Sunday, February 26, 2006
Email Luke Archives Photos Stars Essays Search Luke Is Back.com Advertise on Lukeisback Suze Randall Suze Video Feb 23 Kay Parker painting by Denise LaFrance John Holmes Painting
MyAdultGroups writes:
Porn stars are no different than other women. If you are kind, respectful, treat them like a lady, you may get them interested enough to go out with you. But, you shouldn't date a girl, just because 'she's a porn star'. It sounds like you are expecting a porn star to somehow be 'different'. I live in LA, frequently photograph different adult events and see guys like that all the time. Trust me, they are easily identifiable and not very liked.
This is just mocking us Europeans who never even get the chance to see any of the stars. They never come visit us. Why is that? How come they don't do promotional tours over here, shaking hands and giving autographs? They're just as famous in Europe, and they have plenty of fans. We'd just love to have them drop by.
By Cindi Loftus Courtesy of Xcitement.com:
I’ve had the privilege of knowing Briana Banks even before she WAS Briana Banks. And I fell in love with her during the very first interview we ever did in 2000. She was so green and innocent back then, and we ended up talking for over an hour about everything. I think I finally had to sneak some porn questions in there. Then she become Briana Banks and did some movies for Legend and JM Productions. She was quickly picked up as a Vivid contract girl in 2001. With her runway model beauty and those long, perfect legs, and of course huge bust she was the perfect choice as the newest Vivid girl.
She’s funny, she can act, she’s gorgeous, and she is still after six years in the porn world genuinely nice to everyone; fans, performers and reporters alike.
X: So do you want to talk about your boyfriend officially?
B: Yes. My boyfriend’s name is Jeffery. He lives in Pittsburg.
X: That’s why you are there right now.
B: Yeah. I came here early for Valentines Day so we could spend it together. And then I am booked out here at a club. It is nice to actually go do my dancing and then come home and go to bed and not go to a hotel.
X: How long have you been going out?
B: For eight months now.
X: Is he in the industry?
B: No he is not in the industry. I finally got someone that is not in the industry. I’ve learned from my mistakes. No more industry guys.
X: That’s good, but sometimes it is really hard to find a civilian that is willing to put up with it.
B: I am lucky. He is very behind me. He’s not one of those guys who tells me I can’t do certain things. He is very supportive.
X: What does he do?
B: He does finance and real estate stuff. He’s actually my own age. I decided that the older men were not working out for me. You know me; I always go for the older guy, and then for some reason end up taking care of them.
X: And then end up bossing you around too much.
B: Yeah, they end up bossing me and doing other stuff and are complete losers, all the ones that I pick.
X: So now, you’ve got a nice guy, who is your own age and you can be equals and he makes his own money, and you can have discussions.
B: We are working on the discussion thing. Because it is all new to me. My past relationships were pretty crazy and off the wall.
X: You had some yucky guys.
B: (Laughs) Yeah, I did have some yucky guys. I’m learning how to do the whole communicating thing and it is weird dating someone that is not in the business. We just don’t discuss my work. I just do my job and he knows that it is just a job. I come home, run my ass through the car wash and everything. Then I get hugs.
X: What do you think of all these tranny movies that regular A list girls are doing? Like Cindy Crawford, Belladonna I don’t have anything against that, but without condoms it just seems so dangerous.
B: I think it is extremely dangerous. I know that amateur porn people do it. But I am surprised a Jill Kelly girl will do tranny movies. The fact that they are doing them non-condom is like a huge risk for their health.
X: And a huge risk for everybody else. If you test and you are fine, then you do a tranny movie, then the next day you do a regular movie, your test is still good, even though the tranny movie was yesterday. Maybe I am missing something. But it seems like this is endangering all porn performers.
B: I believe in condoms 100%. I have been wearing condoms ever since I signed with Vivid. But you might work with people that don’t wear condoms, so it puts everybody at risk.
X: I agree with you. Then you can do just about what ever you want and have a low risk. How do you feel about Vivid policy changing to Condoms optional?
B: I’m not going to change MY policy. I don’t care if they offer me more money. I am not going to do non-condom. One, because I believe in condoms, I don’t want to die of AIDS. And second I have a boyfriend who I am very much in love with, and I don’t want to have to use condoms with my boyfriend because I am not using them at work. Vivid said it was optional so I am taking my option to use the condoms. My health is important to me.
X: So what are you doing for fun with Jeffery in the real world? No porn parties?
B: He went to AEE with me for moral support. We got a little place out here together. I still have my place in LA. I do the back and forth thing. We have fun no matter what we are doing. Just going out to dinner. We bought a flat screen to go over the fireplace. We like to lay on the couch and watch TV. My sister is out here with me right now. She is my new roadie.
X: I know I just talked to her, she sounds exactly like you.
B: I think I sound raspier. But she’s here and we are going to go inter-tubing in the next couple days because of the snow. We might go snow boarding. Do some fun stuff. She doesn’t come out here much so we’ll go look for some fun stuff to do around here. It’s cold though.
X: So I have to ask you about that. Are you being a good girl?
B: Yes, I am. I am still clean. It felt good to do that interview with you because there were so many rumors going around about me. Most of them are true. So now if people talk about me, I admitted everything. So now it’s not like you are telling anyone anything that everyone doesn’t already know. It is going on two years now. I’m very very proud of myself. I have a couple of beers now and then, but besides that nothing. If I knew how good I was going to feel this good two years ago, I would have quit along time ago.
X: And your life has gotten better. You have good Karma!
B: It’s crazy how drugs just take over your life and you don’t even see it. I see all these little girls getting into the business and they are dating the wrong people, doing the drug scene and ya just want to pull them aside and say this is the road you are going down. I’ve been down it. Most of them get chewed up and spit out.
X: But you pulled yourself out of it, and most people don’t.
B: Well I was lucky. I had a great company behind me that didn’t give up on me. Plenty of times I thought I was getting the boot. But they stood behind me and that’s why I quit it. I had support from Jenna, Marci, Steven, Jay, they always had my back.
X: And your wonderful sister.
B: Of course my sister has never ever left no matter how bad it got.
X: She said she loves being your roadie because she can watch you and she doesn’t have to worry about you.
B: Exactly. She’s great. And she doesn’t put up with anyone’s BS either. X: I like that about her. She’s very protective of you.
X: You know I have seen [Chi Chi LaRue] direct and he is in the other room with the monitor and it sounds like he is jerking off. He is yelling, oh yeah, oh yeah, lift that leg baby, show me that beautiful pussy, let me see that big dick and on and on. He gets all out of breath.
B: The first time I worked for him it was hard because he yells but you are not supposed to look at him. You have to just listen to what he is saying and do it without acknowledging him. And he has to leave the room for all the softcore stuff so they can get some actual noise so that it is not all music playing in the movie.
X: To cover up his yelling.
B: When you watch Stunner, a lot of it is music. For a few seconds you can actually hear the action.
X: What is you favorite scene that you have done lately?
B: That would be in “Time for Briana” with Erik Everhard. I haven’t worked with him in a really long time, and it’s a hot scene. We do it in the studio but it is done all up like the army. I am wearing an army outfit with a wife beater. Erik is just picking me up and throwing me around. We were going on forever. That is probably going to be one of my best scenes of all time. I have a big ten day movie starting next week with PT (Director Paul Thomas). I asked if I could get a big budget movie. Maybe I would win an award. And the movie they gave me is mocking the AVN awards.
X: Oh no!
B: It’s a comedy making fun of how AVN cares about the acting and all that. I was a little bit upset, because I wanted a shot at an award.
X: Oh, but you might, you might because they have a sense of humor and if it is done right there might be a lot of noms for that movie. I can’t wait to see that. I bet that will be really good. Are you on myspace.com?
B: No. There are actually a million people on there that say they are me. My sister went on there and easily found 10 people using my name.
X: And your picture! I looked you up and noticed that there were several of “you”. (Laughs) If you want to start a real account, let me know if you need help. Tera and Jenna have one and a ton of industry people have one. It’s a good way to talk to your fans.
B: I love my fans so much. I always tell them if it wasn’t for my fans there would be no me. They have seen me when I was super skinny, They’ve seen me when I got a little pudgy for a while. They have seen me in all my cycles and they still stick by me.
X: You are lucky to have loyal fans. Do you have a lot of friends in the industry?
B: It’s hard because some people do things I don’t want to be around. The friends I had from high school don’t treat me the same. It gets lonely.
