Wednesday, August 4, 2004
Email Luke Archives
Producers Aug 1
Women's sexual drive tends to be related to their menstrual cycles,
while men's drive is fairly constant. The hormone, testosterone is a
major factor in stimulating men's sexual desire. Women, on the other
hand, are stimulated more by touch and romantic words. They are far
more attracted by a man's personality while men are stimulated by sight
and physical appearance. Men are usually less discriminating about those
to whom they are physically attracted. A man needs little or preparation
for sex. However, a woman needs to be emotionally and mentally prepared,
often hours in advance. Her preparation requires tender consideration
while harshness or abusive treatment can easily remove her desire for
sex for days at a time. When a woman's emotions have been bruised by
her husband, she can be repulsed by his advances. They feel like prostitutes
when they are forced to make love while feeling resentment toward their
husbands. However a man may have no idea what he is putting his wife
through when he does such a thing. These basic differences are the source
of many conflicts in marriage, and they usually surface soon after the
The principle of authority and submission is not based on God's word
alone, but also observable in His creation. The practice of a Christian
woman's covering her head, her head as a symbol of subordination to
man is a reflection of the natural order (I Corinthians 11:14-15).
Montana Gunn In New York City
Hey ya all I will be in New York playing and also doing a few movies.
I will be offering 1 hour appts for $1000 and check out my new website
all current pics and you can contact my assistant Lisa 818-312-1836 for
more details and setting up appts. Have a great day and see you in New
KSEXRadio's All-Star Lineup
wrote on AdultDVDTalk.com: "KSEX seems to be doing alot of thing,
I just hope the talent is taken care of over there."
Wankus from KSEXradio writes:
No one is held against their will. If they weren't being taken care
of, I would think you'd see a decrease in porn stars hosting shows as
opposed to an increase. People like Katie Morgan, Alana Evans, Rebecca
Love, Cytherea, Brooke Hunter...with us for over two years. Ginger Lynn,
Kylie Ireland, Gauge, Keri Windsor, Dee and Lisa Sparxxx...with us for
over a year. New stars signed on like Kaylani Lei, Stormy and Teagan.
It would be pretty hard to keep that ALL-STAR roster happy if they
weren't getting something out of it.
Let's leave this thread what it was and you and I can chat more sometime
off of this thread. I'm an open book my man. Nothing to hide, anyone
that knows me knows that I'm on the level, fair and fun to be around.
Hit me up, we'll have a beer sometime and chat.
James DiGiorgio's To-Do List
Anyway, here's my list: whatever
day you're reading it:
1. Wake up.
2. Wake up again after falling back asleep right after the first time
I woke up.
4. Stumble down the stairs to the kitchen and make coffee.
13. Drive to the Valley to deliver this CD of photo images I forgot
to burn on the set of the last shoot I was on.
14. Shoot a scene... actually, reshoot some wrap-arounds for a comp
tape the producers of the tape decided to change because they changed
the scenes they'd planned to include when they originally planned the
scenes to include in the comp.
15. Go to a couple of different banks to see if a couple of different
checks I've been carrying around are finally good.
16. Stop at the Goodwill and see if there's any more junk I want to
buy to further clutter my living environment.
19. Get stoned.
Howard Stern Recap
A caller told Howard he's sick of Howard talking about terrorists.
He said that Robin gets all of her facts wrong and Howard only reads
3 lines of a story and doesn't give the full details. Howard told the
caller that he saw Condoliza Rice on Bill O'Reilly's show last night
talking about how there are 16,000 illegal immigrants coming over from
Mexico every day and some of those could be terrorists because Mexico
allows them into their country. O'Reilly asked her why we don't try
to keep these people out of our country and she would not answer. The
caller said he doesn't care about that because Howard should just try
to be funny instead of talking about this nonsense.
The caller ended up hanging up on them Howard moved on to Corina Taylor
who was on the show a few months ago talking about how her step-father
and mother watch her videos together. Howard wanted to find out if the
father gets turned on when he watches them. The father says he doesn't
get turned on but Howard had to bring him in to get a lie detector test
No Peeing Shots In Latest Penthouse
Publisher Bob Guccione is apparently giving that a rest. Though there
is some woman-on-man strap-on action in the November issue.
The Naked Truth
Cindi Loftus writes:
Larry Flynt's platinum personality, along with his golden wheel chair
paid a visit to Fort Lauderdale tonight. He sat long past his 7pm-9pm
book signing, because at the appointed leaving hour the line was still
out the door. His new Hustler store, whose opening was fought by the
right wing detractors, was up and running tonight with a largely supportive
crowd. There were no detractors present. There was no protest. What
did show up though, were hundreds of supporters and a whole bunch of
news crews. ( Larry was featured on every local news station here, at
12 noon, 6pm and the 11 o'clock news) Mr. Flynt's new book, Sex, Lies
& Politics, The Naked Truth, cries out against the "Bushies", comparing
Dubbya's rule to Orwell's novel "1984". Ya'll know how much I love that
book, since some of you got it for Xmas. Long live Larry and I thank
him for his mission in life to fight for our freedom of speech, no matter
the cost. His cost was so high, but he continues to believe that it's
worth it. And I do too. Larry, you are a hero to millions, and most
of us porners although we would love to say we could, would never live
up to what you have gone through for our cause. A heart felt thank you
is certainly not enough. But that is all I can give.
Porn Purchase Leads To Unironic Ejaculation
WINNETKA, IL-A local man's ironic purchase of a humorously titled hardcore-porn
video Saturday led to a sincere, earnest ejaculation devoid of any irony
Interview with Monica Mayhem
By Cindi Loftus, courtesy of Xcitement Magazine
From Queensland to Porn star! Monica Mayhem embodies that hard-hitting
f-ck-ability we all like to see in our X-rated movies. She's appeared
in over 200 movies in the four years she's been in the business. Monica
is also working on her singing career. Her music has been played on the
radio across the country.
Xcitement: How did you get from Australia to here?
Monica: I left Australia when I was 21 and traveled in Europe. I was working
in the financial market, like futures and foreign exchange trading, for
six years and I really, really hated that life. So I started dancing at
the Spearmint Rhino in London. I met one of the owners and we got drunk
and he flew me back to America with him that night. And I've never looked
back from there. That was in December 2000.
X: How did you go from dancing to porn star?
M: I kinda got thrown into it by an agent. But the money was so good.
I said yeah!
X: What is the difference between the sex industry in Australia and it
M: I really have no idea because I wasn't involved in it there at all.
X: What is the weirdest thing that you found about the United States?
M: That everyone wants deep-fried everything here. They deep fry cheese!
X: You didn't have that back home huh?
M: No. And the restaurant meals are like three times the size over here.
X: That's why we Americans are all fat. You don't see a lot of fat Australians.
M: (laughs) I'm not saying that, you are!
X: I've read that there is a Monica Mayhem blow up doll that looks just
M: I do have a blow up doll that does NOT look just like me! The face
is distorted a little. It's pretty funny.
X: Does it feel strange to have a blow up doll of you?
M: It is kind of strange and also funny at the same time.
X: You should have a couple of them laying around your house. Sitting
on the couch.
M: I joke about driving around with it on the passenger seat. Going in
the car pool lane. Getting pulled over by a cop.
X: So you signed with Cherry Boxxx pictures?
M: Yes it's a non-exclusive twelve picture deal.
X: How do you like working for Cherry Box Pictures? Can you tell us a
little bit about the movies that you have made for them?
M: Cherry Boxxx is great, Rick Davis, my director is super cool, shoots
quick, and the movies I have made for them so far have been easy, and
I've been able to have a say in what actually goes on in the storyline.
X: Do you have some of their movies out at the stores right now?
M: Yes. I have a few main features that are done. And I've also shot a
few that are just coming out.
X: What stands out as the your all time favorite movie that you have made?
M: My all time fav movie, I guess would have to be Sweet Sounds by Adam
and Eve, that was my first time in a recording studio, singing, and singing
on stage in front of a huge crowd.
X: How many movies have you done all together?
M: Since I've been here, over two hundred.
X: What is your favorite thing about being an adult star?
M: Being able to work when I want, with whom I want, charge how much I
want. It's just such a laid back lifestyle.
X: Do you like feature dancing?
M: Yes it's fun. You get to go to all different cities all the time and
meet new people. Meeting all the fans. It's cool.
X: What is the best sex scene you've have ever done?
M: Oh, that's way too hard! There have been so many I just couldn't pick
X: You've got a beautiful body. Is everything natural?
M: (laughs) Used to be.
X: Is there a lot of pressure to get a boob job if you are in the industry?
M: No. That had nothing to do with the business what so ever. That was
my choice and the fact that I was able afford to do it. That is why I
X: If people want to see more pictures of you where should they go?
