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Wednesday, October 5, 2005

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Dear Men of Craig's List:

The membership of the National Federated Union of Porn Stars wishes to register an official complaint and related Cease and Desist request. Your incessant searching for a "girl who f---s like a porn star," the somewhat similar "girl who sucks dick like a porn star," and the unending fake posts regaling how "she took my spewing cum all over her face like a porn star" are interfering with the conduct of business in the legitimate porn industry. A recent study concluded that the prevalence of these requests and reports have in fact begun to convince a startling proportion of otherwise normal women that they should and must behave like porn stars. This is still a trend in its infancy but gentleman, should this phenomenon reach critical mass we, the real porn stars of America, will be shit out of luck, not to mention jobs.

Evidence to support the emergence of this trend include but are not limited to:

1. Brazilian wax "technicians" report a 5,000% increase in business over the last year. This flies in the face of reason and we cannot understand why so many otherwise normal women are paying someone to mercilessly rip out their pubic hair with hot wax. We are here to tell you that being bound and gagged while having a complete stranger shoot cum all over our faces while being f---ed up the ass by another stranger is a goddamned walk in the park compared to the pain and humiliation of kneeling on a paper covered table on all fours in a closet sized "salon" room while an uppity bitch clucks disapprovingly while ripping the hair from your asshole with hot wax. And while we, the porn stars of America, get paid to do both of these things, your girlfriends do not.

2. Speaking of ass f---ing… Now guys, we know you love the ass f---ing. Love to see it, love to think about it, and you love to pretend that you are doing it. But consider for a moment what the world will be like if all the normal women out there catch the "porn star fever" that is beginning to spread and begin ass f---ing as a matter of course. Sure, you may enjoy that now but how will you feel when, as you start to lose your hair and thicken around the middle you finally settle down and get married? You will then be all but guaranteed to wed someone who has ass f---ed every man she has ever dated. Do you want to live in that world? We didn't think so. Please, for the love of God leave the ass f---ing to the real porn stars of America.

3. Fake Boobs. All us porn stars have them. It's pretty much a prerequisite for the job of American porn star. We understand your primal fixations and we are not going to bother you by over thinking them. We are here to meet every one of your infantile `I want to suck my mommy's tit' unexamined needs. And we'll even do it while we're shoving our hairless assholes around some strangers cock. But your girlfriends are all caught up in the spreading "porn star fever" and are now seeking breast augmentation at alarming rates. Seriously, how sexy is it going to be when you have to take your future wife, who has been f---ed up the ass by every man she ever dated, to the hospital to remove her ruptured and toxic fake boob? Leave the fake boobs to us and appreciate your woman's normal gorgeous tits.

Look guys, the real porn stars of America have always been there for you. And we want that relationship to continue. We all know that even if this ill-considered craze overtakes the nation that most of you will still be sitting at home alone stroking one out night after night. And let's be honest, you need us for that. And in a very real way, you need us to be different from the women that you work with, different from women you are neighbors with, play pub trivia games with and yes, you need us to be different from the women you date and f---. Our value is linked to the fact that we do things that normal women don't do. Our value is also inextricably linked to the fact that you will never f--- us. So you can see how turning all these normal women into pseudo porn stars kinda ruins it for everyone. So please, do your part to stop the "porn star fever" from spreading. Tell your woman you love her tits and her pussy just the way they are and then f--- her, but not up the ass, until she cries and begs for mercy. Let's keep the earth on its right and proper axis and keep the porn stars of America on the Internet and the real women in your bed, if you're lucky.

Thank you, The membership of the National Federated Union of Porn Stars

Art & Porn

T.J. DiReda writes:

Cognitive reasoning and physical desire define art and porn. Porn can be intellectually stimulating if someone approaches it with a curious mind with regard to a humans psychology or what triggers a humans pathology. But intent of pornography is what also defines the intimacy or lack of between the artist and the subjective viewer. The intent of pornographers is to trigger sexual emotion and not cog native reaction, which are those of artists. Art can be described as the sexual encounter with emotion and thinking while pornography is the sexual encounter with detachment and no thought.

The closet form of artistic pornography is best described as erotica and has become its own idea and concept that is the bridge between art and porn.

Pornography is more of a craft and as the people in it study human nature and its response to color, shapes and motions it adapts and evolves to trigger reactions in the consumer. There is creative merit in this process but the intent is for pysical response and not analysis.

Porn, Art, Subculture, and Other Words That Don’t Go Together

Ira Levine: Porn Sunday, Never trusted these guys a minute

He writes on Nina.com:

For some time now, members of the so-called XXX Church have been hanging around the industry, going to industry functions like AdultEx and making generalized statements of Christian love toward us all. They've claimed not to be enemies of porn people, but rather "good" Christians seeking to minister to our spiritual needs. Yeah, right. The fact that they've managed to slick a few gullible members of our community into associating themselves with these dubious efforts, and even gotten an industry vet who should have known better to cooperate in the making of a "public service" spot urging parents to hide their smut from their children. But their real motivations, suspect all along in my view, are pretty clear at this point:

Warning About Mandy Malone

Francisco Mercado wrote:

The whole thing started early this summer. Mandy Malone and I were having conversations about her coming to New Orleans for a visit. We finally agreed on her coming to see me, the third weekend of June. We agreed upon 2 hrs at $1500. Mandy wanted me to make a deposit to confirm the trip. I agreed to it. I have no problem in making the deposit. A couple of days later, I transfer $700 from account to hers. This is where the problems started. On the plan weekend, she was supposed to see me; a hurricane was heading towards New Orleans. I proceed to call Mandy and warn her about the hurricane. I felt it was my duty to tell her. Because of the hurricane, Mandy was stuck in Dallas. We had to reschedule the weekend. I had no problem with that, I understood. Mandy and I sent her countless of emails about rescheduling our weekend. We kind of agree to a weekend in September. Because of Hurricane Katrina, it is not going to happen. I have been trying to get in contact with her about maybe rescheduling or giving me my money back. She has not responded to none of my emails. By this time, I am getting pretty upset. I decided to give her another chance. So, I heard she was going to be in NYC. I emailed her in an attempt to fix the problem. I said while you are in NYC, I will see you for an hour, which would cover the deposit. I felt that this was a good compromise. As of today, I have heard no response. I really do not know what else, I am going to do. The reason why I am writing this is to warn, you other hobbyists out there.

Ed writes:

I know you have better things to write about than Johns and Hookers but consider doing this as a public service . ANYONE WHO PAYS A HUGE DEPOSIT UPFRONT IS A DAMNED FOOL. The deposit should be no more than 10 percent and be considered a token of good faith. If you give a huge deposit and the person or persons doesn't show up then you have no recourse but to scream on some website about how some bitch or bastard has done your dumbass wrong. So before some of you start thinking with something other than your brains about the "Pornstar Experiance" consider the type of person you're doing business with. Someone who probably doesn't give a f--k , on some type of drug, notoriously unreliable, too lazy to get a real job, and has no sense of business other than "Gee I guess I got over on that fool".

The rise of a premiumporn producer

Joshua Chaffin writes:

Posing behind the velvet rope in the VIP section at a Manhattan nightclub, where she was surrounded by bottles of champagne and a gaggle of admiring fans and photographers, Savanna Samson looked like any other starlet at a glitzy film release party.

With an excited tone in her voice, Ms Samson said that she had a feeling that the film would be special when she was making it - maybe even a classic - but that her suspicions were only confirmed the night before, when she finally saw the finished cut.

Taylor St. Claire Update

TSCfan317 writes on ADT:

Did she ever leave? Yes. Shortly after the release of Fashionistas she announced her semi-retirement in an interview with Scott Fayner at l-keford.com. She moved out of her home in porn valley and made the decision to go back to being g/g-only, working in such scenes whenever she actually wanted to instead of needed to. The reasoning she cited for this decision was a growing concern with the direction the adult film industry was heading, both in health risks (remember, when she performed creampies were still very rarely done) and product being produced (new girls, new girls, new girls!).