X: It’s good to have your sister around. And it’s good that you have a boyfriend out of the industry because you can make friends with his friends. And there are some really good porn couples out there, who are “normal”. I like Felicia Fox and Tim, Gauge and Jason and Wankus and Tyler (Faith).
X: What’s quirky about you? Something that people wouldn’t expect about you.
B: Uhm. There are a lot of things. I’m just weird. I have the habit of smelling my boyfriend’s armpits. I love the smell of musky armpits.
X: Do you look that much different without makeup?
B: No. I get recognized all the time. I think makeup makes me look older. I am a complete tomboy. I always wear baggy clothes, I’m not into the whole Prada thing. I dress like a bum. I put my hair in a ponytail. I’m lazy. I watch TV.
X: I love Australian accents, and Jamaican accents. Luke has a hot accent.
B: Ya know I don’t even look on the gossip columns anymore because I don’t care what people write about me.
X: Well I read all of them everyday and nobody has said anything bad about you in a long time. There is nothing for them to say. You turned your live around.
B: I’m learning from my mistakes. I still make them. But I keep on going.
X: I read somewhere on the web, and I wish I knew who said it about you, but they said Briana fucks like a Goddess. Now that’s a compliment.
B: Yes it is. Because I use my eyes. When I do my scenes I just don’t go through the motions I have to have eye contact I think that is very important and I think that is what sets me apart from a lot of the other girls, they are just going through the motions. The uhhhs and the ahhhs. They don’t look into the eyes of the person that they are working with.
Peon from CindisNakedTruth writes:
JM Production's contract girl Ashley Blue, had a very rough childhood, that may be the reason she is a bit rough around the edges. She enjoys handing out a variety of tortures and verbal assaults to the chicks she dominates in her series "Girlvert." She also often stars in "The Violation of..." series. Ashley is also a little sarcastic, and sometimes you don't know if she is serious or just joking, (okay she is a lot sarcastic). But Ashley's best characteristic is that she is funny as hell. She did a live chat a few nights ago on XXXPornTalk.com (a very addictive web site) The other chatters talked so much and asked so many questions that she hardly got to answer. And when she did answer, you often couldn't tell which of the last ten questions she was answering. It was a bedlam in there! So what I did was copy (WITH PERMISSION) Ashley's answers and my assistant, Peon, wrote new questions. So Ashley's answers are totally true and she said them. BUT the questions Peon "asked her" are totally MADE up and not the questions she was really asked. So let's call this a Peon parody in sarcasm and laughter starring Ashley Blue....
Peon> What is the most fun thing you have done lately?
Ashley: Don Fernando couldn't get hard yesterday for a Girlvert scene so I smacked him in the face with a dildo!
Peon>How do you feel after you have done one of those bukkake movies?
Ashley: I feel like I have throat gonorrhea.
Peon> I know you have won a lot of awards, which is your all time favorite?
Ashley: I am on the cover of Swirlies 2. That is my highest honor so far.
Peon> Isn't that where the stick your head in the toilet? Never mind. Say you've been out partying with a bunch of friends, what do you like to do afterwards? Like after the Drag Queen show,me and my friends go to Denny's
Ashley: I like to come home and vomit
Peon>Do you have like, an unfulfilled fantasy that you can't wait to do on film?
Ashley: I can't wait for scat movies. Legalize It
Peon> Do you have a boyfriend or significant other?
Ashley: I like this new male talent named Donny Long. I can't date him because he isn't homo enough for me. But he has a big, fat dick
Peon> Who do you think is the most intelligent mainstream actor out there, maybe someone that should run for public office?
Ashley: Britney Spears rules!
Peon> Do you ever think of getting a regular job?
Ashley: I like performing. I don't think about when I won't anymore. I used to think that I would quit if I got fat, but even being a porker didn't stop me
Peon>What is the best thing about your contract with JM?
Ashley: I love my car. Lot's of black men pay attention to me in it
Wankus Supports Racial Profiling
People got all huffy about this topic after 9-11, comparing it to the Japanese camps the US set up back in World War II, profiling anyone Japanese and holding them until they were proven safe. Yeah...I didn't have a problem with that either. Hey, I'm not racist, I'm friends with Mika Tan, but think about it. There was a clear visual enemy back then that fit a specific profile. Sorry for the inconvenience, but your home country of origin just bombed a bunch of our boys in Hawaii and we need to make sure it doesn't happen anywhere else.
Mary Carey: 'I've Never Been Really In Love Before'
I call her Friday afternoon. She's in tears over her break-up with Harold.
Mary: "I've got to figure out what to do. Kendra [Jade] says she's willing to be there for me if... She'll come over and make sure he packs up if we break up. At the same time, I love him so much. I've never been heartbroken before. I've never been really in love.
"That's what causes our fights. When you love someone so much, there's so much passion, it causes more fights. I've never opened my heart up and loved someone other than my family.
"I uncovered more lies last night, another girl who he had talked to behind my back.
"But then I find out that I've done a lot of things that hurt him. I have no right to get mad at him.
"If he left, I'd feel alone and I'd feel sad. We had the best sex ever.
"If I stay with him, we're just going to keep having fights. I don't know if it will ever get better.
"If I had never done porn and we'd met and had a normal relationship, it probably would've worked. But the porn thing is not going to work.
"If we're in stripclubs all the time, of course he's going to talk to other girls.
"He says that if we're going to stay in the porn business, he has to talk to strippers and recruit girls and start a company. I don't want a guy who does that. But if I stay in porn, then that's what they're around. I can't get mad at them for what they do around it.
"Why is it hard for me to turn my back on porn?"
Luke: "Because you like the attention."
Mary: "That's exactly what it is. I like the attention. I love the spotlight. Is it worth giving up true love?"
Mary sobs. "I don't know what to do, Luke.
"I feel like if I stay in porn, I could have a good career. But a career in what?"
Luke: "A career in f-----."
Mary: "Yeah. I wanted to quit a couple of months ago and go Christian. My lawyer's like, 'Don't quit now. You're starting to make a name for yourself. You're looking better than ever. Why not try to capitalize on it?'
"I go, 'Yeah, you're right!' But then, what am I capitalizing on?
"You've been a really good friend. Tell me. What would you do?
"He says that if we break up now, it's not like I can call him in a year or two and say, 'Everything's changed.' He'll never talk to me again, which is understandable.
"I feel like if I stay in this business, it's not going to work. If I leave this business, I might miss it.
"The only way it will work is if I turn my back on it completely and move away to a small town.
"What if no one ever loves me again?"
This might strike most readers as a ridiculous notion -- that a beautiful girl like Mary would never be loved again. But the porn star has articulated the deepest fear that most women have -- that they are not worthy of love.
Luke: "You can have the shallow adoration of thousands or you can have a real relationship with one man."
Mary sobs: "I know. I don't know what to do.
"As much as he says he hates this porn star drama, there's part of him, I think, that loves it. Any guy would.
"I feel that I am so deep into the porn thing, the feature dancing, it's going to be hard to quit it all."
Luke: "I hear voices in the background. Where are you?"
Mary: "I'm getting my hair highlighted.
"Kendra says she will hang out with me and help me get over it. I'm sad about Tawny but you've known Kendra for a long time. She's a level-headed girl. She's a good friend to keep around during something like this, right?"
Luke: "Yeah."
Mary: "She seems to me to be grounded. She's a good person, yeah?"
Luke: "Yeah, but all the people in this industry are screwed up."
Mary: "I am too."
Luke: "You need real friends who aren't in the porn industry."
Mary: "I have a normal friend who said, 'Come stay with me. I'll be your friend through all of this.'"
Luke: "Maybe you should talk to the XXXChurch people?"
Mary: "I burned my bridges with them. I was going to do that [VH1] TV show with them. Then they told me that Harold couldn't spent the night. I went crazy and burned my bridges with them. I burned my bridges with VH1 over Harold. He's caused me to burn a lot of bridges."
Luke: "I'm sure they'd still talk to you if you called them."
Mary: "I don't think so. I was pretty rude to them. Because of Harold, I gave up a lot of good things.
"If I stay with Harold and stay in this career, our relationship is going to end.
"Even the feature dancing... There's going to be cheating if I'm going to strip clubs around the country and he's coming with me. If he doesn't go with me, there's going to be cheating because he'll think I'm cheating on him. It's not a normal relationship for a guy to be in a stripclub every weekend. I'm putting him in an element where that happens. I'm putting him in temptation all the time.
"I've made him feel like he has no self-worth. Being with me on the road has taken away from his self-esteem. He wants to talk to other girls because I'm sitting here getting all the attention. He feels like his life is nothing while he's travelling with a porn star.