M: My website is MonicaMayhemXXX.com.
X: There are a lot of sites that people put up with your name on them.
Where do they get the pictures of you? Do they steal them?
M: They steal them. And that can cost them ten thousand an image. If someone
is trying to charge for it and say that it is official then that is wrong.
If someone starts a free fan site that is fine.
X: How often do you do scenes?
M: Like one to three scenes a month.
X: So say you are having sex on camera three times a month. How many times
are you having sex in your personal life?
M: Well I would be if I was dating.
X: I just wonder if you have more sex then "normal" people.
M: Uhm. No. If I was working every day, like I used to maybe. But I have
cut down a lot. I don't do that unless I am with someone, dating someone.
I don't sleep around.
X: What kind of guy would you be looking for?
M: Much older, at least over thirty-five, a good sense of humor, successful.
I don't want to be supporting anyone. Intelligent.
X: What would be your favorite sex act?
M: It's hard to say right now. (phone static).. restaurant.
X: So you like having sex in a restaurant?
M: No, I said I can't say right now because I am IN a restaurant! (laughs)
X: Ahhh. What is the funniest thing that ever happened to you while filming
M: I don't know. A lot of funny stuff happens to me. I generally get in
a lot of trouble. I've had many funny times while filming, for example
the director might make some kind of joke to the male performer in the
middle of sex, and we just crack up for like 10mins. And can't stop laughing.
X: Do you have an unfulfilled fantasy?
M: No. I have pretty much done everything now.
X: What are you looking forward to?
M: Hopefully a successful music career.
X: Really? You are a singer?
M: Yes. I've been working on that right now, while I am traveling all
over the country.
X: What kind of music do you do?
M: It's rock. Kind of like Rap/rock.
X: Do you have anything out yet?
M: No not yet.
X: You should put a clip on your site so your fans can go listen to it.
M: I'm actually going to do that. I just have to get it copyrighted.
X: I'd like to hear you sing.
M: Well I do a lot of radio station interviews when I travel, so I have
had it played on the radio.
X: That must be fun. I think one of the reasons you stand out is your
makeup. Did you come up with the look your self?
M: Yes. I like doing makeup. I'm a creative type in general. I design
my own costumes.
X: While I was doing research on you for this interview, the one thing
I noticed was that there was no controversy. I couldn't find anything
bad said about you.
M: There are some things said by catty girls who spread rumors and stuff.
X: What are some of the rumors that you have heard about yourself?
M: Uhm. I hear stuff like I got deported. One website said I was an escort
and you could pay sixteen grand to have me for the night. I said to myself,
X: You should have called and booked yourself!
M: Yeah, I know. That would be funny.
X: What is your favorite type of sex?
M: My favorite type of sex is one on one, boy or girl
X: Who would you most like to have sex with?
M: Girls would be a toss up between Britney Spears and Gwen Stephani.
Guys- Bruce Willis!
X: He fits your qualifications. He's older, successful and intelligent.
And he has a twenty-something year old girlfriend.
M: Well I am twenty-six.
X: Does size matter?
M: Only if it is too big. Average is perfect.
X: Do you want to make a comment about the HIV outbreak?
M: It's a tragedy. I want to send my regards out to all the people affected
by it. I hope everything works out for them.
X: When this happened, did it make you think twice about what you do for
M: Yeah it did. I found out that a friend of mine had it. It is really
X: Luckily, with the medications now, you can live a normal life.
M: Yes if you stay fit and healthy you can fight it.
X: What is the wildest sex you ever had?
M: Wildest sex I've ever had, well, that's tough, but I just love it when
it's spontaneous, and you just have to have it right then and there, wherever
that may be!
X: What are some of the nice things that fans have done for you?
M: I've been given birthday/valentines gifts, flowers at signings, stuff
X: Do you have a message for your fans?
M: Yes. Thank you for supporting me. I love you all and keep watching
because there is much more to come!
Want to get in touch with Monica? Here's her direct e-mail addy Monica@
By Cindi Loftus
Exotica is the perfect name for this Latin beauty! Her long dark hair,
flawless brown skin, toned muscles, and big boobs scream sex appeal. She
also has such a gorgeous personality. She laughs easily and often. She
is a top feature dancer with the new title of Miss Nude Universe Performer
of the Year. And she is nominated for the fourth year in a row as Gentleman's
Expo's Performer of the Year. Despite her outer beauty, Exotica is still
a down home, fun to be around "normal" girl. And my dog Lexi, who won't
go near the water ran right up to the pool to be close to Exotica, but
then wouldn't you? We discuss some crazy things in this interview including
Exotica's love of animals, that she hates hairy balls and that she wouldn't
mind appearing in a porn movie! Read on. It just gets better...
Xcitement: I just saw your website. It looks great!
Exotica: Which one?
X: SpicyExotica.com. It looks really good. I learned a lot about you on
there. You don't like hairy balls,
E: (laughs) No. I hate the hairy balls. You can't go down there and suck
on anything that's got hair falling off of it.
X: Ugh. That'd be like flossing your teeth.
E: Yeah. It's terrible.
X: So does a guy have to shave his own balls or will you do it?
E: I can help him with that. I can pick 'em up and shave it off.
X: That seems like a very delicate operation.
E: If a guy will trust me enough to do it, then I will do it. I'm pretty
good at it. I've done a few balls in my life.
X: That's something I have never done. I'll have to put that on my "to
E: I think every woman should have that on her list.
X: I also saw that you really like Vin Diesel.
E: He's a hunk with the chiseled body and bald and has that thick voice.
It's not like I am only into weightlifters, but I know what kind of dedication
it takes to get that kind of body. So I appreciate that. So Vin Diesel,
X: Oh he's gorgeous.
E: Isn't he beautiful?
X: I'd rather have the Rock. I like a little bit of hair. And you also
E: Yes I collect them. I have Barbies from 1976 and up.
X: That's funny because when I first opened your home page I said to myself,
in that picture Exotica looks like a Barbie Doll.
E: Ohhh, thank you! It's a beautiful compliment.
X: They should make an Exotica doll.
E: If someone ever asked me I would model for it.
X: Have you ever molded for a toy or anything?
E: No one has ever asked me. If you know someone who would want to use
me, I'm more then happy to get molded!
X: Doc Johnson just did Mary Carey. Next they should do Exotica!
E: Sure! Show me to them. I am very popular not only with the adult industry,
but I am pretty popular with the mainstream also because of the fitness
X: Yeah all the guys can go work out and come home and play with your
E: There ya go. They'll have some motivation when they get home. Exotica
is waiting for me on the couch. I've gotta get buff and then go home and
rub her boobs!
X: He'll be thinking, I've got to go home and shave my balls and then
rub Exotica's boobs! Tell me about your clothing line.
E: I sketch and design every item in my clothing line. I pick up all the
fabric in South Beach. My mother, myself and my aunt make all the clothes.
I just started doing club wear. It's at Touch-Of-Spice.com.
X: That's a lot of work. So that's two websites you have.
E: Well there is one more. I just got a brand new website for my fitness
side. It's called ExoticaSoto.com. It's nude, topless photos. All the
top fitness models are on there. I'm starting to do a lot of fitness magazines.
I'm in Muscle Mag, Fit Beauty, Fit Body, and Muscle Development. You can
go anywhere and pick them up.
X: How often do you work out?
E: I work out four times a week no matter what state I am in. I do an
hour of cardio and weight lifting.
X: So you go find a gym wherever you are?
E: Yes I ask the hotel where the closest gym is. Sometimes you have to
pay five dollars a time, sometimes fifteen or twenty, but it's worth it.
X: How often do you get in for free because you look so good?
E: I don't!!! (Laughs) Doesn't that suck?
X: There has to be times when you get things for free because of the way
E: Well when I am not working, I look pretty average. I think I do.
X: I don't think you could!
E: Well I try! I don't wear the lashes, don't do all the makeup. Just
wear regular jeans or my work out clothes. The only thing I can't hide
is the boobs.
X: Yeah. You can't take 'em off and put 'em away.
E: No I can't put them on the shelf. But I am very average. The only thing
that would give me away that I am a dancer or a model is my boobs.
X: But when you go to a store, don't you think that you get treated differently
then I do?
E: Well I know that when I go to Wal-Mart, I will guarantee that every
person in the aisles that works there will come and ask if I need help,
and then they'll try to help me find whatever I am looking for. Even like
a pair of socks. They will walk me right to it.
X: I think you probably look better then your average Wal-Mart shopper.
