Sunday, August 1, 2004

Email Luke Archives Photos Stars XXX-Communicated The Producers July 26

A Brief Chat With Bruce David, Mark Cromer

Bruce David is the editor-in-chief of Hustler Magazine. Mark Cromer (with credits in The Los Angeles Times, Nation Magazine, etc) is his features editor.

Bruce appears prominently in Larry Flynt's autobiography and is part of a composite role in the movie made about Larry. David has known Flynt since about 1975.

I've heard that Larry removed the previous Hustler editor Allan MacDonnell in 2003 because of derogatory remarks Allan made about Larry at a Friars' roast. Allan is now finishing off a memoir of his LFP days to be published next year by Feral House.

I first met Bruce David and Mark Cromer at the pool of the Universal Hilton during the World Pornography Conference on August 6, 1998. It was late on a Friday afternoon. We sat with Al Goldstein, publisher of Screw, and his girlfriend Rose Robbins, his corporate counsel. We all had a long good chat.

I'd heard Mark hated me and I was defensive. The first thing I said to him was, 'I heard you hate me.' He was amused. He was also jazzed about meeting Vanessa Del Rio in the gift shop. He wanted to compliment her on her enormous clit but he didn't think it was appropriate and so he said nothing on that score.

Mark did a 1998 cover story for LA Weekly called "The Last Ride" about the industry's HIV problem (five tested positive that year). Max Hardcore was on the cover. Mark later did a story for the Weekly on Tony Montana's testing HIV positive. Then, in 2001, he did a long piece for the Nation magazine (an intellectual weekly on the Left) on the Bush administration's planned war on porn and the Cambria List response.

We did a conference call late Tuesday afternoon. I called Bruce first. I wondered why all negative references to them on the Mike Albo-written site Adult Stars News.com suddenly disappeared today.

Bruce and Mark called me back. They said they couldn't say much about Albo.

I wanted to know why Bruce and Mark didn't move against Mike a lot earlier. He'd been bagging on them for months.

Bruce: "We'd like to talk to you but we don't want to say anything right now other than, more to come."

Mark: "In the immortal words of Pierre Trudeau (former prime minister of Canada) when he declared marshall law and destroyed his opposition [he did?], and was asked, how far are you prepared to go? He said, watch me!"

Duke: "You guys have been taking a pounding for a long time."

Mark: "I was unaware of it until recently. I guess that was the case."

Bruce: "Once we became aware of this, we started..."

Mark: "To do what was necessary."

Duke: "I was amazed it only happened today."

Bruce: "We weren't aware of it for a significant amount of time because nobody reads Albo's site. It was juvenile prattle."

Mark: "When I went through it, I can't say I was horrified. It was Mark on Gilligan's Island. It was like something that could've been done in seventh or eighth grade."

Duke: "It was going on a camping trip and seeing 'Bruce David is a retard' carved into a tree."

They chuckle.

Bruce: "I didn't see that one."

Mark: "We did what we had to do and we have other things pending."

Duke: "How's everything with Hustler Magazine?"

Bruce: "It's a vast improvement over what the previous editor was doing. It now has material you might want to read after you finish jerking off. It has a lot more journalism and I hope it is a lot more entertaining and a lot more fun.

"The magazine my predecessor did was boring and predictable, everything from art direction to editorial content. There were two articles in every issue. Now we have five or six."

Mark: "The reason you are going to have a lot more journalism in the book is because Bruce is at the helm now."

Bruce: "Mark is my lieutenant. He has extensive contacts in the journalist community."

Duke: "Mark, why did you come on board as features editor?"

Mark: "Because the opportunity to work with my friend Bruce David was not something I wanted to pass up. He's got Greg Palast in the book now. He's got interviews with Chris Hitchens. Hustler is going back to its journalistic roots when it had a certain cachet."

Former Hustler features editor David Buchbinder, last I knew, was reporting from Afghanistan for such outlets as the Christian Science Monitor.

Duke: "What are some stories we can look for in forthcoming issues of Hustler?"

Mark: "We have an interview with Pulitzer Prize-winning author David K. Johnston. Also, an expose of the last year of Wu-Tang Clan [hip hop group that reshaped the genre]. Their last album is due out this year."

Bruce: "We're adding a lot of fun sex stuff. We have an artist named Gourd who ties women to cars. That will be a photo feature in an upcoming issue. The whole idea is to surprise and entertain and engage the reader."

Duke: "Any reaction in newsstand sales yet?"

Bruce: "When my predecessor was running things, sales were sinking. They were sinking so rapidly that Larry felt he had to terminate him. Now sales have levelled off and we're seeing an uptick. It took a while but you have to signal people that things have changed. The previous editor poisoned the well. It took a while to signal the readers to come back."

I remember a false report in the New York Post about six months ago that Bruce was going to be fired from Hustler.

From Swapsale.com:

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XXXScribe writes:

Dearest Duke:

I read, with a bitter chuckle, your item regarding Bruce David's efforts to dictate the contents of AdultStarsNews. How odd and pathetic that Hustler, a magazine that ceaselessly touts itself as a beacon for Free Speech, should be helmed by a clown with such jackboot leanings.

I further notice that the October 2004 Hustler, currently on the stands, deems Disney CEO Michael Eisner Asshole of the Month for attempting to quash Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11. This commentary is further bolstered by a parody cartoon on the same subject. I wonder how it is that Mr. David is able to delude himself into believing that his tactics are are substantially different from Eisner's. Certainly, Bruce is a far cry from spring chickendom at this point, but presumably he at has at least a couple of years before full-bore senility kicks in.

Your interview with David and Mark Cromer was equally guffaw-worthy, particularly Cromer's macho bluster about destroying one's enemies and puffery about his vast journalistic experience. If Cromer is such a tough guy with such solid credentials, one has to wonder why he continually needs to hitch his star to whatever soon-to-fail wagon Bruce is commandeering. Rather than an uptick in sales, once can only anticipate that Hustler will soon go the way of Jail Babes, Brown Sugar and other David-led, Cromer-abetted flops. Cromer should lay off the chest-thumping and stick to his primary task: namely, keeping his facial hair neatly trimmed so that Mr. David's rectum doesn't get too scratched up.

But, back to the original matter. A protest is being organized, to take place sometime next week in front of the Flynt Building at Wilshire and La Cienega, in order to voice public outrage over Mr. David's hypocritical thuggery. Anyone who is concerned about the current state of Free Speech in America is strongly encouraged to attend. Further details to come, as the specifics are firmed up.

Take care for now, Duke.

Some of My Keen Observations

My varied life brings me into contact with a broad spectrum of humanity, as I meld my Christian upbringing's emphasis on evangelical deeds with my current Jewish beliefs in attempting to bring the Good News of the Oral Law to the ignorant of the world. And in that capacity of true cosmopolitan, I've made enough observations to warrant the following generalizations:

1. Lesbians are not as attractive as heterosexual women. Yes, I know that there are exceptions, but in the main this is true.

2. People who are into really weird, kinky stuff are not as hot looking as those who are into more mainstream activities. BDSM folks especially, don't have it going on.

3. Most people wish they were white, especially the kind of white that is naturally blonde and tall. Witness all the people of color who die their hair blonde.

4. American Jews are not as attractive a race as Northern Europeans or Israelis. American Jewish women eat too much for their own good. (As do American Christian women, for that matter.)

5. Black people have an easier time of keeping time to music than do white men.

6. Most Arabs and Muslims do not treasure Israel as much as the Zionist lobby expects us all to.

7. Feminists are usually pretty miserable.

8. Women who own cats do so because they cannot find and hold onto a man.

9. Career gals are usually especially miserable; what they want is a man and family, not a career.

10. Most good sex is had by a minority of men, who monopolize the best women. We may not have legal polygamy in this country, but in fact, we do have informal polygamy, which disadvantages lower status men like me.

That's all for now. Have I left anything out?

Nina Hartley On Traci Lords Special

I got to watch the Dateline story on Traci Lords. I must say, it was very balanced. It was one of the best stories on this topic yet done by the prime-time, regular-tv media. As I mentioned in the forum section about this, Traci totally copped to the fact that she was a damaged, angry, acting-out teenager, which is what I've believed about her all along. I believe Jim South is too cheap to buy anyone drugs or alcohol, so she may be fudging on that part.

