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Thursday, February 2, 2006

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Rob Spallones Poses For XBiz Magazine

I call him Thursday afternoon.

Rob: "I'm taking photos right now. They wrote an article about me. I got six scenes done today, five blowjobs. I turn around and Tony Eveready is.....some girl by the pool. Another guy is....a girl standing two feet away from me. And it has nothing to do with the movie. They're animals. Let me take this picture. I've got to get it done."

The Price Of Anal Sex

I blew more than $30k on my wife’s new 3.2 ct. ring for our 15th anniversary in June. I had long since given up on ever getting any booty action, but she is the perfect wife otherwise, so I wanted to really show her my love and regard.

Well, she was just stunned, I mean speechless. That very night she rolled over for me and invited me into the cavern of my dreams. YES!

The best part is, it turns out she actually found that she liked it. She is becoming a little anal freak and I love it. At first she would just move so things “slipped” a little during lovemaking, but now she is absolutely shameless… rolling over, spreading her cheeks, and demanding sodomic satisfaction in the filthiest terms.

I would gladly have paid three times more to achieve these results. I am a happy, happy, happy, but much poorer man.

Mike Ramone Vs. God

The AVN Editor quotes approvingly from author Sam Harris:

"It is time we realized that crimes without victims are like debts without creditors. They do not even exist. Any person who lies awake at night worrying about the private pleasures of other consenting adults has more than just too much time on his hands; he has some unjustifiable beliefs about the nature of right and wrong."

Anyone who has loved someone has lain awake at night worrying that their loved one is engaged in private pleasures with other consenting adults. It would freak me out if my loved one was lending out her ass or getting drunk or doing coke.

So too every community and every society has evolved norms to deal with sexual jealousy and competitiveness. There's no society that allows consenting adults to do what they want to each other in privacy.

Let's look more closely at "consenting adults" really means. Consenting adults means that it is fine for parents to have sex with their children as long as they are all adults. Consenting adults means it is just fine for brothers to boff their sisters as long as they are all adults. Consenting adults means society erects no protection for marriage, which is the best way to raise healthy children.

With an attitude that consenting adults can do what they like in private with other consenting adults, society will destroy itself. Therefore, every society has drawn up laws and every legal distinction is partly arbitrary. That doesn't make it less important that at times it is unfair.

Prometheus Books porn critic Patrick Riley (and this guy has reviewed thousands of porn videos) wrote: "Seriously though, it's not religion per se that is against porn; it's any civilization that has to ensure support (in its largest sense) for the children and the females. Briefly, if the male can find another outlet to satisfy his craving for sex, he won't make the sacrifices and adjustments necessary to pair bond with a female and porn helps him masturbate which serves as a crutch to avoid that commitment."

RookieBabe.com

I call affiliate manager Danielle Thursday afternoon while reading her site: "With a vision for a better world, Rookie Babe hopes to make a positive contribution by donating 10% of its net income to: Child protection, Health research & development, Environmental preservation, Protection of animals."

Luke: "You don't see that vision for a better world on a lot of porn websites."

Danielle, a Shakespearian actor: "We're a community. It's like a MySpace of nudity. We're interactive. The girls we shoot are all natural. They have few tattoos. They have few piercings. They've never done this sort of thing before. They're fresh and new."

Danielle doesn't seem to know who owns Rookiebabe.com (she names some LLC).

Michelle is a hottie from Beverly Hills. She says she's in public relations. Maybe that means she parties a lot.

Lively and kind Rookiebabe Michelle has a mantra we could all live by: Safe Sex = Great Sex! Want to catch her lovely eye? Start with a sense of humor, add a dash of confidence and fill with honesty.

Caring and sensitive Rookiebabe Jen is a survivor who likes to give back. She likes confidence, coffee, and she loves to smile! Jen says she is a good girl who sometimes gets carried away…

There's a RookieBabe contest. The winner gets a flight to Los Angeles and a couple of nights in a Hollywood hotel, a shopping spree, a photo shoot and some Rookie Babe merchandise.

Marc Bruder Interview

He's the king of satellite TV, working in that industry since 1979. He owns Cable Entertainment Distributors (CED).

We speak at noon Thursday by phone.

Luke: "How did you get into the Adult industry?"

Marc: "Blackmail.

"I was born [and raised in Sherman Oaks]. I served in Vietnam from 1969-71. I got my BA in Psychology from Cal-State Northridge. I got my MBA from Pepperdine. I worked as a probation officer from 1974-79, when I quit. I went to work for Columbia-Tri Star (run by Ray Stark, they worked on Skatetown, USA). Then I went to work for Oak Industries aka On TV. It owned Playgirl magazine and a bunch of other publications. It ran the first pay-per-view system. I was the CEO. After Laker games, we aired infomercials, making no money.

"I went to the San Fernando Valley in 1979 and showed all the guys that I needed all these Adult movies cut so that there are no genitals, no insertions, no climax scenes. If it is soft enough, I can play it on pay-per-view. In those time, you had to call up your channel and they'd descramble your channel, you'd decide what you wanted to watch, and send you a separate bill.

"On TV was sold to Time/Warner in 1984 (which became Adelphia). I created Bruder Releasing, Inc (BRI, for general releasing as well as CED for Adult). I continued to convert MSOs (Multiple System Operator) and stand-alone cable systems in this country. We were establishing separate pay-per-view Adult soft channels with Comcast, TCI, Time/Warner, Cablevision.

"I gave them three-quarter-inch decks and then sent them the masters of the movies on three-quarter and they did their own separate local-origination channel of their own Adult soft service.

"Years later, analogue goes away, digital comes in. We're one of the largest suppliers to Playboy/Spice. We're exclusive to most of the channels in Latin America. We have output deals all around the world through all kinds of broadcasts, IPTV, cellular."

Luke: "Who's your biggest competition?"

Marc: "There is no competition for what CED does. We rep almost 80% of the broadcast rights of the Adult industry. Outside the United States, we're bringing Red Light District, One Night in Paris, Deep Throat, Wicked, all the major brands, into Direct TV, Sky Latin America, Globus... In this country, we have In Demand, all the hotels.

"With the new technologies out there, I'm like a born-again program supplier. It's exciting every day. I couldn't tell you ten years ago that somebody in Japan would be watching a five-minute clip of one of the movies we represent on his cell phone."

Luke: "Do you have trouble keeping up with all the technological changes?"

Marc: "Yes. We have a savvy staff [of eight] here that goes to all the conventions. I sit here like a student getting educated every day. We're content suppliers so it is our job to be up on the newest delivery technology."

Luke: "What is IPTV?"

Marc: "Internet Protocol Television. You can access any movie through proprietary software and download it off the internet. The software enables you to store terabytes, not megabytes, 17,000 hours of programming. It transfers to your television."

Luke: "There's a news story that describes you as the president of Arrow Productions?"

Marc: "I asked Ray Pistol if that would be OK and he didn't give a s---. As long as I keep sending him money, I can be his president. No. It's Raymond's company. CED is just his exclusive broadcast representative.

"We have two companies -- CED for the adult side, and 4BRI.net for the non-adult. We represent the (1979) animated classic The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. I probably spend 80% of my time with CED and 20% of my time with BRI."

Luke: "What do you love and hate about your work?"

Marc: "Oh man. Nobody has ever asked me these silly questions. These are great. I love my staff. They're like family. It took a long time to develop a crew here that cares, is knowledgeable, is well-respected...

"I work in an industry where you don't have to chase money. I'm dealing with SEC (Security & Exchange Commission)-controlled companies -- HBO, Playboy, Showtime. It's not like Johnny's Video Shack on the corner. You sold him 20 DVDs and you can't find him next week to pay.

"There are some other distributors that are not as ethical. When you meet a producer, it often takes ten minutes to explain to them that you are a total due-diligence company. They see the same checks you see, the same buy-rates and reports. You have to explain to them that you're not going to steal from them.

"I used to work at Columbia-TriStar [for Ray Stark in 1979]. I was a producer. We got screwed by everybody. I promised myself that if I ever became a distributor, I'd show them everything. I'd make them sign deal memos. When you get a check in and take a percentage for distribution, you show them the check you got in. We started doing that 25-years ago and revolutionized the distributor-producer relationship business."