That all said, she never really took a break from her work in the fetish industry, both as on-screen performer and private dominatrix.

-Will she ever come back?

Taylor's been telling me for over a year now that she was going to start doing boy/girl scenes again. It hasn't happened yet and I haven't heard from her in around 3 months.

Where's The Art In Porn?

Calvin Tomkins wrote in The New Yorker in 1993:

Of all the minor art forms, pornography has remained the least developed. Certified pornographic masterworks, from Sappho to Nabokov, can be counted on the fingers of one hand. The best-known critical theorists of the form, from Anthony Comstock to Jesse Helms, have had the disadvantage of being morons. The National Endowment for the Arts supports pornographic experiment unwillingly, at best, and our popular culture contents itself with unimaginative increases in the gross annual depiction of bare skin and earnest copulation.

Peter McWilliams wrote in 1993: "Violence has its artists -- Sam Peckinpah, Francis Ford Coppola, Ridley Scott. Where are pornography's artists? Twenty years ago, Deep Throat got publicity just because it had a plot. What have we got today? Mapplethorpe and Madonna?"

Are we any better off, pornographically, than those benighted times 12 years ago?

Grant Michaels writes:

I was interested to read Calvin Tomkins and Peter McWilliams questioning the lack of art in modern pornography. They were valid questions in my thinking. Maybe It's just the artistic side of me coming out but I certainly don't think Meatholes and Pissmops will ever qualify as "art"? While I respect that this genre of porn obviously has a huge market what about the market at the other end of the scale? It seems to be a neglected market?

Which brings me to an interesting project I was lucky enough to be involved with in May. Dutch artist Philip Mond apparently made an artsy porn movie in the mid 90's called "Zazel" which apparently won many awards. (I tried to order a copy but everyone seems sold out). Mond did his latest project called "Insexts" (twist on the words Insects and sex). As male talent it was an experience I'll never forget! Words will never do justice to this movie so I hope the finished product is released soon. It's simply a visual overload! Philip Mond doesn't even like to call his work "porn". It's more "reformed erotica". The movie will have a coffee table book to accompany it and no doubt will have mainstream crossover appeal.

The Girls Next Door

Eric Mittleman (a producer at Playboy TV for nine years who's now producing the E! show Kill Reality) calls me back Sunday afternoon, October 2, 2005, to talk about the Hugh Hefner reality show on E! -- The Girls Next Door.

Eric has seen four episodes. "To do a reality show on Hugh Hefner's life is kind of a contradiction in terms because his life is so unreal.

"It was bold of him to do it.

"I find the show entertaining. The mansion was way different when I was working at Playboy. Obviously they are only showing the fun side of things there. There are things that seem contrived, like in any reality show, such as when Bobby Benton came to visit.

"Having said so many negative things in the past about Playboy, and having put some distance between myself and my experience there, I've regretted a lot of things I've said. You really can't say anything bad about Hef. He's a generous guy. He gave the world this wonderful gift of nice girls like sex too.

"I'm looking at the show wanting to like it, as opposed to looking at the show wanting to hate it, as many people do.

"I went to the mansion dozens of times, but aside from half a dozen occasions, I was there as the help, producing and directing shows. It's way different going there as a guest. Once you take the performance aspect out of it, it's a cool place."

Luke: "How would you do the show differently if you were producing it?"

Eric: "More well-rounded Hef. The producers of the show probably have the dilemma that this guy is the [titular] head of this multi-million dollar empire and his time is going to be limited and what he wants to expose to the world.

"One of my best experiences with Hef was when I produced Comic Book: The Movie, directed by Mark Hamill. Hef did a cameo for Mark, which he was wonderful in. There was no talk of naked women or sex. Just purely a scene where he was talking about comic books. He really came alive in a way that I've never seen him come alive before.

"For the past half century, he's been able to have sex with the most beautiful women on the planet. That is a super power that none of us will ever possess. Superman thinks nothing about flying. Hef thinks nothing about snapping his fingers and having sex with a bunch of beautiful women."

Luke: "The show's had overwhelmingly horrible reviews."

Eric: "I can see why the world wouldn't like it, but I know there's more to the mansion and more to Hef and more to Playboy than what they're showing to the world."

Luke: "It's impossible to sell because it's inherently creepy to have this old man leching off these young women."

Eric: "It's creepy but it's nothing new. It's existed back to the time of kings and emperors and cavemen. I turned 40 a couple of years ago. You hope that at 70 you have that same ability. What's a little creepy about the show, what I would do differently about the show, is that I don't see the real bond of intimacy between him and the girlfriends. It does seem like they are there for show. We know that circumstance and greed breed a different type of love, which is what we see on the show. We're not seeing what lies beneath and where that true affection is. We're seeing unnatural relationships. Married porn stars have always been a mystery to me. Marriage is supposed to be about monogamy."

Luke: "Hefner has the bond of intimacy with the girls that an old man has with young women he pays to have sex with. It's a hooker-john relationship."

Eric: "If that is the bond, that should be explored and celebrated. When people hide from things, that's when the audience turns on them, which might be happening with the show. Whatever that relationship is, whether it is hooker-john, the father they never had, any of the stereotypes, that bond needs to be more openly explored and embraced by the participants on the show.

"Based on my experience with Playboy and Hef, I don't think that's a bond that would ever be explored openly. I don't think anyone looks down on Charlie Sheen for admitting he abused Heidi Fleiss's services. This is a different flavor of that type of relationship.

"A couple of years ago, Hef sold 2% of his stock and got $50 million. I don't know what I would do if I could get $50 million. I'd probably go nuts. I'd probably take you to Vegas and go to Smokers. How different is that from Hef?

"I've never heard a bad word about Hef from those who knew him best. The guy's carved out his own world (which he thrives in and has warped his perceptions) which might be why the show hasn't synced with its audience. He really hasn't been in the world in the last 30 years. The girls are not really in touch with the world either. They're one step from dumb. Surrounding yourself with women like that... The best part of leaving Playboy was becoming friends with smart women who do not look like Playmates. Some of them are plain-looking. I'm plain-looking. That's my position in the world.

"The aspect of nudity and being on the softer end of the sex business alienates a lot of people.

"Hef is smart. He does a disservice to himself by not surrounding himself with smart women like he did in the 70s. If you look at the magazine in the 70s, it had all the celebrated intellectuals. Now it is all pop culture, and not even the luminaries of pop culture. It's bubblegum."

The Girls Next Door

Ray Richmond writes in the Hollywood Reporter:

What's potentially most interesting here is what isn't shown or discussed -- namely, what their true physical relationship is with Hefner and whether this really is the big happy family they all claim it to be. Chinks already are showing in the armor by the end of the opener when Holly, who is Hefner's acknowledged No. 1, admits, "Well, I'm a people person, so I like having Bridget and Kendra around, but I'd rather have Hef to myself." There isn't much outward affection seen on camera between the women and Hefner, as if he's most interested in the women as Barbie doll-resembling trophies than anything akin to true mates. If that's the reality of mansion life, then give us back the fantasy, please.

Hugh Hefner's Girlfriends

About Hugh Hefner's girlfriends, he dumped all but three last summer. The ones that were let go last year were Sheila Levell, Lana Kinnear, Cristal Camden (although she did accompany Hef and current girlfriends to this year's Super Bowl activities in Florida) and Zoe Gregory Paul. After Holly Madison, Zoe had been there the second longest. Holly joined the girlfriend group towards the end of 2001. Sandee Westgate was also briefly a part of the girlfriend posse but didn't last too long.

