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Sunday, July 10, 2005

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April Florio Receives The Experience Of A Lifetime

Luke F-rd's greatest claim to fame, besides being a world famous moral leader and role model, is his tremendous skill as an interviewer. Mr Ford has interviewed the high and the low, from grizzled Hollywood producers to 18 year old p-rn lovelies. My Moral Leader then writes fascinating profiles, sometimes short and snappy, occasionally long and meandering, which he posts on the L-ke Ford Family of Blogs; or publishes in one of his many books. Contra cretin Ira Stoll of the New York Sun, these are not mere "transcripts" -- no, no, no! -- but carefully edited interviews with contextualising commentary by the Great Mr Ford himself.

To be the subject of a Luke F-rd interview and profile is to be blessed by intimately experiencing one of the true masters of the craft of interview journalism.


FROM PAGE SIX TO PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE
STARLETTE AND MODEL APRIL FLORIO COMES CLEAN

I interview April Floria (born May 28, 1982) by phone Friday, July 8, 2005.

New York, NY, July 5, 2005-Gossip page vixen April Florio sets the record and the rumors straight in the August 2005 issue of Penthouse Magazine in an exclusive interview with Penthouse reporter Chaunce Hayden.

The 22-year-old actress and model made headlines as the woman who wrecked Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's marriage for weeks before the paparazzi caught Angelina Jolie canoodling with Pitt.

"Everyone had a different story to tell about it. It was like that telephone game where the story just keeps getting wilder and wilder," said the blond-haired beauty who was named one of Maxim Magazine's top ten most beautiful girls next door.

Currently living in Florida, Miss Florio not only rebuffed the tall, torrid tales, but also had a lot to say about Jennifer Anniston ("I loved her in Friends but she never seems to be able to get out of that character."), and Angelina Jolie ("If you ask any girl what other girl would she sleep with she'd say Angelina Jolie.").

Luke: "When you were a girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

April: "A singer. I'm working on that now. I started out modeling [at age eleven] and then I thought, maybe I should get into acting. Then I thought I should get back into singing while I'm doing the acting.

"My father was a singer and his mother was a singer in Italy.

"I grew up all over the place. I was an Air Force brat. I was born in Mount Clemens, Michigan. Moved to Texas, San Francisco, back to Michigan, Pennsylvania, lived in New York. Now I'm in Florida."

Luke: "How do you think moving so much as a kid affected you?"

April: "I loved it. It's nice that some people grew up in the same place and had the same friends but I don't think that I could do that. I love being able to leave that place and become a different person and start anew. People don't know that I used to do cartwheels all the time. Not that it really matters but in fifth grade everybody knows your business. But nobody knows when you move unless you tell them."

Luke: "What were you expected to become?"

April: "I think everybody has always known that I was going to be in the entertainment industry. It's not like anybody thought I was going to be a lawyer or anything even though I'd probably make a pretty damn good one."

Luke: "What kind of crowd did you hang out with in highschool?"

April: "I was a nerd until ninth grade when I became the cocoon turns into a butterfly thing. In the middle of tenth grade, I moved to PA. I was the girl who was friends with everybody."

Luke: "You didn't have a particular crowd?"

April: "I guess you could say the sports people and the preppie popular kids. I was a soccer player (midfielder) for ten years. Can't you tell by my legs? I ran track. I was number one in state in sixth grade for sprints."

Luke: "What kind of a student were you?"

April: "I was supposed to be skipped up to two grades but after my father passed away when I was 13, I was like, ok, whatever. I think I was supposed to be taken back a grade. Then I got back into it and sometimes I'd be a straight-A student and sometimes Cs and Ds.

"I was a social butterfly. My mom told me that they checked me to see if I had ADD or retardation or something. Even though I was so smart. The Rain Man. I would dance around the classroom and draw butterflies on my chest."

Luke: "Did your mother punish you if you got bad grades?"

April: "No. But when my father was alive, he would come in a lime-green jumpsuit and ponytail, and he had barely enough hair to put in one, and he was Italian, he had it zipped down a little and there was a little hair poking out on his chest, and he'd come and embarrass the heck out of me if I did badly in any subject.

"I sorta miss that. It was so hilarious. I was so embarrassed at the time. I think that was the biggest punishment I ever got."

Luke: "What did you do after highschool?"

April: "I gave myself a year and then I went to New York [to model]. Then I decided to become an actress."

Luke: "Did you get on the chatboards?"

April: "I just looked at that yesterday because people were telling me about it. I know just who those people are. It's not like it's random fans or people who hate me. Those are people in PA I became friends with after I graduated. One of the girls is bipolar. She was my best friend. Another one is an ex-boyfriend. I'm friends with most of my ex-boyfriends.

"It doesn't really affect me. If they have time to go online and research me and follow my career, then it obviously means they care. You would think that I would be all upset about it but I'm a tough cookie."

Luke: "Did you post on there?"

April: "No. I wouldn't waste my energy on it."

Florio is separated from her husband. They married December 28, 2004. "He wasn't a very nice person."

Luke: "How would your best friends describe your personality?"

April: "Outgoing, truthful. I'll just say the first thing that comes to mind. I'm a social butterfly who needs to get checked for being ADD again. I love being funny. I still feel like I'm 16 sometimes. Last night I took my camcorder out that my mom got me for Christmas, and [with her friends] we did skits and picked up a couple of my ex-boyfriends. I have a youthful spirit and I like to stick around people who do as well."

Luke: "Huh."

April: "You sound interested. Huh. Huh? Are you sleeping yet?"

Luke: "I'm interested. I haven't slept for a week so I'm a mess."

April: "Ahh. I didn't sleep the whole time I was in New York."

Luke: "You understand. I listen to people when they talk, so I don't have a preset list of questions that I bang off. I listen. I think. I respond."

April: "Ohmigod, a man who listens?"

Luke: "What qualities do you find attractive in a man?"

April: "Truthful. He doesn't have to be thinking about something when you ask him, what are you thinking about now? I like nice hands. That's the only physical trait I love. I don't like an insecure man. I've dated so many. You just want them to be happy, so you're complimenting them all the time."

Duke: "Are you into older guys or what age range?"

April: "I blame it on the Gemini in me. That changes. I used to like the younger boys. I remember the guy I was truly in love with. He [Mark] was 16. I was 18 when we started. It was my longest relationship -- a year-and-a-half.

"After that, I started dating people who were younger than me. It's like you can teach them. I don't know. I might've ruined him."

Luke: "Isn't that called statutory rape?"

April: "I didn't do anything badly to him until he was at least 17-and-a-half. It was legal at that point. That's how you can tell I truly liked him. I didn't try anything on him for a while."

Luke: "Are you normally the aggressor?"

April: "Yes. But I let him grow to be that way. He was very mature for his age. He went through a period where he wasn't, like after we broke up.

"It seems like when I date older men, like when I said Brad Pitt was my mother's age, men go through this period where all they want is to get laid, and that's not what I'm interested in.

