AVN AWARD WINNERS!
see the whole list here http://avnawards.avn.com/winners/
Best Actor
Eric Swiss
Not Married With Children XXX
Best Actress
Kimberly Kane
The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Parody
Best Adult Website
BangBros.com
Best All-Girl Couples Sex Scene
Field of Schemes 5
Girlfriends Films
Lexi Belle
Tori Black
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Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene
Deviance
Adam&Eve Pictures
skinworXXX
Eva Angelina
Teagan Presley
Sunny Leone
Alexis Texas
Best All-Girl Release
Evil Pink 4
Belladonna/Evil Angel
Best All-Girl Series
Women Seeking Women
Girlfriends Films
Best All-Girl Three-Way Sex Scene
The 8th Day
Adam&Eve Pictures
Poppy Morgan
Tori Black
Bree Olson
Best All-Sex Release
Evalutionary
Elegant Angel Productions
Best All-Sex Series
Addicted
New Sensations
Best Anal Release
Ass Worship 11
Jules Jordan Video
Best Anal Series
Evil Anal
Evil Angel
Manuel Ferrara Productions
Best Anal Sex Scene
Anal Cavity Search 6
Erik Everhard/Jules Jordan
Erik Everhard
Sasha Grey
Best Director, Ethnic Video
Jules Jordan
Lex the Impaler 4
Jules Jordan Video
Best Director, Feature
David Aaron Clark
Pure
David Aaron Clark/Evil Angel
Best Gonzo Release
Tori Black Is Pretty Filthy
Elegant Angel Productions
Best Gonzo Series
Jerkoff Material
Jules Jordan Video
Mike John Productions
Best High End All-Sex Release
Deviance
Adam&Eve Pictures
skinworXXX
Best Interactive DVD
Interactive Sex With Tori Black
Zero Tolerance Entertainment
Best Male Newcomer
Dane Cross
Best MILF Release
It’s a Mommy Thing! 4
Elegant Angel Productions
Best MILF Series
Seasoned Players
Tom Byron
Evolution Distribution
Best Music Soundtrack
Live in My Secrets
Vivid Alt
Best New Line
Mile High Media
Reality Junkies
Best New Series
Glamour Girls
Elegant Angel
Best New Starlet
Kagney Linn Karter
Best New Video Production Company
Bluebird Films
Best New Web Starlet
Lexi Belle
Best Non-Sex Performance
Thomas Ward
Not the Cosbys XXX
X-Play/LFP
Best Screenplay
Throat: A Cautionary Tale
Vivid Entertainment Group
Raven Touchstone
Best Solo Sex Scene
Not the Bradys XXX: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia
X-Play/LFP
Teagan Presley
Best Video Feature
The 8th Day
Adam&Eve Pictures
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Director of the Year (Body of Work)
Will Ryder
Female Performer of the Year
Tori Black
Male Performer of the Year
Manuel Ferrara
MILF/Cougar Performer of the Year
Julia Ann
The Jenna Jameson Crossover Star of the Year
Sasha Grey
Transsexual Performer of the Year
Kimber James
Unsung Male Performer of the Year
Derrick Pierce
Unsung Starlet of the Year
Shawna Lenee
Web Starlet of the Year
Sunny Leone
OK, Teagan Presley could be Missy, what a look alike!
Looks like a Great show. Congratulations to All.
Today, my dear friend Annette Schwarz wrote about the AVN and the current state of porn. She sums up the issues perfectly. You go, girl.
AVN 2010 – Porn Convention?!?
By Annette Schwarz January 15, 2010
Okay, this year I really can’t give you some insider news, since I didn’t appear on AVN show.
I think it’s pretty clear what I think in general about porn award shows. It’s always the same bullshitting. If you are shooting for a big company, you get nominated. Nobody at AVN really cares about the real good performers. It’s really rare that the nominations are reasonable. Another big reason that I didn’t go over there: It isn’t a Porn Convention; I mean there are girls in clothes,fully dressed, posing and they are porn stars. No nudity or sex. Fuck that, that’s so boring. Also I don’t find the latest revolution (not that there has really been one in the US market) in porn, not really inspiring. I mean Porn Parodies, that’s so unsexy. Porn gets softer because of the laws, the girls not only look the same, also make the same noises, poses and moves.
On another note and as I mentioned several times on different occasions , it’s because of the girls like Annette Schwarz and of course the money that I make porn. To me, everything else including the awards and the conventions are bullshit. To those of you who are into collecting those plastic trophies, I suggest you make a shelf in your bathroom and put them on display. That’s the only use for a porn award I can think of; but hey, to each his own.
Annette Schwarz sounds totally unsexy and completely clueless. I hope in person she is not as boring as she sounds.
I assure you Annette Schwarz is funnier and sexier than the likes of Kayden Kross that you get to poorly imitate movie and TV characters in your videos, Will. I understand though, she’s too much for you. Stick to parodies and making vanilla, family approved softcore flicks and collecting plastic trophies, partner. If that’s what you need to stroke your ego and feel somewhat good about yourself, so be it; bless your heart. Just remember to make that shelf in your bathroom so you can put your porn awards on display there.
I was waiting for you to stick it to the “big man”, Colonel. Welcome back.
“Annette Schwarz sounds totally unsexy and completely clueless. I hope in person she is not as boring as she sounds.”
Do not mess with my German piss Princess!!!
She is hardly boring. If fact, you cannot expect what she is going to do the next minute.
And her blog rules!!
Right on Origen; and as Harvey pointed out, Annette Schwarz is unpredictable. I’ve worked with her a number of times, she’s one of the most beautiful, daring, innovative and unique girls in porn today. She enjoys extreme acts, and doesn’t afraid to push the envelope. She improvises a lot during her scenes, and that increases the erotic effect of her scenes significantly. For example during one of the scenes I shot with her, she shoved her panties in her asshole, slowley pulled it out and wore it on her face. Then told the guy to jerk off on her face. That was fucking incredible.
Cheers to my German hardcore queen Annette Schwarz.
Agree with you Colonel, totally unpredictible and really nice too anyway I will never understand about her big interest for the pissing affaires lol we could say a lot of things of Annette but never she is boring 🙂
It’s not just the pissing affairs, Pepe, in fact Annette Schwarz is into everything extreme from DP to enema, fisting, etc; all the stuff that true at heart porn whores are made of. It’s not about the make up and glamour. Fuck that; it’s about what a whore can do to make your cock hard and your jaw drop. Oh yeah.
Colonel don’t forget when she open her eyes waiting for the guy’s cum 😉 I never saw that in another performer, crazy and funny Annette plus she loves Madrid, is her favorite town.
Tell you what, Pepe, next time Annette Schwarz comes to Madrid, you should do an interview with her and take close up pictures of her nice, round ass.
Viva España.
And Viva Anette!!!!
Annette is one has one of the best round and hot asses in all CEE, she is funny and dirty as hell, probably she can look like a little silly but of course she is not, she is pretty smart, I hope old uncle Mark Splieger can convince her to return to the porn life and bring us to porn valley again, we lost one of the most dirty and creative creatures the adult bussiness never had. Colonel about the interview, I would interview Annette only for taking that pics close to her nice ass and give her a good licking in it lol and Yes Viva Anette!
Annette was a very sexy babe in her movies but she caters to a much smaller niche than Will’s movies. She was an extreme queen, one with no limits to speak of, that would do virtually anything asked of her regardless of whether anyone would show the unedited product in a movie or not. If enemas, triple penetration, scat, and pissing are your thing, Annette made some movies in Germany that you will likely adore. If you aren’t into circus act or Olympic performer sex, Will’s flicks will probably serve you better.
Those jaded by years of heavy porn viewing/shooting and those from foreign countries almost certainly see her in a different light than the casual viewer. I would have liked to see her comedic side more when she was here but she stuck to gonzo flicks instead.
Houston Don says:
‘I would have liked to see her (Annette Schwarz) comedic side more when she was here but she stuck to gonzo flicks instead.’
And I would have liked to see you in your clown make up, riding your tricycle while people throw rotten eggs and tomatoes at your pathetic ass. Unlike you and your dear Will Ryder, not everybody has a comedic side or any potential or desire for being a clown. People like Annette Schwarz do what they love to do, and they don’t need lizards like you to lick their assholes clean and serve them with worthless *best of the year* awards. Go fuck yourself, you old, delusional, lonely, ultimate two bit loser.
Colonel: “I assure you Annette Schwarz is funnier and sexier than the likes of Kayden Kross…”
Colonel: “…not everybody has a comedic side…”
Colonel, I was essentially agreeing with your original comments about Annette as a performer, a circus act sex performer but a performer all the same. You then made a comment, as I quoted, that Annette had a sense of humor; a side to her that was occasionally displayed in movies but only rarely. Don’t get your panties in a bunch because someone points out the truth, I’m sure whatever scenes she shot for you failed epically compared to those she shot for JJV, Evil Angel, Elegant Angel, and other big-name companies.
And if you think performers are better off eating shit, drinking piss, being beaten black & blue, and all the circus acts found in foreign gonzo that sell 20% as well as those Sitcums made by Ryder, Myers, Braun, and others, by all means go ahead and keep thinking that.
