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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

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Aaliyah Brown Update

Jon writes:

the reason I am writing you is I got a call on my cell phone this christmas and looked up the number on google and an article came up about "aaliyah brown"..I am not in the porn industry..I met her off of craigs list...I was bored one night and saw her photo online(this is when she weighed about 140 much more attractive than she is now). Well I think she wanted like 80 bucks for sex....I thought she was cute so why not? I picked her up she was late...we met,and I walked her over to my truck as we walked over to my truck,a group of black younger men walked by like 2 or 3 of them and she starts waving at them saying hi but they act like they do not even know her....i can already see this chick is bad news while at my house,she starts to give me head but stops every 5 seconds to get up and look at herself in the mirror...i give her a quick fuck and get her back She calls me a few days later and says she is living with this perverted old man in a trailer and I am an asshole(not her exact words,but to that effect)for not giving her money to help her out of her situation...she also makes a "joke" about calling the police and telling them i raped her....she calls later apologizing saying it was only a joke,she is sorry,she wants to make it up to me,can she stay a few days here she will give me good sex,ect ect So I pick her up,bring her to my house she gets topless,she sitting on my lap,I make a joke"so what do you want for christmas little girl?"....she gets up,says"this is weird",calls her exboyfriend"whom she told me was an abusive asshole",and says "i hate this place"(referring to my place)..."can i come live with you?"(now she has only been at my house for ten minutes already she wants to leave and she is saying this right in front of my face)...he obviously wants nothing to do with her....then,as if nothing has happened,she hangs up and sits in my lap like nothing is wrong,and tries to continue where we left off!) then she says she wants to have sex,then changes her mind,says she wants to cuddle,at that point i tell her to get her ass on the sofa,i take her back at 6 in the morning,to pissed off and worried what she might try to do to my house to sleep and as i drop her off,she tells me she loves me! The last time I see her,she calls me telling me she needs food,she needs money,shes sorry about what happened,she was drugged by somebody,shes better now,ect ect....so i tell her i can set her up with my roomate(he gives her 100.00)because at this point i don't wanna touch her anymore.....i pick her up,drive her to my roomate while i go to gym.....after they are through(he tells me she never completed the act),i even feed her because i feel bad for her....after eating my food, she says something about I have poisoned her!again when i drop her off,she yells out"I LOVE YOU" I read where one guy says she freaked out at a party and shes usually not like that WELL I GOT NEWS FOR YOU..SHES ALWAYS LIKE THAT THIS BITCH IS INSANE! I hope you print this because this bitch needs help!do not give her any drugs!

Two New Technologies That Will Be Bad For Porn

Jay23 posts on JBM:

Wikiasari, a search engine being started by the founder of Wikipedia that will have humans edit the search restults for relevance just like Wikipedia. So no more SEO work to by pass the search algorithms. Venice Project, this is a project by the original Skype founders. It’s a P2P video network. I saw the demo and the video quality is amazing. When bandwidth is free you end up putting more and more free porn. None of these are very bad for adult and can be exploited to work in favor of our industry but both of them will make harder to make money in adult.

Kira Eggers Has Published A Book

But it is in Danish.

She now lives in Scotland and directs porn movies four times a year.

AIM Health Care to Hold Fundraiser for Eric Edwards

According to AVN.com:

Mitchell told AVN.com that Edwards has come under some hard times, and is surviving two types of cancer, lung surgery and chemotherapy treatments. As Mitchell explained, “[Eric] is scraping by in a cabin with his two sons. He barely has enough money to exist, let alone have any kind of Christmas for his boys.”

Scott Fayner According To Wikipedia

Scott Fayner is a porn industry writer who has written for Hustler. His website features interviews with industry actors and executives, movie reviews, and porn star gossip. He was briefly married to adult film actress Taylor Rain (TMFR) who is also the editor-in-chief of his industry news website. He strictly follows Hasidic Judaism, and often finds that conflicts with is line of business. In addition to collecting and publishing industry insider news, Fayner always includes a plentiful dose of humor in his web articles.

Former Nevada Gubernatorial Candidate Mimi Miyagi Back To Work

Mercado writes:

When I was L.A., I had Friday night off. I wanted to see a porn star that night. I was in contact with Katjia Kissian and Mimi Miyagi. Because of their schedules, I want with Mimi. What was funny about the whole thing was that I and Mimi were staying in the same hotel. At the time, we agreed too, I just had to go down four floors to her room. When Mimi opened the door, she is a very attractive lady. Mimi was wearing a long black dress, but at certain key places, it was see through. We talked for a while and took care of business. We started too proceeded with the fun part of our evening. Mimi and I started to deeply kiss...

Hamilton Steele Update

Hamilton emails 12/23/06:

My wife owns several properties in the UK and conducts business from there. But I am not in england and I avoid association with all anglophone cultures. When we get together it is off the coast and whenever she is shooting on location. My involvement in the porn industry is negligable and only through Kelly. I have long since found my way in life and retired as a result thereof.

None of my affairs have anything to do with the porn industry. So if anyone has questions, comments, concerns or anything else involving smut I ask they contact my wife. She was my suitcase pimp in L.A. and has always been the one that called the shots in all porn or sex industry endevours. When it comes to such matters I have always done and said what she tells me.

The majority of my time is spent on my boat. BUT we are not seperated, getting divorced or having marital problems. My wife has specific goals she wants to accomplish and I support her decisions. I am a grandfather raising my deceased son's child and unfortunately I do not have niether the time nor patience to share this path with her. She walks it alone.

Bob Armstrong Interview

He's the author of Vanilla Slim: An Improbable Pimp in the Empire of Lust.

I call him in San Francisco Thursday night.

Bob: "I'm working on a new book. A conventional memoir of drugs and alcohol in the family."

Armstrong was busted for pimping in 2000. "Even while I was doing it, I knew I would get a book out of it. I was reluctant to come out of the pimp closet, so I wrote a novel.

"I told my editor at the San Francisco Chronicle about it. Lynn Meyers said, 'That sounds like an interesting story.' It's the perfect response from an editor. I gave her a story on it and that ran in the Chronicle in December of 2002.

"Novelist Herb Gold saw the story and called my editor and said he really liked it.

"Herb and I got together. He got me an agent. He convinced to write the story as a memoir."

Gold blurbed Bob's book.

"I admit in my book that I'm a loser. I've bounced around all my life. I've had a number of jobs. I haven't been successful in any of them. I've never made a lot of money. I've never married. I'm a drifter. That feeling of failure, of being left behind when all your friends you went to college with, you're not in touch with anymore, but you hear from other people that they are successful. I've written for a lot of newspapers but always as a freelancer. A book is a lot more satisfying.

"I don't have a lot of friends. I've moved so much, I've lost touch with people. I didn't lose any friends from my book. It hasn't changed my life."

Armstrong began writing for Adult publications in 1993 with Portland's Exotic magazine. In 1998, it launched a San Francisco edition that only lasted two years because it could not garner enough advertisers.

"Girls would be coming into the office taking out ads [for escorting]... I put two and two together and decided I could do it.

"It's like the girl who goes to a strip bar and says, 'I don't mind stripping. The one thing I could never do is prostitution.'

"Now, she works a couple of years. It's grueling. She sees how much money the girls make in private booths, much more than lap dances. She decides to supplement her income with some hooking. She might sign up with an escort service.

"I've asked some escorts about stripping and they say, 'I would never do that. I would never take off my clothes and dance in front of a bunch of people.'"

Bob estimates he's slept with about 150 women in his life, paying directly for about 20 of them. "I think that's normal."

Luke: "I'm going to ask you some questions to determine if you are a sex addict.

"One. Were you sexually molested as a child or adolescent?"

Bob: "No. Not at all. My parents were very nice. They were alcoholics."

Luke: "Two. Do you regularly purchase romance novels or sexually explicit magazines?"

Bob: "No."

Luke: "Three. Have you stayed in romantic relationships after they become emotionally or physically abusive?"

Bob: "Yes. That ended in my thirties. I've never been violent with women. I've certainly been psychologically abusive to women as they have been to me."

Luke: "Five. Do you feel that your sexual behaviour is not normal?"

Bob: "Yes. After all, I've never been married. I run from women if they get too close."

Luke: "Six. Does your spouse (or significant other(s)) ever worry or complain about your sexual behavior?"

Bob: "No."

Luke: "Seven. Do you have trouble stopping your sexual behavior when you know it is inappropriate?"

Bob: "No. Except for when I was younger, I pushed too much."

Luke: "Eight. Do you ever feel bad about your sexual behavior?"

Bob: "No."

Luke: "Eleven. Have you ever worried about people finding out about your sexual activities?"