"If I really want to quit everything, it means burning my bridges with my dance bookings. I can't say to Harold, 'I'm going to quit everything. Let me just finish off this month of dance bookings.'
"I look at where some porn girl end up.
"Me and Tawny were having sex. He wanted to have sex with me while I was having sex with Tawny. Then I can't get mad if he touches Tawny in front of me because we're in that moment. He's feeling like a porn star.
"In a normal relationship, I wouldn't be having sex with a girl and I wouldn't be put in that predicament. Most guys in that predicament would do what he's doing -- grab her boobs, grab my boobs...
"Meanwhile, I'm on Mancow telling him I want to sleep with him. I can see why Harold is going to act out. This is how the industry is. It's hard to have a healthy relationship.
"Jenna [Jameson] and her husband [Jay Grdina] seem to have a great relationship, the best [porn] relationship of all time."
Luke: "You can never know how a person's relationship really is unless you are inside of it. For all we know, it could be a nightmare."
Mary: "It could be a business thing.
"I'm completely at a confused point. I have to figure it out now. I can't keep dragging him along and being unsure.
"I don't feel like I have many people to turn to and to lean on. I feel like I'm alone in the world without him."
Read The Consolation of Philosophy.
Mary: "How do I get through being alone in the world?"
Luke: "You've got to know that you've done it before and you can do it again."
Mary: "I'm already nervous at flying to my next dance booking by myself. I have a guy there who will help me roadie. I just have to spend one night by myself. That scares me.
"That's something people have to deal with in life. I've got to learn to grow up. Part of my problem with Harold is that I am never a grown-up.
"Aren't I a good psychologist? Stupid people don't have these thoughts. I'm able to analyze myself and see these things. I wish I wasn't able to see the stuff I see. It would be so much easier if I didn't understand. I wish I didn't think so much. I over-analyze. I worry.
"The fights that we have are not healthy. The problem is that neither one of us trusts each other. Why do you think we don't trust each other?"
Luke: "Because you've burned each other so much."
Mary: "He gets mad and wants to check my phone. I get mad and I want to check his phone. He says, 'Who did you talk to?' I say, 'Who did you talk to?'
"I hold on to everything. I bring up old stuff. I can't forgive and forget. Over and over again, I ask, 'Why did you do what you did three weeks ago?' 'Why did you say what you said?' 'You did this to me. Why did you do this to me?'
"Harold doesn't bring old stuff up."
Luke: "Why don't you guys separate, stop having sex, and start over?"
Mary: "But the second we got back together, I'd say, 'Who were you with? What did you do while we were apart? How many girls did you have sex with? Do you like me better?'"
The Hustler Tattler writes:
Wow, that phone call sounded heartwrenching, very sad. That exchange is what the industry is really about when people drop the B.S. and the spin.
I met her once at Hustler, she came in, lifted up her top, and flashed me and an art director. That was only time I actually saw a live nude girl in the black tower offices.
I hope things work out for her, she seems sort of trapped, as in "what will I do if I dont do porn?" But I would think she could be a mainstream model?
Jane writes: "Luke: Can you ask Mary Carey when she'll be making another public appearance? I want to videotape her."
Well, she's balling her eyes out right now at her hairdresser. That seems pretty public.
Holly Randall's Dream Shoot Tuesday - Alektra Blue And Melissa Lauren
Luke: My AOL crashed
HollyRandall: sure it did
Luke: this is your dream shoot because these girls look like twins
HollyRandall: i can tell when you're sick of me
Luke: damn, i can't rape [lost IM session]
HollyRandall: well i like both their looks
HollyRandall: i like dark haired girls with delicate features
Luke: me too
HollyRandall: melissa is one of my favs and i've been dying to shoot alektra
for ages
Luke: I believe my essay today is going to save hundreds of women from
posing nude.
Luke: You're going to go out of business.
HollyRandall: i doubt it
HollyRandall: your opinion, as justified as it might be, is as water to
a duck's back for 99% of people who read it
HollyRandall: i know you'd like to inject a hint of morality in your readers,
but it won't happen
Luke: I'm a voice crying in the wilderness
HollyRandall: yup
HollyRandall: in porn you certainly are
HollyRandall: your attempts to convince girls out of porn is noble but
unrealistic
HollyRandall: too many are too far gone by the time they read your column
HollyRandall: i know i was
HollyRandall: i think you would be happier if you stopped trying to save
people you can't save
Luke: It's more a matter of writing with passion, which I can only do
if I am brutally honest. It's the good writing and its inherent drama
in its context that I seek.
Luke: I've been doing it my whole life so...
Luke: When you write or speak from the heart, it is heard in the heart
(Hebrew proverb).
When Good Girls Pick Bad Men
MikeSouth: did you meet giga in vegas? I'm shooting her Saturday.
Luke: Yes. You guys met briefly in
Tampa?
Luke: she's awesome
MikeSouth: ya Im rather shocked
Luke: very cool, send me a non-nude pic of your shoot and I'll post it
and link to your site
MikeSouth: she dont wanna do "porn" but being in a magazine excites her
Luke: tell her to read my essay against holly posing nude, it might help
her
MikeSouth: dude who can figure out chicks...right?
MikeSouth: it wont
MikeSouth: she is from columbia
Luke: South America?
MikeSouth: the country not south carolina, bogata
MikeSouth: she is very headstrong about what she wants to do
Luke: have you poked her?
MikeSouth: LOL yer retarded
MikeSouth: no Im saving it for when we get married
MikeSouth: Giga excites me
Luke: me too
MikeSouth: maybe she is the one girl who will end up sucking the life
outta me
MikeSouth: but Im all for it
MikeSouth: I must like her a lot cuz her flight gets in at 730AM tomorrow
MikeSouth: thats usually around the time I go to bed
MikeSouth: so I gotta leave here at 6AM
MikeSouth: thats true love right there
Joe writes:
Maybe I just don’t get it but this mentality that if you “If you plan cashing the check” you lose your rights to choose who you will and will not work with is absurd. The excuses (reasons) should just be accepted, ”I don’t feel like it” end of story. This is not racist because there is also a problem with “She cashed the check, she could have said stop” even if some talent is afraid of their own shadow. In the real world if you get “hurt” (in any form) at work guess what, you still get to cash your check and seek damages.
Luke, do we really need 10 pictures of the same person at an event posted?
Why Would Holly Randall Pose Nude?
Holly Randall and her mom Suze are elite in their tastes. They only shoot a couple of times a week and are selective in their choice of models. They have a rule that they won't shoot someone unless the models first sees them in person. Less than ten percent of the girls who come to them do Suze and Holly eventually shoot.
It usually falls to Holly to explain to the model that she and her mom won't be shooting her (Kendra Jade and Mary Carey are examples of famous porn stars in the past that they elected not to shoot, though Suze shot Kendra this week and will probably shoot Mary in the coming weeks). One of Holly's favorite ways of explaining this is to say, "If I were a model, I wouldn't want to shoot me."
I fell in love with Holly through her personality. She only became sexy to me after I got to know her. When she gains or loses 15-pounds, I am unmoved (unless she's sitting on me). If she became a paraplegic tomorrow, I'd love her just as much (though I expect the sex would be more difficult).
So I'm cruising the redesigned Suze.net website and on the front page is a glamorous photo of Holly and she says: "From your favorite porn stars to naughty newcomers - if you've got a crush - we've got your girl! I guarantee you will love our site! Love, Holly Randall"
And I think how rarely I've heard that l-word from Holly and here she is giving it out to anyone who will visit her stupid website. Air Supply would not approve.
The internet can suck.
The inference on suze.net is that by buying a membership, you can gain access to Holly's sweet sticky goodness.
Miss Randall is a people-pleaser. She empathizes with models. She often says how glad she is that she is not a model. That she couldn't stand the constant rejection and critiques.
Yet Holly is the new mascot on suze.net. Yet Holly has posted artistic nudes of herself on suze.net (and then removed them). Yet Holly has all the traits of the model. Her inner model is just under the surface always wanting to jump out and play (which is cool, Holly is fun, and has self-awareness and is not pompous, and has the most amazingly thick-skin, and is willing to laugh at herself).
Holly loves the camera. She knows how to pose to make herself look best. She can look at pictures of herself for hours (just as I can write about myself for hours).
(Holly says she does not spend hours looking at photos of herself.)
Holly's always be more concerned about the photos I took of her than about what I wrote on her.
I don't know any non-model who has published as many pictures of herself on the web as Holly has, just as Holly does not know anyone who has published as much about himself as I have on the net.