And whatever else Annette might say about awards, she told me to my face when she was signing for Elegant a few years back that she was really hoping to win some, one time performer Dick Fittswell standing beside the two of us.
Let me see if I get this right, Houston Don, so in your fucked up opinion, being funny equals having a comedic side, or in other words being a clown, right? In that case, you are a very *funny* man. Furthermore, how can you have any opinions on the quality of the performance of Annette Schwarz or anybody else in my scenes when you don’t know anything about me and my movies; other than the fact that my recent hardcore titles consist of 4 scenes per each in oppose to 6 scenes that I used to include until late 2008. There are several companies that currently do the same because of the economic downturn. If and when the market improves, I’ll go back to 6 scenes per each title. How does that make my or anybody else’s work any more or less significant? I believe we already discussed this.
And again, who are you to express opinion, or should I say spew verbal diarrhea on everything porn while you obviously have little or no resources, very limited view and even more limited IQ and intelligence. You’re a fucking retired old man, lurking in god knows where, spending your *golden years* by watching redundant porn parodies that a few companies send you for free and taking old man pervert notes AKA porn reviews. Name one person or company that has financially or otherwise benefited from your reviews; and tell me again why should I wipe my ass with you everyday.
P.S: Whatever Annette Schwarz may have told you several years ago about the porn awards is irrelevant to what she knows about the realities of the adult industry today. Case in point, her most recent blog entry about the porn awards, conventions, parodies, etc. Anybody who works in the adult industry will eventually find out the truth about it; but since you’re not and never will be a part of this industry, you can safely remain in your slumber and keep on daydreaming.
Colonel, you always focus on the trees but miss the forest (ie: bigger picture). As a long time porn CONSUMER, I know what I and others like. As a long time porn producer, you guess what we like, try to sell enough to keep going, and are now cutting back unlike most (few are cutting back to 4 scenes per movie as you believe) because you are preparing to close your doors. As a CONSUMER and consumer advocate, I speak for those that still buy titles which may be a smaller number than ten years ago but still amounts to a significant number contrary to your titles that are barely moving (hence your previous comment about scraping by with a mere $50-60k a year). So my opinion is at least as valid as yours in some arenas and more so on a forum like this, much to your chagrin.
Oh, and as far as who benefits from my reviews and or website, the amount my publisher takes in is enough for him to keep bothering so people are listening in that sense AND those who still care about awards seem to be happy knowing the industry events I participate in. Watching a lot of porn gives me a better vantage point of evaluating titles against those 4 scene wonders you release, the fact remaining that you are too much of a pussy to allow for a public comparison (your dancing and shuffling aside, that is what your sidestepping amounts to).
Lastly, what Annette said was not JUST about this years’ AEE show and you would know this if you read her blog in context. Nice try sidestepping another aspect of the responses…
Houston Don says:
‘As a long time porn CONSUMER, blah blah, blah.’
As a long time porn consumer AKA a loser old man who doesn’t get laid too often, hence resorts to porn parodies and daydreaming, you can go fuck yourself.
But on the other hand, if anybody is missing the big picture, that’s you: The fact is that in the adult industry the content is what matters, as long as I keep on producing the content, I have many ways to benefit from it, and that’s what I’m doing despite the economic downturn. In addition to releasing my content on DVDs, I also release them on VOD web sites, sell my scenes individually on clip stores, license my scenes to other companies, etc. DVD distribution is no longer the main source of revenue in the porn market, in fact it’s going to become obsolete in the very near future. At an average $5 a piece wholesale price, I, as well as many other producers don’t have a reason to invest heavily in DVD market, because the profit return is slow, even unlikely; and that’s because the majority of people don’t buy porn DVDs anymore. However, as I mentioned earlier, it’s producing the content that matters; and that’s what I keep on doing, so if you’re waiting for me to close shops, my advice to you is: Don’t hold your breath, it’s not going to happen anytime soon.
On another note, if anybody is sidestepping, that’s you. I explained myself again and again and more than I had to. You want to repeat yourself like a retarded buffoon, go ahead and fucking do it. In any event, I like the fact that you can’t even name one particular person or company who has ever benefited, financially or otherwise, from your old man pervert notes AKA porn reviews. You can’t name anybody, because there isn’t anybody. You’re nothing but an ass kissing fanboy/desperate old man porn junkie, lucky to have a few companies left who still feed your addiction by sending you free DVDs. Sometimes I feel sorry for you and how miserable your life is, I turly do, but then I realize you’re dime a dozen, there are many degenerate losers just like you; so why bother?
Lastly, I know what Annette Schwarz said was not just about this year’s convention, she’s talking about the state of porn in general. She’s a good friend of mine, we’re in contact and I talk to her all the times. I don’t read her blog on a regular basis, she emailed her piece to me, and I posted it here because she’s speaking the truth and everybody needs to hear it.
I need to get a drink, and you need to go to hell on an express way.
Colonel, go climb back into the bottle since you are deluding yourself about your place in the greater scheme of things. After all, YOU were the one lamenting how little you were now making each year and how that amount was shrinking all the time because you simply couldn’t compete with your 4 scene movies. Since you clearly need another bitch slap, here we go again…
YOU were the one suggesting companies were dropping down to your level yet have still avoided the “who the fuck is the colonel, anyways” questions that so routinely arise here. Others have pointed out from their firsthand knowledge how your numbers did NOT apply to them (at least yet) and the way you repeatedly attack Will and the current parody craze smacks of jealousy because they are doing better than ANY 4 scene/movie gonzo crap by aged old hacks that can’t cut it like yourself.
When you start offering up the information requested, so will I. There is absolutely no shortage of companies offering to send physical media, website passwords, access to entire VOD catalogs, and pretty much anything else the industry has to offer. While I cannot speak for all the review websites, reviewers, summarizers, and all around media, I know that I have no reason to kiss ass. No one gets a walk yet they still send materials in for review, maybe they have found some benefit that a shitty company like yours wouldn’t?!?
If you were such an insider (at least where the big boys play, not the shithead ripoff artists like yourself), you’d find ample evidence that advertising or other perks mean nothing to me as I have complete freedom from such matters. Can the same be said of all industry media/websites?
Once more, what Annette said a few years ago is directly opposite of what she wrote on her blog recently. She left porn, apparently felt like she should have won more awards, and now berates the industry from head to toe because porn is too soft for her tastes and she can’t fuck in front of everyone. Not everyone likes women that smear/eat shit, drink piss, and engage in extreme sexual activities just as not everyone enjoys sitcums but most of the titles selling at all these days in any appreciable numbers appear to be the kind that cater to a general audience, not the extremes (which are not legally available for sale in most parts of the USA like the parodies are). I’d be all for Annette giving the fans something to take home from the show without her needing to worry about the law, I’m just realistic enough to know it isn’t going to happen soon.
Houston Don says:
‘I know that I have no reason to kiss ass.’
And I know that you’re so full of shit; that coming from one of the biggest ass lickers in the adult industry. You don’t kiss ass for the money, you do it because you’re a helpless porn junkie turd who needs his fix; that’s even worse than doing it for the money.
As for Annette Schwarz, she didn’t leave porn, she moved to Munich and started her company named Annette Schwarz Productions. She performs, produces and directs content for her web site as well as for DVD release. Last summer, she signed a distribution contract with Your Choice Holding BV, an Amsterdam based company. You truly are a clueless ignorant schmock, and every single time you open your mouth you prove that.
Let me know when you need my foot back up your old, pathetic, wrinkled ass.
For the record, the colonel is unwilling to tell the world who he is or mention any of his titles as a means of facilitating debate about specifics. In a shrinking market where both physical media and alternative methods of distribution are under assault, anyone with a decent product would be willing to describe what they offer but in his own words, he offers far less than he used to with his four scene all sex crap.
As far as kissing ass for a porn fix, that scenario might work better if there were not dozens of companies needing the exposure enough to send screeners; making it just as necessary to spread the word out as ever UNLESS you are one of the many that sells crap and don’t like that fact pointed out. Further compounding his piss poor logic is the fact that there exists online pretty much every porn movie and scene ever made, all freely available to the morally impaired. Over the next year, a year called “the culling” by more than a few in the industry, shitty producers like klink will see the big boys holding on while his business continues to shrink faster than even his predictions; his meager profits further reduced and his back catalog worth less due to the pirates distributing it for free.
For all his musings about friendship with Annette, she listed the directors she liked to work with as “Mason,Jake Malone,Manuel Ferrara and Whilliam H.”, the woman establishing who she thinks are top tier directors (Jake the most marginal of the bunch though he still sees fit to provide double disc sets regularly). And while I admittedly tend to consider European porn sales as dismal compared to domestic releases so her leaving the biggest market for paid porn to drop a single release is unimpressive (her production company has been around for four years now; 1 title available from a single foreign source hardly qualifies her for “brilliant starlet in porn” these days, nor does her website given how mediocre it is). On a plus note, even she provides six scenes on her DVD, a 50% increase over klink’s crappy work. 😉
You bore me, Houston Don, everytime I force myself to respond to your ignorant, short sighted, more-of-the-same rants, I can’t help thinking who the fuck are you that deserves a response anyway? But here we go again, just for the hell of it:
Houston Don: For the record, The Colonel is unwilling to tell the world who he is or mention any of his titles as a means of facilitating debate about specifics.