"I just wanted to be around somebody who looked further than skin deep and really liked who I was. I figured that if I went a little older, that it would be that way. I know my mom's got it together and she's about to be 42."

April and I bond over our both being born on May 28. "That's awesome," she says. "I always love people who are born on that day. There are a lot of May 31sts and they end up being evil. Us Geminis can be crazy and then there are some who are balanced. Our two personalities get along with each other."

Luke: "What are the characteristics of someone born on May 28?"

April: "We're independent. We love different things. We're whirlwinds. We get disinterested pretty easily unless you really have drag and you really love something and you completely stick to it. That's why I didn't mind moving, but obviously you said you minded."

Luke: "I found it really traumatic."

April: "Aww. It makes me want to cradle you."

Luke: "You're pretty outgoing, I guess. I found it more difficult to make friends. Did you make friends easily?"

April: "Yes, I did. There's always a period, a week or two into your moving, where you don't know anybody..."

Luke: "I wonder how all that moving affected you?"

April: "Are you doing psychology on me?"

Luke: "No. I've never taken a class in psychology."

April: "Well, I did. I went to college for a bit, psychology, but I'm like, I can't do this. What I like about psychology is interpersonal relations and people-watching and trying to figure out how long someone's been together and if they're happy. I'm the sort of person who likes to help people. It took me years to figure out that people like to help themselves. That they have to help themselves. You can only give them a little push. I decided that if I do that in my real life, why would I want to do that in my job? It would just take over. And there are so many sad stories.

"When I was growing up, people would say, oh, you just want to hang out with this person because they have a worse life than you and you just want to feel better about your's. I'm like, no, I really have this thing where I want to reach out and help everybody.

"I figured out who I could help.

"I went through a lot of traumatic experiences. 'Let me help you and let you know that everything's going to be ok and try to steer you in the right direction. And if it doesn't work, then maybe you just want to be that way. Maybe in time you'll be stronger and want to do that yourself.'"

April says she's had more male friends since her early teens.

Luke: "Do girls get jealous of you?"

April: "I don't recognize that. I don't even recognize when men are checking me out. My mom recognized it when I was 13 and we were walking through the mall. She was like, 'Eww, that's my daughter.'

"I'm a flirty person. Not a tease, but I flirt with men, women. It's just part of my personality. Maybe that would bother people. But I'm not a boyfriend stealer. Or a husband."

Luke: "Did you get hurt by the publicity that surrounded the Brad Pitt thing?"

April: "It might've hurt my career. I still have yet to figure that out. I wasn't personally hurt. It's really hard for me to be personally hurt. You have to say something really messed up. The only time somebody has really personally hurt me has been talking about my dad passing away.

"I've had such an interesting life where I had to start anew and things happened that were traumatic and then you wake up another day and things are fine.

"After a month-and-a-half of going through all the publicity, I realized that I could completely handle it. It's not that hard to say, no, I'm not working at a carnival or dating Yani."

Luke: "Has all this affected the way people treat you?"

April: "Maybe a few people. I've never been one to talk about the things that I do because I do them for myself and my career. If somebody asks about them, then I'll say something.

"When I'm going out, my friends love to call me 'Homewrecker!' as a joke because of the whole Brad thing. But it really didn't happen. My friends will say: 'She's a homewrecker! She stole Brad away from Jenn.' I'll be like, ohmigod, and then I'll laugh. And people will say, 'Ohmigod. That's you? I liked you before but I like you so much more now.'

"If there had been an interest between him and I while he was married, I would've brushed him off because I'm not the kind of person who gets involved with someone who's married."

Luke: "What do you do with your spare time?"

April: "What spare time? I'm still working in all facets of the entertainment industry -- film, modeling and starting to sing again.

"When I got married, I made him promise that he wouldn't mind my career. But when we got married, and he realized that I was going to be on the phone or on the internet or on a trip, I'm not going to see her a lot and she's going to be around all these people, and there starts to be an insecurity and then your relationship goes down the tubes. I think it's his fault."

Luke: "What do you love and what do you hate about working in the entertainment industry?"

April: "I love in acting to become another person. I was working at that when I was younger. I worked at a ton of different jobs -- car wash, t-shirt girl at Hooters, waitress... Just so I could have a taste of everything and so that would help me further my acting experience so that if I could play a part, I knew I had already had experience in it.

"Singing. I've always wanted to be a moment in someone's life where they had their first kiss and they had me in the background.

"I want to make people laugh. I want to make people cry. I love the arts and entertainment. There's not much of an excuse for the modeling. It's just something that pays. I don't mind striking a pose."

Luke: "Would you pose naked?"

April: "That would be a tough thing. For years I've had my mom, who I love dearly, say don't do it. Maybe I would down the road. I love my body now. I'm not a skinny girl. I'm a thicker Beyonce/JLo thing. That's the Italian/Brazilian in me. I love my body but I'm not sure that I'm ready to bare it to the world. I used to say that only the person that I'm married to is going to be able to see it, but that didn't last very long. We'll see what happens with my naked body in the future."

Luke: "When you play many different roles, do you ever find it hard to reestablish who your true self is?"

April: "No. That's one of the great things about me."

She laughs. "That's one of the wonderful things about me -- I'm obsessed with myself.

"No. Because I loved who I was for a long time. For a while, I forgot about that when you go to highschool and all that stuff. Eighteen to twenty two is a change in your life. You realize what you don't like about yourself and you try to become as close as possible to that clear simple person, that logic you had as a younger. That's what I've done now.

"Most of the acting I do is comedy, which doesn't make me feel like I've fallen into another zone.

"I like this interview. It's very curious. I had a few earlier and they were like, hey, bla bla bla. This one's cool. I like being interviewed."

Luke: "I like to go deep."

April: "Get deep into the core of April Florio."

Luke: "I'm not interested in the Brad Pitt tabloid stuff. I'm interested in what makes you tick and who you really are."

April: "That's good."

Luke: "What would you say have been the biggest turning points in your life?"

April: "My dad made me try out for the Mickey Mouse Club when I was eleven. I got third or fourth callback. I guess I wasn't ethnic enough. It's funny that Britney Spears and Christina Aguilerra were picked that year.

"That really made me want to do the singing, the acting, the everything. I knew that I had what it took. I would give a $100 reward to somebody at Disney who could come up with my audition tape. I rocked out Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. I think I had a better voice when I was younger because I went through years where I smoked cigarettes.

"Before that [Mickey Mouse Club audition], I was just singing and dancing in my kitchen with my family after my dad got out of work. We taped that. Maybe one day you'll see those out.

"When my father passed away, that was a negative turning point. You go through all your grievances, your sadness, shock, anger. I remember in ninth grade I threw a book at my teacher.

"Then I had a Drivers Ed teacher. He had the wheel as well. He knew that my father had drowned. Everyone in Lake Orion had read in the paper and knew. He yanked over his wheel while I was driving correctly and he said to me, 'Do you want me to throw you in the lake like you did your dad?'

