Sunday, March 12, 2006
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Luke Gets Mail
Max writes:
I just wanted to take 5 minutes to tell you how much I appreciate your blog. I also bought some Hustler in one of those bonus packs that had an article you wrote some time back recalling the time your mother and taylor met. It was funny and unflinchingly honest. There is so much dishonesty and it seems to be growing. I did a tour in afghanistan. My squad went out with the press. I had to lie my ass off which really bothered me. I also felt like it was some kabuki theater. The press knew we were lying, we knew they knew we were lying and we understood that no matter what we said it would be distorted to the reporters slant which is omission of the complete truth, another lie.
I also like the jewish perspective. In terms of spirituality, the closest thing to what I believe is in the tanakh [Hebrew Bible]. I have not converted yet. However, because there was the strong possibility that i could die in that s---hole, I made sure that my religious preference said jewish because I didn't want some christian saying things that I never believed about Jesus being G-d.
Before I left I wanted to talk to a rabbi. The reform temple in Indianapolis wouldn't have anything to do with me, even after I explained my situation ie I was going to war and I just needed to talk to someone whose religious perspective I respected. The rabbi was such a giving and caring man that he wouldn't give me 5 minutes. So much for his spirituality. Maybe he thinks all war is evil and only evil men fight. In Afghanistan a rabbi came and talked with me. He was orthodox and he was so cool. I was the only person on my firebase that would either claim jewishness or admit to it or whatever. But he took his time to fly there just to see me one additional time. That really boosted my morale. He also helped me mellow out because I have a lot of hate for the kind of people that do what the taliban has/is doing there.
Yes, most jews/rabbis discourage converts etc, but many are warm and you have to fight your way in. I think you are confusing some of my work with Scott Fayner's. He writes lukeford.com now as i sold it in August 2001. I have never written for Hustler. He has.
I thought it was one and the same. Like, Luke was the nom de guerre. Well, I guess there are two males that right excellently. The orthodox rabbis told me the only true Judaism is orthodox. I told another jewish friend that and he got angry at what the rabbi said. When the rabbi told me I didn't have to be Jewish to be right with G-d, I felt better and ready to do more combat. Now, I realize why Judaism doesn't make it easy to convert. Unlike christians that tell me I am going to burn in hell because jesus is not my Lord and savior, so they are always desperate to witness and wholesale salvation.
You got to work at it. Anything that is valuable, you have to work to acquire it.
Holly Randall - Facilitator Of Destruction?
Of course Holly is a facilitator of evil (everytime I see that word I think of overenthusiastic corporate luncheons on the theme of "team building"). So am I. People hire me to hurt each other, and it's frankly beyond my abilities to know with absolute certainty whether it's done righteously or if their "defense" is simply a way to rationalize their own heartless cruelty. Yet every morning, prior to destroying people, I pull on hundreds of dollars worth of clothing that contains the malnourished blood of tiny Malaysian children, and this probably bothers me a scintilla more than the person whose life, career, finances and/or reputation I'm about to ruin.
Holly, who I have difficulty believing would consciously bring harm to any living creature, sees things a different way. Personally it's a life I couldn't imagine, and I'm sure she feels sickened by how I just described mine. But upbringing, mores and so on really aren't at issue. Mother Theresa, the media embodiment of saintliness, left thousands to suffer in agony by beseeching them to pray rather than seek medical treatment which was available to them--and funded her little beacon of light in Calcutta with money from the Duvalier family. Show me a human saint and I'll show you a murderer. Looking at the world the other way is pleasant enough to do on December 25th and a few other days a year but you're sucking on a narcotic lolly if you do so the rest of the time.
Kaiser Sauze replies to Holly:
Holly, you do understand that the majority of people who are responding here, especially in your defense do so from an entirely different perspective than yours. I know that on the surface their words are a comfort to you, but really lets put some perspective on this. They consume. You create. It is easy to flippantly support something that exists only conceptually. Something that is viewed on film or computer screen displayed only at it's most marketable.
There is no attempt at shock value here, but they do not see the puss and lesions, cannot feel the bitterness and worthlessness that many of the "performers" express once they cut away from/are cast aside by the industry.
I never once used the term "evil". You are using that as the construct of your argument. I am not judging you. Or at least I do not in any way feel superior. I just see a simple truth - you make money from filming people do things that you would never do, let alone do for dissemination to the masses. You can dress this fact up in any way that you want. You (or those who have spoken for you) can say there is no gun to their heads and other overly dramatic, yet remarkably analogous statements. A gun made of metal and plastic, no, but a gun none the less (read food/shelter/money for their kids/drugs so that the itching in their brain goes away.) Or do you actually believe, beyond what people say, in the moment and out of necessity that this is what they would choose to do with their lives? That they would say the same 10 years later?
In response to your questions:
I am interested in moral dilemmas's, the human condition etc. Porn to me is a petri dish of such study. At this point I really only enjoy it as such.
I was raised in a liberal, non denominational environment. In short, this is not about god/your soul/my soul. I am not even entirely sure any of those things exist.
Now a question for you. If you ever do have a child, especially a daughter. Would you encourage her to become a performer? I am very interested in your answer.
Holly would never want her child to perform in porn (and I doubt she would want her kids working in porn behind the scenes, what kind of parent yearns for that?). Ninety nine percent of pornographers do not want their children performing in porn (or anyone they care about performing in porn).
I like Holly but I agree with every word that Kaiser Sauze wrote. I experience this as a battle between my values (with Kaiser) vs my feelings (with Holly).
I don't explicate on my beliefs on this with Holly or any porner because it would be pointless. Yes, the Bible says you should reprove people if they are doing wrong, but only if they will listen to you. "Reprove a wise man and he will love you. Don't reprove a fool for he will hate you." (Proverbs)
I would not want anyone I cared about performing in porn films, but for many years I have financially profited from their self-destruction (OK, there are some performers who appear to thrive from doing porn) through banner ads on my sites.
I hate to be mean but there is such a gargantuan difference in the quality of the writing between those defending Holly and Kaiser Sauze. One guy spells and punctuates correctly and writes clearly (showing he thinks clearly). I like Cassandra and Da Burglar and I don't want to lose their good will, but I would not want them defending me in such slipshod writing. Holly is a grammar and spelling snob. I adore that about her. I know she loves the defense of her, but she must be appalled at the abuse of the English language (DB, Cassandra, you know there's nothing personal in my point).
Bill Margold - Fringe Character?
Tara writes:
I saw that someone described Bill Margold as 'fringe' character in the porn industry. Nothing could be further from the truth. Bill is a very important figure in making the modern porn industry into what it is today. He cast most of the porn movies shot in the 70s and early 80s, as well as appeared in, and directed several of them. He also wrote several adult fims, including 'Caught From Behind', which has had several sequels that extend to this current day!