The Colonel: For the record, I already explained my reasons for that many times. It has nothing to do with my product, I value my privacy and would like to keep my business which is making porn movies seperated from what I do for fun which is writing for my favorite web site LIB.
Houston Don: As far as kissing ass for a porn fix, that scenario might work better if there were not dozens of companies needing the exposure enough to send screeners.
The Colonel: The kissing ass for a porn fix is not a scenario, it’s the sad reality of your miserable, meaningless, worthless life; and by the way, you’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy, you’re in the porn valley. Nobody gets any exposure by sending buttom feeder junkies like you free stuff, because nobody gives a shit about what you write. If people like a particular performer, they pay to watch or purchase her scene, whether it’s on DVD, VOD web sites or clip stores. Again, name one specific person or company who has ever benefited, financially or otherwise, from your writings. I know you can’t do that, because there isn’t anybody. Those few who still send you and the likes of you free stuff are fools with low self esteem issues who need lizards like you to lick their assholes clean and praise them. I don’t need that, so you’ll never get anything from me for free, not now, not ever.
Houston Don: Over the next year, a year called the culling by more than a few in the industry, shitty producers like Klink will see the big boys holding on while his business continues to shrink faster than even his predictions; his meager profits further reduced and his back catalog worth less due to the pirates distributing it for free.
The Colonel: First of all, you don’t know who I am and what my products are, so you can’t have a valid opinion about the quality of my work. Secondly, if by *the big boys* you mean those few who send you free stuff and feed your addiction, then I’m not one of *the big boys*, because I’ll never give you shit for free. Thirdly, I know how to manage my business and adopt new viable strategies and continue my work. This is not the first crisis I face during the nearly three decades I spent in the adult industry, and certainly won’t be the last. But I assure you I won’t go anywhere. Like I told you before, don’t hold your breath.
Houston Don: ‘For all his musings about friendship with Annette, blah, blah, blah.’
The Colonel: My friendship with Annette Schwarz or anybody else for that matter is none of your business. She’s a motivated, smart and strong girl who knows how to manage her business and does what she enjoys to do and make profit off of it. She doesn’t need to explain herself or prove you her credentials to the likes of you, and niether do I.
If you have anything new to say, go ahead and spit it, otherwise keep on chasing your tail like the desperate leper dog that you are. Just know that it won’t get you anywhere. If anything, it’ll only prove further how clueless, delusional and unreliable you and your opinions are in regards to everything porn. Hopefully more producers who read this web site will see that for themselves, wake up from their slumber and stop wasting their time and money by sending you free stuff; and that’s the most devastating and worst thing that can happen to a patheic, poor, sad, ass licking junkie like you, isn’t it?
Your pain is my pleasure.
Houstondon – “Those jaded by years of heavy porn viewing/shooting and those from foreign countries almost certainly see her in a different light than the casual viewer. I would have liked to see her comedic side more when she was here but she stuck to gonzo flicks instead.”
WTF?!!!!
Seriously, you sound like a total idiot when asserting that your average porn chick is an ‘actor’ capable of emotions beyond sex. Likewise, you try to act as if you’re divorced from the very act of ‘watching’ porn! You are a ‘reviewer’ correct? Not just a random jerkoff who sees a handful of porn movies (and lets be real from all that you usually say on LIB — if it WAS just a handful of films a year you could watch, it would be features and parodies and NOT gonzo churned out by the likes of Mike John, Red Light, Jules, Vouyer, Anabolic, et cetera). Please, stop throwing rocks in the glass house of porn.
To sum up colonel klink’s distortions:
1) He has repeatedly ranted about how low his income is due to a variety of reasons outside of his control. This limits his ability to pay people for sex but he conveniently leaves that out of his musings.
2) He produces porn with four scenes “because of the market conditions” whereas he used to offer six scenes. Most current titles of this nature, especially those like the colonel makes using footage for multiple releases (that are not marked as such), are substandard but klink is welcome to prove otherwise by revealing who he is (or even list a handful of companies that do likewise making porn he would not be ashamed to call his own).
3) He is extremely defensive when asked questions backing up his statements, lashing out like a petulant child instead of providing information.
4) He is jealous of the companies that still make money, claiming they get no benefit by sending out screeners; be it more exposure, greater likelihood of awards, more sales.
5) He repeatedly attacks Will Ryder’s sitcum parodies, the kind that ship out more units per order than just about anything else on the market and have proven to have legs well beyond crappy 4 scene gonzo titles like the colonel offers.
6) He makes unsupported claims about me that anyone connected to porn would be able to dismiss easily, some of which have been by insiders but for his fixation. He also spends a lot of time getting owned here on LIB by his bipolar responses suggesting that I am not worth the effort yet he keeps making said effort (perhaps he is running out of capital to make his shitty porn?!?).
7) He suggests awards of all types are meaningless and no one cares about them yet there is ample video footage, press releases, website announcements, tweets, blogs, and comments from those that actually win or are nominated for such awards to suggest otherwise. Not everyone cares for awards and not everyone is able to capitalize on them, one group of people in that category are the ones incapable of making quality product such as colonel klink.
8) He further forgets his own scribblings to suggest that all porn scenes are available online from asshole pirate websites. If the primary motivation of a reviewer, any reviewer, was merely greater access to free porn, there would be no reason to review anything as it is all out there FOR FREE. For myself, it would be just as morally reprehensible to steal movies online as it would be to sell my soul for free titles. Every month, my website turns away lots of people who want their stuff reviewed, much of it four scene shit like the colonel makes, simply because so much is already sent in.
9) Colonel klink also repeats himself like a parrot figuring if he lies enough, someone might believe his musings; the adage being a lie told enough times will be believed by the simpletons out there. Sadly, he forgets that few people read the website, even fewer care for his online fights like those times he supported a convicted child rapist.
On a side note:
10) Annette was a great performer in domestic releases that some took exception to regarding her “look”. She had a decent run and decided to go back to Europe where she has made a single DVD of limited release, fusses about all the award shows because only the fan based ones select her for anything (even those are now suspect per her blog), and she makes a living. Good for her; even she knows how crappy the colonel’s output is, listing her favorite directors without a mention of him.
Sammy, given the range of most mainstream actors in Hollywood, I’m willing to stand up for those in porn by saying they are usually just as capable. Tear them apart for a dozen other reasons but for whatever faults they possess, they are human and therefore able to show emotions (by the way, “sex” is not an “emotion”).
I watch a lot of porn and I break it down in several ways according to the audience it is intended for. I like the better made sitcums and make no excuses for that but I also like a lot of gonzo fare from JJV, Evil, Elegant, and the like. Just because I can appreciate different types of porn doesn’t weaken the points made in the reviews. If you only like gonzo, can’t you still tell the difference between quality productions or are you impaired with tunnel vision and unable to discern better from worse?
Fair point — but even the worst mainstream actor is just that.
The ‘worst’ within a group of people who don’t fuck semi-random strangers for ‘infamy’ and dollars.
I’m sorry, but if you made the choice to do porn, this world isn’t going to welcome you back to the side of ‘respectability’. They are not going to give you a big part in a major film/TV project costing multi-millions (because the ‘bad press’ is going to kill any chance of recouping your investment and making a profit).
One can cite ‘Sasha Grey’ all damn day long — but she did not set the world in fire (even the indy film world who might be more forgiving of her gangbangs, DPs, multiple cum-swallowing ‘artistic projects’) with her woeful appearance in The Girlfriend Experience. Sure, there was a curiosity factor of ‘oh can that jizz swallowing, ten guy fuckdoll, skank of a porn chick’ actually deliver a few lines of dialogue that doesn’t end with her on her knees getting pounded in her ass. Yet that didn’t help the movie — and it probably hurt it, as at the end of the day, the audience it was intended for thought it was utter shit.
Standing up for the average ‘porn actor’ is a truly fruitless activity — that ranks up there with ‘reviewing’ today’s dull-minded porn feature. Truth be told, I like porn features…abet, the ones made about 20 years ago (when they were actually good, interesting and well-made). Just because you can now film in HD, with reasonable SFX, doesn’t make the idiotic scripts any better.
Sammy, you make some good points and I won’t try to dissuade you from such strongly held beliefs, especially regarding the abysmal Girlfriend Experience (from start to finish, on all levels, and not just due to Sasha). I even agree that the features of years gone by were almost always superior to those we see today, though I prefer modern style sex over the often short scenes the oldies offered up too regularly. That said, within any group are levels of quality (the same can be applied with any adjective such as “respectability” if you like).
Since I like to watch porn, writing up a decent review isn’t too much trouble for me. Those that make substandard product often act like klink because no matter how much they advertise, offer off the record freebies, or kiss MY ass, they get what they earn. Companies have asked for honest opinions and constructive criticism to help them in ways that mainstream Hollywood pays tons of money for focus groups, specialists, and marketing types (and they also read their reviews).
Reviews for the consumer also provide an overview of what they can expect, one I finished earlier today was listed at 2+ hours on some seller websites but clocked in at under 70 minutes, others feature pictures of performers not in the movie in any appreciable manner, and still others lack what is advertised.