Nina Hartley Wants To Shrink Her Uterus

Nina writes on Nina.com:

So, after clearing my schedule for three weeks, I was ready to undergo an uncomfortable, if not downright painful, procedure to shrink my uterus, which is larger than it should be due to a common condition among women: uterine fibroids. I arranged with my doctor to undergo a procedure called uterine fibroid embolization, whereby a substance is used to occlude the uterine ateries, which will starve the tumors, thereby shrinking them. I knew it would be painful, but, as a model, I really wanted my abdomen to be flatter.

Will Xpays Sue Dollars.com?

Brad Shaw writes on JBM: "Claiming they have a patent on the "technology." Geez, Xpays was sure revolutionary. Rick, I would love to depose Evan. I just went through depos this week, and it is amazing what they can ask. Good thing, my closet is clean."

TBabe writes: "I just wish someone would sue xpays into setting up a decent stats system."

Wired Guy writes: "What exactly does XPays have a patent on? I couldn't find any patents issued to XPays from the USPTO, do you happen to have the patent number or the name of the assignee to do a search on?"

Rick Latona from Dollars.com writes: "We haven't seen a lawsuit. Not one from them, anyway.

"He's on my ass for sure. He's had a lock on the market. Any webmaster who wanted a built in banner management system had to go through him. He's taken 10 dollars a join and only paid them 30 for the service. In Dollars.com the webmaster still gets 40 because the relationship is between the webmaster and the advertiser. We are just an exchange. He's scared."

Kevin Blatt posts:

I'd sign up for http://www.hotelheiress.com through XPAYS. After today's interview with Chris Connelly from 20/20 I know it will convert like a motherf-cker. I was there and coached Rick on what to say- Sign up today, and have your links working by Sept- It will be an unreal month for traffic- Paris Hilton style.

I was told they will be using excerpts from my previous 20/20 http://www.marketingfirm.com/kbmedia.wmv

The show will be called "Caught In The Act" it's a special on video tape and being caught in the act of sex, stealing, car wrecks etc.... It's hosted by Chris Connelly as well. He did the piece I was featured in above.

Of course Rick and I will be featured in the celebrity sex tape area. Great interview today, but more impressive was the hotel we did it in- L'Hermitage in Beverly Hills. I have to say I have stayed in some nice hotels in LA- The Four Seasons, the W, Mondrian , Standard, Beverly Regent. This hotel was hip and classy- I'd love to stay there in the future. VERY EXPENSIVE.

Fallout From The Paycom/Jettis Deal

Alex writes on GFY: "Nothing like just paying $750.00 to Jettis and never processing one transaction with them only for this to happen. Let me guess....Jettis never knew this deal was in the works or was even closed prior to companies shelling over 750.00 within the last couple of months."

Banan Gets Sick Call on Jeremy Story

Steve Banan posts:

I released an article last week about the beheading of my friend Ron Jeremy. I guess some people really took it to the max. First and foremost, my best friend and business partner Ron Jeremy is very much alive and well.

Secondly, I have known, been a fan and a close friend of Ron Jeremy since 1977. In no way would I ever maliciously harm or dishonor him. He is absolutely one of the nicest and caring men; I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

I don't normally do this, but in this case, it's just a need to know. I received on my voice mail a very disgusting and hurtful message. I discussed this matter with Ron Jeremy and most assuredly, in my opinion, this person is very sick and most definitely needs help. Therefore, I am offering a cash reward for anyone who could recognizes and definitely identify the person who left this message on my voice mail to me and members of my family. http://www.thelibertynetwork.tv/voice-mail.htm

If you know who this person is, please email me. sbanan@thevine.net I assure you that this will be handled properly and anonymously. If the person would like to step up to the plate and identify himself that would also be fantastic.

I don't think I want any more "friends" in this business

AaronM writes on GFY:

To me, a friend is somebody you trust. Somebody who will not stab you in the back or create some sort of negative vibe around your name. Somebody who will always be there for you and you for them.

It seems that occasionally some of the people in this business, who I usually greatly respect and value my friendships with, decide to do the very things that represent anything but friendship.

In this industry, we tend to mix business with pleasure. Perhaps that contributes to this problem.

Darren Blatt aka D$ writes: "You're one of the few people out there I consider a friend, though we don't talk or hang often enough since you live in the sticks. And you're the only guest that can show up at my door unannounced, as you do from time to time. Anyway, the people who don't hit you up for anything are using the real friends."

Mutt writes: "My dad told me this long long ago. people throw the word 'friend' around way too liberally. you are lucky to have at most 3 true friends outside of your family if u have a close family. the rest are associates, buddies, the guys/girls - their world would stop for about 30 seconds if you got run over by a bus, seen it many times."

Tam writes:

1)A friend to me is someone who stands BESIDE me, not behind me.
2)Someone who stands strong more so in bad times than in good, THAT is when you know the level of their true friendship. Being there in good times is easy, but when things get tough, that's the true test.
3)Someone you can confide in without thought or hesitation.

Ibill vs CCBill.....The Main Event

Project Naked writes on GFY: "Which processor is the right choice for a paysite, (my paysite!). CCbill seems cheaper but IBill seems more known? CCbill doesn't do tangibles, (merchandise) and IBill does. Which one has a better reputation, easier interface, better affiliate, better customer service, and BEST LUBE, (as I notice they both like to ram you!), etc..."

Shvartz Like Me?

I recently finished John Howard Griffin's 1964 expose on racism, Black Like Me. As my learned readers know, Mr. Griffin, a white man, describes his experiences during his travels through the American South all the while disguised as a Negro. Interestingly enough, he did not score with any white chicks during his entire charade.

How the times have changed. His book gives me a possible idea for a new book. Maybe I should update Griffin's premise and live as an urban Negro? My insights could help finally build a bridge between the Orthodox and Black communities. I am intrigued, but a nagging question remains .... Could I even pass as a schvartze?

Anon writes: Luke? Pass as a black? Let me see ... He has a gun. He loves white p*ssy. He has no job. Hell, he qualifies as a NAACP member already.

JimmyD writes: "I think you're sort of on to something, but you're missing the obvious. You should write a book called, "Jew Like Me." After all, you've already spent considerable time passing yourself off as a Jew. Now you can publish those experiences from a Gentile's perspective. Plus, I doubt you've scored too many more white chics than John Howard Griffin did while posing as a black man. That's probably another thing you guys have in common."

Steve Banan, Mike Albo Together Again

Mike Albo writes on Adult Stars News: "With his usual flare for not-so-subtle digs at those who've offended him and his always entertaining spelling and punctuation, Liberty Network's Steve Banan is alleging that bisexual, transvestite and gay male vendors will not be welcome at Sunday's X-Con 2 show. Well, we've all got a right to our own opinions. Here's what we received from Steve..."

Is X-Con Discriminating Against Non-Heterosexuals?

Posted by Steve Banan

Los Angeles, CA. July 29, 2004 -- The Liberty Network has received many different story's from many different sources that Sundays X-Con 2 show is closed to all non-heterosexual vendors, excluding bi-sexual porn stars.

I can believe this, due in fact that Layla Jade has bared my wife adult actress Nicole Moore and me from attending or being a vendor for the second year in a row. Last evening on an Internet based radio show http://www.KSEXradio.com, she stated something to the fact; the reason was she did not want any of the attendees to be fooled into believing that transsexuals and gays were really girls.

I have personally placed several call this morning to my friends at The Stern Show and I hope that she tells the same story to Howard Stern tomorrow morning. We will just see what Howard has to say about this one. If this is, true and transvestites and gay men are bared from having booths at the show. This is most definitely discrimination and Layla Jade should once again feel ashamed.

This country of ours was born in 1776, given laws and rights and if Laya Jade, a non-resident of the United States of America, without a Visa, illegally in this country, feels she has the right to re-right the laws of the Constitution of the United States of America, then I am so disgusted with this girl and chocked up. I am just going to stop right here and puke. This is Steve Banan for The Liberty Network...Blahhhhhhhhhh...Ecckkkkk.

Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?