Luke: "What kind of crowd did you hang out with in highschool?"

Marc: "Football guys. I was a defensive end and a center. I went both ways, though in this industry I shouldn't say that. It wasn't till I got back from Vietnam that I decided to develop my brain more than my brawn."

Marc says he served in Vietnam with a special forces SEAL team. "It made me appreciate getting up every morning. I don't think I should be here. I'm living on borrowed time."

Luke: "Did you volunteer?"

Marc: "I was drafted. I didn't want to go into the Army. They had a special unit that had great training for four months. I thought that after that, the war would be over. They transferred me to a MUWE (Mobile Undershore Warfare Surveillance) team, a counter-insurgency team attached to SEAL teams.

"I served on SWIFT boats for about two years."

Luke: "Did you do a lot of drugs and bang a lot of hookers?"

Marc: "You did your fair share of both trying to escape reality. I would go on leave for a week. I would know that when I went back, I'd have about 11-minutes to live."

Luke: "How many friends died?"

Marc: "A lot of them. I was close with two guys. The three of us were going to go back to the Philippines and open up an American bar at the end of the war. One guy was decapitated from a mortar shell. I saw that. That ended the partnership. We decided to never go back to the Philippines again. That's tough for a 20-year old kid to see, a Jew boy born in Sherman Oaks.

"My other friend became a sheriff in San Francisco.

"From 1974 until the end of 1979, I was a Los Angeles County deputy probation officer."

Luke: "Did that help you in dealing with people in the industry?"

Marc: "Same clients, different clothing.

"It's the standard line. I'm glad you stepped into it."

Luke: "Did you feel like you switched sides?"

Marc: "When you leave the department, no one will ever talk to you again. I've never spoken to the people I worked with. You're out of the fraternity. I've seen a couple of my case loads working around town. Some of them have straightened out. I had a great recidivism [rehabilitation] rate -- the people you counsel who don't go back to prison."

Luke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Marc: "I wanted to be a porno distributor.

"When I was a kid, I wanted to be a lawyer. Even at age 14, I was reading law books. I married a lawyer. As time went by, I thought it was better to hire them than to be one.

"I wanted to be a rock star.

"I spent about a year touring with different bangs, playing guitar, writing songs. When you get to be 30 years old, you figure you're not going to be a rock star.

"I wrote the songs. I booked the band. The guys were living in my apartment. It just wasn't getting anywhere. You played Madam Wong's and the Roxy and it just wasn't working.

"I became a guitar player in Allan Meyer's tribute to Elvis band that toured North America. Allan is about 5'4". He looked just like Elvis."

Luke: "Have you had any porn star girlfriends?"

Marc: "Never. I've never touched a girl in this industry."

Luke: "Are you able to stay awake during the AVN Awards?"

Marc: "Out of respect, because our guys are getting nominated and winning. We host two tables.

"It's a weird industry. The fans know more about the industry than the stars and the manufacturers."

Luke: "What happened to Lisa Schmidt?"

Marc: "She died and the worms ate her brains."

Luke: "Didn't you discover her?"

Marc: "Lucky me. She became an employee (for three-to-five years) who then tried to take my company down."

Luke: "She started Intrigue Entertainment Group [distributing through satellite TV] and went broke owing people money."

Marc: "I've been to court three times as a character witness for people who are suing her.

"She must've not been there the day I was teaching honor and ethics.

"I was so embarrassed. It took almost a year after she left to make explanations and apologies to people. Luckily, the contracts were all with CED and people understand that from time to time, there are treacherous larcenous people in our lives. That was a filthy thing. That was like a daughter. I brought her out from nowhere and gave her the shot of a lifetime. She ended up biting the hand that feeds her."

Luke: "She was a blackjack dealer."

Marc: "And for some reason, she can't go back to Vegas. You figure it out."

Luke: "What is she doing these days?"

Marc: "Probably finding someone new in the industry that she can screw. She's a terrible human being. Talk about karma? That was quick.

"How long have you been in this?"

Luke: "Ten years."

Marc: "Your questions are probing. I've been interviewed before. 'What do you like about the industry?' OK.

"If you want to distinguish between the Adult industry and the mainstream industry, these Adult guys are more ethical."

Luke: "Has anyone put a gun to your head?"

Marc: "I'm going to have no comment on that."

Luke: "Damn."

Marc: "I'll tell you a story. When a first got into it, this guy sold me Deep Throat, Devil in Miss Jones, Behind the Green Door. I had an output deal with Spectravision, a giant hotel supplier. I licensed the movies.

"I got a call from Butchie Peraino. They owned Arrow. He said, 'You stole from me. I'm gong to kill you.'

"I said, 'Don't do that. I'm driving over to your office right now.' I ended up representing him, paying him, showing him everything. I did not have the right to sell that movie [Deep Throat]. Somebody scammed me. Somebody delivered me the master and I got paid for it. He found out. These guys were connected.

"Butchie became a friend."

Luke: "How often has your life been threatened?"

Marc: "In Vietnam, every day. In the probation department, every other day. In this, nobody. The friends I have, how can I say this, I have very responsible friends who I've been representing for a long time and I'm very responsible to their cash flow and income stream. I don't think they'd want me to be hurt.

"That's a strange question. There isn't a lot of that. I don't come across that at all. It's just straight-up business. There's no threatening. I'd kill 'em if they did that."

Luke: "Thank you for your time."

Marc: "That was fun. Every egotistical distributor loves talking about himself."

A War Like No Other: How the Athenians and Spartans Fought the Peloponnesian War By Victor Davis Hanson

My friend calls Thursday. He's thrilled I got to hear Victor Davis Hanson. "He's the only farmer who knows the difference between King Donius and Xerxes and the only one who knows where Ithaca was.

"Are you going to write a column about it and connect it to porn? He's getting up there."

Luke: "He's in his 50s. It's his 16th book."

Friend: "He's been around forever."

Luke: "He's in good shape. He's got the body of a 45-year old man.

"How are you?"

Friend: "I've been sick for a month. I've had two colds in a row. I know where it is coming from, walking into libraries and using computers."

Luke: "It's coming across the internet?"

Friend: "No. Heaps of kids run around and cough and sneeze on everything. There are lots of homeless people walking in and using the computers with me and sneezing and coughing. I'm lucky I didn't get TB yet."

Luke: "You're not having sex with these people?"

Friend: "No. What does that have to do with colds?"

Luke: "Exchange bodily fluids, exchange diseases."

Friend: "That's not how you spread a cold."

Luke: "I'm sure it doesn't help."

Friend: "If you're banging someone?"

Luke: "Yeah."

Friend: "If you bang someone and don't shake their hand, you probably have a less chance of getting a cold than I do using a computer at a library. And if it is a hooker and you don't kiss 'em or shake their hand, the risk goes down even more.

"It's better to look good then feel good."

Luke: "How do you look?"

Friend: "Terrible. I haven't been sleeping because I can't breathe. I probably look older than Victor Davis Hanson.

"Do you have any interest in that part of the world or it's just the relation to the world today that fascinates you?"

Luke: "I wouldn't say my interest is keen. I'd rather get laid."

Friend: "That's always been the overriding concern. That's why you worked in porn."

Luke: "If you gave me a choice between a date (that I didn't have to pay for) with a beautiful woman and dinner with Dr. Hanson, hmm."

Friend: "That's a rough one."

Luke: "If she was beautiful and I knew I was going to get laid, I'd have to choose that."

Friend: "Depends on how hot she is. All I want is to hear him speak one time."

Luke: "You don't even care about sharing... fluids.

"I had this fantasy I was talking to him in classical Greek."

Friend: "Then you found out it was a dead language.

"My mom hasn't had DSL in four months. I tried to help her with her computer. They've tripled her bill. I spent hours with SBC trying to get them to help out. The guy I finally talked to last night was Charles Daniels. He was the blocking back for Archie Griffin [who won the Heisman Trophy in 1974 and 1975 at Ohio State].

"I said wow. I saw the Rosebowl against 'SC you were in.

