Tuesday, November 8, 2005
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Rob Spallone Believes I'm A Cop
I call him at 1pm Tuesday.
Rob: "You're out of your mind."
Luke: "What do you mean?"
Rob: "Are you a cop? I'm starting to think you're mental or you're a cop."
Luke: "Pal, you know I'm mental."
Rob: "I don't know yet. I'm beginning to think you wear a wire."
Luke: "You know me. You know I'm a nutcase."
Rob: "Are you out of your mind with this story on the computer again."
Luke: "Which story?"
Rob: "You know exactly what I'm talking about."
Luke: "That story."
Rob: "Are you a cop?"
Luke: "I'm not a cop."
Rob talks to a friend: "Look at this blonde. Holy s---... Let me call you right back."
Rob hangs up.
Luke: "Joey's a friend of mine. He gets a kick out of it when I write about him. The man has an unbelievable sense of humor, Rob."
Gina Tease - For All The Wrong Reasons
Joe writes:
Gina Tease shouldn't be a new hottie on the porn scene. She is, in fact, a senior at Kaukana (WI) High School who earned honorable mention on the Wisconsin Volleyball Coaches Association All-State team. Granted, her name caught my attention for naughty reasons. But I got to thinking....does the XXX industry check that any stage name isn't already taken by a real person...a real person who could sue for defamation of character or something like that?
Yes, a person could sue for defamation of character.
Which Famous Pornographer Left Chasey Lain Tied To A Cactus In The Desert?
Friend: "Your girlfriend doesn't hate it that you're talking about her on the site?"
Luke: "No. She loves it."
Friend: "Nobody has gotten on her case about you yet?"
Luke: "No."
Friend: "What about when you post transcripts from your conversations?"
Luke: "She doesn't mind."
Friend: "Wow. What happened to Christian Mann? Did he swallow a vocabulary pill this morning?"
Luke: "I thought it was good."
Friend: "It was very poignant, however, I think that 99% of what he writes is lost on the morons reading the boards. Who does he think he is? Ernest Greene? He's the only other person who talks like he talks.
"I'm bored."
Luke: "Which Famous Pornographer Left Chasey Lain Tied To A Cactus In The Desert? Jenna Jameson's husband Jay Grdina."
My friend cackles. "Get out of here! He left her there?"
Luke: "Yeah."
Friend: "That's tremendous. Why did he tie her to a cactus?"
Luke: "I guess he got sick of dealing with her prima donna ways."
Friend: "That's tremendous. I love Jay. Knowing Jay, that story's even funnier. He wouldn't put up with any of that s---. He's a funny guy."
The Real Reason Jim Kohls Left LFP After Running Company For About Two Decades
It was not:
* Because he was fired.
* Because he wanted to start his own company.
* Because he received a better offer.
* Because he disagreed with the direction of LFP.
* Because he didn't get along with people at LFP.
Jim Kohls left LFP in January because he believed he was cheated out of a substantial bonus (not related to the acquisition of VCA).
The day Kohls left, Mark Hamilton (Jim's close friend who was running LFP Video) said, "I'm out of here too." LFP asked Mark to stay for a few months to help with the transition to new management. Then something else occurred and Mark said, "I'm not going to stay two months. Only two weeks."
LFP seems to change direction every few days.
Do penis-enhancement pills really work?
Drop me a line, manufacturers, on how you can send me free samples like those good people at Herbal-O did. This means you, Vivid Herbal.
I want to make a larger impact on the woman in my life.
But the thicker you get, the harder your erections have to be to penetrate. So it is a double edged sword.
The Last Word On Going South Of The Border
"Why Won't He Go Down on Me?"
In this era of the "do-me" woman, this, more than any other question, seems to perplex the average white woman in the 18 - 40 age bracket.
"Dixie" writes Luke: "What is it with guys? My boyfriend is pretty good in most ways, but he just gets this look of terror and fear on his face every time I suggest that he ought to return the favor and go down on me."
So why won't he go way down south on Dixie? For reasons both plural and compelling, and seldom discussed by female relationship bloggers. I will present just a few of them here (I'm sure my readers can add many others to this list):
1. Because the average vagina is a scary looking mess. Seriously ladies, how often do YOU get to inspect the entrance to your birth canal at a distance of several centimeters? It's a scary, asymmetric looking thing, built more like a water spout or drain (the tap on a keg of beer comes to mind, provided that it is an old and banged up tap) than anything nature might have intended to attract the male. Not for nothing do you never see animals engaged in oral sex.
2. Because getting to it is hard work. Seriously, unless you are the sort of yoga class attending pansy who can twist his body into the shape of a pretzel, you are like me, and would rather eat a pretzel than eat . . . that. It's just too hard on the male neck to get down to it. Utterly unlike say, fellatio for the woman, because while the penis protrudes from the male torso with at least three degrees of freedom, the pudendum just sits there and has to be approached by much more arduous means.
3. Because many vaginas smell bad. Really ladies, and rather than have to be the one to break this news to you, we choose to make up excuses as to why we cannot go down there.
4. Because vaginas can make you sick. The soft, moist, pink tissues of the vagina can harbor numerous pathogens that can be readily transmitted to the soft, most and pink tissues of a man's face, and these include herpes, syphilis, NGU, chlamydia, HPV, Creutzfeld-Jakob Disease, Q-fever, Lassa Fever, and the clap. Short of using a rubber dental dam (which no man wants to mess with), there's just no safe way of going down on a woman without a whole team of epidemiologists and microbiologists standing at the ready to do a thorough inspection.
5. Because going down on a woman is the physical equivalent of being the first one on the relationship to say "I love you." Not a wise move.
And yet . . . I am the first to admit that when the time comes and I fall in love with a true woman of valor and make her my wife, I shall readily do this and more to keep her happy. But until then, I'm staying out of Dixie.
Do you got a question? Then I've got an answer. Just_ask_luke@yahoo.com
Naked Ambition: Women Pornographers and How They Are Changing the Sex Industry
I agree with Ford's assertion that female directors aren't radically changing the porn industry's product (and that's all I agree with). For product to change significantly, companies have to be aggressive in developing the female consumer market. Every other industry does detailed market research in order to gain new customer segments. Does the porn industry do this? If so, which women are they targeting? What do they do with the data? Is that where "couples porn" comes from? I see plenty of product marketed toward couples, but not much strictly toward women. What women are willing to watch with their mates might differ strongly from what they'd watch alone. In the end, the only people that can change the product are female consumers. Trouble is, women have their men shop for their porn. The industry needs to try really hard, in creative ways, to make women want to buy porn themselves. The only way women's preferences will change the industry is if they speak with their dollars. Right now, we've got our men speaking for us, and they don't always pass on the message quite the way we meant it.
Christian Mann, putative owner of Video Team, writes:
Luke just writes this stuff to be inflammatory and make his site less static. He probably moved from this silly rant, feigning indignation with the same overacting prose he uses to suddenly proclaim (and re-proclaim) his devotion to Judaism. He'll then lament the unrequited love of some porn girl and when he's done with that he will go into muck-racking mode exposing the secretive power-elite of the business. When he's totally out of creativity, he regales you with cut and paste copies of IM discussions with Rob Spallone which is less interesting than eavesdropping on Jim South's lunch group at Solley's Deli.
If you're confounded by the quixotic lapse of logic in his thesis, it's because Luke himself doesn't believe this pap, so it doesn't have to make sense. The joke's on you! Luke is like Andy Kaufman, willing to be hated as long as he's noticed. Like Andy's comedy, a Luke blog is art because he says it is. Luke is much smarter than most of his readers (which isn't saying much).
The next best thing to watching Luke goad readers into debating a non-sequiter brain fart, is watching DAC stir it up to see who else would bite.
In my defense, I hope you'll note that I didn't waste one keystroke with a point/counterpoint on the artificial controversy that started this thread, i.e. the insipid musings about the influence of women directors.