E: Well the funniest thing is in my free time I like to go read so I try
to find a Barnes & Noble or Books-a-Million and pick up a fitness magazine
and go sit in a little corner and start reading. All of a sudden when
I look up twenty minutes later there are ten guys sitting around me. It's
like Holy Cow; I could've sworn this corner was empty when I got here!
X: Of course they are not reading. They are staring at you while you are
E: That's probably true!
X: You need a bodyguard!
E: That would be nice! But I don't get hassled.
X: Well your not tiny. I figure you can probably take care of yourself.
E: I'm a big girl. I got some meat on me.
X: Guys probably don't want to piss you off. Cause you could kick their
E: I do have seven brothers. I'm the baby. So I grew up with lots of men.
I'm a toughie. I had to be.
X: How does it feel to go in four years from being a secretary to being
at the top of the feature dancing game?
E: I am loving every minute of it. It feels great. All the support. I
couldn't ask for anything more. I am very happy with where I am at right
now. The business has been very good to you.
X: Have you ever made an X-rated movie?
E: No. Nobody has asked me yet.
X: Would you like to make an X-rated movie?
E: Definitely. I've never said no. If I got the right offer from the right
people and the right company. Yeah definitely I would. I'm saving myself
for the right offer. I am fresh meat. X: Do you watch porn movies?
E: I watch them all the time.
X: You are going to the Gentleman's Expo this year right?
E: Yes I am nominated again for Performer of the Year. This is my fourth
year of being nominated.
X: And you didn't win yet.
E: No. But being nominated is good.
X: Well sure it is but you don't want to be Susan Lucci!
E: Oh, you're not kidding.
X: I think she got nominated 13 times and finally won the 14th. You just
won another title too.
E: Yes I am Miss Nude Universe Performer of the Year.
X: Wow. That's impressive.
E: Every contest I've ever entered I've won.
X: Well if you win everything, can you buy me a lottery ticket?
E: Well I don't win everything. I mean competition type things.
X: What's the craziest sex you've had lately?
E: Probably in one of the strip clubs in one of the VIP rooms just getting
all nasty with everybody.
X: Everybody? E: Everybody. All the porn stars, all the features, some
dancers, everybody just went crazy. I'm not saying the name of the club.
But we got a little carried away and everybody liked it!
X: You don't have any pictures of that do you?
E: No, unless it's on a security camera.
X: Do you often go around flashing people?
E: All the time. Go back to my website. I have pictures of me flashing
in South Beach, flashing in New York, flashing at the mall. I am a big
ham. I just have a really good time.
X: Have you ever got arrested?
E: Never. I don't smoke. I don't' drink. I don't do drugs. I keep myself
pretty straight and narrow. Oh did you know that I am a groomer?
X: Grooming animals?
X: Oh so that is why you are so good at shaving hairy balls!
E: Yes that is true. If I can shave cat's and dog's balls I can shave
anybody's balls. I'm going to open my own grooming shop. It will be grooming
and daycare for pets.
X: That's perfect for you. You love animals.
E: I do love animals. It's so funny I go to some bookings and I swear
they just bring me in to groom their pets. I come in and there are five
cats sitting in my dressing room waiting for me when I get there.
X: All that pussy!
E: (laughs) I have club owners picking me up on the weekend to go do their
cats and their friend's cats. I'm like, hey wait I'm the feature.
X: That's funny. Here's a question for you, Bush or Kerry?
E: Ohhhhh politics.
X: Who would you rather vote for, and who would you rather sleep with?
E: That's tough. I don't like to get into politics.
X: Okay I'll answer for you. Whoever doesn't have hairy balls.
E: (cracks up)
X: What do you have coming up?
E: I've done a few pay per view specials. I did one called "Strip Poker"
which was all fitness models. We are playing poker hoping we don't lose
and have to take our tops off. It will be out soon. The other one is on
pay per view right now because I just watched it in my hotel room last
X: That's pretty cool that you watched yourself on TV!
E: Yeah, even though I had to pay ten dollars to see myself! That one
is called Gentleman's Club Championships. It has all the girls doing features
shows. Oh, and I'll see you soon. I am coming back down to Florida to
host The Miss Nude USA pageant when this issue comes out. And I will be
featuring the whole week too. Stop by and see me! X: Great I will! Talk
to you soon.
For Bookings or Hosting you can book direct by calling 773-315-8422 Write
to Exotica at Exotica@SpicyExotica.com Check out her three websites; SpicyExotica.com
An interview with B movie actress Glori-anne Gilbert
By Cindi Loftus Courtesy of Xcitement Magazine
Glori-anne Pronunciation: glor-E-an Function: noun 1) Physically beautiful,
Stunning 2) Accomplished, Professional, Perfected 3) Possessing great
intellect 4) Comical, Satirical, Humorous 5) Gentle, Loving, Kind
Glori-anne: BUCK!! My dog is gone. He left this morning
Cindi: Does he do that a lot?
G: He runs away once in a while. He's always been okay but I still worry
about him. (Yelling out the door) Buck! Wait there he is! Call me back.
5 minutes later
C: Hi. So is Buck all right?
G: Oh yeah. He's fine. Tick season is really bad around here. So I had
to check him for ticks and make sure he is okay. But he didn't have any.
So sorry I hung up.
C: No problem! I am glad he is back! What kind of dog is he?
G: The world's most handsome-ist yellow Labrador.
C: And he is named Buck after.
G: Bucknicula. Like Dracula. It was one of my favorite books when I was
a kid. Bucknicula, the Vampire Bunny Rabbit. So when I got my puppy, right
around the full moon, he was like a little vampire puppy, chomping on
everybody. So I named him Bucknicula.
C: So you loved vampires when you were a child. You grew up to play vampires
in movies. I think you are a vampire in real life and nobody knows about
G: (laughs) No, surely not!
C: I think you have a secret life that no one knows about.
G: Well if it keeps me from aging then I'll stick to that story.
C: So in your spare time you are drinking blood.
G: I love to suck it down, what can I say.
C: What have you been doing for fun lately?
G: I've been working all the time. Recently I came home for nine hours.
I had to unpack and repack and leave again. I like working so I've had
fun doing that. I did have my birthday party in Los Angeles. I had two
parties. I had a big Mac-Daddy suite and I had my party for my fans and
I did my vampire show. Then I had a celebrity party afterward. So some
of the people I know in Hollywood came to it. I was surprised that more
celebrity people showed up then fans did. So everyone was asking if they
could see my vampire show at that party too. So I did it for them too.
My movie " Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood" had just come out that week.
It's on DVD. I did that movie with Paul Naschy; he's the Christopher Lee
of movies in Spain.
C: Did you do a love scene with him?
G: No he was the priest. He staked me.
G: So there was penetration going on, just not the kind you'd expect!
It felt so good I had him do it to me a second time! So anyway when I
met Paul he was very nice, but he didn't speak English and I don't speak
Spanish so I think he thought my breasts could talk because he never ever
looked in my eyes. If only my breasts were bi-lingual we would have had
a nice conversation.
C: (laughs) I searched your name on the internet. You have pages and pages.
I saw a picture of you as a warrior called "The Den of Arcadia"
G: That was by Dorian. His work is sold in galleries and he has several
art books that I am in. He's painted Nina Hartley, Julie Strange. But
I was one of the first girls he ever painted.
C: Do you have copies of them?
G:Yes. He's done two paintings of me and I have a signed copy of each.
C: I also saw an indie movie site that said you were fabulous in Vamps
two. Actually it said the most professional talented and beautiful actress
G: That's nice to know that I am getting that reputation in the movie
industry. That movie is coming out as a double set, Blood Sisters Vamps
and Vamps 2 together.
C: How does it feel to walk into a store and see yourself on the box covers
of movies? G: It's really exciting because I never did men's magazine's
(covers) because I told my parents that I wouldn't. I am really pleased
that when my movie Curse of the Komodo came out on the Sci-Fi channel
that lots of my fans from strip clubs were e-mailing me. They were excited
and thrilled and couldn't wait for the DVD to come out because they wanted
to buy it. I was really surprised because I didn't think fans that liked
to watch me dance naked and be sexy on stage would be interested in seeing
me dressed in a movie for an hour and a half.
C: I loved that movie. It was great. The scenery is gorgeous. And you
were so believable as your character!
G: Thank you! I'm not the kind of person that cries in real life.
C: You did such a good job with that scene. I've seen it three times and
every time you cry I started crying.
G: Awww. I feel really flattered because the only way that, well my Dad
was a marine for twenty-two years, so I always tried to keep a stiff upper
lip. Tears to me are a sign of weakness. So the only thing in real life
that makes me cry is movies because I have such compassion for the characters.
C: I know you are like little Miss Positive all the time!
G: I know it's so pathetic. I always find the positive side of things.
