Tuesday, January 10, 2006
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Holly Randall's Convention Diary
Chris’ roommate is the only one in shape to drive home. Thank goodness. I lay down in the back seat and let their idle chatter and the background music wash over me. I roll onto my side and watch the scenery pass by me. I reflect on how my drive home how was so much different last year. Last year, the drive home was four hours with a man I didn’t know too well but fell in love with at the end of the trip. That’s all it took him—four hours to capture a heart which had eluded so many for 27 years. Not the case now—I lost him. I close my eyes. It’s much easier to sleep than think.
Keep Your Hands Where I Can See Them
Gregg Easterbrook writes on NFL.com:
My compromise with my Baptist upbringing is to be pro-topless but anti-gambling. Gambling destroys lives. No one should care how much Donald Trump loses at the roulette wheel, but average people are seduced with false promises of instant wealth and gamble away money they need to pay their bills. Government lotteries, which exist to bilk the poor and working-class, are as much to blame as any glittering casino or offshore sports book. That government lotteries market their tickets in convenience stores and liquor stores, places catering to the poor and working-class, ought to be a source of outrage. Since the global capital of toplessness is Las Vegas, my anti-gambling views cause me to have conflicted opinions about Nevada's glitter city. While gambling's main contributions to human existence are unhappiness and regret, erotic dancing seems something that celebrates one of the pleasures of this short life. I'd be perfectly content if Vegas was a city built on topless showgirls rather than slot machines.
Krystal Steal No Longer AClub Jenna Girl?
She did not attend the October photo shoot for Club Jenna's AVN promo material shoot. She was not seen signing at the Club Jenna booth during the recent AVN Expo in Las Vegas.
Brian writes: "I'm in the Philly area. Krystal is appearing in the next week or so at a Risque Video store. They are promoting the hell out of it on the radio. And they mention Club Jenna and that Krystal is a JennaGirl about 20 times..If she got the boot, I wonder if Club Jenna knows she is still bening promoted that way."
James DiGiorgio's Notes From The Show
Although I didn't attend, a number of people told me the Tera Patrick party sucked. Also, that photographs were not permitted inside her little soiree... not even by any of porn's legitimate photo-journalists. What's wrong with that picture? Isn't one of the purposes of throwing a party to get some publicity? The next day (or maybe it was two days later-- keeping track of time ain't my strong suit), on the show floor, I happened to be standing in front of the Damaged Pictures booth when Tera came walking by. Someone raised a small digital camera to grab a shot but Tera quickly snapped at the would-be photographer, "No pictures!" she snarled in a most egregious way and ungraciously stormed off.
Some guy who was hired to put up the booths for Smash Pictures and others got busted for heroin and, consequently, Smash Pictures and some other company's booths didn't get erected until Friday or Saturday. Oh well! s--- happens, right? I guess hiring drug addicts ain't the smartest thing to do when so much is on the line even if hiring drug addicts ain't all that unusual for other, more common-place porn-related activities.
Rob Black got in my face for awhile, then he chilled a bit, then he spent about an hour explaining Rob Black to me. As a result, there exists a "detente" between us. I now have all Rob's phone numbers and he has all mine and if I'm going to talk some s--- about him I promised to run said s--- by him first to get his take on it and he promised to call me if he has a problem with any s--- I might stir regarding him or Extreme. I'm thinking keeping the lines of communications open is a good thing whether it's world politics or porn bulls---.
Porn Star Jenny Hendrix on tour
I'm cold and lonely in NYC until 1/10! Won't you keep me warm?
After I leave NYC I'm going on tour to... Chicago: 1/11-1/12 Boston: 1/16-1/17 Washington, D.C.: 1/18-1/19 Philadelphia: 1/23-1/24 NYC: 1/30-2/7
Email me at xxxjennyhendrix@y... I'll email you back right away! My donation is $1,300 per hour. I accept all major credit cards but I will give a $50 discount per hour for cash. Incall or outcall!
I've always felt a girl can charge whatever she feels she's worth, but $1300 direct? OK, Jenny's cute... but she's certainly no LA LaMann, Lezley Zen or even Taylor Rain. And pornstar? Maybe one day, but not yet... iafd.com shows her with ONE movie, "Face Blasters" from 2005. Search Extreme has her appearing on one website, "Captain Stabbin'", but I think by now she's done more.
This isn't meant as an affront to Jenny, but let's be honest. Go to Eros and browse the photos there and again, as nice looking as Jenny is, there are literally hundreds of local and/or touring providers who equal or exceed Jenny's looks for $300/hr. And there's lots of those who get 10's for their performance review.
The difference in price between a PSE and a non-PSE is mostly the fantasy factor, isn't it? At least that's what we tell those guys on TER and TBD who from time to time pose the "what makes pornstars worth the price" question... We're paying 5 times or greater the amount for the fantasy of being with a pornstar. But over the five years that I've been participating in this hobby, the definition of a pornstar has become a LOT broader.
When I discovered the PSE and these forums, I was like a pig in s---... to think that I could actually have sex with the women I'd rubbed one out to! Names like Keisha, Taylor Wayne, Tracey Adams, Farrah, Kelly Jaye, J.R. Carrington; now THEY were porn STARS!
I'm sure younger guys have their own fantasy girls, but the concept is the same. These are the girls we watch on video, whack off to, buy their magazine layouts, and travel to AVN and wait in line for an hour to get an autograph from.
I'm a collector by nature... at one time I owned over 3000 record albums - I'd buy them 10 at a time when they were on sale (keep in mind that they were a lot cheaper when I was buying them). But one day while going through my collection I discovered unopened albums, I realized that it was no longer about the music... it had become about the collectiong itself... after that I radically curtailed my purchases and only bought music I really enjoyed listening to.
As fun as this hobby is, I've seen most of the ladies I've wanted to meet... now I find that I'm not as willing as I used to be to pay four figures to meet a PSE that hasn't been an object of my fantasies... In fact, in the last 8 months, I've only met one new lady; Ava Devine, and that was more because of her reviews and over the top performance than it was because she had made XXX videos.
So in my opinion, it's time to get back to basics and remember that one video or a few website appearances doesn't make a pornstar, and it's time to start taking a little control by just not paying $1000+ for a cute but average looking girl who has yet to establish herself in the business. And remember, if people are willing to pay $1300 for a relative newcomer, when someone like Devon, Jessie Jane or Teagan Presley decides to escort, their rate goes sky high and we all bitch about how they've priced themselves out of the average hobbyist's range. But we have no one to blame but ourselves.
Show Notes
* I try to say hi to Jenna Presley. "I'm on the phone with my grandma," she says. "I keep trying to tell her that I'm at AVN and I can't talk right now."
* Gigi Appleton (owner of Avalon Entertainment) gives me such a powerful hug (lifting me off the ground) that it pops something in my back. For the past three days, I've been hobbling around in agony.
Gentle reader, I'm fragile. I'm not into rough sex nor rough hugs. Feel free to express your deepest feelings via email, however.