I've been told that being in the group was similar to a beauty version of Survivor. Think sabotage like Nair in your shampoo or nasty rumors being spread. Zoe was always on Hef's right for photos and even when sitting; I saw her hustle Bridget Marquardt out of seat to Hef's right during the Playboy special that ran on A&E last summer. Bridget looked taken aback, but Zoe had an arrogant self satisfied smile on her face after it was done. Bridget was a cyber girl of the week. Cristal was on the Playboy Xtreme team, but never made it into any Playboy publications or even the website. Zoe was in numerous Playboy Special Editions.

Lana Kinnear and Sheila Levell were both cyber girls of the week. Holly was a cyber girl of the week, but her layout was pulled two days after it was posted because she was up for a Hollywood movie role and having publicly done nudity would have affected her chances of getting the role. Holly used to post on the Playboy message boards and so did Bridget, but they've stopped.

Here are Hefner's other girlfriends:

Tiffany Holliday (Playboy Cyber Girl of the Week)
Stacy Burke (appeared in a Special Edition, I think)
Renee Sloan (owns and designs a lingerie line)
Christie Shake (Miss May 2000)
Charis Boyle (Miss February 2003 - supposedly comes from a very wealthy East coast family with Washington ties)
Katie Lohmann (Miss February 2002 ?)
Stephanie Heinrich (first ever cyber girl and Miss October 2001)
Bentley Twins (Playboy cover girls)
Brande Roderick (Playmate of the Month and Playmate of the Year)
Jessica Paisley (reviled on a popular Playboy mailing list as Hef's only girlfriend that no amount of plastic surgery could turn into a Playmate)
Buffy Tyler (who said on Howard Stern that she was asked to leave the mansion for disobeying Hef - Miss November 2000, I have seen footage from that era of her and Hef and she seemed a special favorite)
Tina Jordan (lived at the mansion with her kid and Hef paid for the nanny - Miss March 2002)
Teri Harrison (Miss October 2002 and the last Playmate to have the cover of her centerfold issue)

The girls get $1,000 a week, free room and board, free maid service, free dry cleaning, free healthcare, and a shopping allowance. They have a strict curfew and if they are not back on time, they are locked out of the mansion. The girls are expected to spend holidays with Hef. There are planned outings every week and the girls have to attend. Every Thursday and Saturday night, the gang goes out on the town (Hef has to approve of their outfits before they leave the mansion.) and the girls either come back drunk or high on Esctacy.

Once home, they either have to have sex with Hef or with each other (even if they aren't attracted to each other). Finally, they can't have other boyfriends besides Hef.

You won't see any more girlfriends as Playmates, because Hef didn't like the way that the ones who had the honor bestowed upon them discarded him immediately after their centerfolds ran. Allegedly, Brande Roderick was promised 2001 Playmate of the Year even before it was announced that she'd be a Playmate. It has often been rumored most frequently that Shannon Stewart won the Playmate of the Year vote that year, with Brooke Berry in second place; Brande was much further behind, not even in the top five for the honor. Jillian Grace, Miss March 2005, was gifted her title as part of a publicity deal that Playboy made with the Howard Stern Show.

There was nothing accidental about Howard 'discovering' Jillian Grace and her becoming a Playmate. It was revealed on the Playboy boards by Miss October 2003, Audra Lynn (I've also heard that she was promised a Playmate spot shortly after she was discovered by Playboy scouts).

I don't like the idea of the Playboy reality show. Its not a good idea to allow daylight in upon magic. They need to maintain the Playboy mystique because that is a big part of the brand.

Happy New Year Jews

It starts tonight and climaxes with Yom Kippur Oct 12 and Sukkot Oct 17-26. Let's dance.

Hollywood Stars in 2037

Paris Hilton, Angelina Jolie, Avril Lavigne, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Gwen Stefani, Jessica Simpson, Jude Law, Justin Timberlake, Katie Holmes, Nicole Kidman.

Aly Drummond and Rick Muenyong Team Up

Brit lesbo is expected to take TheBestPorn.com to a new peak.

Few people have a bad word to say about Aly and Rick (founder of YNOT, the original webmaster community). I don't have any.

Whatever Happened To Star E. Knight?

Fast Eddie writes: "Star E. Knight quit porn over two years ago in disgust about the industry and does not escort."

A former porner replies:

Well that's because the adult industry should adopt a much more descriptive name. I personally think it should be "Adults behaving like adolescents." In my experience, people who leave the industry in disgust are usually a adults that wanted to make a living doing somthing they enjoy. No one ever told any of them about gossip, mandatory pot-use for acceptance, the cliques and the general lack of respect towards many.

Bruce David fires another LFP Staffer

The Hustler Tattler writes:

The atmosphere at Hustler these days is one of paranoia and fear. Staffers often look angry and sullen, and many act like shamed beaten wives, and guess who’s the wife beater?

Editorial Director and bully-at-large Bruce David has fired yet another employee, this time art director Xtra von Nothaus.

In more paranoia, Bruce recently told to an LFP staffer to keep Adreanna Robbins away from his office, “Adreanna Robbins will go to Liz Flynt with anything I say, keep her away.”

Adreanna is a former editorial assistant for LFP and now writes a company newsletter called the LFP Insider. She is only in the office a few days a month, but her presence scares the hell out of Bruce. This is because Adreanna works directly for Liz Flynt, who despises Bruce.

For her part, Robbins has stated privately many times how much she dislikes Bruce and is grateful she only has to come into LFP a few days out of the month to do the newsletter.

A Surprising Text Message

I borrowed a friend's phone in London to arrange dinner with a Christian woman I know.

Imagine her surprise when at 3am she got this text message from my mate (I suspect he meant it for someone else):

If you want to make 500 now I have a guy with me who would like to see you and I shag in front of him. If he likes what he sees he will pay 2k to each of us for the night.

I replied to her:

I admit it was a bit forward, but you have to remember that you clearly said to me that you wanted to discuss business with him, and maybe this was his way of feeling you out before giving you an opportunity to get in on the ground floor.

Don't let a business opportunity, however unusual, pass you by. It sounds like there's big money to be made, and you don't have to tell your boyfriend. It will be our little secret.

I did describe your capabilities to my gentleman-friend and he seemed quite taken by you. Admittedly, he was probably knackered, feeling a bit dodgy, and definitely squiffy when he texted that...

Jason Hendeles (.XXX) an Opportunist?

Frank writes:

I've known about his persistence in establishing .kids and .xxx for quite some time. I believe his intentions for creating them are more capitalitalistic than altruistic. NMN (Now Patriot Moving) was created shortly after regulations on interstate moves were lifted and the resulting moves brokered by NMN were often disastrous. Look up their track record on either movingscam.com or ripoffreport.com. It isn't good.

I'm amazed that Hendeles is claiming that his intentions are to foster responsibility within the internet community, especially considering NMN.

Also, I'm not sure if you found this on your google search of Hendeles: "This application has false statements, please review."

It includes the original application by Hendeles. Jason's application omits his involvement with NMN for reasons that should be obvious. However, his involvement is available for the whole world to see here.

I will admit that I'm basically pretty dumb about the bureaucratic structure of the internet, but even I can see that Jason got himself pretty high up on the totem pole and now is looking to finally make a windfall with this xxx/kids scenario. To me, it has seemed like a scam from the get-go. I have read that there is some opposition from certain groups, including possibly the White House but I really haven't seen a whole lot of it. Any suggestions about getting people to notice what Hendeles is doing?

Here are the basics on Jason Hendeles:

"From 1995-1998, Mr. Hendeles acted as senior business architect and founder to several Internet and telecommunications companies, including Skyscape Communications, Inc., the National Moving Network and the Digital Broadcasting Network."

