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Wednesday, February 9, 2005

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How To Collect Semen From A Stallion

Required reading for porn starlets?

Once the stallion is washed, and an erection achieved, a plastic collection bag is secured around the penis by tape (note, don't secure the tape directly to the penis, and don't have the tape so tight as to interrupt circulation - remember the penis will become engorged just prior to and during ejaculation), and hot compresses are applied initially to the glans of the penis, and once "thrusting" is seen, the upper portion of the shaft. The compresses we have used were of the thin (half-inch) man-made dishwashing "sponges" that are about 8 inches by 10 inches. These are submersed in hot water (55 degrees Celsius), and squeezed out immediately before application. The first is held in the "flat" of the left hand, with the flat of the hand being applied against the end of the glans of the penis. The stallion should then drop his hindquarters slightly, and start a thrusting motion against your hand. Allow the hand to move with the thrusting, and at the same time use the other (right) hand to form a "U" of the thumb and index finger, with the other compress inside the "U", and gently apply pressure with this hand on each side of the penis shaft at the upper end. This pressure simulates the pressure applied naturally by the labia, whereas the left hand is simulating the pressure applied when pushing against the cranial portion of the vagina/cervix.

Desperately Seeking Seka

Chris Hyde writes:

This final portion of the documentary is what really makes it a valuable venture, for hearing Seka give her perspective on a number of topics is both interesting and historically significant. My personal favorite moment is when she reveals that she turned down a role in a particular mainstream film because they wouldn't pay her enough for a cameo - and then goes on to sneer at some adult industry figures for whoring themselves out because they wanted to be in a mainstream movie so badly. (Is there a truer example of the essence of exploitation than adult celebrities performing their act on the cheap in a Hollywood movie simply because they wanted to be in a "real" film? I think not.)

While the documentary itself is a solid work on the career of one of the greatest erotic film stars of all time, it's the extra material included on the DVD that really fleshes out its subject. An entertaining commentary track, some excerpted scenes, a few outtakes, a photo gallery, a filmography, many production notes and publicity materials are all contained on the disk to complete the package. Also of note are tons of deleted and extended interviews, and though some are with lesser figures the extra information garnered from the likes of Jane Hamilton and Seka herself from these question and answer sessions is at times completely priceless.

Goddess Separates Old Porn From New

Goddess writes on her blog:

I was reading AVN's Blog and they were talking about NYU Professor of Women's Studies Chyng Sun's essay, Revisiting the Porn Debate. Then Nina Hartley immediately went on to refute everything Professor Sun said. I've never felt this way before, but I honestly feel there has been a line drawn in the porn industry from within. That line separates the porn that is good clean sexy fun--or what I refer to as the "old porn"---from the new porn that leaves you with the impression that women are garbage that you can f--- and toss away. How could you possibly compare, for instance, "Wicked Sensations" to a Kahn Tusion video? In Wicked Sensations, John Leslie's biggest concern was getting some heat back into his dull sex life.

In "old porn" choking happened when you ate too quickly. I don't feel this is a matter of "were the women degraded while filming?". If they're willing to be paid to do that, so be it. I can't delve into their psyches and try to figure out why they consent to do what they do. That's their job. I'm more concerned with the end product, and with the impression it gives men about women and how to treat them.

Nina makes it seem as if outrageous videos are such a small part of the industry. Really? Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like pushing the envelope has been fueling the industry for the last five or six years. And if it isn't, it doesn't much matter because that's the part of the industry that's getting all the media attention. To my knowledge, Nina has never even acted in the types of videos she's now defending, so does she have an accurate view of things? She says in her piece, "It's not all Bang Bus..." which would imply there's a difference, huh? But then she never goes on to address that issue.

What about Bang Bus? How does she feel about the "new" porn? Would she herself agree to be choked, for instance? You know, if it was integral to the plot. Actually I shouldn't even ask that question because I can almost guess what Nina would say. She'd give the standard rhetoric. "While I personally would not like to be choked I will defend the rights of others who do enjoy it" because that's what people ALWAYS say when they know they have to defend ALL the idiots who are in the same business they are, otherwise, no one would be in business. I admire more than anything the people IN the business who are against these sorts of vids and who speak out about it. And I didn't hear any of that in Nina's column.

Personally, I just don't feel comfortable defending porn as a whole anymore. I always find myself separating the old from the new, and I'm more than happy to stick with the old, thank you.

Jayme Waxman, Sex Educator

My name is Jayme Waxman. I'm 30. I feel like I just became a woman. I'm doing pretty much everything I want to do. I write, read, talk to people about sex and do yoga. I'm a sex advice columnist for Playgirl, my column is sex.ed, I write "Hot Wax" for Steppin' Out Magazine. I am also a sex educator at Toys in Babeland, a freelance producer and a pornographer. I got started in the whole sex racquet when I worked at eyada.com, an internet radio station. I like to say I didn't choose sex, it was sex that chose me.

I've been in New York pretty much my whole life, I was born in Manhasset, Lawn Guyland and grew up in Plainview. I currently live in Lower East Chinatown. I'm openly dating.

Porn Therapy

Ivor Biggun writes on ADT:

Doubtless most ADT regulars are already aware of the beneficial role porn plays for women in our society, but just to emphasise this point, I'd like to explore the role it plays in helping victims of childhood sexual abuse to come to terms with their experiences by expressing themselves in an open, non-judgemental environment.

Here are two examples: In Diabolic's "Un-natural Sex #10", interviewed by Chico Wang, Malaysia (Jayna Oso) explained how her stepfather "played" with her aged 12, and added that she liked it. Having offloaded this burden, she went on to take on two guys, putting in a stellar performance including repeated ass-to-mouth and double anal.

In Red Light District's "Breakin' 'Em In #2", 18 year old Paris explained to Vince Voyeur that she was first sodomised at the age of 12 by a 27 year old man. She also appeared to view it as a positive experience. After getting this off her chest, she went on to put in a remarkable performance, taking on three men with lots of DP and ATM.

I would just like to commend the directors for their brave decisions to include these potentially controversial moments of candour in the final cuts of the movies. Too often porn is unfairly stereotyped as a parasitic industry that takes advantage of abused and emotionally disturbed women. Films such as these can be held up as examples to demonstrate that doing porn can actually be a therapeutic, rather than exploitative experience for the performer.

I'm sure many sexual abuse survivors have found it helpful to see how these women triumphed over such adversity and came out the other side stronger. Their courage serves as a beacon of hope and an example to show others how doing porn could help them too. Witnessing these moments of catharsis makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. Does anyone have any other examples?

SCandMS writes:

That's interesting because I see these events as the unfortunate consequences of sexual abuse. Anyone more knowledgeable about the subject correct me if I am wrong as I am receptive to learning but it seems like there is a disproportionate amount of females who have been sexually abused in pornography compared to other professions. My completely uneducated guess is that the emotional and loving aspects of sex have been taken away from these girls so they no longer have any qualms about sucking random cock or f---ing multiple men who are basically strangers. I'm not sure double anal is exactly what the doctor would order when it comes to medicating oneself to alleviate the emotional disturbance that sexual abuse produces. Drugs, sex, shopping, and alcohol are all ways people try to self-medicate and the consequences are usually disasterous. I'm not exactly sure how these women have triumpehed over such adversity by sucking dick and getting cum in their faces. You must remember these women are usually 18-21 years old and very immature psychologically. Sometimes I take for granted the fact that they are basically high school seniors/college freshman. I also do believe that SOME companies do take advantage of these young girls and treat them like pieces of meat.