"He did three years in 'Nam. He has eight kids. He got married the first time at 16. He's been married to this lady since he was 19, for 36 years."

Luke: "I've got to go and save humanity from secular humanism."

Friend: "Oh, you've got to go write about porn."

Luke: "Yeah."

In Praise Of Derek Hay

Smelly Monkey writes: "He is smart in that he doesn't try to be the talent's friend, he understands that 90% of the girls in the biz are just looking for an opening to take advantage of someone, So he runs his company like the chinese mafia, firm but fair. Truth be told the hating is coming from other agencies and girls he let go because of flaking issues. Lets be honest here, at the end of the day what does a director want a friendly, humble agent who can't control his talent or a complete prick whos girls show up to the sets on time all the time?"

Whatever Happened To Lisa Schmidt?

She was a blackjack player who met satellite porner Mark Bruder. She became his top salesperson. She left to form her own company, Intrigue Entertainment Group. She went out of business about a year ago, owing people money. She's been sued by many people.

I call what I'm told is her cell phone.

A man answers. I ask for Lisa. He says there's no Lisa at this number.

I apologize.

"It was funny the first few times you called," he says. "It's not funny anymore."

"This is the first time I've spoken to you," I say.

He hangs up.

Seeking Scoop In All The Wrong Places

I call a friend Thursday morning.

Friend: "I'm about to meet my girlfriend's father."

Luke: "How does he feel about her doing porn?"

Friend: "She hasn't done porn [boy-girl anyway] since she met me."

Luke: "Are you intimidated?"

Friend: "Dude, am I ever intimidated?"

Luke: "Probably."

Friend: "Come on, man. Once you've been sued by the ....family and pissed off..., you can not be intimidated."

Luke: "May I quote that?"

Friend: "No. What else?"

Luke: "I'm scraping the barrel."

Friend: "You must be if you want to quote that. Since Gary Kremen got out of the business, you got no scoop.

"What's up with the girl?"

Luke: "We went to the Narnia movie Saturday night."

Friend: "You cop a feel?"

Luke: "No. We're chaste."

Friend: "That's like a Christian movie. You should see Inside Deep Throat."

Luke: "We have a more spiritual relationship. We're going to Porn Star Karaoke Feb 6 [for Bad Ass Frank's night]. She needs a driver because she's going to drink."

Friend: "I don't know what's worse -- that you're going or that you're scheduling yourself Feb 6 for PSK. Don't you find that place dysfunctional? For someone who claims to not like porn people, why would you want to hang out and sing with them?"

Luke: "I don't sing with them and I'm only there for work purposes."

Friend: "To observe the dysfunctionality."

Luke: "And chronicle it."

Friend: "Ever since that night I was outside with you and that girl told me she was doing anal to buy a puppy, I've been deeply affected [negatively] by that place."

Luke: "Does your girl drink?"

Friend: "No, she's quit drinking."

Luke: "How's she doing with her Hebrew blessings?"

Friend: "She knows them all. She knows the wine, the Shabbat, and Hanukkah. Of course there's the bread. We're not getting into that yet. It might blow her mind."

Luke: "I shared with....the Hashkivenu."

Friend: "The what?"

Luke: "The Evening Prayer for Peace: "

Help us, Adonai, to lie down in peace, and awaken us again, our Sovereign to life. Spread over us Your shelter of peace; guide us with Your good counsel. Save us because of Your mercy. Shield us from enemies and pestilence, from starvation, sword and sorrow. Remove the evil forces that surround us. Shelter us in the shadow of Your wings, O God, who watches over us and delivers us, our gracious and merciful ruler. Guard our coming and our going, grant us life and peace, now and always. Spread over us the shelter of Your peace. Praised are You, Adonai who spreads the shelter of peace over us, over all God's people Israel and over Jerusalem.

Friend: "Yeah. That must've been rivetting for a WASPy person like her to listen to all night long."

Luke: "She liked it."

Friend: "Did she shake your lulav?"

Luke: "It's not that time of the year. And I wouldn't anyway."

Friend: "Why don't you write something interesting today? You should call Bruce Bonaventura [at Webquest]. Oh God that was funny."

Cam writes me: "I sincerely hope that conversation between you and a "friend" was fictional, because if it was real, then it's confirmation that you've officially fallen down the rabbit hole."

I Call Rob Spallone

10am.

Rob: "I'm on a shoot."

Luke: "What are you shooting?"

Rob: "Black guys."

Luke: "Any of the girls cute?"

Rob: "No. Older women today."

Luke: "Goodbye."

Let's hear it for XBizKristen

Bad Dog writes on GFY:

Sometimes you just have to take the time to say how much you enjoy a company, or a representative of said company, and I think that time is now. As Alec can confirm, I have had dealings with Helmy Enterprises for many, many years. I remember owning his Asian link list. He had a couple others whose names I can't recall, but suffice it to say I have watched the Helmy corporation grow leaps and bounds over the years. I have also watched many reps come and go. While, for the most part, I have never had any problems with any individual at Helmy, there is one that has stood out over the past year, and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the time I have spent getting to know her, and that is XBizKristen. That killer smile, and always being willing to help, no matter what, has forced me to come put with this well deservered praise. Thank you Kristen for everything, and congrats Alec in getting one of the nicest and intelligent reps in the industry. Anyone else that is an XBixKristen fan, post your favorite picture of her.

XBizKristen replies: "THANK YOU for this! This thread comes at a very special time - Thursday marks my 1 year anniversary with XBiz!"

I first met Kristen at the July 17, 2005 Free Speech Coalition dinner dance: Kristen (XBiz Advertising Manager), Steve Bugsbee (Gigacash) Kristen, Steve Kristen, Steve Kristen, Steve

James DiGiorgio Asks If It Is Possible To Believe Anything You Read In A Press Release

He writes on SimplyJimmyD.com:

Case in point: The press release just released by VCA regarding the new "Neu Wave Hookers." According to the PR, this flick, "...is streaking towards the top of the charts with an impressive out of the box blast and a steady fan buzz that is lighting up gossip and news sites everywhere."

"Fan buzz?"

"Lighting up gossip and news sites everywhere?"

Niggaz pleez! This is the porn biz. This ain't Hollywood. There is no "fan buzz." And even if there were, who are these buzzing fans and how does anyone in this business know their buzzing?

Here's some more 411: Porn news 'n gossip sights don't, as a rule, light up. They simply report gossip and news and sometimes press releases. If and when they do light up it's something they do when someone dies or someone goes to jail or someone smacks the crap out of someone or someone tests positive for HIV. They DO NOT light up over the latest porn flick of which there's about a hundred or more being released each week.

Vicky Vette and White Supremecists

Fred writes: "Who do you suppose was the driving force behind Ms. Vette's association with the white supremecists? Ms. Vette or her husband? Or do you suppose it is just a rumor?"

Porn people tend to be fringe people who are more easily attracted to fringe ideas.

Nacho Vidal Returns

El Glorioso writes: Nacho Vidal is soon to perform before his retirement in a movie he produces called Nacho Rides Again (straight, no trannies). I don't know if he is going to distribute in USA or only in Spain. He was shooting and producing an action movie too called Extreme with Sony Pictures Europe.

Every Tuesday night, the porn industry meets in a dark Burbank bar – to sing karaoke

Annette Stark writes for City Beat:

They even spill out into the parking lot, also steamy with adult celebs, schmoozing and smoking, leaning against parked cars. Lusty blonds with triple-F and triple-G chests sit together, boobs spilling over the tables, laughing and stroking long platinum blonde hair. There’s easily $120,000 worth of breast implants at one table alone. Some of the stars are nice enough to provide their fans with a few minutes of unbridled ecstasy on the dance floor. Others are just there to be seen.

It’s Boogie Nights before the bad stuff happened. In fact, if Porn Star Karaoke didn’t exist, some scholar of Los Angeles pop culture would be thinking it up right now. Fortunately, it’s been out there for two and a half years (where have you been?) as the brainchild of KSEX Radio host Wankus (real name Wayne C. Lewis) who, after all this time, still sounds a bit bemused that his one night out singing karaoke has turned into one of Porn Valley’s biggest hits.