As far as scripts are concerned, if you’ve watched enough episodes of the originals as I have, you might be a little more charitable with modern porn and the performers, especially if you take budgets into consideration. How do many in Hollywood get their “big break” anyway? Yeah, they suck and fuck up a storm of people off camera, getting burned all too often. That makes porn the more honest of the two entertainment industries…
Houston Don says:
‘She (Annette Schwarz) knows how crappy The Colonel’s output is, listing her favorite directors without a mention of him.’
This is one of the best examples of your arrogance and ignorance. How do you know whether Annette Schwarz or anybody else for that matter has listed me as her favorite director, friend, etc. when you don’t know who I am and what are my products? Since you’re asking for a clue about me, I’ll tell you this: The company that distributes my titles, works with a number of producer/directors, some of whom still send you free DVDs. Since in the adult industry the distribution company works as the producer’s agent and it’s the producer who invests on his titles, the producer is the one to decide what type of content, how many scenes, etc. to include in a title. Some of my coleagues who distribute through the same company that I do, release hardcore titles consisting of five scenes plus special features, some like myself have decided to cut back on their expenses and include four scenes plus special features in each title, because the DVD market is almost gone down the drain and does not worth heavy investment. Still, there are other sources of revenue including VOD web sites, clip stores, licensing individual scenes, etc.
I don’t send you or anybody anything, because I don’t benefit from reviews regardless of positive or negative. You want to entertain yourself with the illusion that people who pay for porn follow up reviews and decide what to buy and what not to buy based on what porn critics say; go ahead and entertain yourself. But the truth is that they don’t care, if they like a certain girl, or the box cover of a DVD, or snap shots of a scene, they’ll buy it. Period. End of story.
Hopefully we’re finally clear, at least for now.
Colonel, I quoted her recent interview as suggested by someone at XPT. She listed four directors, none of them known for 4 scene movies because I review almost every single title each of them puts out. THAT is how I defend the position. She was asked, she answered, and that is that. I’m sure that as a guy who had paid her to have sex, she found you just charming and I’m not faulting that in the slightest (business is business) but if you were such a close buddy and swell director, she probably would have mentioned you.
As far as the distribution models of the past are concerned, and make no mistake that they are changing, I’m well versed. One of my long time reviewing buddies worked at IVD for years and I made more than a few contacts elsewhere over the years. DVD will eventually be a sideline revenue stream for those that prefer physical media; I get that. I also get that something set you off about me recently because we’ve bantered back and forth a number of times without getting snippy.
I don’t claim to know everything nor do I claim to be in the industry (contrary to the claims by a few religious types that email me regularly) but frankly, most that read my reviews know full well that they are primarily based for consumers. I can look at the numbers of those that read the reviews and have seen how many buy from the link so there is some benefit (or they’d go price shopping elsewhere). Unlike the porn of the 70’s or 80’s, a growing number of people got sick of relying on advertising and great box covers but shitty content so they read reviews (be it Dr. Jay’s, Bobo’s, Roger’s, or even Den’s summaries; each of us have a readership).
The economic reality of the industry is that some producers benefit from word of mouth generated from reviews. They also benefit financially or mentally from various awards so fussing about it makes little sense but in the coming year or two, there is no doubt in my mind that more of the mentioned revenue streams are going to dry up even more; the end result being a survival of the fittest. When the marginal cost of sending a title to a reviewer exceeds the benefit, you can bet more will stop sending them but this just isn’t the case for most of them yet because while some have cut back sending them, most still ask what it would take to get their stuff reviewed (and there aren’t enough people willing to spend the time reviewing when they can grab anything they like online, a line I drew long ago and have not crossed).
Best wishes!
See Houston Don, that’s the problem with you: First, you make a comment; often a biased comment, based on little or no insight, and then you write pages long analyses of your original comment, trying to justify what you said. Case in point, you don’t know anything about me more than the fact that I’m an adult industry veteran who produces and directs gonzo movies. Since you don’t like gonzo movies in general and we had some brawls over a number of issues including but not limited to porn sub-genres, you automatically assume that my products must be crappy without having the slightest knowledge about me and my products. Your justification is that since my recent hardcore titles consist of four scenes instead of five, therefore they must be crappy. I can go on with this and provide you several examples that quantity does not necessarily equal quality. For instance, there are orgy and gang bang titles consisting of one scene only, there are S & M titles consisting of two scenes. Some of Rocco Siffredi titles consist of three scenes. Some of Manuel Ferrara titles consist of four scenes and so on. The quantity of scenes does not determine the quality of a title. The factors that determine the quality and hence sales of a title are:
1. Attractive girls
2. Passionate sex
3. Proper videography
As a self proclaimed porn critic you must know that. Also, as somebody who claims has inside information about the adult market to a certain extent and is aware of current changes in content delivery methods and the fact that DVD distribution is on the verge of extinction, you must understand why some producers including myself have decided to invest less than they used to in DVD market and focus on other revenue sources. But since your biased, limited view gets in your way, you have to go on and on, repeat the same rant over and over and create a vicious cycle to waste as much space as you can on a public message board. Then finally when the flaws in your argument are addressed, you resort to sidestepping and the usual excuses:
‘As far as the distribution models of the past are concerned, and make no mistake that they are changing, I’m well versed.’
‘DVD will eventually be a sideline revenue stream for those that prefer physical media; I get that.’
‘I don’t claim to know everything nor do I claim to be in the industry.’
If you’re well versed, get that, and don’t claim to know everything or to be in the industry, then what are we doing here brawling for 3 days?
On another note, I mentioned Annette Schwarz is a good friend of mine and that we’re in contact. I never said we were the closest buddies or that I’m a swell director, even though I don’t even understand what do you mean by that. We knew each other since 2004, she appeared in several of my titles, I worked with her on some scenes she was producing for her web site, we became friends and remained friends to this day. She’s a well known performer and has a significant fan base. She has done dozens of special appearances in both US and international porn conventions and many interviews. As far as I know, she has mentioned me in at least two of her interviews: One with a US web site around 2005-2006, and another with a German magazine in 2009. I don’t know if you’ve ever been interviewed or not, but usually people don’t prepare their answers prior to being interviewed. A question is asked, and they give an answer off the top of their heads. In this case, you refer to a recent Annette Schwarz interview to conclude that my products must be crappy, again, without even knowing who I am and what my products are. The way you defend your position, is by referring to the directors she lists in this particular interview as her favorites: Mason, William H, Jake Malone and Manuel Ferrara.
Let me ask you a question: What all these directors have in common? They all distribute through two companies: Elegant Angel and Evil Angel. How many titles, directed by various people, released through dozens of companies Annette Schwarz has in her filmography? Over 200. Before coming to your wild conclusion, did it occur to you that perhaps she’s answering to a question off the top of her head, thinking more about the companies in oppose to specific persons? I think not. I don’t need to prove my credentials or friendships with people to you or anybody; but this is a good example of how your mindset works and how your biased, baseless, unfair comments constantly get you in hot water with people. I have no time, reason or interest to brawl with you and go back and forth, though sometimes I feel compelled to do so. Hence, a friendly suggestion: Choose your words more carefully.
You have my best wishes.
In an effort at full disclosure, not to mention poking holes in Houstondon’s logic, I rented ONE porn movie (out of thousands since I started down this sordid road as a teen) due to a review. ONE.
The irony, is that it was a BAD review by Roger Pipe. The reason I even stumbled across the bad review was 1) looking up a female porn chick’s credits (iafd) 2) noticing she’d been in a volume of a long-running series 3) checking out the link to Roger’s review 4) pulling up all of the reviews Roger did for that series (a few of which were negative) 5) reading the most negative of those reviews.
I was honestly so amused by Roger’s dislikes of the movie’s contents, I had to see it for myself (and actually liked parts of it). So at the end of the day, no amount of positive ‘porn reviewing’ is going to sway me…or anyone else for that matter. For how is a porn critic going to tell me (or anyone else) what female porn girl doing X/Y/Z sex act is going to turn me on? How is a porn critic going to tell me what female performers to like enough to seek out their scenes?
That is the absurdity of porn criticism. If I’m dumb enough to buy/rent shit porn (and we know what that is Leisure Time thank you very much…), then NO amount of porn criticism is going to change that. Beyond that, it comes down to what girls get you hard (racially, hair color, weight, et cetera) and what companies/directors make porn you can watch (sound is clear, music isn’t intrusive, well lite, decent locations, et cetera). Write all of the glowing prose you want — it’s not going to change the reality of how people consume porn.
Will a consumer make mistakes and rent/buy porn they don’t like? Yes. Will they get so fed-up, so cautious, so scared to waste time/money on shitty porn that they have to run to the read the latest Houstondon (or any other porn critic) words? Nope.
houstondon, why continue to add more fuel to the fire with the colonel and sammie sucks alot of dick! the colonel does’nt want to reveal himself or his titles for some reason. i’m sure if someone wanted to “out” him they could or would. the trannyfucker knows who he is, and i’m surprised he hasn’t given him up.
Sammy, my tastes are not usually far off from Roger, Den, Astro, or a few others but yes, there is a huge tendency for many to be overly positive. Each of us have regular readers that understand our individual biases and can use that to find a title or ten they might like. In the case of Den, for example, I know of people that go to his “lowest rated movies” list and go crazy renting knowing they will almost certainly adore whatever flick he is railing about due to choking or rough sex.