Sheldon wrote: "And if somenone says that on camera, you just assume that it's true? Like, the director wouldn't have the performers utter dialogue that represents fiction for the purposes of the sexual fantasy s/he is filming?"

Ivor replies:

You raise an interesting point. It didn't occur to me that this material might be aimed at pedophiles that celebrate the continued abuse of these girls. Now that you mention it, I am disturbed.

OK, some people seem to have misinterpreted my original post as a joke. I don't see where this came from, but regardless, you do raise some question worth answering. I must confess, I had not considered the humor angle.

My exposure to pornography thus far has has been as a viewer and has led me to believe it is a liberating experience, punching through the predefined barriers of morality that the less enlightened seek to impose upon us. I suppose someone with a cynical viewpoint might think that girls end up doing porn for less enlightened reasons, but I don't see it myself.

The "Please don't get cosmetic surgery" thread

Ivor Biggun writes on ADT:

In light of recent sad news, I think those of us who appreciate fresh natural girls with perky little/medium sized natural titties and sweet looking natural faces should state our objection to them turning themselves into generic pnuematic porn bimbos by plastic surgery.

Of course it's up to the girl what they choose to do, but maybe if they realise that they will lose more fans than they gain, then they might reconsider. I'm not going to name any names myself, but if anyone has any favourite natural girls in mind, then it can't hurt to tell them they are perfect as they are.

Note: My aim in starting this thread is to celebrate natural beauty and hopefully help some girls feel better about their natural assets, NOT to make any girls who have already made the mistake of going under the knife feel bad... So to spare feelings, I ask people to please refrain from naming any girls who they think have ruined themselves - even though I could list off dozens myself.

Brian Gross Confesses

Scott Fayner writes on l-keford.com:

Was rapping with public relations guru Brian Gross @ On The Rox last night, found ourselves poking fun at short people and how it must truly blow to be one of them.

"Try being fired by a short person," he told me.

"You were fired by a short person?" I asked. "That must have sucked."

"Don't tell anyone," he confided in me, "but I was fired twice by short people."

"I've never been fired, ever!" I shot back. "How did you go on living after being fired by two short people?"

"Think that's bad," he whispered. "One was from a short woman."

Is he talking about Steve or Marci Hirsch? Brian was the publicist at Vivid until 2000. He was brought in by his friend David Schlesinger in 1999 when David took over Vivid's Internet operation.

Teagan Presley Interview

From The-Blue-Pages.com:

The oldest sibling in a family of 7, Teagan is a trained dancer, having performed with the Joffrey Ballet and accepted into the American Ballet Theater. She is also a gymnast, athlete and self-professed computer geek. With so many interests, it's no wonder that her virginity remained intact until she was 17.

That all changed in a hurry when she made the decision to combine her love of dancing and sex. After a short-lived career in local strip clubs, Teagan performed in her first adult video in January 2004 and quickly went on to make 40 movies in 8 months!

I caught up with her on the first day of the Adult Expo show at the Digital Playground booth. Dressed casually to show off her newly enhanced breasts (thankfully only a nicely proportioned set of B-cups), she was noticeably more shy and reserved than either Jesse or Devon had been.

Chris writes: "These sorts of claims annoy me. American Ballet Theater is the best company in the WORLD. Maybe she took a class there, but she was not "accepted"."

Thoughts On Joe Diamond's Latest Stunt

David Spenser, an editor from Paul Raymond Publications in England, writes:

I was browsing the site yesterday and saw the piece on Joe Diamond and his failed attempts to get into Jennifer Steele's panties without putting his hand in his wallet. My, how I laughed, since he glommed the idea from MensWorld, one of the two titles I edit here in London for Paul Raymond Publications (we publish Club International, Club and Club Confidential over there).

Joe saw our regular feature, "Test Bed", and clearly decided that he'd "borrow" the idea himself. Nice one. They do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, don't they? At least he kind of admitted to it.

I feel I should point out that we pay the girls for appearing in "Test Bed" in MensWorld, and we thought it was a damned fine idea to have one person actually test drive a porn star, and rate them on their various skills. So it's legit, real and put together for me by Marc Medoff at Adult Press Services. We choose the girls together and he handles the, uh, hard work.

So if any girls are approached by Marc Medoff regarding a "Test Bed" feature, it's on the up and up, they'll get paid, and their blow-by-blow review will appear in the magazine.

To Build A Fire

Day had broken smoggy and gray, when the man turned aside off the 101 and climbed Van Nuys Blvd to World Modeling, where a dim and oft-travelled stairway led upwards through a line of seedy male talent, the fat spruce porno timberland. It was a steep climb, and he paused for breath at the top, excusing the act to himself by looking at his watch. It was one o'clock. There was no sun nor hint of sun. There seemed an intangible pall over the face of things, a subtle moral gloom that made the day dark.

He was here for his first talent call. He wanted to break into porn and he hoped to do his first scene.

The man flung a look back along the way he had come. His life lay hidden under three feet of female ice. On top of this ice were as many feet of the snow of female indifference. His rage was pure white. North and south it was unbroken white, save for a dark hair-line that curved and twisted from around the spruce-covered island to the south, and that curved and twisted away into the north, where it disappeared behind another spruce-covered island. This dark hair-line was the trail -- the main trail -- that led him to the womb to which he wished to return.

He was a newcomer in the land, a chechaquo, but this was not his first winter of the soul. The trouble with him was that he was without imagination. He was quick and alert in the things of life, but only in the things, and not in the significances. He thought there were two laws that ran the world -- moral and physical -- but he didn't realize they intertwined. He thought porn was the ideal way to get a woman but he didn't realize he risked his eternal salvation for a few fleeting minutes of worldly pleasure.

And he could only get those pleasures by lighting a fire in his groin when the camera turned on.

He plunged in among the big spruce trees. The trail was faint. But he eventually found his way to the main man -- Jim South Sr..

"Drop trow and get it hard now!" snarled Jim.

The man unbuttoned his jacket and shirt and struggled to draw forth his implement. The action consumed no more than a quarter of a minute, yet in that brief moment the numbness laid hold of his fingers. He had so much adrenalin pumping in his system that the blood had drained from his extremities. He struck his fingers repeatedly against his leg but they would not come to life.

"Here," said Envy, taking pity on the man. "Let me suck on them."

She sucked on his fingers for a minute and they came to life.

He opened up his trousers. Jim steadied his camera. But the man could produce no wood.

He chuckled at his foolishness, and as he chuckled he noted the numbness creeping through his hands up his arms.

There was no mistake about it, it was cold. He strode up and down, stamping his feet and threshing his arms, until reassured by the returning warmth. Then he got out his twig and started whacking it on Jim's desk.