Captain Carmen writes on Frumsex:

This is a question that was posed on Nerve.com's "Sex Advice From..." series yesterday. "Once a cheater, always a cheater: True or false."

Almost all the people interviewed said it was true.

But could you be a little more specific when you say, "It wasn't the same?" What do you mean? Do you not trust one another as much? Or do you have better sex as a result? Or less-frequent sex? Or what?

I know of one woman who left her husband after she found out he'd been cheating. She used to let him go out to strip clubs and go out with his buddies and travel around for business whenever, and she never questioned his activities - she was the cool wife.

But now, she's got a long-term boyfriend, and she keeps him on a much tighter leash. She's not as permissive, because she knows the dangers lurking out there that can tempt a man away from his happy home.

So even relationships that occur *after* one of the parties cheated can be different.

Luke in Boyle Heights - his hidden work on behalf of legal Mexican immigrants

...[W]hen Presidente Bush gave Mr. Ford this "Points of Light" award, Luke said to him. "Mr. President, you have it wrong. I'm not teaching them, they're teaching me."

Aboriginee Porn

A friend told me this week that Aboriginees are the ugliest people on the planet. I could not disagree. But when he argued there was no "Aboriginee porn" or "Aboriginal porn" on the Internet, I knew he was wrong. Today I Googled both terms and my friend is right. There is no such thing on the Net. Must be racism.

Fletch writes on GFY: "Aborigines do not have sex. That is why. They unlike most humans on the planet, spawn from holes in the ground, so they do not shoot porn of themselves."

Enema writes: "On the plus side you could pay the content girls in glue and/or white out."

Shelly Crash writes: "Content producers dropped the niche when national geographic ruined the market."

Ben writes:

We've often thought of it. There are plenty around on the north coast.... There are a number of things that turn you off the idea tho... First there really aren't that many good looking girls. Most have diabetes and are quite large (traditional diet includes lots of nuts and not the same fats), very few look after their skin or blow their nose for that matter. There are some very hot girls tho... Quite rare...

Second it's a really close knit community and you would expect it to get back to their cousins, uncles, brothers, sisters, pops, grans, etc etc. Some of which would in a drunken rage drive a car full of cousins from the reserves anywhere they thought there would be a fight. If you live somewhere where aboriginals live then chances are it's too small a place to go messing with it.

Third there is no market for it.... Unlike the US where black girls are considered to be sex machines.... here.... well apart from the cultural divide there is a lot of angst on both sides still and it will be many years before intermarriage becomes more common. In Australia we have a lot of different issues compared to the US situation. Here there were a lot of massacres and the government policy all through the years has been designed to f-ck them over.... The law fights against the government and so you end up with whites losing land and such... So there are plenty of pissed off people on all sides.

Kitty writes:

It is ONLY legal to shoot content in ACT and Tasmania. You CAN sell porn to another Australian - in fact the government even want you to charge GST on it if you do. You can host Softcore on an aussie server but no hardcore (anything with penetration).

Blow My Didgeridoo

Many of you have seen the movie Rabbit-Proof Fence (2002) about half-caste Aboriginee children who were kidnapped from their Abo parents and educated to act like whites.

My story is similar but opposite. Before I was nine months old, Aboriginees stole me from my Christian family and raised me in captivity in the outback where I learned to play the didgeridoo.

This afternoon I will be blowing my didgeridoo on the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica to raise money so I can afford a wife. Please drop a quarter in my cup.

If you'd like, you can blow my didgeridoo too.

IBill Reverse Merger

WiredGuy writes on JBM: "Seems nobody wants to own ibill for more than a few months."

Brad Shaw writes: "Ibill is a dinosaur. Only decent bills left are ccbill and epoch."

Michael Sperber writes: "No offense, but you guys don't seem to know how to read business releases. This is not a cash sale, this is a reverse merger that will help stock listings and increase their value. It's a stock deal, and it's all good for Penthouse, Ibill and Care concepts. Again, no offence, but I'm just wondering if any of you have ever dealt with large public business deals at all."

Cerpacol writes: "We work in Porn, so do you. Get off the trip."

Care Concepts I, Inc. Enters into an Agreement to Acquire Internet Billing Company,``iBill'', from Penthouse International for $55 Million

POMPANO BEACH, Fla. & NEW YORK--(BUSINESS WIRE)--July 30, 2004--Care Concepts I, Inc. (AMEX:IBD), a media and marketing holding company, announced today it has entered into an agreement to acquire 100% of Media Billing, LLC and Internet Billing Company(R) (collectively "iBill") from Penthouse International (Pink Sheets:PHSL).

iBill provides online payment technologies enabling the purchase and sale of content and other downloadable services over the Internet. iBill was established in 1996 and has generated positive operating income since inception. iBill has maintained profit margins by focusing on adult entertainment content, the dominant paid content category for many years. Currently, approximately 78% of its revenues are from adult entertainment content. More recently, the company has focused on various growing Internet content categories such as online subscriptions, music, dating and video games and is implementing an expansion into categories like online travel and online auctions.

"With the acquisition of iBill providing added flexibility and synergy to our auction operations, we will continue to expand efficiencies between our radio and online auction site," said Gary Spaniak, Jr., Care Concept's president. "Similar to the combination of PayPal and eBay (Nasdaq:EBAY), the acquisition of iBill provides our auction operations with an exciting strategic solution to vertically integrate online payment services into an auction environment."

Epoch Has No Problems With Cross-Sells

Chris Mallick, Epoch CEO, writes on GFY:

In this business you are either over or under thresholds, created by some arbitrary reasoning. We are below 1%, WELL below. That means that even in a marketplace where Visa and MC admit 80% of chargebacks and credits are from "friendly fraud" (we have never understood to whom the fraud is friendly) we are below their thresholds.

So where is the risk if 99.5% of all consumers we (and you) sell to are happy? There is none, as long as the overal risk management is being watched, constantly. I bet that there are not many businesses in the world that can boast those kinds of numbers. When I was in the nightclub business the chargebacks were a higher percentage! So cross sells and the like are not the problems IPSP's or you as a webmaster may face; In fact, there is no problem!

P1mpgdog writes on GFY to Ron Cadwell, CEO of bestiality-processing CCBill.com: "hey ron.. remember last year i called kimmy kim a c u n t and you shut down my ccbill account.. but I am back with ccbill again as my seciondary processor.. glad you like me now."

Two Attacks On Director John Bowen

From James DiGiorgio.

From DCypher, about a meeting with John Bowen and his girlfriend Justine:

During a nice chat, John laid out the details of the shoot, explaining that she would go alone to Brazil with a publicist, that I was not welcome, ca va, and the nature of the girl girl only scenes she would shoot there. The pay was below substandard but the selling point was the free vacation she would get there, alone, in a tropical paradise. I was not thrilled with it all, and tried to remind Justine that some in the past expressed having difficulties with John when it came time to get paid, and that she might want to make arrangements with him before going. Justine was enthusiastic, all fired up by the prospect of more travel, and told him that she would do it.

But Did You Have Sex?

I was supposed to get together this week with a friend and his girlfriend. But her father started dying on us, so it did not come off.

GF was going to stay at the hospital as it appeared her dad would kick the bucket any moment. My friend had to rush over with an air mattress. I thought that was sick as I imagined the two of them coupling on the floor in front of the dying man.

The next day, my friend emails that the father died. He gives further heartwrenching details.

I respond in as sympathetic and comforting a manner as I can muster: "Yeah, yeah, but did you guys have sex on the air mattress beside his dead body?"

The Glory Of The Jewish Woman Lies On The Inside

By Alana for the 7/30/04 Forward:

Last week, I caused a bit of a storm with an interview I gave to a journalist named Luke..., who is writing a book on Jewish journalism. During the interview, Ford asked me professional questions about arts coverage in Jewish publications, as well as my personal views on religion. Since I was raised in a Modern Orthodox home, most of these questions centered on whether study and interest in the arts are properly cultivated in Orthodox communities.

Curiously, Ford took a detour to ask about my observance of the laws of tzniut, or modesty, which in many Orthodox circles are interpreted as requiring women to wear skirts that cover their knees and shirts that do not reveal their collarbones or elbows. I'm still not sure how or why the interview went in this direction, but it did. I was quoted as saying:

"If I go into a shul, I'm going to be dressed appropriately. But I walk around in pants and shorts. I feel like modesty is more about your character than about what you wear.... There are ways that you can cheapen yourself, and make people feel that you are usable in any number of ways - professionally, emotionally, psychologically, sexually. That is what I mean by immodest."