Unfortunately, this being the porn industry, Mr. Margold does not get a penny in royalties from people profiting off his original idea and concept. The switch from film to video caused a changing of the guard in the adult industry, where by idiots who wanted to pump out videos as cheaply and quickly as possible came to the forefront and artists who were meticulous about the product being sold were pushed to the back.
Mr. Margold has written for LA Xpress and sold advertising for them for umpteen years, as well as managed apartment buildings. PAW is an organization started after the death of early 90s porn star Savannah, who was one of Bill's kids. Every year, the organization holds the Bowling For Scholars charity event to raise money for adult performers who need financial help. Last year, Bill helped performer Brandi May who has five child by giving her $500.
Holly Randall - Facilitator Of Destruction?
Holly replies to Kaiser Sauze on XPT:
...You generalize that all adult performers are “desperate” and “stupid,” and you suggest that that I “don’t give them…credit as human beings”. These words give your argument a twinge of viciousness that makes me think no matter what I say, no matter how I respond, you will continue to reply in a manner that is both a tad nasty and judgmental. Perhaps I am wrong, and if you do really seek my opinion on this matter, you are welcome to contact me via email. But, if you are simply here to insult me on a public message board and try to push my buttons, I won’t play that game. I’ve seen too many “Gen Padova vs. whoever” rants to go that route.
Now, out of my own pure curiousity-- and you don't have to answer this of course, since I did not do much to answer your post-- what exactly is your position on adult? If you find it to be such a "facilitator of destruction" I wonder how you found yourself on this chatboard. If you find porn so objectionable, why aren't you out thinking about something else? Seriously, I'm not trying to attack you, I'm just wondering. Also curious as to what your upbringing was. Liberal, conservative? Religious?
I am curious how many models have come back to you with recriminations, in essence accusing you of facilitating the destruction of their lives. That's a point you could blog or post about. Maybe it is none. Jenna and Tera had their recriminations with your mom.
You could post about models from years ago who have gone to lead flourishing lives with no regrets about posing nude and doing porn, how porn enhanced their lives.
Must the Clock Start Ticking Already?
"So all in all, it was a great scene. She's such a good performer, now I remember why I liked her so much."
"Oh good! Did she do the anal?"
"Of course she did, mom. You know I wouldn't let them skimp on that."
"Oh good."
And then, the conversation turned to what would be to others, a normal one between mother and daughter.
Jim South Jr's Tough Times At Porn Star Karaoke
We talk Tuesday, March 7, before going to lunch.
Junior: "There are a lot of industry people there but there are a lot of non-industry people there. They probably go gaga over the girls. I look like an average Joe.
"The first time, I was with Holly Wellin (the love of Jim's life)."
Bill Margold: "She was last year's Heart-On girl [at the XRCO Awards]. This year's Heart-On girl [AVN's Heidi Pike-Joy] is highly suspect. We are going to ameliorate that by having another Heart-On girl with her. One of my early choices was Layla.
"I don't know why Dirty Bob went out and chose [Heidi]. Theoretically, that is my responsibility.
"Two years ago it was Pandora Dreams. I would probably have had Sunny Lane but she's nominated for starlet. We can't have that conflict of interest.
"I believe in the history of the business. There is no future if in the present we fail to pay homage to the past.
"It may fall into your lap once I'm gone to be the next historian. Sam Stetson is dead. Jim Holliday is dead. I'm the reigning historian now but you may be stuck with it. You've got to get it right, though. That first book had a few mistakes in it."
Jim Jr: "Holly and I had a couple of drinks [over a year ago]. We weren't getting along. We were exchanging angry looks and a little yelling back and forth.
"I go outside to smoke a cigarette and the bouncer grabs me by the arm and says, 'Someone in there says he saw you smacking her in the face.' What?
"We weren't getting along, but she came over and said, 'Absolutely not.'
"I was pissed. I go two car-lengths away to smoke. I hear these two drunks come by. One guy says, 'Unlike that faggot over there in the white t-shirt.'
"I look down. I'm wearing white on white. I go over and say, 'What is your problem? Do I know you?'
"He got all crazy and started taking his shirt off. Rusty Nails and a couple of other people were there. They came over and that subsided.
"That night didn't end up good.
"The second time I went there, I was hanging out with Erin Moore and some other people. My battery died on my car. I called AAA. I was sitting in the parking lot talking and these two drunk guys walk by my car and one of them pisses on the engine of my car.'
"I go up, 'What are you doing?' He says, 'No, man.' I said, 'That's it. Right there.' He says, 'I guess we've got to go right here in the parking lot with all the police.' I grab a tire iron out of the trunk. Then the police came by. That was the end of that.
"On the last one, I was there with Max Hardcore, Layla and a bunch of people, having a good time.
"Then, this guy who is the reason I'm single, Sean, who got together with Holly when I was with her, comes up to the table and starts trying to talk to me. I tell him twice to leave me alone. I go outside. He follows me. I start yelling at him.
"He said he had never f----- Holly. I said, 'Yeah, you were too f----- up on cocaine to get your dick up and that's why you didn't.'
"I purposely had brought a pair of spiked brass nuckles there because I've always had problems there."
Bill: "Are you sure you want this stuff on the internet?"
Luke: "Bill!"
Junior: "I don't care.
"I contemplated spending the night in jail that night. Max saw me stressing out. Max went over and grabbed the guy by the arm and told him to leave. That was it.
"The girlfriend of Sean came in to our office to register last week. She stayed with him until last week. She says that Holly was coming over at 3 a.m. and knocking on the guy's window.
"She's not going to work out."
Bill: "Why don't you ---- her?"
Junior: "She's way too much of a crackhead.
"She wants to go by the name Sean."
Junior showed up to PSK March 7 a few minutes after I left. He reports he had a good time.
Over lunch Tuesday, I ask Jim Sr if he'd like Hailey Young as his daughter-in-law.
"Yes," he says. "I'd like anyone to be a daughter-in-law so I can be a grandfather."
Jim says he could run any mental institution in the country.
Holly Wellin and her American husband seem to be quite the couple these days.
After their break-up, Holly would check in with Junior a couple of times a month to make sure he was OK.
"You wouldn't have to check on me if you hadn't acted like that," Junior replied.
In 1994, Bianca Trump leaned over Jim's desk and asked, "When can I do your son?"
"Ask him," replied Jim.
She asked him out during his first ten days on the job. At first Junior, 18, couldn't even make eye contact.
Bionca was Junior's first porn star. He loved the chicks with the big breasts and they had a passionate relationship for a few weeks.
Junior's favorite girl was Raylene, who's now married to Brad Hirsch.
Alexander DeVoe's girlfriend Sherry (she did some nude layouts but no porn) started up Diva Models and tried to take a few models off of Jim.