* I heard there was a feud between XXXChurch pastors Craig Gross and Mike Foster but that was not the real story. The two longtime friends are always fighting in the way married couples fight but they've never called off their friendship.
* I spot Tony T hanging out in the Anabolic booth. There's obviously no falling out between him and the owner Chris.
Vivid Twin Tease - Lacey & Lindsay Love
Friday, Jan 6. "We started out as an adult website," says Lindsay. "You could buy time with us on the internet. Not in person. Then we were offered a photoshoot for Genesis last August. We got the contract with Vivid last January. We've never done stripping."
The twins have the website twintease.com. In the movies, they always do the same guy but they won't do anything with each other.
"We've always wanted to be in Adult," says Lindsay. "It's really cool."
"What did you want to be when you grew up?"
"A vet. But then I thought about putting animals to sleep. I can't do that. Then I thought about model, but I was too short. So we ended up in this."
"We always wanted to do everything the same," says Lacey. "We're closer friends than ever."
"Were you competitive about guys in highschool?"
"When we were younger," says Lindsay. "She tried to steal my boyfriend."
"Yeah, in junior high, I tried to kiss her boyfriend," says Lacey. "I was jealous that she had a cuter boyfriend than me. So I started kissing him."
"How has this affected your love life?"
"Not yet. We live in Ohio," says Lindsay, "so nobody really knows about us yet."
"People in California know more," says Lacey. "They find out faster."
Paris Interview
As a kid, she wanted to become a veterinarian.
In highschool in Stockton, she hung out with a preppy crowd.
"I got into this industry [18-months ago] through my friend Summer. We did a girl-girl shoot in Hustler.
"I've only done girl-girl scenes (about 100) except for one, which I did with my boyfriend."
"What do you love and hate about this industry?"
"I love being f----- every day. I hate waking up so early."
"What are your life goals?"
"To make lots and lots of money and get f----- by every single guy out there."
In her spare time, Paris likes to party.
Kayden Kross Interview
As a kid, she wanted to become a lawyer.
She graduated from Ponderosa High School.
"I was working at a club in Sacramento [as a stripper] and the agent I work with now came in [three months ago] and recruited me."
Kross has done no sex scenes. She's pursuing a college degree in Psychology and has bought a house in Sacramento.
"Has working as a dancer and nude model affected your view of men?"
"Yes, but I won't say how. No. I've realized how they see life."
Gia Jordan At The Circle Bar
I was at [the] Circle Bar briefly Thursday night. Or as I call it 'Chatsworth Island.' I sat by myself to soak it all in after William H left to get drinks. Soon I was approached by Skronker from ADT, Von Swine, and then joined by Dane. Local hookers from the Venetian swarmed us and tried taking any of us, including me, up to a room. No takers. I noticed a guy staring at me and thought he looked totally familiar. It was Rude Jude! He tells me he's seen me do some nasty, nasty stuff and I ask him what he thought about the line from the Eminem song where he raps 'rude as jude.' He says he has a successful NYC radio show now, but he first heard that song at the lowest point in his life and it was uplifting.
Tiffany Holiday complimented me on her pic I posted and then I ran into Francesca Le, Mark Wood, and Brandon. Francesca and I were having a lovely conversation when some Broadway show guy basically starts asking us to teach him Porno 101- like 'what do your parents think about your career/ why do you do anal/ who provides the wardrobe on set?' Boooooooring! But Francesca's answers gave me the 411 that she's one of the most intelligent women in porn. I had to make my graceful exit and track down my drink.
On the way back to my room, some guy asked me 'how much.' I sock him square in the jaw and security comes up to me and asks if I know the guy. I tell them, 'apparently not.' I keep walking and they say they need to talk to me. I keep walking.
Buck Adams Interview
Thursday. "I'm doing a big 12-picture thing with Antigua Pictures," says Buck. "Antigua handles Jenna, Vivid. My movies fit right in the mix. I just keep my mouth shut and smile a lot nowadays. We shoot in HD (High-Definition). We buy our own equipment so we don't have to rent or deal with anybody. If JM or Vivid want to use our equipment, we can let 'em do that.
"I am in good health. I got to come up here and party one night [Wednesday] and I woke up the next day and still felt good. I'm horsing around all day today. I banged the hell out of my knee last night."
Buck looks at a man employed in a gay booth walking around in his underwear. "After seeing that, you can never bitch about your job again.
"I'm trying to stay not too serious with any one particular woman. I'm trying to keep as many around as I can.
"It's not like the old days where Buck could smoke crack all night and go through half a gallon of tequila. I can have a couple of drinks and not drop over dead. We're not trying to keep that to a minimum.
"Can we move away from the little guy in the glo-white underwear?"
We do.
"I only shot five movies last year. I'm going to shoot 24 this year. I've put together a nice production team. That way I just roll in and yell, 'Action!' and 'Cut!' and 'Can I have my decaffeinated coffee?'
"I have simple goals in life now. I want to make it to the end of the show without dropping dead or embarrassing myself, which I'm probably do. Give it a couple of days, Luke. This interview might get more exciting. Right now it's happy Buck and rather boring.
"When I was getting ready to walk in the door of the show, it was like, 'OK, let's do this again for the 20th time.'
"This morning this girl comes in the elevator. She's got on this little cute top. The door swings open. The guy is just staring at her. She's unzipped her top without thinking because she's so high or hungover. Her boobs are hanging out. The guy says, 'I like coming to these porno shows. What more could you ask for at 7am?' She was just coming back from the party."
"What kind of girls are you looking to meet? Civilians or porn girls?"
"I don't care. Any girls are good girls. Anyone smiles at me, I'm right back at you, babe. Damn glad to meet you."
"You're not ready to settle down with one woman?"
"I hope not."
Show Notes
* Internext was a ghost town. Some Wegcash Internext pictures, AEE, AVN Awards.
* Friday night. I approach Paul Cambria at the circle bar. He's talking to someone who doesn't like me. I ask the husky beared guy, "Did I write something bad about you?"
"Yes," he says. "But it was a long time ago."
It turned out to be John Kenney aka Bo of LGI Distributors.
* Thursday night. Circle Bar. "Webmasters are night creatures," says webmaster Adam Grayson of SearchExtreme.com. "Video people are 9-5. Webmasters do their business over dinner and over drinks. Video people do their's on the show floor. It's important to have a presence."
* "I respect Dion Giarusso," says Mike South, "because people pay their bills to him on time. And he pays his bills on time. When he was with Elegant Angels, I never had any issues. He was always straight-up."
* I chat with Vivid girl Lanni Barbie. Julian walks up and shakes my
hand. "Julian, do you know Lanni?" I ask.
"I'm married to Lani," he says. They hug.
* Derrick Pierce says Adam & Eve director Nic Orleans owes him $1,400 from a shoot a month ago. Nic is famous for late-paying. Derrick says Nic won't return his calls.
"He changed scenes on me the day before the shoot," says Derrick, who's had nine shooters. "And he asked me to reduce my rate after the scene was done because he wasn't happy after he changed the scene in the first place."