Sr.'s eyebrows rose but he was a compassionate man and he didn't want to deny the youngster his chance at immortality.

But before the newcomer could rise to the occasion, it happened. It was his own fault or, rather, his mistake. He should not have whacked his twig on Jim's desk so vigorously. He should have built it in the open. Now the desk under which he had done this carried a weight of porn on its shelves. No wind had blown for weeks, and each shelf was fully freighted with pictures, dildos and chains. Each time he had smacked the desk he had communicated a slight agitation to the office -- an imperceptible agitation, so far as he was concerned, but an agitation sufficient to bring about the disaster. High up in the cabinet above Jim's desk one shelf capsized its load of DVDs. This fell on the shelves beneath, capsizing them. This process continued, spreading out and involving the whole cabinet. It grew like an avalanche, and it descended without warning upon the man and the fire in his loins, and the fire was blotted out! Where it had burned was a mantle of magazines, tapes and DVDs. And underneath the mess was a broken man who'd lost both his earthly and heavenly salvation.

The Call Of The Porno Wild

Buck the Dog lived at a big house in the sun-kissed San Fernando Valley. Holly the Porn Star's place it was called. It stood back from the road, half-hidden among the trees, through which glimpses could be caught of the wide cool veranda that ran around its four sides. The house was approached by graveled driveways which wound about through wide-spreading lawns and under the interlacing boughs of tall poplars. At the rear things were on even a more spacious scale than at the front. There were great stables, where a dozen grooms and boys held forth, rows of vine-clad servants' cottages, an endless and orderly array of outhouses, long grape arbors, green pastures, orchards, and berry patches. Then there was the pumping plant for the artesian well, and the big cement tank where Holly and the Platinum X boys took their morning plunge and kept cool in the hot afternoon.

Red Light District shot a lot of porn here, but the home was most famous for the loveable antics between Buck and Holly.

Holly the Porn Star was the ideal master for Buck the Dog. Other women saw to the welfare of their dogs from a sense of duty and business expediency; she saw to the welfare of Buck out of her love. Buck never forgot a kindly greeting or a cheering word, and to sit down for a long talk with the porners --"gas" he called it--was as much his delight as theirs. Holly had a way of taking Buck's head roughly between her hands, and resting her own head upon Buck's, of shaking him back and forth, the while calling him ill names that to Buck were love names. Buck knew no greater joy than that rough embrace and the sound of murmured oaths, and at each jerk back and forth it seemed that his heart would be shaken out of his body, so great was its ecstasy. And when, released, he sprang to his feet, his mouth laughing, his eyes eloquent, his throat vibrant with unuttered sound, and in that fashion remained without movement, Holly would reverently exclaim, "God! you can all but speak!"

One day at the Lamplighter in Chatsworth, various porn stars sat around boasting about the tricks they could do with their dogs.

"Pooh! Pooh!" said Holly. "Buck can [do X.] I bet you a thousand pounds."

"And break it out, and walk off with it for a hundred yards?" demanded Sandy the Contract Girl.

"And break it out, and walk off with it for a hundred yards," Holly said cooly.

"Well," Sandy said, slowly and deliberately, so that all could hear, "I've got a thousand dollars that says he can't. And there it is." So saying, she slammed a sack of gold dust of the size of a bologna sausage down upon the bar.

The Lamplighter emptied its occupants into the street to see the test. The tables were deserted, and the waiters came forth to see the outcome of the wager and to lay odds. Several hundred men, furred and mittened, banked around the hos within easy distance. Traffic came to a halt on De Soto Avenue. Men offered odds of two to one that Buck could not do it. A quibble arose concerning the phrase "break out." Afterwards the odds went up to three to one against Buck. Read On...

Chris writes: "To Build A Fire? Call Of The Wild? Do many people get your usage of Jack London titles? While I'm not a huge fan of his work, I enjoy the references, but that's me. Could we have some Hemingway or Kerouac tomorrow? Thanks."

Ginger Jolie Interview

Ginger Jolie, 23, was Penthouse magazine's Miss September 2004.

We chat by phone Tuesday afternoon, February 8, 2005.

Luke: "When you were a little kid [Ginger spent her first 21 years in Texas], what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Ginger sighs. "Hard question. Every little girl wants to be a model or something glamorous. I had mixed feelings. I wanted to be a model and I wanted to be a pilot and I wanted to be a doctor. Everything."

Luke: "What did your family and friends expect from you?"

Ginger: "They expected me to do something that was really big, like a doctor. I thought I was really smart and I went to UT (University of Texas) for pre-med (bio-chem major) and then I decided that wasn't what I wanted to do with my life.

"I spent one year at junior college and then two years at university."

Luke: "How much chemistry did you take?"

Ginger: "A lot. Enough to make me not want to do it anymore.

"[Medicine] was something my parents wanted me to do but I didn't know what I wanted. So I took a break and now I'm going back to school fulltime [over the Internet, for a degree in Finance]."

Luke: "What kind of crowd did you hang out with in high school?"

Ginger: "Skater chicks."

Luke: "What's a skater chick?"

Ginger: "I skateboarded. I went to a small school. It was real judgmental. Most of the kids were big kickers -- wranglers, cowboy boots. It wasn't really my thing.

"I was a cheerleader and I played basketball."

Luke: "Were you always cute?"

Ginger: "Yeah. In high school, I didn't think I was. I thought I was an ugly duckling. I've always been skinny with big boobs."

She's never had implants. She measures 34D-24-34. She stands 5'7".

Luke: "Did your teachers try to steer you in a particular direction?"

Ginger: "A lot of my teachers wanted me to be more into writing. I was pretty good at writing. But I never got into it. I never really liked it."

Luke: "After you dropped out of university, what did you do then?"

Ginger: "I ended up waitressing. I worked at Hooters. Then I started waitressing at a strip club [in Texas]. Then I danced for a few weeks. I did my first nude photo shoot in Austin. It was not my thing at first. I was really shy. But I was broke. I put all my photos on 1modelplace.com and then I was contacted by a couple of agents (John Stephens of Matrix Models, etc) in California. I decided to come out here and try my hand at modeling."

Ginger moved to Los Angeles in June of 2003. She's appeared in such magazines as Hustler, Club, High Society, Swank, Fox, Gallery. "I did the circuit."

Luke: "What do you think about when you are doing a photoshoot?"

Ginger: "I don't know. I really love shooting.

"My best experience [in the industry] has been running my own website and being able to control that, to control my image and doing Penthouse promotions, meeting other models, and having fun. I haven't had any bad experiences. Sometimes you do things you later on wish you hadn't had done. You just learn from it."

Luke: "So what do you love about the industry and not like?"

Ginger: "People who aren't in the industry are really judgmental about people who are in the industry. As soon as you say you're an adult model, or nude model, you get frowned upon. It's a stupid thing in our society. Women are beautiful and the naked body is an art form. Women in Europe walk around the beach naked all the time and it's acceptable."

Luke: "Have you lost friends because of your work?"

Ginger: "No. The biggest thing that made me lose friends was that I moved here."