I'm not one to ever feel sorry for myself. So finally I figured out that
the only thing that makes me cry is if I get hurt really bad, and what
am I supposed to do go secretly stab myself before a take? And then they'll
have to send me off to the ER. That's not gonna work. So the only other
thing that makes me cry is a really sad movie. So I pretend I am seeing
my scene as the movie and I can totally cry for my character. Because
I don't have any memories that I can think about that will make me cry.
Now sex, that's another thing. If I'm doing a hot sex scene I have plenty
of material to reflect on to get into character.
C: I'd like to hear about some of that sexual material that you have to
G: Actually I really do. I use it is some of my scenes with girls, because
I am not bisexual. It's not that girls turn me off, but neither do they
turn me on. And so my motivation to get turned on is thinking about how
turned on guys will get when they are sitting there watching it. So I
think about that.
C: So you pretend the guy is watching you do the scene on TV?
G: No I pretend that the guy is right there watching me do the scene.
I pretend the camera is the guy. That gets me really turned on because
I love to turn guys on. That's my favorite thing in the whole world. I'm
a naughty flirty girl.
C: What were you like in high school?
G: Well I am totally not in to drinking or drugs. I don't party at all.
So a lot of people thought I was totally not into sex. But I mean I think
I have gotten off every day since I was five years old. I'm such a sexual
person that featuring on stage is the most fun thing for me because I
get to pick out a sexual fantasy and act it out on stage. I think that's
why guys always stick around and watch more then one of my shows because
it's way more then just different music and different costumes. I go on
with a different sexual persona each time. I get to have pretend sex with
a whole audience because I am totally sexually revealing myself to them,
not just my body.
C: So what do you do after you do four sexy shows and then go back to
the lonely hotel room by yourself at 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning?
G: Well usually it's kinda depressing.
C: Do you have a handy dandy toy collection?
G: Yeah and actually, I know it sounds bad, but I don't like TV so I never
watch it. When I am in the room I take the batteries out of the remote
and use them to power my toys. It's a little hotel bonus.
C: So everybody who has the room after you has a remote that doesn't work
G: Well I hate to think that. But if a guy goes to a hotel and his remote
control's batteries are weak he might be sleeping in the same bed as I
C: Well any guy that goes to a hotel and finds the batteries in the remote
missing is going to be too busy fantasizing about you to watch TV anyway.
G: No, I put the batteries back in before I leave! They may be a bit drained.
C: Well I went through so much stuff about you on the web and actually
like 99 percent of it is positive and true. Which is weird because usually
there is a bunch of negativity and gossip. And then rumors that aren't
G: I guess I am lucky about that then.
C: Have you ever read anything about yourself that was like, really wrong?
G: I read one site that said I was five foot five and half, with the wrong
measurements. It was a picture of me, but with a different girl's name.
So someone scanned my picture off the Internet. That's the only thing
I have ever seen that is an untrue thing.
C: Wow, that's tame! You are lucky no one ever had you married off to
someone or said you were in jail or suing someone.
G: Naw. I'm a good girl.
C: I know you are. You are a goody two-shoes.
G: I am. I don't drink. I don't smoke. But I am into sex. Who needs drugs
and alcohol if you have a great sex life?
C: That's true!
G: Oh I wanted to tell you, I just shot a movie last month with Stormy
C: Really? She was on the cover in January. She's really nice.
G: I saw it. She's great. She's got the most hilarious sense of humor.
So I had a good time. The movie is called "Witches of Breastwick." It's
a Skinimax thriller. Stormy did a great job in it. She is actually one
of the best actors I've ever worked with. I also did a movie called "Busty
C: I remember you telling me about that you weren't sure which role you
wanted to do, cop or villain.
G: I ended up playing the new cop on the block. Hannah Harper was in it
with me. I came up with my name, BJ Hooker. Then I have one more movie
that is going to come out on Sci-Fi channel called "It Lives Down Below"
So that is my first sci-fi movie.
C: Are you an alien?
G: Yes I am. An alien who has temporarily taken human form. It was pretty
cool. The guy character has a crush on a model so they took my pictures
and put them in his locker. So I am an alien that takes the form of his
C: That sounds cool. I believe in aliens and ghosts. You are superstitious
C: You believe in full moons and ghosts. You love Halloween.
G: True. The cabin I stayed in for one of my movies was haunted.
C: Really? What happened?
G: Oh my Gosh. In the middle of the night every night at a round 3 am
something weird would happen. It was really creepy. Things were moving.
Pieces of paper that nobody could find would suddenly be on the table
first thing in the morning. There was a sled hanging up on the wall and
it was rocking. I went and put my hand on it and my hand started rocking
with it. I couldn't get the sled to stop rocking.
C: That's scary! I want to hear something sexy. Tell me about a naked
love scene you've done lately.
G: I did a few in the last couple movies. I did a threesome with me, Stormy
and Julie Smith. I did a couple love scenes with a guy. I don't do a lot
of love scenes with guys. When I do a love scene with a girl I have to
work so hard to make sure it's a hot sex scene. I imagine guys are watching
and how much it will turn my fans on. When I do a love scene with a guy
I have to be really careful because I get so into it, I hate to say it,
but I could just f-ck the guy. Ya know what I mean? I get so excited and
it's really kinky because if the guy is really good looking that's not
the kind of guy that I'm usually attracted to. But yet when it's time
to do a love scene with them, because it's a guy, it's still enough to
get me all turned on. And the whole time I have to make sure I don't start
f-cking the guy for real or something. I did a scene also with Scott Styles.
I am glad that I didn't really get to talk to him or get to know him before
I did my love scene with him. Because actually he's a really intelligent
guy who used to work for NASA.
C: I know him. He's a porn star and used to be a rocket scientist.
G: I like smart guys. So he really turned me on after. During the scene
I just got turned on because he was a guy. But after I got to know him,
he turned me on intellectually. So I was like, thank God I don't' have
to do anymore love scenes with him. Then he asked me if I wanted to get
together and I wanted to say YES! But of course I didn't. So in my mind
I was like, I know what I will be thinking about when I get home tonight!
It also turned me on because he is the only guy I've ever done a love
scene with that didn't get a hard on. Guys are not supposed to if they
C: How can they not?
G: Well most girls that I've talked to say guys never do. But every guy
I've been with has. I thinking it's because I am seriously so into it,
that is why it happens. But when I did my scene with Scott he did not
get a hard on. I was wishing that I could have him somewhere where I could
do a lap dance for him and maybe get a hard on so I could feel it, so
I can imagine it. Cause that's the hot thing about when you do a lap dance
with a guy is even though you will never actually do them, you get a good
feel for what it would be like. I didn't even get that out of Scott. But
I do love my job. I get paid to make out and pretend to have sex with
guys! People wonder why I like to work all the time, this is why! How
can I resist. I love men!
C: Why don't you have Glori-anne blow up doll for your fans?
G: (laughs) It wouldn't be the same.
C: I know it wouldn't, but think of the marketability!
G: Before I had a blow up doll made of me, I'd want to watch a guy with
a blow up doll first. Do they have movies that show that?
C: I don't know. I've never seen one. But I have a blow up doll! She lives
in my bedroom all ready to go! I put underwear on her though because everything
was all pink and hanging out.
G: I wonder, while you are on it does it's legs flay up and kick you in
the ass the whole time? How does a guy replace being with a woman?
C: I don't know but feel free to try her out next time you come over or
borrow her to come to your hotel room with your remote control batteries!
G: Cindi you know I'm not into women!
C: You can pretend you are a guy and see what happens. It would all be
in the name of scientific research.
G: That's so funny.
C: Do you think they make male blow up dolls?
G: I don't know. But who needs the rest of them?
C: True, a dildo is all we really need. Speaking of that I've got a whole
closet full of stuff.
G: Like what kind of stuff?
C: Dildos and vibrators and sleeves and gels and massagers, all different
colors and sizes and speeds and glow in the dark.
G: Really! That sounds like fun. Actually my vibrator broke the other
day. It's called Sweetest Erotica, it's like a little one with a ball
at the end that you can use in a couple of ways. But I guess I used it
C: You wore it out, even with new batteries. How big is it?
G: Like the size of your ring finger, and it has a high and low speed.
I like to tease myself and pretend it's a guy.
C: So do you talk dirty to yourself while you are having sex with yourself?
G: I don't need to say it out loud but I totally think it! After you've
been on the rode along for three weeks you have these conversations with
your self. "Come on, can't you be friends with yourself?" "I'm tired.
Do you really have to have sex?" Yes I have to!" "Come on it's 4 am you
worked all day" " I know but have to!"
C: That sounds like an evil twin thing coming out!