I don’t think any of us have delusions of grandeur regarding how much we influence people in general but having seen the numbers of click throughs that resulted in purchases, I can’t say that we are without any influence either. For those that like knowing what a movie really contains, including screen captures for most of the reviews I’ve done in recent years, they might be inclined to pick up a title not based on our description of a gal so much as the overall description of a particular performer’s role (especially in the last ten years when so many women have been making hundreds of movies; how do you decide which one to get?).
Sammy, I’m pretty sure I know who klink is too, based on his statements more than the emails received but I won’t “out” him either. As far as adding fuel to the fire, consider it another public service because every tome he writes trying to defend his substandard work equates to him having less time defending child rapists, propping up shitty eye-candy movies, or commenting on how poor he is getting due to the decline of the industry. 😉
Klink, everything any of us write (hint: you too) is “biased” and is based on our respective experiences. If you truly felt I had nothing to add to a conversation, you wouldn’t waste so much time responding with your own “pages long” posts.
As far as what I know about you, you might be surprised; there being relatively few gonzo producers that went from a 6-scene model to a 4-scene model in the last few years; especially that shoot multiple scenes of the same people at the same time (I’ve called a few on this in the past since it seems like they edit one scene to make at least one more with the same content yet fail to label it as such; just as you claimed to do). When you claimed to be distributed by a company that already sends titles to Xcritic for review, you narrowed that down even further just as you did when you used Annette as an example since she shot a lot but mostly for a handful of companies).
That you think I dislike gonzo is just as telling as most of the other misinformation you’ve posted about me too since three of my favorite companies are almost exclusively gonzo outfits. Granted, I don’t like crappy, generic gonzo such as you have claimed to make; 4-scene porn reedited for multiple versions to sell repeatedly, but we’ve been over that as you dance and shuffle regarding particulars. Even when given a chance to offer up others doing the same thing that you would call “quality” producers, you can’t do it.
On that note, while quantity doesn’t automatically confer quality status, as a CONSUMER (and consumer advocate), I know that people collectively want BOTH. By offering less than many, you start off handicapped to the consumer compared to the average Elegant, Evil, or Jules titles. Keep in mind that while you’re now trying to suggest that 5 scenes are average (as opposed to the previously discussed 6), many of these provide AT LEAST SIX scenes, if not more along with extras. Even then, when they try something different regarding how many scenes (on those rare occasions), they tend to offer very lengthy scenes, something exceedingly rare of the 4-scene wonders like yourself, but those are exceptions to the rule, not their baseline.
So, once more I call for you to offer up several companies that release CONSISTENTLY good gonzo with only four scenes. To be fair, there is not always a connection between quality and sales but I’m sure anyone still reading this would like to hear your musings on that question more than your defense of child rapists or how swell Avalon was.
Sales: In order, it has been suggested to me time and again by the distributors that three things move product:
1) Boxcover
2) The women as presented on the cover
3) The “catch” or niche a title presents
That is what the casual buyer tends to go by when making a selection. Those are the type that still buy porn for the most part too, a number of them reading reviews so they don’t get stuck with movies barely an hour long (like Succulent Solos) of edited footage or the latest junk from hacks like yourself.
To compete against others that offer more material, you either have to go with price, better marketing, or sheer quality. Frankly, someone that completely disregards word of mouth, internet, and all the other things we’ve discussed, is very unlikely to beat out the others in marketing. As far as quality is concerned, you might be surprised how quickly word gets out when someone is making a superior product for a living, some of the most prolific reviewers also owning rental outlets so they stay on top of things regarding the cheap bastards that don’t send out screeners. Further, you’ve already pigeonholed your level of gonzo by repeatedly using the same numbers so while I strongly suspect your titles sell for much less than the better producers, that selling point isn’t going to last much longer as we’ve both agreed.
Annette: I agree with you about interviews but consider that the first people she offered up, the ones most quickly coming to mind, were the ones coinciding with what a great many people consider as some of the very best producers of hardcore smut with an edge. On top of that, as an interviewee several times myself, questions tossed out on the spur of the moment tend to get the most honest answers. Other than that, I pointed out the logical basis for my claim in detail so no matter how you sidestep it, you release titles with less material than she does, you’re too much of a blowhard to tell who you are (lest it impact already declining sales), and she didn’t name you in dozens of other interviews she gave. 🙂
Numbers: Annette made ~200 movies domestically, a whole lot of them for a handful of companies such as the two distributors listed. From there, several of the more prominent companies can be crossed off as not gonzo producers but the quality level drops off quickly after the first ten or so. So while I have seen plenty of Lethal Hardcore, 5th Element, and yes, even a couple Seven Silver Keys releases that merited a slight nod in the past, it is extremely likely that your work doesn’t live up to your closely held beliefs or your income wouldn’t suck so badly (which will diminish as the revenue streams decline).
Lastly, if anyone sidesteps on here, it is you. You evade questions left and right in hopes of impressing yourself. That’s just it about your op-ed pieces on LIB, for every minor pearl comes a ton of crap so while I appreciate your responses as a means of blowing off steam and deriving a laugh at how drunk you must be at the keyboard, your bipolar antics display how much trouble you are really in. So if you feel there is nothing further from dealing with this pain, go bug Mikey or one of the others here that has smacked you down in the past as a change of pace.
lol, looks like the Don had to slap up a little soldier
Reviews sites are just one way to push the traffic to buy. Essentially, reviews are just one of many marketing tools for the adult industry.
So now that you’re beat up, cornered, embarrassed and ridiculed, Houston Don, all in the sudden you’re pretty sure who I am, while until last night you were constantly indicating that you have no idea. You are indeed a big, pathetic, fucking loser; and you’ll be a loser to the bitter end.
If you’re going to respond, and by knowing you I know you will, make sure to sum up all your more-of-the-same old man rants in one place, long enough to make at least two print pages so I can wipe my ass clean with it.
I did respond but apparently, I was too revealing as to your identity zipperhead so it’s stuck in moderation. Chump!
I’ll make it easy for you, Houston Don, since you’re pretty sure who I am, call me or shoot me an email and we’ll continue our conversation off board and without taking too much space on a public message board.
Chump.
That’s okay klink. If you’re worried about the use of a few stray electrons taking up too much space on that new-fangled internet thingy, I’ll spare you the lecture. Shitheads like you deserve the fate you will succumb too, declining sales and the need to look for a job. If you think that $50k you made sucks, see what your bottom line is in 2010 or 2011… Sucker!
Does it mean you’re not going to call or email me, Houston Don? I’m disappointed. If you change your mind, the offer still stands. Contact me directly, we’ll scream at each other, call each other names and then perhaps become friends, and I’ll tell you about my business plans for 2010 and beyond. It ain’t over ’til it’s over.
See you around, sucker.
Don,
I have identified the klink by name in this thread several times, but it always goes to moderation, and then gets deleted. I will post a thread on XPT and GFY tomorrow with his full name, his ‘stage name’ and real name. take care don.
Honestly, I wish you well despite your antics and hope you get your seven virgins on silver plates while earning the keys to the kingdom.
Don, you are correct. The days of anonimity for the klink are over.
Honestly Houston Don, I wish you have better chances in your next life.
The offer to contacting me directly still stands.
The same holds true for you as well. Cheers!
Multiple Xs as a user name, interesting. I’ll look forward to reading your big foot theory about my identity. There are many theories about my identity, and they’re like snowflakes, no two are alike, so let’s see what you got. It better be good and new, not regurgitating stuff that has been tossed around on LIB, XPT, ADT, GFY, etc. for as long as I’ve been writing on this web site. I don’t know and don’t care what’s it to you, but to me, it’s all fun and games.
Play it again, Sam.
– Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca
I know who the Colonel is! He’s from Kentucky and sells deep-fried, thick breaded salmonella-laced chicken by the bucket. He’s used his substantial monetary influence to avoid liability for his cruel and unhealthy slaughterhouse practices and his foul treatment of fowl. Years later, while financially satiated and bored, he decided to get into the business of pornography and then become a frequent contributor of a porn gossip site with a stupid name, called “Luke Is Back”.
Actually, he’s the great grandson of Colonel House, who once wrote FDR: “The real truth of the matter is, as you and I know, that a financial element in the larger centers has owned the Government ever since the days of Andrew Jackson”. And like the above mentioned Colonel, considers mankind to have essentially the same worth and value as packed coops of hens n’ cocks.
The truth is out there.
Who says The Colonel is a he?
Right you are, Jeremy, the truth is out there.
And the truth is not about the identity of some smut peddler who writes commentaries and articles on some porn news/gossip web site in his spare time. The truth is about those miserable, pathetic losers who obsess over who this guy is, and since none of them are in the adult industry and have no connections and no reliable sources, they have to resort to shoving their thumbs up their assholes, fooling around, creating asinine, wild speculations and regurgitating each other’s bullshit theories. Watching them wondering in their haze is as much fun as it is sad. Ultimatelly, it speaks in volumes about how empty, lonely and pityful their lives are; for if they had anything to do, they wouldn’t be on porn message boards, playing detective Nancy Drew. But hey, as long as they provide entertainment, let them be.
The Coronel is that guy that managed Elvis Presley career but now is in porn. That explains why are so many starlets with Presley on her names.