After lunch, Bill says: "The survival of Protecting Adult Welfare (PAW) depends on the survival of World Modeling. We're at the mercy of Jim's success. There's no reason to be here if it is no longer at the center of the porn universe."
Bill works at LA Xpress (1545 N. La Brea) Mondays and Friday taking advertising. "This is another version of recess in the same playground. I'm meeting some interesting people. A lot of the clients are transsexuals and try-sexuals. They're unique. The zoo comes to me.
"I can walk to work.
"Since June of last year, I've lost over 40 pounds and I'm on my way to 60 pounds. The loss of Jim Holliday and my cat... I can only lick my wounds so longer before they become raw gaping orifices. The cat died at the end of March. I took that harder than the death of Holliday. Pogo is pictured on the back of the LA Xpress every week laying on my belly smiling.
"It helps to make a little extra money. I am no longer involved with the Free Speech Coalition nor do I intend to be again. The last two years with Free Speech were like living with a barbed-wire umbilical cord around my neck. It was horribly painful, horribly demeaning. I'm not sure why I put myself through it.
"They're bringing in one worthless person after another.
"It all culminated with the way I was handled in Las Vegas. I was banned downstairs to my own PAW booth and allowed to come upstairs on the fourth day and run their own booth (and bring in $1600) because they didn't want anything to do with me. They were ashamed of me. I was accused when I got back of not being a hard worker, not being a team player."
Luke: "What's your relationship like with Michelle Ferreridge?"
Bill: "There is no relationship. I think Michelle will move on to fruitier fields.
"Of the multidinous platitudes on my tombstone, one of them will be, 'Censored by Free Speech.'"
Luke: "How did they censor you?"
Bill: "By eliminating me. By telling me that I was a threat to Free Speech. For over a decade, I was the heart, soul, brains and conscience of the Free Speech Coalition. I don't think they have any heart, soul, brains or conscience left. They're just going through the motions of waiting to be accepted to the real world. They'll wake up one morning and find out they are still all alone on the island of X. I was trying to fortify the island of X. They're allowing anybody to climb in there and do anything they want. They survived the first go-round because of 2257, which I believe was collusion between the government and major companies to get rid of smaller companies.
"Within the next year, Rob Black will be sacrificed so the Adult industry can survive.
"There are no more leaders left in this industry. People are interested in only one thing -- raking off the top soil and getting out before the dust blinds them.
"I've been in the industry for 34 years. Everything I've predicted has come true. The industry is its own worst enemy.
"Max Hardcore is his own worst enemy. He wants to be eliminated under duress. He's a true tragedy waiting to happen.
"Most of the time I had a good relationship with Max until he suddenly realized I was trying to clean the industry up from within and he doesn't want to be part of the trash thrown out. We've got to censor ourselves from within. It's commonsense censorship. We've got to get rid of stuff that offends society. Eventually society will retaliate against us.
"I've always referred to Heidi Pike-Johnson as a female Mark Kernes. I want to get a shot at Mark's grave when he dies so I can piss on it.
"I made the fatal mistake of giving Mark the Carnal Medal of Honor [about five years ago at the Legends of Erotica show in Las Vegas]. He had stood up to Bill Lyon and said performers had the right to do what they wanted at the golf course.
"Mark made the mistake of saying that Ray Pistol made me give him the award. Nobody makes me do anything.
"Mark made the mistake of lying to Cannibal one day that I go out of my way to hurt people. That was the end of him.
"When Mark was hanging around the Free Speech booth and I said I was going to run the booth, Mark made the fatal mistake of saying he was going to bite his tongue. Mark Kernes at your booth is like having a weather balloon at your booth. He brings nothing."
Tiffany Tiffany walks in. She's done seven movies in seven years around the industry. "I'm afraid of diseases," she explains.
Bill: "As long as you practice sane sex, you'll be OK."
Tiffany: "As long as it is with condoms, but I know there's not much work..."
Bill: "I'm not a fan of condoms."
Tiffany: "I know."
Bill: "Your genitalia are your tools of trade. Go to AIM, which I created... Didn't we hold hands the first time we were tested?"
Luke: "We tested the same day."
Tiffany: "I'd like to do webcam modeling. I love modeling.
"I own my own company. I do organizational consulting. I'm an executive recruiter for EMC (storage company).
"I was with a guy. The business is with him. It's in my name. He got me $200,000 in debt with the IRS. I'm swimming out of it and trying to get into this and trying to get away from him. He was supposed to be my sugar daddy. It turned out I was his sugar momma. He's 63. He took me for my money."
They've been together seven years. "We've had some good years," she says. "We'll see where it goes from here."
Tiffany's working five different jobs (webcam modeling, regular modeling, stripping, recruiting, porn) now. When she takes a break from stripping, she's on the phone recruiting.
Jim's favorite talent these days are three black girls, including Naomi Knox.
Bob writes: "I really don't get who this fringe character Bill Margold is. Does he really have any influence in porn today? Is PAW a real entity? Does it provide any services? How does he support himself? What is his deal?"
Jim South Junior has a friendly online stalker named Valley Girl. She's 35. An ex-porn girl who lives in San Francisco. She's just invited Junior to Hawaii for his birthday. "I can take you first-class," she writes.
Earlier she invited him to Las Vegas.
When he was sick, she flew down just to be with him for 90-minutes.
As a present, she once sent him a half-ounce of pot and some techie gifts.
Junior says he won't go. He won't tell me her stage name.
"She came down a long time ago with a friend. It was me and another male talent. We all went to a hotel room. I got with her friend.
"Fast forward seven years, she finds me on MySpace and she sees my birthday and she starts flipping out that she's not down here with me.
"I'll get a phone call from her and then four emails apologizing for the phone call and then a couple more emails apologizing for those emails.
"Then she called me over the weekend and asked if I wanted to go to Vegas tonight. I didn't answer."
I meet Sophia in Bill's PAW office. Sophia Sophia Sophia Sophia
Sophia met Bill a couple of years ago and he helped her with a paper for community college. She's one class from her AA degree.
Luke: "Then you'll have a degree in what?"
Sophia: "In whatever I want. I'm thinking about art."
Bill shows me a drawing. "She drew this," he says. "From VJ Day on Times Square.
"What degree do you have?"
Luke: "I have none. I dropped out. I was studying economics at UCLA."
Bill: "Why don't you go back to college to finish it?"
Luke: "Because that doesn't get me anywhere. All I want to do is write."
Bill talks to me about our shared Judaism.
Sophia is taken aback. "I'm Jewish but I'm not proud of it," she says.
Luke: "How do you feel about being Jewish?"
Sophia: "I feel like we are the most persecuted people on the planet."
Bill: "You are not proud to be persecuted."
Sophia: "No, I'm not."
Bill: "Why not?"
Sophia: "Because I am related to a bunch of victims."
Luke: "Have you been persecuted?"