G: Well I am a Gemini. And in a movie I just did I play twins; I have
blonde hair for one and brown hair for one. But I can't go a day without
C: So you have sex everyday, you work out on stage almost everyday, you
eat healthy, and you don't drink or smoke. You are positive and happy
all the time. So what keeps you going? Good hormones?
G: When you cum all the time you have a reason to have a smile on your
face. I can also do fire breathing which a boyfriend from India taught
me. So you can make yourself cum just by a breathing technique that you
do. So I can be standing in line and everybody else is irritated and I'll
just make myself cum. That's why I don't mind waiting in line. Everyone
says how can you be smiling while you are waiting in line? I say I just
like to be positive.
C: You are so much fun! Is there anything else you want to mention?
G: Well I really like coming down to South Florida in August because it
is so hot that I don't wear any panties. I like to wear long flowing dresses
with nothing underneath. Then I like going around at nighttime and feeling
the breeze blowing up my dress. I'll be down there in Pompano featuring
at the Cheetah in August
C: Great! We'll have to go out to lunch at our favorite restaurant! I
am sure all the people that work at Sweet Tomatoes are going to look forward
to your visit now that they know you won't be wearing any panties!
Editors note-You can write to Glori-anne at her personal e-mail GloriGilbert@yahoo.com.
My Ex-Wife Found My Blog
She writes: A friend
of mine found this blog and said it was you. I can't believe it, you
miserable scumbag. For those of you who might be considering hooking
up with this guy, a little bit of background. My name is Linda, and
I was married to him twelve years ago. Not for a long time, but long
enough. Yes, he was pretty (then), but he never worked a day in the
time we were together. Never. Would not clean the house, help out with
the kid, nothing. Luke always plead that he had some sort of illness,
which as far as I could tell, is otherwise called "laziness." Oh, he
wrote, and he wrote, about what he would never say. But I had to hold
down two jobs then while he "wrote." What a dick you are Luke. Still
playing that old con. You still owe me money, and you know exactly what
for. I'd take him to court, but he has nothing to take. And that was
the plan all along, right? Well guess what, the moment I hear that you
have anything, I'm coming and collecting it.
Helpful writes: Yet another woman pissed off because she couldn't turn
a gay man straight. The flames were practically leaping off of him and
you married him? Your vagina ain't magic, honey. Wise up!
Porn Publicist's To-Do List
. Finish packing up boxes of review copies for press. This means gathering
all the art and model releases that go along with every title, which
is no small feat.
. Finish press releases about the sequel to Blue Angels in addition
to one on the new direction of Simon Wolf Productions.
. Finish press releases for Seymore Butts on The British Are Cumming,
and a top secret project that I can't announce until everyone signs
off on the press release.
. Put together some bio information on Cousin Stevie for another top
secret project we're working on.
. Get motoring on the press kit materials.
. Visit Michael Ninn's set today, once this afternoon and once this
evening, not only to accompany press but to also write my own on-set
for High Society.
. Finish press releases on Suze Randall's latest classic release, Suze's
Centerfolds 1 & 2.
. Send out and monitor a release for Playboy TV.
. Take AVN's international superstar porn journalist Stephen Ochs to
Connie Lynn Hair
There's a controversial U.S. House race in North Carolina with highly
charged accusations being hurled back and forth by extremely conservative
candidates. One of those candidates has hired a campaign managers who
some believe has a questionable past. The woman's name is Connie Lynn
Hair. She's 44 years old now. Among her old legit movies were Death Wish
4 and Fake-Out, both circa 1982. Did she do anything more racy?
Lockwood Takes The High Road On Porn Star Feuds
Porn stud Kurt Lockwood writes:
These are the normal things people go thru everywhere with boyfriend
/girlfriend relationships ending and beginning everyday. It not some
"BIG STORY," it's just common human emotions which as everyone who has
ever been in any kind of serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship knows
aren't always that easy or cut and dried and it's very, very difficult
to please everyone, especially in these circumstances, y'know? By the
way, why "Sports Swarthy" or anybody else would even give a f-ck about
my personal life or anyone else's other than their own (or at least
real J.Lo celebrities, I mean, c'mon) is not only so stupid but seems
like a complete and utter waste of time.
Do you really have nothing better to do than to hate and talk smack
about people's personal relationships that have absolutely nothing to
do with you at all? There's always two sides to every story (and sometimes
more) but who the f-ck cares? It's so boring. There's a war going on,
people. We should have some perspective about what really matters here.
Haters who wanna hate should either get a life or go on with the one
they have which after all is I'm sure is just as compicated and yes,
sometimes messy. And I'm sure we can all agree that nobody's perfect,
right? And isn't there something about "Those is glass houses..." and
"Let he who is without sin cast the first..." and so on? And as far
as "Sports Salami" starting to "despise" me...>YAWN< Well, just throw
him on the pile with the rest of the KURT LOCKWOOD HATERS, y'know?
Whatever. I'll be his, or whoever else's "Erich Von Stroheim" ("the
man you love to hate") of porn, if that's what gets them through the
night. But I just can't make this clear enough. It...just...doesn't...matter.
He and anybody else who want to waste their precious time on this Earth
hating on me don't affect my life one way or the other or influence
any of the decisions I make or who I am one bit so he's just wasting
his time and energy. He's thinking about me I'm not thinking about him.
I'm just trying to live and enjoy life the best I can, and yes, I sometimes
make mistakes just like everybody else has a thousand times. Nothing
new or exciting. Hey, I'm human, excuse the f-ck out of me. I don't
know, maybe he should stop worrying about me so much and pick an easier
target. Somebody who gives a f-ck, haha... As for a response, I have
nothing bad to say about anybody and I'm not gonna... And that's the
high road for ya...
Porn Star Feud
stars Katja Kassin, Melissa Lauren, Jayna Osso mix it up on AdultDVDTalk.
Katja Kassin writes: "Melissa: not all Americans are stupid, dumb,
fat and boring. Jayna is a smart and intelligent girl and as far as I
know she does not eat at McDonalds."
Bridgette Kerkove writes: "I have hired, and absolutely love Melissa-no
one should TRY to make up something bad about her. She is beautiful, very
professional(not stoned out of her mind),loves to f-ck,is bubbly and fun
to have on the set! My last movie I shot her in 'SKIN' she was breathtakingly
beautiful....My comments have NOTHING to do with Jayna-I'm simply sticking
up for Melissa. If, or why they are fighting-I don't know."
Katja Kassin writes: "In an upcoming "Down the Hatch" (this can
be seen in the behind the scenes section of Diabolicxxx.com) Melissa refers
to Americans in a very derogatory manner. See for yourself."
Melissa Lauren [from France] replies:
Katja, that was part of Chico Wang's "script" for the scene. I had
to do it. And by the way, Brian Surewood, who i was working with, called
me a "froggy", and other names too. We still loved each other at the
end of the scene. You really have no humour. Or you really hate me.
Maybe i m not patriotic or whatever. But i am franc and honest, i don
t attack people on internet boards, i do it directly. But i prefer wait
to see you to discuss it, i don t want to risk a banning from here.
It doesn t worth it.
Jayna Oso writes:
Hi Melitha, Please don't threaten Katja like that anymore! This thread
began as a suggested,"scene concept", then others began putting money
down on either you or me. Then Katja simply said that she'd put her
money down on me because I'm patriotic and then YOU came at her HasTily
saying "What s the relation between a sex competition and being patriotic.
Did I miss something?".... As IF you didn't know(FAKER)-->This statement
is FAKE! because you know as well as Katja and I and anyone else who
has seen the video clip, of you laughing and conversing FREELY with
Wanker about how much you HATE AMERICANS!, that you really did make
such derogatory statements about 'US'....how could you not expect AMericans,(your
fans and co-workers, may I remind you), not to have a problem with YOU,
now. I don't understand your confused behavior, why must you hide your
true feelings now that you have been put on the 'dart-board' infront
of ALL to see.
Director Chico Wang writes:
In the scene, I asked Brian Surewood to be vehemently anti-French (which
he is not) and Melissa to be vehemently anti-American (which she is
not). The funny thing is, I ask for these things to create conflict
which I learned in film school. Maybe in porno it's about creating the
same scenario over and over again. But in film, every storyline has
a conflict. Melissa was more than willing to follow my instructions
as was Brian Surewood who was more than willing to talk about a 'frog
eating, horse chomping slut'. If anything, if you take all this sh-t
seriously, then it's absolutely my fault. C'mon. I think alot of your
opinions are due to any animosities you have against Melissa and you
guys are looking for anything to badger her against. I kept this scene
quiet. How did you find out? Like I tell everyone, don't worry about
others. Worry about your own sh-t. You will be a healthier person. I
love you Katja and Jayna. Don't sweat what shouldn't be made public.