(In the narcissism sweepstakes, I win.)
My favorite photos of Holly are wholesome ones where she's wearing little make-up and not trying to strike a sexy pose. I like Holly best as a wholesome girl, not as a porny girl. But being the child of pornographers who has worked fulltime in porn for the past seven years, she's a porny girl. Almost all of her friends are in porn.
It creeps me out that guys in particular are often trying to get Holly drunk, hitting on her, sending her pictures of their cocks, and getting her to strike such sexy photos as pushing her breasts together to maximize her cleavage (yes, Monstar, that's you).
It creeps me out that so many guys (particularly members of suze.net) have pushed Holly to pose nude for public distribution.
I've never taken naked photos of Holly (or any woman I've dated) and it horrifies me -- and simultaneously strikes me as absurdly funny -- that Holly may do this.
I never told her this until after she told me that she was not going to do it because it would be bad for her image as the future CEO of suze.net.
I think it sucks that she's the mascot for her own porn site but it is her life and her website and I don't bother her with my views in these matters (but rarely).
I don't like having a woman who's close to me on public sexual display. I prefer to think of my woman (and I'm not claiming Holly as my woman, just using her here to make a point) as only having sex with me.
(When a woman I love shares her body and soul with me, as well as provocative photos of herself, I find that exciting. When she shares that stuff with the world, I find it disturbing.)
I'm 39 and I understand that I can not make real these fantasies. I've only rarely dated virgins and I don't seek them out. I can't remake a woman and therefore I've learned to detach myself from things where I can't make a difference.
I don't think it does a woman good to pose nude and put her sexuality on display and make money from it.
I understand there are numerous seeming exceptions of women, particularly Hollywood actresses, who've had flourishing careers after posing nude, I do wonder how many flourishing marriages they've had.
Rather than empowering a woman, nude modelling will forever haunt her. She will cut herself off from at least 50% of humanity (not just the religious and not just Americans) who will not longer consider her real, but rather as a sexual object or freak.
My views are not dominant today. More young women than ever (as a proportion) expose themselves. I think it sucks when women I care about dress and act like whores. I'm down for writing on whores as interesting material but I'm not down for incorporating them into my life. The more whorish the woman, the less I want her in my life.
For me, there are two types of women -- women I want to marry and women I want to write about. (In this matter, and other things, Holly breaks my rules.)
Dennis Prager wrote a two-part essay on women exposing themselves:
In Part One, I offered two reasons for the increasing exposure of young women's bodies. One was the loss of female roles and identity, leading many young women to announce they are females in the only way left to them -- by showing their body. The other was the near-extinction of the concept of femininity, including the demise of feminine dress.
With no feminine role to aspire to, many young women feel powerless. The one area of power left for them is sexual.
Every woman knows that the quickest way to attract a man is to have him notice her. So it makes sense to assume that the more of her body she shows, the more men will be attracted to her.
So, as a service to any woman who is confused by the difference between "cute" and provocative as regards women's clothing, this may help. What you often call cute or attractive, men see only as a sexual come-on. If you wish to dress for sex, you should be entirely free to do so. But if you want love and attention, you have to know the difference between dressing for sex and dressing to be cute and attractive. The more skin men see, the more they think sex, not love. And that includes guys your age, your male teachers, your clergyman, your mailman, and the old man next door.
I despise the lies men tell women (and I've told many of them) to get them into bed or into the sex industry. I despise the "figure modelling" advertisements to lure women into porn. I despise the lies people tell themselves to justify behavior they should know is self-destructive.
Here are some arguments given to Holly for posing nude:
* It will increase signups to suze.net.
* It will help her empathize with models.
* It will unleash her hidden beauty.
* She'll be sharing herself with her fans.
One could argue (falsely) that Suze's success was largely based on her female perspective and that some of her greatest works were pictorials of herself (I don't know). She was not only the artist (pornography is the lowest form of art) but the subject as well (how profound).
How wonderful it would be to see pictures of Holly exploring her sensuality (you can do this far better with fully-clothed photos). Blah, blah.
It all comes down to horny men enticing Holly with appeals to her vanity. I think these arguments suck. I think the men making these arguments suck. And I think it sucks that women who should know better fall for this crap.
I'll never forget what Nick East told me a decade ago: That he could never settle down with a porn girl because he doesn't want his spouse having sex with other men.
"How would you feel walking into a party with a beautiful woman on your arm, knowing that every guy in there has f---ed her? Would you feel you were walking into the room with a treasure?"
HollyRandall IMs me: you are such a s---
HollyRandall: i say this with the greatest affection
HollyRandall: i just got this message:
HollyRandall: Remind Luke there
are far more pictures of him floating around than of
you, as far as i'm able to tell.
HollyRandall: i responded that i didn't think that was actually true
HollyRandall: i'm sure there are WAY more pics of me than you
HollyRandall: not necessarily floating around, but on my site at least
Luke: There are about 60 pics of me on lukeford.net and about 20 on lukeisback.
There were about 200 on lukeford.com
Chris writes: "More images of Holly on the internet. I count 1,000 images of Holly versus 713 of Luke."
If this essay doesn't get Holly and I on Dr. Phil, I don't know what will (short of hookers, blow and unwanted phone sex calls).
James DiGiorgio writes me: "Upon reading your latest Holly Randall angst-ridden rant, I've come to the conclusion that it's a good thing you're a jew. If you were a Christian or a Muslim, I think you could very likely rise to the depths of religious fundamentalism in the worst sense of the term. Since you are a Jew, and since Jews, generally, don't push their religion or their culture on the rest of us, the world is safe from the words and actions of one more fundamentalist."
As Dennis Prager says, everybody is a fundamentalist in his own way. Everybody has fundamental beliefs they rarely, if ever question. Mike Ramone, for instance, is a fundamentalist atheist. I doubt he's seriously studied the arguments for God's existence made by a believer.
Mike Ramone responds:
Luke, Luke, Luke, and here I thought you had finally learned to check with the people you write about before printing yet more untruths about them. You're wrong my friend. I have studied all the classical arguments for God's existence - first cause, the watchmaker/intelligent design, all of 'em - and just find them unconvincing and illogical. Btw, just for the record, I still consider myself an agnostic, not a "fundamentalist atheist," though one of late leaning more towards atheism (and don't try to equate the illogical, reason-challenged, anti-intellectual, faith-based beliefs of fundamentalist religious "believers" with the logical, reason-guided, intellectual beliefs of agnostics and atheists; I ain't no fundamentalist, got it?).
I do believe this though - that the Jewish/Christian/Muslim conception of an all good, all-powerful God who actually cares about people and events here on planet earth, is inherently illogical considering all the misery that goes on constantly. Any position to the contrary taken by "believers" such as yourself is simply grand rationalization. I think if God does exist, he/she/it quite clearly is not of the Jewish/Christian/Muslim mode and quite clearly doesn't care about people and events here on planet Earth. Either that, or he/she/it is the ultimate sadist.
Does Suze Randall Shoot Girls With Tattoos?
Not usually. But exceptions are made. I asked Holly about Angie Savage. She replied: "She's just got two big angel wings on her back. Natalia Cruze had tatoos all over her back, and we shot her a bunch of times. Sometimes Suze can overlook the tatoos."
The Seamy Underside Of Reality
By Tobi Elkin of MediaPost.com, Friday, Feb 24, 2006
THE ROAD TO MAKING A reality TV show is paved with more than a few bumps, dyspepsia, and plenty of mind-numbing ironies. So too, it turns out, is making a film about the underside of reality TV. "American Cannibal: The Road to Reality," a searing new documentary film premiering at the Tribeca Film Festival, goes behind the scenes of an ill-fated reality TV production and raises provocative questions for a media industry and advertisers that have seemingly insatiable appetites for the reality genre.
The film, directed by Perry Grebin and Michael Nigro, who've worked in TV news and for VH1, offers a compelling glimpse into the American mindset and the white-hot obsession with manufacturing fame and celebrity, especially that of the C-list variety.
The story is told from the perspective of writing partners Gil S. Ripley and Dave Roberts, who realize after rounds of fruitless pitching to cable network execs, that reality TV concepts are the only currency that matters.
Grebin and Nigro's documentary examines the innards of a reality TV production to probe the media industry and America's fascination with the genre, ultimately pointing out the insidious manipulations of reality TV, and how it has co-opted truth, and surely, scripted programming.