Luke: "How did your family react?"

Ginger: "Me and my mum have always had a great relationship. She wasn't too happy with me. But as long as I was being smart about it, and as long as I was still going to school, and I was happy, then that was a good thing. Me and my dad, we've never had a great relationship. Of course it didn't make it any better."

Luke: "How do you like living in Los Angeles?"

Ginger: "In Texas, everything is really slow and everybody is really laid back. LA is more of a fast-pace. I live in the Valley. It is more mellow. I can just hang out with my friends. If I want to kick it up a notch, I can go into LA.

"I'm a homebody. I like to cook and garden. I go to the beach a lot."

Luke: "How often do you get noticed in public?"

Ginger: "Not very, but recently I got noticed. I go to this one grocery store that is close to where I live and the guy behind the meat counter recognized me. He brought in all these magazines. I know he's a fan because he has my Hustler where I have a natural look with brunette hair, and a pinup with big blonde hair. I always look different. He had every one of my magazines.

"You go to the grocery store and you don't have any make-up on and you look like crap and you're wearing sweats and this guy goes, 'Are you Ginger?' Aria Giovanni lives by me. We go to the same grocery store. We've had the same problem there. We were talking about how much it sucks."

Luke: "What are your ambitions?"

Ginger: "I am mainly interested in financing and investing. I want to go into real estate. I play the stock market. Maybe be a Penthouse Pet of the Year."

Luke: "How much of your website do you do yourself?"

Ginger: "I don't do the graphics or the html. Airweb Media (Matt of Mattsmodels.com) run my site. He has a graphics designer and a programmer. I have to schedule all the photo shoots and hire all the photographers. I write in my forums. I have a sex advice column. I write in my diary and I answer my email."

Luke: "Do you like to read? Read any good books lately?"

Ginger: "I do like to read but I haven't had time to read anything lately."

Luke: "How do you determine what your limits are?"

Ginger: "I'm from a small town in Texas. When I first got in the industry, I was naive. I was never fully bi-sexual. I was curious but I was never to the place where I could replace a girl for a guy.

"When I got in the industry, I thought there was no way I could do girl-girl. I'd rather do boy-girl. Then I decided I don't like the boy-girl at all. So now I do some girl-girl. I've never woken up and thought, I want to do some serious pussy today.

"I did half-a-set of boy-girl, but before we did any insertion, I walked off. I didn't like it. I didn't like the guy. I don't want to have sex with a guy I don't think is hot.

"Bob [Guccione] didn't want girls who did boy-girl, but now there's new ownership [of Penthouse] and they're going in the opposite direction. They want girls to do boy-girl, but I'm still not doing it."

Luke: "How often do you get emails asking if you are available for escorting?"

Ginger: "Every day."

Luke: "Would you like to be a mainstream actress?"

Ginger: "It's an awesome idea. I'd like to do it. I got with a mainstream agent and did casting calls, cattle calls, for a while. I live in the Valley now. For me to drive to LA and go to a cattle call, it takes up the whole day. And then I don't get the job. It got pointless. So I have been pursuing it. I'm working on getting my studies out of my hair and having fun."

Luke: "How has being a nude model changed you?"

Ginger: "The first thing of course is that it made me a lot more liberal. I didn't really know jacks--- when I got in the industry. I was so sexually naive that I didn't know what lube was. The first time I tried to have anal sex with my boyfriend, we used lotion. Getting into the industry opened my eyes and made me a lot more comfortable with myself and my body and to enjoy sex more.

"It makes everybody a little bit jaded."

Luke: "How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

Ginger: "Fourteen. It was something where I wanted my parents' attention. My mom worked all the time. I was dating a preacher's son skater bad-boy. He was a virgin. We had sex. I thought sex was great and it sucked. I didn't have sex again until I was 18 and in college and I started realizing what was so great about it."

Luke: "Have you been outside of the United States?"

Ginger: "For the first time I went to Cozumel, Mexico this Christmas with my parents. I haven't been anywhere else."

Crystal Klein Interview

I call her in Hawaii Tuesday afternoon.

She is Penthouse magazine's Miss March, 2005 and the best known Austrian artist since a little nipper by the name of Adolph tried took the country by storm with his lightning techniques (check out his composition and form) about 68-years ago.

Here are some pictures of Crystal from Rob Spallone's Penthouse video shoot December 29, 2004: Crystal Crystal Crystal Crystal Crystal Crystal, Dani Crystal, Dani, Charmane Star Crystal, Dani Woodward, Charmane

[Crystal writes: "I HATE those pics you took of me at the Penthouse video shoot! I look like a hundred-year-old granny with three inches of make-up on. No one ever took such bad pictures of me. I must say you are quite untalented as a photographer. You better stick to writing!"]

I spent much of Friday night (Jan 7) and Saturday morning (Jan 8) with Crystal and her surfer boyfriend as we each worshipped in our own way at the Central Bar at the Venetian and the New Beginnings ballroom.

You can only imagine Crystal's delight when she heard my Aussie-accented tones on her telephone this afternoon. Her heart leapt with joy as she anticipated our intellectual journey.

The last time she had known such wild ecstacy was when she posed naked for photographer Robert Gordon.

Luke: "When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Crystal laughs. English is her second language after German and she speaks it with a British accent similar to her boyfriend's.

[She writes later: "Well, second language is a bit exaggerated but I guess you could say so. I learned it in school but that doesn't count really (it is pathetic what you learn). I really learned it two years ago when I moved here [Maui]... Speaking a language is always the best way to learn it...Oh, and the language "Austrian" does not really exist. My actual mother tongue is German, but I guess you could say the difference between German German and Austrian German is like British and American English. I speak Italian too. I have relatives there."]

"Adult model was far away from my imagination. I want to be, how do you say it, a philosophist?"

Luke: "A philosopher."

Crystal: "Yes."

Luke: "Why did you want to be a philosopher?"

Crystal: "I was always introverted and I had weird thoughts going on. I consider myself quite clever."

We laugh.

[Crystal writes later: "Funny twist there with your 'English is her second language' and then my 'philosophist' and then my 'I consider myself clever.' Next time I'll prepare myself for talking to you, hehe... That's not gonna happen again!"]

Crystal: "When I was young, I thought I was some kind of genius, and I thought, that's the right profession for me. My mom studied philosophy. I knew a lot about it. I obviously thought I was really really clever..."

My childhood thoughts about myself were similar.

Crystal: "The older I got, the more I knew you have to be super clever [to be a philosopher]. I know it sounds weird, but I have diary entries where I wrote, 'I'm so different from all the others. I think so differently. But maybe one day that will be for my advantage. I'll be a great philosopher."

Luke: "Which philosopher was your hero?"

Crystal: "Kant, Schopenhauer and Descartes. None of the old Greek ones."

Crystal grew up in Austria but left when she was 20 for Hawaii where she met her English surfer boyfriend.

Luke: "What did your family expect you to become?"

Crystal: "Everyone expected me to study. We are an academic family. My parents are both teachers."