And this is me, dumbass fool, talking.
DoronD from Anabolic writes: "I was on set when the shananigans
took place. For anyone to claim that Melissa is anti-American by what
went on during the shoot is simply insane."
Changes Come to Luke
Grim facts of life that Amalek has been hollering into my ear:
1. Blogging is useful only if you are already successful and merely want
a cheap sort of vanity press with which to reach your assumed public.
2. Women shy away from poor 38 year old white men who live below the
poverty line for illegals from Mexico.
3. Nothing materially beneficial will come to me from my groveling activities.
4. No decent woman is going to respond favorably to a blog request for
5. I am comfortable in my existence, hence, change is not likely. I will
die as I live.
Looking at this list, what is there for me to do, except change something?
I will begin by bringing this wife blogging to a halt. Instead, my energies
will be redirected to venues where I have a much better chance of hooking
up with desirable or at least useful people, and that is working to defeat
George Bush this November. Every sexually desirable woman I know is opposed
to Bush, so maybe I need to rethink my position on his presidency.
After all, it's not as though this man gives a crap about me or my problems.
He won't stanch the flow of illegals from Mexico with whom I must compete
for even the most menial jobs; he won't do anything to stem the flow of
jobs to Mexico, India, China and elsewhere; he has grossly inflated the
national budget deficit by cutting taxes on the rich, just to make life
easier for people like him; the trade deficit has ballooned on his watch;
he refuses to police our borders as they must be policed. What was I thinking
in supporting that clown in the first place?
He isn't all bad. I don't view him as anti-Christ (obviously). But even
where I support him, as in the war against Islam, he has made some major
blunders, like going into Iraq, the one place where al Qeada wasn't, and
committing us to spend hundreds of billions of dollars to bring the blessings
of democracy to a bunch of muslim Arabs. All while I live in my hovel,
and taxes are lowered on the richest Americans (which includes landlords
like my good friend Cathy, who is an honest-to-God millionaire like most
of her neighbors in Silver Lake).
If you think I was hard on the pimps in the porn industry you haven't
seen what the real Luke can do. Hold on to your yarmulkees and your sheitels
- it's going to be a bumpy ride.
A letter from the producers of EroticaFest
Helmy writes on GFY:
The EroticaFest concept initially started as a medium sized event which
soon grew into a monster, both as far as entertainment elements go and
cost of production (MTV's Alien Ant Farm, Carmen Electra's Naked Women's
Wrestling League, Poet of Black Eyed Peas, Mansion the grandest venue
in Miami etc.)
In order to make this event a success for all attendees and sponsors,
the GigaCash team, the producers of this event (not XBiz) seeked additional
sponsorships in order to cover increase in production costs - with a
condition that this was to be communicated to all sponsors for their
Communication issues do arise in business, and may have reared their
head in this case. Lisa, Chris, Bugbee and entire GigaCash team have
nothing but the best intentions for their sponsors as well as the webmaster
community - without them such events just wouldn't be possible - and
any miscommunication was certainly not intentional.
Our mission with all past & future events is equal exposure to each
and every sponsor (one level only) and we are confident that we have
delivered - not to mention that our sponsorship packages carry a satisfaction
guarantee. We have and always will offer to reimburse any sponsor who
is not 101% happy with their marketing investment. I can always be reached
direct at: replies AT helmy D0T com
Porn Peformers Arrested in Mexico
Mexico City - The Mexico Erotic Festival kicked off its first year
with the kind of event organizers sincerely hope doesn't become an annual
tradition: the arrest of five participants during the show on Friday,
According to a report released by the Festival, Nacho Vidal, Rita Faltoyano,
Katsumi, Claudia Clair and Jane Darling were expelled from the country
and fined approximately $3600 in U.S. dollars for matters related to
doing business on tourist visas. Local law enforcement officials responded
to an anonymous tip by picking up the group, telling them their presence
was needed to clear up a routine bureaucratic matter. The organizers
claim the group was then held for 27 hours in lice-infested quarters
without food or usable bedding, wearing only the clothing they had on
at the time they were picked up.
Porn Blogs Manipulate Google
Wired.com: When Google bought blogging software pioneer Blogger last
year, it probably didn't expect that its new technology would be used
to goose the page rankings of porn sites.
But that's exactly what's happening, as an outfit called CyberQuest
has recently set up a few dozen cross-linked, porn-themed Blogspot blogs
(powered by Blogger), all of which link to three of its for-profit porn
sites. According to a couple of experienced bloggers, the purpose behind
the cross-linking strategy is to artificially raise the Google rankings
of the three porn sites.
Said John d'Addario, the editor of Gawker Media's porn-themed gossip
blog, Fleshbot. "It's clever. You have to give them that. And it's another
example of porn folk being sort of ahead of the curve when it comes
to technology and marketing."
Should Bridgette Monroe Get Her Breasts Done Bigger?
writes: Go to my poll and vote yes or no. The question is should I
get my breasts done bigger? I really wanna know what you think.
The Agonies Of Creativity
Alice Dax took D.H. Lawrence's virginity. "I gave Bert sex. I had to.
He was over at our house, struggling with a poem he couldn't finish, so
I took him upstairs and gave him sex. He came downstairs and finished
What I love about literary biographer Jeffrey Meyers is that he usually
sticks lots of sex in his books.
Anna Malle And Her Mom Are Doing Great
Anna Malle and her Mother are doing great. She has been in LA working
on a mainstream project and she is just now getting back to work.
Anna asked me to let everyone know that she is doing great and that
she is back to work and available for our hobby. Anna won't be on tour
for at least a couple of months, due to this project, but she is available
in Las Vegas and in LA. Anna is in good health and looking forward to
start touring in the Fall.
Anna is only checking her e-mail about once a week as her days in LA
are very long. Regarding her mainstreem project, Anna is portraying
herself in the film. It's a real easy role for her, if you know what
I mean. lol!
For those interested and that have been patient to get one of the best
performers in the circuit, you can e-mail Anna @ AnnaMalleXXX.Com
Kevin Blatt Had A Good Weekend
KB: "I hooked up with a stripper."
"How did you meet her?"
KB: "At a strip club."
"How did you get her to go home with you?"
KB: "She was all over me. She was just attracted to me. She loved
feeling my aura."
KB: "I don't know, man. I just had it all working for me. I ended
up banging her four times. I left her place at 7 a.m. She lives in the
gayest area. I walk outside and the gay pride parade was going on. Half
a million fags walking up and down the street."
Dr. Luke Talks To Men About Sex
I got an email: "Hey - you're a fella who's had to balance the lures
of the 'outside world' with the strictures of frumkeit - and you opted
in! I'm just now (at age 35) finding out what my more rebellious friends
discovered in their late teens and early 20s - that easy girls are easy
to find, that naughty flirting and drinks and dancing with gentile coworkers
can be a blast, and that nobody gives a sh-t if you're married or not.
What's the best way for me to avoid exploring that world too thoroughly
and find peace and contentment at home, with the wife and kids? Got any
insight for me?"
Watch the movie Carnal
Knowledge, read my memoir,
Confessions of a Toxic Bachelor, and such about the meaningless of
promiscuity and vacousness and soul-sucking nature of its pursuit...and
you might find some inner peace on these matters.
Anon writes: More practical advice follows. Know this - if you have casual
sex with these women, you are very likely to contract at least herpes
and venereal warts, which you will pass on to your wife. Have you thought
through how you are going to handle matters when she breaks out in sores
that she cannot account for? And don't think that condoms will protect
you. Used properly, they neither cover everything that can cause infection
nor everything that can be infected. And they break, slip off, are used
improperly, etc. Keep your focus on venereal disease, the consequences
of bringing STDs into the marital bed, and you will be less likely to
stray in your marriage. More fundamentally, do you really have to work
with gentiles? Maybe a more yeshivish lifestyle is called for?
Jason Tucker Married Gail Harris This Weekend
I don't think she converted to Judaism though.
Pulling Myself Up By My Sandal Straps
I'm done with this, I think. The time has come for me to turn over a
new leaf, and given the lateness of the season for me, I think what I
must do is turn over thousands of new leafs, all at once. And you can
help me. I need a leaf blower and other garden utensils to place in my
van. My new business, "White Boy Lawn Care," will position itself by appealing
both to Anglo racists who fear the Mexican, and Mexican Americans who
might get a big kick out of treating a white man like some wetback just
over the Rio Grande. This job will pay me money, which I am sorely in
need of, and it will make me known for something other than my pitiful
blogging. And it is outdoors, which is good both for me and for my community,
which thinks Jews don't do manual labor. Well, I will, and I'm Jewish.