Bob: "No. Only when I was younger and cheating on some girl."

Luke: "Twelve. Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behavior?"

Bob: "Only when I was younger and using women sexually and pretending it was more than that."

Luke: "Thirteen. Have you ever participated in sexual activity in exchange for money or gifts?"

Bob: "Yes. In the early eighties, in my early forties, that was the first time I thought about visiting a hooker. Until that time, I'd never had a problem finding a woman I wanted to be with. But the age gap kept getting greater and greater. The pool of younger women who like to be with older guys starts shrinking rapidly."

"I do have byline fever."

"If I had a bad relationship with a chick, my response was not to go out to find somebody to bang the next night. It was more to withdraw for a while, a month or so."

"I fall more into the vanilla sex category. I'm not into anal sex."

Luke: "Seventeen. Do you find yourself having multiple romantic relationships at the same time?"

Bob: "Not anymore."

"I've never understood Lord Master Damien and his deep affection for black clothes and latex and leather."

Luke: "Twenty five. Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are?"

Bob: "I hope so."

I tabulate Bob's answers and announce, "You're not an addict. You're far less of an addict than I am. You got a two and I got a twelve."

Bob: "From what I read of your stuff, you don't strike me as a sex addict at all."

"I always read complaints that you're trashing people, but you just go out with your tape recorder and tape hours and hours and put them on a website. In some ways, you are truly an old-fashioned journalist. It's just straight objectivity. It's rare that I see your opinions."

I May Be A Sex Addict

I took this test and got a twelve -- midway between addict and non-addict.

Emily Nevermoore

More musings on Emily Evermoore’s hootenanny from Bob Armstrong, author of Vanilla Slim: An Improbable Pimp in the Empire of Lust:

Luke e-mailed Emily: "According to this post, AVN's Mike Ramone left a message on your machine asking for some sexual favor?" She did not reply, and when Luke later ran into her at a studio in Chatsworth he didn’t bring up his e-mail, but Emily quickly button-holed him and said, "I am not going to confirm or deny." But she didn’t stop there. "Let me just say that AVN has suddenly decided to do a feature article on me next month and they're putting me in their awards show and they've hooked me up with Wicked, Vivid and Digital Playground.”

Now at this point if I were Emily’s agent/publicist/representative/flack/pimp daddy, the first thing I would do is break into Mike Ramone AKA Lord Master Damien’s dungeon, make sure the “genetically superior being” is pre-occupied with another AVN contender worshipping his editorial throbber, rip off a red rubber ball and a gag to lock down Emily.

Nevermore, Emily Evermoore, nevermore.

But it’s too late for that, the cat is out of the bag. All Emily’s agent can do now is resort to spin control. It’s so refreshing, she’s so candid, just says whatever pops into her head. It’s a heartland thing, a girl from Kansas, all sweet and young and innocent and tasty as apple pie at the hootenanny.

But as Dorothy said when she landed in Oz, ”I don’t think this is Kansas anymore.” (Tip for Wicked, Vivid, or Digital Playground: cast Emily blowing the Tin Man.) We are in Pornlandia now, and given Emily’s not confirming or denying and then seeming to confirm, it looks like AVN’s former editor did go for a quid pro quo blow, or, as Todd Hunter has said of Ramone, this has “his fingerprints all over it.”

I’m the new intruder in this circus, so I’ll give Lord Master Damien the benefit of the doubt and say innocent until proven guilty. Either way I have mixed feelings about trashing AVN on the grounds of a trade out. Isn’t it quite natural that a guy who works for the trade publication that sponsors the awards ceremony would gobble up some of the apple pie? Should we really be appalled by this? Is it wrong? Yes, but one of the delights of both porn and prostitution is that they are wrong to the core. And if Lord Master Damien is guilty, I get a kick out of the fact he expects his clients to be on their knees and assume a proper worshipful attitude before his European fashion designer latexed bod and then, as he put it, ”gag on my Divine member.” This, while he’s groveling for pussy on voice mails.

As Emily told Luke, AVN did do a nice feature article on her, written by Eddie Adams. Emily told Eddie she likes having sex in front of the camera because it “sort of immortalizes part of my soul…I love the attention.” But Eddie’s story didn’t really penetrate Emily’s soul. That was left to Luke.

This is fascinating, because I would assume Emily felt comfortable and at ease with Eddie, while initially Emily was suspect of Luke when she talked to him during one of his endless patrols through Porn Valley while armed with his tape recorder. Wary of Luke, she told him he’d “twist” her story. “You tell the dirt side,” she admonished him, ”you only write what will bring out gossip.”

Luke asked her what crowd she hung out with in high school. Her response was riveting: ”I wasn’t allowed to go to high school, baby. I grew up a ward of the state. I was in orphanages, group homes, residential treatment centers. I didn’t get to be in the public. I was (among) the forgotten children.”

Gossip? No way. That says it all. That is Emily’s story. That is her soul. Now it could be bullshit, but I strongly doubt it, for it confirms what we all know about many of the women who jump in the porn biz: they were among the children tossed by the wayside.

I do think she’s fudging on her education. Not allowed to go to high school? Emily, give us the straight scoop here. Might you have skipped many classes and dropped out? Even wards of the state are required to go to school, and the educational system encourages them to stay there. Luke ended his conversation with this:

Luke: ”Baby, you can drive my car.”

Emily: ”Really? I just wrecked mine.”

It remains to be seen what will become of this wreckage, but one key to success nowadays is networking, and Emily sure knew how to network over at AVN.

Yes, Paul, There Is A Lord Master Damien

Fred writes:

Luke, isn't it a fact that you are Lord Damien, and this is really how you earn your living? You use your hovel as a dungeon to torture and humiliate clients. (I assume that, usually, the humiliation merely results from being at the hovel.) Further, isn't lukeisback.com just a front so people won't know the real Luke? Come on. 'Fess up.

Interestingly, Lord Damien's statements urging men to betray their wives/girlfriends would be good fodder for religious right propaganda concerning what happens to Christian civilization as gays become accepted.

All things considered, Lord Damien is hilarious.

I got this email:

DEAR EDITOR:

I am 48 years old.

Some of my little friends say there is no Lord Master Damien.

Darren Roberts says, 'If you see it on Lukeisback.com, it's so.'

Please tell me the truth; is there a Lord Master Damien?

PAUL FISHBEIN
9414 Eton Ave, Chatsworth, CA, 91311.

PAUL, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, PAUL, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, PAUL, there is a Lord Master Damien. He exists certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Lord Master Damien! It would be as dreary as if there were no PAULS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Lord Master Damien! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Lord Master Damien, but even if they did not see Lord Master Damien coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Lord Master Damien, but that is no sign that there is no Lord Master Damien. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest man that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, PAUL, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Lord Master Damien! Thank GOD! He lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Lord Master Damien: 'CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE, SERVICE MY GIANT COCK'

With the departure of Editor Mike Ramone from Adult Video News, I was feeling low Thursday afternoon. In need of some discipline, I put "Lord Master Damien" into Google.

The first two links went to lukeisback. The third read: "Find Bisexual Men for Adult Phone Sex at NiteFlirt"

I clicked on the link for details and found this:

I am evil, wicked, supreme LORD MASTER DAMIEN, the only real-f---ing-deal Master on Keen (not some clown in a t-shirt and sneakers calling himself a 'Master') and you will cheat on your f---ing cunt wife or girlfriend you closet faggot by servicing My huge f---ing cock; you know you can't resist; you're tired of that fat old hag and fantasize about sucking cock all the time; betray her love and trust by worshipping Me; I don't give a f--- about you loser; I only want to use and abuse you for your money and to get off on corrupting you and making you betray everything you hold dear. doesn't that make you tiny little "thing" stand at attention? you know you can't resist My wicked power, pig, so call Me now for My greater glory! I'll laugh at you while you gag on my Divine member and blow My load all over your f---ing face, then send you home to your fat-ass bitch....And if you're ever in L.A., cum see Me for real in My private, killer, fully-eqipped dungeon and I'll force you service Me in the flesh...AND CHECK OUT MY OTHER NASTY RECORDINGS YOU CUNTS: BRAND NEW!!! COCK WORSHIP: FAG FACE f---ING (Men Home Alone >Gay); Cum Worship a REAL Master bitch, not some phony (Find Men>BDSM/Fetish>Submissive Males); Rim My Asshole Bitch (Find Men>BDSM/Fetish>Masters); Greedy Master Will Gag You on My Huge Cock (Find Men>BDSM/Fetish>Masters); I Will Impale Your Ass with My Giant Cock (Find Men>BDSM/Fetish>Leather); Extreme Verbal Abuse: Listen at Your Own Risk Fag (Find Men>Men Home Alone>Gay); Verbal Fag Bashing: I'll Break You Bitch (Find Men>Men Home Alone>Gay) Cum Worship Your Master's Sweaty Feet Slave (Find Men>BDSM/Fetish>Feet/Shoes) OR, IF YOU'RE NOT TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY, CALL ME LIVE; COPY AND PASTE MY HOMEPAGE URL - http://www.keen.com/Lord Master Damien - ONTO YOUR BROWSER TO FIND ALL MY LIVE LISTINGS WIMP. Now hop to it.