The remark provoked a flurry of responses on Ford's Web site, including this particularly pugilistic post:

"I would submit that someone who [substitutes] their own definition of modesty and tznius in place of and instead of the definition offered by Chazal (ancient rabbinic sages) presumes that they know [m]ore than Chazal. Moreover, the fact that Ms. Newhouse supposedly developed her mind at Barnard illustrates the danger in allowing the average child to attend and dorm in an environment shaped by post Modernism, MTV and multiculturalism. The average [Modern Orthodox high school] grad can't handle the shock to their values."

Original Alana Interview.

Princess writes: "Luke is this Alana's answer to my question whethher her definition of modesty allows premarital sex? It seems that she opposes the fact that the rabbis speak out against premarital sex. Does this mean in her liberal view of MO it is OK? And no one should mention that the halacha forbids it?"

I think that is her answer. That society, and the Jewish community, should not worry about protecting feminine virginity -- intellectual and sexual. I must disagree. First, I will set aside the question of Jewish Law in answering. Everybody knows that Jewish Law holds that men and women are fundamentally different, with different responsibilities, that they should be given different educations, and that the glory of the woman lies within (in the home she creates with her husband and children). I agree with Jewish Law but I won't invoke it in my response to Alana's column.

Second. Civilization must hold women to a different sexual standard than it holds men if it is to survive. Men must know who their biological children are or most men won't stick around to help raise them and support them and their mother. This is also why civilization must stigmatize, if not, in some instances, criminalize, all forms of sexual expression outside of heterosexual marriage, including masturbation, hookers, pre-marital sex, homosexuality and pornography.

Third. The most important question for any civilization is what do you do with them. Men are the instable part of the equation. As far as religion goes, you must reserve certain rituals for men only or men will drop out of the religion. For society, you must allow men to gather alone with other men (such as was the case in service clubs). Once you start allowing women in, men will drop out. Men do not like to compete with women. Once women pour into a field, it loses its appeal to men.

Fourth. Look at the disaster created by women, particularly Jewish women, pursuing higher education. They are not getting pregnant and having babies. While Muslims and and blacks and Hispanics are pouring out babies, many of them out of wedlock, whites and Jews are not reproducing at a replacement rate. Europe is doomed and America is threatened. If you think an America that is increasingly Hispanic and increasingly populated by out-of-wedlock children will be an America friendly to Israel and the Jews, you are naive. If you think the world is going to be a better place because Europe is dying (not reproducing) and must import Muslim immigrant laborers from Second and Third World countries, you are naive.

These problems are largely caused by modern feminism and this suicidal push for "equality" in the workplace and university, so that women get graduade degrees instead of children within marriage and men, who don't like to compete with women, get alienated from polite society, and have to go to stripclubs to bond with other men.

Does this mean that I think it is automatically wrong for women to take leadership roles in society and politics and religion? No way. Women of merit should succeed according to the level of their abilities. See Margaret Thatcher and the prophetesses in the Bible. I just think we should stop propagandizing women that what really counts is graduate degrees and professional success rather than marriage and children. I also think that we should end all anti-discrimination laws so that Jews and blacks and men can choose to live with and associate with and hire and fire who they want.

Jewish women would do well to learn from the examples of their asian sisters who rarely contradict and demean their men in public, and let their man feel like he is in charge. They still control him, but they exercise this control discretely. Also, many Asian women, as well as many Persian women I know, seem to genuinely enjoy cooking and cleaning, and these are loves that we should be cultivating in Jewish girls.

Carly Milne Does Night of the Stars

I was taking Kitty Lotus - the yoga teacher whose rack's realism I questioned - as my date. It was her first official foray into porn partydom. I wondered if she'd ever speak to me again after the night was through.

Hot! Sex! Live! Frum!

Visitors trolling for casual sex on Craigslist.org last week were left scratching their heads over an unfamiliar reference that has surfaced in a flurry of recent postings.

"I keep seeing this term 'Frum.' Can somebody please clue me into what the hell that is?" wrote Jeff, a 30-year-old regular on the site.

Luke's Dream Woman

I think you need a nice daddy for your little one, Carrie [Fisher], and a husband for yourself... someone to take care of hearth and home when you're locked in the writing trailer on the set. Someone like... Luke. He'll never be a threat to you intellectually, and from reading his blah-g, he'll be grateful for the quarterly nookie you, as a half-J.A.P., will condescend to allow him.

Bedazzled writes: "Just what every woman wants: A penniless, vagina-fearing converted Orthodox Jew obsessed with pornography, a picture of his mother the only decoration in the garage where he sleeps on the floor, a car that fits the police files m.o. of rapists and stalkers. Ever see the (underrated) movie Malice? Like shooting fish in a barrel."

Hirsch writes Luke: Trend lines down....income down....dating down..... You need a makeover. First of all, let's start with your "blog." You shouldn't have one, because it cheapens your brand name. (Every yutz has a blog these days.) Get yourself a real website, and find some other means of doing the permalink thingy. And - this is controversial, I know - consider collecting all of your internet activities under one roof: this blog, wife blog, religion, entertainment, politics, the works. Your efforts have become too diffuse of late, making this a less compelling read. Oh, and try to get Chaim Amalek to appear more often.

What John Kerry Can Teach Duke Floored

John Kerry has married twice; Duke Floored, not even once. And each time, John Kerry has hooked up with a staggeringly rich women. Duke lives in a hovel. I want you, John Kerry (and I know for a fact that you read this blog), to teach me how to find a rich broad and get her to marry me.

Shomer Negiya By Default

I sit and ponder my recent dearth of female contact and cannot help but wonder if this is all just part of G*d's divine plan for me.

Am I being forced into the lifestyle of Shomer Negiya (the traditional Jewish custom of not touching a member of the opposite sex before marriage) as part of a divine plan that will lead to my hotly anticipated marriage?

I think, yes!

If I Were Black, I'd Be Rich

There, I said it.

Anon writes: "Not only would you be rich, but sexy white chicks would be all over your black ass. Been to the Beverly Center lately? All the hot young ones are being squired about (and presumeably rogered) by darkies."

Convention Highlights

I've been somewhat remiss in blogging about this convention and its highlights. I would have to say that for me, the highlight thus far has been watching the darkies dance with the white folks. I look forward to watching them sway together, arm-in-arm, before the evening is over.

Why Am I So Hard?

There are times when, without the benefit of medication, I get a raging stiffy.

I have a friend "Katy," who invariably argues me out of them. She says they're not rational. I should be attracted to that other young community college woman. She's stupid, dopey and schlumpy. And by the end of Katy's harangue, I'm no longer hard.

How can we stop lining the pockets of AVN?

Brad Shaw writes on JBM: "AVN does nothing to support our business, never have. They only care about video, and themselves. Many people are still lining their pockets.

"We have a small booth [at the Florida Internext]. I would rather split it with about 10 companies for Vegas though. If it was up to me, I would not do a booth. But, people would miss our pizza and the central meeting place to get for the pizza.eople should wake up, and stop making them rich."

Romeo writes: AVN = The Man? I thought it would never happen in this biz.. I thinks it's time we overthrow the Man.

Drinking Hard writes:

I tell you the amount of money I have spent on my booth is retarded! It just keeps adding up and up! Plus the amount of hassle and bullsh-t is insurmountable! F

AVN shares our information with their "trusted suppliers" and we keep getting calls and e-mails from people trying to sell us sh-t.

Paycom/Epoch Buys Out Jettis

I know that about 18 months ago, Epoch/Paycom was holding back millions of dollars in payments to the biggest players. There was a long thread on this on GFY. People were complaining about not getting paid.

Paycom.net, LLC, a California based Internet Payment Service Provider ("IPSP"), announced today that it has completed the acquisition of certain credit card processing contracts from Jettis, Inc., another California based IPSP. The privately held companies did not disclose the details of the transaction. However, both company's officers commented on the transaction.