Sophia: "I haven't. But my family, a lot of them died in Germany. So we don't talk about it. The Judaism is underground."
Luke: "Who died?"
Sophia: "Some uncles. My grandma's family, a lot of them were left over there.
"He wiped out almost all the Ashkenazi Jews."
Luke: "How did that affect you?"
Sophia: "It makes me who I am. It's not something we're proud of."
Sophia says she frightens away the college guys with her knowledge. One of the majors she wants to pursue is philosophy. She carries around a book published in 1854 - Lectures on the True, Beautiful and Good by M. V. Cousin.
Sophia danced at the FOXE Awards this year.
Luke: "Why do you work at the LA Xpress? Don't you make more money stripping?"
Sophia: "Yeah, but I like to be able to tell people that I have a legitimate job. It's more legitimate than stripping. I make the English correct in the ads. I've never seen so many sentences without commas."
Bill: "I only use commas when I breathe."
Bill tells Sophia and Tiffany that "teddy bears are the essence of truth, friendship, loyalty and honor."
Holly Randall: 'Just up, nubile newcummer Maya Hills takes on Derrick Pierce in her very first boy/girl scene!'
When I get these announcements from Holly, I fear I no longer trust their veracity.
My whole excitement is shot when I learn that somebody else has shot her girl first.
Still, as long as my Alexa ranking (12,853) beats Suze.net (13,101), I'm happy.
Holly responds: "I reprimanded those responsible for the Maya Hills claim. I was highly annoyed because of course it wasn't true -- she's just new and they weren't thinking."
Jane writes: "Can you suggest to Holly and co that they get a good company to manage their affiliate program? They are currently using DHD which is crappy company. DHD never fixed the incorrectly coded pages that I pointed out on another one of their programs. I suggest Suze.net get Adult.com to manage their affiliate program."
Adam Grayson, Maria Menendez Launch Two-Hour Show On Playboy's Sirius Channel
Monday nights from 9-11pm starting in two weeks. Maria will stay on at KSEXradio.com where Adam was a regular guest when she could not do any better.
Tuesday At World Modeling
Many agents (such as LA Direct and Gold Star) pay a $500 finders fee after the third job. World Modeling pays $125 after the first job.
"We've been getting 30 phone call a day from guys," says Jim South over the phone. "Many of the major companies [LFP, Adam & Eve] refer guys to us."
But neither World Modeling nor anyone else has a need for guys to do straight porn.
Jim says he walked in the other day and said a few words of French to a couple of porn girls. One turned to him and said, "So you speak Spanish?"
Jim tells somebody on the phone, "Send us some girls. We're dry."
One white girl (Cherokee?) says she doesn't work with black guys because her boyfriend is black and he gets jealous that he could lose her to another black guy.
I'm told that World Modeling had three good runs with Cherokee but she went off on them when she didn't get the scene partner she wanted. The staff at World believes Cherokee needs to leave porn before it leaves her.
A porn girls says she did not enjoy her visit to China. Why not? "Too many Chinese."
I meet Todd Driller and his wife Desire Moore. They're from Mississippi.
Jim: "They're a nice couple. You can have nice couples doing porn. She's very sweet."
Todd: "We may be a rarity in the business."
Jim: "You got that right."
Todd Driller Driller's girl Desire Moore Bill Margold Bill Margold Desire, Driller Desire, Driller Driller
They've been together four years in porn for two years (and she complains that no photographer has given her any pictures to use).
Todd: "She likes to portray me as a bad person."
Desire: "He likes to portray himself as a good person."
Bill Margold tells Todd he has a lousy porn name. "It's like Dave Pounder."
Jim South Senior and Junior are not happy with a male talent booker at Playboy who insists on calling them "honey" and "sweetie."
"It's the feminization of our industry," laments Bill.
"I hate that," says Senior. "But he's just that way. He doesn't mean to offend anybody. A nice guy."
I sit on Jim's couch and read Prisoner of X.
Bill Margold comes in. He's not a fan of Allan MacDonell. He skims through the book.
Under Christian Shapiro, Allan frequently skewered Margold and Jim Holliday. But in this book, Allan does not mention them.
Bill calls World Modeling "porn central. The last guard of the old days. The good ol' days are fading fast."
Chaim Amalek writes me: "I say you should marry Holly now, sort of as a starter marriage, to help you get the hang of living with a woman. I PREDICT you and Holly will marry soon, and be divorced within three years (she'll take the lead in both actions). You will sue Holly for child support, alimony, etc. and with that money, move into a nicer place of your own."
Red Light District Starting Its Own Talent Agency?
Run by Thomas Hope?
Kevin Ducati Vs. Kylee King
Hey Kylee, It's me again. Did you happen to catch that feedback on Gene Ross's site from that O'l Joe Laughlin from the formerly named AMA video? That super savvy web guy noticed that on your public domain record that it had been modified last month and went so far as to suggest I had changed the ownership of your domain from me back to you. I guess he was to busy sticking his nose in business that has absolutely nothing to do with him to make the toll free ten second call to register.com to verify that you have always owned your domain, just like I said. Don’t worry Kylee, since I had a little free time this week from a nasty flu, I made the call for him. Register.com was more than happy to email me and certify that you have always been the domain owner and no one else. I have included their response here along with their phone number so that you and anyone in the entire world can call in case someone thinks it is fake.
I sure hope that O'l Joe Laughlin didn’t knock out any teeth when he shoved his foot in his mouth. If you haven’t heard of this guy, he's the one who started this big ordeal about Jessica Dee not getting the content we shot. Don’t worry Kylee, she really did get her tapes. She just left it with me while she briefly went back to the Czech Republic to see her family. I would tell you the story now but it would just be a Joe said, I said situation and besides, if the real story got out it might ruin this shady scumbag thing I got going when the whole thing is put on him. Maybe someday Jessica will tell you the real story. My only regret is not having my camera out when the cops came and handcuffed him out in the middle of the street.
I am getting over this flu now so I won’t have time to be writing you again for awhile, but it's been a really fun week playing on the internet.
The Lost Tapes Of Mary Carey
I found my lost audio files from my Sunday lunch (3/5/06) at Jerry's Deli with Mary Carey.
Mary: "Sitting in first class [that day returning from North Carolina], I saw this guy drinking, so I wanted to drink too. Harold told the flight attendants not to serve me because I'm an alcoholic. I was bored because I had nobody to talk to. There's no fun, nothing. There were no interesting people."
"When I was fatter, flying was more comfortable. Now my butt hurts. I dread going to New Zealand."
Sometimes, like today, Mary flies first-class and Harold flies coach. He says he loves it because he gets a few hours without her yacking in his ear.
"I always meet strangers," says Mary, "and that ticks him off."
"I look down the aisle," says Harold, "and I see people passing a note all the way down the plane to me. It's from Mary."
She passes him several notes that way. "And I sent you some beers," she says.