"I was balling my eyes out. I told my mom about it. He got fired. He was a senile old man.

"If anyone ever said anything about my first love [at 18 when she first saw Mark], that hurt. First love is when you give your heart away completely. You can't give it away completely to anybody else after that.

"Mark was dating one of my best friends, Stephanie. She'd asked me to talk to him to see if they could get back together. This was four months after they had broken up. I ended up falling head-over-heels in love with the kid."

Luke: "What was it about him that so moved you?"

April: "He was the person I wanted to go back to. He was me when I was 16. He was a Gemini. May 22. Nothing had touched him. He was cute. He was the simple pure person I wanted to be."

Luke: "Who ended the relationship?"

April: "It was a mutual thing. You're getting really deep down into everything now. I had panic disorders. I guess I had post-traumatic stress after my father died.

"After my father passed away, we had a psychologist. Her husband bought her the practice. She ended up killing herself two months after. She left a note saying she couldn't handle it.

"There goes me going, 'Ohmigod, I killed my psychiatrist too.'

"I got a panic disorder for two years [18-20]. It kept getting worse. I'd go somewhere and I'd get a panic attack. A lot of people experience them and they're the worst. I didn't want to be on medicine.

"I talked to a priest. He said I should go on medication.

"We went through every exercise we could to make the panic go away. When Mark and I broke up, I was afraid to leave my house. I was agoraphobic for a couple of months."

Luke: "What type of things would trigger the panic attacks?"

April: "I knew it had something to do with my father dying. He was the only man in my life when I was younger. I was daddy's little girl. The whole thing involved me. I had fallen into the lake and he had to rescue me. And that was the way that he passed [in a separate incident].

"The psychologist who killed herself told me that I had post-traumatic stress disorder. I never did anything about it. I read that if you don't do anything about it, it turns into panic disorder.

"I've been to counseling. It doesn't seem to help. If someone tells me a sad story about someone passing away, it just freaks me out and I'll get a panic attack. I think it's mental and hormonal."

Luke: "Does it happen before the monthly thing?"

April: "Yes. It gets worse before that time. I'd become sad. Everything would touch me. Lifetime movies, you better get out of here. I would ball.

"I've been on the medication for a year-and-a-half.

"He said a month after we broke up that I had changed. I didn't go on the medication until after I broke up with him. My emotional overdrive went 100 miles per hour. I would be all sad and sweet and want him to be near me. He was in highschool and he was hot and all the cheerleaders wanted him. He ended up dating a 15-year old cheerleader for a minute so he could get that out of his system.

"Wow. I don't think I even told any of my good friends any of this stuff. You're getting to the core. You don't have a psychology degree?"

Luke: "No. I went to therapy for years."

April: "Hello? We've got our own crew."

Luke: "Have you kept a diary?"

April: "My diary mostly consists of poetry. I find it easier to write in rhyme and beautiful words and things like that. I'm such a dramatic person. I like everything to be magnified.

"Right now I'm outside and it's so beautiful I could sit here and write a poem. That's what I like to do on my down time -- I like to draw and write poetry. I'm also going to work on a script."

Luke: "What are the most common themes you write about in your poetry?"

April: "It's usually love and then it goes deeper than that. I have a poem I wrote years ago [at age 16] that was about nail polish and how women can be like nail polish. They can be painted on and taken out and everybody adores them. Then, in one swipe of alcohol, they can be gone.

"It's all really deep stuff. Like somebody you meet who'd gone to 'Nam and was on acid for a hundred years and the stuff they talk about. All the way deep down into that core. Life is too short not to try to figure out everything."

Luke: "Can you recite for me any of your poems?"

April: "This one is really important to me but it's not like the most beautiful poem. This is how my father's death affected my relationships with men."

To walk on water
To feel so high
To never say never
And never say goodbye

To walk on water
You might still be...

"Oh God. I messed up. 'A chance to live almost Heavenly.' That's what it is."

To walk on water
And finally embrace
The sad look on your face

"I am really messing up. That's the most bland but it has to do with walking on water. If I had been able to walk on water, nothing would've happened with my father.

"There's a part about not having to live in debt or fear. It intertwines with being able to fall in love.

"I either wanted people not to leave or wanted to not have them in my life because I didn't want anything to happen to them.

"It wasn't a psycho thing: 'You can't leave and here's the knife in my hand.'

"Now I've built up a wall. For years I was trying to help everybody else. Now I'm being selfish."

Luke: "Do you swim?"

April: "I couldn't swim for years. When I moved to Florida, I wouldn't swim anywhere where I couldn't see the bottom. I decided I had to get over this. One day I just started swimming. I'm basically a fish now.

"I almost drowned a few times before my dad passed away. My mom almost passed away a few times. She can't swim either. She can doggy paddle. She makes golden retrievers jealous."

Luke: "If you were stuck half a mile off shore, could you swim in?"

April: "I don't know. After smoking cigarettes, I can't even run to the stop sign. I think I could stay treaded long enough to scream to get people to help me."

Luke: "Do you have a favorite poet?"

April: "Dylan Thomas. And Emerson and the poetry from the Harlem Renaissance."

April says her family (her mother's maiden name is Hess, a relative of Adolf Hitler's friend Rudolph Hess), a couple of generations ago, owned the land that is now Harlem.

April: "Everybody thinks Harlem is so scary now but it is one of the safest places to go. The Harlem Renaissance is coming back. You'll see people's paintings on the corners or playing jazz or writing poetry."

Florio says she talks to her mother every other day.

"I take trains instead of planes as much as I can so I can be peaceful and look at the scenery."

Luke: "Are you afraid of flying?"

April: "No. It's kinda gross. My ears bleed. I get ear infections easy. Pressure when I'm up that high kills my head. I don't think you want to sit on a plane next to me and have my head explode all over you.

"Your voice is so chill. I think I'm tired again.

"So Luke is back from his zombie-like sleep."

Luke: "Playing the greatest hits of the '60s, '70s and '80s."

April: "Is that what you play?"

Luke: "I like '80s music."

April: "So do I."

Luke: "My favorite group is Air Supply."

April: "I can't live if living is without you. I love all that stuff. My ex-boyfriend played that song for me and then asked me back out. I want to sing so I can have one of those stories.

"I wish there was more Air Supply. You like the deep stuff too. I can tell. Let's get down to the bottom of Luke now. This is my turn. Are you having women problems? Let's talk about it. I can hear it in your voice.

"I don't like cats otherwise I'd be one of those ladies with a whole bunch of cats."

Chaim Amalek writes:

You need to ---- this girl. And then we need to invent a word to describe the act of having sex with women who have had sex with famous men. (When was that fling?) What does one ask a woman like this? Does she want it known that she ----ed Brad Pitt? What does she think of interracial adoption? Why won't Angelina Jolie make her own babies?