"I hear good things about you from Holly Randall."
"I love that girl. I love her mom. I love her crew. I love Chris, the cameraman."
* Mark Kramer looks happy. He says his hair is growing back and is no longer turning grey now that he's no longer working as head of production at LFP.
* David Gorman (formerly of LFP Video) has started a new porn venture with the son of Phil Silvers (Sgt. Bilko).
* My friend Harry says he saw someone who looked just like me getting a shoeshine. The one difference -- that man had completely grey hair. I guess he saw a ghost of my future.
* Platinum X Pictures has been folded into Red Light District. David Joseph runs the show. Jewel DeNyle's parents work in marketing.
* Keith O'Connor at Defiance Films tells me Thursday: "All anybody wants to see is a tranny. We've got Vanity coming Saturday along with Cindy Crawford."
* A Christian woman at the show tells me she won't take the no-porno pledge at the XXXChurch because it includes a no-masturbation clause. "If I masturbate while thinking about my husband," she says, "what's wrong with that?"
* XXX writes from Smash Pictures: "All Sat & Sunday Delilah Strong's mom was in the booth and she's a knockout. She's now a personal trainer and is smoking hot like a model, like actress Teri Hatcher. She's not an old wrinkled up MILF yet hot like on the show "Desperate Housewives." On Sunday mini me from Austin Powers came to the booth on his little cart."
* Tom Byron says he's lost 35-pounds and is returning to performing. "I quit smoking. I cut out refined sugars and carbs. I do cardio. We're rolling along at Evolution Erotica. We're knocking down any doors but we're doing all right. I'm looking at a lot of girls that I want to book when I get home."
Tom says that Sunny Lane has a Traci Lords vibe.
* Dion Giarusso writes on ADT:
I think theres a better chance of seeing Kobe and Shaq back together, before you will see me with Vince. I think Tom Byron is very talented, but I think Rob Black has some kind of Spell over the Icon. I would love to have Mike John, but he didn't return my phone call. I would like to talk to Jon Dough, hopefully he will call me. I live down the street from Pat Myne, he is a good guy, I like him allot, but he is with Zero and 3rd Degree, and the owner is a good friend of mind, I will leave that alone. There is some good unknown talent out there, and I hope to make something happen with these Guys or Girls.
Bill writes: "Based on a conversationthat I had with Manuel [Ferrara] this past week, he did leave RLD for a period of time. However, he has decided to return to RLD."
* I'm told that a Los Angeles talent agent has weekly meetings with an escort agency and earns a hefty commission for his porn girls who do that work.
The Plight Of Cassia Riley
Chaim writes:
I know you are not presently interested in the plight of the Jewess, but is there nothing that you can do to save at least the reproductive potential of a Cassia Riley for the Jews? If not you, then maybe somewhere out there is a nice yeshiva boy who'd make her a proper jewish husband. She seems so poisoned by popular culture that she is in dire need of a good preacher man. Unfortunately, Judaism does not produce preacher men interested in saving souls for Jehova. This is the sort of detachment from reality that made the extermination of Polish Jewry an especially straightforward task. I call upon you, Levi ben Israel, to begin a line of Jewish preacher-men, going where Chabad dares not. Bare-souled, without a condom on your neshama. Fiercely contesting both Satan and Shaegetz for the souls of fertile Jewish girls. Do this, and I promise you a double portion of the afterlife. Remember, only via semen and egg can the legacy of Adolf Hitler be reversed.
Remember, just as one should not make a living through Torah, so too ought one not make a living through the skin trade. The opposite sides of the same coin, in the cosmic sense. In fact, ought there not be a Jubilee year for porn, in which all porn sets lie fallow?
Tiffany Holiday - doing okay?
Here she is at AEE 2006 with Jasmine Byrne.
Looks to me like she's doing okay. A lot better than that crazy pic would lead one to believe. It seems rumours of her impending doom have been greatly exaggerated!
But... what's up with those lips? Is it collagen?
Ah well, least she all right. She even put on a show for the slavering masses.
Suze Randall To Shoot Amy Reid With Derrick Pierce
Pete writes on ADT: "SportyOne says a "popular" model will be doing a b/g shoot for Suze Randall soon. There's no indication as to whether the model is Internet or magazine. Does anyone have any idea who it might be?"
Actarus96 writes:
Taken from suze.net:
SUZE RANDALL'S studio & location shoots for January 2006 January 11th ~ Maya Hills & Scott Nails January 13th ~ Maya Hills & Celeste Star January 17th ~ Maya Hills, Nadia Styles & Scott Nails January 19th ~ Maya Hills & Sunny Lane January 24th ~ Amy Ried & Derrick Pierce
My guess is sportyone is referring to Amy Reid aka Devin Valencia. My understanding is that as Devin, she did a few hardcore vids, then changed her name and was doing lez-only. I guess she's willing to do hardcore photoshoots (no video).
Holly replies to me: "Yup, that's the one. I picked Derrick as the male performer because he's really nice to the girls and he seems to make them very comfortable."
Show Report
Looks like Jasmine Byrne has been doing her crunches. Check out that toned tummy. Damn.
Jenna Haze, still cute as ever, getting gropy with Naudia Nyce.
Here's Naudia again. She sure smiles real big. I like her new punk look.
Speaking of new looks, Flower Tucci must've started working out, cuz she's really toned up.
Riley Mason looked like she had fun. More pornstars should wear little hats!
I also dig Lexi Bardot's socks.
Check out Brian Pumper's bling. Lookit the size of that damn watch. Not to mention the giant medallion and chain. Ice on the wrist. Money ain't a thang, y'all.
Meanwhile, Montanna Rae stretches out in a racer outfit.
There's something about Hailey Young that makes her seem very approachable. But I wish she'd eat more pasta, get some meat on them ribs.
Who's the one on the left [Kylee Kross, Joanna's contract girl]? I like all the ink, makes her look real tuff! Guess Joanna Angel brought her...
Opinions on the AVN Awards. Skronker writes: "McKenzie Lee is a total shocker [as Best New Starlet]. That was such a strong category (instead of McKenzie, even, I would have expected Keri Sable ... if they were going to go that route). Mostly, I'm amazed that Sunny Lane didn't win -- she fits the role perfectly. McKenzie's hot -- but the award is premature."
Cassia Riley - Penthouse Pet Of The Year Runner-Up
Publicist Lainie Speiser emailed me Dec 29: "Come by the booth and interview Cassia Riley. She’s a sexy, sassy dirty girl. She’s way into hip hop, men with lots of tattoos and she always wears jeans that show her ass crack."
I stop by the booth and sit down with Cassia.
From Lainie's press release:
"I'm completely devoted to Penthouse and I love what I do," says gracious, sweet and petite Cassia Riley, Penthouse Magazine's Pet of the Year Runner Up for 2006. "This is the perfect job for me. I love thinking about all of the sexy guys who will be looking at my photos, I'll be traveling the world and hanging out with other gorgeous Penthouse Pets, and besides what other job would let me be naked all day?"