Shane Diesel Continued
He still hasn't returned my phone call on this matter, nor spoken to anyone in the Adult media.
His woman is Jessica Dee, who tested HIV-positive last Spring. Shane has always tested HIV-negative and continues to work in porn. Many of his partners have not known he was living with and loving someone HIV-positive.
Katja Kassin writes on ADT: "Nobody in this industry, not AIM, not Sharon Mitchell and nobody else can tell anybody in this business what they can do in their personal life. It is up to everybody's own responsibility to choose who they want to hire and who they want to work with."
David Aaron Clark writes:
Katja -- when your personal life affects those you work with in direct ways, then standards can be set. Athletes, airplane pilots, train drivers, policemen, firemen, etc. are all open to drug testing by their employers, as are many other professions. Doesn't matter whether you're actually high at work, just whether it's in your system. Sorry, but the childish view of "that's my private life, none of your business" doesn't apply when it affects the health & well-being of those around you in the workplace. Which having an HIV+ partner certainly does when your job is to play the odds & have constant unprotected high-risk sex acts with others. Your individual liberty to put your own life at risk ends where the next person's liberty to NOT take that risk with you begins.
I know that you must know Shane. Do you, then, think he should be working? & under what circumstances? Should the talent he's going to be in a scene with be informed when they're booked as to his status? When they show up to the set? After the pop? Never? & on another note, is Shane doing creampie scenes? I'm not trying to demonize him. I don't know Shane, but I've been told over the last couple of years that he's a very nice guy by more than one person whose opinion I respect. But this is a health issue, it has nothing to do with "nice."
Katja responds:
I didn't mean to say that I don't care what everybody does in their private life. I wanted to end the discussion about whether AIM and Sharon Mitchell should get involved or not. It's not their business, it's up to Shane to make an official statement. I wish somebody could find out about this and in case it was true could make something happen but nobody can do this and nobody will unfortunalety. I don't know Shane personally and I guess he is a nice guy. If it is not true then he has nothing to hide but if it's true then we, his co workers, have the right to be informed. I spoke on the phone with him earlier this year but our conversation - let me put it this way - left me very unsatisfied. I do believe that the time is right to let evrybody know what is going on so they know before the scene what they are dealing with. Like I said before a good friend of mine found out after the scene and was totally devastated.
Ira Levine (Ernest Greene) writes:
As AIM's Chairman of the Board, I just have to put in a quick comment here about what we can and cannot do.
If and when a performer tests positive, by virtue of said performer having signed a release before taking the test, we can and do inform the entire industry through our Web site, via Lab-DAT and through immediate phone and e-mail contact.
However, until a performer tests positive, whatever our concerns or suspicions about his or her personal life might be, we are legally bound to keep them to ourselves. Medical confidentiality, except in the specific instance of positive tests for which the testing party has granted us the right to trace contacts and give out information, prevails by law over whatever we may have heard from a third-party source.
It's not our job to police the private lives of performers, and that's a good thing because we wouldn't want that job and couldn't possibly do it. There's no way to monitor people's off-set behavior.
Now, would we give advice if asked? You bet. We would advise anyone that having sex with someone who is HIV+ is certainly higher risk , despite whatever precautions are taken, than doing so with an uninfected partner. Am I personally comfortable with the idea of anyone with an HIV+ partner having unprotected sex with someone who is HIV-, on camera or anywhere else for that matter? No, I'm not. I think it's a very bad idea.
Would any attempt by AIM, production companies, other performers or any governmental agency prevent this from happening? Clearly, it would not. Nobody can stop anybody from having sex with anybody else if the individuals involved are determined to proceed. That is a lesson many in our society simply refuse to learn, hence the bullshit of so-called "abstinence-only" "sex education," which results neither in abstinence nor in education.
Once again, this is a matter of personal responsibility. I know some people in this industry keep hoping for a big daddy to come along and protect them all, but that simply cannot happen where human beings making human choices are involved.
This is also a reason why even the very finest testing protocols, which we're fortunate to have in our industry, are not foolproof. Nothing in this world is proof against foolishness beyond a certain point.
It's up to individual performers to accept responsibility for their own actions and to concern themselves with the choices of those who do not.
Whatever we all may think about the situation under discussion here, only those directly party to it have any power to affect the ultimate outcome.
For that very reason, I would appeal to anyone facing such decisions to make them with extreme care. The cost of a wrong move, as we have already seen, can be catastrophic.
Picman writes:
If the allegations about Shane are true, he shouldn't be performing. While sticking with Jessica is to be lauded, putting other performers at risk is deplorable. Even full disclosure isn't good enough because young people tend to think of themselves as invincible and would still opt to work with him after being told of all the safety precautions he takes in his private life. The agents of these young women should be at the forefront and put their clients' safety ahead of profit for once. New Sensations should be taken to task over their hiring and shaping so many series around him. Of course, this is all contingent on the veracity of the allegations. Shane should stand up and speak up.
This conversation is carried on in a much more responsible and adult way on XPT, where it all started with this Ashley Blue post last week.
Any Nikki Nova (a host of Playboy’s Nightcalls 411) Articles In Mainstream Press or Independent Stories in Adult Press?
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude writes on GFY:
Considering Nikki's status in the adult industry, and the buzz generated by KingAdam on GFY and other boards about Nikki's horsing accident (leading to severe injuries and a medically induced coma), I am somewhat surprised that I have not yet seen a single article in the mainstream press or an independently corraborated story in the adult press about this incident which occured days ago.
If one was seeking to raise awareness or funds, I would think the mainstream press and adult press would be logical places to spread the word about what happened and how people can help.
Given KingAdam's great concern in raising funds for Nikki, I would be amazed that he would overlook these channels. Maybe I just missed the articles. Can anyone else post a URL of an independent account of the Nikki Nova tragedy?
I saw a blurb on AINews but it was mostly a press release fundraising statement with no obvious independent reseach or corraboration. Aside from that...nada.
The main reason I raise this issue is that in the past when an adult industry person was involved in some newsworthy event (positive or negative), I have generally been able to read more about it from various sources besides message boards.
Adam is related to Kevin and Darren Blatt (KBizzle and D$ / D-Money respectively), and they sure know how to get mainstream publicity. I'm sure by now they could have helped Adam to get the story out there, even with his lawyer's restrictions...
Why don't Americans end telephone conversations properly?
Damian the Brit writes on GFY: "Every time I phone the US I feel like I've been hung up on. You finish the business with the person on the other end and then you just put the phone down - its strange, it feels incomplete. Over here we have this whole procedure when ending a call. Some Australians do it as well. Moan over."
Bri writes: "Why don't British people go to orthodontists?"
Rich219 writes: "After you cum, the call IS complete!"
Silent Knight writes: "A while back I worked as a phone rep for Crapital One - dealing with American card holders...and I'd judge well over half of them never ended the conversation with a polite "good-bye" or similiar. They'd finish talking and hang up. To someone who was raised to use a polite "Hello" and "Good-bye," I always found it rather rude."
KTJL writes: "I answer the phone with "WHAT?!" and end the conversation by simply hanging up the phone whenever I don't want/need to speak to the person anymore. I do this because I'm an impolite asshole who just doesn't give a f--- about other people. I'm German, which would explain it going by Third Reich standards, however the Kraut of today is very polite and will say "Hello" and "Goodbye" so you feel all tingly and warm inside. The only people I'm nice to on the phone are hot chicks and family members."
Monday Night Was Date Night For Luke And Holly
7:00pm - Luke pulls out his suit for the evening from an old U-haul box in the closet.
7:15pm - Luke tries in vein to get a few deep wrinkles out of the suit. The one at the crotch is especially stubborn.
7:30pm - Luke does some last minute confirming with Holly. He asks if she wants him to pick her up. Holly screams "NO!", remembering the permanent stain she got on the back of her dress the last time she sat in his van.