Why ask questions for which we all already know the answers? Luke, for all of us, ---- all of them. Then talk about it in your next book that you will never write (because you will be too busy writing a book about something both Jewish and boring): "The Vagina Dialogs: Women I've Copulated with Talk about the Celebrities Attached to the Penises They've Had"

Khunrum writes: "Chaim. Let us not forget that Luke's "young brother" is not performing up to par. He seems to be at permanent "parade rest." Should we take up a collection to buy him a few viagra tablets?"

I Want To Be Your Moral Leader

Luke F-rd is my moral leader. He's a wonderful influence on my life -- a true role model! One day I want to live in a hovel, drive a serial killer van, and write a p-rn blog just like him.

Setting goals is very important in life, otherwise you kinda drift and don't end up accomplishing much. I just hope I haven't set my goals too high. What if I don't succeed in life and end up living a hovel, driving a serial killer van, and writing a p-rn blog? Hold on, those are my life goals!

.......

How does my moral leader do it?

Well, it's because he's a practising Jew. Mr Ford is strengthened by the knowledge that he's bringing ethical monotheism to the very people most in need of transcendental guidance: the unclean wretches who make p-rnography. Really, it's an uplifting story of My Moral Leader's dedication and determination in the face of public opprobrium and horrifying health risks.

If I'm going to become a p-rn blogger, I must first convert to Judaism! It's the only way I will be able to overcome my immobilising fear.

But how does one go about converting? Is it not a difficult process requiring much study? I think so. It seems so daunting. Fortunately, Mr Ford's life story will be my guide. It will give me the encouragement I need on my long journey to become a successful p-rn blogger -- just like My Moral Leader!

An Ex-Stripper's Reflections

And it is such degrading work no matter how nice the club is on the inside. I always rushed home and took a shower. Alot of girls drink to cope with it. I found when I drank, I didn't make nearly as much money as when I did not. I don't really care for the taste of alcohol anyway. Lately, I have been wondering if there is more to life than working and paying bills.

Those places are like the devil's playground. Seriously, they are a one way ticket to a college degree (because you get so sick of it) or a dead end street (because you are unable to get out). I have friends that are still in that industry and miserable. I guess miserable is kind of relative. I mean working a 40 hour week and being a slave to a time clock is not exactly euphoric.

Lauren Phoenix On Dov Charney and American Apparel

Gene Ross, Lauren and I speak Thursday on set with Defiance Films.

Lauren, 26, says she never dated Dov. "He was a fan of mine. He loved my personality. He'd see it in BTS (Behind The Scenes footage) or just my character Lauren Phoenix. I'm pretty much myself 100% of the time. I'm not putting on any act. He just liked my no-holds-barred f----like-wild go-in-there-and-have-a-good-time and do crazy and enthusiastic scenes. He just really appreciated that.

"BTS is only where fans can see my true personality unless it's at conventions but my time there is always limited."

Lauren entered porn just over two years ago. "I was a dancer for about three-and-a-half years (in Canada (she grew up in Toronto) as well as Las Vegas and England). I've done most of my scenes (about 200) here in California.

"In England, they're not big tippers, but the money there is good. I danced in Stringfellows in London. Everybody everywhere likes strippers. Age plays more of a difference in the reaction to strippers than the place. Older men are gentlemen. They're more interested in having company and discussing things. They really want to get to know you. I love that. I learn a lot about people. That's one thing that made me want to get into porn so that I could learn about different people and meet different people. I've always been a big traveler. When I was a stripper, they all came to me, so I could learn about a lot of different places without going there.

"In Canada, I had to break a lot of balls. They're crazy over there."

Paola Rey Interview

I meet her on the Defiance Films set Thursday. Her test is a day old, so she can't work. I talk to her just before she leaves.

Paola was born and raised in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. She's been here in America and in porn for ten months. A friend introduced her to her first agent, Derek at LADirectModels.com. "After my first scene, I got addicted to it and now I can't stop. I'm a very affectionate person."

Duke: "What are your ambitions?"

Paola: "I never thought about it. I live for the moment and think about having a great time.

"Probably go back to Brazil and invest in real estate but never be away from porn. I want to be 40 years old and still able to do scenes.

"The [Rio] carnival. It brings tears to my eyes. It's like a piece of me."

Paola says she has a college degree in linguistics. "I teach Portugese and Brazilian literature there.

"As a child, I wanted to become a judge because my mom, later in life, became a lawyer."

How have the new 2257 regulations affected you?

She gets a stricken look on her face. "Ohmigod, for me that was, I don't even have words to describe, but it was really bad. It was really devastating. For a long time, I was shooting and doing what I wanted to do."

Palm Beach Furor

Tim Case writes:

The Palm Beach County Film Commission is out for blood, hot on the heels of a (false) rumor that G Star allowed their studios to be used for the shooting of a pornographic film. The Sheriff's Department is howling over allegations that naked adult film stars were cavorting with their deputies while on set. The administrators at G Star are backpedalling and finger-pointing, screaming that they didn't know what content the film was going to contain, had nothing to do with any wrongdoing, and should be absolved of all blame.

Dillan Lauren Interview

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Wednesday afternoon, July 6. Dillan says she's appeared in 100 films in her two years in porn (she got in through Brittany Star's husband).

Duke: "What do you love and hate about working in porn?"

Dillan: "Good money. Good job freedom. You can do what you want with the rest of your life. It's pretty easy."

Dillan, who stands 5'8" and measures 36C-27-38, was a stripper in Las Vegas for a couple of years. She spent 1999-2001 sailing around the world.

She left home at 15 (didn't see her parents for another five years, then they all became friends) and graduated highschool (after getting in a lot of fights) at 16.

Duke: "When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Dillan: "A teacher or an actress. Not to do porn."

Duke: "What were you expected to become?"

Dillan: "To have kids and get married."

Dillan listens through a cell phone as she is told that one of her scene partners, Sergio, tested negative.

Dillan: "Why can't he just bring his test to the set?"

Dillan says her parents are fine with her working in porn. "My mom went out and bought my Hustler."

Duke: "What if you worked with a black guy? Would that bother them?"

Dillan: "No comment. That's a stupid question.

"I'm Spanish and Italian. I don't specifically tell my parents about any guy I f--- on film."

Dillan says she's bisexual but she wants to marry a guy.

"I was going to college for dental hygiene for a while so I'll probably finish up that."

She says she goes to a hookah lounge on Ventura Blvd in Encino to smoke fruit-flavored tobacco.

The second scene of the day stars Saana of LADirectModels.com.

Day Two On Set Of Defiance Films' Penetration Nation

Lauren Phoenix Gene Ross, Lauren Phoenix Lauren Phoenix Lauren Phoenix Lauren Phoenix Lauren Phoenix Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Gene Ross, Lauren Phoenix Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Kelly Erikson Kelly Erikson Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor Rain Taylor in her new SUV Taylor Taylor Taylor Jenna Haze Jenna Haze Jenna Haze Jenna Haze Jenna Haze Jenna Haze Jenna Haze Jenna Haze Kelly Erikson Lauren Jenna Haze Bobbie Blair, Jenna Haze Bobbi, Jenna Haze Gene Ross reports

Everybody (that means you, Kelly Erikson) makes fun of my photography but I think those early photos (such as this and this) of Lauren Phoenix are gorgeous. I worked for years (after highschool) in landscaping. I love beautiful women next to beautiful flowers.