So please, if you see my truck in your neighborhood, don't hesitate to
stop by and say hello.
My Hovel Can be a Safe Place for You
In these uncertain times of orange alerts and warnings of al Qeada operatives
driving into the United States with all manner of truck bombs, it is good
to know that there remain some places not on their target list. Like my
hovel. Intelligence sources confirm that at no time has Islam contemplated
driving a U-Haul loaded with five tons of fertilizer and motor oil into
the world HQ of Luke Enterprises. So women, take this into consideration:
my hovel can be a safe haven for you in troubled times.
Luke Need an Intervention?
It's not the first time that someone has tried this on Luke. (In a previous
existence, when I used the internet to engage in Lashon Horah, a crazed
fan went so far as to attempt this. This person got nowhere.) Once again,
voices inside my head are being heard that say Luke must be saved from
himself, much as George Bush felt he needed to intervene to save the Iraqi
people from their arab ruler Saddam. I ask this voice, "what form might
such an intervention take, and to what end?" Here are some of his suggestions.
1. Beat Luke with sticks until he admits poverty.
2. Deny him entry into every Jewish institution in Los Angeles until
he gets a job. The only excuse a Jew can truly have for not working is
that he spends his days in the study of the Talmud, which Luke clearly
has not been doing.
3. Offer him the inducement of sexual favors in exchange for honest labor.
4. Send him emails from sexually desirable women suggesting that perhaps
they would be willing to get it on with Luke, if only he had a real job.
5. Shame him in public as only the public can.
6. Deny him access to free food for a distance of 60 miles in every direction
from the LFP building.
7. Cut his internet cable, seize his computer.
8. Send him to camp. Migrant labor worker camp.
9. Force-feed him some fish and beef and chicken. His crazy goyishe eating
habits have utterly sapped him of the will to succeed.
10. Paint inappropriate slogans on his van.
It couldn't start the worst way the first Mexico Erotic Festival that
has taken place in Mexico D.F. these lasts days. The arrest, apparently
totally irregular, of some of the guest artists, has spoiled what was
expected to be a great event to approach sex, eroticism and porn to
the people of this country. Last Friday the 30th of July, Nacho Vidal,
Rita Faltoyano, Katsumi, Claudia Claire and Jane Darling, were arrested
by the police officers during the Festival. Although at first they were
just required to go with the officers to solve a bureaucratic procedure,
truth is that once in the police premises; they held them incommunicado
even without the opportunity to talk with any lawyer or duty solicitor.
Situation has become almost surrealist, so they were arrested under
no other accusation than being carrying out lucrative activities when
they were supposed to have entered the country with a tourist entry
visa. Spanish actor and the actresses were under arrest for 27 hours¡
At the end, all of them, that were handed to Mexico by IFG, have been
expelled out of Mexico and charged with a fine of 3000 euros, but, in
addition they all had to sign a document stating they left the country
absolutely of their own free will.
Festival and Spanish company managers' irritation, is obviously as
you can imagine, enormous. Salvador Diago, IFG's president has declared
that they weren't allowed to take clothes or any kind of food to the
actresses that were wearing only a thong. "They have been infested with
lice, herpes and even slept on the floor," he said. México is, curiously,
one of the markets IFG is lately taking most into consideration.
Ross Runs Into Lynn LeMay At XCon
Lemay after all these years is still busting my balls. Back in the
Eighties, Lemay was dancing at a men's club in Lower Bucks County [Philadelphia]
and I was supposed to see her that night only to stop off at a nearby
7-Eleven. And I got lucky. I met this girl who came back to my place...
LeMay sued AVN in the 1990s I believe. I guess it wasn't an article that
Gene had written. When I last ran into her, in July 2000 at the FSC Dinner
Dance, she put her hands around my neck to gently choke me. Yet she makes
out with Gene. Shows where I am in the porn journalism hierarchy.
The irony of Internet sexuality
Mark Adkins writes on RAME:
I went online trying to find something that should be easy to locate,
given the supposed obsession with sex attributed to American society
in general and the Internet subset in particular.
Not to put too fine a point on it, I wanted photos, or preferably videos
-- viewable online rather than for purchase, and viewable without entering
credit card info or filling out a membership application -- of adult
females' facial expressions as they had real orgasms. Not jaded porn
actors faking them on commercial sites, but items posted either by amateur
enthusiasts or even by clinical sites engages in academic research on
the topic. (I'm not obsessed with the topic, by the way, I just had
Well, I spent an hour, with no luck. I also tried to find full-body
images of women having real orgasms, but no luck with that either, given
similar requirements. It should be a simple requirement: nothing too
exotic, just women experiencing the intense pleasure of orgasm. No gross,
weird, crapola. But guess what? No luck. Why is Internet "erotica" so
unerotic and inaccessible, if there exists such an appetite for it?
BTW, I searched using Google, which seems to be an admirable search
engine in many applications, so I can't attribute the problem to it.
Becca writes: "Pictures of your neighbors having orgasms, for free
of course. The nitwit factor here has certainly increased since the mods
left. Who in their right mind would post a picture of their wife/girlfiend
having sex? For free? Why is it always the "real orgasm" crowd that just
doesn't get it?"
to Steal: When the Mafia Hit Wall Street
Kelly Productions Boiler
What are the similarities here? What are the differences?
Book Pimpin' Ain't Easy
It appears that the sales of my autobiography, XXX-Communicated:
A Rebel Without a Shul, have inexplicably tapered off (four copies
were sold in June, two in hardcover, for total royalties of $11:76, zero
copies of The
Producers sold that month) and just when sales were on that critical
cusp of going from a few dozen to several dozen sold.
To date no major media outlet has opted to run any of my witty press
releases or dashing head shots. Even aljazeera.net has passed on my offer
for an exclusive interview. Perhaps the dust jacket is a tad plain or
maybe I just need some crackerjack testimonials to pimp ... er, promote
Dear readers, if my humble tome has touched your lives in any positive
way won't you please write a few lines of praise to help a brother Jew
I await your glowing endorsements.
Thats some sucken stats there, I think you need an agent Luke. If anyone
in Hollywood with proper intelligence saw and read what you have covered
over the last 5 years in this f-cken business they would quickly realise
your a goldmine to exploit. Maybe your not breakin off the correct percentage
for any agents that might take you?
Wait I got a better idea. Hows your screen play writing? I mean I guess
the big bucks are in the screen plays and scripts or somthing ask the
lady wrote Harry Potter or even ask Ann Rice. Move into story telling.
PS: ialien LLC is now official. Unfortunatly I wont be hiring any Americans.
They are to picky and expect to much. Trust me I know. I am an American.
Jacobs Writing, Producing Play 'LA Stories'
Award-winning porn screenwriter
and journalist Rodger Jacobs aka Martin Brimmer is producing a play. He
It's based on my collection of L.A. Stories shorts. I'm assembling
a cast now and will look for a venue soon. I'll probably be doing it
as a charity production, most likely for Project Angel Food, as a two-to-four
day preview in late September, early October. Once we have our charity
in place we'll be needing an Angel - fund-raising parlance, as you know,
for an investor - to help defray small costs, just a few thousand, tax
deductible, so if you know of anyone let me know. Here's the foreword
to the play:
This collection of short stories adapted for the stage represents
a tangential trip into the mind of a Los Angeles writer - which is
not to imply that the inner and exterior life of a left coast scribe
is any different from that of, say, a New York writer with one obvious
exception: geography does indeed shape and inform the writer's work.
A casual glance through these tales reveals one glaring and deliberate
omission: gone are the references to earthquakes, mud slides, brush
fires, congested freeways, celebrity murder trials, psychoanalysis,
the Chateau Marmont, male hustlers on Santa Monica Boulevard, and
all the other subjects that tend to preoccupy writers of L.A. regional
fiction. What we get here instead are credit dentists, celebrity stalkers,
Oklahoma transplants, unhinged actresses, disaffected bartenders,
fast food restaurant poltergeists, Iranian porn stars, Shannen Doherty
on a good day, and scrap metal thieves, among others.
The stories contained in this body of work are slice-of-life melodramas
that, for the most part, could have occurred in any city on any continent
in the world. They just happen to have occurred in L.A. because that's
where I live. Some of the tales are completely autobiographical, others
are expansions of strange episodes I either read about in the newspaper
or in the daily crime blotter of the Los Angeles Police Department.
In the words of Randy Newman, I Love L.A.
Why doesn't Visa institute peer-to-peer transaction capability?
writes on GFY:
Why doesn't Visa institute peer-to-peer transaction capability? Why
doesn't MasterCard? Amex?
The internet is like a giant yard sale which only sort of has cash.