Ramone gets five stars from 16 happy customers on the Niteflirt.com website.

Nburrows writes: "Everything in the recording came as advertised...i am embarrassed to have called and i don't know if i'll be able to look at my fiancee the same way now. Very dominant, very controlling...the recording was so intimidating i hung up early, but i am scared, because i think it may have changed me..."

JHC writes: "Wow! ! ! Lord Master Damien is awesome. He really knows how to push my buttons, laughing at me as I betray my wife… cause he knows I want to suck his cock so bad."

It costs only $2:29 a minute to get a recorded call from Ramone which seemed like a bargain to me. So I filled out my credit card information and sat by the phone for Mike.

This is what I heard (.wav file).

Mike Ramone responds:

Sorry to disappoint you Luke, but I've been out of the Lord Master Damien business for a few years now, But even if I wasn't, so what? Porn is all about fantasy - fantasy that more times than not has little to do with reality. Speaking of which, let me take this opportunity to say that I always find it amusing that in the porn industry of all industries, the fact that a male who is into fetish and BDSM is still grounds for attempted ridicule by some of the industry's more conservative elements. I mean, the banking industry might be one thing - but even there, as in all segments of society, there are BDSM adherents - but the porn industry?!? Cut me a break, why don't you? The fetish scene based in downtown L.A. that I was an integral part of several years ago was a sexually highly sophisticated one composed primarily of female tops and male bottoms (but not exclusively - there were some male tops and some female bottoms) and it, well, actually, fetish in general, has had an explosive influence on porn in the last half decade (a little movie from a few years ago named The Fashionistas, for starters, up to and including this year's Fashionistas Safado, The Story of O, Corruption and many others). There's hardly a porn release these days that doesn't have some fetish content, if not a lot. Fetish has always been part of the adult video scene, going back to Femmes De Sade and probably even further. And it always will be. Only now more than ever.

Tara emails: "Congratulations, you've hit an all-time new low even for you! Get that .wav file of Lord Master Damien's off your site, it's theft, because you're not a niteflirt.com affiliate. You are f--king horrible and I hope you get punched in the gut for this soon!"

I'm More Self-Destructive Than Holly Randall

And I don't even drink.

If I ever run into you in person, I'll probably put my head down and keep on walking. Not because I don't like you, but because I remember some nasty thing I did to you on this site.

I'm a keyboard warrior. In person, I'm a girl humming an Air Supply song.

Wednesday, A friend offered me the galleys of his new book. I replied: "I would love a copy...followed by an interview. Would you throw in a date with your wife?"

He replied that I'd have to ask her.

That Ho Emily Evermoore

From Bob Armstrong, author of Vanilla Slim: An Improbable Pimp in the Empire of Lust:

The flap over Emily Evermoore interests me since I was a pimp. I was not Emily’s pimp, but had she called me when I was running an escort service I’m sure I would have given her a slot in my stable among the pretty ponies. Somebody called “Disgusted Performer,” hereafter, DP (how fitting!), e-mailed Luke with a rant. DP seems to think Emily should be sent to the glue factory. DP is upset that boys over at AVN would consider Emily a legitimate contender for an AVN award on the grounds she told the trade publication “that she is not a porn star, she is a ‘HO,’ and basically says that porn stars are Pre-Madonnas.”

Well, Emily is not the first girl in the biz to take a slap at her sisters. They can slap back if they choose, as DP has done. But DP is off the deep end on the larger point, that Emily is a “dirty street walker” and such behavior is a terrible affront to a fine upstanding industry that celebrates the double penetration. And should Emily be disqualified as a contender for her honesty?

I doubt many in the industry would share DP’s view on filthy harlots, but a lot of people in the porn industry are gun shy about prostitution. This is the line one can’t cross in the sex industry, the line drawn by the law. In fact, I think the line gets crossed every time an adult DVD is produced. Porn films and prostitution both involve the exchange of money for sex.

Wait. The lawyer for a porn company is quick to point out a significant difference. Emily and her wood dude are acting. It’s a performance. Let’s be honest here. Maybe acting has something to do with it, but a porn star is getting paid for having sex in front of the camera. In fact, most of the girls in the industry, other than contract stars, get paid for each individual sex act, and this is calculated on a scale, more money for a gang bang, less for a blow job. That does begin to close the acting curtain.

I’d say the biggest difference between hooking in a hotel and doing the deed on camera for money concerns the client. Porn girls get to know their wood first so they can make it hot on camera. Over time they build up relationships with the wood. And the wood is not really a client—that’s the guy who buys the DVD. The call girl and her meatball are in and out of the hotel room in an hour. (But it is not unusual for a client to find one hooker he likes and spend a bundle on her over time.)

As far as the sex act itself, porn is far more demanding than prostitution. Guys who get it on with prostitutes generally want vanilla sex—a f---, a blow job, or half-and-half. Most escorts draw the line at anal sex. DP’s dirty streetwalkers might be more inclined if the money is right. Porn is a spectacle of anal sex. I suppose two guys could find an escort for double penetration, but that would be highly unusual. Prostitution is almost always a one-on-one deal in privacy. The gang bang? Escorts or streetwalkers would go for that, pulling in a pile of dollars on the train, but I’d say the chance of this happening is about one in a thousand. Maybe the fraternity will call for a big bash, although some years back a frat house at the University of Washington came under scrutiny when two nervous sheep were discovered in the basement on pledge night. The case never went to court, so we don’t know if the little lambs were working.

Overall, it does seem to me getting paid for sex in a porn film is prostitution. I’m not suggesting all the porn company moguls should be hauled into the dock and charged with pimping and pandering. I’m glad the law makes a clear distinction, but we should be happy the law is silly enough not to recognize the essence of the transaction by Emily the trollop walking the track in Vegas is identical to Emily’s performance in “Gang Bang on the Crap Table.”

Mike South replies to Bob Armstrong:

I read your book and your screed about Emily Evermoore. You are a pimp about like porn chicks are prostitutes..both of you are sorry excuses for the title. While I'm not one to pass judgement on your choice of livelihood you are a pitiful excuse for a pimp. A real pimp would laugh at you in the same way that a real prostitute would laugh at a porn girl being accused of turning tricks when she makes a movie. I suggest you read Donald Goines or Robert Beck, call yourself a pimp to one of those guys and they'd have laughed you out of your cell block.

Bob responds:

On your My Space page I noticed you described yourself as a "Gun Totin Libertarian Pornographer." That's cool, but I don't quite understand why you unloaded your shotgun on me. At least you were good enough to read my book before the blast.

You suggest I read Donald Goines or Robert Beck and both would have laughed me out of the cell block for calling myself a pimp. Under the law, I was convicted for being a pimp. Legally, that is what you are whether running an escort service from a house or hanging out on the street. But you have a point, and that is one reason I used the phrase IMPROBABLE PIMP in the sub-title. No doubt Goines and Robert Beck, AKA Iceberg Slim, would view me as a pretender, and I made that quite clear in my book, which includes a quote from Iceberg and a riff on his stature among young blacks. Why would you suggest I read Iceberg Slim when my book makes it clear that I have? What blew my mind in the slammer was the respect I got from black dudes in their twenties who, even if they thought I was a pretender, wanted to know all the details of my crime.

You say: "A real pimp would laugh at you in the same way that a real prostitute would laugh at a porn girl being accused of turning tricks when she makes a movie." Your use of the word "real" implies that Iceberg is a real pimp while a guy running an escort service is...what? A "pitiful excuse for a pimp" and therefore not a pimp? If not a pimp, will a facilitator for performance artists do?

As far as the "real prostitute" is concerned, I do think she would laugh at the porn girl being accused of turning tricks when she makes a movie, not because the hooker thinks the porn girl is doing something different than what she is doing, but because she is doing the same thing. And I made it clear the wood guy is not a trick. It is the exchange of money for sex that defines prostitution. Both of us agree there is a legal distinction here. The difference is, you agree with the distinction and I do not. But as I said, I'm glad there is such a distinction. I do not want porn to fall under the laws of prostitution. On this matter my position is libertarian. Your position is liberal because you agree with a twisted law. But I assume you would advocate both prostitution and porn be legal, as I do. (Well, I do have some reservations. Legal prostitution will drive the price down for pussy.)