Chi Chi LaRue Vs. Vivid

Jason Sechrest writes:

I have been informed that the directrix has prematurely ended her contract with the company. As it turns out, Vivid is switching over to a “condom optional” policy and that is not an option for LaRue. “Some of the Vivid girls are going to be doing scenes without condoms and I won’t shoot them so I left,” LaRue tells me. “I’ve been so vocal about mandating condoms in the gay industry that for me to continue to work on those movies, it would just be hypocritical.” LaRue, who has directed some of Vivid’s most critically acclaimed movies for contract girls ranging from Jenna Jameson (pictured here) to Mercedez, says she will continue to direct a few all-girl movies for the company, such as the chart topping series, Where the Boys Aren’t, and there is a possibility of her starting her own line of blow job films with the company.

The Rise And Fall Of David Woodman

He was a producer at various tabloid TV shows such as Inside Edition. Then TV changed. David changed. He went to work at AVN for a couple of months. His boss Dan Miller didn't like him and fired him after the Vegas show.

Now David's in charge of publicity for Dane Productions.

Soon he'll step into the bukkake line?

EscortDevon.com

A friend was horny. He wanted to order Devon. He hit up the website. They asked him to wire the money. He smelt a fraud. It was a fraud.

Porn Star Karaoke

XXX writes: "It wasn't very crowded at all. Maybe next week will be rockin since it will be Bad Ass Talent night. There was a reporter from London named James. He was taking photos. I forgot what publication he was from. Next Tuesday will be nuts for me, because LA Direct is having another stripper showcase."

Amy Ried promo isn't true

From Suze.net:

Suze's Sneak Peeks: Amy Ried's 1st HARDCORE Scene. Coming Soon! That's right! Amy Ried - the gal with the hottest body in the business - is letting it loose, and only for Suze.net. Enjoy these teaser pics, and swing by Suze.net to see the web's biggest collection of Amy Ried photos. Only Suze has shot Amy Ried hardcore - don't miss out!

Job writes: "Amy Ried has shot hardcore Boy/Girl scenes [under the name Devin Valencia] with other producers. The films have been on the market for many months."

David writes: "Devin/Amy 1st boy/girl scene was actually shot for Vince Voyeur's Ripe Young Mellons 6. She was in the movie with her then boyfriend. It was heavily promoted with her in it. Actually she's a very boring performer. Besides having nice natural breasts, her performance is dull. Hopefully her scene for Holly is better."

Holly Randall replies to Job: "Wasn't actually my idea but I did warn against it -- actually when we put it up Amy had obviously lied and told us it was her first boy/girl, and we just didn't change it. I'll have it changed tomorrow."

Vicky Vette's First Interracial Scene

Jessica writes:

A few questions regarding the Vicki Vette/National Alliance pissing match have been kicking around unanswered in my head for several day nows:

1. Does the suicide of Vicky Vette's husband Frank raise or lower Vicky's asking price for her first interracial scene?

2. Do you think porn fans would get an added thrill knowing the money they spent on this dvd may have actually contributed to Frank's suicide in some small way?

3. Do you think Jason feels any guilt over helping elevate a sad situation into a tragedy?

4. I wonder whose idea it was to counter Frank's racist allegations against Vicki with the 'fielding offers for her first intteracial scene' publicity campaign.

Jason Sechrest responds:

This is so tasteless. I sure hope it makes you feel better to hammer home whatever point you're trying to make because it sure makes people going through an awful tragedy sink even deeper into depression. Leave the poor woman alone. She's been beaten for 18 years and then had the person she still considered to be the love of her life even after leaving him for her own safety, take his own life because of her. Show a little humanity. Though she may allow herself to be ojectified, it time like these, you've got to go a little deeper into your own heart and remember these people you whack off to on camera are not just objects. They are living, breathing people like you and me who feel pain and make mistakes and go through hard times when they are in need of compassion.

It's just so easy to kick someone when they are already down on the ground, isn't it? That's all I want to respond to this or any others for that matter, Luke. I'm done with this.

Wicked Pictures has horrible hold music

Japanese disco. What's up with that, Steve Orenstein?

Going Postal On A Porn Shoot

Amalek writes:

This crazy broad (she looks a lot like the women I've met off of Craigslist) who murdered seven people in the Post Office by you prompts a question. How come nobody ever goes postal on the set of a porn shoot? You'd think that given the sketchy people involved, this would happen from time to time, but it never does. Maybe making porn is less stressful than working for Corporate America.

I'm feeling under the weather and could use some TLC. So if you are out there reading this, Joanna Angel, and can deal with the emotional needs of a 350 pound hunk of kosher salami, please, stop by with some chicken soup.

Hopefully she will be true to her chosen name and is on her way over at this very minute. Otherwise, really, you should marry.

Am I A Backdoor Bandit Because I Secretly Want To Bugger Guys?

I asked a girl. She replied: "Absolutely not. That's rubbish. People only like it because it's taboo."

I also enjoyed the physical sensations created by the act, but they were strictly secondary to the philosophy.

Vivid Quietly Goes Condom-Optional

LOS ANGELES - Vivid Entertainment Group, one of the last two remaining adult production companies to require performers to wear condoms during their sex scenes, quietly changed its policy last week, allowing performers to choose whether they wanted to wear protection in their scenes.

Female-Fronted Companies

I have a male acquaintance who's starting a porn-related company. After a short time, he realized it would be easier to have a woman fronting things.

Many female-fronted companies, such as Danni.com and Jill Kelly Productions, have been run by a guy. Many famous female directors (such as Gail Palmer) have been controlled by a man. Many directors with female names (Jane Waters) are men.

Pornographers are eager to claim that porn is for women too.

James DiGiorgio writes: "Not all so-called "female" companies are fronts for guys. Avalon enterprises is owned by Gigi Appleton, the general manager is Mimi, and the sales manager is Leela, all of whom are 100% female. Avalon distrubutes, amongst others, Roy Alexander's lines (blue coyote), Gia Darling's lines, Taylor wane's lines, and my products--the latest of which, "My Private Dancer #2," an interactive DVD starring Monica Mayhem and Reagan Anthony, released just yesterday."

Whatever Happened To Jessica Jaymes?

David writes: "I am a huge fan of Mya Lovely and Cherry Lee but I haven't seen or heard anything new about them. I was wondering did they get out of the porn biz or are they working behind the camera now?"

She was at the AVN Expo and will probably shoot for suze.net soon.

David writes: "I did an interview with Jessica Jaymes around Jan 15. She did not renew her contract with Hustler. She's currently working on a project for her new yet to be name production."

According to AVN:

Former Digital Playground contract star Devon, former Vivid Video contract star Tawny Roberts and former Hustler contract star Jessica Jaymes are the premier signings for the new company, Ecstasy Mobile.

Ryp writes: "What happened to Hustler starlet Jessica Jaymes who had a great deal made out of her last year-- but hasn't been heard from since mid fall?"

Melissa Lauren Escorting

Flyguy writes on ADT: "I just noticed ML listed on Bodymiracle as escorting in the Philly area for $1500 an hour. Tell me, is being with a porn star worth that much more than a girl I can get for $500 for two hours who will give me just about anything I want?"

Kat Slater writes on ADT:

I've shot hookers, and I've shot porn stars. I find the difference between the two quite evident. The hookers are very mechanical. They want to quickly get the guy off, get their money and get out of there. The porn stars... they know how to really give a great show!!!! They take the extra time and energy to make the expense well worth it! And I always find if you're going to fork over any amount of dough... doing it half-assed is exactly that. Now, I have no idea how the porn girls work in their escorting services. But, they certainly have the know-how to do the right thing. The hookers... ah... to that I have to say... men are too easy!

Derek Hay - Role Model

Corina Taylor posts on ADT:

L.A. Direct was the one agency that really got me a hell of a lot of work..about 95% of what's out there to date. Derek has a strong personality and has what it takes to be operating an extremely successful agency in the porn biz.I do not see L.A Direct being shut down for any reason. Talent who have been in the biz for years will even sign on with Derek to get work, because they know he can help them continue on with their careers. As far as perormer/manager relationship goes. I did not see a problem with it and I am sure deep down all male managers would love to get in the panties of the majority of their female talent pool. Derek also happens to be a great looking guy with a big cock, so why not use both his business skills and his good looks to be successful on both sides of the fence.