That is my source for stating that NMN is Hendeles' "brainchild." I found Hendeles' name only after running searches on scam moving companies/brokers. NMN is often cited as being the worst of the bunch. Run a search on them and you'll see. An excellent site to get more info on it is www.movingscam.com. I've never had the cojones to write to Hendeles directly to ask exactly what his dealings with Randy and Aubrie Goldberg entailed. I'm curious though. Jason takes credit for starting the company, but the Goldbergs seem to be taking a lot of the heat.

Yes, NMN is under investigation. For proof...

If you're looking for a good quote from someone who knew Hendeles, you might try to get in contact with Tim Gibson, the author of this rather scathing letter...

Getting in contact with Eugene Kashpureff would be another route, but I'm not sure if he's legally allowed anywhere near a computer after the Alternic fiasco.

How Hendeles has remained unscathed with the amount of criminal behavior around him is beyond me. By my count, that's two business partners indicted and one seriously erroneous application. Although the White House is stalling the introduction of Hendeles' TLD, they haven't outright stopped him. I think that if you and some others in the Adult Entertainment business brought some of these facts to light, people might wonder whether Hendeles is someone they want in charge of an area of the internet that requires excellent judgement at all times.

Gary Kremen Wins Permanent Injunction Against Stephen Cohen

Gretchen Gallen writes for XBiz.com:

SAN DIEGO, Calif. – Gary Kremen, owner of the Sex.com web portal, won a permanent injunction against plaintiff Stephen Cohen Friday, marking a major turn in the road for a longstanding case involving the theft of the Sex.com domain and the recovery of an unpaid $65 million judgment awarded to Kremen in 2001.

Curb Your Enthusiasm

KB tells me: "Yesterday I was in Canter's Deli. Last week's episode dealt with Larry David in a Jewish deli he goes to. He got a bagel with white fish and capers. He bitched to the deli owner that he didn't like white fish. Could he switch to the Ted Danson sandwich? Then Richard Lewis stole Larry David's sandwich.

"Yesterday I saw Richard Lewis walking into Canter's Deli. I told him, try a KB sandwich with white fish... He said, you're good. He did the whole neurotic Jewish thing for me and wished me a happy new year.

"So you had a good trip to Europe? You don't usually get out of your house, so that must've been good for you. You were scared?"

Luke: "So things are good with the Mrs?"

KB: "You mean the mistress [his 19yo girlfriend Katie aka Ria Lynn]? Yeah. She likes you."

Luke: "Why?"

KB: "She thinks you have wild hair."

Luke: "She thinks I'm a lousy dresser."

KB: "You are a lousy dresser. Your loafers and your little Hawaiin shirt at Porn Star Karaoke."

Luke: "Is your girl still doing scenes?"

KB: "No. She's doing a solo girl site for Mob Bucks. She's the artist formerly known as Ria Lynn. She's KB's Bitch.

"We're doing our religious Sunday. We had bagels this morning. Now we're watching football. I'm probably going to get a blowjob between now and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Then she'll get icecream.

"Luke, I recommend you date a young girl. We're going to ChuckECheese later. Saturday morning she watches cartoons and eats cereal. Everybody seemed to like her at the party the other night."

Sex.com $11.4 million domain sale fails -- lawsuit

From Philly.com:

According to the lawsuit, filed yesterday, Sex.com signed an $11.4 million deal last month with a Boston domain company to acquire the Internet address www.sex.com.

As part of the deal, Sex.com alleged that it made a $500,000 deposit to Web site broker Domain Name Acquisition Group L.L.C., the defendant in the case.

The civil complaint did not say why the deal fell apart but alleged that Domain Name engaged in "repeated untruths regarding the domain name Sex.Com, about other competing offers for the domain name Sex.Com, and various other material and relevant exaggerations and untruths."

GeorgeK writes on GFY: "It must have been a company (in Philadelphia) formed specifically for this transaction. The Boston company appears to have been brokering it. This would seem to explain why Gary Kremen's firm isn't a party to the lawsuit, according to the story."

KRL writes: "Most of the really big domain deals all involve creative financing. I'm even thinking about putting together an investment group for this one."

Choker writes:

75k typeins, redirect them to a paying paysite at 3 to 4 cents a click. one $200 a month server is all you need. No staff, no marketing, nothing . Mill a year in income after expenses. From there it's just a matter of how much you are willing to pay for 1 mill a year income. 10 mill would get you a 10% return on your income. Little risk as this domain should always get this many tpe ins a day forever. There is no shortage of paysites that would buy this redirected traffic at 3 to 4 cents a click. If Gary had done this model instead of the clusterf--- of a network he made, he would be on easy street right now.

Sex.com Lawsuit Erupts, Kremen ‘Not Involved’

From XBiz.com:

The case does not involve Gary Kremen, the well-known entrepreneur who still technically owns the site.

Kremen told XBiz he recently had several individuals, including officials at Boston-based Domain Name Acquisition Group (DNAG) and Deal Jam, put in an option to buy Sex.com, which is estimated to be worth around $11 million. Kremen said they in turn sold the address to an undisclosed buyer, taking a $500,000 deposit on the purchase.

Rob Spallone Update

I call him Sunday afternoon.

Rob: "Welcome home."

Luke: "What's new with your HBO demo?"

Rob: "Very good. We had two arguments on the set yesterday and my camera wasn't rolling. I was pissed. Two new girls. One argued with her husband. One argued with her boyfriend. It was good."

Aly Drummond (AVN's Most Visibile Presence on the Webmaster Boards) Leaves

Her last day was September 30. She replies to my email: "It's not a big deal. I received a great offer I didn't want to turn down. You'll get the press release tomorrow."

Farley Cahan is no longer the publisher of AVN Online. He's in charge of sales. That's Jennifer Rosenblatt's old job.

Tony Lovett is the new publisher of AVN Online, in addition to his post as Editor of the magazine.

CCBill Beefs Up European Operations

They (one of the two leading credit card processors for porn on the Web) threw a big party in London Sept 21 with their owner Rod Cadwell and their leading executives.

CCBill's European headquarters are in Malta, where they just added 30 employees.

Taylor Behl Investigation

Mike Dickinson writes me Oct 2:

Benjamin Fawley, 38, better known as "Skulz" on his web site, was arrested on 16 counts of possession of child pornography last week. He was denied bail and now must sit in jail until October 31 for his preliminary hearing.

Commonwealth's Attorney Assistant Mike Jagels said that police found over 30 movie clips on his computer some showing children as young as 1 and 2 and others 10 to 14 years old.

Fawley has admitted he had a multiple sexual encounters with the 17 year old missing girl, Taylor Behl and was one of the last people to see her on the day she vanished.

Police served a search warrant on Fawley's home yesterday to retrieve additional material, which reportedly included sex toys, chains, panties, and his mattress which has a brownish/red stain on it.

Fawley, was a indigent amateur photographer whose sole source of income besides social security was working as a nude model in the Virginia Commonwealth University Art School.

Compounding matters is that Fawley's story the night Behl vanished is odd at best. He reportedly last saw her at 9:30 p.m. that evening. Four hours later he reportedly was walking in a alley nearby when he was assaulted by 4 people, beaten, and taken to a field where he was dumped. He then hitchhiked his way back to Richmond where he waited until 4 p.m. the following day to report his abduction to police.

Before he was arrested last weekend, he had changed his appearance (cutting and dying his hair) and had reportedly discussed leaving town on the Internet.

Fawley also had a reputation around campus as being someone who hung around the freshman dorms soliciting girls to photograph.

Mike Dickinson writes me Sep 19:

On Sunday (9/18/05) they found the car belonging to Taylor Behl parked on a street in the upper fan, a neighborhood populated by many young people located less than a mile from campus. Someone had switched the plates on the car, indicating that they were deliberately trying to cover their trail.