SleazyDream writes on GFY: "This looks like a good move - size matters when dealing with visa, and jettis and paycom together will have a better voice to represent the industry as a whole which is in all our interests."

Ken Lawson, Jettis CEO writes:

Paycom specializes in the IPSP (third party) business and we feel they are the best in the industry at what they do. This is why we choose to trust them to service our valued IPSP clients on a going forward basis. Jettis has always had a large portfolio of "gateway" clients whom we will continue to service. In addition, Jettis has experienced rapid growth in it's ACH division over the past year.

Due to some very strategic relationships and innovative technology, we have very big plans for our ACH business both in adult and mainstream. Our ACH and gateway business units will become a major focus for us.

Clay from Epoch/Paycom writes:

Yes we need for you to change your links. We have a temporary solution in place to transfer joins from Jettis join forms to Paycom. But this is only temporary.

Common Paycom/Jettis Clients - Please remove your links to Jettis Join forms and only use Paycom Join Form Links, this will obviously bypass the temporary solution. Once this is done you will not need to do anything else.

Jettis Clients New to Paycom - You will need to obtain your join form link information from our support staff. Replace your current Jettis links with Paycom links.

If you want to use our flexpost interface you can obtain the API from support. Please emaiil support@paycom.net with your company name and site information. Support will also be able to provide you with your account login information.

Adonis writes: "How about EU clients of Jettis? Paycom doesn't accept EU clients."

Shap writes: "What really sucks is that webmasters that wanted to use epoch would be using them. There is a reason we never used them and don't want to use them."

Chris Mallick (the guy who had his employee Kimmy Kim sitting on his lap a convention or two ago), CEO of Epoch, writes: "We recommend CCBill to anyone looking for a back up processor. They are good people."

XBizLori writes: "For added scoop."

Ken Lawson replies: "XbizLori, Wow....you guys don't waste any time! However, you might want to double check your cut and paste. You've got the wrong people quoting the wrong things in your version of our joint statement."

Dax writes: "I remember a post a while back that because of the new visa regs.. members could not be transfered.. what happens to our members now? How come before one could not transfer them and now is possible?"

Shap writes on GFY: "Another one bites the dust. At least jettis had a graceful exit and were able to leave on a good note. The fact remains there is now one less processor and that's bad for all of us."

KJell writes from Jettis: With respect to EU processing, Jettis has not supported EU clients on Visa for a long time. However, those clients that are "Visa disabled" (accepting only MasterCard and Discover) will continue uninterrupted.

Clay writes from Epoch: Epoch paid the VISA registration fees on behalf of all Jettis customers who were not already registered with Epoch.

Scoreman writes:

Fewer processors means fewer choices for webmasters, site owners and less competition. Competition is one of the best factors for improving the quality of service. VISA and Mastercard have to be happy. The group of companies they are keeping tabs on just got smaller.

This looks to me like Jettis found the IPSP market to be not as worthwhile to pursue as gateway services to merchant account holders. You have to ask yourself why is that? I don't think they would have sold to Paycom if they believed there was nothing but blue skies and improving margins on the horizon.

Large size doesnt not necessarily mean stability. Our own industry has a good example of this with DMR. I am with Shap and Mutt on this, I think the closure of one of the remaining IPSPs has the potential to be a bad thing. I hope I am wrong.

Shap writes:

By Epoch buying Jettis that doesn't mean those clients will all of a sudden be willing to use Epoch as their primary processor. And if someone was using Epoch and Jettis now they will go out and use Ccbill or Ibill. So I don't think epoch is coming out as big as everyone is making this out to be.

In this situation the only winner is Jettis. They get to exit the IPSP market with their head up and not having to say they closed down like so many others. Epoch picks up some business so they come out ahead. And all us Jettis webmasters are big losers because the company we chose to process with is no longer an option.

And to answer your other question, what do I have against Epoch? I don't have anything against them. I just prefer to not use them as my processor. I believe, of the 3 remaining processors, Epoch is by far the riskiest. They allow multiple cross sells. They seem to be the gathering spot for all Pay per signup companies. And pay per signup companies are proven to be a problem for chargebacks.

Bubbczar writes:

What you guys fail to realize it wasn't DMR's business practice or size that got them shut down. it was its webmasters. 5-6 years ago webmasters were allowed to collect the credit card numbers and post that info to the processor. Well the problem with that was that some, not all, would use that number to create other charges that the consumer was never made aware of until he got his statement. Now at that point I guess DMR's size did matter, they had so many clients doing this that they got noticed by Visa and shutdown from finding another merchant.

As you know, the situation is a bit different now. Only the merchant of record (IPSP) can gather the credit card data. Visa now tracks down to the sponsored merchant, thus removing the bad seeds rather than the group taking the blame for individuals. There is a laundry list of things in the credit card game that are much different than when DMR went down. I would never say that a processor is bulletproof, but dodging bullets is a lot easier these days.

Have I a Mobster Book In Me?

I always plan ahead with my writing - far ahead. So even though I am still working on a book on Jewish Journalism, I'm thinking ahead to the next book in the series. Right now, I'm leaning to writing a book on Jewish criminals: mafia money men, Russian mobsters, etc. If you know of any Jewish criminals (say from shul, or Federation events, or porn), please drop me a note.

Who Wants To Sleep With Myron Magnet?

This guy wrote the book: Modern Sex: Liberation and Its Discontents. It just seems wrong. What does he know about sexual liberation and its discontents?

Will The Pay Per Signup Model Be Forced To Change?

By Danny_C

It's a simple fact that the market is changing. Profit margins are shrinking across the industry, companies are tightening their belts, and most importantly, they're treating it like a serious business rather than easy money. Companies that are strong today are that way because they've learned to be versatile in the face of change. They've learned to accept adversity and have the nerve to do what it takes - even occasionally make very hard decisions - in order to survive and prosper.

I'm going to avoid prophesizing about the industry's methods of adjusting to growing and upcoming obstacles, but what I can predict is this: there are difficulties that lie ahead, and many or all will have to adapt, whether it's the PPS programs, the webmasters, or both.

1) Lower profit margins. It's just a simple fact. While many companies continue to earn great deals of money (and in many cases, are making more than ever), the industry as a whole is experiencing lower profit margins than in years past. Many companies and webmasters have been weeded out. Even companies who are still making good profits are being forced to tighten their belts and more closely examine their business practices in order to maintain those numbers.

John Bone On AVN

"...AVN-the last time I had a run in with the idiot who f-ckin' runs it, he told me how he was going to stand behind his journalists because they have integrity and they were proper journalists. I think they're a bunch of third-rate writers whose only qualifications are that they masturbate. Let's say they're journalists. If they're journalists, do they actually write stories or do they just collect advertising?"

'God Bless'

I just called porn star Montana Gunn and got her voice message which ended with, "God bless."

More pictures please!

From a review on Alexa.com: "Luke is a tasteful and thoughtful site. Each day the author shares his gentle musings and tentative "dating" adventures with his dozens of readers, each of whom surely must be the better for it. One complaint: More pictures please!"

Porn Star Papillon: 'I'm Still Alive'

From PapillonXXX.com:

I'm still alive. I have been real busy lately w/ doctors and my kids. I have a little bit of good news. I don't have to have a hysterectomy to remove the cancer yay. Anyways, I am going to have surgery earlier then I expected. I am going in sometime early August and the good thing is that it won't take me forever to recover from it. This is the best news that I have had in two months.

I am off to Vegas in the morning with my x-hubby; I might even be so kind to make him smile..lol. I guess it all depends on the mood. that or the fact that I have been extremely sexually frustrated and I want to vent some of my frustration out on any living breathing male.

I call Papillon at 10:45 a.m. Her voice sounds tiny.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I was sleeping," she says. "Medication makes me sleep during the day and I work at night."

"I read the good news on your Web site."

"They can remove the cancer. We'll see how well they remove it. It has risk factors to it. They could touch it and the cancer could spread."

"Did you go to Vegas with your ex-husband?"

"Yes I did. And he we got lucky. Yes he did. Life is too short. I hadn't been with someone in so long."

"Can having sex make the cancer worse?"

"No. What he could do is hurt me. If you pound it in to me wrong... There's not really any pain when it comes to it. It's all good."