Mike responds:

OK it wasn't really a shotgun blast because I don't know you well enough to know if I'd shoot you or not...I doubt it. But it amuses me to hear all the whites boys (I'm a smart ass white boy myself) professing themselves to be pimps and bringing up the Iceberg Slim references and all that, when in reality they are as far removed from peing a pimp as say...Derek Hay. On the other hand...You do write extremely well. Should I see you in Vegas I'll ask for that book to be autographed...So there.

Dan Miller Is An Honest Man

Howard Levine, super-salesman, emails:

As you know I very rarely , if ever comment on lukeisback, but this time I can't help myself.

After reading about accusations levied against Dan Miller, all I can say is Dan Miller is one of the most professional guys in this business. If being honest and humble is considered a fault, than he is guilty.

I am so glad Dan was promoted to the editor in chief, because number one, he deserves it. Number two, he is and always has been extremely fair to everyone. Number three, he is truly a gentleman.

This is a vast improvement for AVN and one that will surely keep them in the right direction, which is where they always have been. Congrats to Paul for making an excellent choice. I wish Dan all the best in the world, a really good guy.

The views and opinions are my own and I am speaking on my behalf only, no one elses.

AVN Changing Course?

Mike South writes:

I sense that AVN might be in the process of changing it's course. AVN has been under fire for a while for promoting misogynistic fare over good clean fun, for several years now aggressive and abusive titles have dominated its editors choices, particularly in the gonzo arena. I look for this to change. I think AVN as well as the market has become bored with train wrecks and will use it's influence to push the industry back towards quality product without the assaults.

Den of CAVR.com writes:

I have been working on New Year editorial that goes into analysis of AVN's Editor's Choice winners for 2006. The best chance a DVD has of making AVN Editor's Choice is if it has choking, being mean to the ladies and reviewed by Mike Ramone. No wonder the Industry is hurting. I hope you are correct that the 'Industry Leader' can get back to promoting good Adult Movies. My thanks to Mr. Paul Fishbein for a great start to 2007.

Mike Ramone responds:

I simply can't let such a blatant falsehood go unanswered. The magazine's 2006 Editor's Choices, as in previous years, reflected the gamut of adult fare, from story-oriented features to hard-edged gonzo. All staffers wrote Editor's Choices, and based them on their critical assessments, not mine. Some of the staff wrote more Editor's Choices than I did. In some issues of the magazine, I had no Editor's Choices, and other staffers had several. As far as what constitutes "good" porn, that's entirely subjective. Entirely ludicrous is Den's suggestion that vastly popular, critically-acclaimed hard-edge releases, rather than a glut of product, are somehow responsible for an industry sales slump. Den is either really bad at analysis or purposely distorting the truth for whatever reason. Hopefully his next post will be a little more fact-based. Actually, make that alot more fact-based.

The Traci Lords Reality Show

Ken Levine posts:

We met her at her manager’s office and to answer the obvious first question – she still looked pretty great. Not smoking but she made the transition into legal age very nicely. However, one thing was painfully apparent after two minutes – she was seriously unfunny. And yet, that didn’t stop her from LECTURING us on comedy. As we sat there dumbfounded listening to her drone on and on about what’s funny and what’s not I thought to myself, this is truly the nadir of my career.

Katarina Kat

James DiGiorgio writes:

I asked Katarina about herself and was surprised and fascinated to learn she had been a circus performer in Russia. Not just a circus performer but a trapeze artist! Wow! You don’t often meet circus trapeze artists on porn sets. According to Katarina, her circus career was cut short when she took a terrible fall from the trapeze. She showed me the scars on both her arms where steel rods had been implanted to facilitate her recovery. She also told me she recently had a child just 5 months ago. Day-um! She sure didn’t look like she’d gone through a major fall from a trapeze and recently had a baby. Her body was tight… I mean tight! And what a great attitude as well as personality! It was a delight to work with her.

Katarina was a natural in front of the camera. She was completely comfortable and uninhibited in the lights. And she could bend and contort her body in incredible and impressive ways. After getting all the requisite glamour shots, I asked her to get a little crazy and directed her into some decidedly non-porn-like poses. You know, just for fun. The image at the top of this post, with the Mick Jagger-ish tongue and the crazy and unusual pose, is my favorite from the “fun” shots. Now that I know about Katarina’s circus-performing past, I really hope I get to shoot her again and take even better advantage of her ability to control her body in front of a camera.

I Am Missing The Big Story About AVN's New Editor-In-Chief Dan Miller

Please Email Luke the juicy scoop.

James DiGiorgio emails: "Sorry, Lukey. No Scoop. But I will say this: I've known Dan a few years and he's a good guy, a hard-working guy, and a straight-up guy. Congratulations."

Jon emails:

Dan Miller ran avn.com better than anyone. His lateral move was based on three important facts- He is the best man for the job, he is next in line to replace Ramone, and Ramone f---ed up and made AVN look bad. There is no gossip or juicy story and anyone that thinks that says have the goods on this guy is flat out full of s---. In fact it will be fun watching anyone try and dig up s---. He is truly an honest guy which is very scary for everyone in this business. Maybe the awards will actually be interesting instead of predictable this year.

Say It Ain't So, Dan

A source writes:

Ah Luke I'm glad you posted this. I always thought Dan was quiet, thoughtful and professional until…..

A couple years back, Miller was busted by Fishbein for backdooring DVDs from AVN. AVN gets thousands of DVDs sent to them from companies for review, so Dan, and his partner in crime Lewis Adams currently of Damaged Pictures, would steal these DVDs out the back door right under Heidi, Paul and Mike Ramone's noses. The criminal twosome then whored the pieces out for $2 or $3 to various purchasers in the Valley.

Remember, Dan was BUSTED by Fishbein, but was allowed to stay on, for what reasons I don't know. This just speaks to the culture of corruption at AVN. I'm guessing Dan knows too much about AVN's shady business practices to even get fired after getting caught stealing.

Think this is bulls---? Why don't you ask Fishbein, Luke? If Fishbein denies this, he's an even bigger weasel than I thought.

Whenever I ask Fishbein anything these days, he just tells me he won't talk to me.

Lewis Adams replies:

When did I buy movies from Dan Miller? And if this really did happen, don’t you think Dan would have been fired. When you listen to pieces of s--- without asking the person involved you’re no better then they are. (You know I know who sent you this crap.) And no. I did not buy movies off of Dan Miller.

Stuart Wall from Smash Pictures emails:

Luke: You can use my name and print this word for word, since your "Source" article was not written by myself Stuart Wall-Smash Pictures nor anybody I know.

I just received a phone call from Lewis Adams threatening that he's on his way over here. It's funny when one assumes something. Lewis must have a dirty conscience from his past days working here.

I wish Dan Miller the best in his new position and will end this in those words. I've never had problems with Dan Miller and am sure he'll do a great job as Editor.

Tina emails:

Luke, I would like to point out that the accusation regarding Dan Miller "back door-in" product is completely and absolutely false. The truth is that Heidi "Icon" Pike was in a power play with Mr. Miller behind closed doors and as a result she accused him of being involved with something that she could not prove. Her attempt at sabotage was futile and obvious resulting in many discussions within the halls of AVN.

Dan Miller is know in the industry for being a stand up guy, and someone who won't take payoffs or play the "game". I think Paul's choice was not only wise but restores alot of the credibility that was lost in the whirlwind of Ramone and "industry Icon" Pike. Paul is paying attention to his magazine and I'm glad he won't be making another Tim Conely mistake. Miller is quiet and calm, but make no mistakes about it I have seen him assert himself and he will take this horse by the reins. I think everyone is happy and relieved as well as supportive because he really is a good guy.

Mark Kernes emails me: "Thanks for reminding us all that you haven’t stopped being a s---head."

The Star Factor

A mainstream publicist writes Mike South:

You are very short sighted in your answer to Japchick, consider that you are Fox, and you interviewed several of porn's top girls. Which interview do you air? When you show clips of your friend Jessica Drake does she carry the show or does your reporter have to turn her sound off and do a voice over?

It is not all just because of the name, this is where the publicist has NO power, this is PURE TALENT, Jesse, for example, has on camera charisma that most of the other girls do not have and never will have. So they air Jesse and what she says, but they show clips of Devon and do voice overs on her because she is boring as hell She answers in yes no, she doesn't interact w/ the viewer, she is totally stale on camera

Now add another factor, look at Jenna Jameson Arguably one of the first performers to stand up for f---ing on camera - no shame, bright enough to debate even if she loses. Now take others that it's clear that they don't want to do adult and they are NOT proud of what they are doing. They will never be porn STARS because they don't have confidence in their career.