The 25-year-old from Los Angeles first graced the Penthouse pages in the April 2005 issue, also the very first time Cassia ever posed for a magazine scantily clad and/or otherwise. "I was managing a tanning salon and although I was good at that job I was restless and bored. I had this crazy, sexy wild side I needed to explore. I always used to watch the Penthouse Pets on Howard Stern's television show and I wanted to be one of them so badly!"
Once Cassia made the grade to Penthouse Magazine her enthusiasm and pride was so strong she tattooed the Penthouse key on the inside of her arm. "I'm proud to be a Penthouse Pet for life." In the coming year Cassia is looking forward to meeting her fans with Penthouse Pet of the Year Jamie Lynn whom she genuinely adores. "She tells everyone I'm her wife and I love that," and working hard on her brand new Penthouse website, www.sexycassia.com. "It's not just my name on there; I actually have become a real internet nerd and make a lot of the creative decisions and input."
During her down times, as short as they may be, Cassia enjoys staying at home, hanging out with friends and family and doting on her two pound Chihuahua, Rylie. "Yes I named her after myself, beneath my glamorous Pet of the Year Runner Up exterior is a real goofball who likes getting dirty and silly. I'll never change who I am." Cassia Riley graces the cover with an exclusive, brand, new photo shoot in the March 2006 issue of Penthouse Magazine, on sale at newsstands everywhere January 10.
Cassia says that as a kid she wanted to become a mom. "I don't want to be there right now, but I'm sure it'll happen. I've always wanted to be a mom and a wife. I never thought I'd end up in Penthouse."
"Did you get a bat mitzvah?"
"Oh no. My mom's Jewish. My dad's not. So I had the best of both worlds. I'm not a practicing Jew.
"In highschool, I hung out with normal people. I wasn't cool. I wasn't dorky. I was in the middle. I didn't do drugs. I drank. I was a little bit wild.
"My friend Jelena Jensen got me into the business. She introduced me to Stephen Hicks about a year ago. I started shooting for him right away.
"I don't do hardcore scenes. I do soft girl-girl videos."
"How has being a nude model affected your life?"
"It's made me more confident. I always knew I was a decent-looking girl, but I never thought that guys would drool over me. It's definitely boosted my self-esteem. My love life is better."
"How has your family reacted?"
"There are mixed reactions. My dad is all right with it. He doesn't love it. He deals with it. He's proud of me. It took my mom longer to warm up to it but she's proud of me too. Some of my family doesn't even know because they're real judgmental. One of my New Year's resolutions was to let all of my family know and they're going to accept me or they're out of my life. My mom didn't want me to let them all know."
"What type of men are you attracted to?"
"I love big guys with tattoos. I like the rough guy. I like a little bit of ghetto in them. You can't be a pretty boy. You can't wear Polo shirts. You've got to be hardcore. I like 'em bad."
"Has that ever been dangerous for you?"
"Oh no. It's only been good. I'm really careful about who I get involved with. I don't date around too much. I have a group of people I hang out with. I don't let anyone new come in and be crazy with me."
Jim Goad Update
He calls me at 10pm Sunday. I get out of bed to answer the phone.
"I'm calling from LAX headed for Melbourne," Jim says. "There's a satirical religious TV show ("Speaking in Tongues with John Safran and Father Bob") down there that's flying me in for six days to talk about female-instigated domestic violence.
"I didn't think I'd be able to get a passport, but I did. The red flags haven't gone up yet."
Jim mainly writes for Vice magazine. His zine Answer Me is getting reprinted (including the rape issue). Feral House will publish Jim Goad's Giant Book of Sex, putting together everything he's written about sex in the past five years.
Goad lives in rural Pennsylvania.
"Do you have any advice for me?" asks Jim. "Don't throw rocks at Aboriginees?"
"Be careful whose didgeridoo you blow.
"You still got the bald head look?"
"Yeah. And the Iron Cross."
"You don't miss the city?"
"Not at all. I just got a taste of the city waiting for the baggage screening."
"What's going on with your movie?"
"They've renewed the option. People keep getting sick. I don't think they've done much with it."
"What have you been reading?"
"I don't do much reading unless it is for research. I've got A History of Prostitution in my bag."
"When you go through customs in Australia, almost everyone is white, while when you go through customs in America, most people seem to be black."
"I hope I won't get nabbed on hate-speech charges. Australia was always one of those countries where Answer Me would get seized."
"They tend to be tougher on rape stuff."
Notes On The Show
* Tara posts to ADT: "Mari Possa is the new Adam and Eve contract girl. Keri Sable is a no-show for Wicked. Alektra is engaged to Pat Myne. Lanny Barbie is not retirng (I asked her point blank). All the Club Jenna girls seemed to be present on trade day except for Krystal Steal. It looks like Vivid has a new girl (I forgot to get her name.) TeraVision added Jasmyne Taylor from Australia."
* What was the crowd reaction to Rob Black winning the Reuben Sturman award? By that time, most of the crowd was out of it. At least half had left the show.
* For Best New Starlet, only five girls appeared on the nominations of AVN, Den of CAVR.com, and Roger Pipe of RogReviews.com: Sunny Lane, Flower Tucci, Hillary Scott, Jasmine Byrne, Taryn Thomas.
* Tony Malice's AEE 06 Pics - Day 1 Day 2 Day 3
* Ava Vincent (who signs for Penthouse) says there's a new magazine coming out from the editors of Maxim called Shock, which will profile her this summer.
* Saturday, 7:30pm. I go to the Circle Bar with my roommate. I see a small guy with a bald head and a wheelchair beside him.
"I wonder if that's Da Burglar, my guest-blogger," I say to my roomie.
"Go introduce yourself," she says.
I go up to him and say my name. He lights up.
It's the first time we've met.
We chat for ten minutes.
I didn't make it to the show floor on Saturday, instead spending my time reading, napping and walking the strip.
I never got to meet XPT poster Willie D, Da Burglar's friend.
Tiffany Rayne Interview
I interview her at the Smash Pictures booth Thursday.
"I love sex," says Tiff. "I was tired of school. I was tired of people talking s---. So I just branched out and became a porn star.
"I never took anyone's boyfriend. I don't think that's right. They were just haters.
"I've always wanted to be a porn star, since as [far back] as I remember. I love sex. I love being naked.
"I remember watching porn videos when I was really little.
"What I love [about porn] are all the hot guys and girls. I hate getting the shot to take my blood out to get tested every month. I believe testing is necessary. I just hate that shot."
"How did being a porn star affect your love life?"
"It changed it. It made my outlook on guys different. I look at guys in a different way. Some guys are only looking for ass. Some guys like you for you. Right now I'm not trying to have a relationship."
Tiffany says her life goal is "to have a family and support them. I'm not going to plan anything now because I don't want to disappoint myself."
"How did family and friends react to your getting into porn?"
"My mom freaked the f--- out. My dad is a born-again Christian. He's real supportive. My grandparents don't like what I do but that's because they don't understand it. They support me."
