsoever. I was very shrewd. I was a businesswoman. I loved being in front of the camera. I loved who I worked with. I'm totally over it now."
Luke: "It must've changed you in some way."
Tianna: "It changed me to be more independent and to make money. I've been a chef for nine years now. I'm one of the top ten chefs in Las Vegas.
"I'm here in disguise. Not for my fans but for my personal... I miss being in front of the camera and being around my fans. The sex."
Luke: "The adulation?"
Tianna: "I love everything about it. I have no regrets."
Luke: "How did it change the way people look at you once they know you're a porn star?"
Tianna: "There are a lot of people who look at females who are attractive with big boobs and not want to get to know them. I wanted people to get to know who I was inside. A lot of beautiful people are discriminated [against]. [Porn] is not something I normally talk about."
Luke: "How did it affect your love life?"
Tianna: "I was in a beautiful relationship for seven years. A real man accepts a woman. I was with a great guy for three-and-a-half years. In between, I had a girlfriend. I've been very open about it."
Luke: "Did it come up if you were in a fight?"
Tianna: "Absolutely. It was the first thing they'd throw in your face. I'm a very generous person. But there's a lot of resentment.
"I grew up in Beverly Hills in a wealthy family. I never got involved in drugs or alcohol. The money of my family was brought up more so than my porn career. That brought up more resentment, that I was daddy's little girl. That hurt me."
Luke: "How did your family react to your getting into porn?"
Tianna: "I was very business... I lived in beautiful homes and had great animals."
Luke: "How did your family react to your getting into porn?"
Tianna: "They really didn't react to it because they saw..."
Luke: "They had no reaction to your getting into porn?"
Tianna: "They didn't like what I did."
Luke: "Why did you get into porn?"
Tianna: "Because I was very fascinated by what's behind the camera."
Luke: "Fascinated by what?"
Tianna: "What was going on behind the films. I was a virgin until I was 19.
"It was fascinating that people became fans of mine because I did a great job and still are fans to this day.
"I went to college for child psychology. I got my AA."
In highschool, "I was a loner. Nobody liked me. I was the ugly duckling who turned into a beautiful swan. Everybody wants to talk to me now."
Monstar tells me: "You've been sullen all night."
Brian writes: "Luke...stop posting these pictures and ruining my fantasies. First I saw... and almost puked, then Christy Canyon who seems to be holding it together, then my all time favorite Alicia Rio, those years of doing drugs have caught up with her, she has that "i don't do drugs anymore" look. I want to remember these whores for how they were in their heyday, stop posting these fantasy stoppers."
Smelly Monkey writes on XPT about my pictures:
Not quality enough for me to give the full monkey treatment, its more images that should make us think and reflect on our lives and the direction we want to go. At least that's what happened to me.
Jacklyn Lick: I have this ability to read people and I'm just glad that she's happy with her life.
Tera Patrick and Evan Seinfeld: They make a great couple, I think this one has a chance to last the distance, i wish them and their future children happiness.
You look great Randy [Spears], have you been working out? And who is this pretty little thing? She's too good for you Randy, (we all laugh). I'm just kidding, have a great night kids.