Coronel, you are a sly bastard. BTW how is Elvis doing? I heard he faked his own death, something that porn starlets sometimes do.
The influece of the Coronel over porn is that great.
The Coronel also loves the smell of napalm in the morning.
Elvis says hi, Harvey, how’s everything in Gotham City?
And you’re right, I love the smell of napalm in the morning as much as I love the smell of pussy in the night. Pussy, sweet, precious pussy; something if these loser cyber detectives could get every once in a blue moon, they would have been better off and less fucked up in the head, frantic and frustrated.
HAHAHAHAHA
The “story” isn’t about the identity of a decrepit old pornographer who is seeing his place in the world crumble before his eyes, his income down sharply and his future prospects bleak. No, the “story” is about the AVN Award winners that klink co-opted for his amusement. In a vainglorious manner, he wants the story to be about him and his “identity” but in fact, does it really matter? Seriously?
In a few more years, when his VOD income bottoms out, his DVD income is gone, and the asshat pirates have wiped the poor schmuck out so that he’s asking folks if they want fries with their shake or he’s living on the government dole at our collective expense, no one will care. If his ramblings here are his last hurrah before he starts eating his shoe leather, so be it, because it is a fate that I wouldn’t wish on him (or anyone else in porn). Poor guy…
The story, Houston Don, is about your ass being handed to you on a platter, and now you’re left banging your head against the wall. Don’t be afraid, you’re beaten up, embarrassed and ridiculed; but you’ll survive and continue your lonely, miserable existence watching porn parodies, daydreaming, taking old man pervert notes and getting your ass kicked on a regular basis.
They are so harsh to limited English speakers in California, there’s no way he could actually work the register with that accent.
Can I get a double animal style and a chocolate shake?
On another note, Houston Don, you old fucking hack, last night I was drunk and crashed early. This morning, I red your pages long verbal diarrhea. I laughed at how clueless, desperate and pathetic you are, then printed your ramblings, took a shit, wiped my ass clean with your writing; and thought get back to you on a couple of your rants:
Houston Don: There being relatively few gonzo producers that went from a 6 scene model to a 4 scene model in the last few years.
The Colonel: More than few and more than you know of, because like myself, they don’t give a fuck about you and don’t need your tongue up their assholes, hence they don’t send you their products. I don’t know what part of *DVD market is dying* you don’t understand since you are an old retard and your mind is slow; but let me break it down for you again: People don’t invest heavily in DVD market anymore, because there’s no significant profit return. They focus on producing content in order to broadcast on VOD web sites and sell individual clips in clip stores and license their scenes to various companies. Soon, free loading porn junkie dinosaurs like you who rely on DVD will be left with their thumbs up their assholes. Everything is going cyber space, and you’ll be left with your porn parody archive, your imagination and the memories of the yesteryear.
Houston Don: When they (producers) try something different regarding how many scenes (on those rare occasions), they tend to offer very lengthy scenes, something exceedingly rare.
The Colonel: My titles usually run at 100-120 minutes, with lengthy scenes, up to 40-45 minutes each: Lots of foreplay, blow jobs, ass licking, the whole 9 yards. I give the people a run for their money, I just don’t give away stuff to lizards like you for free.
Houston Don: When given a chance to offer up others doing the same thing (releasing DVD titles consisting of four scenes) that you would call quality producers, you can’t do it.
The Colonel: Of course I can, here are a few: Combat Zone, Black Market, Devil’s Film, White Ghetto, Robert Hills Releasing, etc. The world is bigger than your bubble, and so is the porn market.
Houston Don: It has been suggested to me time and again by the distributors that three things move product: 1) Boxcover 2) The women as presented on the cover 3) The catch or niche a title presents.
The Colonel: I know that, asshat, and I’ve got all 3 covered. If you’re into porn because you’re a junkie, I’m into porn because that’s my business. So don’t preach the choir.
Houston Don: Annette.
The Colonel: None of your fucking business.
Houston Don: Numbers.
The Colonel: As for DVD sales, numbers are around what I reported. You may be surprised to know that most producers these days receive bigger checks from AEBN and Clips.com in oppose to IVD. Welcome to 21st century, asshole.
Go ahead, knock yourself out, repeat your fucking rants some more, claim that you’re a consumer advocate, that you know who I am and what I do, that your existence worths shit. In the end, you’re no better than any other degenerate jerk off porn junkie. Granted, you’re a bit smarter, since you disguise yourself as some *porn critic* and get your fix for free. However, in the next 18-24 months and when DVD market goes completely down the drain, you’ll go down the toilet of history with it.
As usual, go fuck yourself.
Seems I struck another nerve while beating on klink…
Let’s see;
He provides a “whole” 100 to 120 minutes on his titles… Wow, how 1998 of him…
He can’t refute my stance on Annette…
He back peddles on what moves titles…
He finally comes up with some company names (leaving his out of the mix of course) though in fairness, I’ve reviewed dozens from them collectively and they often seem lacking (though most are better than klink’s output).
Seems to think I hold myself out as better than other consumers…
Poor sad klink… So this is what your future holds for you, a life of poverty and a back catalog freely available on the internet. Don’t worry, I hear the library has free internet access, that’s the place with those things the rest of us call “books”.
Take care!
PS: If I were as morally inferior as you, I’d just jump online to access as many terabytes of scenes as I wanted free of charge. I’ve already turned down buying dozens of your movies for $1/@ but unlike you, the industry as a whole will survive.
PPS: I still don’t care who you are…get over it already.
Kernal
You know that your claims of making 50 to 60 grand a year are bullshit. Your 2008 tax return showed a total income of 41,365.oo
I spend more than that on christmas presents every year.
Would you like to know everything else I know about you, like your address, cell number, etc?
50 year old guys who get drunk on Wed. nights are the coooooooolest!
I didn’t know you could purchase beer with food stamps in Cali, guess NY and CA aren’t much different afterall
Seems you have to get off my back, get off the computer, go out of the house and get a fucking life. Dammit Houston Don, you’re one crazy old man, how long should a porn movie be, 12 hours? Tell me how long are the porn parodies you obsess over like the lonely buffoon that you are.
As for Annette Schwarz, we already talked about her, and I told you my friendship with people is none of your fucking business. If you repeat yourself like a parrot 100 times more, I’ll give you the same answer: None.Of.Your.Fucking.Business.
How did I back peddle on what moves titles, what’s the name of my company that I leave out of the mix; and how, on what ground, movies produced by the companies I listed often seem lacking?
In other words, what the fuck are you talking about?
Look man, I’m sick of going back and forth with some retired loser with nothing to do and all the time in the world. As odd as it seems, I get the feeling you enjoy doing this, that’s perhaps because you like me and secretly admire me. There can’t be any other reason. Seriously, think about it: We argued, screamed at each other, called each other names; and that’s enough for now. Maybe some day, somehow we become friends; maybe in a couple of days we pick up where we lift off. In any event, I rather give it a break for the time being, and I believe so should you.
Nice brawling with you.
Klink, I admit to having fun smacking you around online. You established that your failed business model yielded you decreasing returns and it’s probably wrong to beat up on someone in such decline, whose entire livelihood is in great peril of being lost in a veritable heartbeat. I apologize if that offends anyone but taking you down a peg or five at a time has proven an amusing diversion that has apparently netted me some new found friends too.
Compare apples to oranges with others for awhile and know that anything revealing your identity here on LIB is quickly deleted but don’t bring up subjects you’re unwilling to discuss if it bugs you so much. I do feel sorry for you in the same way I’d feel sorry for a snaggle toothed old coyote lying in a ditch on its last breath so I’ll let you lick your wounds for now. 😉
From LIB disclaimer:
‘We strongly discourage the use of racial slurs, accusations of criminal activity and/or use of legal names for those that use stage names.’
Houston Don says:
‘Know that anything revealing your identity here on LIB is quickly deleted.’
Anything being said in regards to anybody’s identity on LIB, regardless of true or false, hidden or public knowledge, will be deleted. LIB is Cindi’s web site, and she has the right to decide what to do on her web site. For instance, during Kayden Kross fraud scandal, her legal name was being mentioned everywhere but here. During the HIV outbreak, the patient zero’s name was being mentioned everywhere but here. Consequently, if some ignorant, pathetic loser like you and your *new found friends* has a wild guess about my idedntity and lists somebody else as me, those comments will be deleted; not because you’re on the right or wrong track, but because of the rules set for writing commentaries on LIB. In other words, don’t flatter yourself, I’m aware of the big foot theories about my idedntity that are circulating on LIB, ADT, XPT, GFY, etc. and who generates them and tosses them around; and I’m glad they all have one thing in common: They’re all far from the truth.
On another note, know this, motherfucker, the reason I suggested to give ourselves a break, is because you are a piece of shit and you fucking bore me; so don’t think you can have the last words and don’t think you can get dumb smart ass with me. I’ll shove my foot up your ass and ride you like a beat up truck whenever I want, for as long as I want.
Suck my dick.
XXXXXXXXX, I look forward to seeing your posting on XPT but less because you’ll mention klink’s ID than your other comments about the pathetic loser. It’s telling that he’s sounding more hateful the deeper he goes into his rants and the stream of hateful language is ALSO a violation of the TOS here. I guess when I strike a nerve, it goes deep on the nasty little pecker. lol
PS: I bet you he responds to this even though he’s currently in a time out (like a spoiled child).