2 plead guilty in 13M prosty ring
From the New York Daily News:
A man and his girlfriend have pleaded guilty to raking in $13.5 million over the last four years from a prostitution ring that promised porn stars as escorts, Manhattan federal prosecutors said yesterday.
Ringleader Rady Abdel Salem Abbassy, 45, pleaded guilty to money-laundering charges Thursday, becoming the most recent of 10 defendants to admit involvement with the Manhattan-based sex ring.
Federal prosecutors say that between 2000 and 2004, the operation advertised New York Elites and Exotica 2000 as escort services on the Internet. "In reality, however, the service offered by New York Elites/Exotica 2000 was simply sex in exchange for money," said Manhattan U.S. Attorney Michael Garcia.
The ring's Web site touted popular adult film stars as escorts for $500 to $1,500 an hour. It also promised to send escorts for trips outside New York.
Prosecutors say Abbassy and his girlfriend, co-owner Elena Trochtchenkova, 40, set up front companies to cloak the source of their income. The millions paid for a home for Trochtchenkova as well as a Brooklyn restaurant they co-owned. Trochtchenkova pleaded guilty Dec. 30 to five felony charges, including transporting individuals for prostitution and money laundering. She faces up to 75 years in prison. Abbassy faces up to 40 years. Eight other employees who answered phones and processed payments have pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges.
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Andrew Blake Interview
Thursday. "How do you maintain your interest in work that is so easy to burn out on?"
Andrew: "I don't think it is easy to burn out on if you use good taste, beautiful women, beautiful wardrobe."
"What's your favorite part of your work?"
"The editing."
"Do industry trends affect you or do you keep doing what you want to do?"
"The only industry trend I follow is packaging to make it more difficult for pirates."
"What do you want to accomplish at the show?"
"It's not so much business as meeting the fans and letting the fans meet the girls."
Ruby Interview
She's about 22, with black hair flowing down her waist.
We talk at the Hustler booth.
"I hung out with everyone in highschool. I was the girl who sat in the back of the class and made snickering remarks about the jocks.
"I was at Humboldt State studying Marine Biology, but it rained too much and totally depressed me. I came back down to the Bay Area and I decided that I was a camera-ham. I started stripping. Now I'm naked on camera."
She first did porn in June 2004. She's done six scenes, one with a guy (her boyfriend).
"How has it affected you to do porn?"
"I've become more sexually aware. I study how I look on camera. I've become more expressive vocally.
"I love that [through porn] I get to travel and meet new people and see different lifestyles.
"What do I hate? My hair extensions."
Ruby says she's naturally monogamous.
"How have family and friends reacted to this?"
"They haven't. My grandmother found out. She's a hardcore feminist from the '70s. She helped raise me."
In her spare time, Ruby likes to party and play videogames.
Riley Mason Interview
We talk Thursday at the huge Hustler booth.
As a kid, she wanted to be an anthropologist.
"What happened to that dream?"
"Nothing. I just don't want to do that anymore. I want to do make-up now."
"What crowd did you hang out with in highschool?"
"Punk rockers."
"What got you into the porn industry?"
"I wanted attention."
She entered porn in July. She's done about 50 scenes. "I love the money. I hate the way people judge you."
"How has it affected your love life?"
"At first my boyfriend was cool with it. At first he really liked it. Then he started to get weird. I don't know."
"What are your ambitions?"
"I'd like to buy a house."
"How did family and friends react to your getting into porn?"
"Some people don't like it and some people support me anyways."
"How do you think [porn] has affected you?"
"I've become more tolerant."
Taylor Rain Attacks AVN, Then Scott Fayner Apologizes
She writes on lukeford.com (and I post this as an example of her opinions, I do not know that Fayner was banned from the AVN Awards, nor do I have evidence of anyone getting an AVN award through having sex with Paul Fishbein or Mike Ramone or anyone at AVN, though it is a common charge, nor do I know of anyone taking Heidi Pike-Johnson to lunch and thereby gaining an award):
Fayner was banned, he knows too much dirt on Ramone and Fishbein and he's too honest, honesty and integraty don't mix with AVN well.
I didn't win anything, AGAIN. I guess it really is true, the only way you win is to f--- Fishbein, suck off Mike Ramone or take Heidi Pike's fat ass out for free lunches. I was hopin I'd win based on my work for this and the last 5 years, oooopsie, I made a poooopsie. I just woke up and realized that the AVN crew are more of a whore than I could ever be. I'm glad to be retired, so I don't have to see those bribe taking f---ers again.
Heidi Pike-Johnson's latest contribution to the AVN Insider is by-lined "Heidi Joy Pike." I wonder why.
Scott Fayner posts on www.lukeford.com:
I was not in fact banned from the AVN Awards. To make a long story short, I was told by someone that Mike Ramone told her I was banned from the show. Instantly I went to Mike and told him that was f---ed up. "What he said?" I told him what she had just told me. "Complete bulls---. We've always gotten along. I told her I couldn't give you a ticket 'cause the only remaining ones are for nominees and hot chicks.
Instantly I believed him and apologized. I felt like a dick. I hope he believed it. I found out later the girl had lied to me and plan to find out why right away So this is here to again say sorry to Mike for accusing him.
And to say that when I ran into Paul he seemed sincere in his promise to work some magic for me. Unfortunately for me Paul most likely was trying to get many people in and had no time. I thank him for even stopping on the convention floor for a chat with me, who is probabaly now considered the worst person to be seen with in Vegas, and doing so pretty much labels you the pinned out waste product trouble on the horizon ready to OD freak I have been unjustly labeled. Later we'll get into that as well 'cause I got some things to say about supposed friends who feel they should keep their distance from me while in public in fear of association. And as Paul told me, I should have made arrangments for a press pass months before when they sent them out. Not to say I didn't have a ticket through another company, but it was revealed hours before that someone had given all the reserved ones to other people. Again, sorry to Mike and AVN for this.
Random Show Notes
* About ten companies don't have their booths up in time because the company (connected to Gia Paloma?) they hired don't live up to their obligations. There's talk of bankruptcy and heroin. Companies put up their own booths. Some (such as Extreme's) don't become erect until Friday.
* After I snap a few photos of Robin Leach (Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous) at the Smash booth, he says: "You can't publish those. They are only for your private use. If you publish them, you'll have a lawyer crawling all over you."
* Some booths show hardcore video with ejaculation and other booths pixilate out the penetration.
* The Venetian doesn't have adequate parking for CES, let alone the additional porn conventions. The place is a mess. People are delayed for hours.
* Sophie Dee is engaged to her black agent Lee Bang.
* Jenna Presley says I'm mean for making fun of her MySpace post that she was going to the Ivy to have dinner and if her fans wanted it, she could bring along 8x10s to autograph for them. "Twenty five fans showed up," she says.
* I meet Nyomi Marcella with director David Clark. "Didn't you do scenes with your sister Jade?" I ask. She blushes.
* Alana Evans says Gia Paloma claims she's hooked up with Alana's longtime boyfriend Chris Justice and become pregnant by him. Alana says this is not true.
"How's Gia Paloma?" I ask Chris later.