She laughs. "Everything will work out. God is on my side.

"The medication is for my cancer and my chronic fatigue."

"Should you feel better after the operation and medication?"

"I think so."

She chuckles. "It can only happen to me."

Asia Carrera In MENSA Magazine

From www.asiacarrera.com:

Nine weeks pregnant, and I KNOW my boobs are bigger now! I've had to buy all new bras and bikinis to rein these puppies in! Not sure why the boobies need to have their growth spurt several months before the tummy actually starts growing, but I don't hear Don complaining about it!

I got a nice piece of press this month that I honestly never thought I'd see - Mensa acknowledged me in the American Mensa magazine this month! They did a cover story on "Famous Mensans", and surprise surprise, they included me in their writeup of 26 famous Mensans, including Isaac Asimov, Marilyn vos Savant, and Geena Davis. I'm sure there's nothing in the writeup that you didn't already know about me (you can see it HERE), but it was very nice of them to include me, and it's also nice to be publicly validated after all these years! Yay!! The geeks shall inherit the earth! Hehehe! (Hm, speaking of public validations, I didn't see Sharon Stone anywhere in the celebrity Mensans list, although she's claimed to be a member in numerous interviews...)

WEHT Azlea Antistia?

Fast Eddie writes: "Azlea was available about three years ago, but has since retired from all aspects of the business, supposedly for heath reasons... last I heard she was tending bar, I think somewhere in Fla., but that was a while ago. She had the most amazing nipples I've ever seen!"

Felicia Fox Escort

There are no legitimate reviews available on me, as I haven't met with any clients yet.

I just listed with Exotica 2000 a few weeks ago, and I'm very excited to be available exclusively through them. My first tour will be in New York City, August 24-28.

I'm brand new in the truest sense of the word; although I've been doing XXX films for four years and have over 100 to my credit (along with an 2004 AVN Award), I have never had a private booking of any kind.

Tim Case (Felicia's hubby), is it true that you will be escorting as well?

Yes, but my rates are much higher. And I book exclusively through MikeSouth.com's "Squeal Like a Pig" division...

Movie Producer With Mob Ties

From ABC News:

B O S T O N - As Sens. John Kerry and John Edwards arrived in Boston today for the Democratic National Convention, so did the California man who is their single biggest contributor. He is Stephen Bing, a wealthy film producer who, with little fanfare, has managed to steer a total of more than $16 million of his money to Democratic candidates and the supposedly independent groups that support them.

Democratic Party officials said they knew nothing about the man who law enforcement officials tell ABC News is Bing's friend and business partner - Dominic Montemarano, a New York Mafia figure currently in federal prison on racketeering charges. Montemarano has a long criminal record and is known to organized crime investigators by his street name, Donnie Shacks.

"Donnie Shacks' main activity was murder. No question about it. That was his main function for the Colombo family and for organized crime in general. He was one of the top hit men in the New York area," said Joe Coffey, a former NYPD investigator.

According to The Los Angeles Times, Bing paid Montemarano's legal fees after his most recent scrape with the law. Montemerano's lawyer said his client was an employee of Bing's.

After a recent private lunch with Democratic vice-presidential candidate Edwards, Bing also declined to answer questions about his relationship with Montemarano. "The American people have a right to know who's funding their presidential candidates and their parties," Lewis said. "The Bing situation shows us how little we really know."

From the February archives:

A Mafia soldier writes:

I met with an official and I told him about a meeting I had in a Manhattan Cafe. I was with some high ranking wiseguys, who are into bid-rigging construction projects. They were talking about getting a breather from the assault by the Feds on the Families. They were hoping that the War on Terror would help them. They said they would need another five to seven years to put everything back on track. The official told me they would get it. He told me that more and more resources are devoted to terror cases and less to major crimes.

I was hanging out in a bar last night and my friends and I were discussing the presidential race. Clinton came up. We all laughed, because a friend of ours who is made and now [the Los Angeles] underboss [Tommy Gambino] gave Roger Clinton a 50,000 dollar check and a Rolex to help his father get a parole. His father who I know as Sal was a major player in the Pizza Connection and dumped tons of heroin on the streets of the US. It was all swept under the table.

This is Dominic (Donnie Shacks) Montemarano [convicted Mafia killer] and Elizabeth Hurley. Donnie is bald with glasses. Moments after this they went into the theater and watched A Night at The Golden Eagle. This was on the Paramount Lot. Steve Bing was also there, Tommy Gambino and sister, Donnie, Uncle Artie and Vinnie A. This is right before the Roger Clinton scandal.

Photo One Photo Two

The Naked News

Misha Manx writes: "Hey everyone the producer of "The Naked News" says that the okaying of the audition has a lot to do with who the audience wants to see. I think all of you would like to see me as a newscaster on "The Naked News" wouldn't you???? I am still waiting to see if I got the job."

Heather Hamptons Returns Home From Surgery

Check out her Yahoo group:

As many of you know, I just got the surgery I have been wanting for YEARS. Im so happy with the results too. Being that my boobs are brand new, no one has seen them yet.

I've decided to offer up customised videos. These will be the first ever videos of the new me (First come first serve). I will also autograph the videos myself. In order to make them worth even more, I am only doing a limited number of them. 10 to be exact.

As usual, I can do a variety of things on video for you. You just email me and tell me what you'd like me to do....within reason of course. I am now accepting orders so get your in today. First come first serve so dont wait. I will only be doing 10 videos.

If you are interested in placing an advance order, email me heather@heatherhamptons.com and we'll discuss details and payment arrangements.

Luke Is Back Coupon Drive - Give Until It Hurts

Gentle Readers, I look upon my ever dwindling pile of shekels and I wonder how I might impress any potential marriage candidates? My straits are dire indeed. The simple facts are that marriage requires courtship, courtship requires dates, and dates require money. Begging, like working, is certainly beneath me so I am initiating Your Moral Leader's first annual coupon drive.

The coupons that you donate to me will multiply the effectivity of my severely limited funds. Simply put, your 2-for-1 dining coupons will double my number of dates, thereby doubling my potential for a blessed love match.

Remember, only coupons for eating establishment with suitable kosher and vegetarian menu items will be accepted. I would also appreciate any free samples that my readers might have laying around of Grecian Formula, Japanese slim fit condoms, and pharmaceutical samples of Levitra.

Fly writes:

Levitra is for those having woodsman problems.

One interesting little caveat from the Levitra website is this: "Men using Levitra who experience an erection for more than four hours should seek immediate medical attention."

Does one call 9-1-1 and say, "I've had a raging hardon for four hours and need an ambulance?"

How does one report this discretely to the nurse at the emergency room? Presumably, one should wear loose clothing or adopt the "untucked look" when traveling out and about with this problem.

Judge Awards Dino Bravo $1,050

Gene Ross writes for Adultfyi.com:

Porn Valley- A small claims court judge this morning awarded Dino Bravo a very small claim against Sandy Bunz. Bravo, a former sales employee of the company had been seeking over $6,000 and wound up taking the company owner to small claims court for $5,000.

Marilyn Star's New Prices

Tinoel writes Funs With PSEs about the notorious Marilyn Star, who was arrested and charged in connection with a Wall Street insider trading scandal:

I called her yesterday to schedule an appointment with her and she started telling me about this other girl she has available (I guess she's branching out into an agency-type thing). When I told her I wanted to see her (Brook) she told me that her price is $5000 for a dinner date. When I told her that that was very different from what I had seen she said something like, "Yeah, but that ad is so old and you know, supply and demand..." I guess I won't be seeing her.

Fast Eddie writes:

Unfortunately, that's typical... I've seen it happen with a few PSEs who's ego got the better of their brains. When a pornstar new to escorting or one who hasn't escorted for a long time, especially a well known one, becomes available, there's naturally a large demand to see her. First, her long time fans will line up, and second, the guys who want the latest newest thing will take a shot. And if she's touring with an agency, many of them have a client list that will see anyone they reccommend. Hence, the girl has a fantastic first tour, it goes to her head and she decides she's the "bomb" and is worth a ton of bucks.

But the typical hobbyist, in my opinion, sees most PSEs once - there might be one or two ladies he'll see on a regular basis, but my guess is that on average it's that one time... have a fantasy, fulfill the fantasy, move on to the next fantasy.