But more disturbingly than that, last night on local television stations the attorney for 38 year old photographer Ben Fawley said that there was "probably" a intimate relationship between he and the missing 17 year old Taylor Behl. No one is sure yet how they met, though it looks like they made there initial contact over a Internet site, most likely myspace.com or thefacebook.com which are both ways college students meet each other.

Behl's mother and others on campus report that Fawley has a history of trolling through web sites and areas around campus looking for young co-eds to photograph at his studio, which is in a apartment within walking distance of campus.

While Fawley has acknowledged he was probably one of the last people to see Behl alive, someone should ask him, if he is a professional photographer why he is working with underage girls? Some of the content on his web site suggests he may have problems as there are photos of his own 11 year old daughter dressed provocatively in a schoolgirl outfit. I doubt there is one professional in the adult entertainment industry who would do that.

It will also be interesting to see if the feds prosecute him on a violation of the federal 2257 regulations.

Also interesting has been the police response. While Virginia Commonwealth University police seemed not to panic at first in trying to find the girl, when the City of Richmond police department took over the investigation they put out a national Amber Alert. This could be because VCU police did not want to alarm the general public, VCU made the news a few weeks ago for having the largest incoming freshman class and had been riding a high of good publicity. The VCU campus newspaper has also done little other than attending news briefings to further the investigation.

Angels on the Fairway, Here Is My Request

Kryss Taghadossi writes:

For the record, in advance of all I am about to say - you need to know, I am also a minister and have a propensity to find lies abhorrent. I will swear on a stack of bibles, on my mother's life, on my own life that what I am about to tell you is the God's-honest truth. I have already offered to swear in court if need be.

I need to take issue with the untrue and libelous statements on your website. Having attended the event I can tell you first hand that there is absolutely NO truth to the allegations. Not only have I worked with the event since it began, I have consistently attended it and am one of the senior staff there. I volunteer my time year-round for this event as I wholeheartedly believe in it.

For the record: our charities have always gotten donations and anyone is more than welcome to check with them, they include the Laura Dester Children's Shelter, Women for Women International, the Jenesee Center and countless others over the years.

The models who attend are only expected to do one or two duties out of several: pose for normal pictures (with clothes, in lobby or by pool etc), talk with clients, pose for the calendar, be a model in the swimsuit or lingerie fashion shows, take part in the auctions... There is not any suggestion much less requirement of prostitution or anything even resembling it. In fact if we had any reason to believe that was going on, the offending parties would be asked to leave the event. If anyone is engaging in any kind of sexual behavior, it is not under the direction or consent of the event, staff or promoter - period. Furthermore, there is no "Phil" who works for us - the majority of staff is actually female and I can guarantee you NO ONE would make such a statement.

The truth is, this event usually ends up costing the promoter some of her own money -- but she continually does it out of the goodness of her heart in order to help the women and children who are victims of domestic violence. The proceeds from all auctions are directly given to our charities, and sometimes a little extra. Our website has the letters of thank you from the charities each year - you are welcome to see them yourself and even contact the charities for validation if you so wish.

All I can assume is that the few people who are writing you with these grossly false allegations are upset because they have either been refused access (which some clients have been for being rude to our models, as have some models have who came for the free trip but then didn't even want to do any simple duties) or someone asked to leave for bad behavior. You see, we actually do not tolerate even small instances of inappropriate behavior at our events.

The real problem is that by a few "anonymous" people saying such outright lies and by your promoting those lies, the people you folks are actually hurting are the hundreds and thousands of women and children who have or will benefit from our event. It is completely vicious, uncalled for and just mean. I had assumed this would all blow over as it was obviously false and vindictive behavior on the part of a few people (if not just one in multiple email accounts) but you seem to be enjoying the sensationalism too much.

It is obvious with me that someone who is angry with Ms. Sheffield (for whatever reason) is willing to sacrifice the abused women and children in order to get their own sense of "vindication" for whatever wrong they feel they have been done.

It is truly unfortunate that they - and YOU - would choose to destroy hope for the women and children who benefit from our donations every year in order to please yourselves.

Unlike your other "mystery commentators" I will sign my name - as I am telling the truth and not afraid to be called on it - on your site, in court or before God.

Jacquelin L. Black writes me:

I have spent the time reading the material on your site and can’t believe you put such unsubstantiated garbage up and call it journalism. First your initial article is based upon one source, as you yourself stated, and you have no additional sources to collaborate this one source. How do we know this initial source was not one of the models that applied and was turned down or was sent home for behaving inappropriately?

I have worked this event. I have helped with the administrative duties while at the event. In point of fact each time I’ve attended I was the person who took the money for the charities for each auction. I kept a diligent set of books on the auctioned items and the amount each item sold for, maintaining an accounting integrity for the event and for accountability to the charities. Every single penny raised from the auctions went to the charities the event supported. To say otherwise is a flat-out lie and is libelous. I can support my statements with documents and facts, I wonder how many people making statements that are derogatory to the event can do the same.

You are being a completely irresponsible ‘reporter’ (and I used this term for lack of any other that may fit you). You have published opinions, innuendo of improper accounting practices and the flat out untruth of anyone related to the administration of the event would ask any of the models to sleep with anyone of the guests.

If a model had opted to sleep with one of the men who paid to attend the event it was her option and not a mandate, request or even known about by the organizer or anyone related to the organization. Yet you permit such fairy tales to be posted as if they were fact and could be backed up with evidence. There is no evidence to support these statements because none of what has been said here ever happened; at least not with knowledge or consent of the organizer or staff of the event. If someone has such loose morals that they believe a roll in the sack with a rich guy will gain them anything then I suggest the problem is not with the event but the person who believes this way.

If you are going to do harm to individuals, then at least have the decency to put the harm and blame where it belongs. The harm and destruction you are causing is to children and women who have been beaten up in life. These people are the ones who need our help and your shoddy journalism has harmed them just as much, if not more, than the men who battered them in the first place. If this is your idea of journalism then we need new journalists that understand backing up their stories with facts!

How Does A Porner Express Love?

Ryan Knox writes on ADT: "Spitting, slapping, choking, gagging, hair pulling, spanking, eye gouging, forced rimming/ass whiping, pissing and smothering. Those things are all done out of love!"

Disheartening letter from a fake fan of Kylie Ireland

Kylie posts on ADT:

Below is a series of emails between me and what I thought was a fan who was honestly asking me for advice. It's a long but interesting read.

From: david kwong yin [mailto:dkwongyin@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Wednesday, September 14, 2005 5:24 AM
To: kylie@kylieireland.com
Subject: Please don't ignore me_I need some advice from your part

Hello Kylie

I am a married man, but I spend my days thinking about sex fantasies involving other women (especially you!! ). I have been a member of your fantastic website for nearly 6 months now. Just recently, my wife caught me jerking off to your movies and she had a violent dispute with me and ordered me to stop my subscription to your website. I am having none of this though because I just can't help myself from masturbating to your incredible pictures and movies while my wife is asleep at night. The mere thought of you makes me so horny. Do you think there's anything wrong with a married man masturbating to porn movies? I just can't resist your incredible body and if my wife can't accept that, I won't hesitate to ask for a divorce. Please tell me I am right to fulfil my sexual fantasies and if my wife cannot accept that, then I should leave her. I would really appreciate a little support from a sex goddess like you. Please don't ignore this email. I am your biggest fan and am desperate to hear from you. I would be prepared to give my life for you.