A publicist cannot make a star. A publicist can media prep. A publicist can set up interviews. A publicist can turn the lights on. A publicist can know when to turn the lights off. But a star is a star, give a good publicist a star and a good publicist can make a celebrity.

All the other girls would be a waste of time because all they know how to do is suck and f--- and most anyone can do that.

Penny Flame Goes To Jail

She posts on MySpace: "I am going to jail tomorrow. The big house. the pen. Yeah. me. Big time street credits here. If you want to come to my candle lit vidgil, then I'm on a 24 hour hold down at the good ol Havasu Jail. Bring plenty of candles. It's gonna be a long night....."

Dan Miller Named Editor-in-Chief of AVN Magazine

Dan Miller has been named the new editor-in-chief of AVN magazine, effective immediately. Miller has been on the AVN editorial staff since August of 2001, starting out as an associate editor for AVN.com, where he led the website’s coverage of 9-11.

"I am excited about the future of AVN with Dan at the helm,” AVN President Paul Fishbein said. “I know that he will carry on the excellent standard that our previous Editor-in-Chief, Mike Ramone, set over the past six years."

I kept hearing for weeks that Mike Ramone would be fired.

I called Emily Evermoore, whose comments two weeks ago provoked a fever pitch of speculation about Ramone.

Luke: "Did you hear Mike Ramone got fired?"

Emily: "Ohmigod. They told me they wouldn't fire him. It wasn't because of the voice mail. Let me call Paul [Fishbein]."

Later, all I could get was a "no comment" issued by Emily's attorney Michael Fattorosi (he introduced her to her first agent, Joel Lawrence, at the Jan. 2006 AEE).

What kind of crazy mixed-up world do we live in where the Emily Evermoores of the world issue "no comments" through attorneys? This is not the wild wild west of porn that I once knew and loved. Then I'd hear, "I'll break your legs, buddy."

I ask another industry source about Ramone and get a "no comment."

There must be a juicy story here if normally outspoken people are giving me "no comment."

Here's my discussion question of the day: Who is Dan Miller?

In February, I wrote: "Dan Miller and his sniffles and his paper bags is the most mysterious [AVN employee]. Don't accuse me of engaging in inscrutable Asian stereotypes."

It sounded to me like Dan Miller had a drug problem but I'm told he's a hard worker who gets into the office early and demonstrates no signs of drug abuse.

Here's one nugget: Dan Miller's asked AVN employees (when they've sought him out) to go back to their office and IM him when they have questions.

Dan Miller is not a people person. He's an introvert. "He's the opposite of a gonzo journalist," says one industry player.

I've rarely heard people talk about Dan Miller. I've never met anyone with strong feelings about him.

I had a friend who kept asking me Sunday and Monday, "Why wasn't Ramone at the Playboy party? Ramone goes to all the big parties. He must be on his way out of AVN."

Saturday night at the Playboy mansion, AVNers were tight-lipped when asked about Ramone.

It reminds me of the AVN demise of Heidi Joy Pike.

The story that Paul Fishbein and company give to their friends about this is that the Emily Evermoore, Kami Andrews, Jenna Presley rumors did in Mike Ramone. There's more juicy stuff to this story but I don't have it yet.

Dan Miller is tight with Wicked Pictures. I believe they threw him a birthday party.

Why Dan Miller to run AVN? This is not about Dan and his journalistic and leadership skills. This is about the demise of Mike Ramone aka Lord Master Damien.

Since Gene Ross, AVN's leaders Darren Roberts and Paul Fishbein have probably not wanted to keep anyone around too long in case they get to know too much about how the business works. The rumors about Ramone were probably a good excuse to move Mike out.

AVN Editors over the years have been larger-than-life characters such as Gene Ross, Bryn Pryor, Tim Connelly and Mike Ramone. By comparison, Dan Miller seems colorless.

Dec. 19 is a slow news day so I ask around about this story.

One source laughs when he picks up the phone. He knows why I'm calling.

"Dan Miller seems to be devoid of arrogance and ego," says the industry player. "He strikes me as somebody who wants to be a journalist and bring journalistic standards to AVN. I don't see him using his position for sexual favors... I don't see him abusing his power."

"Dan Miller's stories are not about him. He's stayed below the radar."

"He doesn't have an obstrusive personality. He strikes me as a guy who's interested."

Publicist Scott Hoover emails: "Luke- I just read your article on Dan Miller taking over Editor-in-Chief duties at AVN - Congratulations Dan! He was the first person at AVN that I had any contact with when I started in adult PR 5 years ago, and has always been gracious with his time and extremely professional."

Even though this is the biggest story of the day, I'm struck by how little it matters. It's not going to affect how anybody does business or how anybody buys porn. On the one hand, AVN is bigger than ever, and this one personnel change is not going to make much of a difference in its bureaucracy and product. On the other hand, there are so many sources of information on porn that AVN does not matter as much as it once did.

Dan Miller is an organization man. He's not going to rock the boat.

Costa Rica-based AVN awards sponsor offers wagering on AVN awards

Tod Hunter writes:

You can't make this stuff up. You can actually deposit money with an offshore wagering operation and bet on the outcome of the AVN awards.

Just for the record, Nevada gaming laws prohibit gambling on events where anybody knows the outcome. Like the Oscars®, the results of which – although they are tabulated by an outside accounting firm and have a perfect no-leak record – are known by two select representatives of the accounting firm before they are announced.

Good thing that AVN found an Internet gambling website based in Costa Rica, far from those pesky bureaucratic quibbles.

Vanilla Slim: An Improbable Pimp in the Empire of Lust By Bob Armstrong

From Publishers Weekly:

Word spreads quickly among Armstrong's co-inmates: "You a pimp? This is not real! A white pimp. An old white pimp. How ya do that?" Armstrong (b. 1942), a "low-end journalist" (he reviewed porn DVDs for Exotic and freelanced for the San Francisco Chronicle) who had run Zen Escort Service for only eight months before getting busted, was nicknamed Vanilla Slim (a reference to the legendary black pimp Iceberg Slim). Actually, entrance to Pimpworld was absurdly easy: Armstrong ran a classified ad for "escorts" in SF Weekly, auditioned about 50 girls, chose six or so, charged johns $500 an hour and kept $150. The work was easy; the toughest part was getting a girl to her client on time; thereafter he'd loiter in a hotel lobby reading the New Republic and doing occasional lines of speed or cocaine until she reappeared. Aside from character studies of the girls, Armstrong passes along some nuggets: most escorts' capacity for common sense is "zero," lesbians make the best escorts "since there's no conflict of interest" and gay videos are generally more erotic and tasteful than straight ones. Armstrong offers funny, pungent lines interspersed with self-examining digressions, producing a funny read for the Imus crowd.

Bob writes: "Most of the street girls are black." He says escort services rarely employ black girls because there's little demand for them. (pg. 11)

"All escorts have boyfriends except lesbians." (pg. 20)

"All of us who work in the sex industry are cut off from normal existence. We are remote from other people except our fellow pervs." (pg. 33)

Porn Sales Dip Over Christmas

Then they rise to the New Year and return to normal by the second week of January.

Hentaikid writes on GFY: "It's always a bit depressing to get sales on Christmas..."