8:15pm - Holly arrives at Luke's pad. Debbie Gibson's Only In My Dreams greets her as she walks in. Holly immediately sprints to her car. Luke, not the most athletic of men, is able to catch up because Holly, while in a state of shock and fear, dropped her keys while attempting to unlock the car door. Luke persuades her to stick around.
9:45pm - Dinner at Johnny Rocket's on Melrose. Luke's effort to secure a table at the ultra-posh Dolce by blackmailing Ashton Kutcher with photoshopped pics of him and an underage male prostitute didn't work. So burgers and milkshakes it is.
10:15pm - Dancing at Arena. Luke is doing fine until he spots his former Rabbi getting a handjob from a big-tit blonde in a secluded corner booth. Luke's world crashes in on him.
11:00pm - Luke recovers at UCLA Medical Center from his panic attack. Holly is lovingly at his side. They agree to make it a Blockbuster night.
12:00pm - Holly's home. There's an argument over which movie to watch. Holly makes her case for The Dreamers. Luke is insistent on The Nun's Story. It's a deadlock, so they decide to have awkward sex instead.
Anyone notice these frightening similarities?
It's getting to where I can't tell Holly and Debbie apart.
........
So Holly invited me over for Chinese food. No thanks. I only want Chinese for sex and medicine.
I had my chocolate-banana-soy smoothie and five oranges while watching MNF. Then went by her hovel and she played a bunch of KCRW-type music. It killed my excitement. I found some INXS on her computer and rose to the occasion. But there were only four such songs, so it was a quiet night. She really is quite bigoted about my music, my hovel and my poverty (financial, musical, etc). Can't wait to meet the folks.
Helpful writes: "Don't squander your Levitras too fast now. Slow and steady. Slow and steady..."
Asia Carrera Wants Second Child Rather Than Porn Comeback
She writes on Asiacarrera.com:
A big thank you to everyone who emailed me with their 2 cents on my possible comeback. Everyone was very thoughtful and insightful, and I so appreciate that you guys took the time to help me sort out how I feel about it. I'd say the responses were about 85% yay, and 15% nay, with almost ALL of the 'nay' votes coming from foreign fans who think I should put Catty and family first. With the vast majority of the votes being very positive about a comeback, I started making some phone calls to LA and putting some wheels in motion. At first I was very excited about getting to be a star again, and I was all sorts of giddy about it. Then after a couple days, the reality of it started to set in. Moving back to LA, spending 12-18 hours away from Catty for days at a time, then being exhausted and stressed out when I got home, having to starve my butt off all the time and feeling weak and cranky because I'm always running on caffeine and no food... oh, and getting recognized whenever I leave the house. UGH! I really like having my anonymity back, and I really like how low stress my life is now, and I really like being able to eat whatever I want, and I really love dedicating my life to my little girl...
Summer Fantasee At World Modeling
Kelly X. Janilla Cream. Supreme Cream.
Missy Monroe Offered $1500 For An Internet Scene With One Guy
Another porn girl told her: "That's weird, Missy. Why, because you might get AIDS?"
Missy turned it down.
Rob Spallone Finally Calls Me Back
Since my Joey Abinanti thing, Rob's been avoiding my calls. He'd ordered me that night to take it down and I didn't listen to him. So the past few weeks, Rob hasn't been listening to me.
I heard Rob Spallone was living with a blonde porno chick.
I call him to see if it was true. He says, "No. You can talk to her."
I talk to her. She's a hairdresser. Rob walked in to get a haircut a few months ago and they've been together eversince.
Five minutes late, Rob calls me back. "Her feelings are hurt," he says. "You said she was a porno chick."
"Why haven't you been returning my calls?"
"Because I was mad at you. I told you."
"Let's hug it out."
"Ok."
"Why isn't Larry Flynt paying Russ Hampshire the money he owes him?"
"I can't tell you that."
"Just whisper it to me."
"Russ will get paid. Russ is a very smart businessman. He dots every I and crosses every T. Nobody in this business can say that Russ Hampshire didn't pay his bills."
"Was Russ trying to put something over on Larry?"
"No way. No how."
At 7:52pm, Rob leaves me this message. "Luke, pick up the phone. Have you lost your mind? Luke, you've got some crazy s--- up here today."
Muslim Whore Tells Orthodox Jews What To Do
Chaim Amalek writes:
I feel bad for her - her heart is in the right place, she wants to do what is right and moral, but the force with which she can act is compromised by a disorder over which she has only that measure of control as can be provided by modern medicine. Strip away the odd wording that this disorder imposes on her thoughts, and what she writes makes perfect sense. She is telling you to ditch the porn, or risk ending up on the hated side of history, win or lose.
The only tenable way for you to continue on your current path and make something of yourself is to marry or impregnate Holly, even though that would mean conceding certain critical points to the rabbenim of your world. (Once you are tied to Holly, there's no way you can say with a straight face that you continue to take your conversion seriously.)
And what are your intentions concerning Holly, other than fornication? Is she marriage material for you, notwithstanding her heartfelt atheism and commitment to the skin trades, or are you willing to see her as someone you might fall in love with, marry, and be with for the rest of your life? It would be a sin for you to treat her as you treated that other woman (J something.). Women are not toys.
It can't be the porn, because you are in the same trade as she and can live with it yourself. If she converted, but still worked taking split beaver shots for Hustler, would you be ok with her being the mother of your kid?
Please tell Heidi that I agree with what she says.
Heidi writes:
Please take this as a serious issue... Stop being and idiot and be a real man and stop looking at porn as my Yemeni girlfriend states to you guys.
No one will listen to me in my life and my job search with even my education to back me most horrible american male mentality says if you want a job I will give you one suck my dick.
Look for a hero out of this crowd when the other side says the opposite. Now as disenfrancised people are across the world race and gender unfairness becomes apparently clear but finding a different meaning under one cause.
I am trying to help the jewish community by pointing out nessisary warnings but how can I help them when they called me unloyal and also gave me the same job that means nothing but degregation.
IF there is going to be a moralistic presure coming on the nation to compete against it's competators then the Orthodox jewish community should compete so forget the hooker and porno websites and try to make yourselves as integral men. Stop complaining about crap and start doing something. I can help with certain aspects. I am not being a trying to be a discouragement to Islam and I am not trying to destroy jews or anything stupid like that but I am encouraging now the moral competition. In a religeous battle the nation of Jerry Springer won't win until the others start acting like they profess.
Please take my words seriously and tell the ones who care about it. I cannot build a team of any good men in my life when I can't find any who want to be good. It is really sad. Goodness does not come by not eating pork or blaming others it comes by actions of charity and kindness. This is what wins others. I know you are thinking in dispair what can I do but I am sure you are far more capible then you expect your situation to be. This is not a fight focussed on Jews against Muslims it will be a fight of Islam against Capitalism. They won't win over Jews against Muslims there is no telling but they might be able to win against the foundation of capitalism.
As I expressed Capitalism founded on Selfishness in my website and Islam for devotion to God. Depending on the hearts and mind of people what will win it. Also Who knows what will happen. Number two forget any gender war crap because devided you guys won't stand.
Okay Luke I am kicking you out my personal information for your endorsement of Leykis. You guys are on your own. I know you don't think I was serious about the threat of the Muslims taking over even though what I see as apparent is not important to you because good porn is.
A Couple Of Things
Holly Randall writes me:
1) You need to stop postings of yourself in your underthings. It looks unprofessional, and honestly, unattractive. There must be a thread of dignity in you somewhere.
2) Be nice. Why do you have to build your reputation on shredding others? You have enough redeeming qualities that don't demand a cruel streak.
3) Start eating meat, and don't pretend that being a "vegetarian" is a healthy mode of life. When a guy orders a tostada salad on the first date, and takes all the vegetables off and only eats the beans and cheese, and then tries to argue that he's eating "heathly" makes the BS alarm go off in my head.
4) Don't listen to me, because that would make you "whipped", and no girl wants that.