"Half the flight anyway," he says, "she's standing above me in the aisle talking."
Mary: "Harold, you like it."
Harold: "Not really."
Mary: "You missed me a lot."
Luke: "Did it reinvigorate your sex life to have that break-up?"
Mary: "We always have a lot of sex. Most guys I'm with, after a week or so, I get bored with having sex."
Harold was born May 14, 1980 and Mary was born June 15, 1980.
Mary: "I could never escort. I'd kill myself. I don't think I could do it, waiting there in the hotel room for strangers.
"I've seen my friends when they start doing it a lot, how it mentally affects them. After a while, they don't have rational thinking. They drink to forget about it. You have to get drunk to do it and you have get drunk to forget about it."
Mary says the book of Revelation is "very scary. The seven trumpets. The world is ending. We're on the fifth trumpet right now. People who believe in End Time Christianity believe the world is ending in a dozen years. The Mark of the Beast.
"For the two weeks I was Christian, I'd study the Bible. When I do something, I'm an extremist. I really pay attention. I learned so much, I got scared. I watched six hours of videotapes about how the world is ending."
Luke: "How are you and [make-up artist] Red Velvet?"
Mary: "I haven't talked to her since I got my hair extensions. I hear she's really busy. She doesn't talk to Tawny either.
"I would go over to [Red Velvet's] house after going to the Bible study and she would say, 'No, Mary, the world is not ending.' She explained how you could take the trumpets and make [up stuff]. The third and fourth trumpet is about how Jews get their homeland again in Israel. Those people who are alive then will see the End Times. It would have to happen soon for those people to see it.
"China is the sixth trumpet. It is a war of millions of men. It's going to kill a third of the world. It's very depressing though they say you should not be scared if you are baptized. You should be happy the world is coming to an end.
"I got baptized in one day. I was doing the VH1 show. I showed up to the videotaping (for an audition for a reality show) and had a nervous breakdown. My roommate at this point was Christian. In walked my roommate and my roommate's friend with Bibles in their hand. Later that night, came the pastor and his wife. We talked for three hours.
"It was no fun being Christian.
"They thought Harold was a bad influence on me and they wanted him to leave me alone. I was more into it than him.
"I went to a store signing [in Portland] two days after I got baptized. The store owner was like, 'I'm flying my friends in and we want to party with you.' I said, 'I'm sorry. I don't do that. That's bad. You're a sinner. That's evil.'
"They thought I was kidding. I said, 'The world is ending. I don't drink.'
"I'm very extreme.
"They thought they were having this fun party girl coming in. I think I had some red wine. I was convinced that was ok because they drank red wine in the Bible. I was very not happy. Harold got mad at me.
"The church was convinced that Harold was bad, that he was after me for the wrong reasons. The church wanted me to go on TV and talk bad about porn and say I was Christian now.
"When I'm finally done with my career, I'm going to go out and become a Christian and condemn porn. I'll be great. I'll become a pastor or a rabbi. I'll get people really spirited. I'm not sure which religion to be. I've already planned that out down the line.
"Then I was thinking that the mainstream people who have a problem that I've done porn will have a problem with me whether I go against porn or not. I might as well not go against porn, and do what my lawyer said, and take advantage of what I've got right now. Go with Legend. They have more money.
"After about ten days, I think I got bored with Christianity."
Luke: "What did you do while you were a Christian?"
Mary: "We went to the gym a lot."
Luke: "Did you feature dance while you were a Christian?"
Mary: "I think I did the following week. How did I do it? I stopped thinking I was a Christian.
"I would never want to have my own company. I could never tell girls what to do. I don't want the responsibility."
"I scared the club owner [in North Carolina]. He said to me, 'You're a bit of a wild child. I'm not going to let you go to jail now.'
Prisoner of X: 20 Years in the Hole at Hustler Magazine By Allan MacDonell
On page 151, Allan recounts Larry Flynt telling him of his elaborate plan to marry a 12-year old Thai virgin.
On page 154, Allan's assistant Kristen asks him, "Why do celebrities keep dying after you jokers make fun of them?"
"Once an idea for a cruel joke presented itself," writes Allan, "no matter how abominable, we were powerless to resist carrying it out."
Allan writes on page 293:
Sometimes the best way to appreciate your growth as a human being is to witness the stunted emotionalism of people enduring predicaments similar to your own, and then compare yourself favorably. For example, contrast my relative comfort in the interrogative presence of Larry Flynt as opposed to the damp terror seeping from Hustler's resident porno expert, Mike Albo, in the same situation. Short, rotund, clad in suspendered gray gabardine and bow-tied dress shirt, Albo's dark, harried eyes hoisted matching sets of luggage behind golden, wire-rimmed spectacles. Overall, he achieved the troubled look of a 19-century pharmacist who has just been accused of dipping into his own stock.
I believe Albo (managing editor of AVN Online) and MacDonell are on friendly terms. Albo probably doesn't have a problem with this description of himself as it comes from someone he likes and respects.
On page 180, Allan writes about Suze Randall:
Randi Dench had spawned her ambitions during London's swinging '60s and had flirted and f---ed at the fringes of '70s celebrity. Her autobiography, long out of print, had named names and dimensions. Dench's blab-all tome had alienated her men's-sophisticate benefactors, and she'd been reduced to shooting for magazines lesser than Hustler. I complimented Randi on her test shots and warned her not to bug Eleanor about a perceived increase in bra size. Dench, mindful of her reputation for bawdy exuberance, had immediately accosted Eleanor in an open workplace and bellowed, "Come on, Eleanor baby, don't be bashful. Show us those new tits!" This act had been cited as proof that I had created a hostile, sexually harassing atmosphere.
I knew something about how Randi's attentions must have made Eleanor feel. About a year and a half earlier, we had all three scouted prospective models at a world series of exotic dancers in Toronto, Canada. Randi had been drinking heavily, in her defense, but I had not, and her continual groping of my crotch and struggling to unbuckle my trousers while in crowded coffee shops had caused me no small amount of awkward emotions, much to Eleanor's delight.
Allan composed a letter on behalf of Hustler cartoonist (Chester the Molester) Dwaine Tinsley who was convicted of sexually molesting his daughter. "What kind of deluded miscreant requests a character reference from the editor of Hustler magazine after having lost a sex crimes case?"
MacDonell assured nightstalker Richard Ramirez "that Hustler would be the only outlet on the planet that would present his story free of moralizing."
Regarding Hustler Feedback, Allan writes: "Aside from giving readers an opportunity to comment upon their favorite nude models, the "Feedback" forum also hosted an exchange of ideas among the Hustler community, something akin to the reasoned discourse essential to an informed democracy."
MacDonell wonders: "Are my brightest and sincerest efforts directed to a mass of toilet-fixated defectives?"