X-Dude says:
‘Your 2008 tax return showed a total income of $41,365.oo Would you like to know everything else I know about you, like your address, cell number, etc?’
Of course I would like to know everything you know about me, as long as you provide concrete proof. For the starter, let’s see a screen capture of my 2008 tax return; and then we’ll take it from there. If you don’t provide the screen capture, it becomes clear and evident that you’re talking out of your ass, and your rants don’t matter.
Don.
I will post on XPT tomorrow. I’m on my brothers computer right now and I dont want to log onto that site on his computer. And just in case my previous post gets deleted, I will check with my attorney before posting Klinks tax return, although his statement above appears to give the permission to do it.
Klink, as far as concrete proof, would a picture of your residence be enough for you?
On second thought Klink,
Would a picture of you be proof enough, and will you give me written permission here to post the picture?
X-Dude says:
‘I will check with my attorney before posting Klink’s tax return, although his statement above appears to give the permission to do it.’
That’s right, shove your head up your ass and run, little rabbit, run. You think you can play dumb smart ass with me, yes? You tried to bluff with that tax return statement, thinking in your deranged, fucked up, pathetic head that by pretending to be specific without providing any concrete evidence and proof, I’ll be tricked to believing you actually know me. Since I asked for a screen capture of my 2008 tax return, something that you clearly don’t have, it became evident that you’re talking out of your ass; and all of your further rants, here or elsewhere, will be laughed at.
For the record, you have my permission to post a screen capture of my 2008 tax return. Since you claim to know me well, that will be proof enough. Until and unless you provide that, we have nothing more to discuss. You’re another dime a dozen internet clown. Go fuck yourself.
Colon,
How have you been? I’ve been away for a while. Looks like your goose is finallycooked here. Do they still delet comments here that say your name is (removed) ?
Well Little g, why do I have a feeling that you and X-Dude have some kind of connection, friends, coleagues, brothers/sisters, or the same person? You both are amazingly full of shit, talk alike, bluff alike, brag alike; and think if you repeat your *I know who The Colonel is* bullshit without providing any concrete evidence and proof, somehow your bullshit will become any significant. I’ve got news for you: It will not; and if you list the names of persons and companies as my name and the name of my company and the names are being removed and your commentaries are being deleted, that doesn’t mean you’re on a right or wrong track, you wrinkled buffoon, that means you’re violating rules of writing commentaries on LIB which prohibit commentators from use of names for those who use stage names, regardless of the names mentioned in your commentary are true or false, hidden or public knowledge. Case in point, Kayden Kross’ legal name and the patient zero’s stage name were deleted because of the same violation of writing commentaries on LIB.
I know you’re old, pathetic, retarded and slow, but next time before hitting the keayboard buttons like the lab monkey that you are, try to get that into your fucked up head; and pass the message to X-Dude as well, or should I refer to him/her as Joe, the name he/she used on a fake email address to register on LIB. I’d like to know are there any chances that you both are residents of Tujunga area, CA, that’s where Joe’s IP address is registered. It’s a small world, Little g.
I know this is your favorite line, so I’ll hit you on your head with it one more time:
Fuck you, you fucking idiot loser. Suck my dick.
yeah colonel You hit that right on the nail again about all the soft vanilla porn out there in LA being produced! Shit whats wrong with all those softies out there?? Even Bang Bros is getting really stupid and pussin’out and doing really stupid shit and getting AVN awards for Ignorant crap that production company they hired out there to do they’re shoots for them in some stupid mansion in Malibu. Have a good weekend and stay dry over there in Cali.
it says
“We strongly discourage the use of racial slurs, accusations of criminal activity and/or use of legal names for those that use stage names.”
What does your stage name or company name have to do with that?
Thank you Stud, have fun and a good weekend in The Sunshine state.
Alright Al/Bruce/Bitch Boy/Your real name here (because I know your real name, and it’s not Al Blanco), as much as I hate having any kind of correspondence with a piece of shit like you, but I’ll answer your question:Last May, when the HIV outbreak occured in the adult industry, people on every porn news/gossip web site were mentioning patient zero’s stage name; every porn news/gossip web site, but not on LIB, because Cindi did not want that. As the editor of LIB, she has the right and privilege to decide what to allow and what not to allow on her web site. Furthermore, the stage name and the name of the company that you took from ZeeInsideAdult’s big foot theory about my identity and been regurgitating and emailing to everybody you could in the past year, is not my stage name and not the name of my company. Repeating your bullshit will not make it any significant, it only makes a bigger fool out of you; and I told you that more than enough.
Enjoy your time in purgatory, you big, pathetic, fucking loser.
I have nothing to hide, don’t have any contact with anyone in the industry for the most part and reported more than 41K of income in 2008.
What you have to hide, Al/Bruce/Bitch Boy/Your real name here, is your very existence which is a miserable, shameful failure on every aspect. I certainly know you have no contact in the adult industry, that’s why you’re so clueless about everything porn and talk out of your ass. As far as for income, I don’t know and don’t give a shit what you reported in 2008, I know what I reported; and if you or any of your coleagues know how much I reported as well, I insist that you back up your claim with concrete proof: You have my permission to post a screen capture of my 2008 tax return. Put up or shut up and crawl back to your shithole where you jerk off to 5 minute clips on tube sites, call phone sex lines just so you can pay with your pathetic debit card and talk to a human being; and shake in your anxiety attacks and bi-polar meltdowns which prevent you from leaving your room and having a normal life. I pity you, and loathe and despise you deeply. You truly are a sub-human piece of shit.
I have no idea who allegedly has your tax return, and I only talk to a handful of people because of people like you in the adult industry who just seem like the biggest pieces of shit. Just chill out, getting drunk on Friday, even for a member of AARP, is appropriate.
I would suggest concerning yourself on more important things, such as your bank account and not pissing off the the other people who know who you are that actually use XPT.
I assure you, Al/Bruce/Bitch Boy/Your real name here, that nobody has my 2008 tax return information. Again, if anybody including you has that information, they have my permission to post a screen capture of it wherever they want. However, let me tell you what’s the story: You, along with some of your retarded coleagues whom none of them are in the adult industry put together this hoax, thinking in your fucked up heads that by pretending to be specific without providing any concrete evidence and proof, I’ll be tricked to believing you actually know me. Obviously, that’s not how it works, so you can stop embarrassing yourself anytime.
I would suggest you try to cope with your failures, emotional wounds and mental illness and get a life; but on second thought, I won’t suggest that. I rather see you suffer well, you absolutely, completely deserve it. Go to hell.
You think I would go to the trouble to do all that? What’s wrong with you?
“$41,365″… Wow, that’s just sad! Considering the ever-declining value of back catalog material, it’s only going to get worse but for living in So. Cal that must suck hard. No wonder he acts grumpy all the time.
Fuck off, Houston Don, some deranged asshole bluffed about having my personal and business information; and I called the bluff by asking him to provide eveidence. 4 days ago, this moron, Joe from Tujunga, CA was supposed to post an expose including all my information such as my real and stage name, the name of my company, my address, phone number, screen capture of my 2008 tax return information, etc. on XPT, GFY and other porn message boards. To this day, nothing has been posted. I encourage Joe to post his expose anytime he wishes, anywhere he wishes. But until and unless Joe provides actual, real eveidence and proof for everybody to see, anybody refering to his claims is making an embarrassing frustrated fool of themselves. Here is what I suggest you to do instead: Put on a porn parody, shove your fist up your old, ugly, wrinkled ass and suck on an 18 inch plastic cock.
Miserable piece of dried up, hacked up shit; you bore me.
And yet, you never denied the amount either. How sad!
Of course I deny the amount, Houston Don, you sad, little fool. How else do you think I know for sure that Joe from Tujunga, CA is full of shit and talks out of his ass? Because he’s wrong, because I know what I made and what I reported in 2008 and he doesn’t. He bluffed and I called him on his bluff; and 4 days later you’re still embarrassing yourself by regurgitating somebody’s crap who signed up on a porn message board with a fake email address just to bluff and bullshit and fuck around. You truly are pathetic.
On another note, Houston Don you dork, I order you to keep writing your stupid, little rants until the number of comments on this thread reaches 100. That’s your task, scumbag, get your old, disease ridden ass to work and type, monkey, type. Come on, entertain me and my folks.
When you create a an ID on LIB, they email you the password. You can’t sign up with a fake email, such as TheColonel@lukeisback.com
41 G’s? Drunk on Wed nights and then having to make up an excuse about it? Receding hairline? Ambiguous race and bad accent? Not a good look partner lol
The winner gets a personalized LIB fez!
‘What’s My Line’ was great, but ‘Who’s The Colonel’ is so much better. I love this shit. Keep it up.
“The Shadow knows… Hahahahaha!”
HAHAHAHAHA
Right you are, Third Axis, the shadow knows all.
In the meantime, here is a Houston Don joke for your entertainment:
Houston Don was sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what’s the matter.
Houston Don says: I’m a porn critic. I have an archive of porn parodies. I’m single, living all by myself, fooling around the house, watching porn parodies all day long and taking old man pervert notes that I pass on a shitty little web site as porn reviews; and day in, day out, I hope and pray that somewhere, somebody decideds what fuck scene and what whore to jerk off to based on my notes, though I don’t think that’ll ever happen.