So her next tour isn't quite as good, and by the third or forth time she makes the circut, she's sitting on her hands in the hotel wondering what the problem is. Hey, a lady is entitled to charge whatever she feels she's worth... if she can get $5000 for a "dinner date" (another concept I don't quite understand, but that's another discussion), more power to her. Perhaps she's totally satisfied to occasionally see a fan who's willing to pay that price. Not everyone wants to see 5 or more guys a day.

But when there's so many great PSEs out there who charge a more than fair price and deliver 110% (Sara Jay, Kathy Willets, Stevie, Raylin, Samantha Sterlyng, Holly Body and many others), why would anybody pay that kind of price for (no offense to Marilyn) an ex- pornstar who was never a huge name to begin with? I could see it if it was Jenna Jameson or someone of her stature, but not for someone who hasn't made a video in over five years and wasn't that big a star to begin with. The irony here is that Marilyn was probably best known because she was one of the original Fanfuxxx ladies who had sex with her fans (on camera) for free!

The Battle For The Perfect Venue

Mike South writes:

Word I get is that Carly Milne over at Pure Play Media (Thats Seymore Butts, Suze Randall and Michael Ninn) has booked a party for Expo at a hot club in Vegas, they are having this shindig on Thurs night, the first night of the show. Apparently LFP/Hustler wanted the same venue for the same night, claiming no other was suitable and LFP tried to throw their weight around to get Pure Play booted...All to no avail.

When I called Carly she wouldn't name any names but did confirm that Pure Play is gonna throw a BIG Invite only Party on the first night and that they did have the best venue in Vegas booked for it. Its an invite only shindig. OK I better get an invite.

The Humorous Beheading Of Ron Jeremy

Cindi Loftus from Xcitement Magazine writes:

Out in Vegas several years ago, I stayed at the Imperial Palace. I was friendly with the PR guy, who invited me to hang out at their new bar because Dave of "Insomniac" was coming to film. I invited a porn star and her hubby to come with me. They brought Steve Banan and Nicole Moore. The 5 of us were given our own little Vip section. Dave came and filmed his show. The two girls were dancing and it was shown on the Vegas episode. Then the four of them came back to my hotel room for more drinking and they all had sex while I took pictures. I agreed to Steve's request to not use any of the pics that included him in a mag. Although they all signed a release. I only published photos of the girls. I had been friendly with Steve via e-mail for quite awhile before this, but had never met him in person before. (I still have the non-published pics) And Steve and I stayed friendly via e-mail after our meeting.

Upon reading the PR from "The Liberty Network," I noticed so many grammar and spelling mistakes that I told Steve I would be happy to edit his PR for him B4 he sent it out. He did send me stuff from time to time. I fixed it up and sent it back to him. We even discussed me writing a gossip column for his newsletter, but when the pay turned out to be zero dollars I decided against it. Steve said they would really promote my writing and my name. But I didn't feel that I needed or wanted that. I did though continue to edit a few pieces for him. For no other reason then I didn't want him to look bad. Then I received a new copy of PR that he put out, which I had nothing to do with and it contained misspelled words and even worse some words that were used incorrectly, (wish I saved it but didn't) It seems that rear and rare were wrongly used. And I sent Steve an e-mail telling him how badly this sounded. I was embarrassed for him. He sent me an enflamed e-mail back which was very insulting, and derogatory. Which degraded one of the mags that I very proudly write for.

Steve & Nicole, OMG, You guys have got to get a proofreader. In a RARE interview, not rear. Then the second sentence with coarse, coarse means rough as in a coarse beard. You mean course. Steve my love I am sure you can afford to pay someone twenty bucks to read your stuff. This is down right embarrassing... Don't give people reason to pick on you xoxo, Cindi

Here is what I got back:

Cindi, Honestly, I really don't give a flying f-ck what people in my industry or out of it think anymore...If you have a problem reading it, then do me a favor Cindi don't. We pay these guys twenty five dollars a story to write them and I don't give a damn how it comes out or what anyone thinks. What the hell do you think we are The New York Times for God sakes? Worry more about what is happening to our industry and the people we have trusted that have misled us. Worry more about humans that are being beheaded then two f-cken misspelled words. Furthermore, I have read many of your issues and all the advertising and exploitation of the talent you guys do. There are many mistakes in those as well. Maybe you should also invest some money and get a spell checker as well or tell the people who are sending you the press releases to. So please just keep your opinions to yourself and don't give me any reason to pick on you. I am so sorry, but I have had to close down many productions and lost a lot of money this year, because of stupid ignorant people that think they know it all and I am just so fed up with all of this sh-t. Respectfully, SWB

After this exchange, Here is what I wrote back:

Steve, I seriously considered not responding to your last derogatory e-mail. It left me feeling really bad. If that is how you truly think of me and Xcitement Mag then what is the point? "Exploiting talent" ? That hurt me deeply. Obviously, you do not consider me a friend, although i did think of you as one. Obviously my defending you many times, my editing your press releases for free, and my coverage of Nicole meant nothing to you. So I guess that is where we stand. I wish you the best in life. I am so sorry for your struggle with dreadful health issuses. I will leave my door open. I have seen what a fun, sweet, caring, loving gentle man you can be. Just don't know where he went. The last e-mail I sent you was certainly not meant to insult you. But I guess that is the way you took it. For that misunderstanding, I am truly sorry. Respectfully, Cindi Loftus

I didn't hear from Steve after that. I thought I wrote him a nice enough reply. Then I received this press release:

Van Nuys, CA. July 22, 2004 -- Last evening on the set of David Sterling's new mainstream feature, "Witches Sabbath", shooting in and around Southern California, I witnessed a frightening sight, the beheading of Metro's biggest star Ron Jeremy. I arrived on the set expecting to see members of the Taliban preparing to behead Ron Jeremy. Instead, I saw three witches including adult star Lisa Sparxxx.

Sterling Entertainment is the premier producer-for-hire of low budget filmmaking. Founder David Sterling has produced over 50 feature films. Many of the movies are available on DVD and VHS in video rental stores and retail outlets such as Blockbuster, Hollywood Video, Tower Records, Best Buy, Virgin Mega Store, Warehouse Music, Fry's and video stores all over the U.S.

They have also distributed movies throughout the world, with sales in Japan, Russia and China, just to name a few. Their films are also viewed on cable, pay-per-view and TV around the world. Additionally, they have many movies available on Internet pay-per-view.

At approximately 11:30 pm, the ritual began. Ron Jeremy who plays a bible salesman, sinner was captured and tied down to a table in the witches' chamber to beheaded and sacrificed. When he was decapitated, his head flew off and his blood squirted everywhere. For the rest of the story you must purchase or rent David Sterling's "Witches Sabbath" when it is released through Brain Damage Films February of 2005.

PS: As a present, they gave me Ron Jeremy's head to take home. The only thing is, it hasn't stopped chasing my wife Nicole Moore around and we have not been able to get it out of my refrigerators and freezers.

And here is my response:

It is absolutely disgusting that at this time with what is happening in the Middle East that anyone would make light of people being beheaded. I can't believe that Ron participated in this project. Please remove me from your subscription list. Cindi Loftus

Steve sent me back three insulting e-mails. I didn't think he deserved an answer to them but here is what he wrote:

It would be my pleasure...you fool it was for motion picture! Steve Banan

Ron Jeremy did not have anything to do with it. It was all me, so if you have anything to say, say it to me... Steve Banan

In addition, don't you ever presume to tell me what is happening in the Middle East, if you remember my wife is Israeli? Steve Banan

Well Ron Jeremy sent me three urgent phone messages tonight on my cel phone to make sure that I (his little sweetie) was not upset with him about all this, and I am certainly not upset with Ron. Ron said that this movie was scheduled for him at least six months ago and he certainly didn't want to disrespect anyone in the military, or upset anyone with Banan's press release which he had not seen. He told me that previously for the same movie company he had had his penis cut off. And this movie had nothing to do with Arabs or middle eastern folks. He is attending the Anime convention so we couldn't talk to long.. He will be here at the Miami internext convention and we can get the whole thing straightened out then.

Steve- Don't' start a war of words when YOU have no ammunition.