"Shut up," he says seriously. "If my girl [Alana] hears that, she'll flip."
Chris says he's "working a lot for Extreme Associates and getting paid very little."
* Christi Lee complains that Tiffany Taylor is stuck-up. Christy complains that Tiffany told her to "shut the ---- up."
Christi says she's a respected porn star of three years who always gives a hot scene and she's ready for a contract.
* Thursday afternoon, Jan 5. I ran into a distraught Avy Lee Roth. She wasn't on the list for Mofo Girls and couldn't get into the AVN Expo. She wanted me to find Mike Ramone (AVN Editor). I didn't see Mike but after 90-panicked-minutes, Avy got someone else's badge and got into the show.
* Contrary to what I reported months ago, I'm told that Patrick Collins did not sell Elegant Angel (not to David Joseph of Red Light District, not to anyone). I hear Patrick borrowed about $200,000 from David Joseph and that Patrick has paid virtually all of it back.
Collins would like to sell Elegant Angel but he wants too much money for it, about $15 million. Russell Hampshire sold VCA for about $3.7 million.
* I don't understand why so many directors have left Red Light. David Joseph fronted his directors hundreds of thousands of dollars. I hear Vince still owes David almost $500,000 and Erik Everhard and Mike John owe David close to $200,000. The directors will argue that they were not getting paid properly. There's even a story floating around from the director's side that David was "back-dooring them." That means that he purportedly sold stuff without it showing up in their royalties.
That's ironic because David levelled a similar charge against his brother Dion Giarusso two years ago.
* A couple of weeks ago, Vince Vouyer came to Red Light with bodyguards and lawyers and a subpoena for its accounting records. Vince's team copied the harddrives of the relevant Red Light computers.
* Red Light District accountant Miles Rennett is widely-hated by people ranging from RLD's directors (who cleared about $20,000 a month working for David Joseph) to make-up artists.
* I was told that Dion Giarusso was financing Tony T's new company through Dion's wife's brother, but Dion told me that was not true. I met Dion for the first time Jan 5.
* A member of the Flynt family shook my hand and said that almost everything I've written on the family is true.
* Courtney Cumz tells me she's not a Cuban rabbi. She says she's Assyrian-Canadian.
* Keri Sable is not moving to the East Coast and going to school. She lives with her parents in San Diego and claims that she alone made the decision to quit porn.
* Wanker Wang repeatedly attacks me at the Circle Bar. He's dying to squeeze my nipples. I fight him off the best I can, and succeed in keeping him away from under my shirt.
Friday night he catches me by surprise and plants a sloppy wet bareback kiss on my cheek.
My roommate says she'll be my bodyguard but she's never around when I need her. Saturday night at the AVN Awards, a civilian comes up to me, says my name, then, when I nod, he punches me in the shoulder. Later, he spills a drink on a webmistress friend of mine.
My roommate is neither big nor tall but she's wiry and fights dirty.
* Erica Kole's husband Mark berates me Thursday for my bad photography. He berates the Venetian for charging him $300 for a room that night. He claims that others got their rooms for half of that price.
* I catch up with Buck Adams, 53, at the Venetian's Circle Bar Wednesday night. He says he's survived seven heart attacks and now runs six miles every morning.
Buck says that his girlfriend Chasey Lain is now clean and sober and that he was fulfilling his obligation to talk to me about ragging on her.
Buck says his sister Amber Lynn is the classiest woman he's ever known.
It's a shame Buck never got to meet Mother Theresa.
Buck says he's shooting for Antigua Pictures, run by Todd Blatt with help from his newly-clean-and-sober brother John.
Friday night, Buck, David Sturman and I kibbitz. David is 53 but looks 43. Sturman has a weakness for characters, which is why he likes me and why he hired Buck to shoot many big-budget movies for Sin City. James DiGiorgio entered porn through editing Buck's Sin City movies.
* Fred writes me: "Just what do you do on these trips?"
Khunrum writes: "Evidently he stays in Ms's room and boom-boom's three times a day."
* Many readers believe that porn conventions are paradise. Well, you know what paradise is? It's a lie. A fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be. But you know what truth is? It's that little baby you're holding and it's that man you fought with this morning, the same one you're going to make love with tonight. That's truth, that's love
Dear Relationship Guru: So many of my friends are hooking up with and
marrying Asian women that I wonder what's going on here in California.
These are successful guys who make serious coin doing serious work (engineering,
medicine, law), and they could easily be dating the White woman if they
wanted to, but instead are marrying Asians. Is this anything that we should
be worrying about? Plato in Palo Alto
Well Plato, I'm of two minds on this. On the one hand, the libertarian
within me applauds all forms of race mixing, especially this one. On the
other hand, I know from experience that the increase in white male/Asian
female miscegenation is but a token of the moral decline of the white
woman in the west, which is not a good thing, given the numbers involved.
You see, many white men find themselves turning to Asian women because
the old virtues that we men continue to value are increasingly to be found
in the Asian woman, and decreasingly found in the women of our own race.
Asian women tend to be serious about life, loyal to their husbands in
all ways, interested in marriage and children and as devoted to raising
their kids right as our bubbies (Jewish grandmothers) used to be in generations
past. Plus, they are tasty, too, as they bathe without prompting from
us, and are as smooth as cake. Yellow Cake.
But the white woman? Where the Asian woman sees her vagina as the sacred
birth canal through which all human life begins its journey on earth,
all too often the MTV poisoned white woman has turned her vagina into
the anatomical equivalent of the "Love Canal" - a toxic waste dump of
sewage that a man dare not enter without galoshes and a full chemical
suit. Even when they deign to permit a man's semen to fuse with an egg
and decide against abortion, these women often make dubious mothers, drinking,
smoking, doing drugs and otherwise engaged in activities not conducive
to good mothering.
If you are a white woman, either you are one of the "good ones" and have
nothing to fear, or you are one of the increasing number of bad ones who
should be worried, but who likely who is oblivious to this. The truth
is that for you, the Asian woman is the Yellow Peril, the al Qeada of
the vaginal world who through her femininity and diligence is quietly
redirecting the best streams of semen away from your uterus. Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
I would only add to that that asian women are smaller. If one were to look at the common white woman (always speak in generalities) the average weight has increased over the decades. Some men just don't like large women and white, American women seem to getting larger. Asian women on the other hand, seem to stay the same size. I would be one of those men, since I prefer asian women. I'm only 5-8 and I want to be taller and weigh more than my girlfriend. That's harder to do when most of the white women you see these days seem to not fit into that, I suppose, stereotype. It all has to do with America's ballooning waistline.
Semper writes:
I was watching Judge Joe Brown today and was floored when I saw Tara Moon. The reason why I was taken back was I would have sworn that she was a girl I knew well named Margie Thompson. I mean the resemblance is uncanny.... I would swear it was her. Not only did she (Margie) go back and forth to France when I knew her, but she graduated Boston University (down the street from MIT) and she was the type of girl who I believe would have no problem with becoming a porn star. Also in your interview she said she became Tara Moon in August.... August 25th was my friends birthday. Coincidence?