Does Brokeback scare the straight porn industry?

Smith writes on ADT:

Brokeback Mountain is a movie that contains scenes of male-male passion that are probably unparallelled for a release featuring big-name actors. Its appeal has extended far beyond gay audiences to include heterosexuals. My view is that its success will change the mainstream culture. It is also possible that it will change the straight porn culture, a culture which is reliably conservative and which always bans displays of male-male passion.

Derek writes: "I know quite a few women (some in the porn biz) who swear that anal sex in straight porn is about straight men acting out gay desires."

Amneth responds:

You don't really know why men like anal sex with women. I have anal sex with women, and I have no interest with anal sex with men. If it were a man, I'd lose my erection.

Women are shaped very different than men. They have a different smell, taste, feel, women are completely different than men.

Anal sex with women is about two things:

1. Crossing the Taboo line

2. Dominating the woman.

When a woman gives up her ass to you, it's a feeling of sexual power and perversity. Here she is having sex with you, and you have gotten her so horny and wanton that she is willing to allow you to f--- her ass.

The reaction women have when you f--- their ass and play with their pussy is incredible. If your a dumb ass and just stick it in and wail away, they probably aren't going to enjoy it.

Anal sex has nothing to do with gay fantasies unless the guy is gay. If you think a woman's ass looks like a mans, then you are with picking the wrong kind of woman. A woman's ass looks nothing like a man's ass. Get a clue.

Sexual pleasure is a hightly involved mental activity involving dominant and submissive aspects. You have to feel out your partner to see what stimulates them, and move towards pleasing them, one person usually leads and the other follows depending on given levels of experience and the inhibition levels of each partner.

When you are working a woman towards anal sex, she really has to be comfortable with you. That involves dominating the sexual situation, getting her to let down her inhibitions and try something new. You have to pleasure her to get her to do this, make her feel beautiful and wanton, like she is the only one you want do this with. You may not like the word, but it involves dominating her sexually.

The only time this kind of thing doesn't apply is when the woman is more experienced than you are. She is dominating you, getting you try different things like anal sex. She is ruling the sexual situation using her body to stimulate and direct you. Woman also enjoy sexually dominating men and are often alot better at it than men.

Juha writes: "There is a big difference between gay themes in mainstream features and porn. A good mainstream feature that deals with the problems of gay people also appeals to straight people because it deals with universal problems and obstacles. Porn simply deals with sex. And as much as I want equal rights, love and happiness for gay people, I don't want to watch gay porn."

Steve Holmes writes: "I've never heard about this movie, but you probably never heard about Die Konsequenz. A movie directed by Wolfgang Petersen and staring Jürgen Prochnow. It hasn't changed anything in porn. There is two totally separate markets for heterosexual porn and gay porn. And a little gray niche for some bi-sexual movies."

David Aaron Clark writes:

Yes, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN scares me. Since it came out, I've awoken at least two or three nights a week from nightmares concerning really hunky gay cowboys who are not only more macho than me but don't think I'm anywhere near as cute as they are, either.

Truth be told, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN has begun to haunt my waking moments, as well. There I'll be, trying to shoot some little Asian waif in a schoolgirl outfit, & suddenly out of the corner of my eye, as if in a J-horror film, a handsome gay cowboy makes a leering face at me. I've been startled into dropping the camera so many times that my new nickname is "Ol' Butterfingers" & they're making me smoke only two bowls max before the shoot's over. How can I explain to them that's BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN that's scaring me? They'll think I'm CRAZY!

Earl Slate Wrote A Book

"So you want to be a Porn Star? A Guide to the Adult Video Industry."

I'm emailed that "it's actually pretty good from an amateur's point of view."

Earl was unable to publish his magnum opus.

He resides in prison for armed robbery. He'll be there another five years. "He is surviving the best he can," writes a source, "which isn't easy when you are in such a demeaning atmosphere on a daily basis. He has become quite a good guitar player though and he is clean and sober and keeping his body in shape."

Rob Longshot Says He's Bisexual

Bornyo reflects on XPT: "Looking back, the signs were all there. Inner turmoil, strange haircuts, devil worship, fag-hag girlfriend, Star Wars fetish. All the signs of a guy battling his inner sexuality."

I emailed Rob Longshot. He replied: "I've never denied it."

An Update on Cheyenne Silver?

Posted 01/12/06 on Fanboyplanet.com:

A few weeks ago, YK Productions informed us that Cheyenne Silver, popular model and star of their film Mystere and the Disciples of Dido, had been in a terrible car accident. Since then, fans have contacted us wondering about her condition. Finally, Bryan J. Kinnaird at YK Productions had some news to share. From YK Productions:

Happy New Year... let me give a quick statement to Fanboy Planet regarding Cheyenne Silver's condition. Cheyenne Silver was released from a Trauma Center in Denver, Colorado on 12/23/05, and is recuperating at home. Cheyenne has been very touched by the concern of so many fans.

She will be in a neck brace for six weeks and is healing quite well. Production on the Villikon film will resume in April '06 and Cheyenne Silver will continue in the role of Mystere but in how great a capacity is still unclear. Her #7 vertebra was broken but she has had very positive neurological tests.

Bryan Kinnaird and Director Shian Storm have formulated a new plotline for the film featuring a greater role for two existing characters, the addition of more characters from the comic book series, and an alternate vision for telling the story with existing footage and a new scenario for the film’s ending.

I heard about this last December but nobody I trusted could confirm the accident. One writer tells me he talked to the "Denver PD, Swedish Hospital (the closest trauma center), the air ambulance service for that area, and every PD within range of Denver. No one yet can confirm the accident. Of course, it doesn't help that I only have that one comment from the production company, which doesn't help pinpoint the specific location, nor who was driving (which limits requests to the DMV). Spent a few hours just checking, with no luck. Tried using Cheyenne Silver and [her real name]."

Lainie Speiser from Penthouse writes:

Last I worked with Cheyenne was at the Pet of the Year party this past November. I always have her at our biggest events because she’s tremendously popular, especially with the suit ‘n tie executive millionaire types, they totally dig her college co-ed look contrasting to her hard core vids on the past.

I knew of the accident back in December because she was supposed to be at AVN with us and also for our Detroit Superbowl party this weekend. I believe she has contacted an attorney because her seat belt didn’t work. Cheyenne is doing fine, still in the neck brace with some dizzy spells but she’s back to her spunky little self!

I Confront Dick Delaware Over Holly

I write, ok, this is just a joke, see the original on lukeford.com:

My cell phone is at my brothers house. I have news that took place at AIM yesterday with Dick Delaware (white talent) and myself. I saw This pimp looking guy with a DW gold chain and I realized he was the guy that was f---ing my girlfriend Holly and showing up at parties with her while her and I were going out and having problems. I confronted him and he pleaded with me and insisted that I had the wrong guy and that he didnt know who she is. He was scared and would not leave AIM beacease I told him I will C U outside and I waited 4 hiz ass outside and parked down the street to wait for him to exit AIM. He and all the employees at aim were looking for me and he never left AIM so finally left as I couldnt beat him down at AIM in front of all those witnesses. Dick Delaware should be careful whoz girlfriend he f---s and takes to a PORNO party. He was seen by Brian and confirmed by Scott Lyons to have been at more than one of thier parties with Holly during that time.HE FINALLY GOT PUNKED YESTERDAY!! ihope u can print that

Picture Quality

Houston Don writes Mike Quasarman:

There are a lot of factors that contribute to a "good" picture image in a modern porno; far too many than could be discussed without contributing substantial amounts of otherwise productive time. There are also a number of factors that contribute to POOR picture quality, many of which have become near standards in gonzo releases lately. Since Mike's comments specifically mentioned my review of (Strip Tease Then f---), let's start there, shall we?