Bobby

------------
My reply:

Bobby,

As you may or may not know I have an online radio show on www.ksexradio.com every Thursday at 9 pm pst. When I received your letter I read it on the air (name omitted of course) and we had an in-depth discussion about it. I had planned to answer via email but there are so many different angles to what is really going on here that it would be a very long email. I will be posting this show on my website the week of the 28th, since you are a member you will be able to listen to it and get a full range of my thoughts. As I said, it is way too deep of a subject to answer in just an email.
Thanks,

Kylie Ireland
www.kylieireland.com

----------
His reply to my email about reading the letter on the show:

Hi Kylie

Thank you so much for answering my email. This really shows that you truly care for all your fans out here. Unfortunately, I missed your show on ksexradio...I'm not really into ksexradio to be honest! To make matters worse, my bitch of a wife has cancelled my subscription to your website without me knowing. It might take me some time to get that subscription back. In the meantime, I would really appreciate if you could give that email a go. I know it's going to take a lot of your time, but I'm so desperate for an answer right now and an email from your part would really help before I eventually get my subscription back and have a look at the show. Please help me. My situation is really killing me. You really can't imagine how desperate I am right now.

Your biggest fan
Bobby

---------

Because I care about my fans and was asked for help I wrote back with this:

I am not going to back you here and tell you your wife is being a bitch and you should leave her. I think that is wrong. Divorce is the cheap out and if you did that without looking at all your options and your feeling then I would tell you that you are being shallow and naïve.

I really cannot stress how many options there are to what is going on, and honestly it isn't my place to be your therapist but the bottom line here is that the two of you aren't communicating. There is a reason you like porn and it might be because you are not getting what you need out of the relationship. There is a reason she is upset and that could be because her needs are not fulfilled either. Notice the words could and might. I am not there and don't know your situation. You need to talk. Bottom line, you both need to be honest about what you need, what your desires are and what you are feeling. Getting a divorce over a porn website is childish and only proves that there is a larger problem.

There is nothing wrong with porn and it can be a wonderful addition to a relationship. It is also a great form of safe sex. I am sure any woman would rather have their husband enjoy a little porn that to go out and cheat. Men are usually more visually stimulated than women. Women are more emotionally connected. Look at your marriage from her point of view. This problem is both of yours, it is not your fault nor just hers. It takes two to tango baby.

Many religious zealots claim porn destroys marriages, NOT TRUE. Lack of communication does and that is what you and your wife have. You are both harboring anger and seem to have fear of communicating. If you cannot sit down and talk go to therapy. Go separately then after a few sessions go as a couple. Be honest with the therapist. Why not? What could it hurt? Men have some aversion to therapy and if you do too, get over it. A middle person who is outside the relationship will be able to help you to discuss things rationally and like adults. It will broaden your horizons, help you to be honest with yourself and each other and might actually save your marriage. If you suggest therapy it will show her you are open minded and willing to try to work it out.
Perhaps, if it is a jealousy issue on her part you could learn to enjoy adult material together. Like I said, I can't even speculate because I don't know enough.

Go, talk to her. Tell her you love her and desire her and be honest with yourself and her. You married her because you loved her, you just need to rediscover and rekindle that love, desire and passion is what I am betting. By the way, I am not talking out my ass here. I was married for 10 years and lack of communication and honesty destroyed it.

That is the basis of what we talked abut on the show only much more in depth. I am sure this is not what you wanted to hear but you asked my opinion.

Kylie Ireland
www.kylieireland.com

----------

And the final email I received from him:
you bitch...you f---ing bitch...one day I will f--- the brains out of you...I made up this story to get your attention and you fell in my trap...haha...I knew it...you dumb slut...now I can go to my friends and tell them how I managed to get the attention of the f---ing pornstar you are...by the way I was never a member of your website. Cheers Father-f---er

---------
My thoughts:

This is the kind of bullshit I get for answering my email which most porn girls rarely take the time to do), caring about my fans and wanting to be a good person and help. I take pride in my job and in trying to be a good person, I like to help others and in the process dispel the myths that porn stars are all self-centered bitches.

This is the thanks I get. Shit like this makes me want to not answer my email, not talk to my fans and in general not even make any effort.

I did not email this childish person back and tell him off, nor do I understand the mentality of this whole trap. Is bragging to your friends about tricking a porn star a badge of courage? Does that make him a big man? Perhaps it makes his tiny, pathetic little dick hard? Does this whole thing make him feel better in some way, to have taken advantage of a person's kindness? Or perhaps he became suddenly embarrassed that he was asking me for help? One thing for sure is he certainly must not have much of a life and has way too much time on his hands. Who knows, all I know is that it makes me not want to care and not want to waste the time and effort. This was all very disheartening.

The reason I have posted this here is so that if any of you want to let him know what your thoughts are (and I hope you will) here is his email address. dkwongyin@yahoo.co.uk His email address says his name is David, yet he signed the emails Bobby.

If nothing else thank you for taking the time to read this.

Kylie

PS. If anyone feels feisty and emails him please forward it to me as well.

Ira Levine aka Ernest Greene replies:

You really are one of the kindest, most decent human beings I've had the pleasure to meet, work with and get to know in this often heartless business and it saddens me no end that you would be the target of such a miserable, scummy prank, it that's even the right word for it. I feel nothing but contempt for the individual responsible, and suspect he has an equally low opinion of himself or he wouldn't feel the need to stoop to such lowly antics.

I've noticed a distinct rise in the frequency of cruel, anonymous attacks on performers in this vein, not only here but elsewhere on the Web. In fact, we've finally had to cut off new sign-ups at to our forum at nina.com because the ratio of trolling assholes to genuine human beings has tipped so adversely.

I'm not sure why this has become so common, or if in fact it's just the work of a small number of individuals without lives who do nothing but cruise from site to site looking for opportunities to make things unpleasant for women in this industry. I find myself wondering whether this phenomenon is a response to a hostile political climate, or a proliferation of a new breed of "fan" who wants to get in on the "mean porn" trend personally, but whatever the cause, it sucks.

I have exactly zero patience with the argument that porn stars are public figures who are, in essence, "asking for it" by the nature of what they do. I saw that argument advanced over the recent outing of real names and other personal info, and I think those making it fail quite utterly in the common decency and respect for other human beings departments.

Those who make their livings entertaining others, whether through sex performance or some alternative form of creative expression, give at the office. In no way does their visibility make them somehow legitimate targets of stalkers, tricksters, scam artists or hateful loser assholes of any other variety.

The fact that the perpetrators live in dingy basements, subsist on cat food, couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons and have to beg on pay phones to their mommies to cover their rent doesn't excuse them in any way. By their actions, they place themselves outside the realm of human compassion and I for one am glad you posted this dumb f---'s email and hope that others will choose to let him know just how thoroughly he's humiliated himself with his petty attempt to humiliate you.

I think it's time for all of us who make ourselves available on the Web to take a harder line with the few who abuse the privilege. That's one of the reasons our site is so heavily moderated. If the adult Internet becomes a sort of open season on porn stars, the eventual result will be porn stars ceasing to participate in direct contact with fans, an unfortunate loss to all and another reason to come down hard on abusive posters whenever and wherever they appear.

Let me conclude by saying that I deeply hope the ugliness of this one spiteful loser won't dim your kind and welcoming radiance toward the many, many fans and friends out there who love you. It's that very quality that sets you apart, and that lesser beings will always envy and resent. You have a big heart, and that is a rare treasure others covet.

Being married to someone with many similar qualities, I can appreciate the pressures involved and can only offer my love and support, along with Nina's.

Take care. We're with you.

Kylie Ireland responds:

I am absolutely touched by the outpouring of strength and caring and support (with a nifty twinge of evil) that you have all shared. I wasn't sure what would come out of posting this or that if it was the right thing to do.

In the end I thought "well if this guy wants to brag to his friends - I will help him brag to the world." Aren't you all impressed by him? Some of you brought up things I hadn't even thought of - beyond him being an asshole and a loser - like he might be underage or it could be his wife. Interesting to ponder. Either way I thought it might be interesting for you all to see what us porn chicks occasionally encounter.