According to her Penthouse spread:

"I studied psychology at the University of Vienna [for two years] and got burned out. My whole life was school. I knew there was so much more for me to experience outside of class.

"I'm not like a lot of models," adds 34-25-35 Crystal. "I don't crave celebrity. I can be a party girl, but I'd much rather spend my time reading, playing piano, or enjoying the company of a good man.

"In my opinion, the secret to great sex is not technique. It's about making a connection with your partner. If I click with a man, everything else just slides into place."

As Crystal talked to me, she felt like she was riding a great wave, she was cresting a thought that had overpowered her entire being.

"I did enjoy studying psychology. I did not enjoy where I was [Vienna] and where I was studying. I always felt like I had to get out of Austria and I always knew I would."

Luke: "How did you come to start posing naked?"

Crystal laughs: "That's always a weird one, isn't it? When I moved to Maui [January 2003], I took some time off because I was burned out from university. Then the money issue came up obviously. I didn't feel like going back to Vienna to continue studying.

"So I said, what the hell, let me see if I can do modeling. I started with swimsuit modeling. There was this guy. He's a real asshole and scumbag. I didn't know [he was]. He took the first nude pictures of me. He's not even a real photographer. He's still around on the island, still doing his thing. Chuck Turner. He photographs girls for all the amateur contests in the magazines like Hustler's Beaver Hunt.

"I didn't know any better. I had never done nude modeling before. But I picked it up quickly. Then an agent (John Stephens from Matrix Models) discovered me on the Internet. I flew to LA and I got shot by Suze Randall, Earl Miller, Stephen Hicks and so on."

Luke: "How has posing naked affected your views on philosophy?"

Crystal, long pause: "Well, quite a lot, I guess. I have no problem with what I am doing. But I am aware that's just because you get real used to it. Once you've done it, you can do it again because you've done it and you say, oh well, that's not so bad. Then you do it again and you just get used to it.

"I do know that it is kind of a contradiction in a lot of ways from what I thought earlier. But as you grow older, your views change.

"I'm not saying that I am ok with everything that goes on in the industry and that I am 100% nude model. I'm not a feminist obviously. I couldn't be with what I am doing. But I understand their point of view as well.

"I am definitely going back to school [as soon as she can afford it]. It's hard for me right now because I am not a resident and I can't afford it without major changes in my lifestyle. When I become a citizen or a resident, then definitely go back to studying. I know that is what I am going to do when I am older. I am not going to do this forever."

Luke: "Are you going back to study psychology?"

Crystal: "For sure."

I get an email from Lainie Speiser, Penthouse publicist.

Luke: "Huh."

Crystal: "Huh, what?"

[Crystal writes later: "Oh, now I figured out that long awkward pause before you asked me if I wanted to be a psychotherapist! Lainie! Yeah, she called me right afterwards and complained about you. I enjoyed that quite a lot heheh. Yep, you are in trouble! I told her I've known you from before and that I don't have a problem with it. I couldn't prevent myself from saying that you are a psychopath."]

Damn, she's caught me. Women can do that. They know when you are not concentrating on them. When you are not listening.

Trying to cover myself, I say: "I was just wondering..."

I search my mind for a coherent question. "What direction you would go. So..."

A long pause. I try to put together my question and digest Lainie's email. "Do you want to be a psychologist or do you want to, uh...?"

Can't go wrong with that, I figure.

Crystal: "Yes, I want to be a psycho-therapist."

Luke, reading another Lainie email, breaths out. "Ok."

Crystal: "Not a psycho-analyst."

Luke, trying to figure out how to reply to Lainie: "Not a psycho-analyst?"

Crystal: "Nope."

Luke types out a quick email to Lainie.

Luke: "So..."

Luke hits send.

"What struck you? What got your attention during your time in Las Vegas at the [porn] convention?"

Crystal: "What I view as the main problem in the whole industry is that everything becomes normal for everyone. I don't want that to happen to me. I don't condemn the porn chicks for what they're doing, but I can see how it works. They live in their own world. It's a porn world where it all gets normal. They don't see from the outside anymore. Most of them hang out with other porn people. They really do view themselves as stars. I think that's sad. What have they achieved? It's not something they can be totally proud of if you suck someone's cock.

"What I'm doing is a good job. It's good money. I'm comfortable with what I'm doing. I am aware that it is not something that I would go out in the world and say, 'Oh, look at me. I'm so great. I did this and that.' But if you spend too much time in the industry with certain people you tend to think like that."

Luke: "I take it you are not looking forward to winning an AVN award one day?"

Crystal laughs: "No. It's not one of my goals."

I get another email from Lainie. I pause to read it and go with a fallback question: "How would the people who know you really well describe your personality?"

Crystal: "They know that I'm introverted. I can be outgoing but I am someone who spends a lot of time alone. I need my own space. I need very few friends. I know a lot of people but I don't let many people get close. I read a lot. I need that time to relax when I am on my own because it really drains me being with people all the time. If I go to Las Vegas, it's fun for a day or two but I can't do it for a week in a row.

"I can enjoy partying once in a while. Once a month. Don't really enjoy it. Other than that, I enjoy being in my own little world."

Luke: "What are the best books you've read lately?"

Crystal: "There are two that I really like (Going Down, High Maintenance) by Jennifer Belle. I told you about them before. Her books are very sarcastic and very realistic. It's black humor. It makes me laugh out loud."

Luke: "I've been trying to think of some Austrian jokes but I've come up empty.

"Who's your favorite Austrian artist?"

Crystal: "There are no amazing artists anymore. Mozart is cool."

Luke: "And that painter named Adolph."

Crystal: "Oh yes. I'm not really proud of that one. Most people think he's German. They don't know he was born in Austria."

Why is Brian Grazer taking Shots at the Adult Business?

AVN President Paul Fishbein writes:

Now that we've given glowing reviews to "Inside Deep Throat,'" it's nice to see Oscar-winning producer Brian Grazer going on "Good Morning America" today and taking a shot at the adult business. Is this another case of someone from the mainstream taking advantage of the business for his own personal use and then discarding the industry like yesterday's lunch? Of course it is.

I have my own Brian Grazer story. But I liked the documentray so much I wasn't going to go public with it. Maybe now I will.

[Howard] Stern is very pro- adult business. He has the girls on, talks about the movies and has, by far, done more to promote the adult business to the mainstream than anyone. The shots he takes are just jokes. He loves and promotes the business. And he's been doing it for AVN for over 20 years. We feel very welcome there. Grazer is a whole different story.

Paul must be upset because his Eagles lost the Super Bowl.

Brian Grazer Profile

Born in 1951, Brian Grazer grew up in Northridge, California. His father was a criminal defense lawyer. Grazer describes his upbringing as like the TV show "Leave it to Beaver".

Brian was a poor student. He made it to law school at USC, working nights as a short-order cook on the night shift at Howard Johnson's.

He eventually got a job as a law clerk at Warner Bros. He dropped out of law school in 1972 and was hired by Edgar J. Scherick.

