Kiki-This woman was just made for the title of “Anal Queen.”

by Kiki D’aire

How many times have you opened your email and found some silly personality quiz that has questions like have you ever had sex in public or do you fart in front of your significant other? I know I’ve gotten tons of them. Then there are the ones that promise to tell you just how like Marilyn Monroe you are or if you resemble some other celebrity. While these quizzes are usually good for a chuckle, there is one question on the personality type quizzes that some pimply faced kid makes that an actual personality quiz question on a number of tests approved by various professional associations. The question is who would you most like to meet and why.

Most of my answers are pretty standard. I’d like to pick Madonna’s brain and learn how to be a tireless self promoter, I’d like to learn strategy over tea with Queen Elizabeth I and I would love to get advice from Coco Chanel on how to do it all with style.

That said while most women I know would love to get femme fatale lessons from Marilyn Monroe, I’d rather cozy up to a woman that was so legendary that no man she could think of would ever measure up or want to (at least that was what she said).

I’m talking about none other than Tallulah Bankhead.

Keep in mind, I’d never heard of her until I came across a collection of quotes from her that included things like, "I am as pure as the driven slush" and "My father warned me about men and whiskey, but he didn’t warn me about women and cocaine." Yeah! Now that is my kind of woman; beauty, brains and a devilish wit. In fact, I think that the who you would want to meet and why question should be amended to what celebrity do you think would make a kick ass adult actor/actress and why. An accomplished star of stage that was known for her wild antics in public and private, yet had no patience for Hollywood.

Damn, what a loss…my bet is she probably would have made one hell of a porn star! She was famous for doing things like driving around lost until she telephoned a cabbie and paid him to drive in front of her to where she was going. She was said to have been able to drink most anyone under the table- Wankus look out! And her list of lovers was more illustrious then Heidi Fleiss’ black book.

This woman was just made for the title of "Anal Queen." I’m sure if Jim Powers asked her to do a bukkake and guzzle cum she wouldn’t have blinked an eye. Yep, this woman is someone that I’d love to have sake bombs with because as she said, "It’s good girls that keep diaries, bad girls don’t have time."

Kiki just started a new blog at www.kikidaire.wordpress.com