Lonestar Pornutopia Pictures From Quest Magazine

pic pic pic pic

Saturday Night At The Playboy Mansion

(L-R) Emillianna, Abbey Brooks, who? Regan Reese and Katarina Kat Regan Reese (middle), Katarina Kat pic pic pic pic pic Regan Reese, Katarina Kat pic pic pic Abbey Brooks (left) pic pic pic pic pic pic Video Secrets' Greg Clayman and his wife Gabriel Mr and Mrs Greg Clayman Chuck Tsiamis (co-owner of Video Secrets with childhood friend Greg Clayman) and his wife Renatta Chuck Tsiamis and Greg Clayman and wives Chuck Tsiamis and Greg Clayman and wives Chuck Tsiamis and Greg Clayman and wives Robert Klass, VP of Wicked Pictures Robert Klass Laurel Herz (Red Light District) and Bad Dog Laurel Herz and Bad Dog Anne Parker Anne Parker Erica Wienzveg Jillian Visusto, Erica Wienzveg Jillian Visusto, Erica Wienzveg Erica Wienzveg Erica Wienzveg Emillianna, Dave Cummings, Abbey Brooks Emillianna, Dave Cummings, Abbey Brooks Emillianna, Dave Cummings, Abbey Brooks Emillianna, Dave Cummings, Abbey Brooks Emillianna, Abbey Brooks Emillianna, Abbey Brooks Emillianna Abbey Brooks Abbey Brooks Abbey Brooks Abbey Brooks Abbey Brooks Abbey Brooks Abbey Brooks Abbey Brooks Abbey Brooks Erica Wienzveg, Jillian Visusto Erica Wienzveg, Jillian Visusto Jillian Visusto Jillian Visusto Erica Wienzveg, Jillian Visusto Erica Wienzveg, Jillian Visusto Aliyah Aliyah Aliyah Aliyah Aliyah Aliyah Aliyah Aliyah, Alyssah, VS's Flirt of the Year Aliyah, Alyssah Nick Manning, Mary Carey Mary Carey Nick Manning, Mary Carey Mary Carey Mary Carey Mary Carey pic pic Abbey Brooks pic pic pic pic Abbey Brooks , Abbey Brooks , Abbey Brooks pic Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Lily Page Lily Page Lily Page Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat Katarina Kat pic pic pic pic pic pic pic Abbey Brooks Abbey Brooks Gianna Jolie Maripossa Maripossa, Maripossa, Cousin Stevie, Maripossa, Cousin Stevie, Stefani Morgan Stefani Morgan Stefani Morgan Jay Grdina (L-R) Jay Grdina, Shanna Moakler, Dave Navarro Aliyah Mr and Mrs Steve Hirsch Shanna Moakler Darren Roberts Paul Fishbein Paul Fishbein Kevin Blatt, Scott Tucker KB, Scott Tucker KB, Scott Tucker Mary Carey, Nick Manning, Lanny Barbi Playboy playmate Playmates Lily Page, KB (his ex was named Abby Page) Lily Page, KB Lily Page, KB Lily Page, KB XBiz's Gretchen Gallen, Kristen Gretchen Gallen, Kristen Mary Carey Vivid's sales manager Howard Levine and Roxy Jezel on the bus ride back to UCLA More pictures

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Email Luke photo IDs.

Eddie Normous posts on XPT:

There's really nothing to say about the latest crop of luke's photos other than once again luke has destroyed yet another adolescent fantasy. who as a 15 year old didn't want to party at the playboy mansion, surrounded by beautiful women of low moral standing? who didn't want to hang out with the oh-so-cool celebrities photographed wearing sunglasses at 2am trying to look like their lives had any meaning whatsoever? luke has just revealed yet another mirage in the desert of life.

The Fatman posts: " Are these suppose to be PROFESSIONAL pics or just amateur candids? I've taken some bad digital pics, but I don't share them with people. Why post a pic if the subject looks AWFUL! It's like the pics a person uses of an opponent in an election. Is that just his style? Throw out a net and maybe something I catch will matter?"

I only wish my van was strong enough to accompany me.

Even though I have invested $2800 in it over the past month, it couldn't get out of the shop Saturday night for the big Videosecrets party at the mansion in Beverly Hills.

It's my first time at the Disneyland of sex and I'm excited.

I get a ride to UCLA and lug along my camera and a man purse containing a walkman so I can listen to the Cowboys game (they won 38-28)and the book The Friend Who Got Away: Twenty Women's True Life Tales of Friendships that Blew Up, Burned Out or Faded Away.

My tote bag weighs heavily on my tendonitis-ridden elbows.

My first hour at the mansion was a big thrill, but that might have just been a result of the Cowboy's fourth quarter.

I eat six chocolate chip cookies, five chocolate covered strawberries and four assorted desserts and wash them all down with camomile tea.

Some people have class and style and then there's me. I hold my food awkwardly and smear it over my face while I eat, my tote bag hanging off my left arm.

We're in tents outside the home where Hef lives and parties. We have the pool and the grotto and free walk of the grounds. There are tours.

Twenty years ago when I worked in landscaping, I was intrigued when my friend Cheryl H. told me she worked here in Hefner's zoo. She said some of the Playmates lay out topless. I dreamed that one day I would be at Hef's mansion hanging out with topless beauties. Now I am and it's no big deal. All the people I will want to tell about my night I can't tell because they would ask too many questions and it would reinforce my image as "the porn guy."

I'm like the rabbi who went golfing on the Sabbath and got a hole in one.

The party is first rate. The dancing girls are gorgeous and the food and drink are exquisite and free.

We can't get into Hef's home but his Playmates come out for 20 minutes and the monitors show recorded footage of Hef dancing with young women and hugging celebrities.

Socially phobic (or just bored and out of place?), I spend a lot of time in the dark with Hef's monkeys.

I started taking wellbutrin (75 mg a day) six weeks ago, and while it adds to my energy (and diminishes my sex drive), it also increases my impatience and anger.

Kami Andrews emails:

wellbutrin is really bad stuff, I told you before but maybe think about talking to you doctor. It gave me seizures and made my guy really violent (both of us taking one a day) my seizures were after 3 days but at the time I wasn't eating, the longer you take it the worse it seems, his reaction was after like 6-8 weeks. It would put him in full blown rages. I know every one thinks it's a wonder drug, but I think it's really bad. He got better after being off it for about a week., took me a week to 10 days to get normal blood pressure and s---

I don't suffer fools as gladly as I did two months ago.

A drunk Mary Carey repeatedly asks me to marry her.

I chat with Jason Tucker and his wife Gail Harris.

"We had Nikki Hunter and Tera Ray (Pleasure's new contract girl is from Kentucky) in our jacuzzi at our house," says Jason, "and we shut down the production of this horror movie Hyenas. We were shooting simultaneously. We had their director, assistant director, producer, DP, actors all sitting there ringside like deer in the headlights. They were guys who had never seen that before."

I'd like to believe that Vivid owner Steve Hirsch made some sort of nod acknowledging my presence.

I don't bother him nor AVN's Darren Roberts and Paul Fishbein and they don't bother me and get me kicked out.

Scott Tucker of Topco Sales is accompanied by his wife who stands a few inches above him. She's Asian and looks formidably smart. I believe Scott's father has a young Chinese wife.

I need a Chinese wife.

I grow bored by 10 p.m. and finally leave at 11:45 p.m.

I decide to walk six miles home.

After one mile across the UCLA campus, I give up at the W hotel in Westwood and take a taxi. Eighteen bucks with the three dollar tip.

It'd be nice to have friends.

Khunrum writes:

You were invited to the Playboy mansion?...Very Impressive. Next step...The White House.

Luke is partying with Hef..... could lunch with Arnold at the Governor's Mansion be the next surprise? Rabbi Pushkin, eat your heart out.

Fred writes: "Luke, the polite thing would be to invite Hugh Hefner to the hovel in return."

Bob writes: "Invite the old boy over for some soy milk and a DP. Where's your hospitality?

"Luke, Have you considered pitching yourself as a porn correspondent to the new English language version of Al Jazeera? You should get in on the ground floor now."

Khunrum writes: "Al Jazeera? Any relation to that guy Al Nino, the fellow who is causing all the bad weather. I read somewhere that a guy named Al Nino in L.A.gets death threats from folks annoyed with his tampering with the climate."

Alec Helmy, owner of XBiz, emails:

Someone is going around telling people that I once said something like "I'm going to bury you guys" to AVN.

Those who know me well will attest to the fact that I just don't speak like that, nor would I disrespect the industry's longest-running media company.

Kelly emails: "Luke: Here you are on the PBoy Mansion site for an OUTSIDE party, where smoking is STILL allowed in California (I think) and you could only come up with a sparse, very sparse, number of candid pxs, showing porn stars smoking????? HOLY MOSES!!!!"

Smoking was banned in the tents. A lot of porners don't like to be photographed smoking. They're fine with being photographed while being sodomized by gangbangers however. I guess all of us, whether we like it or not, are role models.

Chris emails:

As a long-time guest of the Playboy Mansion parties, it cracks me up when I see people congratulating you for being invited to the mansion, like it's some big deal. Do these readers really believe that Playboy Enterprises or Hef himself has ANYTHING to do with the guest list for a Video Secrets party? The truth is, the Playboy Mansion is available for anyone who can pay the $100k+ to rent the back yard. (And no, Hef does not own the mansion; he himself rents his personal areas). The place gets rented out all the time, it's nothing special.

Playboy Enterprises have a thriving catering business and there are private parties, weddings, kick-offs etc. at the Playboy Mansion several times per week. You can rent some Playmates and even Hef himself to make an appearance to add to the glamour. It's all offered when you rent the location. BUT this is in no way like what most people consider a 'Playboy party'; like the private Midsummer Night's Dream, Halloween or New Year's Eve parties which are in fact hosted by Hef himself and are totally free for the selected guests.