That doesn't make me gay.

Kelly is nice. She says I have a lousy camera. The truth is I have a Nikon D100, a good camera. I just have a bad cameraman.

Kelly says that is one of the ways I drive traffic to my website. I distort people's pictures. Then people can't stop looking. "That's Kelly Erikson? She's got Downs Syndrome."

Mike South writes: "Invest in a circular polarizing filter before you shot outdoors again...oh and figure out how to use it."

I've had my ISO setting on 400 since Erotica LA when Morbid Thoughts adjusted it. Maybe I should turn it down when I shoot outside. Next time.

Jenna Haze bounces in. She says she loves the house. That it's much better than JKP sets.

Jenna Haze says that since she quit Jill Kelly Productions, she's developed a stack an inch thick of requests to shoot. She only wants to work once or twice a week. "Do less for more money," she says.

She might do scenes with her cameraman boyfriend Matt.

Jenna bounces around. She says she's in a really good mood. She prescribes pot to those who are not as chipper.

I sit in the shade by the pool with Kelly, Gene Ross and a couple of pot smokers. Kelly doesn't like the smell of marijuana. (Neither do I.) She quit using five years ago.

Lauren Phoenix picks up the phone. "Hi mom."

Lauren doesn't go into detail about her work. Her mom hates it that Lauren does porn. Mom is coming down to visit Lauren Friday.

Lauren says that in the past five months she's helped about five girls go clean from drugs. The Mother Theresa of porn.

I can't believe this girl does porn. She's 26 and as fresh as a daisy.

"I wouldn't say that all drugs are bad," says Lauren.

"What's your position on drugs?" I ask.

"If God made it, it's ok," she says as she carefully prepares her bong with a cotton swab.

Did God make crystal meth?

"No."

Heroin?

"No."

But God made the good herb.

Lauren says she's been in a relationship for five years. She doesn't even charge the guy for sex. It must be true love.

"I was a music student," says Lauren. "I had to audition to go to my highschool [in Toronto]. I was a voice major at university for two years and f---ed it up and got kicked out. I partied too much. I flunked every class but one, which I got an A in.

"I lost my virginity at 15. It was only once and it was horrible. I didn't know if I had quite lost my flower. I'd never sucked dick or finger-f---ed or did anything.

"I was like, go get some condoms at the store. We're going to f--- right now. That was it.

"I was like, holy crap. I did that so bad, the motherf----- [who was her boyfriend then] didn't want to f--- me ever again after that. And I tried, to my dismay, I was turned down. I scared him off. He went out with my best friend. I was pretty crushed.

"He wouldn't even let me blow him. I was like, dude, I need practice. I knew what was up but he wasn't willing to comply.

"I waited a year before having sex again."

Duke: "When you were a kid, what did you want to do with your life?"

Lauren: "I wanted to be a marine biologist, opera singer, teacher, Peace Corp, travel."

Jenna Haze, who's posing for stills, says: "Wouldn't it be great if my head turned all the way around?"

Lauren: "Yep. I would praise God."

Duke: "What are your ambitions?"

Lauren: "To direct porn. To help people."

Lauren often recommends various natural remedies to whoever crosses her path.

Duke: "Does your boyfriend like that you are a porn star?"

Lauren: "Of course not. He doesn't like it. That's why I'm trying to do other things."

Phoenix won Female Performer of the Year at the AVN Awards in January 2005. "It's not something I would cry about or tell my parents about or thank them or God. I ask God's forgiveness every day."

Duke: "Has God ever spoken to you?"

Lauren: "No. I just look at the world and all the beauty and that's proof enough for me. I believe in nature gods and Buddha and stuff like that. I'm not a Christian freak."

There's A Stormy Brewing In Porn Valley

Mike South writes:

Back when she first signed with Wicked I emailed her asking for an interview, she granted it and I fired off a bunch of questions. When I got them back I read them and was, shall we say less than enthralled.

That she was intelligent was the first thing that hit me, she was well written and articulate, she was also excruciatingly boring. She deflected every question that was designed to probe her character, she was straight faced and bland.

I wrote her back suggesting that she put more personality into it, she never returned it and I never ran it.

Kendra Jade Parties With Mary Carey

Kendra IMs me: Went out with mary carey last night. It was crazy. The paparazzi went nuts. I like her. She's nuts. We went to this club Mood in Hollywood. It's a celebrity hang-out. We got into a car accident. You should go stand out there with the rest of the press and take pix.

Chlamydia Outbreak Source?

Ron writes: "Rumor has it the recent Chlamydia epidemic is once again originating from a certain bisexual make-up artist, well-known in the XXX industry to be offering all her bodily orifices to cast, crew and directors alike without discrimination on a near-daily basis. Isn't it ironic that the people who work behind the scenes are sometimes more promiscuous than the talent?"

How to Make Porn Worth Watching (A Free Idea to Every Reader)

From Sugarbank.com:

I was reading about a slew of 'big budget' porn movies being released this summer. Big budget in the world of porn, meaning anything over $100,000 and a four day shoot. Pretty funny given that Jennifer Aniston's hairstylist gets paid $7,000 a day (she told me) and takes a week to style a merkin.

When I speak to people about adult movies they normally complain that they're crap. They're right.  The acting's rubbish and the music (if it's there) sounds like the 'Demo' button on a 1988 Casio 'Home Organ'.

A big budget won't fix that. Acting quality's got nothing to do with the budget (have you seen '24'? Why does every man in that show whisper every line they're given?) and everything to do with the performers. In porn the performers in a 'big budget' production on Monday, are the same people who were getting down for almost-full 'Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf' customer loyalty cards the Friday before. The music in big-budget porn is, at best, originally composed synth noodling - that hasn't worked since The Equalizer.

Finally porn's too long. You watch it until the fish escape. That's it. At best a big-budget movie's going to be watched in sections and, in that instance, the plot's a hindrance not a help.

What's the solution? Remove the acting, fix the music and keep it short.

Porn Star Comic Books

Jamie Ralph Gardner writes:

I talked to Dan Fogel yesterday. He still plans on publishing porn star comic books. After Dan gets done with the Underground Comix Price Guide, he wants to do a Inari Vachs comic book. Dan said that Steve Crompton is letting him him and Inari Vachs be at his booth in order to return the favor of letting Steve be at his booth for free at conventions in the past. The Inari Vachs comic book is not being done with Carnal Comics unless Steve and Dan Fogel decide to collaborate together on it. Dan said that Steve and himself may collaborate together on projects in the future. Inari is at Steve's booth to promote Hippy Comix, not Carnal Comics. She will attract people to Steve's booth so I think her presence will be helpful to Steve. Dan says he has a business partner that will him finance projects. In addition to publishing comic books, Dan plans on making porn movies.