"He was alert, he was cute, he seemed ambitious," says Scherick. "He seemed like a nice young man with a good future. Turned out he was very opportunistic. He was always expanding his range of contacts, always cultivating people. He was very aggressive. The minute he started working for me, he was out to work for Brian Grazer. Nothing wrong with that. One day, he told me he was dissatisfied. We talked for half an hour and I gave him a raise. The next day, he quit. Why? You tell me." (The New Yorker, 10/15/01)

Larissa MacFarquhar writes: "What set Grazer apart from everybody else was his crazy tenacity. People insulted him, ignored him, and rejected him, but he persisted. He could take a level of humiliation that other people couldn't. When he was trying to sell Splash, he so infuriated an executive at United Artists that she told him him to go away, lose her number, and never, ever call her again. Ten minutes afterward, he phoned her back as though nothing had happened, and she was so astounded that she talked to him. Later, she bought the movie." (TNY, 10/15/01)

After landing a TV production deal at Paramount, where he met actor-director Ron Howard. They formed a production company, Imagine Entertainment, in 1986. "Grazer is the bad cop who cajoles, threatens, and punishes, allowing Howard to live with his family on the East Coast and be the nicest guy in the business.

A Hollywood player says: "Unlike his Ivy League educated peers, Brian Grazer is essentially a street hustler. He doesn't read much. There's a feral (wild, savage, not domesticated) quality about him."

Chris Mankiewicz says: "I remember associate producing a movie that Brian Grazer produced - 1986's Armed and Dangerous. It was a real piece of caca doodoo. And Brian Grazer was never there except for when we had a really dirty sexy scene with a girl he was interested in taking a look at... And when they were doing a studio publicity thing about the making of the movie, suddenly he wanted to be there because he wanted to show everybody he was the producer."

Until the remake of the The Nutty Professor and Liar, Liar, Grazer had not produced a hit that was not directed by his business partner Ron Howard. Grazer has long been known for broad comedies while Howard has been known for making middle-brow movies.

"Grazer likes to make movies that are both hip and wholesome, but, if there is a conflict between the two, wholesome will win. Grazer does not make films for the peevish cosmopolitan. In his movies...the main character always possesses some noble attribute, and his flaws are always redeemed by love. The classic Grazer movie is a sweet but brisk comedy that is structured like amusical: a simple story line provides connections between scenes in which the star spins free of the plot into the thrilling, maniacal spasms that exhibit his particular genius.

"Grazer's taste is consistent through every aspect of his life. Even his house is like his movies - simple, colorful, big." (TNY 10/15/01)

Brian son Riley, was born in 1986, daughter Sage, was born in 1988, and son Thomas in 1999.

Grazer likes to wander on this his film sets incognito and see how people treat him. Often they are rude. He enjoys firing such people, or at least seeing the expressions on their faces when they learn who he is. (TNY)

Grazer has said that he is "completely impervious to rejection."

Brian Grazer did not answer my repeated requests for an interview.

Grazer told the 2/5/01 edition of Newsweek: "After my first success - after Splash - I was intoxicated to the state of just about euphoria for six months. And then I realized that people were still going to say no to the things that I wanted, no matter now smart I thought I was. This is what put it in perspective for me. At the time, Steven Spielberg was getting put into turnaround [i.e., put on hold] for E.T. - after Jaws and Raiders of the Lost Ark. And I thought, 'Wow, even this guy is getting put into turnaround.'"

Grazer says he's a nervous wreck on the day his movie opens. "I just have anxiety the entire day. At night I go from theater to theater. I get drunk usually every time, because I am so neurotic about the whole thing. And then I wake up at 5 or %;30 the next morning, and they either say it worked or it didn't work.

"Because The Grinch was unusually successful, I got a lot of people that called and wrote letters. I don't know if I really buy it, but it feels better than the other... When I've had a movie that didn't do well at all, I've had people call and say, "How are you feeling? How are you doing?" I had one person try to develop an intimacy with me because, "I don't want to be there just when things are great." And it's like, "Well, you weren't." People just want to know: what does the pain feel like? They're dying for you to show your pain."

At the beginning of his career, according to the 10/15/01 issue of The New Yorker, Grazer pondered what sort of man he should be. "Should I be liked, or not? Should I comb my hair and wear a suit, or should I wear jeans and be quirky? I saw that powerful people in Hollywood want to talk about themselves and have a ton of opinions, so I thought, Should I be that guy? Or should I be the guy who asks questions all the time? Which guy should I be?"

Grazer decided to be the listener. He decided to charm rather than intimidate. He went on to make movies that grossed over four billion dollars, making him one of the the industry's three most powerful producers along with Gerry Bruckheimer and Scott Rudin.

In the year 2001, Grazer was developing a movie about the life of Hugh Hefner. Brian was fascinated that Hugh could sleep with thousands of women and they all seemed to like him afterwards. Most guys couldn't break up with one woman without making her hate him, he thought.

"Grazer is a man of maxims. He believes that the game of life has rules, and the person who discovers the most rules and observes them faithfully will win. Over the years, Grazer has developed a detailed code of conduct that covers nearly every aspect of his life, and even now he rehearses his rules with a superstitious fervor." (TNY 10/15/01)

Todd Jones writes on alt.video.dvd: "The perfect example of why the Producer is NOT a creative force: Gale Anne Hurd. She was the Producer of The Terminator, Aliens, and The Abyss. Wow, sounds impressive, right? Wrong, she was JUST the Producer. After she had a falling out with James Cameron, the director of the Terminator, Aliens, and Abyss, Cameron went on to direct T2: Judgment Day, True Lies, and Titanic. Gale Anne Hurd went on to produce such classics of modern cinema as Switchback and The Relic. Watch any making-of documentary or listen to any commentary track with a Producer on it to realize that Producers are just shmoozing phone jockeys who don't have an ounce of talent in them, except maybe for finding money. A recent favorite is the Lost Moon documentary, in which Producer Brian Grazer basically says that he didn't [know] that there was an Apollo program, and says, "I don't read much. I'm very intuitive.""

Vince writes:

What with the Brian Grazer profile? Does it have to do with the imminent release of Inside Deep Throat (Grazer as executive Producer), where the goyim will once again have it re-inforced that they will never be able to reasonable control licentious sexual media in this country, and they are rubes for even thinking that they should or could?

I saw snippets of the film on one of the network news shows, and what came to mind while viewing the clips of the talking heads - "Smirking Jew pornographers."

Rob Spallone Seeks Older Women

Rob calls: "We are looking for women over 40, closer to 50-and-over, for this week and I'm looking for any girl with tits bigger than DD. Email me at robspallone at aol.com."

How Does A Husband Ask His Wife To Look Better?

How does a husband nicely say to his wife: Honey, you are dressing like my grandmother. Or, honey, you've lost your figure. Or, honey, you don't smell good. Or, honey, I love you. I wish you'd lose weight. It would be good for our marriage.

Dennis Prager says: If you say he should say nothing, then you are saying that a man should not say anything about something that is of staggering importance to him.

There is the usual trade-off of her looks and his income. How about a man who is the sole breadwinner deciding to stay home to watch sports and earn less money? How would the wife like it?

