Conky’s Conquests

Conky writes on XPT:

If I can find the time between advising all of Hollywood on its mainstream movie releases–thanks to Shane Bugbee for helping me get that gig–I might start prepping my own reality show and invite all the porn chicks who look vulnerable to take part.

The cameras will be hidden around my office and home and the format of the show will basically be breaking the girls’ spirits mentally and physically with donkey punch sex, pistol whippings and maybe some car dragging, then moving to cruel insults about their skin and hair. Then, when I’ve got them at a low ebb, I’ll introduce them to the spiritual influence of meth, before auctioning them off to influential Middle Eastern businessmen.

I think it’s a ratings winner.

3 thoughts on “Conky’s Conquests

  1. May I suggest POV style pistol whippings, Mr. Conky. I like to really feel involved in the pistol whippings I watch. Make sure to polish the Desert Eagle first for maximum cinematic effect.

  2. King, in gun forums discusing the subject of pistol whipping (yes they discuss things like that) somebody told me that nothing says pistol whip like an Smith and Wesson N Frame revolver. The worse guns for pistol whipping are plastic framed pistols like the Glock. Take note.

  3. Awesome. That’s invaluable information for future pistol whippings. Thanks.

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