GAUGE-Exclusive interview

Gorgeous, elusive, reclusive Gauge does her first interview in ages. 
by Cindi Loftus of www.Xcitement.com

What can I say, I love Gauge. She’s been my friend for years, and I plan on keeping her as a friend for many more years. I also love Jason, Gauge’s husband, and my husband loves Gauge and Jason. So when you get lucky enough to find a couple of wonderful people like them, you want them around as much as possible. What’s funny is that we have totally different views on most things, political and religious, but we never argue about it. We’d rather talk about mashed potatoes and old people. And oh, btw, Gauge used to do porn movies. She hasn’t done a movie in a while, but she still shoots hot sex scenes; only for her official website which you would think I named – ILoveGauge.com. I also think she and I are pretty funny together. Let me know what you think…

Xcitement: Hi Sweetie. You still making dinner?

Gauge: No I’m doing dishes and I just put it in the oven.

X: What did you make?

G: It’s fried hamburger meat in a casserole dish, then put cut and peeled potatoes and sliced onion and a can of cream of mushroom soup on top.

X: That sounds good!

G: It’s real good.

X: No mashed potatoes out of the container?

G: (laughs) No I use real potatoes out of the bag.

X: You know they don’t just have already mashed potatoes at the grocery store. You can also buy potatoes that are already peeled and cut up too.

G: Yeah. No.

X: That was the funniest look on Jason’s face when I took the premade mashed potatoes out of the microwave and started scraping them into the bowl. I could see the WTF is that in his eyes.

G: Well we use real potatoes ‘round here.

X: I know, little miss housewife slash college student. Since you’re my friend I don’t have to beat around the bush and get you all warmed up I can just start right off with the sex questions, right?

G: Sure, go ahead.

X: You live on a beautiful lot in Arkansas that is twenty-eight acres. How many of those acres have you had sex on?

G: (Laughs) About twenty of ‘em.
X: So you have a lot of sex outside.
G: Jason is half assed trying to listen to our conversation. So he is thinking twenty what?

X: Well he can tell me all about your sex life if he wants too.

G: He has a twenty-inch dick.

X: Oh my God, and he didn’t show it to me?

G: I’m kidding.

X: I’m putting in the article that your husband has a twenty-inch dick and that is why you married him! Does he have tattoos on his dick too?

G: Of course. He has a thermometer so he can check a girl’s temperature.

X: (Cracks up)

G: Right in the butt!

X: I have GOT to see that. Next time he comes over he has to show me his thermometer.
G: He says if it comes out, it has to take the temperature of whoever is looking at it.

X: It can take my temperature.

G: In your doodie hole?

X: Well it ain’t going in there.
Jason (in the background): Yes it is!

G: You should probably talk this over with YOUR husband before you agree to anything.

X: It might be okay with him. But it’s not okay with me. That hole is exit only.

G: (laughs)

X: How about in your butt?

G: Well it was exit only, but not anymore. Sometimes, even if it’s accidentally…

X: But do you like anal sex?

G: Weeelllll. Yeah sometimes. It depends on the mood.

X: Some girls love it. I was talking to Kylie Ireland and she would rather have anal sex then regular sex.

G: I’m so small. If it’s too big it really hurts.

X: Well that twenty inches must kill you.

G: Yeah!

X: So you went out on a boat today. Did you go fishing?

G: No. We went out with a couple friends that are getting into the industry.

X: Did you shoot some video?

G: No not yet. But we will. We just went out on the boat for a couple hours and then went out to eat. We are planning a trip to Austria together.

X: That will be a blast!

G: They love to travel and we do too.

X: Is it anyone I know?

G: Not yet. Her name is Angel Monaco. But they have only been doing internet stuff so far. I’m trying to get them hooked up with the right people. We’ll probably shoot some content.

X: What else have you been up too?

G: Well I am working with senior citizens.

X: (Laughs) God do you have two different lives or what? A college student who works with old people slash strip dancer, porn star. Do a lot of people where you live know that you were a porn star?

G: Sometimes people ask me if I am Gauge and I don’t really answer them.

X: They have to know. They probably all talk about you when you aren’t there.

G: Probably. There is a guy at my church who said to me, I know who you are I am a big fan. And I’m like, no! He said “You don’t tell anybody, I won’t tell anybody.”

X: That’s great. You got lucky. Your professors probably go home every night and jerk off to your movies.

G: Oh Lord. I don’t think any of my teachers know. They are too old.

X: I think they probably have memberships to your website.

G: Good Lord, no.

X: So you been out shooting guns lately?

G: Yeah. We always do that.

X: How do you mix guns and sex together?

G: Let me just say consensual, but forceful. It’s hot.

X: It is hot. Well if you ever want to play here, I’ll get my tazer out!

G: Oh no. I think that would make a boner go down really quick.

X: You are such a toughie. Gauge with her guns, her back woods acreage and her pet pit bulls. Do you have a confederate flag up at your house?

G: (Laughs) No but I should. I do pull out of my driveway listening to “If the South Woulda Won I’d Had it Made.” You ever heard that song?

X: No, I don’t listen to a lot of KUNtry music.