Cronyism is Alive and Well at LFP
The Hustler Tattler writes:
As reported by AVN.com, Hustler has hired a new webmaster to replace Al-ina Fiorante. Her replacement is Paul Johnson, who just happens to be related to Hustler Research Director/Assistant Managing Editor Mark Johnson. What a surprise!
Paul Johnson has no prevous adult entertainment experience which contradicts LFP HR drone Lyn Heller's ad on CraigsList requiring such work-related experience. Nor does Paul have experience interviewing porn stars, as Heller's ad required.
In contrast to Paul's easy ride in, Fiorante's rise to web editor was a tough one. She had to endure sexual discrimination by Hustler Editorial Director Bruce David, who had previously denied her the entertainment editor position (which went to Randy Habarek).
Mommy, Why Does Eddie Have To Die?
Somehow, I feel like Eddie W going to jail is my fault.
Why must he be crucified for our sins? If we believe in Eddie, can we attain salvation?
Luke 3:16: For Eddie so loveth the porn industry, that he sent himself to prison, so that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.
Why Is Babenet Trying To Get Back Into Porn?
They went broke a couple of years ago, owing people millions. Now Babenet principle Rob Gould (chubby redhead who looks like Alfred E. Neuman) shows up in Curacao last month to rub elbows with the same people he ripped off. Rob Gould is in the middle of this picture next to Greg Dumas (on the left).
Gary Kremen's Playboy Shoot
They shot him at his San Diego mansion Sunday for Michael Gross's article about the sex.com saga. "Gary's just such an animated guy," says a friend, "we were laughing so hard, we had to go back in the house. They asked for a smile and he gave them a smirk. They had him in a tuxedo. He looks like a geeky James Bond."
A Few Minutes Alone with Wicked Contract Girl Carmen Hart
If she had spent that time with me, she'd be singing a different tune.
Now that we've had our first IM, Holly and I have done everything a man and woman can do together.
LukeisBack: just eating lunch and doing column
LukeisBack: are we getting together tonight? I'll bring CDs. I want to
make love to you for the length of my Air Supply greatest hits CD...while
it plays in the background, then we will make our separate posts to XPT
about the experience.
HollyRandall: Oh no we won't....i had the strangest dream last night
HollyRandall: i dreamt that i was shooting joanna angel at my house
HollyRandall: and i was totally disorganized
HollyRandall: i'd forgotten to book assistants, my stylist
HollyRandall: i was shooting her in this crappy window in my living room
HollyRandall: and the male talent was Frank, her agent, who doesn't perform
HollyRandall: and i was feeling so unprofessional (as Dino Bravo would
call me) and very embarrassed
LukeisBack: i hug you
LukeisBack: Im watching Meet the Fokkers 2nd time
HollyRandall: 2nd time? It wasn't that good
LukeisBack: i want to be prepared for meeting your parents
HollyRandall: of course, my parents are just like the movie
HollyRandall: btw, are you out of your mind?
HollyRandall: But the young people? Who's raising them so that they feel
entitled to ask for cunnilingus? I fear that this is another example of
our society defining deviancy down at a time when we should be raising
moral standards, not lowering them.
HollyRandall: how is going down on a woman lowering moral standards?
HollyRandall: you better be kidding, buddy
LukeisBack: lol
HollyRandall: that's not an answer
HollyRandall: still not an answer...
LukeisBack: lunch
LukeisBack: eating out vag
HollyRandall: hahahahahaha
LukeisBack: veg
HollyRandall: you still haven't answered my question
LukeisBack: if you don't get the joke, i can't explain it
HollyRandall: well as long as it's a joke, i get it
HollyRandall: i still haven't got you figured out yet
LukeisBack: sheesh, ur so inquisitorial, like out of Meet the Fokkers
LukeisBack: i have doc's appt, we can angst later
LukeisBack: seeing my endocrinologist, checking out my hormones
LukeisBack: I've
been doing musical slimming exercises on the Santa Monica Beach while
listening to Debbie Gibson.
HollyRandall: well i hope your sperm is healthy
HollyRandall: ok, i gotta go edit
An hour later.
LukeisBack: Honey, I got AIDS. We're going to die.
Smiling Arab writes Luke on XPT: "If you're going to go the starving artist route, the bad haircut and holes in the knees of your jeans are only mildly attractive if you also seem dangerous. I admit that pulling out your bondage hoodie to the tune of Terry Jacks' "Seasons in the Sun" is creepy but you're just not going to come off as a literary outlaw with a soundtrack that makes Crosby Stills and Nash sound like bad-ass mothers."
Does Jim Kohls Work For Redlight District?
When I called Redlight at 818-678-6690, and asked for Jim Kohls, they put me through. I got voicemail with Jim's voice. I left a message.
I had posted earlier today that Jim worked at Redlight. That he oversaw their cable/satellite sales or something.
Then I checked with a source at Pulse, Jim Kohls' distribution company, and my source was adamant that Jim worked solely for Pulse and that Jim had never worked at Redlight.
So something's up.
A source writes: "Kohls doesn't work for RLD. Pulse rents office space in the new RLD/PXP building. They share a phone system. The RLD receptionist handles Pulse as well."
Who's Behind Defiance Films (l-keford.com)?
I heard Mallcom was a primary investor. I do know Jerry from Mallcom has been trying to get in on the gonzo game for a while to vertically integrate his retail business. I gotta believe Jerry is involved, granted all the contests and stuff they've done together.
What's The Difference Between Dealing With A British Pornographer And An American One?
Let's say I've equally libeled both and equally upset both. The odds are high that the British (or South African or Australian) one will be less likely to sue and more likely to see the humor in the situation.
"Come off it!" is the British phrase. The Brits don't go in for the earnestness and self-importance of many Americans. The Brits (and those from the British commonwealth) view Americans as suffering from an irony deficiency.
Brits (and Aussies et al) are just as interested in preserving their reputations and advancing their interests as Americans. They just do it with a lighter touch.
'Like Hearing Omar Sharif Ate Lunch At The Lamplighter'
That was one reaction I heard to the appearance of Academy Award winner Richard Dreyfuss at Porn Star Karaoke at Sardo's Bar.
Dreyfuss has been around porn for a long time. He brought Carrie Fisher to a Homegrown Video set about eight years ago.
Dreyfuss partnered with guys from a penis-enhancement company (possibly Herbal O).
"Maybe he was going on another Stakeout."
Miriam Datskovsky, Sex Columnist, The Columbia Spectator
The worst of it all is that my dad’s family, who are orthodox Jews, have no idea I write this column. I feel like I’m getting to the point where they’re going to find out or I’m going to have to tell them.
Because like many of you, I'm bored with reading sex and relationship advice from clueless young white women. It is high time that someone of color, or someone who is a man, assumed the position of dispenser of advice on sexual and relationship matters. We who have penises have something to say too, and women would do well to tune it. (But hey, if you would rather own a bunch of cats, just keep reading what spinsterish women have to say about us men.)
I hope that you will find this blog to be helpful, and to that end I intend to answer your questions on relationships and sexuality from the male point of view in a manner that provides you with useful, actionable information.
Now let's get down to business. You ask me a question via the comment section here or by writing to me, and I will answer.
Brad from Florida writes:
Dear Luke: I just want you to know that a whole bunch of us down here think you are a living g-d, the exemplar of what life can be for those unwilling to follow the crowd.
Here's a question that often comes up. You're dating this chick, and she's hot but not that hot, and she wants you to go down on her. I don't want to - that stuff just does not taste or smell right - but I don't want to hurt her feelings, either. What can I do to like, finesse the issue so she'll still want to have other kinds of sex with me? (I especially like it when she goes down on me. Yeah, I'm a pig, so sue me.)
In those situations, I go ahead and do it the first few times...and afterwards just when she asks. Most women will be too shy to ask you to do such a thing. But the young people? Who's raising them so that they feel entitled to ask for cunnilingus? I fear that this is another example of our society defining deviancy down at a time when we should be raising moral standards, not lowering them.