For those of you who have actually emailed him, that is fantastic, I haven't heard back from him but I'll bet he is baffled as all hell. I don't think he will dare email back.

Trust me it will take a lot more that one arrogant, idiotic asshole to change the person I am inside. That stunt may have stung a bit but it also has made me stronger. One bad apple doesn't ruin the bunch.

A fan writes:

There was an ordinary man who needed a friend and someone to talk to. One day he saw a pretty picture of a lady in a magazine. He thought right way that she was the vision of loveliness and was so amazed by her beauty. To his surprise, this lady was a celebrity and also an adult film actress. He found out that she was very new to the industry and thought to contact her somehow and some way. He gathered enough courage to sit down at his desk, grab a pen and start writing down what came to his mind with feelings straight from his heart. He expressed how one day he would want to meet her... how much he wanted to get to know her better... how much he dreamt of even getting a reply from her if she would even have the time to read his letter.

Does it sound familiar? This particular story happens to be true and took place about 11 years ago. I should know because that ordinary young man... was me.. and the lovely lady.. of course was you.

Back when I wrote that first letter, I never knew if you would receive it... or if you had the time from your busy schedule to read it or if you would even care to reply. In that letter, I told you how I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world. I only thought you might have laughed, giggled or if it made you smile. I was thinking, if you have already read or heard what was said probably once or more before, but in different words by different guys. I tried to choose my words as best I can but I was scared that I might have sounded like a school boy writing a love letter to his first girlfriend.

Little did I know that your beauty came in many different ways. Not only in your physical appearance, but what was inside of you. You possess something that you don't find everyday in every person.. and that is your special caring and kindness. You didn't know me back then and you took the time to write me back. I'm very glad and happy that you did.

Throughout the years you were there for me in so many different ways. I always tried to keep up with you and your career. I knew your schedule might have been busy, for you were not only an actress but you also danced. I would write you a letter through the mail (way before you had an email or website) when there was something special that happened to me or just to tell you how much I enjoyed looking at your newest pictures in a magazine or how fantastic it was to have seen your newest movies. I always tried to be as open as I could, yet try to be a gentleman and not offend you. I would wonder if you received every letter or if they might have missed you as you travelled.

I'd keep you in my thoughts everyday hoping you'd never forget me. From the very first time, I told you I would strive to be the very best fan you would ever have. One day you made it official and sent me a card which acknowledged me as your #1 fan. That will always be an honor to me. I know you know the rest of the story... as it is still being written. You've been around for me whenever you could, from the good times and even the bad times I had in my life.

You've always been a strong, intelligent, caring and loving woman. I thank you for being the kind person you were back then... and are now. I wouldn't even want to think of "What ifs?"

That's why when I read the email you posted. I was in shock. I felt many emotions for awhile. I was saddened that someone would try to hurt you. I was angry that you had to read those words. For that misbegotten person to even think of doing such a thing. He/she didn't know nearly enough that betraying your openess has probably made you stronger. Why someone would fake a letter of that nature, I do not know.

I know it will probably make you more cautious as to who and the people you interact with in the future and I'm sorry that you might feel that way. Your true fans know who they are.. and they will be around, no matter what. Certainly they outweigh those lesser individuals that have to pretend to get your attention.

Let me finish by saying... Kylie, you will always be very, if not the most important thing in my life. Till this day, I will always be here for you, not just for support, not only as a fan, but most importantly... also as your faithful friend. Thank you for putting your trust in me all these years and keeping in touch by letters and emails as well as hanging out when I see you. I truly appreciate everything you've done, especially sharing your life with me. You're one of a kind and so very special!!

Take care my sweet and sexy angel!

All my love always,

Your # 1 fan forever,

Ronald

Terri Summers writes:

Those letters are crap, cos you sincerely feel for the person, and actually think you are helping someone, and then you get an answer like that.. trust me i have been there before! You feel like shit, and makes you want to not answer your emails anymore. I still have one who wanted to get in the biz, and i was trying to help a little, but kept mailing and mailing, got mad and angry when i wasnt fast enough to answer, then went around plenty boards to say what a bitch i was, mailing me how evil and bitch i am. Still pops up once in a while in some place calling me a bitch, haha i found you again!

Short little, but helpfull answers seem to be working, and cut out the bad from the good. The good ones stop or stay writing, and start talking more about themselves, the bad ones stop mailing, or get obsesive and keep mailing why you dont answer them 5 minutes after they send their mail, those you put on block and end of story.. when you get the mail that you really helped someone its all worth it again!Like i helped a guy trough his surgery from male to female..for 2 years we mailed until i got the end photo. That was cool!

China Barbie Interview

China Barbie: I first had the name Akari but I changed it when I came across a girl named Boriqua Barbie in my agent’s office and, being part Chinese, I toyed with calling myself China Barbie and then it stuck. Especially when a bigger agent in L.A., Jim South, told me to keep the name ‘cause my top is heavy (naturally) and my waist is small like a Barbie doll.

So Hood: Who was the first guy you had sex on camera with?

China Barbie: TT Boy. Jim South set the whole thing up and I was doing a scene the first day I met him. I didn’t want to work with him or do any kind of scene, at first, but then he told me in some weird way that he was not white, but Puerto Rican and then I changed my mind and we did the scene later that day.

On Set With RelishXXX.TV

Suzy Best Suzy Emma Donna Marie Donna Marie Donna Marie Donna

Over the past year, Relish has become the biggest and most extravagant British porn production company. They take four days to shoot a five-six sex scene feature. I was on set with them for a couple of days (Sept 20, 23).

Relish's main feature director is 36-year old Harry aka Hazza B. Gunne (harry at relishfilms.com) and the cinematographer is Savage Willie.

On September 23, I talk on-set of Porno Pads 2 (a spoof on the MTV show Cribs) with busty brunette Donna Marie about her ban from entering the United States. On the day that Arnold Schwarzenegger was sworn in as California's governor (Oct 8, 2003), Donna was trying to clear U.S. customs in Los Angeles. "They did a random baggage search and they found all this stuff on me. They found out I was coming there to do porn. I had sex toys. Lingerie. I tried to convince them but they didn't believe me. They locked me up for 23-hours at LAX and sent me on the next plane back. I'm banned for five years. Do you think they'll ever let me back in your country? I don't think so. Ever.

"I was supposed to go to Arnold Schwarzenegger's party that night and I had to watch the party on a TV in the cell."

Harry (this is his 31st film, all for Relish, which he co-owns with Lord Jasper, whose relative invented the cheque) tells me about his movie: "We go in and look in other people's houses. People, by nature, are quite nosy. It's a good way to expediate the myth that porn is glamorous and that we're all having a good time."

RelishXXX started three years ago. Before then, Harry worked as a film and TV editor, cutting shows like Big Brother.

"[Britain has its] own magazine now called ETO -- Erotic Trade Only. It covers the Adult sector. It's a useful trade magazine. Lee Scofield [is the publisher]. They're very useful. They've legitimized the industry.

"You guys in the U.S. are 15-years ahead of us in terms of trade shows, awards, glamor, talent..."

Luke: "When people ask you what you do for a living, what do you say?"

Harry: "I tell them I'm in the porno business. Everybody reacts differently. Normal people are relaxed by it. As it becomes more legitimate and more people can access it [hardcore was illegal in the UK until five years ago], and not frightened to say that they actually watch it... We have 24 Adult satellite channels [in England]. They're softcore because of our funny censorship laws.

"We [at Relish] always shoot hard and soft versions. We sell our stuff to Playboy TV. We're one of their main content suppliers.

"Everything goes through the censor in the UK. Hardcore is legal but the censor has to see it. We pay a thousand pounds for the privilege of sending it to the British Board of Film Classification. Whether it is Star Wars or Porno Pads, they all have to go through the censor.