Jay Allan writes:

How long has Fogel/Hippy Comix talked about doing "porn star comics"? Four years at least. How long has Inari been waiting for something to happen with them? Over a year (didn't she appear at LAST year's Con?). Vivid Comix and Buttman Comix lasted a single issue each. Carnal has published over 100 "porn star comics" (counting variant covers) and are still going strong, with a new issue debuting at the Con.

I don't think Steve and Carnal have anything to worry about - - - Some people - and companies - do nothing but blow endless smoke, without ever actually DOING anything. Inari will likely tumble to this and try to get something going with Carnal (tho who cares if she does or doesn't? Plenty of bigger porn stars lined up fer a Carnal ish).

If I had a dollar for everyone who told me they plan on doing porn movies and comics, well, I'd be able to buy a buncha comics. Hart Fischer/Boneyard tried it (and failed). Good luck to anyone else who wants to give it a go. Carnal's been there, done that and will probably continue to do it long after the imposters have faded away (nobody's making a film about Personality Comics, Rock-It Comics, Marvel Rocks, Celebrity Comics, First Amendment Press, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc).

Chlamydia Epidemic Sweeps Industry

Defiance Films had a hard time finding talent for their shoot today because about half of the porn women in LA (that the producer is interested in employing) and a lot of the men are out because of such STDs as Chlamydia and Gonorrhea. It usually takes four-to-six days to return the performers to playing shape.

On The Set Of Defiance Films' Penetration Nation

L-R: Kelly Erikson, Lauren Phoenix, Nichole, Nikki Nieveve Kelly, Lauren, Nichole, Nikki Kelly, Lauren, Nichole, Nikki Kelly Erikson Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Anthony Simone Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Dillan Lauren Dillan Lauren Dillan Lauren Dillan Dillan Dillan Tony T Dillan Dillan Dillan Dillan Dillan Kelly Kelly Kelly Dillan

I arrive at 9:50am. I hear voices but can't see anyone.

Finally, I find the grip. He says the bosses are outside.

There are three guys, one in his thirties and two in their twenties. I go up to them. The head guy raises his hand and says, "Give me a minute."

Rebuffed, I wander to the side of the house and see Lauren Phoenix locked in an intense conversation with the make-up artist.

I hear voices upstairs and go up there and wander the hallways. There's a real family living and working up there. I don't belong.

A little after 10am, a familiar face arrives -- Kelly Erikson.

It turns out that Lauren's test is a day old and she has to leave. She'll return Thursday.

Kelly calls Derek at LADirectModels for talent. Is Sophie Dee available? Does she do DP. No, I don't want [another name].

Four of the five girls Defiance wanted have chlamydia or the clap.

Nikki Nieveve is managed by Lauren Phoenix. Nikki tells me she's done 13 scenes, most of them anal.

Defiance must have a big investor behind it because the catering is superb. I had six chocolate chip cookies today, three granola bars, two almond-chocolates and five bottles of water. And I left before lunch.

XXX writes: "I'll tell Keith O'Connor to prepare an organic veggie entree next time for you."

That's the spirit. I like Mexican food with lots of cheese, guacamole, beans (without lard), sour cream, salad and no meat.

I was on-set for four hours but I didn't get to see Kelly Erikson do any directing. Maybe tomorrow.

I'm sure Steven Spielberg's first time wasn't all wine and roses either.

A tiny brown dog wanders around the house. She might be pressed into service if we can't find some human talent.

I ask Kelly to pose by a black lighting pole. She grips it and smiles.

When she walks away, her hands and arms are covered in a black smudge.

I ask Kelly what her directing vision is. "To get started and film the movie," she replies.

The producers call AIM and put the rush on to get a test result back (on Katsumi?).

An assistant says: "Anthony Hardwood will be available in the evening."

Cameraman: "Don't say evening. Once I pick up the camera, you're going to see sparks fly."

I meet male talent Tony T. He started in porn at age 18 in New York (year 2000).

Male talent Sergio (from Peru) refuses me permission to take his picture. He's not feeling attractive.

While I'm on set, there's a guy waiting four hours for Defiance partner Keith O'Connor to show up. Keith doesn't arrive.

Defiance starts shooting their scenes at 2pm and finishes three of them by 7pm.

Defiance Films Sponsors Porn Star Karaoke

Wankus Ava Ramone Ava pic Ava Ava Ava Kelly Erikson Kelly Erikson Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Erikson, Ric Williams Kelly, Ric Kelly, Ric Kelly, Ric Sophie Dee Sophie Dee Sophie Dee, bouncer Sophie Sophie Sophie Wankus, Kelly Wankus, Kelly Wankus, Kelly Defiance Films Gang - Chad, Anthony Simone, Norman Bentley Defiance Films guys Defiance Films gang Defiance Films - Chad, Tony, Norman, Asher Anthony Simone and his girlfriend Kelly Erikson Anthony, Kelly Anthony, Kelly Anthony, Kelly Tia Brodie Tia Tia, Rusty Nails Tia, Rusty Nails Sophie, Tia Sophie, Tia Sophie, Tia Sophie, Tia Ava Ramone L-R: Felicia Fox, Mike Moz, Tim Case, Stormy Felicia, Stormy Kristen Felicia, Wankus Robyn, Justin Sophie Dee, Pamela Peaks Sophie, Pamela Sophie, Pamela Flower Gram, Rusty, Tia Rusty, Tia Erin Moore L-R: Lexi Lamour, Felicia Fox, Ethan Cage, Wankus Tim Case, Lexi, Felicia, Ethan Lexi, Felicia Lexi, Felicia Tim, Lexi Stormy Stormy Wankus, Stormy Wankus, Stormy Wankus, Stormy Wankus, Stormy Ric Williams, Erika Kole Genesis Skye, Erin Moore Erin Moore Genesis, Erin Wankus Mike Moz, Stormy Angel Cassidy, Norman Bentley Angel Cassidey Angel, Norman Angel, Norman Angel, Norman Angel Angel, Norman Angel, Norman Kelly Erikson Kelly Erikson Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Genesis Skye

I arrive at 9:15pm.

Robyn keeps grabbing my butt. She shouldn't be doing that. I have a girlfriend.

I interview Norman Bentley (about 36yo) of Defiance Films outside of Sardos Bar.

Duke: "How did you get into Adult?"

Norman: "I used to work mainstream. I used to work long hours. I used to work for a bunch of dickheads. I used to work for HBO. I line-produced for a lot of live shows out of Vegas. I got offered a job on a Penthouse set and took that over.

"I discovered [Microsoft] Frontpage [a WYSIWYG website building software]. I got married [in 1998]. I realized that putting in the hours of Hollywood wouldn't make my marriage work.

"I did [video encoding] for Playboy and Danni.com.

"I started Matrix Content in 1999. I'm the only owner left."

Duke: "How are you going to find a niche with Defiance Films?"

Norman: "Higher quality, just like I did with Matrix. We're shooting everything in HD."