Former porn star Shelley Lubben shares her story with members of Valley Bible Fellowship
This is just another story about a teenager who didn't get along with her parents, left home and was lured into prostitution. Just another story about a street prostitute who became an escort, a stripper and a porn star. Another story about a porn star who caught an incurable STD, tried to commit suicide, then found God. A story about sex and salvation.
On Oct. 30, Shelley Lubben shared her story with about 100 female members of Valley Bible Fellowship. If she left any details out, we don't want to hear them. The tale was tragic -- and heroic -- enough.
Larry Flynt Vs. Russell Hampshire
This is mutually assured destruction. They both know enough dirt about the other that they are not going to take their dispute over LFP's alleged failure to live up to its agreement to buy VCA (Russ says Larry owes him money). Neither one of them wants this type of publicity.
(Former head of LFP Video) Mark Hamilton (with LFP's then-CEO Jim Kohls, a close friend of Russ's for more than 20 years) handled the deal for LFP to buy VCA, as well as the deal for the Hustler channel on Canada's Ten Broadcasting Inc.
A strange thing about big companies such as LFP and Redlight District is that they don't use a lot of lawyers for their documentation. They make a lot of stupid deals. Lucky for them so far, people are so afraid of their pull that they haven't taken big advantage of loosely-worded deals. Porners don't want to end up in a wheelchair.
Jon Dough did a deal with LFP. Then LFP didn't want to pay him anymore. Jon could've sued and won, but then Larry would've tried to blackball him.
I wonder why LFP doesn't litigate more. I can't think of any litigation they have going now.
"Mark Hamilton is a bright guy," says one who knows. "He understands wording. He understands how to put things in place that will benefit him and his company."
When LFP came in to buy VCA, they discovered that they could only have a non-exclusive internet right to VCA footage (because Internetfuel.com aka Babenet already had the rights). Internetfuel hasn't used their rights to VCA footage since Babenet went bankrupt in 2003 (and they are afraid of federal obscenity prosecution by the Republicans, Nolan Quan has already paid that price).
Larry may not have discovered until after the VCA sale that he could be spending $50,000 on a movie and the Internetfuel people could put it on the internet for 99c. That may have pissed Larry off and so he stopped payment to Russ.
Larry wants to control LFP and run it as a family business (Larry's relatives aren't always the best businesspeople) but they desperately need a high-quality CEO. They can't have a Mark Kramer sending out emails saying don't hire this girl. That stuff leaves them wide open to a lawsuit.
If Mark Hamilton made significant money off of LFP, how come he lived with his wife in a matchbox apartment in Santa Monica? He didn't seem to have an extra smile during those days let alone extra cash.
Babenet's principles have moved on from porn because they've burned all their bridges there. Though Rob Gould did show up to an industry gathering in Curacao. That took balls considering he owes people millions of dollars. Maybe the Babenet principles are getting back into porn?
Why did Jim Kohls resign from LFP? Kohls was LFP's President and ran the company for about two decades. Surely Kohls had learned enough at LFP to make much more money on his own. Maybe Larry asked Jim to sign a non-compete and Jim said, "That sounds great. Talk to my lawyer."
Hamilton quit LFP three weeks later and went into business with Kohls. Mark felt more loyalty to Jim (who brought Mark into LFP) than to Larry.
Starting their own company was the smartest move for Kohls and Hamilton. If they can run a cleaner, smaller, more efficient version of LFP, how can they not make money?
Jim is the dealmaker while Mark studies the contracts and does the heavy-lifting. Jim has more money.
Pulse Pictures (the production end of Jim and Mark's new company) has made a few movies and some of them have been released.
Larry Flynt was negotiating to buy Wicked Pictures at the same time as he was negotiating to buy VCA. Wicked owner Steve Orenstein was smart and refused to accept a long-term payment deal. He wanted his money upfront.
LFP's distribution deal with Vivid seems solid. Steve Hirsch gets an LFP guarantee that they indemnify him from the distribution. So if anyone gets sued to distributing obscenity, it will be LFP.
I hear Bill Asher (Vivid president) is a 50% owner of Vivid.
LFP tried to hire the president of Evil Angel (Chris, Nici Sterling's husband, a Cambridge law graduate)
Leigh Burch is better known as the developer of downtown projects, like the Sterchi Lofts, but a local writer is trying to tie him to the pornography business.
Sandra Lea, who wrote the book Whirlwind chronicling the rise and fall of Jake and C.H. Butcher’s banking empire, is working on a book about the sex industry in Knoxville. It is an outgrowth of her earlier book in which she says her research revealed C.H. Butcher Jr.’s involvement with the trade. In an article in a Clinton newspaper, Lea recently wrote that Burch moved to Knoxville from Atlanta and that he owned a building he rented to an Atlanta porn king named Michael Morrison to open a Knoxville adult book store, the Inserection Adult Fantasy Store on Broadway.
Burch replied to Lea’s inquiries with an e-mail pointing out that he sold the building. Lea contends he conveyed it a little over a year ago to Simon Cote, a vice president of Terminus Real Estate, Burch’s company. Burch says Cote is “no longer associated with Terminus Real Estate in any capacity” and that “this whole thing is a bunch of baloney.”
Porn distributor Edward Wedelstedt admits guilt in obscenity, tax fraud case
DALLAS - Goalie Entertainment owner Edward Wedelstedt pleaded guilty Friday in Dallas to a federal obscenity charge, agreeing to forfeit three adult bookstores in Texas to authorities as part of his plea agreement.
Wedelstedt admitted one count of distributing obscene material in exchange for a 13-month prison term and charges being dropped against his wife and their company, Goalie Entertainment Holdings, Inc., as part of the plea bargain.
Frank writes on Nina.com: "Why would someone, particularly someone with a successful going business (the implication from the reference that Goalie is one of the largest companies around in its field) want to enter a gulty plea on such charges? Why not fight the case?"
Ira Levine aka Ernest Greene responds:
Eddie did fight this case for a long time. He's been around forever and they've been out to get him for ever. But what appears to have happened is very similar to what happened back during the Meese era with then VCA owner Russ Hampshire. Russ was also prepared to go to trial, but when the feds indicted his wife and several employees, he took the hit rather than risk having them go to jail with him.
For what it's worth, Eddie's lawyers regard the deal he took as relatively acceptable, given the incredible list of charges filed against him. Industry insiders seem to think that both sides agreed on a compromise that satisfied neither rather than engage in an exhausting battle that would have carried greater costs for both.
In my own view, what happened in this case proves a point long recognized by industry veterans. The content of the material really isn't what matters in terms of prosecution. What Eddie was accused of selling, after all, was perfectly legal in most venues where he might have been tried. The decision to prosecute is more about who than what. Eddie is indeed a very successful businessman, one of the largest retailers in porn, and that's what made him a target. Hampshire's situation was very similar. What he was accused of distributing would be considered quite mild by today's standards, but he was the biggest producer of his time and therefore just the kind of trophy federal prosecutors love to bag.
At the level where these guys operate, it's an endless game of cat and mouse that goes on for decades. I can't even blame this one on Bush, as the feds had been on Eddie's case before he was even elected.
Still, I hate to see any obscenity conviction pled out, because the other side always claims it as a great victory, even if it's really just a draw.
Ethical Standards For Porners
David Aaron Clark writes on ADT:
Well, considering that with the influx of new male performers there seems to be MORE dick-injecting going on than when I entered the business -- which is one of the favored theories as to how Marc Wallice managed to infect some of his co-stars -- where does that leave the iv drug issue?
And no, as far as I know -- & considering my place in the industry, if I don't know about it, it sure isn't being put out there -- there has never been any actual attempt at drafting a statement of ethical standards for performers. Such a document would be, in fact, long overdue, & with the absence of any sort of performers' organization or group, I think it would fall on AIM to take the lead here. Can you hear me, Dr. Mitchell?