"I've got a list of things you can and can not do. You can do anal. You can show everything. But the stuff that Max Hardcore does, anything aggressive, you can't do it. You can piss, but not on anyone. There are certain role-playing things that you can and can not do. If someone is tied up, you can't have ball gags."

Luke: "What about HIV testing?"

Harry: "We're very stringent on that, like you guys in the States. We take our lead from what you guys do. We run a free national health service, but you can't go in there and get a [free HIV test every month]. But there are two clinics in the country that take on a dedicated list of adult [sex workers]. There is a code word you can give to these people -- "indigo." It lets them know you're in the sex trade."

Luke: "Do you do scenes?"

Harry: "No, I'm just straight behind the camera."

The 36-year old just celebrated his wife's 40th birthday.

Harry: "There are only 250 licensed sex shops in the UK. You can't sell [pornographic] DVDs without a license. Mail ordering [of porn] is illegal [unless it is from an off-shore company]."

Ian and Debbie run the biggest talent agency in the UK -- Walpole.

Omar (a big black guy) and Kirsten (a 33-year old white woman) used to run a big talent agency that had close ties with World Modeling. But they divorced a few years ago and closed up show. Kirsten is making a porn comeback this year, doing a movie with Rocco Siffredi.

Kirsten now runs an escort agency -- photogirls.net.

I chat with the tall blonde make-up artist from Prager. She's gone from a B to a D-cup in the past few months and doesn't know why. She's a mainstream model, does not do porn. Her fiance would not approve.

I chat with Suzy Best. Her boyfriend of six months is fellow performer Max Sloane. "It's a lot easier [to have a relationship with someone in the industry]," she says. "It's very honest. If I want to bring a girl back, he doesn't mind."

What's it like having relationships with people outside the industry?

"A lot harder. They don't understand it. They think you're enjoying it. They think that you're making love, and it's not like that.

"It's too confusing."

How did your family react?

"They don't know. In the year-and-a-half I've been doing it, I've gotten away with it."

Do you get recognized in public?

"No. Never."

Suzy won't work as a stripper. "I can't dance."

Her previous job was as a make-up artist.

Tia Brodie writes me:

I can't believe you didn't tell us (Sophie Dee and I) you were coming to London - we would have met up with you! I've just finished a scene for Private called I Only Love Girl on Girl Action. It wont be out for a year though. Am doing 3 scenes tomorrow and basically working nearly every day before I come over to LA on Monday. It's been manic - am in the process of setting up a cam house and my staff start on a new interactive TV show this Friday. I also have a girl who works for my agency coming over to work for World Modeling for a month. Her name is Samantha Bond..no doubt we shall bring her to PSK so you can meet her.

A friend writes:

What's the porn scene like in the UK? Are drugs as rampant in their adult industry? (I swear at literally every porn gathering I've been to, I've encountered at least one person out of it on some sort of drug. At one PSK night, all the stalls in the ladies bathroom had multiple people in them making sniffling noises! I'm not a prude, but that was just ridiculous.)

So you didn't notice that... was tweaking when she got out of the limo at XRCO? I did, she was 'off'. The coke heads in the biz are the ones whose moods change really suddenly during a conversation; you can also tell by the way that they are sniffling, jumpy eyes, etc.

The Weirdest Blog

African American Rabbi Sets Up Shop In Crown Heights.

Where are they now: Debbie Does Dallas

Debbie De Santo aka Barbara Woodson aka Bambi Woods - Debbie Benton Bambi Woods is so closely identified with her lead role in Debbie Does Dallas, that urban legend has it that at one time she was actually a member of the Dallas Cheerleaders. This is only partially true - she did try out for the squad, but was never accepted. (Paradoxically, she never actually has sex with anyone FROM Dallas in the movie). To many, she is the epitome of the 70s female sex star, possibly due to the very few roles she played - Bambi's whole adult film career revolved almost exclusively around the role of Debbie, which she created for Debbie Does Dallas, and reprised in two sequels. She came from a very religious background (as many female porn starts seem to), emerged on the scene for her brief moment of fame, and then, mysteriously, she disappeared from sight. Conflicting rumors have her dying of a drug overdose in 1986, turning up in strip joints across the US, and being "rescued" by her step-parents before going into seclusion. Even her real name is a matter of fierce debate.

Reflections On The British Influence On Porn

Before a person can perform in a pornographic video in the year 2005, he has to fill out a lengthy release form which includes his religious affiliation. Most British porn stars put down "C of E."

As Kate Fox points out in her superb book, WATCHING THE ENGLISH, this stands for "Church of England."

...[T]he Church of England is the least religious church on Earth. It is notoriously woolly-minded, tolerant to a fault and amiably non-prescriptive.

Englishmen in a bukkake line don't barge to the front. They wait their turn because they have an exquisite sense of fairness.

Ideally, the English male would rather not issue any definite invitation at all, sexual or social, preferring to achieve his goal through a series of subtle hints and oblique manoeuvres, often so understated to be almost undetectable. This 'uncertainty' principle has a number of advantages: the English male is not required to exhibit any emotions...

Luke In London, Paris

Sept 19-26 was fashion week, this is Luke, a few hours off the plane on Sept 19 evening before a Versace premiere Luke in front of Tower Bridge, beside the Thames, Sep 20 Luke in front of the Tower of London Luke, Tower Luke's mate trying to take a still picture inadvertently takes a video of Luke in front of the Tower near the beginning of our tour Luke, Tower More inadvertent video of Luke Luke, Tower Luke, Tower Luke, Thames Luke in the Clink Luke in the Clink Luke in the Clink Luke in front of St. Paul's Cathedral Luke, knackered, in front of Parliament Luke, Thames, Parliament Luke in front of Westminster Abbey, Sept 21 Luke near Westminster Abbey Luke on the London Eye in front of Big Ben Escort agency postcards on phone booth opposite the Ritz Carleton, most expensive hotel in London, notice fake pics of Stormy, Jesse Jane Luke at Cambridge, Sep 22 Luke in Wapping, over the Thames, Sep 23 Luke in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, Sept 25 Luke, Eiffel Luke, tour bus, Champs Elysees Luke, Eiffel Luke in Oxford, Sep 27 Luke, Oxford Luke, Oxford Luke, Oxford Luke, Oxford Blooper video Luke, Oxford Luke, Oxford Luke, Magdelen College, Oxford Luke, Magdelen College Luke, Magdelen College Luke, John Locke Luke, Oxford Luke, Oxford Luke, Oxford Luke, Oxford Luke, Oxford Luke, Oxford Luke, Oxford Centre for Islamic Studies Luke, St. Paul's Cathedral, Sep 28 Luke, St. Paul's Luke, St. Paul's Luke at St. Paul's Luke, St. Paul's, London Luke, St. Paul's Luke, St. Paul's Commentary Luke on London Eye

Women Have To Stop Starving Themselves Past The Point Of Hotness

Avoiding eating in order to improve your appearance is part of being a woman, and it's natural for a woman to devote all of her time to achieving a figure pleasing to the male eye. While there are many ways to get hot, one of the simplest, fastest, and most effective is through self-starvation. However, anorexia, like all things, is best used in moderation. For example, you should never get so thin that you lose your tits.

Bidding Tim Connelly Adieu

A source writes: "Tim Connelly is at home, high as a kite, preparing a COMEDY STAND-UP ACT."

Bidding You Adieu

Yours truly,
Al Czervix

Burnin' For You

In lighter news, I hear that Tim Connelly did not go to rehab like AVN insisted. As a result, his contract will not be renewed when it expires next year. Connelly is persona non grata at events, and will not be involved at all with January's AVN Expo and AVN Awards Show.