I'm having trouble with my PayPal account, even though I only use it
to sell nonadult advertising. A delightful competitor of mine has apparently
been on a reporting spree. Even though PayPal can not find one single
example of a violation -- because there are none -- my account is most
likely going to be closed.
I think, with their install base, PayPal should be subject to the same
scrutiny and regulation as banks. I know they have their recent chump
change settlement deal. I don't think $50 is going to cover the thousands
I lost in rebills when they closed my biz account after hand-selling
me their subscription solution. But whatever.
I don't really want to patronize a company which strikes me as crooked.
But it is not really feasible to convince other people to get accounts
with epassporte, given its fee structure and incomprehensible business
account system. I posted here and a couple of other places a while ago
looking for epassporte endorsements and not one single person posted
to say they had a business account and liked it.
I'm still mulling over getting a merchant account and epassporte to
make sales, but I am stumped on how to buy stuff from other people.
And my nonadult business will really suffer if I can't buy anything
from businesses which sell with PayPal.
I think all I am really trying to say here is ARGH! But why don't the
credit card companies eat PayPal's pie? I understand adult may be high
risk, but the net is chock full of people who would prefer not to use
PayPal but do not see another option.
Asia Carrera Turning 31 August 6th
She writes on Asiacarrera.com:
Ugh, it's almost my birthday again. I'm turning 31 years old on the
6th. Blech!! I wish I could start lying about my age, but you all know
how old I am already, so what's the point?? LOL! (I've always wondered
how Hollywood celebs managed to keep shaving years off their age without
anyone catching on - do they start lying from their very first appearance
onscreen or what??) Well, I won't complain too much, 'cause being pregnant
has not only put enough pounds on me that I've got chubby cheeks like
I did when I was 18, but my skin's even breaking out like it did when
I was 15! So I feel more like an awkward teenager than anything else
right now! One of my fans asked what I wanted for my birthday this year,
and if I'd set up a baby registry online yet. The thought hadn't even
occured to me, but it sounded like a pretty good idea (thanks!!) so
I went over to Amazon.com and set one up. So for my birthday (and Xmas!)
instead of getting ME anything this year, please feel free to pop over
to my Baby
Registry and pick out a gift for my little one instead!
hat tip to JimmyD for pointing
"I expected to get AIDS. but Pink Eye?"
"Her problems come from child molestation: She can't figure out why
she wasn't molested; wasn't she pretty enough?"
"I'll suck off anyone that will take me to Carls Jr's"
"I am so bored that I am looking for things I can stick in my ass and
take pics of to send to my friends."
"I was there for 20 minutes and no one offered me drugs so I got pissed
"They treat girls like eggs-- They use up the insides and throw the
empty shells aside." (Ashley Blue said this one today!)
"Hell, in this business somebody is going to take advantage of you.
Why not us?"
I Miss Jettis Already
writes on GFY:
Yesterday I emailed Paycom regarding the changes. No Reply. Today a
number of our backup sales through jettis had no access. I email jettis
support desk. They inform me that Paycom is now handling all support.
So i email Paycom. Once, Twice, Three Times now. 8 hours. Still no reply.
Great Customer Service. Time to pull all our join links. I'm not going
to be pushing my sales to the first of the big three that will be going
down. I miss Jettis and i miss Jennifer Maddux's fast replies.
But no reply from an email yesterday? No reply to a support question
in 8 hours today? That's weak. I've heard alot of people tell me the
same thing about Paycom. From what I've heard the support staff are
a bunch of idiots. That's customer and tech.
Paul Markham writes:
I've been waiting 7 months for them to get approval for us with Visa,
don't get nothing from them to tell me why or what. That kind of support
sucks and if I have to phone them so they can earn 15% out of my processing
they can... Will give them a verbal bashing when I see them in Miami.
Hib96 writes: "I used to be with Epoch 5 years ago, a lot of these
problems were there than and at that time they were also not giving people's
reserves back, at that time I left to go to Jettis, it seems with Jettis
selling our databases, we have come full circle."
Mike Hawk writes: "We will be cascading with CCbill, Paycom, Net
Billing, Electra Cash, Dialers, Ibill and many others to improve our sales."
I would never post before tending to members. The members' problems
were rectified long before the post. To make sure this doesn't happen
again we removed Jettis from our Join option (this was also done before
we posted here). Our members come before everything. Anybody who has
dealt with us knows that. Our 0.20% Chargeback rate confirms that.
I agree the Jettis reserves are a problem. It has had us worried for
well over a year. I've had multiple phone conversations with jettis
regarding our reserves and they all led to nothing. Not one dime. I
think it was obvious to anyone using Jettis that the day they would
no longer be a 3rd party processor was around the corner.
I also agree that Jettis did not look after all their clients equally.
I'm sure they took good care of the Nasty Dollars crew, but when it
came to other clients like us and yourself we were pretty much ignored
at shows. I remember Sleazy introducing me to Ken Lawson last year.
He introduce me as a webmaster that processes with Jettis. Ken's response?
"Thanks for making me money. " He laughed and walked off. He acted like
a real prick. And all those around me couldn't believe it. We've been
phasing Jettis out since that day. So thanks to that meeting this move
doesn't hurt us one bit. Thanks Ken .
Rand at Epoch writes:
:: EPOCH TECH SUPPORT IS THERE FOR YOU :: 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week, and 365 days a year. Just like your business.
Forgive the dust, temporarily, while we integrate each and every new
site that has come from Jettis. Take comfort in the fact that this entire
undertaking took place with no interruption in processing, no changes
to ratios or conversions, and without a single one of Jettis' IPSP clients
doing a single thing. I personally think *that alone* speaks volumes
about Epoch's tech support as well as the excellent planning of Ken
and Kjell and the rest of the crew at Jettis.
I was once the "only" person in client services. Then I headed the
department. Now, there is an entire staff headed by two amazing men
24/7 that is there for your needs. Yes, this is a busy time for us and
the dust will settle soon. And, yes, you should get and deserve to get
a response to every single inquiry to Epoch within 24 hours. In fact,
we strive to respond to every single email within one hour. Be sure
you are using the correct address which is firstname.lastname@example.org
or email@example.com (they both go to the same place). Include enough
information to identify your account and provide a phone number we can
call should the need arise.
If you don't get a response to anything you need within 24 hours, please
resend your request and CC me and I can assure you of a speedy reply.
Epoch has done everything in our power along with the help of the Jettis
team to insure a painless migration to our services including full Visa
registration paid for by Epoch. There was absolutely no interruption
in service when the switch was flipped and sales continue to look completely
normal according to both Epoch and Jettis.
Epoch has always done what was best for your business and ours. Our
vision has always been to focus on the long term. We are here for you
and we will respond to your requests, and even your criticisms. We are
a service organization and our goal is to be the best processor on the
planet. That may sound hokey, but it's true.
The largest programs in this business process with us for a reason.
We deliver, we stand by our word, and we play by the rules.
Ken Lawson from Jettis writes:
Regarding Jettis reserves. Jettis has always mirrored our various banks
in terms of reserve holdbacks and releases. Now that we are out of the
IPSP business, client reserves will be released from our banks and in
turn released to our clients. Jettis will be sending out a letter to
all clients explaining this process in the coming weeks. The good news
here is that most of our old clients will be getting reserve releases,
but will have no new reserves held by Paycom due to their "zero reserve
policy". This means increased cash flow to many of you!
This is simply false. Anyone who knows me or has done business with
me (including Sleazy) knows that's not my style. I've always treated
everyone in this business (big or small) the same. I'm sorry if you
walked away from meeting me with a bad impression, but I said nothing
even close to what you stated above. That's now how I think and certainly
not how I act.
Regardless, we chose Paycom to service our clients on a going forward
basis for very good reasons. They are clearly the industry leaders,
they have a very good management team (Chris, Clay and Joel) and they
have set up an amazing organization. In our opinion, Paycom is here
for the long run and brings much needed stability to an industry that
As Rand posted above, Paycom is prepared to help you with any issues
or questions you might have. Having said that, Kjell and I continue
to be here to help any of our old clients with their new Paycom relationship.
You can always e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com and we will
assist you in dealing with any concerns or questions you might have.
My advice to anyone who has concerns would be to give Paycom a little
time. They are working around the clock to deal with a large influx
of new clients, etc. Given the magnitude of this transition, I think
they are handling it very well, with very few problems.
Wanker Wang Analyzes Porn Economics For LF.com
If you look at the every new issue of AVN, you see brand new companies
popping out like microwaved popcorn only to be chewed up and spit out
within months. Egos run rampant in this business with directors, talent,
agencies, graphic artists all thinking they're responsible for their
sales. Most may have a point but the sad reality is that overall, this
is a game about money driven by consumer demand and smart business practices.