Of course, that the very term "ethical" would be foreign to most producers, agents & quite a few performers might be a stumbling block ...
Make Her Mrs Luke
Chaim Amalek writes:
This woman is destined to be the mother of your first born child, Luke. She's the woman who willingly picks you up and rescues you from your poverty as a writer and shame as a Jew by moving you into her home and ending your career as Levi ben Israel.
This woman is the first one Luke has ever known who I envied him for. Had he not gotten to her first, I'd have used my charms, all 420 pounds of them, to make her mine. She'd have spent Thursday and Friday floating above me, searching for the worm of happiness (which I've not seen in many a moon).
But seriously now, and speaking as a Jew - a real Jew - I fear what will happen if, God Forbid, Luke fails to close the deal here by impregnating her. This is a genuine branch point in his life, a chance for real happiness that I would have thought it too late for him to achieve. On the one hand, as I've been writing, Luke can know the joys of life that shall forever elude the likes of Fred, Marc, and myself (Jews all). He can live in great comfort between the thighs of a wonderful beauty of a woman; he can belong to a real community of people who are more like him than any he'd ever find among the alien semitic peoples of the world; he can find acceptance, economic security, fatherhood, respect. He can have it all.
On the other hand, if he is intent on using her as just another night sheet, if he blows it, he's very unlikely ever to get an equivalent break, and the bitterness within his heart will grow, taking the form of depression. Inevitably, this will turn Luke against us Jews, and the day will come when Luke will lash out in destructive anger in some sort of a book that will be destined to become an antisemitic classic. ("My Years Among the Jews and What I Learned From and About Them") Such a work will be especially painful for the vast numbers of Jewish refugees from radioactive Israel and Islamic Europe who are destined to settle in California to accept. I don't want this to happen. Any of it.
A photographer for Hustler may not be what Luke had in mind when he moved into his hovel and began haunting the temples of the moneychangers of Hollywood, but she's pretty goddamned good and most authentically Jewish men, were they lucky enough to stumble upon a woman as wonderful as she, would ditch this rabbi-serving torah crap in a hearbeat to seal the deal.
Luke, stop trying to impress people who don't want you or who would rather you be miserable than be happy. You and Holly would make the perfect couple. You two ARE the perfect couple. Treat her with respect, treat her with love to the extent that you are capable of showing it. Make her Mrs. Luke.
PS And she can keep a secret. After plying me with wine on Friday night, I spoke more than I ought have. She has not and I can guarantee will not tell Luke what I said.
Did LFP Do Due Diligence When It Bought VCA?
I was told that when LFP bought VCA during the due diligence period it was not disclosed that some of VCA's rights were already sold (to Babenet's Internetfuel).
Perhaps my readers know more?
There's been a big fight between Russell Hampshire and Larry Flynt over the past six months over Larry not paying Russell the agreed upon amount for VCA. Obviously Larry believes that he was ripped off in the VCA sale or he would've paid Russ what he promised.
A source writes: "It was very well known that Babenet Internetfuel owned rights to the internet for all VCA content including all new content being made now. This was negotiated because internet fuel owned the exclusive to the internet rights for VCA content. Now they share the rights with VCA/LFP. I do not believe Mark Hamilton got any money from this deal, but the guy is very smart and Jim Kohls was smart to hire him to do...the leg-work."
Kohls and Hamilton have their own distribution company (Pulse).
Suze Randall Confronts Drunk At Rolling Stone Concert Sunday Night At Hollywood Bowl
The guy was hitting on her daughter Holly. It resulted in a huge screaming match.
What Happened To That American Hardcore/Von Dutch/Flaunt Magazine Party Last Friday Night?
I was told that American Hardcore's T.J. DiReda was responsible for its cancellation because he was supposed to only be a silent sponsor.
XXX Porner told me: "Von Dutch was their main sponsor. T.J. does a press release on AVN. 'American Hardcore is throwing a porno party with Von Dutch and Ashton Kutchner and Paris Hilton. Flaunt was furious. 'Pull the press release down now.' AVN pulled the press release but Von Dutch had already seen it. They pull out of the party. They pulled their six-figure yearly advertising from the magazine, which cancelled the party."
XXX told me about various bad things T.J. did at Private.
I talk to T.J. DiReda Sunday night. He said he never worked at Private.
T.J.: "I've done tons of parties with Flaunt magazine and with Von Dutch. When Von Dutch pulled out, they came to me for the rest of the money."
T.J. received this email from Andrew Pogany at Flaunt:
Hey TJ— There's some serious issues: We really need money to put in the budget. This means we're willing to dispense with hiring any girls at all if that allows you to cut a $10k check. Unfortunately, at this juncture, 5k isn't gonna help us. Between me and you, the other sponsors are not putting in what we'd expected and the party is dangerously close to being killed. Obviously, it would be really unfortunate if that happened. But if we cant generate enough funds to simply cover overhead costs than we can't do it. Can you pull dough from somewhere? I can throw an AH link on the website to sweeten the deal...maybe work out some cross-promo web-based stuff for the future? I don't know if that helps, but this party SHOULD happen. Can we work it out?
T.J.: "When the Tom Sizemore/Paris thing came up on AVN, and Tom Sizemore's people tried to establish that they did have some kind of relationship, I was told that Paris was very upset, and that added to the situation."
Luke: "I heard Von Dutch pulled out because you went public about your sponsorship of the party?"
T.J.: "I've done parties with Von Dutch before. I did something in Vegas with Michael Ninn [and Von Dutch]. There would be no up-side to our being a silent sponsor. I'm a marketing guy. Everything we've done we've done for the sake of aligning ourselves or promoting something.
![I did something in Vegas with Michael Ninn [and Von Dutch].](/images/images/vegasxmas.jpg){kind=link}
"Luis Barajas [co-owner of Flaunt with his boyfriend Jim] is a good friend of mine. We did the opening of the Mandalay pool. We did a big Vivid Halloween party with The Firm [in 2002], which was written up in The LA Times.
"When I got into Adult, the first person I thought of who gets it and can put a style spin on it and take chances was Luis and his boyfriend Jim."
And there's even more to love about her at LadyBugsLove.com. Here she is in August 2000.
Porn Star Karaoke Ripped In Avalon Apartment Review
DO YOU WANT PORN IN YOUR BACKYARD? Avalon and its greedy REIT corporation is so mired in presenting a good image while selling substandard and poorly managed units its appauling. The neighborhood is ok EXCEPT for the tenants; they are loud, with LOTS of barking dogs(complete with dog feces in the parkways) screaming children, and serious alcohol or drug abuse that goes on in the courtyards all day and night. Management does not care how many guests a tenant may have and parties outside your window with speakers and screaming visitors will plague you weekly. Imagine 50 people singing on a microphone while you are trying to sleep.
...[P]eople flee when they hear all the dogs barking(over the 20 lb rule)the drunken tenants and their "starstruck" child actor children who hold auditions in the courtyards, singing songs from "Annie" and their fat, rude parents yelling at them in a drunken state "LOUDER, Michalangelo Antonio Carbonara!, Louder!" and the use of some units by tenants as daycare; with 8 to 12 toddlers running aimlessly in and out of the apt. with toys strewn all over the complex walks.
Only when they start getting hit in the pocketbook will they realize what slumlords they are and fire the useless management team, who is probably more concerned with going to Porn Star Karaoke every tuesday night at Sardo's Restaurant across from the leasing office where drunken porn stars are getting naked in the parking lot at 2 AM, than helping tenants. Do you want to step in vomit while getting out of your car to shop at Vons knowing it was from porn stars hurling the night before? Go to www.karaokewhore.com if you want to confirm that porn is one of the main events near Avalon's "media center." For all that it is, AVALON is the worst toilet I have EVER experienced.