Mike and I discussed this review via email a few years ago. He was slightly irked that I didn't notice his attempts to improve on previously weak looking releases. I pointed out that there was a lot more grain and over saturated colors that certainly didn't flatter the women in the movie. Ultimately, as DAC pointed out in a round about manner, isn't making the women look their best (and more strokable), the whole point of a porno? Mike and I had a side discussion about who the "real" director of the movie was too but that's a discussion for another time. In any case, if the ladies in the movie were so in need of "camera magic" to look strokable, perhaps the then advertised standards for Zero Tolerance should have been more readily employed: "dumb f---ing dialogue, ugly bitches, stretch marks, Tijuana boob jobs, stupid tattoos, fake orgasms, limp cocks, weak pop shots, hookers who hate f---ing, sorry ass suitcase pimps, crack whores, and bad pornography."

Those are the types of things that soft focus, grain, and a film look are designed to cover up. Many people enjoy watching gonzo porn with flat lighting that eliminates grain, video noise, and all those pesky problems people with higher end systems seem to hate. If you're watching your porn on a $150 TV made 15 years ago with a bargain basement DVD player, a quality picture might not matter but on even the baseline equipment many folks have acquired in recent years, a weak picture only gets worse when the source material is not shot well and transfered to DVD with a modicum of care.

I've been a fan of Mike's works since I noticed that a number of his projects looked better than average at Metro, boosting his ego a few times when I pointed out projects that looked like he was in charge looked so much better, regardless of who was credited (typically not Mike but one of the directors who didn't think being on the set was worth it). I know Mike can shoot a great porno and have praised him all over the internet for this ability. That said, I still call them like I see them (and yes, I do "get it" unlike some reviewers who praise the weakest looking crap around for some reason external to the movie: hint: sales from links, friendships, or the desire to participate in the industry more fully). By suggesting a guy doesn't "get it" simply because he has higher standards than what you shoot for, you open up a can of worms.

I'll put it simply: does the picture have to be so poor that you can't determine which hole a guy is poking before a gonzo is declared "average" in quality (I've seen reviews like this all over the place)? Does that "2 seconds" of "auto-focus drifting" matter if it happens all the time? Does the routine "pitch black" performer caused by an "auto-aperture" improperly set matter? These things matter to a lot more people than some of you seem to appreciate; helping justify, to many people on the internet, the casual file-swapping of your movies since "it's all crap anyway". Are such problems deal killers for those that buy or rent porn? Maybe or maybe not but arguing that it's "good enough" is hardly an attitude most consumers seem to appreciate when you have the skills and equipment to prevent such problems or edit them out later on.

Contrast that movie with (Drive Thru 3), another of Mike's releases though more current. Were the colors washed out? No, they weren't. Were the levels of grain and video noise almost to the point of a UHF broadcast signal? No, they weren't. Yeah, there were flaws with the picture that appeared to be the result of substandard DVD mastering but nothing like some of Zero Tolerance's older stuff.

I agree with Mike that "I'm saying I guess is that craft is not the primary ingrediant in what people perceive as quality pornography" but that doesn't mean you should ignore it or treat those of us, including a number of reviewers all over the internet and consumers who purchase porn, as second class citizens since we look for "better" quality in the visual aspects of their entertainment. If you're shooting gonzo, lose the fancy camera tricks and lighting in favor of a crisp, clear picture. If you're shooting something else, by all means try something new that can be evaluated on it's own merits. Reviewers and critics all have their own flaws and quirks but beating up on them for wanting better looking (or sounding) porn is hardly fair.

Whoring For Votes

As I surf around the blogosphere, I find an embarrassing number of blogs (including ones by friends) entreating their readers to vote for them to win some stupid contest for best blog. I have not entered a contest since my highschool journalism advisor pushed me to in my senior year (I got second place). I do not plan to enter another contest in my life. Even though I am a narcissist, I find such self-promotion distasteful. I've never approached a journalist to write about me (I once hired a publicist for two months in the summer of 1998, nothing resulted from it, and I hated the whole experience, and never did it again). Whenever I publish a book, the most common question I get is, "How will you market it?" I won't. I find that distasteful. I struggle to produce compelling work. If people want it, they can hunt it down.

Amalek writes:

Forget that. You need to write your true autobiography, the one that describes how you were kidnapped by Abos for a summer, after which your father rejected you. The one that describes your descent into porn as a plaything of rich women. Then, maybe, you can get on Oprah.

"She held me down and mounted me with her enormous meaty thighs pinning me helplessly in place. All I could do was hum some prayers and block it out."

Don't talk about Holly that way.

This is how we all know that you are not a biological Jew - you have no instinct or drive to make money.

You pattern your life after the Christian martyrs instead of the Jewish Gedolim.

Really, I see more of Jesus in you than I see Howard Stern.

Mark Kernes Analyzes Supreme Court

He writes for AVN: "The confirmation of Third Circuit Appeals Judge Samuel Alito to the U.S. Supreme Court cements a plurality of hard-line conservatives on the nation's highest court..."

That's nonsense. There are only four hard-line conservatives on the Court (out of nine) -- Alito, John Roberts, Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas.

Mark Kernes responds:

A "plurality" of the court is not the same thing as a "majority." A plurality opinion is one that does not get five justices' votes in favor of all the major issues addressed, though in most cases at least five agree with the ultimate conclusion. Examples of "plurality" decisions include Young v. American Mini Theatres, where the following diversity of opinion is noted:

>STEVENS, J., delivered the opinion of the Court, in which BURGER, C.J., and WHITE, POWELL (except for Part III), and REHNQUIST, JJ., joined. POWELL, J., filed a concurring opinion, post, p. 73. STEWART, J., filed a dissenting opinion, in which BRENNAN, MARSHALL, and BLACKMUN, JJ., joined, post, p. 84. BLACKMUN, J., filed a dissenting opinion, in which BRENNAN, STEWART, and MARSHALL, JJ., joined, post, p. 88

Note that Justice Powell's disagreement with Part III means that the issues dealt with in Part III of the main body of Justice Stevens' opinion are a "plurality opinion" because only four justices agree with the findings therein. Several major decisions affecting the adult industry over the years have been, at least in part, plurality opinions. Plurality opinions are generally considered to have less weight than opinions in which five or more justices agree with all of the main issues involved.

The quoted statement in my article was meant to suggest that on issues about which conservatives have a stance, Roberts, Scalia, Thomas and Alito would be likely to vote as a bloc, a "plurality," and if they could persuade just one other justice to agree with them as to the main issues of the case, they would then be in the majority and one of them would write the controlling opinion on that case.

Using Feminine Wiles To Save Souls For God

I'm thinking about Shelley Lubben and JCsGirls, reading Rodney Stark's book on The Rise of Christianity and I'm struck by the encouraging strain in Christianity to exogamy (marrying the outsider) and the conquering of the outside world (in sharp contrast to Judaism's inwardness, skeptical view of the gentile word and its strong opposition to exogamy):

Here we are in a city stinking of death. All around us, our family and friends are dropping...

If we are pagans, we probably already know that our priests profess ignorance.

But if we are Christian, our faith does claim to have answers.

"Another advantage Christians enjoyed over pagans was that the teaching of their faith made life meaningful even amid sudden and surprising death... [E]ven a shattered remnant of survivors who had somehow made it through war or pestilence or both could find warm, immediate and healing consolation in the vision of a heavenly existence for those missing relatives and friends...Christianity was, therefore, a system of thought and feeling thoroughly adapted to a time of troubles in which hardship, disease, and violent death commonly prevailed."

...[W]omen were more likely than men to become Christians.

Like pagans, early Christians prized female chastity, but unlike pagans they rejected the double standard that gave pagan men so much license. Christian men were urged to remain virgins until marriage and extra-marital sex was condemned as adultery.

Should they be widowed, Christian women also enjoyed very substantial advantages.

In the pagan world that surrounded the early Christians, an excess number of men caused wives to be in short supply. But within the Christian subculture it was husbands who were in short supply. Herein lay an excellent opportunity for gaining converts.

Both Peter and Paul sanctioned marriage between Christians and pagans.

Tertulian...wrote two angry treatises condemning Christian women's use of makeup, hair dye, fancy clothes and jewelry.

Peter and Paul hoped that Christians would bring their spouses into the church, but neither seemed to have the slightest worry that Christians would revert to, or convert to, paganism. The composure of the Christian martyrs amazed and unsettled many pagans.