G: It goes “If the south woulda won I’d had it made. I’d run for president of the southern states.”

X: Do you consider yourself a redneck?

G: Not a redneck. An Arkansanian.

X: Ark-INSANE-ian.

G: I am wearing the shirt you guys gave me, the one that says “Want some Xcitement?”

X: That’s great! I hope we took a picture of that. Let me go back to you working with senior citizens. What do you do?

G: I work for a program that keeps them at home instead of them having to go in a nursing home. I take care of them. I make their meals or drive them to a doctor’s appointment. It’s very rewarding. Most of them have Alzheimer’s. It’s humbling because ultimately you are working with someone, helping them in their last days, taking care of their nutritional needs, their emotional needs, and they will never remember you or your name, and you’ll never get a thank you. There is something humbling about that.

X: It’s very giving, with getting only the good feeling of doing it as your reward. That’s a tough job. Certainly is different from the last couple you had! (Laughs)

G: That’s for sure. They are in their last days and you are making them feel good.

X: You are so sweet and caring. That’s why I LOVE GAUGE! Everybody loves GAUGE, even old people LOVE GAUGE.

G: They do. This couple I take care of, she has Alzheimer’s and he has the first stages of it. They are in their nineties. We went for a walk. They were in front of me. And she taps him on the elbow and holds out her hand and he takes her hand. And they were just walking along holding hands. It was the sweetest thing I ever saw. I was all teary eyed because it reminded me of the movie “The Notebook”

X: I love/hate that movie.

G: I know.

X: It was fun doing the photo shoot for this at my house. I thoroughly enjoyed putting whipped cream on your boobs.

G: And I enjoyed it as well.

X: I had three or four more set ups I wanted to do but we ran out of time. I had four pounds of Hershey Kisses I was going to pour over you.

G: Damn you! I could have eaten some of those.

X: I was also going to put a whole wad of money in front of the fan and blow it all around you and let you try and catch it. So we didn’t get to do all the things I wanted to, but it was fun.

G: It was.

X: I wish you would have stayed longer. I think you ought to feature in South Florida once every couple months so you and Jason can come down to see us. We don’t like too many people, so you should feel privileged!

G: (Laughs)
X: Of course I only hang around with smart people, Miss Honor Roll.
G: Honor Society! I got straight A’s. All 100’s.

X: That’s fabulous. I am proud of you. Aren’t you proud of yourself?

G: I am proud of myself.

X: You should be proud of your self little girl! So you have three tattoos now. One on your lower back…

G: One on my neck and one on my foot. I’d be all about getting some sleeves and all that but I am too small for that. You have to have bigger thicker arms to have sleeves that look right.

X: I love Janine’s.

G: She’s bigger then me. You have to be a normal sized girl to have sleeves. Otherwise I would look like a midget with tattooed arms. I probably will get more tattoos on my legs when I am out of the industry.

X: I like the ankle ones. I’m going to ask you some favorites now. Swear word?

G: Oh, probably cock-sucker.

X: (Laughs) Favorite alcohol?

G: Red wine.

X: Favorite thing to drive?

G: Everybody crazy.

X: (Laughs)

G: No, my tractor.

X: Oh, you’re not much of a redneck. Outdoor activity?

G: Anything. I love outdoors. Shooting guns. Going on the Boat. Fishing. Four-wheeling.

X: Favorite food?

G: Mashed potatoes.

X: But not Cindi’s mashed potatoes.

G: Not your mashed potatoes out of the package!

X: Who are you voting for President?

G: McCain.

X: (Laughs) You are such a Republican! Favorite junk food?

G: And you are such a Democrat. Homemade chocolate cake.

X: Favorite beer?

G: Steigl. I had it in Austria and I loved it.

X: Favorite book? You are going to tell me the Porn Star Bible, aren’t you?

G: No I was going to say the name of your book.

X: That’s so sweet of you, but my book is not out yet.

G: Well if you ever reuse this interview stick in the name of your book.

X: Okay I will, thank you.

G: The Other Bolin Girl. I like anything that has to do with old kings and queens. But I also like the book “Somebody’s Got to say it” by Neil Bork. That’s a damn good book.

X: And it’s Republican?

G: Well it sure the hell ain’t Democrat!

X: Is it one of those right wing Christian books?

G: No. He’s actually a Libertarian. So it’s not Republican. I’m not a total Republican. I think I am more of a Libertarian.

X: I think I am more of a Libertarian too. How can we both be Libertarians if we don’t agree on any politics? Favorite song?

G: YOU are not a Libertarian. That’s hard because I love all music. This is going to sound cheesy, but Amazing Grace.

X: Now it’s my turn to say this- Oh my Lord!

G: (Cracks up) Cindi, you need Jesus!

X: (Laughs) Okay, I know better then to get in that conversation. So I’ll change the subject. Do you have a message for your fans my Love?

G: I’ve always got new stuff going up on my website. I surprise my self all the time. And I like to surprise you guys. There is a bunch of free stuff there too. Check it out.

ILoveGauge.com

See brand new naked pix of Gauge at:

www.xcitement.com/interview/?page_id=269