Show Reports
Gia Jordan Day three Day One Mary Carey banned from the Venetian. Day One Photos AVN Post-Mortem Willie D On Saturday Willie D On Friday Den of CAVR reports. Kara Bear slits wrists. AVN Photos.
I arrive at the Casino Royale (next to the Venetian on the Strip) at 1:30pm. I get into my room at 1:50pm. I call my roommate on her call.
"When can I see you?" I ask.
"I don't know," she replies, and my spirits sink. "I've picked up my badge. I'm going to lunch with friends. Then we might hang out."
"So I'll see you when I see you," I say.
"OK."
I hit the show and pick up my press passes to the AVN Expo and Internext
as well as check my email in the press room.
I arrive back at my room before 5pm. A few minutes later, my roommate walks in. I give her an awkward hug. Though we've spoken on the phone a few times (since 2003) and exchanged a few emails, we've never met.
I crawl under my covers. She changes. She doesn't mind if I watch.
"I might as well tell you before David does," she confesses, "but I've been a Luke...groupie since 1998. I love your writing."
She gets into her bed. I wait a minute and then ask, "Would you like company?"
"What?" she said.
"Would you like company?"
She laughs. "I'll come into your bed."
She does. We cuddle for a few minutes. We undress.
I get up. "I'm just putting my clothes away and getting a piece of gum," I say from the foot of my bed.
Then I crawl back into her arms and deposit a condom under my pillow.
"I love how you give play-by-play," she laughs. Then she reaches under my pillow and pulls out my condom. "What's this?"
I shrug.
"I'm allergic to all condoms but superethylene. I brought some with me."
She goes to her bag and comes back with a couple of her special condoms. "I always bring them to tradeshows," she says, "but I never bring enough."
I turn off the light and we snuggle under the covers.
"I'm very conservative," I say.
"So conservative that you're willing to have sex with a stranger," she laughs.
"But I've known you over the years," I protest.
We get down to it.
"It makes me so horny the way you smirk while you have sex," she says.
Ten minutes later, I'm done. She was especially tight, in that ancient Confucian way.
For the first time in years, I feel big.
We cuddle.
"Should I pop a levitra?" I ask.
"Why? You don't seem to need it."
"Without levitra, I can make love to you again for five minutes. With levitra, I can make love to you for hours."
"Take the levitra."
I get out of bed and go to my bag and find my bottle of pills. I put them all together -- the lithium, vitamins, minerals, clonazepam, clonidine, levitra, Tylenol, Tylenol PM, gaunfacine, Tums.
I can't tell which pill is the levitra.
My roommate laughs hysterically. She gets her camera and takes pictures of my desperate search.
I finally find what I think is the right pill and I bite off half. It turns out to be Vitamin C.
I pour all my pills on the bed. I know I put just three or four levitras in my bottle. I find a pill with numbers of the back. I decide that must be the levitra. I swallow half-a-pill (when I returned to LA Sunday, I realized that this pill was lithium, which is no help growing a boner) and crawl back to bed.
For 20 minutes, I give it to her while she's on top. Then for 20-minutes, I give it to her while I'm on top. Then I collapse in a sweaty heat.
"I have an extra ticket to the AVN Awards," I say. "Would you like to come with me?"
"I'd love come," she says. "I've never been. That would be so much fun. Will I have to buy a new dress?"
A month ago, I asked a woman I was dating: "I've got an extra ticket to the AVN Awards. Would you like to come with me?"
She replied (and I'm working off my faulty memory): "I've already got a ticket. I'll be sitting at the...company table."
"Darling, I just asked you to be my date. Are you blowing me off?"
"I've got a lot of work to do that night. You're going to be running around all night interviewing people."
"Fine. I'll take Rob Spallone."
"Honey, of course I'll be your date. Are you mad at me?"
"No," I lied. "I guess you're just being practical."
Well, in comparing the two responses, it is good when you feel you can give something to a woman and it sucks when your woman makes you feel like you have nothing to give her.
A man wants a woman to inspire him. If he loves her, he wants to do wonderful things for her. He wants to go out and slay the dragon and protect her and care for her and take her to the AVN Awards. He doesn't want to taste other men on her lips.
At 9:40pm, we make the Digital Playground dinner which I later realize was called for 8:30pm.
I tell Gram Ponante I might need a ride home Sunday. He says that will be one of his questions for pornographers along with, 'Did you ever send a girl to blow an owner so you could get $200 off your rental rate?'"
"I'm not willing to give a man a blowjob or a handjob in exchange for a ride home," I emphasize to Gram.
"I know your limits," he replies. "I've read your profile on LA Direct."
Gram says I look like I've ridden 40 hard miles.
We hit the Circle Bar in the Venetian. At 11:30pm, I go to bed. Near 3am, my roommate returns and we make love again.
"I love how you ask, 'May we do doggie?'" she says, "instead of just moving me into it."
You may ask why I'm telling you all this. Telling you? I'm telling everybody.
We peak, collapse, and fall asleep.
I wake up at 8 a.m. We have sex for the fourth time in 15-hours. Then it it time to shower and hit the show floor. I am but a shell of my former self. People tell me I look happier than they've ever seen me. I wonder why?
Chaim writes: "You know, you have a real talent for getting attractive women to buy you stuff: meals, clothing, hotel rooms. That's as close to manwhoring as men can get, at least in the straight world. And for that, I salute you."
Khunrum writes:
Luke, this girl is successful. She's Asian, ie: smart. She's taking a nice chunk out of this multi-billion dollar business. She's a Luke groupie. You could do worse than to team up with her, become successful and start salting some bucks away for your declining years.
She obviously digs you Luke. She seems to be very intelligent. Being an Asian she is out to make as much money as possible. She has drive where you're sloth is legendary. She could be running the various Ford-Maya enterprises whilst you are resting in bed sipping rice milk. Together you could be the King and Queen of Porn. I urge you to see more of her. This could be the start of something big.
Luke, see what a sleazy business you are in. I suggest you marry Ms, make her see the error of her ways, you both give up porn, and retire to a bean sprout farm in British Columbia.
Chaim writes:
I read an article today in the New York Times about secular Jewess Heidi Fleiss (whose cousin I once dated) and her efforts to build a brothel in Nevada that straight women can go to for some hetero sex with men. She expects the going rate to be about $250/man hour (far below what women get, I believe). The article was quite skeptical in tone, quoting various experts who feel that the way women go about paying for sex is not conducive to a brothel. Apparently, women don't just pay a man for sex, rather, they buy him clothes, hotel rooms, meals in fine restaurants, and cover his travel expenses. That sort of thing. Now, who do we know who has managed to pull of this sort of manwhoring? That's right, our own Luke. Luke is the man. Yet another saleable book this boy could write and would write - IF he had a Chinese wife to prod him along.
Fred writes:
I was contemplating that the woman in question slept with Luke without having ever met him before. I speculate that in her mind she's met him through the website. This is sort of like people thinking they know a TV or movie actor because they have seen him/her on TV or in the movie.