The directors chronicle Ripley and Roberts' travails and struggle to get work over the course of 18 months. The duo eventually score a writing opportunity, if you can call it that: they become involved in "American Cannibal," a "Survivor"-esque reality TV show backed by Kevin Blatt, best known for peddling the Paris Hilton sex tape that turned the heiress into a cottage industry.
The audacious Blatt, whose production company is mainly involved in adult entertainment projects in So-Cal's San Fernando Valley, is by turns hysterically funny, pathetic, but always shrewd. He offers some of the film's most unforgettable moments. This viewer was left wondering whether Blatt realized he was bordering on self-parody. One particularly surreal moment occurs as Ripley and Roberts are invited to a party with Blatt and his people. Nubile young women shake their enormous breasts at the bewildered writers, who can't quite process the madness. At one point, one of the women appears sans panties, white tampon string dangling before the camera. Hyper-reality sets in.
Blatt's production company held nationwide auditions last spring for the show, which was then dubbed "The Ultimate, Ultimate Challenge." The casting call sought strong, able-bodied people ages 18 and up. The directors introduce viewers to a gaggle of would-be contestants--clowning and ebullient, heady in their voracious desire to make it, or at least break through via a reality TV show. They want attention so badly, they appear ready for anything.
The production, touted as "Survivor" meets "Fear Factor" via "Eco-Challenge," commenced shooting last August on an island off Puerto Rico. What follows is a sweaty, nausea-inducing sequence of events as the cast and crew, Ripley and Roberts, host George Gray of ESPN's "I'll Do Anything," and the film's producers and directors try to keep up with the chaotic shoot.
After six days of shooting, there is a calamity: a young woman is injured in a fall during an extreme challenge. She falls into a coma and is transported to a hospital in Puerto Rico. Production is halted, the crew is confused, and few details are released. The aftermath of the accident is documented on camera--the young woman writhing in pain on the beach. The production becomes shrouded in secrecy and its backers sort of back away.
Viewers and the directors are left with nagging questions: What happened to the injured woman? Will she be okay? Is a lawsuit pending? Will the footage be repackaged as part of another show? What happens to Ripley and Roberts? (The film shows the stressful effects on their relationship).
Lengthy post-scripts are likely to be written right up until the final print is made. In the end, the viewer empathizes with the writers and production crew whose livelihoods depend on keeping production going, but also with the woman who gets hurt on the shoot.
We also feel badly for our pathetic reality-lovin' selves. Grebin and Nigro's biting and often painful commentary on the TV industry's shift to all reality, all the time (okay, okay, so we now have the bubbly and feel-good "Dancing with the Stars and "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition") is a thoroughly absorbing meditation on the substitution of reality for truth.
A phalanx of TV executives, producers, agents, writers, and the always camera-ready Robert Thompson, director of Syracuse's Center for the Study of Popular Television, turn up to comment on America's preoccupation with reality TV. Their harshly ironic comments are pure entertainment.
The filmmakers attempt to show people on all sides of the reality equation--producers, agents, networks, writers, crew, contestants--in order to cast a light on the human cost of accepting reality (TV) for truth.
"There's a spiritual, creative, and cultural cost to this form of programming," says Nigro in a recent interview. "What is America willing to accept as entertainment?" Enlightening, engaging, and thought-provoking, "American Cannibal: The Road to Reality" is charged with human pathos that makes it a critical must-see work of nonfiction cinema.
The film is bound to send viewers, the TV/media industrial complex, and advertisers into a relentless round of questioning--or at least a debate, the directors hope. "We're not trying to take a polemic stance, but there are a lot of issues we'd like to talk about," says Grebin.
"The Amazing Race," "Big Brother," and "Survivor," three of the best-known and most popular CBS reality shows, exemplify America's fascination with and addiction to reality TV. These shows got us hooked. Fox's megahit "American Idol," NBC's "Apprentice," and ABC's catfight drama "The Bachelor" have just as surely reeled us in. The voyeur in us wants more, more, more. We like to watch others struggle for a shot at minor celebrity. But what is it that makes most of America, including this writer, want to tune in to watch suffocating banality? Is it the escape from reality to what? Hyper-reality? Why do we buy the artifice reality show producers promote? Why don't we actively process the fact that they are packing as much drama into the challenges as possible and editing aggressively to build the maximum suspense?
After several seasons of both "Survivor" and "The Apprentice," there's a whole new crop of reality shows being sprung from production obscurity to living rooms, including a new FX reality show, "Black.White," in which makeup artists enable a black family and a white family to swap skin colors for six weeks. Ick. More aspirational properties like "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" and "Dancing With the Stars" have also made their way onto the scene. There are still plenty of wannabe models, actors, and musicians angling for a break on "Idol," while struggling single moms, financial analysts, and truck drivers make a pitch to be on "Survivor" and "The Amazing Race."
The film doesn't really strike at the heart of the economic rationale for the forcefeeding. It subtly implies that reality TV productions have lower production costs and overhead for the Hollywood/media/TV industrial complex. But it doesn't actually discuss the fact that the productions are easy for advertisers to support--and perhaps this is because advertisers don't know what goes on behind the scenes. Reality programming is less expensive to produce than scripted dramas, but these days only marginally.
According to Wayne Friedman, MediaPost's "TV Watch" columnist and West Coast editor, production costs for reality shows are now as high as $1.5 million per hour--not that much lower than the $2 million an hour minimum for scripted dramas like ABC hit "Grey's Anatomy." Location costs for reality shows are also skyrocketing. It costs a small fortune to keep the cast and crew in a mud hole in Africa. The flip side? Ratings gold for shows like "Idol" and "Dancing With the Stars." There is tremendous viewer interest in shows with participatory components where viewers weigh in with their votes via text messaging and online actions. For "Survivor" and "The Amazing Race," the exotic locales and nifty sets are big draws.
Reality shows are also perceived as advertiser-friendly, Friedman notes, with decent opportunities for product placement. Reality continues its relentless pace: an ad for a casting call for "Survivor" 13 recently appeared in a Southern California newspaper. Wanted: "Strong willed, outgoing, adventurous, excellent mental and physical health." The ad fails to mention the lengthy psychological exam and the necessity of signing a liability waiver within an inch of your life.
"American Cannibal: The Road to Reality" is produced by Grebin and Nigro's Acme Pictures, along with Denis Jensen, and Gill Holland of LasalleHolland. The Pacificap Entertainment Holdings-backed film is set to debut at the Tribeca Film Festival April 25-May 7. To access the film's production blog, go to: www.acme-pictures.com.
Kurt Lockwood - L.A.'s unsung prophet
Kurt Lockwood resents his hometown's refusal to recognize his greatness. Really.
A popular proverb in Spanish says, "You cannot be a prophet in your own land." And that's how quintessential Los Angeles pornographer Kurt Lockwood feels today, as he asks aloud why he isn't more famous in his hometown.
After all, his 2006 movie "The Decline of Western Civilization, Part 60: The Porno Years has been hailed as a classic L.A. crack-up film. His less well-received "After Midnight," he believes "is unknown for the masterpiece that it is." His short scenes have won awards (Kurt Lockwood & Ashley Long won the 2004 AVN award for Best Couples Sex Scene for Compulsion) and run in numerous compilations. So why is he better known in his new home of four years, San Francisco, he asks, than in his own city of fellow fallen angels?
"I'm not just another porner. I don't think people understand my relationship with this city, and they don't understand what I've achieved," Lockwood declares, as he sits in Guelaguetza, the Oaxacan mole mecca, near his childhood haunts in Mar Vista.
He's dressed in a black flamenco-style skirt, with black-stiletto-heeled boots, and a long black coat with flame-red trim — a style the San Francisco Chronicle described as "Morticia Addams gone gypsy." His eyelids and earrings are dusted with gold.
"There is not another male porn star in Southern California who sits between John Holmes and John Leslie, next to Rocco and Stagliano. I have the most stature, certainly, of any man in Southern California," Lockwood says.
"What is the disconnect that has occurred between me and Los Angeles throughout my career?" he asked, as he prepared to unveil his latest song, "Frantic Transmissions to and From Los Angeles," which details the geographical dislocation that he said pushed him away.
It was the lack of recognition that made him leave Los Angeles, he said and an inhospitable geography that explains "why Los Angeles doesn't have a literary and pornographic scene like New York and San Francisco." There, he said, "everything is within a plausible distance. There you can say, 'I'll go to your reading.'"
Lockwood says he believes he is misunderstood partly because he has engaged in the kind of backdoor excesses that, in his view, are permissible "tools of creativity" in the hands of only female porn stars.