Duke: "Out of everything you've done in the Adult industry, what have you found to be the most meaningful?"

Norman is taken aback. "Whoa. Meaningful?"

He laughs. He thinks. He pauses. "Meaningful? You've stumped me there."

He laughs again. "The income is nice."

I ask if the blonde woman standing next to us, Jeanette, is Norm's girlfriend.

"I wouldn't say girlfriend. The ink isn't dry on my divorce yet.

"[Jeannette's] mad at me because I spilled sauce on her linen pants."

Norman says he's never had sex with a porn star. "I don't ---- where I eat. I've gotten close in a drunken moment but I've never done the deed."

Duke: "What's your stance on drugs?"

Norm: "It's up to the individual. Drugs affect everyone differently. As long as you use them responsibly, they should be enjoyed like anything else in life."

I next interview Norman's business partner at Defiance Films, Anthony Simone. He got into porn 30-months ago through Kenny Guarino and Metro. "Before Metro, I was a tax collector in Palm Beach County."

Tony speaks with a strong Rhode Island accent.

His girlfriend Kelly Erikson stands outside with us along with former Metro publicist Janie L.

Kelly says she hasn't been paid by Metro in at least two months. She will direct her first film (for Defiance) Wednesday.

"I've been performing for three years and am bored with it. [That's because she's only done anal once.] I have to find something to pique my interest."

Tony: "We have a lot of girls who come in wanting to direct. She came in with some good ideas that piqued our interest."

In an industry full of deadbeats, Metro, for more than a decade, has been the king of not paying people.

When someone leaves Kenny Guarino's employment, he tends to take it personally.

Kelly Erikson's been feature-dancing with Shy Love. Tony's too proud to pick up the dollar bills that shower down upon their stage (though he will carry her suitcases of costumes).

I ask Kelly: "Why did you go to Tony with your ideas?"

Kelly: "I don't trust anybody anymore."

Duke: "Why do you trust Tony?"

Kelly: "That's a good question. I need to figure that one out."

Tony: "You talk to anybody in the business. Everybody trusts me. I shoot straight from the hip. Everybody who comes to work for us has a great time. They get paid that week."

Anthony handles sales and marketing for Defiance. Keith and Norman run production.

Norm nudges eager porn stars in his cousin Asher's direction. The 20-year old Defiance employee has been with five.

Kelly Erikson is wearing a brunette wig. She says it brings out another personality. Tony calls her "Sybil."

Duke to Kelly: "How did you get into the Adult industry?"

Kelly: "I was doing live internet masturbation shows for iFriends. I met up with Brittany O'Connell. Three years ago, she brought me to Jim South at World Modeling."

Kelly started masturbating on cams at age 18. "I was the cashier manager at a Walmart [during highschool]. I answered an ad in the newspaper. I just needed something that gave me more money.

"[Cam-work] was unbelievable money."

Duke: "What were you like in highschool?"

Kelly: "I was shy, quiet, reserved. I was not a cheerleader. I was studious. Into school. My best subject was math.

"I've always good with money."

Duke: "When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Kelly: "A veterinarian. Isn't that what all porn people wanted to be?"

It seems like about a quarter of porn girls tell me they wanted to be a vet.

Kelly never went to college. Instead she went straight into internet masturbating. "I had a lot of friends who went to college and they weren't making any more money than I could've.

"I was expected to become the person who made it through college and did well in life. But I skipped college and did well anyways."

Kelly lost her virginity at 16. A year or two later, she began fantasizing about becoming a nude model. Her older brother left magazines such as Playboy around the house.

"The first time magazine I masturbated to was Kathy Ireland on the cover of the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated."

Duke: "What does your brother say now that you are in porn?"

Kelly: "He loves it. He wants me to introduce him to everybody. I'm trying to keep him away from it. I think he'd go crazy."

Kelly's made about 30 movies. She got her breast implants at 19, moving from a 34A to a 34F.

Duke: "Did that change how men in particular reacted to you?"

Kelly: "Oh yes. Men don't look in my eyes anymore. And women just hate me. It's great.

"I was awkward growing up. I was flat-chested. I was heavy. I had glasses.

"Once I lost the weight and got the implants, I was going to show the world. I wasn't going to keep it hidden."

Duke: "What do you love and hate about working in the porn industry?"

Kelly: "I love doing something different every day, or somebody different. What I don't like is the same thing. It's hard doing something different every day."

Duke: "What's it like having relationships while you're in the industry?"

Kelly: "Hard. When I was performing, I didn't have relationships."

Duke: "Does Tony cry when you bring up the idea of having sex on camera?"

Kelly: "No. He may turn his head the other way."

Duke: "Does he say he's getting 30% of your fee?"

Kelly: "No."

Duke: "What are the joys and sorrows of dating while you're in the industry?"

Kelly: "People are never dating who you are. They're always dating the porn star. They expect you to be the porn star. They want to flaunt you. They want a whore outside of the bedroom too."

Duke: "Are you listening to this, Tony?"

Kelly: "He's heard all this.

"One day I'm going to be married with a house with a white picket fence and a dog in the backyard."

Duke: "What do you do with your spare time?"

Kelly: "Not much. I like to sleep a lot. Go to the gym a lot. Shop a lot."

Duke: "Do you have a hundred pairs of shoes?"

Kelly: "At least."

Kelly: "You can trust Madison [the name she gives to her personality with the brown wig]. Kelly's the bitch."

Publicist Janie L. is asked what advice she gives her clients before they speak to me. "Oh, just tell him everything," she says. "Pour your heart out."

It sounds like Genesis Skye is back with Brett Rockman.

Inside in the VIP section, I see Angel Cassidey telling Norman Bentley the story of her life. Angel says she needs three things: An assistant, an accountant and a lawyer. Norm tells her he will help her out.

"Angel's a nice girl," I hear. "Troubled but nice."

I talk about 2257 to the English broads Tia Brodie (from Kent, England), who's done just one porn scene, and Sophie Dee. Sophie says, "Who cares?"

Duke: "I'll treat you like flowers."

Tia: "Yeah, right. You're a reporter. I've been around."

Duke: "Sophie, when you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Sophie: "A porn star."

Duke: "How did that enter your innocent little mind?"

Sophie: "My dad had videos in his room. Sorry dad. He knows I do porn.

"My stepmother was a [stripper]. My stepsister does porn in England. Lindsay Dawn McKenzie with 34HHH breasts.

"My family is complicated. We're all sort of married and divorced and married."

I ask Tia: "What did your family expect from you?"

Tia: "To be able to look after myself and pay my bills, which I am doing."

Sophie lost her virginity at 16 and Tia at 19. "It was in the back of my car outside of school (Year 13)," says Tia. "I didn't know he had a girlfriend."

Sophie has a thing for black guys like Justin Slayer while Tia had only one fleeting experience ("he stuck it in for about five seconds").

Sophie says she's been with about 130 men in her life and Tia about 35. They sex is similar in Britian and America.

Sophie: "You know what I like about America and this porn thing? They take it so seriously."