Remember how frumpy Newt Gingrich's last ex-wife looked (when he was Speaker of the House of Representatives)? Then he divorced and a few months later, she looked good. She worked on herself and it showed.

Should a man say nothing and just hope for the best?

Good men are frightened out of their minds about saying anything like this.

A woman caller suggests: Buy her a new outfit.

So a man does that, and then she says, what's the matter? Don't you like how I look?

Woman caller: "You can't say anything to women. We're irrational emotionally about how our husbands feel. I feel sorry for you boys. Men are expected to accept everything about their wives but women are not held to that same criteria."

Inside Deep Throat

Todd David Schwartz, Arts & Entertainment Correspondent for "The Paul Mitchell Show," a newly launched, nationally syndicated talk radio program, writes on IMDB.com.

INSIDE DEEP THROAT gets Four Stars (highest rating). DEEP THROAT, released in the early 1970's, is considered the first major porn film. It became, to say the least, quite a "cause celeb." This documentary, INSIDE DEEP THROAT, explores the impact of the film on society, and shows how sex, culture, politics, and morality all collided to explosive effect.

INSIDE DEEP THROAT is an utterly fascinating cinematic experience, amazingly thorough, ceaselessly entertaining. I grew up during the time depicted in the film (over 30 years ago), but for those of you young 'uns who weren't around then, this will prove particularly eye-opening. The filmmakers were able to gather an impressive group of big-names to throw in their two-cents worth on the subject: Norman Mailer, Camille Paglia, Erica Jong, Dick Cavett -- names, again, that may be unfamiliar to those of you who weren't around during the time of DEEP THROAT's release.

My only complaint about the film (an admittedly minor one) is that the filmmakers don't spend more time delving into allegations made by Linda Lovelace (DEEP THROAT's star) in her book ORDEAL, where she essentially claims that she was forced at gunpoint to perform in the film by her husband/manager Chuck Traynor. ORDEAL is quite a juicy read. It was originally released by a major publishing house, but has long been out of print. INSIDE DEEP THROAT certainly mentions the book, and shows how Lovelace did a turn-around and became an unexpected spokeswoman for anti-porn feminists. But the documentary generally leaves unexamined just how accurate ORDEAL's claims may have been.

In the documentary, Hugh Hefner pontificates grandly about DEEP THROAT's cultural impact. NOT mentioned in the film is the allegation Lovelace makes in ORDEAL that, at the height of her popularity, she was invited up to the Playboy Mansion where Hef tried to get her to have sex with a dog, while people stood around and watched. Rather exploitive of you, Mr. Hefner, is it not? (Assumimg the allegation is true.) Also in the book and not mentioned in the film, is Lovelace's wild sexual relationship with entertainer Sammy Davis, Jr. Not only did Davis have Lovelace demonstrate her deep throat fellatio technique on him (according to Lovelace), but Davis performed fellatio on Lovelace's hubby Chuck Traynor! I would have personally liked to see the film examine the book's allegations a little more closely. As it is (and as I indicated earlier), the film IS impressively thorough with the information it does provide, and it's presented with tremendous flair. INSIDE DEEP THROAT is rated NC-17 for a reason:

The film includes an explicit scene from DEEP THROAT of Lovelace performing the fellatio technique for which the porn film was named and for which she became famous. Including this scene was a smart and important choice on the part of the filmmakers. It would have been a cop-out to have people sitting around talking about one of the primary reasons why DEEP THROAT became a must see, without actually showing it.

Luke Seeks A Wife Nominated For Best Jewish Humor Blog

Chaim Amalek writes:

I need you to appeal all the people you know in porn to cast as many votes as possible for this fine effort. I'm not joking. I've never won anything in my life, and I'm currently down around 120 to 4 in the voting. And I don't command any voting blacks, I mean blocks. Please tell every shvartze that you know that the way to stick it to the Man is to vote for wife blog. I'll bet your porn friends could put me over the top. Also tell them that I am fully willing to sell myself out to them for the right price. And that I come cheap.

Rejecting Gram Ponante, Moving In With AVN's Heidi Pike-Johnson

Gram Ponante sent me a list of corrections to my transcript of our recent conversation.

I wrote him back: "I've concluded your interview as is is good enough for porn... The mistakes give it a feeling of authenticity."

Gram replies: "Excellent! You have passed the test. I'll send Heidi Pike-Johnson 'round with the UHaul so you can move your stuff into her house."

Catalina Trying To Hide Deep Dark Secrets?

Smelly Monkey writes on XPT:

Just read a bit of Duke Ford's interview with porn star and Max Hardcore's [girlfriend] Catalina, and this part jumped out at me

Duke: "Did you have a good home life?"

Catalina: "Yes. If you want to know anything negative, there's nothing negative in my life, so don't even bother asking."

Duke: "There's nothing negative in your whole life?"

Catalina: "Right."

Please be a tad more defensive. I also like this answer to this question:

Duke: "At what age did you love your virginity?"

Catalina: "I like to keep my privacy on my virginity. It's on my bio on my website www.catalinaxxx.com."

Ohh its such a personal question, unless you are willing to view my site, where im auction my first born child...

Jamie L. Brian writes: "Can't recall reading a more evasive interview in my life. This girl definitely has her demons."

Catalina writes:

Jamie and smelly are the ones with the demonds. you are rotten people who can not be associated with reality so you have to join this kind of porn site and put all your energy into them. you have any questions? if you do I may not want to answer them. have a terrible day. Don't let my name come out of you two ever again. I might be cursed for life.

Listen to me want to be cute guy, you all don't exist to me. you can all go to your brothers sisters aunts cemetary animal speaking talk to no where, it has all been said before give me a better comeback.

Keep messing with a smart homegirl baby. I know you want to. You don't even have any kind of doctor degree to be talking like you are.

You guys are talking Martian and I don't have an interpreter. Go to my web site at www.catalinaxxx.com and send me an email in plain English please.

Max Hardcore (pictured with Little Cinderella) writes:

thats it sweetheart, give them hell! just like we did to them damn iraqi's at the alamo! YEEHAA!

you done did it now! i just drank 2 big gulps full of mr. pibb. i gots me a full bladder waiting for your open mouth. YEEHAA! YEEHAA! PEE PEE! PEE PEE!

i don't watch them fratenity fag flicks, miss. i only watch manly movies with real men like rock hudson. BANG BANG!

Joe writes:

That Catalina interview was certainly interesting..in the way that a train wreck is interesting. Doesn't do much for the porn girls who would have us believe they're regular people with no issues, does she?

Speaking of porn chicks, what is it with the tongue pins? This increases their attractiveness how?

And just out of curiousity, any of the porn guys willing to share any workout secrets? Seems like they need strong backs and lots of flexibility for some of the stuff they do. I realize some sex acts are things we kids shouldn't try at home, but piledrive looks intriguing.

Does Catalina give out her phone number or her satellite coordinates, since she seems really out there? (A cheap shot I had to throw in.)

Writer Joe Diamond Wants Sex With Jennifer Steele, But He Doesn't Want To Pay For It

Jennifer Steele writes me: "I don't know if you know this Joe Diamond guy, but since when does starving-artist-dick become acceptable payment for adult stars doing magazine work?"