PS. if you intend to subject yourself to such pain, wear shoes in the pool due to broken glass, bring earplugs for all the noise, a respirator for your mold and asbestos ridden apartment, a shotgun for personal protection, and expect your bathtub to stand full for hours from poor drainage while you either freeze or bake in your overpriced "luxury" dump that was build in 1963, full of asbestos, mold and other toxics, and never upgraded sans new paint and some nifty lemonade and cookies at the leasing office. If you have a family, do you want them exposed to porn stars flashing in the parking lot across from Avalon's leasing offce at Sardos while you do your shopping?
The last "DE BLOND" car has died
Brandy Alexandre writes:
It last appeared on video in the 1992 video "Best Butt(e) in the West." Someone plowed into me while engrossed in a cell phone conversation. It's actually the third time I've been hit by an idiot who thinks they drive just fine while yapping, but this was the killer for the car. It was a 1991 Civic Hatchback, if anyone remembers, and many people in the last few years have asked me if I wanted to sell it. Now it has a salvage title and netted me a mere $1500 opposed to the $2500 I could have gotten, or more, in a private party sale. But news is not all bad.
I was injured just enough for the idiot to buy my a brand new 2006 Civic Coupe. Wow! That car is SWEET! :) If you can believe it, he complained that I went against my word to not go to his insurance. Well, he f---ed up. Now he will pay an at-fault surcharge for five years and I get the new car with higher insurance because I have to add comp and collision. Poor baby.
I really send this as a caveat to your readers who likewise think there's nothing wrong with their driving when they're yapping on the phone. THERE IS! Aside from the three times I've been hit in the past two years, my driving skill has evaded a dozen other potential collisions. So shut the f--- up and drive!!! Trust me, when this car starts to go downhill, I'll find you, and I'll drive in front of or behind you, and I'll just wait...
Shane Diesel - Jessica Dee Update
Jessica tested HIV-positive in the Spring of 2004. Shane is her man. He's continued to work in porn.
I called Shane Friday. He's yet to return my call.
I think it would be very wrong and disrespectful of a performer to still continue to work in this business and have unprotected sex with co workers if that person is involved with a HIV + partner. I remember a situation where a female performer and a good friend of mine called me very upset and crying about it because she had just shot a scene with Shane and now was very afraid, she couln't put her mind to a rest for a while. I think it is not very nice of someone to leave everybody in this business in the dark and cause so much trouble and tears. I'm only speaking business here. I don't judge people on a personal level and I don't care what they do with their lifes. But it's not right to put others at risk or make them worry so much. I don't know for sure what's going on there. But the fact that Shane has never come out and said it wasn't true gives me enough reason to not work with him. Besides the health risk I would be way too worried to give a good scene.
She writes me:
I was abandonned by my parents raised by Saudi's then I went to Yemen Engaged to the enemy of George Bush and Ray Hunt. THen I was tourchured and beaten by a Palistian paid for by the US government. THen I ended up in Jewish HOllywood where I was put into porn and violently f---ed by US military Marines in a degraded way on Camera to show the world. With no regard to the fact that my family is superior and they are degrading a niece of a senator [Dick Durbin]... But my selfish family left me to the sharks. Then they said they were going to f--- me in the ass so I ran away back to the arabs that treated me much better for my safety and solitude. Then I find thier plan of world domination. And now If I had just joined the Feminist Lesbian Separtist group I would of been much better off.
Porn Performance Extends Your Life
Voltaire Jones writes:
I'm no actuary, but it seems to me that porn performers live longer than other people. IAFD.com lists 39,000 performers. The list starts in the early 1970s, so there is about 30 years of cumulative names. Let's say only 8000 of the "stars" did enough movies that we consider them noteworthy and we would hear of their early death. The iafd list and the luke list have trouble naming more than about 80 people for that entire time. A few of the noteworthy stars did die in noteworthy ways, so we tend to remember them... but they were partially noteworthy for their recklessness and unpredictability, and were at higher risk to begin with.
I bet if you ran an actuarial table, 80 deaths out of 8000 people for all causes over an average period of ages 25-40 (figuring 15 years avg history and 25 years avg age at first performance) or 1% would not be considered a bad average. Anyone who's attended a 20th High School reunion has probably noticed about 1 person dead out of 100 for their senior class. Car wrecks, alcoholism, suicide... the same stuff that we see on Luke's Dead Porn Stars section.
I'm kidding about porn extending your lifespan, but I really do think that the argument that the wages of porn are death does not hold water if you do any statistical analysis. It's a story the press and the religious dearly want to be true, and go out of their way to look for. But, like the average football player, I think the average porn guy or girl does it for a few years for whatever reasons and moves on and adopts a lower-risk lifestyle by age 30. And then lives as long as any other person.
Smoking Fetish
Kelly Allen writes:
The next time, someone makes a remark about YOUR liking the smoking pictures, kindly refer him to www.smokesigs.com or tell him to do a search under "smoking glamour," where he will discover the simple fact that MILLIONS of men get a sexual"charge," out of seeing attractive women smoke, By and large, our "smokerhood" falls into two groups.
The first group, of which I am a charter member, received our "smoke-wash" indoctrination, from so many "steamy" Hollywood films, in the 40's, 50's and early 60's, which ALWAYS featured some, sultry, SMOKING glamour film character, For anyone, growing up in that two decade and a half span, smoking was EVERYWHERE, and the sexual aspect of so-called "glamour smoking" was widely exploited, not only by Hollywood, but by television advertising as well. As, I will bet, you are a student of old-time Hollywood memorabilia, I don't have to remind you of "countless" movie slick posters, featuring some glamorous movie star, dangling a cigarette, between her luscious, painted lips.
Thus, this "smoke/brain wash" was extremely successful, for the CORE GROUP of our smokerhood, "baby boomers, of WWII, and a few years after. Now, for the second group of smoke fetishist---The YOUNG BLOODERS, so-to-speak. These, are the men, who all their lives, have lived in a repressive, anti-smoking environment, in this country. If American History, has taught us anything, it is that Americans, repel when they are told, they can't do something. Thus, as a counter reaction to the plethora of smoking "taboos" in the US of A, we now have a HUGE number of younger men, with the smoking fetish, many of whom, btw, are non-smokers themselves, as farther proof of the "anti" pressures, they faced as teens. Luke, I'm not just "whistling Dixie, with this background info. It has been "gleaned" from countless exchanges on internet forums and chat rooms with fellow fetishist. I might add, I have also personally visited, one-on-one with a GREAT many adult film stars over the years, enjoying their company over drinks, between feature dance sets. Naturally, I requested smoking scenes, in their future films.
FAR TOO OFTEN, I got the answer, that most directors, did not allow smoking on their sets. I REALLY WISH, that somehow, you, in your visits with adult film directors out there, could point out, the ENORMITY of our fetish. Main-stream Hollywood, has exploited the smokehood, for decades, the "steam stream," almost NEVER. Even, in behind the scene segments, so popular with dvds nowadays, and where, female smoking scenes could be so candid, and naturally sexy to our smokerhood, NADA!!
The Final Solution
Through my studies of the Holocaust, I've learned the importance of forming special friends among the Gentiles. I've already established several safe houses around LA where I've stored an extra toothbrush and a change of underwear. I spend alternate nights at different homes so I'll be prepared for the pogroms.
Chaim Amalek writes:
I predict that Holly is the one to bring Luke's carefree bachelor days - and his infatuation with Judaism - to an end. She's just too perfect a fit for him for Luke to blow her off. She's smart, tall, naturally blonde, has exactly the sort of serious family ties Luke needs and she's willing (and financially able) to take care of the guy till his death due to old age parts them. Oh, and she's freakin' GORGEOUS (and more). Luke's Jewish shtick is going to come to an end within 11 months, as the opportunity to become a father will count for more with him than this endless Jewish nonsense.