A primary cause of low fertility in the Greco-Roman world was a male culture that held marriage in low esteem.

...[F]emale prostitutes abounded in Greco-Roman cities...also sustained substantial numbers of male prostitutes, as bisexuality and homosexuality were common.

In addition to infanticide, fertility was greatly reduced in the Greco-Roman world by the very frequent recourse to abortion. The literature details an amazingly large number of abortion techniques -- the more effective of which were exceedingly dangerous. Thus abortion not only prevented many births, it killed many women before they could make their contribution to fertility, and it resulted in a substantial incidence of infertility in women who survived abortions.

de mortuis nil nisi bonum

It's cute when emailers (particularly those in the sex industry who are often desperate to show off how smart they think are) pretentiously try to employ a language in which they are not literate.

Cara writes me with the subject header above:

It means "of the dead, speak no evil."

Your comments about Anna Malle were tasteless and appalling.

That is to be expected from you, of course, but really - what will they say about you when you're dead?

"Here lies Luke..., talentless hack and hanger-on. He will not be missed."

Get a life.

Reality to readers: When you want to write to an English-language website, use English.

Terri writes Cara: "Dude, You forgot the verb. Cicero would be horrified, unless he were busy being being murdered by Augustus's goons. Oh, Bush Junior's State of the Union is on now. Gotto go."

Why do people waste their time watching such stuff? You can read the speech in two minutes. Then you can spend the other 40-minutes reading a good book.

Maxine writes me: "You have bad taste. I saw your comments about Anna Malle & I think you need to consider growing some tact & good taste. How'd you like it if someone said that about you if you died that way..... Good luck, the karma door will nail you on the way out."

I write Cara: "My job is to report the truth. Period.

"Why exactly should we not speak ill of the dead?"

She replies:

It's quite simple - they're dead, and not here to defend themselves. It's vastly different if they've been judged by a peer group, the Nuremburg trials, for example - but I don't consider you a peer and neither would anyone with the slightest common sense.

I had the pleasure of meeting Anna on two separate occasions when she featured at my club. Not only was she the picture of sobriety, but she was also kind and caring. She pooled all of her stage tips, a substantial amount, amongst the house dancers. Not one of the hundreds of feature dancers I've met ever thought to do something like that.

Your posthumous character assassination smacks of sour grapes. Did Anna refuse to give you freebie? Is that what this really boils down to?

Really, Luke - if your self-appointed job is to "report the truth" as you say - why don't you join Greenpeace or start an orphanage for Afghan children? It's a dubious charitable endeavor you've undertaken, this "porn crusader" persona of yours. Surely you're not so stupid you can't see that.

I reply:

My job is to write my column. I try to write the truth. I fail constantly but that is the aim. My coverage of Anne was no different from that of anyone else with her demons and addictions. About 90% of what I've published about Anne since she died has been glowing.

Have you ever read British obituaries? They're in an entirely different style from the American ones which strive to not say anything bad about the deceased. I want to give a well-rounded human picture of a human.

I've never asked any sex worker for a date or for any form of freebie, sexual or otherwise.

It's not the job of activist groups such as Greenpeace to write about truth. Their job is to be activists. Activism and the type of (generally) dispassionate writing I do are opposites.

It's not so much that I appointed myself to this job. My readers, such as you, appointed me. Without thousands of people such as yourself, Cara, I'd be doing something else for a living.

When I die, I hope people speak the truth (good, bad and ugly) about me.

Dr. David Clark Diagnoses My Yellow Fever

We chat about Oriental women as he walks down Wilshire Blvd through Korea Town on a sunny Tuesday afternoon on his way to the Metro Line to visit the beautiful Valley to have dinner with a patron -- a gentle and Gentile pornographer.

Luke: "Are you coming to karaoke tonight?"

David: "God no. Why in heaven's name, considering all the ways I've humiliated myself already, would I want to add that to my resume?"

Luke: "For the fun of it?"

David: "Are you there? Typing as fast as I can speak?

"I'm getting a late start because I was stuck reading Susie Bright's angry rant about JT Leroy, the middle-aged San Francisco woman [author] fooled people into thinking she was a teenage hustler/HIV-ridden boy. She had her sister posing as that boy."

Did a struggling white writer of gay erotica become one of multicultural literature’s most celebrated memoirists — by passing himself off as Native American? BY MATTHEW FLEISCHER

"Jerry Stahl has a marvelous piece on [fraudulent memoirist] James Frey.

"All the chickens coming home to roost in our dishonest culture. How can people point fingers at George Bush when they are of a class that will make up any truth for their personal gain?

"I'm sure that's off the topic of what you wanted to ask."

Luke: "No. I'm just checking in. I haven't talked to you since AVN. I saw some of your posts on ADT."

David: "That's why people should keep me employed -- so I don't have as much time to post.

"Are you getting yellow fever?"

I laugh. "I like smart girls, be they Asian or White or Black."

David: "The Asian ones tend to be smarter?"

Luke: "Yes."

David: "It depends what generation they are. It comes out of culture. How much do they value education? The American Asian girl is no more thoughtful or educated."

Luke: "The longer they stay here, the more assimilated they get."

David: "The stupider they get."

Luke: "Asian immigrants to America tend to be special."

David: "It's a fascinating history. Nobody has done a Gangs of New York version of, say, the Chinese experience in America. If anything, it is more interesting. They've never been the bullies."

Luke: "They don't go all political like Jesse Jackson. They just do the hard work."

David: "I know that cartoons are beneath you, but the daily comic strip Boondocks was nominated for an NAACP award for an episode of what if Martin Luther King had only fallen into a coma and then awoke 30 years later."

Luke: "There's a new book out called "How Asian Parents Raise High-Achievers."

David: "You don't let your kids play videogames for ten hours a day."

Luke: "Asian girls don't bust your balls as much in public. They enjoy making you feel like a man. Caucasian girls enjoy emasculating you."

David: "That's cultural. It comes from a general culture of civility surrounding public transactions of all kinds. It makes you smarter to learn how to deal with situations without resorting to giving someone the finger or calling them names. That's why they call it civilization."

Luke: "Asian women from Asia enjoy being female and enjoy making a man feel manly."

David: "It's not about ego for them. It's about practicality. That goes to the Buddhism Vs. Christianity thing. These martyr religions are ego-centric and narcissistic. There's a martyr figure who represents us so each of us walks around feeling special and like a martyr as opposed to religions based on our outward actions rather than our relationship with [God]."

Luke: "You've mainly been with Asian women for?"

David: "About nine years."

Luke: "Why didn't you have this conversation about the death of porn creativity on XPT, where there's a much more erudite audience?"

David: "I love XPT. I like the lion cage at the zoo too but I'm not about to jump in there with hamburger smeared all over me."

Luke: "Are you alt-porn?"

David: "I was alt before there was alt, therefore I am not alt. If you look at everything I did from my first shows for John Bowen were the same stuff they're calling alt now -- tattooed people, piercings, S-M. I hate the term "alt" applied to anything. It's another example of the failure of imagination of this generation that they would name themselves after an internet discussion forum designation."

Luke: "Why do you think Eon McKai receives so much media?"

David: "Because he works so hard at it. I don't have a PR guy. I don't have an exclusive art guy. Most of us don't. People work very hard [to get that much attention]. You know, Luke, with Joanna Angel sucking up to you."

Luke: "I thought it was my genuine personality that so entranced her?"

David laughs: "Yeah."

Luke: "I thought it was my wit and wisdom and our common background in Orthodox Judaism."

David: "I'm sure she enjoys that, but do you think she'd have as much time for you if you weren't breathlessly reprinting every word she said for hundreds of thousands of people to read?"

Luke: "Yes."

David: "There's a great New York magazine online about JT Leroy. It's similar to alt-porn. It's a poseur, a faker, who knew what she liked and knew what other people liked. So she created this persona of a dangerous street kid. Then Winona Ryder and Courtney Love bought into it."

Luke: "Are Eon McKai and Joanna Angel poseurs?"

David: "Would I be the first person to say that? Heck no. Do I say that? Heck yes."