Luke's website gives him exposure to lots of people. This is akin to meeting several hundred people and sifting out women who would sleep with him without actually having to spend the time dating lots of people.
Query: Luke, if you met this woman in a bar without her knowing you or you knowing her, do you think it would have gotten anywhere?
Do you think that by reading your website she actually got to know much about you personally?
Bob writes: "Oh, but the porn journalist blade cuts both ways. For every strumpet with a pay-site to pimp that Luke titilates there are a hundred respectable Jewesses that would be equally repulsed. Luke, I have advised you many, many times to fake your own death, adopt a new name. Do it while you are still young and marketable to wealthy matrons."
A bloke who was going to let me crash with him ends up across the hall from me at the Casino Royale. Eric Danville (managing editor of Penthouse) and Abby Ehman are on the fourth floor.
Friday. I leave the show at 4pm. I come back to my room and light two white candles. I have a drink. I get into bed and watch the candles. After they die, my Chinese roommate returns.
"I want you to be my daddy," she says. "I want to be your dirty little slut. Can you call me, 'Dirty little slut.'"
"Dirty little slut," I say without enthusiasm.
"Cool," she says. "That makes me so horny."
We've shagged about eight times by now and my back is starting to ache.
"I love your technique," she says. "You just shove it in. It makes me so horny."
We go to the Topbucks dinner.
"I want you to act like you're my dad," she says. "I want a recording of you calling me a 'dirty little slut.' Can you make me a wave file?"
I introduce her at dinner (even though they all her friends) as my illegitimate daughter who I conceived during a hit-and-run mission in Vietnam in 1975. That I had not wanted to acknowledge paternity until this weekend and we were having a heartfelt reunion.
After dinner, I head to the Circle Bar. I meet Ariana Jollee's mom, who says she's cool with her daughter the porn star. I hang out till 11:30pm. Various people greet me. A Swiss banker asks me what's going on. Who am I?. I say I'm a writer.
"A writer in porn? Isn't that absurd?"
"You don't know my work, man" I reply.
I circle the bar one last time and go to bed.
Saturday morning. I read Philip Roth's The Human Stain in the Venetian Shoppe.
Then I return to my room for the my first meal of the day -- a cinammon-raisin bagel with peanut butter and two apples.
Feeling lost and lonely, I put on my black cap and walk the strip in my blue jeans and black jacket hoping to find a member of my people. I have an ache that no goy can fill.
I see a man in a black suit wearing a black cap. I say two magical words to him and his wife.
They don't respond.
I'm used to being ignored.
I walk on to Caesar's Palace and sit beside the fountain and look into the sun.
The man approaches me. He says the two magic words of peaceful greeting. "I'm sorry," he adds. "I'm deaf in this ear. I want to invite you to join us for the third meal at room XXX at the XXX at 4:15pm."
"Thank you," I say.
I hang out near the entrance to the suites at the luxury hotel. Paul Fishbein walks by. Paul Cambria walks by. I don't feel like I can ask them for the favor of getting me into the suites. I let other pornographers pass.
I feel like a loser. Only the sheer force of will keeps me standing here hoping for salvation.
It comes from Steve and Adrian (out of Santa Fe) from last night's dinner. They approach me. They hook me up with a fellow webmaster who gets us into the suites. They're going to the NATS hospitality suite. I go to the suite filled with swaying men in black.
I'm the only person wearing blue jeans. I have The Human Stain tucked into the back of my pants, covered by my jacket.
We chant. We sing. We sway. We bow. We speak a foreign language. Then we wash our hands and eat the most luxurious third meal of my life.
Various goodies are pressed upon me. We hum ancient melodies and sing ancient songs.
A man across from me stares at me. He wears a black hat. He smiles at me. I greet him. He smiles more broadly. He must know my story.
We chant and mutter and sing as a group. We light a candle and extinguish it in a glass of wine.
I wish the man a good week.
"It's beautiful to see you here," he says.
There are some young dark-haired women. They greet me. With their refinement and character they are more beautiful to me than any porn star.
I mumble the correct phrase and beat it.
I walk past a young Orthodox couple. "Are you on crack?" asks the wife of her husband. "If you want sex tonight, you better come with me. You can't expect me to go there alone."
This group has been meeting at CES for over 20 years. In my six visits to Las Vegas at this time of year, I've always missed them. Instead, I've suffered the day on my own. Next year CES starts on a Monday and ends Thursday.
I do not spend one penny in Las Vegas. And not one penny going there nor coming back.
Sunday, Jan 8, 1am. My roommate says, "I want to go outside and you call me on my cell and order me as an escort."
"OK."
She walks outside. I call her.
"Hi, I wanted to order an escort."
"OK, we can do that. How did you hear about me?"
"From my friend David."
"Oh, David. He's a good guy."
"So what are your rates? How much for an hour?"
"One pop?"
"Yeah."
"Two hundred."
"OK. That sounds good. I've got cash."
"Where are you?"
"Room 214 [not actual room number] at the Casino Royale."
"OK. I'll be right there."
A minute later, there's a knock at the door. It's my roommate. I'm naked.
"You don't waste any time," she says.
I jump into bed.
"Do you want to get right down to it or would you like to talk first or a strip show or have a massage?"
"Let's just get down to it. Wait, I'll take a massage on my lower back. It hurts."
She massages my lower back. Then we get down to it until 2am. I get her off digitally.
"I still want your cock," she says.
"I'm exhausted, darling."
"Two am. This is it? This is the earliest I've gone to bed all week."
Then she falls asleep while I toss and turn.
Sunday, 9am. My roommate, standing in front of the mirror, says, "My lack of sleep is showing."
"How?"
"I have bags under my eyes. Why do you think I've been going around with my head up and my eyes half-closed? It's not just because I'm horny. People still tell me I'm beautiful.
"Did you accomplish everything you wanted?" she asks.
"Yeah."
"I mean at the convention."
"Yes. How about you?"
"I didn't see enough people and I didn't get laid enough."
"How often did you want to get laid?"
"I didn't mean by you."
"How many people did you want to lay you?"
"About four."
"Good luck today."
"I don't think I'll have enough time."
I walk into the parking lot at 9:30am and wait for my ride. I read my Philip Roth book, The Human Stain.
Professor Silk Coleman, 71, tells his 34-year old cleaning lady lover: "This is more than sex."
"No, it's not," she replies. "This is just what sex it is. All by itself. Don't f--- it up by pretending it's something else."
Goodbye Yellowbrick Road You can't keep me in your penthouse Duke Floored with Chinese chick who agreed to go along with gag that Duke nailed her, to make Holly jealous, but Duke overplayed hand by claiming to have done it 8 times in 15 hours Bye, bye, my little China girl
Tuesday night, a friend asks me, "How you been?"
"Just spent five days in Vegas, laid three times a day," I reply.
"You looked like you had toxic semen build-up on the brain," he notes. "Reminds me of what this Jamaican guy told me, 'Man, she f---ed me like she owed me money.'"