It's for the best, Luke. Judaism does not demand of you that you be a Jew, and you never were totally accepted as one anyway. Also, she can lead you into the state of grace in which you accept yourself for who you are. Accept the gifts that Holly stands ready to offer you, and return to the land of men. I look forward to your non-rabbinically sanctioned wedding. (I expect to be named Godfather.)
Seriously folks, I've met this woman, and SHE IS PERFECT FOR LUKE. That's not to say that he is perfect for her - far from it. But hell, Luke can have the best of both worlds simply by impregnating her, living with her, and still pretending to be Jewish on the side. It should prove to be no more difficult keeping her hidden from the rabbis than it has proven to be difficult for him to keep.... So long as he does not rub it in anyone's face, it can work. I just hope that Luke realizes that at age 39, he's not going to be getting many more chances in life as good as this one.
I'm an optimist on this. Thanks to the many miracles of modern pharmacology, I am confident that Luke will step up to the plate and aim for the stands.
You Gentiles Needn't Worry, But Chaim Amalek is Another Story
When the s--- hits the fan and the Larry Davids and the Paul Fishbeins of the world are paraded through the streets of America on their way to being horsewhipped and dispatched by the Cossacks (shvartzes led by Muslims?), it won't be you, L-ke F-rd, who is forced to clean the streets of Burbank with his toothbrush. Your gentile goyishe looks and your gentile name and your gentile genes will serve to keep you safe. Nobody will even think to accuse you of being a Jew because, in fact, you are not one of us. No sir, you will be safe in your fancy Malibu home, writing your 23rd self published book, surrounded by all your tow-headed children and thanking your good fate to have gotten out at the most propitious time. No sir, it will be the Chaim Amaleks of the world who will tremble with fear. Cursed with a face like the map of Israel and a rotund body that is incapable of outrunning any antisemite, it is I and people like me who will pay the price for the social chaos that your libertine friends have helped create. Although I marched in Selma when I was young and fought for equal rights for Muslim and Mexican alike, I may well be destined to share the fate that awaits the white farmers of Rhodesia.
Khunrum writes: "Not to mention vanity surgery...Luke is in dire need of liposuction. He may want to consider a pec lift while he's at it."
Chaim writes: "I don't agree. Whatever he's got going on, it is good enough for Holly. And that's plenty good enough."
Helpful writes: "Luke's ample bossom gives her the feel of being with another woman without violating the Torah's ban on homosexuality."
Fred asks: "Since Holly is the daughter of a porn photographer, is she more, how shall I say this, adventurous than typical young ladies that you have encountered?"
Khunrum writes: "Ms Holly already agreed to listen to Luke's Air Supply CDs. A rare gem that girl. Will do anything for her man it seems."
Helpful writes:
Finally, a family that Luke can sit down at the dinner table and talk shop without the fear rejection that he usually receives. A family that recognizes the acronyms and jargon of the porn world. Remember Luke when you'd snicker when a girlfriend said she was going for a "facial" or called a Dr. Pepper a "D.P."? She's the one. Accept it. 'Tis fate.
I have no doubt that Luke could charm the hot pink panties off her lythe frame, however, when Luke disrobes the fact remains he has moobs (man boobs). This might shock a naive 22 year old. My advice to Luke:
1) dim lighting creates a romantic mood and stealths your titties
2) keep your shirt on at all times (even during post coital showers)
3) tell her you are a trannieNow go forth and conquer!!
How's this for an ad targeting baby boomers. Using Air Supply's "I'm All Out of Love" as the new jingle for Levitra? Could work.
Arise, Ye Victims of Oppression, Ye Wretched of the Earth
Chaim Amalek writes:
I know I'm not the only one who feels a measure of schadenfreude over the recent doings of riotous Muslim males across the whole of France. More than any other people, the elites of France have bought into the delusion that their natural culture, even as they consciously attenuate it with their silly dreams of multiculturalism, can make good western liberals of a demographically significant mass of different-looking people who follow a faith that has never known any enlightenment or reformation or renaissance. I just hope this continues without letup, so that the French are compelled to face their future starting now. It may be too late to save France (or the UK or Belgium or the Netherlands), but it isn't too late for the Germans, Italians and Poles to learn from the lessons Islam is teaching the French. And so, to the disaffected Muslim males of France, I say: "Arise, ye victims of oppression, ye wretched of the earth."
AMALEK at the Movies
I saw Marc Levin's documentary "Protocols" the other day, and found it to be whiny, self-absorbed, and often clueless. In seeking to determine the origin of the sort of Jew-hatred that has animated such vehicles for antisemitism as The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion (of whom, yes, I am one. Levi, we missed you at our last meeting), Levin serves mainly to further stereotypes of Jews as hypocritical leftists whom the goyim do well not to trust.
The political tone of the movie is set when Levin begins with a visit to his father's house. We see, hanging on a wall, a poster extolling Che Guevara, and then hear Pops declare that he's been an atheist since at age ten he got the crap beaten out of him by religious, Catholic neighborhood kids. (A strong thread of Catholic bashing runs through this movie.) We learn that Father and Son are just Jewish in the cultural sense defined by Hollywood types, which is to say that they are genetic Jews who have long since divorced themselves from the Torah non-genetic Jews like L-ke F-rd hold so dear.
There are lots of taking heads in this movie, Christian and Jew and Muslim. The Christians come across as the most philosemitic of the bunch (certainly more so than Pops), and the Muslims the most honest in stating what the believe.
As for the Jews . . . . all I can say is oy vey. First we see scenes from Nazi propaganda films like "The Eternal Jew", and then are treated to an interview with ADL head Abraham Foxman to explain what we have just seen. In profile, Foxman looks just like one of the caricatures of the hook-nosed, stunted Eternal Jew we've just seen in cartoon form in the Nazi propaganda reel. (Would that the Juden come to their senses, and hired someone with Aryan genes in them to be their spokesman! Luke, you would be ideal for this, if not for you involvement with the skin trades.)
Then Levin cuts to interviews with ordinary Jews at New York's large Downtown Passover Seder. First he interviews a trannie Jew who comments that although he is wealthy, he always cleans his own toilets because he believes "we all need to smell our own shit." Then he finds a young hipsterish looking Jew to declare that the main reason the goyim hate Jews is that Jews don't approve of things like national borders. I'll bet that the average intelligent gentile watching this movie is going to think "But you believe in secure national borders for YOUR homeland, the Jewish State of Israel, don't you? So aren't you Jews just declaring that only YOU have the right to such borders?"
This is a movie that stupidly provides ammunition for antisemitism. The movie does have its funny spots, such as when Levin tries to get some of the Hollywood Gedolim to appear together to discuss the power of Jews in Hollywood, and finds that none of them can find the time. (Larry David urges him to call Rob Reiner, who tells him to call Norman Lear, who suggests he might do better speaking with Larry David.) But then it falls back to Old Faithful, a scene with a Holocaust survivor who is used to make some sort of point that I was not quite able to figure out, other than "we suffered, so you goyim should like us."
Luke, with such clueless, out of touch Jews as Mark Levin and Larry David running things for us, our days in power here are numbered. The time has come for a few tens of thousands of us to make the move to China. I hear that there are very few Muslims in China.
Blogger.com Deleting Porn Blogs?
Jennifer Rosenblatt Settles With AVN
It was going to get ugly but things got settled amicably.
Chasey Lain Exhibit
Kolja writes:
I own an Art-Gallery in Germany and want to organize a big exhibition-project with young, funny and of course very successfull artists (Kristian von Hornsleth (www.Hornsleth.com), Carsten Weitzmann and more) with Chasey Lain as the Theme. Working Title is "Chasey Lain is your friend." All Artists will make Artworks with or about Chasey. I dont want to blabla too much, but the idea is something with Chasey Lain being somewhat of an american metaphorical icon. More or less. I attach a Painting of Weitzmann, so youll get an idea. My Question: Is there any chance of getting in touch with Chasey herself (or some middleman for that matter) to see if she might be interested to take part in this project? Will she mind becoming even more of an Art-Project...?