Lockwood says he has been diagnosed as manic-depressive three times. He said he tried medication briefly but abandoned it when it strangled his performing.
"I made a conscious decision that I would prefer to live with the often debilitating effects of my mental problem and be a functional porn star," he said.
Observed at a party this past weekend, Lockwood was not shy. He would step forward, give a firm yet supple handshake, and say, "Hi, I'm Kurt Lockwod, porn star."
If one visits KurtLockwood.com, the header reads: "Pornstar, Model, Actor, Musician..." With a college degree in drama, Lockwood is truly a renaissance man.
"What has made my life in Los Angeles untenable, and made me have to leave Los Angeles, is that I am treated as a non-person in this city. L.A. can still claim me as the splendid mutation that crawled out from the stucco slums of Sepulveda," he says.
But he's not holding her breath. "It isn't just that L.A. doesn't understand your literary stature," he says. "Your own hometown isn't supporting you."
He continues, as the sunset deepens into twilight in the strip mall parking lot outside. "I'm the best-kept secret in L.A."
All The Pretty Girls
Some of my favorites have caught gonorrhea this year.
Which ingenue is pregnant by her boyfriend and likely out of the biz?
Porn Star Girlfriends
NiceThongsBiotch writes on ADT: "How do you hook up with porns stars that don't have herpes? I would sooo be cool with a pornostar girlfriend."
Taryn Thomas writes:
1st Off not all pornstars have Herpes! An it is only contagious at times of a outbreak. Which is treatable! Like most other common STDs. So I suggest you do some research on STDs, before you post stuff like that.
2nd Off Of course we can be faithful. Just because we do porn doesn't mean we are off f---ing every guy in sight.
3rd Off I have learned the hard way I... Don't date guys in the industry...
Gia Jordan writes: "Of course we date! We also breathe air and drink water. My dating life is the same as it was before porn. Currently, I'm single, but when it comes to commitment, I have always been monogamous. No matter how hard Manuel or Mike Stephano can make me cum on camera , it's nothing compared to my feelings for someone I'm dating."
Burt Kearns writes:
Everybody’s jumping at Daniel Craig this week, saying he won’t be a good James Bond. Blah blah blah. He's a good actor. Bond will be lifted to a new level. We waited an entire week to see if anyone would get on the real story: the new Bond girl is an arthouse DP porn queen, showing more snatch than Guy Ritchie, making Sharon Stone look like Mary Poppins and Maud Adams like Katie Holmes...
No, not Lee Tamahori.
Eva Green is more Suicide Girl than Maxim material, best known for her role in The Dreamers, Bernardo Bertolucci’s boner-boundary-breaking ménage au trios artfest, the most lasting impressions of which are the Internet freeze-frame grabs of Eva’s crotch. She's arty. She's European. She's Cinemax.
See her porn shots here.
This being 2006, most young moviegoers don’t know much of Bertolucci beyond his casting of Keanu Reeves as Siddhartha or Liv Tyler in some coming of age sex flick. He makes pretty pictures, but for more than thirty years, his real contribution to cinema has been pushing the perv limit, polishing X-ratings for the butter stick sodomy of that mad girl in Last Tango in Paris and the memorable vision of Jill Clayburgh’s full-frame butt as she's having sex with her son in the incest comedy, La Luna (her assiest, and Fred Gwynne’s classiest role). Not that Bertolucci's not an artist. We know. We’re artists too. We’re behind the current movie Cloud 9, and any of our
female stars (Angie Everhart or Gabrielle Reece most obviously) would be more palatable Bond girls than Bertolucci’s latest silly flasher chick, convinced by his Italioartistofakaclassitakaoffayouundies line of bullshit to spread all for a demiporn movie that ended up on HBO and screen grabs faster than she got her next role in yet another language.
Anyway, anyone giving Danny Craig a hard time at this point didn’t see Layer Cake, and certainly didn't live through the Seventies and old Roger Moore playing Bond with smut and a girdle (and Maud Adams, now that we think of it— look up her scandal and report back).
But what of Eva Green? She's the first Bond porn girl. Will she make history in Casino Royale as the first nude Bond girl in the 007 franchise? Danny Craig’s a down and dirty lad who could do Ian Fleming proud with a slapper like Eva.
What was Cubby’s family thinking?
Sharon Stone, meet Eva Green...
...meet Jill Clayburgh...
AVN Editor Heidi Pike-Johnson Turned Heidi Joy Pike (her maiden name)
I love myself and I don't really care what he thinks of me at all. I have people in my life who love me whether I weigh 120, 320 or 520 pounds or kilos. I think I look fine. My doctor and my nutritionist say that I am healthy and the people who matter to me think that I am a beautiful, good woman and that's enough for me. I don't f--- on camera or play for the WNBA for a living so I don¹t have to have the thighs that the majority of performers in this business do. My body does what I need it to do for the life that I have and I am personally happier with my physical self than ever.
This is now (February 23, 2006):
The XRCO has made me their trophy girl this year as many of you reading this have already seen on their site. I was told that part of the thinking behind it was awe over my big weight loss this year (120 pounds in the last 12 months--all diet and exercise) and part of it was regard for me as a critic but whatever it was ultimately, thanks, guys. It means a lot to know that you all support me. I promise to do the best I can as trophy girl that night and yes, Dirty Bob, that does mean my cleavage will be on display somehow. It's gonna be a fun night....
It's interesting how many women such as [Heidi's name deleted and] Newt Gingrich's ex-wife put tremendous effort into their appearance after a divorce and once they are back out there looking for a man. It makes you wonder if they had put some effort in earlier, there might never have been a divorce. A lot of women, once they get married, let themselves go. A man desires a woman who cares to look sexy for him.
I was mad at Holly last week because she was late for our dinner date. But then she arrived looking so good and smelling so good, I was flattered that she put in that much effort for me and I could only adore her.
I like it when my woman makes me feel like a man and allows me to make her feel like a woman. An essential part of femininity is putting effort into looking good for your man. Any woman who has the attitude "I'm never going to change myself for a man," is going to be a lonely angry woman.
Normally I would not comment on a woman's appearance as that is usually gauche, but Heidi has repeatedly raised her issues on the AVN Blog. On that basis (I've never before written about her appearance), I comment on them.
AVN President Paul Fishbein writes me: "First of all, Heidi lost all that weight before her divorce. And there are circumstances about her divorce that are obviously private. Further, there are circumstances about Heidi's life that must remain private, but that if were public would explain things clearly. However, the woman is proud of her accomplishments and we're all proud of her here as well. Mostly, she's gotten very healthy and should show off her new bod if she wants. And by the way, I think you have commented on her looks before."
I don't believe I have. I believe I only published the comments of another internet columnist, Tod Hunter, who said a rehead at the XRCO looked bloated. Heidi then took up the matter on AVN's blog and said women in the industry should not talk to Tod because he was misogynistic.
(Correcton: On June 29, 2003, I referred to Heidi as "AVN's chubby middle-aged assistant editor.")
Folks, if you are going to work in an industry that traffics in flesh, and you are going to write publicly about your own body and your own sexual desires and favorite porn films, then you are fair game for such observations.
Tod Hunter writes:
Yeah, she did, in a major flip-out after I ran one line about a "bloated redhead" at last year's XRCOs without even identifying who it was. (Red Ezra came forward and said he thought I was referring to him, but he may have been joking.) She tried to accuse me of misogyny, but it never stuck because it was never true, not then, not now. My writing and my attitude speak for themselves, and have for years, almost 10 of them in this industry.
Congratulations to Heidi for losing the equivalent of two first-graders, whatever her motivation may have been.
AVN Editor Mike Ramone writes:
Not exactly being a shredded hardbody himself, soft-bellied Tod is the last person who should make a snide remark about someone else being "bloated." When's the last time you worked up a good sweat guy? Back in that junior high school P.E. class of yours? Tell ya what. Meet me at the local Balley's on De Soto, and I'll personally, well, whip you into shape. Whatya say?
Tod replies:
I see Mike Ramone finally stopped whacking off to Anna Malle videos to bring up, yet again, that year-old blind item and then proposition me in that very special way of his. I appreciate the offer, Mike, but find somebody else to play with you in your dungeon.
--t
Still a bit paunchy, but I look so good in my new pinstripe suit nobody will notice.