The young jogger says: Right, but that doesn’t explain why are you sitting here in the park crying?
Houston Don says: I can’t remmber where I live.
Who cares WHO the Colonel, Third Axis, BigLeeBail, Pornster, Al, Jed, Larry Horse, Harvey Dent, et cetera are in ‘real life’?! Is it going to somehow make their comments and observations any more or less valid if you knew their real identities?
Really, seriously?
Since so many of the people on LIB are already so distrustful of anything they read in the newspaper or see on TV, from people who DON’T hid their identities behind a keyboard and a goofy alias, I really doubt knowing that hypothetically Third Axis is ‘Patrick Collins’, Pornster is ‘Jack Napier’, or The Colonel is ‘Joey Silvera’ is going to change anything.
Everybody, the competition for the biggest loser on LIB is now between Houston Don, Al/Bruce/Bitch Boy/His real name here and Joe from Tujunga, CA AKA X-Dude. The goal is to make 100 comments on this thread in regards to The Colonel’s identity. The winner, as Third Axis pointed out, gets a personalized LIB fez as well as a kick in the ass. Though it’s still too early to predict, but it seems we have a returning champion: Alfonso Blanco, the true face of embarrassment, failure and misery in the 21st century.
Meanwhile, I’m still waiting to read Joe from Tujunga, CA AKA X-Dude’s tell-all expose about The Colonel’s identity on various porn message boards including XPT, GFY, etc. Enjoy.
hey everybody, the colonel is an ass clown… but you already knew that. Too bad about your boy Roman having to come back to the US to face sentencing. He’ll never direct again, and hopefully gets a big dick in his ass when goes to prison.
Reverse psychology never worked on me in the past so why would a guy barely making it like klink think it would work now? Perhaps he is just miserable at his declining prospects in life but I’m sure he can replace one of those people Sam’s Club is about to lay off, the food sample people that probably make more than he does…
PS: I’ll compare my place to yours on any level and feel just fine. You’re said to live in a shitty hole of an apt/condo with under 1100 sq ft, my living room is bigger than that sucker…
Reverse psychology, Houston Don? Nah, I’m just being straight forward with you, trying to give you the credit you truly deserve: The biggest loser.
Besides, what do you know about where I live? I suppose you red your dead/divorced wife’s diaries and think I’m the guy who used to bang her. I’m not that guy, partner, you still gotta keep looking.
Continue, you’re close to make the 100th comment mark. Don’t let anything gets in your way. This is an encouragement, not reverse psychology, you old turd.
Retard, he didn’t name himself XXXXXXXXX…. his name is your company and Cindi made it XXXXXXXXXXXXX not to protect you but because she doesn’t feel like going through the headache your constant whiny tantrums put her through
Back on track with the AVN Award winners, what you don’t see is a bunch of klinks’ works, his 4-scene shitty work potentially able to win “biggest ripoff from a lame hack” should that category ever get off the ground. Go back to counting pennies for your weekly trip to soup line, I suspect you’ll be applying for welfare any time now given your crappy output in the gonzo market.
man…the colonel is taking a helluva beat-down from al and houstondon, getting tag-teamed! colonel is like that old timex commercial “takes a lick’in and keeps on tick’in!” colonel don’t forget to add me to your list of losers on LIB. i really want to win! ha!ha!ha!
You are on the top of the losers list, Porn Fan/Jerry/Dude. I didn’t put you there, your mother did the day she pushed you out of her disease ridden womb. There was a time when you were kissing and licking my ass clean everyday on this message board; but if things have changed, if you feel like a drama queen teen whore and are longing to be on my shit list, so be it, you’re in. Take a number and get in the line, I’ll shove my fist up your ass when it’s your turn.
P.S: What have you been up to lately, who have you been jerking off to, Jerry, you lonely, miserable piece of shit of an ultimate two bit loser? Come on, scumbag, you can tell us about your despicable, pathetic life. Buttom feeding maggots like you are always entertaining.
P. P. S: Type ‘C’ for more verbal abuse. My pleasure, you’re welcome, motherfucker.
Oh f*ck. What the hell is going on here.
How can anyone get a hold of anyone’s tax returns? And it’s not like they’ll stay up for that long on XPT & GFY. How does someone even approach a lawyer asking can I post someone’s tax returns on a public forum?
You’ll even be banned on GFY. Though I did dodge a bullet on GFY and was almost banned weeks ago after I said Bill Asher allegedly raped Stefani Morgan. I made my case and explained everything and I was asking if anyone who buys shares in Playboy would have access to the Playboy mansion and around all the playmates. So my question was a legitimate question about Asher and about the safety of the playmates. I wasn’t banned and the post is still up! But posting tax returns will be deleted and get yourself banned.
Right you are, Darrah.
In reality, I know for sure nobody has my 2008 tax return information; it was an ignorant hoax orchestrated by Al Blanco and his coleague, Joe from Tujunga, CA AKA X-Dude. For his screen name, Joe at first chose the name of the company that based on a big foot theory about my identity by ZeeInsideAdult, Joe and bi-polar freak Al Blanco think is the name of my company; and since posting any true, false, hidden or public information about those who use stage names is a violation of LIB rules, Cindi changed that screen name to multiple Xs. These morons tried to bluff me to believing they know me; and that 2008 tax return information was the most asinine, ridiculous and stupid plan anybody could think of. Somebody should be literary insane and extremely frustrated to think of something like that. Let me give you an example: Imagine in trying to bluff to make you believe I was at your house, I tell you I know you have this or that item in your bedroom closet. Of course since it’s your closet, you know exactly what you have and what you don’t have in there. So it becomes obvious that I’m bluffing. Same here, when Al Blanco and his retarded coleague spew this 2008 tax return bullshit, it easily and immediately became clear and evident they’re talking out of their ass, because I know the amount I made and reported in 2008 and they don’t.
One may ask how did I figure out the connection between Al Blanco and Joe from Tujunga, CA. I had my suspicions, since they both appeared on this thread simultaneously, as if they have made prior arrangements. But Al Blanco confirmed my suspicion when he wrote this in his #99 comment:
‘He (Joe from Tujunga, CA) didn’t name himself Xs. His name is your company and Cindi made it Xs not to protect you but because she doesn’t feel like going through the headache your constant whiny tantrums put her through.’
How would Al Blanco know what Joe from Tujunga, CA named himself if the name he chose never appeared on this board? The answer is they were in contact and planned this mockery together. Once again, Al Blanco proved what incompetent, pathetic, vicious piece of shit he is. However, I must admit it was another round of good fun and laughs, provided by miserable freakshow clown Al Blanco. I would have felt sorry for him, only if I didn’t despise and hate him so deeply.
I would have loved to read the tell-all expose about The Colonel’s identity on various porn message boards including XPT, GFY, etc. that Joe from Tujunga, CA AKA X-Dude bragged about. However, I believe I have a better chance in catching Santa Clause than reading that expose.
Poor, sad Porn Fan/Jerry/Dude is sleeping, dreaming of porn pussy again. Next morning, he’ll wake up in a wet bed, takes a long, scornful look at himself in the mirror and starts another miserable day of his worthless life. Later, he’ll visit LIB to check the news, gossip, comments, etc.
So I’ll leave this message for you, Jerry: I have something for you (pointing to my fist). Drop me a line so you don’t lose your place in line. I’ll shove this fist in your rectum when your number’s up. Until then, keep on dreaming, little Jerry; and tell us about your dreams, too. We would love to laugh at you and ridicule the hell out of you. It’s fun.
Dirtbag loser.
thanks colon for putting me at the top of the “loserof LIB” list! as far as what i like to jerk to is milf, mid to late thirties to forty plus whores. i have a feeling that xxxxxdude is a punk kid who was fucking around, but its obvious you are protected here on lib of your identity, but you’ll be outed on the other boards soon enough. the colon “i prefer my identity to remain secret so i can continue to write my shitty op/eds on lib”. yeah, whatever! poor colon going back and forth to the various porn message boards to see if his identity has been revealed. ha!ha!ha! oh, and thats Mr. dirtbag or scumbag to you biatch!
In fact Porn Fan/Jerry/Dude, it’s at least good to know you realize that Joe from Tujunga, CA AKA X-dude was a punk kid, fucking around. As for my identity, it’s protected on LIB, as well as the identities of other adult industry people; so mine is no exception. My friends and coleagues in the adult industry know who I am and what I do. As for the rest of people, for example a middle age masturbating Joe Shmoe like you, the reason you don’t know that is because you’re not in the adult industry, I don’t know you and don’t do business with you, therefore I don’t see why should I discuss my identity with you; and frankly I don’t understand what’s your obsession with me, and how knowing my identity will make any difference in your life.
I assure you I don’t go back and forth on any porn message boards to check anything. People can blow bullshit in your face everyday; but until and unless they back up their big foot theories with concrete evidence and proof, their rants don’t matter, and niether do yours.
at least you were somewhat civil just now in your statement. i’ll leave you alone and let the insults lie.
Wow, this guy really has no grip on reality. I know about the XXXXX thing from a tweet on twitter…. and Bruce Bruce is a stand-up comic retard.