Jamie Lynn, Cassia Riley On MySpace
They both confess they are addicted to MySpace and spend hours on it. Jamie refuses to get a sidekick so she doesn't check her MySpace account when she's out and about. Cassia has a sidekick but never uses it except for when she's on the road.
They are friends with fellow Pets Charlie Laine and Martina Warren and Penthouse talent coordinator Stacey Valentine.
I'm just laying here with my 2 1/2lb chiuahua on my lap on a friday night its 10:46pm most people around my age, you know mid twenties are just getting ready to go out and party...but here is a real honest glimpse ito the real life of a centerfold...well at least this centerfold's life...I am actually just chillin here at home in my cozy chair in my bedroom watching 20/20 ...playing with my baby dog...I so much prefer to relax and share time with the people that mean the most to me that know the real true me. Than go out to that "place to be" with all those "people" Work is work. Home is home. I could go out and do the hollywood thing, hang around with those "people" I mean I am a "Penthouse Pet"...I should be out being seen, networking...but I am so much more content with all the real true things that I have real relationships, real love, real family.The thing about this business is that it changes you you meet people that do the same things you do and those people become your friends and I try to seperate the two but it always ends up blending together...So really its a question because I have alot of people tell me that Cassia is different than the girl they know before she became a centerfold...I live my life everyday so I cant see from the outside....I havent changed in a bad way just changed...hmmmm I mean in this business can you really separate it or does the Cassia from before morph into the centerfold Cassia?
Cassia blogs January 30, 2006:
If you leave a a message and clog up my inbox with stupid ass s---...I will block your ass..These are my top 6 annoying things people say on myspace...ghetto spelling and all....feel free to add some...I know I have tons more that I can't think of at the moment...
1. wuz up gurl, hit me back sometime lets chizzzzat...
2. dam grrrrl you fine...wanna f---?
3.what up lets hang sometime ...you party?
4. do you got a man...cause i'll be yo man
5. i wanna get to know ya gurl..pleazzze write back
6. wuz up..
Ok...first of all...I'm not chatting Second...nobodys f---ing me....PERIOD Third...we will NEVER hang out Fourth...f--- yes I have a man...if you checked out my page at all it would be very obvious...and no I will never leave him for you...TRUST ME...MY MAN CAN'T BE TOPPED! Fifth...NOBODY will ever get to know me on myspace...Period...if you want to know me and talk to me join my site otherwise I dont have time or the desire to site around and chit chat with muthaf---ers I don't know. Sixth...Like I really give a s--- to respond to that... I may be a bitch but I speak my mind...people just come on myspace and lose their f---ing brains...I don't really give a mad f--- what anyone thinks about me.
I guess the time has come again to clarify things for some of you that don't get it...
1. I DON'T do porn...I am a nude model...yes I get naked and get paid for it...but NO I don't have sex for money nor do I work with men...I NEVER WILL! I'm not whoring myself out here...I take pictures...get it! 2. NO...I was not molested as a child and it lead me to get naked for a living....I have a very close relationship with both of my parents who are still together by the way. I just lucked out with the goods to be able to make money with what I was born with...so sorry to the haters that don't get that! s---....I say take advantage of what you were born with...If showing my body can set me up for the rest of my life and you want to hate on that...I say f--- YOU if you don't like it! 3. I have a man....Nothing you can ever say will make me date, f---, or hang out with you...I have been in a long term reationship with someone I have known for almost 10 years...nothing and I MEAN NOTHING is going to shake that...I don't give a f--- who you are!
Joe Rock Interview
I talk to him Tuesday night at Porn Star Karaoke.
He's from Montreal. English is his second language. He's been in porn about a year (most of it in Vancouver). "I started with the BJs. I did about 50-70 scenes. You have to persevere. It's tough to break in."
Luke: "How has it affected your dating life?"
Joe: "I don't go out much."
Luke: "Do you like girls?"
Joe: "Oh yeah. That's why I'm here. I could date. I went out so much when I was younger. I'd get drunk and be with women and be crazy. Now I'm still wild but I don't just go out and party and drink.
"I don't have a family. I'm an only child. Everybody passed away."
His ambition is to have money to do what he wants such as travel.
Luke: "What are the worst things [to happen to you in porn]?"
Joe: "Some gossip that is unfounded. That is lies. People come back to it but it never happened. You can't stop people from talking. There's nothing I can do about it."
Delilah's ex-boyfriend wanted to fight Joe over that incident but they talked it through and became friendly.
That incident with Delilah and the gossip around it is the worst thing that has happened to Joe in porn.
Williams/South Comments
Polygon writes: "Funny that the two guys who crawl out of the woodwork to my comment are probably two of the most photographed individuals with newer girls always around them. Ric Williams at PSK, South always at events with some new hot girl!! Must be their charming personalities, wealth and good looks! Cause it would be ackward if it were sexual! Or maybe they are teaching these girls about how to succeed in the industry and stay away from anonymous commentors like me, whom they took obvious offense to!"
Holly Randall - Facilitator Of Destruction?
Holly, I'm sure you are a sweet gal and all, in some ways I think that makes you all the more objectionable. Your sweet veneer and your (parents) winding driveway into the hills hang like a sheen of normalcy over what you actually do.
There can be no doubt that you are a facilitator of destruction in the lives of those you photograph. (Just ask Simp/Luke.) An honorable person of your "position" and intelligence should be forced by conscience alone to refrain from taking advantage of the desperation/stupidity of others.
When you frolic in the fountains of Rome (funded by the profits of your exploitation) do you ever wonder if your "subjects" dreamed of visiting the very spot in which you stand? Or perhaps you do not give them enough credit as human beings and feel a natural separation between your place and theirs.
Like I said, I'm sure you are great to talk to in person and all, but your "act" makes me uncomfortable. The same kind of "uncomfortable" I experience when I imagine living in my parents house in my late 20's.
Holly writes me:
[Eve Mayfair] looks nothing like me -- you know this is the second black girl you've told me looked like me... What's up with that?
And I KNEW you were going to pick up on that post on XPT and not include DB's defense on my behalf. I think I'm going to let him speak for me from now on.
Kaiser Souze posts:
DA - off the hop, from what I know of you (which is reading on these boards) I like you. I really have to laugh though when you accuse a poster on something called xxxporntalk, in the monkey cage no less, of being obnoxious.
I want to try and keep this brief, which is tough based on the length of your post.
To be clear - I never called anyone "evil". And I am not splitting hairs. I am not disturbed by Holly's evil tendencies, I am disturbed by her hypocrisy. She garners financial reward from general debauchery without ever getting her hands dirty (yes, I know she lubes the dildo's.) The part that is especially disturbing is that this is not even a venture of her own creation -- her mother pulled her/propped her up in the biz!
I appreciate that in your defense of Holly you state that you agree with my premise. I return the favor in acknowledging yours. However...