I have one main piece of history with Heidi. On June 29, 2003, she came to a Tom Zupko set I'd been on for a few hours. She twice told the production manager Papillon to tell me to not speak to her nor photograph her (I'd made no move to do either and had no interest in doing either). Ten minutes later, she asked that I be removed from the set or threatened that she would leave (Heidi has long controlled the assignment of reviews at AVN, and hence wields considerable power, many porners fear her). I was consequently booted from the set (it's the only time a fellow journalist has successfully removed me from a set, Mark Kernes has tried, and probably succeeded at times in having me not invited to sets, as for me, I've never sought to have a fellow writer removed from a set). Aside from that, I've had no dealings with her (to the best of my memory).
In 2004, Heidi firing Ron Sullivan from his unpaid gig writing for AVNInsider.com after he wrote for my site.
Ron loved writing for AVNInsider. He wrote different stuff for them then he did for me. But it didn't matter. Heidi fired his ass.
The Heidi Pike Joy I know has no compunction about hurting people if it suits her. I'm sure there are more heartwarming sides to Heidi. I just don't know them.
AVN's Peter Warren writes on AVN's blog:
... I guess because attacking us AVNers on a personal level is joyous fun for him, or constitutes good reading in his eyes, or whatever it may be, but as her colleague and close friend, I have to admonish him for this latest crass writing. I really don't know how much Heidi wants made public about her decision to change her name, but I'll simply say that you've got it very backwards, Luke. And you've hurt her feelings very badly, which I cannot stand by and watch someone do to a friend in a public forum (or a private one, for that matter). This is shameless, and has nothing to do with your supposed objective to report on porn news ... especially since what you wrote is conjecture and not at all nearing the actual truth of the matter. What has Heidi ever done to you, Luke? Does she go on our blog and say unsubstantiated, hurtful things about your personal life? Or anything about you at all, even? I can't influence what you do on your site, but I think you owe Heidi an apology, and a public one. That's just not playing fair, man.
...Interesting how you omitted Heidi's name from that sentence after Paul and myself pointed out the error of your suppositions, and then went on to defend yourself as having based said suppositions on "information she chose to make public." They were based on nothing but your own unproven inferrences about what information you had available to you. And they were cruel.
Heidi blogged repeatedly on AVN.com about her weight and self-image (how wonderful it is and that "my cleavage will be on display"). She's in a public position and she chose to make this part of her private life public. She started writing publicly under a different name (Heidi Pike Joy).
I have not investigated her private life. I have no intention of doing so. I made some commonsensical points about information she chose to make public.
In my only dealing with her, I encountered unbelievable pettiness and paranoia. I've never argued that this amounts to her totality. I've never argued she's a bad person. I've only written about her when she has made herself the story (and one time when a several porners pointed out to me their belief that she uses her position to play favorites, and when I ran that story, I included several rejoinders from people endorsing her editorial integrity).
This ruckus reminds me of minor skirmishes I've had with Dirty Bob. For about six years, Dirty Bob has gone out of his way to tell people not to talk to me, and to not allow me at their events. So one time when I point out the reason he no longer goes to conventions (after I email him well before publication so he can respond on or off-the-record), he accuses me of playing dirty pool.
I don't investigate Dirty Bob's life or Peter Warren's or Heidi Pike Joy's. When they make stuff public, I sometimes respond with common sense.
I've crossed the line in my nine years of writing online and done bad things, just not in these instances.
Joanna Angel Signs At Hustler Hollywood - Pictures
Tara reports:
Joanna Angel came to Los Angeles to sign copies of her latest movie release, 'Joanna's Angels 2'. The film stars Joanna, Dana De Armond, Charlotte Stokely, Pinky Lee, Kylee Kross, Sabrina Spark, James Deen, Pixie Pearl, Tommy Pistol, and Mr. Marcus and features music by The Transplants. In addition to starring in the film, Joanna Angel also directed and wrote the script.
Ashley Blue stopped by to offer her support to Joanna Angel. The two hugged, chatted and giggled together, before Ashley left with friends for a local bar. Click here to listen to interview audio featuring Ashley. Eon McKai cohort Malachi Ecks also made an appearance.
Joanna's Angels 2 is a spoof of Charlie's Angels in which the president's daughter has been kidnapped and will not be released unless alt porn is made illegal. The DVD hits stores on April 4, 2006.
See previous FreePornStarPix.com coverage of Joanna Angel and her Joanna's Angels 2 co-stars in our archives:
Mary Carey Breaks Up With Harold
I call her at 4:50 p.m.
Mary: "I feel bad now for what I said about Tawny, even though it was the truth. So can you say I'm sorry? I love her to death.
"I think I'm leaving Harold for good. I'm finding out about all
these lies. Who knows?"
After talking to Mary, I got Harold's side of things. That comes later in this story.
Mary: "I took him to a psychic yesterday to see if he was a liar. The psychic says he seems like a good guy, but I don't know.
"I asked the psychic all these questions and made Harold sit there for two hours.
"I've never gone before to a psychic.
"I wanted to take him to a place and give him a lie detector test, but I didn't know how to go about that. I called my friend and she said, 'Why don't you take him to a psychic?' So I took him to the psychic my friend uses."
Luke: "What sort of questions did you ask him?"
Mary: "What did he do with Tawny? Did he ever cheat on me? Why did he lie to me about going to the stripclub? She said it was because he didn't want to hurt me.
"Last night was supposed to be the last night. Then I forgave him. Then today I made him pack his stuff up.
"I'm driving myself around. Usually he drives me everywhere. But I drove myself to Legend today. I drove myself to the dermatologist. I'm driving myself to AIM now. I'm driving to get my nails done.
"I can do things on my own. My thing is that I don't like to be alone at night. I can't be dependent on having Harold there all the time.
"I like having sex with Harold. I like that I thought he was really hot. I have weird taste in men. It's a silly reason to keep someone around."
Luke: "Did he pack his stuff and leave?"
Mary: "Last night he was going to leave. Then he started crying. I started crying. We had sex. He decided to stay. This morning I got mad at him. I looked at his phone and saw that he had phone numbers of strippers from the club we were at in Florida. I told him to pack his stuff. He started packing. Then he said, 'I'll do anything. I'll change. I'll do whatever it takes.'
"He started crying because he wanted money for his car payment."
Luke: "What does he do for a living?"
Mary: "He used to do real estate. When he met me, he started driving me everywhere. When I didn't have Tawny, I like having someone around me 24-hours a day. I have a fear of being alone. It's a psychological problem because my grandparents died. I don't really have family.
"I've had a tendency to do this to any guy who doesn't have a really good job, such as my ex-husband and Harold. I convince them to leave everything they're doing to be around me all the time. Harold would come with me everywhere. That became his fulltime job.
"Then I get mad that the guy has no money. I don't like paying for everything, but how can I expect the guy to pay for anything if he's with me 24-hours a day.
"I'm on the road every weekend. How can a guy have a normal job [and accompany Mary]?
"Half of his stuff is packed up. I told him, 'Fine, Harold, I'm going to go about things on my own.' He couldn't believe that I was going to get in the car and go about things myself.
"It's been a long time since I drove myself. It's more fun to have someone drive you anywhere. But I feel good to be independent.
"Driving is stressful. I'm trying to find AIM.
"Maybe I'll just stay with him through my movie shoot (Feb 28) and I'll break up with him on my movie shoot. I'm flying Wednesday (Feb 29) to another state.
"Harold's a good guy but Jessica Jaymes says he was hitting on her. She has no reason to lie.
"Tawny's not talking to me anymore. It was wrong of me. I get really mad and I express myself. I didn't know who to believe. They both lied to me about the stripclub.
"If Harold and I break up, I'm going to be very sad.
"Oh, that girl's hot. Sorry.
"I always park in the Gelsons next to AIM. I've only been to AIM twice since they moved. I didn't shoot a movie for a year with Kick Ass Pictures. But now with Legend, this is my second movie. I hope that this time I'm not so nervous. The only people I've had sex with since my last movie are Harold and Tawny. The last [HIV-test] I was nervous because I'd had sex with an NBA player.
"I used to get nervous all the time when I was single and having sex with NBA players.
"I've done a lot today. I got a facial peal. I went to get my lips touched up. I had to add a little more to my upper lip."
Luke: "Is that plastic surgery?"
Mary: "I guess it kinda is. They inject restylane in it.
"When I didn't have Harold, I used to have Tawny. Now I have nobody."
Luke: "Maybe you should join AA and meet a guy in there."
Mary: "I've been sober the past couple of days. I like to party. I don't wake up and drink. I drink when I go out at night. I'm a binge drinker.
"How funny are some of those pictures of me and Tawny? Did you see how drunk we were?
"I went to see Suze Randall a couple of years ago and did some Polaroids. I'd like to go see her now that I've lost weight and look different.
