A friend calls.
I tell him my problems.
Friend channeling Woody Allen in Love and Death: "To live is to suffer. To love is to suffer. To marry is to suffer. I only want to get divorced."
"On some dating sites I’m on, it takes weeks and months to hear back. Of course I don’t write back to those whores."
Luke: "Hey, did you ever nail Barb*?"
Friend: "You’ve asked me that 216 times."
Luke: "Well, I started thinking about her today."
When I first got to LA 13 years ago, I shoved my friend out of the way so I could talk to Barb. We went out once and nothing happened. A few years later, my friend starting seeing her.
Luke: "New York town left with no police during trip to New Jersey hooters."
Friend: "What?"
Luke: "I’m watching Fox News."
"These girls are hot."
"I haven’t gotten a date out of that Jewish Journal article."
Fred: "How did you find 60 chicks to email? I’ve seen it."
Luke: "I’ve gotten lower standards than you. I’m inclusive."
Fred: "Whatever happened to…?"
Luke: "Don’t bring her up. Bad memory."
"One woman from JDate was hot to trot until I referred her to my Jewish Journal profile."
Friend: "Why would you refer them to that?"
Luke: "Might as well sort ’em out."
Friend: "Might as well bang ’em and then sort it out."
"How bad was that article anyway?"
Luke: "It was pretty bad."
Friend: "Scared her off."
"You want young chicks anyway."
Luke: "At this point, I’ll take anything."
"I’ve lost my mojo."
Friend: "Have you tried other services?"
Luke: "Maybe I’ll try frumster."
Friend: "You’re frum."
Luke: "Well…"
Friend: "You’re a little wild for the frum crowd. You’re not quite a ready for primetime frumster. Try JewishFriendFinder."
Luke: "Isn’t that for sex?"
Friend: "No. That’s adultfriendfinder. Wait until you see who’s on that site. Wow. Ain’t no Jews on that site. And if there are, you’ll never find them."
"There are quite a few non-Jewish girls on JDate looking for Jewish guys. How come there aren’t non-Jewish guys looking for Jewish girls? It’s like looking for comedy in the Muslim world."
"Try these free sites. Matchdoctor.com and adultmatchdoctor.com. Webdate.com. Any of the FriendFinder sites. Plentyoffish.com."
I read an article in the National Post or Globe and Mail about PlentyOfFish.com. http://www.PlentyOfFishc.com is run out of Vancouver by a guy in his apartment. He has 10 off-site servers and his dating site is one of the largest of there is. It is 100% free and he makes his dough from advertising. It I were him, I’d cash out before the next big thing comes along.
Main I wish I could edit my posts …
http://www.plentyoffish.com
In order to weed through all the listings, one needs to understand the true nature of online pickup sites. Far too many are full of fake profiles. And the ones that are real include web addicts, the socially inept or preoccupied yuppies who don’t have time for relationships.
That only leaves the old fashioned way to meet women through actual physical interaction. I’d suggest various Jewish community functions or events where nobody knows who you are. Hancock Park and Fairfax used to be bastion districts but due to the LA illegal alien invasion, those old areas aren’t as Jewish anymore.
Try Encino in the valley. It’s a SFV oasis with many Israeli immigrants who run local businesses. Use an orthodox name to hide your identity. In the end, love is found when you aren’t looking for at and least expect it. Like fame and fortune, it’s all about fate and luck.