When you go to a party at a famous spot thrown by random corporate people, all you are getting is an outside tour of a beautiful house and a glimpse of what may go on there. I mean hey, why not throw a party at Graceland and hire some hookers to walk around in sexy outfits singing Elvis songs? Then someone can say they've been to a party at Elvis' house. It's just not the same thing. What people really want is to go to a private Hef party and be a part of something historical.

But for those who think they will never get an invitation to a 'real' Playboy Mansion party; here is the trick for at least getting onto the grounds for a little bit of money: Playboy offices can refer them to the organizers of upcoming events for that person to purchase a ticket. Contact the Playboy company, find out who is throwing events and go to one for 200 bucks or less.Two years ago the Democrats threw a party there, with half-naked trailer park trash, and C-list celebrities. Events like that are accessible to anyone.

That said, you won't really be going to the real thing, but you can always tell your friends you went to a 'Playboy Mansion party'. Much like the Video Secrets party the other night.

Chaim Amalek writes:

These women, for the most part, look very, very used, like a car that has seen a lot of very hard miles and looks it, notwithstanding its recent model year. That is why they remind me of New York City cabs. And what's with their breasts? Even I, at 400 barely mobile pounds and with all my hygiene problems, would turn down most of them, and I certainly would not be able to get aroused with many of them. (The ruggela sold at Zabars have been my downfall. Sugary snacks and penile function do not go well together.) Back in the day when I was a young man, shiksas were true Goddesses, with full natural bosoms and long thick blonde hair of the sort that the Vikings had. Think Kim Novak, Anne Margaret Olson, Inger Stevens etc. Nowadays, unprotected by their men, they have been beaten down to the basest of levels, and are sentinels of the broader decline of European civilization.

Luke, people might take you more seriously as a journalist if you were more selective about the information you post, including these photos. Why not just pick a few to illustrate whatever point you think needs to be made, instead of doing a core dump?

By the way, who is older - Hugh Hefner, or Fidel Castro?

Roxetta Update

We talk Sunday afternoon about this crazy misspelled rant on her MySpace Oct. 22 that Roxetta says was done by Mickey G to make her look bad.

Roxetta emails me:

No one wants to deal with me and the sad thing is that this is all because Mickey couldn't just let go.

Ken Harmon has never been homeless. He is a professional carpenter and woodcarver by trade. He creates furniture, cookware, and figurines made of wood. He is extremely talented. He also lays hardwood floors. He is a beautiful person and is a messianic jew, reading the bible often. He has never bragged of murdering anyone and never has. He is understands my situation and believes that we are sinners and imperfect but can still try to do the best we can to do right.

I was away from the internet for sometime because we were asked to leave the half million dollar condo I was leasing in Toluca Lake, because of Mickey's behavior problems. We moved into Ken's old home, where he roomed with two other woodworkers, sometimes we would rent hotel rooms just to be alone. There was often not a computer or it was a public one. I had the movers place my computers and belongings in storage. Mickey began slandering me through press outlets and "hackinginto my MySpace account to become imposter. It took time realize exactly how much damageonline that he was doing. While destroying reputationat the same also upsetting me by sending daily text messages and phone callstelling badly doing financially. AsI quit responding him became more urgent. Then they violent. had many read police detectives stating things such as: Silence is best for you...We would make horrible enemies...As little ken say Peace Outknow what mean?...At birth am Michael Archangel of Battle...I have 40 years connections in LA go along with wrinkles....I do not lie about connections.All this detective. police/detectives are certain Mickey means business exhibiting extremely dangerous behavior.

I have had break ups in my past. However, I do not think I have ever suffered from someone so greatly. I have always tried to see the good in Mickey. However, as I still learn about things he has said or written, it becomes more obvious to me each day that he has been working hard to destroy me.

One day, I received a phone call from a friend of mine, saying "Congratulations on the baby." I asked "What are you talking about?" To my recollection, it was posted on a site, similar to yours, that I was pregnant. I had to make yet another phone call, to have another untrue remark removed from records. Then, I learn about how I am not only supposedly pregnant, but am stating on my own MySpace page loads of nonsense that came straight from his mentally disturbed mind. Does he claim to be psychic now?

I have heard reports of Mickey cirrculating adult industry parties and mingling with people. Lord only knows if it was some rotten campaign to hide what he did and have everyone believe that I am the horrible person. I am baffled that he was even going into public, after police had been working to find him. I am ready to put this mess behind me.

My mother is telling now, "Before you stay with someone for a while, break up with them first, just to make sure that they are not going to be out to get you, in case you ever do have problems."

Roxetta tells me over the phone: "I have never done crack cocaine. I have never been a streetwalker. I admit I was on Oxycontin for a while. I smoked weed."

She tells me about the time Mickey G. blinded Roxetta's boyfriend Ken Harman: "I saw Mickey going into the door with a knife in his hand and a plastic cup filled with a yellow liquid.

"When I walked out of the elevator, I saw Mickey running out of the house.

"When I walked in, Ken was soaking wet. His tongue was bubbling up. He was screaming. He said Mickey splashed it in his face and came at him with a knife.

"Ken is a professional woodcarver. He keeps several types of knives. He had a knife on him. He said to Mickey, 'You are not going to murder me this way.'

"Mickey was sending me text messages that he was going to hire the president of the Hells Angels to take care of me and Ken if we spoke out. He called himself Michael the Archangel of Battle.

"He was sending me these threatening text messages that the detectives saw and have. He sent me about 50 in one day. He stalked me. I filed police reports against him for stalking and for making terroristic threats.

"Ken is seeing a cornea specialist and has a surgery scheduled where they will take the eye socket out of his skull and scrape the scar tissue off. He's permanently blinded. He has a lot of surgeries ahead of him."

Joe Loughlin and Pink Kitty Video

Chris emails:

As talent in the industry I have cause to deal with most every company at some time or another. I think an error has been made and needs to be corrected. Dennis Ormand has been very unfairly lumped into the same pile of dog s--- as Joe Loughlin. I can see why this happened as they are business partners but it is still a bit unfair.

In my dealings with Pink Kitty, Joe has continulously tried to f--- me over, lie to me and scam me. I have had pay checks held for a month past when I was due the money while Joe refused to return my calls. I have watched Joe lie and scam girls to do extra work while paying them no extra money. I think Joe Loughlin is a piece of s--- and shoul dbe run out of the adult biz. On the flip side of that is his partner, Dennis Ormand. Dennis has never been anything but professional and I have never heard even one bad thing about him. Quite the contrary, he has the reputation of correcting all Joe's f---s ups and seems unwilling to particiapte in Joe's lies and scams. I watched him once with my own eyes pay a girl out of his own pocket when Joe shorted her pay check. Dennis, and I quote, said, " I am not going to fight with any female talent over 100 bucks.".

I have heard many times that if you have a financial issue with PInk Kitty Video that contacting Dennis is the fastest way to get it fixed. I even read his reply to Donny Long and his reply was very political in the face of fairly agressive actions. A bit too agressive if you ask me. Shame on you Donny for threatening children. I guess that is all I have to say. Dennis and I are not personal freinds as we only see one another on Pink Kitty sets and I guess he moved back to Wyoming. I defeinatly want to make sure that Dennis Ormand is not lumped in same class as that piece of s---, Joe Loughlin. Dennis is one of the good guys and a rare breed in the X bix.

Jenna Presley Speaks Up For AVN's Mike Ramone

Jenna: "I was just calling because of the rumors going around about Mike Ramone. I wanted to say they are not true. Mike asked me to call you."

Luke: "What was the rumor?"

Jenna: "You had contacted Mike because of something saying that if I had sex with him, I'd win Best New Starlet. But nothing was ever said like that."

G-d Has A Plan For Mary Carey's Life

Fatman writes on XPT: "If a porn star goes to visit the troops in Iraq, does that make her the "whore of Babylon?"

John writes:

As an avid NBA Basketball fan, it's great to see a young man with devout principles and strong work ethic such as Dwight Howard excel in the league. The last thing this guy needs is a pill-popping trainwreck hanger-on conning her way into his life as a lost lamb yearning for salvation. Someone tell Mary Cary that religion isn't a fashion accessory, and ask her to please not f--- the kid up. I'm sure Shawn Kemp would be a readily available and more appropriate object of her affections.

Ernest writes: "God can work his magic through anyone, even a hooker like MC. I wouldn't be surprised if she heals a few lepers in the near future."

The Fall And Fall Of Rodger Jacobs

In his 20s, Rodger fell in love with his image of the drunk broken-down writer.

Now he's become one.

He's off his meds and self-medicating with alcohol.