Luke: "Do you think their body of work justifies the amount of media exposure they've received?"

David: "You've nailed it on the head. Even though you are putting words in my mouth, I will accept those words. Their body of work in no way justifies the amount of attention they've been given."

Luke: "What is your favorite Eon McKai movie?"

David: "It would be the autobiographical one where he's found dead of erotic asphyxiation outside one of Santa Monica's gay bars."

Luke: "Oh, that one."

David: "The one that he's working on now.

"I love a paunchy guy in his 30s who looks more like me than his little cartoon representative of himself. He uses that little Emo boy who's supposed to be him."

Luke: "Do you think Eon genuinely spells that badly or is it part of his shtik?"

David: "It's shtik. He has a background with words. His misspelling and bad grammar are not consistent enough to point to actual deficiencies. It's more like he sits there and jumbles it up after he writes it.

"It's cool to be ignorant and illiterate now. MySpace has accomplished that.

"Considering that the guy is a schoolteacher when he's not doing this..."

Luke: "Would you have sex with Joanna Angel if she offered it?"

David: "Both sides of that equation do not compute."

Luke: "That's a yes."

David: "No."

Luke: "You would refuse a hummer?"

David: "Yes."

Luke: "On moral principle."

David: "Unless we had been properly blessed by the church of Alt, I think it would be morally wrong.

"You really need copy? 'It's a slow day. Let me call Clark. He always runs at the mouth when I call him.'

"Just try to make me look bright and not overly bitter. That's all I ask."

Luke: "Why don't you have your own website with your own Emo boys?"

David: "I do have my own website -- www.davidaaronclark.com. I stopped updating it."

Luke: "Video Team owns it."

David: "I don't update it because I don't make any money off it."

I email Christian Mann at Video Team to ask why he doesn't pay David to update his website. Christian won't comment to me. He'd probably run at the mouth if asked by some emo alt-porn journalist.

David: "I don't make enough money off of porn where I can do things for free. I don't take the easy road. I don't have time for the many projects I'd love to do that [don't pay]."

Luke: "Have you morally renounced creampies?"

David: "Anal. The other are ok under limited circumstances. Certainly if it is a couple."

Luke: "Can one man make a creampie inside a woman? Doesn't it take a bunch of men to contribute lots of cream?"

David: "You're becoming too deeply affected by this business. A cream pie is just..."

Luke: "An internal cumshot."

David: "Yes. Your fantasies are much richer than the reality, unless you're Devil's Films. They do the 50-man anal creampies with Ariana Jollee and the other charming examples of womanhood."

Luke: "Did you lose respect for her when she had sex with a tranny?"

David: "No. Trannies are fine with me. It's hilarious how upset people in this business get about trannies. You can be a drug-addicted double-anal whore but that person over there likes to wear a dress. He's sick."

Luke: "Do you respect trannies enough to want to have intimate relations?"

David: "There's a difference between respect and desire. I respect you deeply but I don't desire you."

Luke: "I don't want you sexually."

David: "I don't think there's going to be a Luke, Joanna, David sandwich unless it's some horrible nightmare one night, one of those things where you wake up three times and every time it is worse."

Luke: "Are you erotically attracted to trannies?"

David: "Not for the most part. I've met a couple who moved me. The first time I met Vanity, she moved me, but I wasn't with her [sexually]."

Luke: "Are you working on any new novels?"

David: "God no. I have an unpublished one. I'm reading all this about these fake memoirists and the one I have, the last one I wrote and never tried to get published, even though I call it fiction, it is the opposite. It is a 99% accurate memoir of my degenerate life of sex and drugs up through San Francisco, ending in 1998."

Luke: "Does it have a redemptive third act?"

David: "Depends what you would call redemption. Most would say and I guess that's why I'm not where JT Leroy and James Frey are. If only I could've concocted a redemptive third act."

Luke: "It's not too late. You can still be saved. You can still have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ."

David: "I've had personal relations with Jesus Christ. It was kinda fulfilling, but like any relationship, after a while, it gets old.

"It's a good thing I don't leave my apartment much because I'm not going to be able to get out of it once you put this on your computer."

Luke: "You sound hale and hearty."

David: "I'm more pale and hearty. I'm fine. I'm adapting to middle-age. I just turned 45.

"It was disturbing at first. You're going to get there soon."

Luke: "I turn 40 in four months."

David: "When I turned 45, it dawned on me that I'm an adult now. Not a good one, but..."

Luke: "What's your age demographic for women?"

David: "I don't have one."

Luke: "You're into Asian boys."

David: "In theory I'm attracted to women. I just don't happen to be at the moment.

"[David's age demographic] is from the mid twenties to, I'd love to meet one my age."

Luke: "Are there are a lot of 45-year old Asian women in porn?"

David: "No. Do I still rob the cradle? Yes, but not actively. They have to sucker me into it. I'm keenly aware that I'm only following in a grand tradition established by Humbert H. Humbert."

Luke: "You're with a lot of twelve-year-old girls?"

David: "I was speaking in a literary sense, not a literal sense."

Luke: "So you're with girls who literarily are twelve years old but in actuality are 21."

David: "Or older. I'm not quite charmed by the 18-21-year-olds like I used to be. You've heard all their stories before and they don't have many."

Luke: "Do you like them to call you daddy?"

David: "Only on screen."

David makes about nine movies a year. He hated the mainstream movie Memoirs of a Geisha. "I cackled all the way through it, unlike Munich where I only laughed at the end."

Luke: "The best English-language you've seen in a few months?"

David: "The Lady From Shanghai (1947) by Orson Welles. There aren't any Asians in it. Don't be fooled by the title. It's not because I got off on it in some fetishistic manner.

"The most magnificent movie I've seen in any language in any year, perhaps, is 2046 (2004). It's about a cynical writer who turned his back on conventional life and is now paying the price for it by living in a hotel and churning out his crap and having aimless and empty encounters with the women who pass through the room next door."

Luke: "Have you seen Good Night, and Good Luck (2005)?"

David: "Thank you for hitting the reset button in my memory. I thought it was extraordinary and I didn't even want to see it.

"In 2046, you can see two actresses from Memoirs of a Geisha acting in their native languages instead of phonetically."

David and I wonder about the wherabouts of Papillon. Last I knew she lived in the Philippines.

David: "Have I destroyed whatever career I have left for the purpose of the day's update?"

Luke: "Shredding people is what gives me meaning in life."

David: "Unlike most people, I do not blame you for what I say. I blame me."

Luke: "You don't drive?"

David: "I don't want to die a violent death. I want to die in my sleep or in a movie theater."

Luke: "At what age do you think you'll kick the bucket?"

David: "If I was superstitious, I wouldn't answer that, but I'd say somewhere in the next ten years."

Luke: "What would you like said at your memorial service?"

David: "I'd only care if my small amount of good friends were there. They should remember me however they want. I'd rather be remembered by friends on a personal level than on some level of accomplishment."

Luke: "Porn Editor Cut Up By Kinky Cutie."

David: "They can wear that t-shirt [from a New York Post headline about an incident in David's tortured love life] to my wake. I miss her. She was great."

Luke: "She sounded like an edgy girl."

David: "She was alt."

Luke: "How does a man relate to a woman he's dating who cuts herself?"

David: "It's become a trend, and therefore I find it repulsive. I used to cut myself. I cut myself on stage. It was the same urge, the same trying to deal with issues by acting out.

"I guess another name for Emos is wrist-cutters."

Luke: "What is emo?"

David: "It's short for emotional. It used to be called emo-core. People point to Minor Threat as the fundament emo-core band (led by Ian MacKaye)."

Luke: "What if she cuts herself and drinks the blood? What's the proper response?"

David: "I hope you're having sex with her."

Luke: "Sex is the proper response?"

David: "When they're feeling that down and out, sex is always the proper response.

"Reassure yourself that it is just a phase. If they are getting blood on your stuff, make sure they get tested."

Luke: "This is jolly."

David: "You took it this way."

Upon reading our interview in the early hours of Wednesday morning, Clark emailed me: "Damn, all that wit & it goes down quicker than Joanna Angel backstage @ a Rancid concert?"