In your particular case you are clearly defensive. This is understandable as you have a form of "relationship" with Holly. I think the bigger factor here though is that you, like her have crossed the line. You are now in the same boat in that you are profiting from acts committed by others that you would never yourselves partake in. Holly directly by capturing it for eternity and a "paycheque", and you by building a certain level of social interaction and notoriety.
DA, you are a smart man. Smarter than to blame the victim. Smarter that to take some circuitous route of logic that both condemns and exonerates you. Porn is what it is, and pornographers, no matter how many cocktail dresses they own are pornographers. These are the people that you should be describing as those that don't want the hassle of a regular job, enjoy getting drunk at 2:30 in the afternoon (btw, what the f--- is wrong with that) and boastfully profit from orgasms (the male version of anyway). I know you are smarter than to actually believe the bluster and bravado presented by 18 year old girls as they try and rationalize how and why they have ended up where they are.
Masuimi Max Does Her First Porn Shoot
She'll star in Octavio Arizala's Vivid movie Rebelle Rousers.
Here's an excerpt from an interview with Masiumi:
What is your view on nudity and pornography?
MM: My biggest pet peave is when people consider nudity as porn. All I have to say is porn involves sex and nudity doesn't. Get it straight!
Jane writes: "I'm not shocked the Masuimi Max is going hardcore.
She was at AVN this year and had lost weight. She seemed to really like
the attention she got and was very into it as you can see in this
video footage."
Penthouse Pets Jamie Lynn (POY 2006) And Cassia Riley (POY Runner-Up) Grace My Hovel With Eve Mayfair For LA Weekly Shoot
Cassia Riley (Luke's Jew of the Year for 2006) Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Cassia Riley Cassia Riley does not think much of The Jewish Week.com Cassia Riley Cassia Riley ponders joining the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance.org Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Cassia Cassia Cassia Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Cassia Riley, Jamie Lynn Cassia Riley, Jamie Lynn Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Cassia Riley, Jamie Lynn Cassia Riley, Jamie Lynn Cassia Riley, Jamie Lynn Cassia Riley, Jamie Lynn Eve Mayfair Eve Mayfair Eve Mayfair Eve Mayfair Eve Mayfair Eve Mayfair Eve Mayfair Cassia, Jamie, Eve Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Eve Mayfair Eve Mayfair Eve Mayfair Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie, Cassia, Eve Jamie, Cassia Jamie, Cassia Jamie, Cassia Jamie, Cassia, Eve Jamie, Cassia, Kevin, Eve Jamie, Cassia Cassia Riley, Eve Mayfair Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Cassia Riley Cassia Eve Mayfair Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie Lynn Jamie, Cassia Jamie, Cassia Jamie, Cassia Cassia Jamie Lynn, Cassia Riley Eve Mayfair, Jamie Lynn, Cassia Riley Eve, Jamie, Cassia Eve, Jamie, Cassia Eve, Jamie, Cassia Eve, Jamie, Cassia
A Modern Orthodox journalist writes: "Now, be honest -- wouldn't [Cassia Riley] look so much better in a helmet-shaped wig and grungy ankle-length blue-jean skirt that looks like it hasn't seen the inside of a washing machine since around the time Monica first inhaled Bill's cigar? Luke, why do so many Orthodox young women look so unkempt and, well, smelly? I attended an Orthodox Feminist convention a few years ago and a good number of the attendees were almost defiantly ugly. And many of those who weren't pug ugly were about the most unfeminine creatures ever created (presumably) without penises. Is the word "frum" a derivative of "frumpy"?"
Women in business suits are my thing.
"Well, women in business suits are about the only women who still wear pantyhose, and there's nothing that makes a pair of legs look both elegant and feminine at the same time. It's amazing how quickly these trends take hold -- as recently as, say, 2000, nylons were still considered an essential in every woman's wardrobe. Almost overnight it changed. I've been at weddings where the girls were almost all bare-legged, and some even wore flip-flops. Nothing says "do me" like pasty-white legs and rubber shoes hinting of toe cheese and flaking heels."
Chaim Amalek writes:
ON THE ONE HAND: If you go into Borrough Park in Brooklyn, you see tons of young jewish mothers who are fit, trim, and pushing kids around in baby carriages. ON THE OTHER HAND: Feminists, be they Jewish or other, are almost by definition harridans who have been rejected by the society of men "Orthodox Feminist" sounds vomitous Fat, blubbery, rubbery, Craigslist and JDate rejects. "DO I CHALLENGE YOU? DO YOU FEAR ME, JEWISH MAN?"
I really like this black chick. By which I mean that I really like staring at her face and what not.
> She's sweet, smart, good grammar, and in love with another man.
Yeah, she should breed. Tell her I urge her to breed.
Well, if she told you that, why would you think you are going to be getting any of that?
> Triumph of hope. David Ben Gurion said that if you don't believe in miracles, you're not being realistic.
Stick to crank skanks. Any comments from these chicks on your estate? These are really hot pics. Taps into primordeal male fantasy of super hot babe sitting on the floor of a regular joe's hovel.
I got outrageous pics for the photographer of me in a black suit, white shirt, tie, yarmulke, pouring over sacred text while these three girls paw at me, pull my tie, kipa etc...sit on my lap. But my concentration on my studies did not waver as I once again turned my back on worldly pleasures to ponder the eternal verities.
Not once did any of these beautiful women (nor the photographer) make any negative comments about my hovel -- which is more than I can say for two-thirds of the dates I've brought over, some have insisted on turning around and leaving as soon as possible. Others who stayed would complain that they always left with bruises (not having a bed and all that).
The last time I had a woman this beautiful at my hovel was when Holly made a rare appearance just prior to the New Sensations party. We made out on the floor like squirrels on crack while my favorite Air Supply CD played in the background. Holly had never tasted such wild ecstasy. She couldn't get enough (for about three songs anyway).
I had to walk the girls (Jamie Lynn, Penthouse Pet of the Year, Cassia Riley POY runner-up, and Eve Mayfair) wearing lingerie past my landlady and then down to Pico Blvd Thursday morning. Cars were honking, stopping, people pouring out of stores and gaping and whistling and making comments and wanting to be in the picture. I have not experienced such horror since the evening Holly told me I was not her first lover.
It was a great time. I added a black porn star friend of mine, Eve Mayfair, for ethnic balance.
Jamie and Cassia say Holly must've taken some great photos of me. Actually, no, I don't think she's taken any photos of me. She must fear I'd crack her camera. Our time together was spent on scholarly pursuits.
A cynical worldly person emails me:
Yeah I’d like to see Eve, if she’s young, fresh and fine maybe she’s Pet material.
Oh please since when do you care about ethnic balance, are you getting a BJ out of this, you can tell me the truth. Jewish boys do LOVE the dark meat, they love black booty.
Those of us in the observant community do not touch women outside of marriage.