Joe Diamond replies: "Luke, I wasn't writing to her as an adult star to suggest that she do magazine work for free. I was writing to her in her capacity as an escort (www.jennifersteele.com/welcome.htm invites people to make an "appointment" with her through escort agency Exotica 2000) to see if she'd let me try out her services in exchange for coverage. It's journalistic "freeloading," I admit, but it's no different than a restaurant giving a meal on the house to a food critic."

Their email exchange follows:

Joe Diamond begins:

Hey, Jennifer. I'm a NY-based writer for various men's magazines, including Oui, Fox, Hustler and Maxim. (See www.riojoe.com for some of my stuff.) I'd love to spend some "quality time" with you when you're in the Big Apple. Unfortunately, I'm just a poor struggling "wordsmith" who's barely got a pot to piss in, as the saying goes. But I could do a great feature on you, if that's cool. Please drop me a line. By the way, have you been back to Brazil since filming "Puck"? I'm what you'd call a Brazil "nut." I recently did an article for Hustler on my "sexcapades" in Rio. You can see it online starting at http://www.joediamond.us/wildside/riohustcov.htm . I'm also working on a book about Rio. Details here: http://www.joediamond.us/book.htm

Jennifer responds: "Are you saying you want me to f--- you for an article in Oui?"

Joe replies:

The angle could be:

"Jennifer Steele: The female behind the flames"
Or "Jennifer Steele: The babe behind the blaze"
Or "Jennifer Steele Ignites Inferno of Passion"
Or "Red-Hot Steele Makes me Sizzle in all the Right Places"

Some of these admittedly are really lame. They're just off the top of my head.

Jennifer responds:

OK...so let me ask you this. If this article-writing is what you do, and you think I'd make a cool story (which I know I would), where does f---ing you come into play when I'd be working to do the interview and the photoshoot as it is? Now if you want to come to my hotel, smoke a joint, hang, and order room service, do an interview and shoot some photos, I'd be down for THAT...But the gratuitous sex? I have to save that for those who pay my rent. , and I'm sure you know that every Tom Dick and Harry likes to say they'll put you in a magazine. The real people don't expect freebies.

Joe responds:

>Besides...I've never heard of you

Check out some of my articles at www.riojoe.com . Also, I can put you in touch with editors and people in the porn biz who can vouch for me.

>If this article-writing is what you do, and you think I'd make a cool story (which I know I would), where does f---ing you come into play...?

The theme of the article I'm working on is what it's like to have sex with a porn star. It would go into my monthly column in Oui Magazine. A British porn-magazine editor told me at AVN Expo last month that he's running a series of articles called "Test Drive," where the writer sleeps with various porn stars. My idea is based on that.

You and I are both professionals who get paid for what we do. Unfortunately, I make quite a bit less for my articles than you do for your services. If the writing did pay me enough, I'd have no problem paying you for your time because sleeping with a gorgeous porn star would make for a great story. (Not to mention that you're probably amazing in bed.) But it's a catch-22: I can't afford to pay you for your time, and I don't know that I can convince you that the article would have enough publicity value for you to make it worth your time.

Jill Kelly Productions Analysis

Smiling Arab writes on XPT:

Bob Friedland runs a shell corporation called Matzuda. When he was still dating employees he had 50 years on, Matzuda was essentially acting as the liquid cash for financing JKP's operations, incurring considerable debt. Many of those debts were later converted into stock options held not by Matzuda but a trust fund in Bob's name. What sort of operating expenses did JKP incur for Matzuda? That's buried in the prospectus:

From January 1, 2001 to April 30, 2003, we paid Matzuda Corporation $5,000 a month as rental payments on the office space that we rented for our operations.

JKP was later paying less than this--approximately $4,000 and change--for an entire floor of a building they were renting. It doesn't end there, though. Bob was also paying his company--he was CEO, remember--a "consulting fee":

From January 1, 2001 to July 31, 2003, we paid Matzuda Corporation consulting fees in the amount of $37,500 per month in connection with film production consulting services it provided to us.

I'm curious what "film production consulting services" Bob provided to Bob. Did Bob say "Hey, Bob, how about more blondes in JKP videos?" Or did he say, "Hmm, Shyla... that's a girl you should hire, marry, and then annul." Whatever advice was given by Bob to Bob, it was certainly well rewarded.

Insider writes Luke:

Smiling Arab, from the period of 1-1-01 to 4-30-03, JKP operated out of Friedland's house, so he was the beneficiary of the "rent".

As for the $37,500 per month for "film production consulting services", that's not bad for a man who has no prior experience with film (mainstream or adult) production! His only experience was with hiring porn-star escorts. Man, I'd love a job that pays me $450,000 per year for something I know nothing about!

If these two are not examples of why we in the industry refer to JKP as a fraud (if not legal fraud, then certainly it is ethical fraud), then I don't know what is. A warning to anyone owed money by JKP: do not, and I repeat DO NOT accept their worthless stock in lieu of monies owed. Insist they pay you back in US currency.

Look at Korestsky/Pleasure: how many years do you think it will take Class A JKP stock to be valued at 10.00 per share (the amount need to for Koretsky to cash out)? I am willing to bet it never happens.

Scott Hoover, JKP publicity man, writes XPT:

I wrote a letter to Luke explaining that the split with Bizarre was very difficult for all the employees here at JKP. What went on behind the scenes- none of us really know. There were all kinds of crazy things going on and rumours floating and we had no idea what was the real story. We were friend here- the employees- so it was like we had just gained a new family, then BOOM- a divorce just when you were getting to know each other.

My one and only concern was people saying that Keith or Bizarre was out to get us and f--- us over, etc. I was not defending or propping up anyone - just the fact of the matter was nobody from Bizarre set Jill's house on fire and was 'sending a message." All that did was start more gossip... that is not what we needed to hear. I know everyone loves dirt - I love it just as much as the next guy...but we are just trying to get back to business. Thanks.

Smiling Arab writes on XPT:

JKP seems to be very unfortunate in their business dealings, particularly when it comes to letters of intent (which are then trumpeted to the Adult industry and PRNewswire and then never heard about again). Correct me if I'm wrong, but the first appearance of this deus ex machina was in regard to the all-JKP cable channel. I'm told that this is no longer more than an idea, and a fairly vague one. Next, we have another letter of intent, this one for the nightclub--also trumpeted far and wide--which also turns out to be vapor, and it turns out it was JKP itself which pulled out of the deal for unknown reasons (Scott...?)

I believe the "clothing deal" (I presume you know what I'm talking about) was also based around a letter of intent. Now, I'm just a solicitor--Chicago firm, yes, University of Chicago School of Law, yes, but certainly not a friend of D'Amato's--but do so many deals so frequently turn out so dismal in the penny stock world? It seems that the only JKP announcement of business expansion which didn't bust, now that Keith Gordon has taken his toys and gone home and left that lonesome warehouse half-empty, is the deal to license content to a television station in Romania. I'll let that speak for itself.

I believe clothing line is supposed to come out in March.