Tia: "In England, it's more taboo. If you're a porn star, you're a slut.

"My family's fine [with her doing porn]. They don't know that I'm doing blowjob movies. I told them I was just doing girl-girl."

I ask Sophie: "How would your family react if you brought home a big dark black man named Duane?"

Sophie: "I think they'd disown me.

"I only started doing black guys when I started doing porn."

Tia: "I hate that there's not enough girl-girl work."

Duke: "Do you think Britain should join the European Union?"

Tia: "No. I think we should keep the Pound, not the Euro."

Sophie: "I don't know too much about that."

Tia: "She only knows about black men. I've adopted her. I look after her. I wash up for her. I mother her."

Tia works as a porn agent in England and Amsterdam. "I want to be the biggest madam in England."

Tia complains that men she dates don't treat her with sufficient respect (because she's a stripper and porn star).

Sophie: "White guys treat me like s---. They gag me on their cocks. Black guys seem to have more respect."

Sophie says relationships are difficult for her. She likes to sleep around.

Duke to Tia: "Has working in the sex industry affected your view of men?"

Tia: "Yes. I've seen how pathetic they really are. And that was just from the lap dancing."

Sophie: "I don't want a boyfriend. I can't be faithful."

Duke: "You don't think you can be monogamous?"

Sophie: "What does that mean?"

Duke: "What do you think about drugs?"

Sophie won't comment. Tia doesn't do them.

Tia says professional sex work has dulled her private sex life.

Erin Moore, Bret Rockman, Genesis Skye, Kris Slater, Billy Tyler and company celebrated July Fourth together.

Erin's sore. She did five black guys two days ago.

Duke: "What would happen if you brought one of those black guys home to your parents and said to them he was your fiance?"

Erin (from Minnesota): "They'd shoot him."

Norman, Chad and Asher get up and sing karaoke. It was bad, says Kelly Erikson.

Travis writes: "As for Matrix Content -- gee, wasn't it internet content syndicators like them peddling the same scene for a couple of hundred bucks or less to a zillion websites that not only overflooded the web market with repetitious content but -- & don't know that Matrix was like this, but you might ask -- didn't bother to include proper 2257 paperwork with their sales so that so many of their ignorant carpetbagging customers now find themselves up s---'s creek because -- duh -- it turns out 2257 applies to the internet as well as print and vhs/dvd distribution?"

Norman Bentley responds: "First Matrix produces more content than most studios. My clients buy what they like and use it. Maybe because it's just so dam good! That would make perfect sence why Matrix dominates the internet and Defiance will soon be a major force in the vhs/dvd market! What Travis has failed to do before his attack on my company is check the facts. We have created a 2257 system and all my clients are well covered for 2257. Jealousy is so ugly!"

Broads Casting Live.com

I talk by phone Wednesday afternoon with 23-year old graphic designer and webmaster Jeff Lombardo.

"I came out to Erotica LA [in 2004 from New York]. I've always wanted to move out here and after networking over the weekend, I wanted to make the move happen even quicker. Tim Connelly told me that Hustler was hiring when I got back to New York so I applied. If I'm going to work a 9-5 it has to be for the top dog. I had some baggage behind me and I wasn't sure what the outcome would be - but I guess they wanted me bad enough because my baggage didn't seem to be a problem. I started working there the following week [as a digital artist in the graphics department] in August.

"I'm now working in freelance graphic / web design for such people as Metro, Penthouse, Suze.net, and Clive McLean.com. I've been setting up webmaster affiliate programs. I started my own webmaster affiliate program - Broadscastinglive.com [Jeff bought the domain 18-months ago] is the first [site] I launched. It's a live cam site with about 1,500 men and women worldwide. It's not a membership site. It's pay-per-minute."

Duke: "How does 2257 affect you?"

Jeff: "As I'm not the one providing the feed, they handle that. They have all the IDs and forms and all that.

"The adult industry for what I do is saturated. Anyone who has a computer [and some minimal competence] feels like they can do graphic design, but they have no idea what it entails. They don't know the rules about design. But since it is so easy to get a copy of Photoshop, anyone is going undercut another designer. Some people are getting box covers for $1,200. I know another guy who is getting boxes for $300. You have reputable companies that have been around a long time and then you have an overnight designer who's putting a box together for practically nothing. That cuts out the good designers in the industry.

"This isn't the primary industry I work in."

Last night I got this email from Jeff: "I'm an ambitious, motivated, entrepreneur that just happens to be a real talented graphic and web designer. I do work in the music, club, adult, and now mainstream level. With clients and past employers such as Hustler, Penthouse, Metro, Suze.net, Clive McLean, Def Jam Records, Jive Records, Spike TV, NBC, and so on - I've paid my dues."

Jeff: "It's wide-open for designers. People can stop in and take over."

Duke: "Have you dated any porn stars?"

'Jeff: "No. Have I had my fair share of experiences with them? Of course."

Duke: "How would you compare them with regular girls in the sack?"

Jeff: "Porn stars have no rules. If you can think it, you can do it. While regular girls, some have different boundaries... I like them both for different reasons."

Duke: "How has it affected you socially to work in adult entertainment?"

Jeff: "I've been in a lot worse situations. I've proved myself along the way that I've made good decisions to get where I am now. People don't question me anymore.

"As far as socially with women, you always have a persona or stereotype that people make up about you. Overall, it hasn't hurt me. I just tell people how it is. I'm not in front of the camera. I'm behind the scenes."

Duke: "How do you like LA?"

Jeff: "Moving to the Valley from Brooklyn, I wasn't used to having coyotes in my backyard at 12 o'clock at night. Now I moved to Hollywood which is more my style. I need to be around the action. Overall, I think it is a land of make-believe no matter which way you turn. However, for my age, it's the place to be. It's where the action is. I take what I learned in New York, street-smarts and a fast-paced lifestyle, and you come out here and combine it with this and it's the best of both worlds."

August 2005 Penthouse Mag

Holly Randall writes on XPT:

Oh. My. God. Has anyone seen the newest Penthouse issue? The centerfold is blah (and that's a NICE way to put it), and the printing is absolute crap. In fact, every layout in this issue is horrible! The only girl in there worth looking twice at is Crystal Klein, who is featured in a short and lame-ass girl/girl. The softcore angle on this mag just ain't workin-- either they're munching box or they're not! What, are they trying to do a really bad version of Playboy? Just when I thought the magazine couldn't get any worse, it does. Bob may have been a bit nuts, but at least he could put out a decent magazine. This is so amatuer looking it blows my mind. Notice the sudden absence of photo credit, too. They must be using some real winners to shoot these sets. Ugh!

Though I admit I use the internet to check out porn, but I still like holding a tangible photograph in my hands. Plus the girls really like being a centerfold in Penthouse, and it bugs me that I don't shoot for them anymore! And the fact that they are using whatever new photographers they hired instead pisses me off. All over internet rights, too.

Rob Spallone's Divorce Is Final

He's throwing a party.