"The girls were great. Very professional. They brought plenty of clothes, their make-up was great (they even touched up Luke a bit), and they shot incredibly well. A great experience."
"Yeah sometimes a little mascara really brings out the intensity of Luke’s eyes, I’m glad the girls could be of assistance!
"Funny because Jewish men seem to really, really, really love JBs even more than the average man. And by the way, none of my girls are flakey no shows, this is Penthouse Magazine and we’re quality people of our word. You’re so used to all the skanks who are up all night doing crank and don’t make it anywhere. I bet my girls were on time and everything [15-minutes early!]. Just so you know for the future my word is SOLID.
"You’re a pretty good man Mr. Ford even though you’re Australian. I can say that you’re the only Australian person I’ve ever been fond of and befriended. But if you were a blood jew, you’d be all into the sistas."
Chaim writes: "What are all those pill bottles by your tv?"
Those are my medications. It's not easy to turn out a column like this without pharmacological help (in addition to natural remedies). The yellow boxes by the microwave are Dr. Natura's colon cleanser.
Chaim writes: "If you post that those are your HIV meds, you will be believed. Yeah, this is sort of what I had in mind, but with her looking at the book like she's reading it."
I like the Pets equally. Jamie is sweeter and more goyisha, Cassia is more profane and Jewish. I had to keep asking her to watch her language. She was yelling out the f-word and I feared my landlady or neighbors would hear and there would go my reputation.
"OMG I know what a potty mouth! I’m going to buy her a surprise over the weekend, a tee shirt that says “f--- you, you f---ing f---.” If you go on her my space is all giving the middle finger. That’s her signature posed, the middle finger, while Jamie’s is the eyebrow arch. I love them both equally though. And they truly love each other too."
Jamie’s wilder in the bedroom than Cassia, it's all talk with her, Jamie’s really the dominant.
The photographer and the girls wanted some music so I played my AOL favorites -- a mix of Debbie Gibson, John Denver and Christian hymns -- while the girls gyrated around me. They were a good sport. They made no criticisms. They saw the good in my poverty.
Pete writes: "Luke, The girls dressed up your hovel very nicely. Cassia is mind-boggling and I find the profane side of her charming. One thing is puzzling me...like Cougar in Top Gun, I've lost the edge. Of all of the photos, my favorite is this one. You're on fire, young man."
I spend 30 minutes cleaning up my hovel.
Photographer Kevin Scanlon (he shoots a lot for the Jewish Journal) shows up 25-minutes early, which is cool. He's a slight friendly chap. He looks around my hovel. So many possibilities. We bring in his lighting equipment.
The Penthouse Pets arrive at 9:45 am. I sneak them past my landlady. Cassia's sweats ride down her butt. Jamie's finishing off a cigarette.
They dump their bags of lingerie by my bookshelves and stuff themselves into my tiny bathroom and put on make-up. These girls are troopers. They make no complaints about their appalling working conditions. Really, Mexicans fresh out of the Rio Grande live better than I do. They work harder though.
I'm nervous, jumpy, in my black undertake suit.
Eve arrives at 10 am.
I email Lainie Speiser at Penthouse for permission to take a few pics of my own.
I arrange my four books on my shelf.
I'm relieved that the three girls get along. Jamie refers to Cassia as her wife.
Cassia's had two weeks off.
In the Valley, they live near each and Martina Warren and Charlie Lane.
I wish I had my taperecorder on to capture the chitchat but that might inhibit my models.
One complains (I better not say who, she told me not to publish this) repeatedly about cellulite that neither I nor the photographer can detect.
Kevin assures the girl that no photo will leave his computer unless it shows them at their best.
I've never made that assurance to anyone but Holly "everything's fair game but my cooking" Randall, and she doesn't believe me and insists on immediately deleting from my camera all photos of herself that she doesn't like. I like her straightforward vanity. It's better than when people pretend and manipulate.
I like using my relationship (or ex-relationship with Holly) to establish rapport with models. It helps for models to see me as a human being who's been able to establish a genuine friendship within the industry and doesn't just use every human encounter (only 99.9% of them) as fodder for his column.
People are not fodder. When will I internalize that value?
Cassia and Jamie are a riot. They love each other. They raise hell together. Cassia has a booming voice. I have to shush her. What will the neighbors think?
Eve is demure. Her emails are superb. Everything is spelled and punctuated correctly, so rare in a porn chick. She worked in offices in San Francisco for four years prior to entering Adult.
She's in love with a white guy. Most of her boys have been white. She likes to be a white boy's first black girl.
JaneAusten: Are you going to post about what grat work Cassia, Jamie,
and Eve did on PornStarPerformance.com?
JaneAusten: I can't believe you played such crappy music JaneAusten: for
a photo shoot
JaneAusten: don't you have any dance music cds?
Luke: i am exhausted
JaneAusten: What have you been doing?
Luke: not sleeping
JaneAusten: Did Holly keep you up last night?
Luke: no sex for a week
Luke: no we broke up
JaneAusten: Is it your chronic fatigue?
JaneAusten: I wouldn't notice that you broke up since you keep writing
about her every day
JaneAusten: It makes you look obsessed.
Luke: I am obsessed. I am a fool for muff, I mean love.
JaneAusten: how are things with Suze Video? Are they making you rich?
Luke: i get about $150 or so every two weeks
JaneAusten: wow, holly is really looking after you, are you going to invest
in a bed with your earnings?
Luke: A teeth cleaning. No bed. Yes, she spoils me. I don't deserve her.
Luckily for her, I don't have her.
For the first outfit, the girls wear bikinis (and I think high heels). We pose in the confined space between my desk and the my bookshelves. In the second outfit, the girls get into lingerie. For the third outfit, more lingerie.
I gingerly lead them past my landlady and into Jamie's car. We drive down to Pico Blvd. I look around to make sure I don't see anyone I know. Then we jump out of the car and Kevin starts snapping.
Immediately a friend of mine walks up. I say a quick hello.
Kevin snaps. Old men ask to be in the picture. People pour out of stores and offices and stare. We walk down Pico 100 yards as Kevin snaps. Eve's in front. Cassia and Jamie walk while draped over me. I stare off into the distance looking cold, morally troubled, even hostile.
Jamie's nervous. She's left her keys and purse in the car.
It's excruciating. I keep fearing that I will run into somebody I respect. Oh, how low I've sunk for publicity. The things I'll do to get people to buy my books and investigate my weighty ideas. Did Alexander Hamilton have to undergo anything like this? Louis Jacobs?
Kevin says we can turn around and we rush back to the car. Thank God I don't see anyone else I know.
Kelly Allen writes: "A Penthouse Pet, Jamie Lynn, smoking. That's something you'll never see with a Playboy model, especially in photo ops. Even the Playboy Channel, has a "no smoking" policy re its original programming."