Inappropriate Places I've Had Sex

* My preacher daddy's bathtub.
* I tried to have it unobtrusively under the covers in my dorm room at UCLA while my roommate did his homework, but he ended up leaving the room.
* I tried to seduce my girlfriend under the ark in shul where the Torahs are kept but she said no.
* I tried to get it on with my girlfriend in the rabbi's office during services Saturday morning but the security guard stopped us.
* In the back of my girlfriend's stationwagon in the shul parking lot but the police came and stopped us. Luckily one of the policemen knew me so we were not arrested. (These last three incidents were at a Conservative synagogue.)
* I used to keep a mattress in the back of my van along with towels to cover the windows...

This was all a long time ago. I'm a different man today.

Khunrum writes: "Is it because you're less horny? Viagra too pricey? Women won't get inside that wreck of a van anymore? Different in what way? Monogamy?"

The most inappropriate people I've had sex with? Well, no family members. Nobody underage. No rebbitzens.

What's Going On At Larry Flynt Publications?

I hear that since Jim Kohls left in early 2005, Larry Flynt and his wife Liz have been running the place day to day and all important decisions have to go through them.

Larry and Liz are often away for weeks at a time, and with Larry's health troubles, that causes things to back up.

LFP changed its production insurance a few months ago. LFP decided that the Clarendon Group was requiring too many restrictions and the other company that insures porn shoots (insures Vivid, it is out of Kansas City but I don't know the name of the company) was too expensive. Larry Flynt decided that it would be better for LFP to purchase a two million dollar bond to insure their video shoots (they are self-insuring). You can't get a permit to shoot without production insurance.

I early published that LFP self-insured because it could not get production insurance. I was wrong. It turns out LFP decided it was easier and less expensive to self-insure.

I wouldn't be surprised if Entertainment Brokers International aka the Clarendon Group of Companies stopped insuring porn companies (if there are catastrophic lawsuits against porn shoots).

I hear there is no chance that Jim Kohls will return to LFP.

When Jim was president, Larry was the CEO and visionary. Jim took care of the details.

When Jim left, Larry took over the president's role. He determines who gets hired to shoot movies.

Mickey G Still In L.A. County Twin Towers Jail

I talk to porn star/escort Roxetta Thursday morning. "On August 28, Mickey permanently blinded [Roxetta's boyfriend Ken Harman].

"We lived together with Ken [Harman].

"Mickey grew marijuana plants on a couple of balconies. The police were called and I was arrested and charged with a felony. I broke up with Mickey and told him I did not want to see him again.

"Then, when he was in jail, I was lonely. We had a drink. I decided I would keep him around to keep me company. I didn't have a dog or a cat. He said, 'I have nowhere to go. I'll be out on the street. My family doesn't want me. I've given up everything for you.'

"The three of us get intoxicated and we engaged in protected sex.

"I started having sex with Ken and Mickey would watch and masturbate.

"One day Mickey goes berserk. I suppose because he was not in the room [when Ken and Roxetta had sex]. He happened to open a door and we were there without him.

"Mickey pushed me down on the ground and smothered me. I ran and grabbed the phone and dialed 9-1-1. The police came by. I felt responsible for the incident. It was stupid for me to have two men in the same house and try to carry on a sexual relationship with two men. It's not normal. They're going to butt heads.

"I didn't show up to court four times in a row [to testify against Mickey for assaulting her] and a warrant was issued for my arrest.

"There's a restraining order placed by the state to prevent Mickey from seeing me or contacting me, even through a third party.

"Mickey was gone for about a month. Then he comes back and walks in the house. He says, 'This is my house and these are my family heirlooms and I'm on the lease here.'

"I said, 'Michael, it is over. Please pack your things and go.'"

Whatever Happened To Mark Cromer's Lawsuit Against LFP?

I asked Cromer (former Features Editor at Hustler magazine) and he said the case was discontinued [with prejudice] in August.

My guess is that the case was settled and that a non-disclosure agreement was signed by both parties.

I am sure that if LFP won, they would have announced it.

There have been about six Features editors at Hustler magazine in the past two years since Mark Cromer left.

Hans Feuersinger was fired a month ago. I wonder if Hans will also file a lawsuit for wrongful termination.

Mary Carey - Dwight Howard Update

We talk on the phone Wednesday morning.

Mary: "We're talking. We're still friends. I'm saving my conversations with him because I saw on one of the websites that he said, yes, he did leave me tickets but he denied coming over. I didn't like that.

"I went to his game with the Clippers and I wore a white fur coat and a big cross. The whole team was looking at me. During a time-out, he looked over at me and I held up the cross and he shook his head and laughed. He's super-religious."

Luke: "Have you guys had sex?"

Mary: "No. Maybe we never will because he's so Christian. He's taught me a lot about the Bible. He has me read different Bible verses. Amelia and I will sit in the hotel room when I feature dance and discuss it with him on Instant Messenger."

Luke: "How's Amelia holding up?"

Mary: "She quits every day."

"That's AVN on the other line. Shall I keep talking to you? Yeah. I can call them back."

"Tawny's [Roberts] having contractions. She looks forward to going to basketball games again."

"People are really dumb around here [Fort Lauderdale]. I can't stand stupid people. When you go down to Miami, it's like another country. People move really slow. People are lackadaisical. I get bored. I've always got to be doing something."

AVN Tried To Buy XBiz?

Former AVN journalist and current XBiz blogger Gram Ponante writes: "With several high-profile companies opting not to have booths at January's AVN Expo, it is easy to see XBiz on the rise and AVN on the wane, at least in the perception of the adult industry. I'd heard from several people that AVN made at least one offer to purchase XBiz as recently as the summer of 2005."

Girls Day Out

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I arrive on set at 9:40 a.m. There are three girls. The scene calls for eight. The call time was 9 a.m.

I chat with Rebecca Steel.

Luke: "What do you love and hate about being in porn?"

Rebecca: "I hate that your boyfriends [three over the past year] get all freaked out about you being in porn and you're never really secure with somebody because you're always traveling. Everything else I love. It's like an art."

Rebecca spends two weeks of the month working in Los Angeles and then two weeks a month back home in Colorado "[where] I just chill with my kids."

"I watch how much I drink, sometimes. I'm getting responsible."

"The reason I decided to do [porn] was for my family. I'm here for my kids."

In the kitchen, a perky Aliyah Jolie asks: "Is everyone ready for Christmas?"

From upstate New York, Aliyah entered porn with Nadia Hilton, who's found a millionaire and left the industry.

A former graduate student in Art, Luscious Lopez has been in porn for two years. The money is better than in academia.

Luscious talks about a male actor who got offended when she wouldn't come out of the bathroom to greet him when she was in the middle of her douche.

Fallon says she was busted for marijuana last week by the Burank Police Department and had to spend two days in jail because of an outstanding D.U.I. warrant.

I hear an actor say that he will kill anyone who shoots his daughters in porn. "I swear on my mother's grave. I do it so they won't have to. My daughters have me wrapped around their finger."

Mike Cline emails:

I saw your picture of Henri Pachard sleeping on the Set of "Girls Day Out". I hope things are doing OK for him -- I heard he's been undergoing cancer treatment. How's the prognosis? My dad died of lung cancer when he was 58 so my heart goes out to him. I sincerely hope he pulls through. Tell him I have been a big fan of his for a long time. I really loved a lot of the 16MM films he used to do back in the 80's -- a true master. I was just watching, "She's So Fine" -- funny stuff. The guy was always a great writer, not just a director of adult films. He's the craziest/most imaginative guy I know, short of Alex De Renzy! Just tell him he has a lot of fans still out there, and that we are wishing the best for him!

Roxetta: 'Mickey G. Not Evil, But Insane'

Roxetta emails me Dec. 28, 2006:

Hi Luke, Ken and I never had a confrontation at Mickey's house. That would be illegal, right? Ken was never at Mickey's house. Why would you think something like that? I will tell you how Mickey was found. Ken and I had an argument over me not doing my part and assisting police further about his case. He claimed that I was having second thoughts on having Mickey put away and that I still had feelings for Mickey and that I wanted him to get by with what he did. I did not check in with the detectives as often as I should, he said. He kept bothering me about it, so I called Mickey and told him that I wanted to see him. I went alone, without Ken's knowledge. I got the house number and gave it to police.

Roxetta posts Dec 11 on ADT:

Please everyone understand that Mickey is NOT a bad person, he has a very sweet heart and I will ALWAYS love him. I hurt for him. He did a bad thing but he IS a mentally ill person. He talks to himself, he has tried to hang himself on many occasions. Everyone may agree that he is insane, but they can also agree that he can be the sweetest man you could ever meet. He simply got caught up in a rage of passion. I love you Mickey. May god be with you. I cry for you.

I have to go to court on Dec 30th as a witness against him. I am not against him, but they are making me tell what I witnessed. I do not want him put into a prison. Ken does. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I just want to die. What should I do?