"I can't believe I'm here at AIM. I can't believe I'm doing porno. Some days I don't want to do porn. Other days I love porn and think it's the greatest.
"Once you enter into it, you're stuck. If you're well known, it's harder. If you're not well known, it only takes one person to catch a movie and there goes your school teacher career."
Luke: "It forever changes your life."
Mary: "That's something I didn't quite realize when I got into it. I just thought it would be a lot more glamorous."
Luke: "There are two days of glamor."
Mary: "I like doing photo shoots.
"I need a fax number [for the AIM form]. What's your fax, Luke?
"I'll put Legend's fax number.
"I remember I used to get tested and I'd be so scared to find out my results.
"Where's Kendra? I called her and IM'd her and she hasn't called me back. I need to hang out with her. She needs to be my new girlfriend. Tell her I'll be a good girlfriend.
"Tawny gets very jealous when I hang out with anybody. She got very jealous when I went on Howard Stern with Kendra. I miss Tawny. But I love Kendra. I love everybody. When are we going to hang out, Luke?"
Luke: "I don't drink."
Mary: "We'll go out sober places."
Luke: "Do the people at Legend give you advice?"
Mary: "They want me to lay off on the drinking. Jack [co-owner] told me, 'No more drinking so much.' Then I was bad at AVN. That was partially Harold's fault.
"Harold emailed Pamela Peaks and all these people mean things [about Mary]. He erases people's numbers from my phone.
"Jack saw me at a basketball game last year holding two drinks in my hand and walking around with Tawny."
Luke: "Why don't you go to therapy?"
Mary: "I know what my problems are. I studied a lot of psychology when I was in college. I know that my major issues are: I was overly-attentioned as a child by my grandparents which causes me to constantly need attention. It causes me to go out with a lot of guys and to constantly need people around me. The drinking comes from my feeling that I need to be the drunk fun center of attention."
Luke: "With a therapist, you have to confront someone every week [about one's issues]."
Mary: "I'm so confused. Is there where I put my pee? Just drop it in the thing? I have to get my blood drawn? Oh Luke, I hate getting my blood drawn."
I call Harold. He sounds despondent (as I would be if I were in his situation).
Harold: "I'm running around dealing with the porn star drama."
Luke: "I just spoke to Mary Carey and it sounds like you guys are on the edge."
Harold: "We're right there."
Luke: "She's been driving herself around today."
Harold: "I can't see why she can't run her own errands while I do what I do during the day."
Luke: "Do you think you might go back and take a regular job?"
Harold: "That's what we're debating right now. I'm a fairly successful person on my own. I don't see the need to babysit 24-hours a day. That's what it is hanging out with her."
Luke: "You've spent [nine] months babysitting Mary Carey. Now where are you at?"
Harold: "Exactly. How much time are you going to waste? What are you really working towards?
"She's a good person. She understands what is right and wrong. For every step forward, she takes two steps back with all her partying. It's obviously not worth it if that's the case."
Luke: "Is it good for you to be in this porn world and partying world?"
Harold: "You can't do that all the time. She can make money off partying."
Luke: "What do you put on your resume for the past eight months? 'Mary Carey's babysitter?'"
Harold: "Exactly. That's what it is."
Luke: "How did you like the time with the psychic yesterday?"
Harold: "I don't believe in any of that.
"Anyone who Mary and I sit in front of can tell that there's obviously only one problem -- her alcoholism. That's it. That's the only problem. When she's sober and when she does what she's supposed to do, the sky's the limit."
Luke: "Have you gotten caught up in the porno lifestyle with strippers?"
Harold: "No. Not at all. It's an easy thing to leave. It's nothing that I'm interested in whatsoever. People have told her a few times, 'Maybe he is only with you because he's trying to get into the business.' That's not the case. I could care less about getting into this business."
Luke: "She's obsessed, she alleges you've been cheating on her."
Harold: "She's all over that. Her friends, especially Miss Tawny Roberts, she wants them all for herself. They party. When they're with each other, they have no inhibitions. They have nothing to live for when they're together. They're spiralling downward together so it makes them feel good.
"If she's going to believe it, I don't need to be with her for that reason. I'm level-headed. I stay grounded.
"That porn star stuff, from my background, that's all embarrassing to me. To even hang out and be with the people I hang around is embarrassing to me."
Luke: "Have you fallen in love with Mary Carey?"
Harold: "Definitely. I love her to death. That's the problem."
Luke: "What do your friends advise you? Do they say, 'Stay with Mary and ride that porno road'?"
Harold: "No. My friends say f--- that."
Luke: "Go back to your real life."
Harold: "Yeah. If you're going to ride that porn route, start a business and capitalize off of it. But I could be way more successful in other areas. I have great people around me. I come from a great background. The problem is I love Mary."
Luke: "It's going to be a tough few weeks for you if you guys go your separate ways."
Harold: "Yes. I'm not the type of person who makes phone calls and says, 'Maybe we can work it out.' No. When I'm done, I'm done. I don't make any phone calls. I don't cry. I move on. You'll probably never hear from me again.
"If she chooses to do the right thing and let go of what people are saying and the past, I could deal with that. I feel like we can work through these things. Porno or not, every couple goes through a lot of bulls---. Other couples cheat and are disrespectful to each other.
"If Mary and I can work through, I'd love to. She's a smart girl. She knows the difference between right and wrong. A lot of these other girls I've been around, some of them her friends, they don't even see the options. They choose wrong because that's the only option. Mary sees the difference even though she chooses wrong more than half the time.
"A lot of the time she's just playing that porn star role. Making these decisions on purpose because it is a good story."
Luke: "Would you like her to quit the industry?"
Harold: "We've talked about that. Right now it doesn't bother me. I knew she was a porn star when I met her.
"It should bother me, I guess. To a certain extent, it bothers me. Ultimately, I feel like I could deal with it if we were to stay together and she had to do another guy."
Luke: "Would you like her to quit the industry?"
Harold: "I would. I would be happier if she quit the industry if it made her happier to quit the industry but the problem is she's so attracted to the industry, I don't thinks she would be happy. She's got those few years left of partying in her."
Luke: "What would it take for her to quit drinking?"
Harold: "It'd probably take something that would change her life, a death, something completely dramatic."
Luke: "Does she use drugs?"
Harold: "No. Every once in a while, I've seen her do a basic drug that everyone does. In the nine months I've been with her, I've seen her do a line of coke a couple of times."
Luke: "How often does she turn off the porn star persona and be real? Or are they the same?"
Harold: "She turns on the porn star thing in social events. In private, she's fairly tame. Alcohol makes her turn on the Mary Carey porn star role. Or being around other porn stars."
Luke: "I can't believe her porn star friends are good for her."
Harold: "All her friends that I've met have substance problems. Are there porn stars who deal with the industry in other ways? You know more than I do."
Luke: "Not all of them have substance problems, but I wouldn't want my girl to have porn friends. I wouldn't want her in porn. I wouldn't want anyone to be in porn. I don't think it is a good place to be, particularly not for someone you care about."
Harold: "I don't know what these other girls do in their private time. Her friends abuse all kinds of drugs, even prescription pills is a problem, mixed with alcohol, mixed with street drugs, it's a huge problem."
Luke: "I'm sure most of them are hookers."
Harold: "They're all hookers. Mary's the only one I know who's never done it.
"Hold on. That's her calling on the other line."
Luke: "Take care."
I email Kendra Jade: "Mary Carey's mad at you. She wants to hang out with you. Call her back."
Kendra replies: "Hahaha what are u my message service now."
I Thought Holly Randall Was A Photographer
But every time I talk to her while she's at work, she's assisting somebody else, usually her mother or Chris or Onxxx. Maybe it was her childhood dream to hold lights, check camera readings for the real photographer, monitor wardrobe and make-up, and help models fill out their paperwork? I understand that Suze Randall, the owner, gets first dibs. I don't understand why Holly spends 99% of her work time doing everything but photography.
I have no emotional investment in this because I don't think shooting porn is noble. I feel no joy when Holly gets a photo credit in Hustler magazine and other sleazy rags.
Holly replies: "Now why on earth would you say that? It's not true that I "love being an assistant" -- I'm shooting this Tuesday, for instance. I don't consider myself to be "above" any task. I work the digital computer as we work, and since I edit, I can tell how much more we need to shoot to, say, get a centerfold out of the set. We all tend to take turns, and when my mother and Chris shoot, I assist. I'm also a producer for the video so I do a lot of the organizing of the day."