Bisexual Britni writes:

Cindi is a very sweet, kind-hearted spirit who means only to help, and goes out of her way to do favors for people that she is fond of. It is not difficult to be a friendly party to Cindi; you simply avoid being rude and boorish. For anyone to think so little of her as to insinuate that she is a "stupid ignorant person that thinks she knows it all" needs to have their head examined (or, as aforementioned, potentially removed). Talk about "people we have trusted who have misled us" all you like, as Cindi has had plenty of experience dealing with such things... and now, this.

Any friend of Cindi's will tell you that if they've ever found themselves in a perplexing pinch or a frustrating fix, Cindi will instantaneously offer them the very shirt off her back. (On several occasions I, myself, have pretended to be in dire distress in order to watch her peel that sensuous, knitted sweater from her bosoms.)

Further, to indicate that Cindi is responsible for, in any way, the exploitation of the talent in the industry, is asanine. Everyone who pays attention to the workings of the industry itself whatsoever knows that myself and Max Hardcore are solely responsible for 99.9% of the exploitation which occurs within the porn industry. (Though I'm responsible for the majority of the post-performance distress and the subsequent alcoholism and drug addiction.) In conclusion, I would like to reinforce the common knowledge that anyone who's met and conversed with Cindi herself would know: Cindi's a good girl, a nice girl, and a sweetheart. (and she has beautiful ta-tas).

P.S. Steve dear, I must agree with Cindi on one point: you're clearly out of practice. I, after reading only your first insane rant to Cindi, discovered: one misplaced capital letter, two missing semi-colons or dashes, five separate instances of a missing comma, a misused expression, the improper usage of a homonym (then/than), the complete misspelling of an expletive (you also forgot to add an apostrophe at the end of said expletive which you failed to grace with an "ing" ending), the incorrect "to" (you needed "too"), and a run-on sentence (which this sentence has pretty much begun to resemble due to your incessent lack of writing capability). So, not so fast.... you could likely use a professional opinion like Cindi's. You even forgot the comma between "stupid" and "ignorant". How profound.

The First Real-Time Web Payment System

Lewis Perdue writes in EroticaBiz:

The first example I was able to find of a (near) real-time Web payment system was The Red Light District (fun.nl), a porn site in Amsterdam started in 1994 by David van der Pool, doorman and bouncer for that city's largest live sex club.

Today van der Poel is the owner of Python Video, one of the Web's five largest adult businesses.

...[B]y 1994, the first real-time, live entertainment video feeds were coming from the sex shows at Amsterdam's Casa Rosso courtesy of David van der Pool's site "Red Light District." Not only that but the Red Light District's feeds could be viewed (albeit jerkily) at the very slow 28.8 modem speeds of the day.

Finally, with the need to make the consumers' viewing experiences as smooth as possible...the Red Light District developed a system that required no extra browser plug-ins for the consumer to fiddle and hassle with. Van der Pool said the no-plug-in method was a first for the Web and was developed in less than a day when he bet his programmer a chocolate bar that it could not be done.

Van der Pool told me that the paying user base grew so fast that the Dutch government-owned phone company had to install dedicated, ultra-high-bandwidth optical cables to their servers to handle the traffic.

From the earliest days of streaming sex, servers were tweaked to detect the customer's connection speed. The slower the speed, the more frames in the video that were dropped.

Don't Touch Me There

These days, when I go out on a date and ponder the conduct that my faith requires of me, I cannot help but think of some wholesome music by The Tubes:

In this moment of surrender darling,
if you really care,

Don't touch me there...don't touch me there,
Oh, anywhere but there.

This sums up my predicament with women. I want to touch them "there" and be so touched as well, but my faith does not allow it. For one thing, how do I know the woman is not having her period?

Hustler Magazine - A window to truths about our world

Consumer culture and 24/7 news have delivered a one- two punch to literature in America. In spite of the well- known success stories - "Cold Mountain" and "The Lovely Bones" - reading serious novels has become the sport of a relative few. The media feed this trend by promoting brand-name blockbusters or nonfiction with the hint of scandal. Fact, not fiction, rules our lives.

"Novels are in trouble today," Norman Mailer told us in a recent interview. "Some people think they're through - like the five-act play."

Literary fiction is more demanding and complex than the stuff of John Grisham and Stephen King, demanding character development and the use of words to speak to universal themes.

Where can we turn for such literary fiction? Hustler magazine under Bruce David and Mark Cromer. It's a place to reflect and to nurture a writing form conceived in another age. Hustler does not give up its secrets easily, but through careful study, we will uncover its teachings in my columns to come.

Henri Pachard's Column Returns To AVNInsider

AVN.com news report.

Henri writes:

So I asked myself, why do so many young players in the game just don't know how to find out what it takes to hit it big in porn?

Pornography and Sexual Representation: A Reference Guide

By Dr. Joseph W. Slade, this 1264-page three-volume work is the most comprehensive yet on the porn industry. It only costs $356:95.

For better or worse, pornography and sexual representation suffuse American culture. This first comprehensive guide to the literature includes the history of pornography in the United States and discusses pornography in a vast range of media. Volume one opens with a discussion of the history of American pornography. Two separate sections present information regarding bibliographies and reference tools concerning pornography and reviews of references devoted to the histories of sexuality and its representations and theoretical works on erotica and pornography. One chapter is devoted to a discussion of major research collections. Also included are a chronology of important dates in the history of American pornography and a discussion of child pornography. Volume two focuses on dramatic, visual, and electronic media and is arranged by topic. Chapters discuss the landscape of the body, performance, erotic and pornographic art, erotic and pornographic photography, motion pictures and videotapes, and electronic media. Volume three focuses on oral, print, and journalistic media and includes folklore and oral genres, erotic literature, newspapers, magazines and advertising, and comics. The volume concludes with a section concerning research and policy regarding medical and social sciences, the law in the United States, and the economics of pornography.

James Avalon - Mormon Missionary, Lewis Perdue - Christian Missionary

A former Mormon missionary with a masters degree in film from Brigham Young university, Kent Smith now makes movies for Metro under the name James Avalon. He's worked in the industry for over 20 years in various capacities (formerly at Adam Film World). Avalon is an accomplished rock climber and writes bizarre science fiction.

His friend Lewis Perdue dedicates his book EroticaBiz: How Sex Shaped the Internet: "To Kent Smith, a true friend and a life saver. You've got your own unique trajectory in life, dude, and it has certainly taken you through unknown constellations and solar systems the rest of us will never visit. You may no longer believe in God, but I hope she blesses you."

Dan Brown's hit book The DaVinci Code was plagiarized from the work of Lewis Perdue.

"Signed letter of engagement Friday with law firm Alschuler, Grossman, Stein & Kahan, Santa Monica," writes Lewis. "Michael Plonsker is my attorney."

Lewis has started a blog here and here.

He also has a movie coming out.

Respectable Swiss News Weekly L'Hebdo Covers Porn's HIV Crisis

Cover Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

Mike Albo's Bruce David Stories Removed From ASN

I was cruising by Adult Stars News.com and noticed that all of Mike Albo's remarks about Hustler editor Bruce David have been removed from the site and replaced with the header "Point Made."

Mike Albo is the former editor of the now-defunct Hustler Erotic Video Guide.

Bruce David has been in and out at Hustler over the decades. In between gigs, he wrote a couple of episodes of the TV show Alf.

I guess Bruce either talked directly to Dennis and made his appeal or asked Larry Flynt to intervene with his friend Hof. Either way, if you've wondered why Mike Albo has been so gentle on his new site, here's why. If he's himself, he'll get squashed.

At Hof's request, Albo made personal attacks on Hof's enemies such as ex-GF Sunset Thomas and ex-employee Steve Seidman.

Mike's a caged beast these days.

Paris Hilton Runs Into Kevin Blatt

Kevin Blatt had to testify Friday for Lavelly & Singer, the Century City attorneys representing Cameron Diaz. On his way to LA Thursday, July 22, KB gets a call from Rick Salomon (purported owner of One Night in Paris celebrity sex tape starring Paris Hilton).

Rick asks KB to meet him for a cocktail at a bar called Prey on La Cienega Blvd near Melrose. "It's really exclusive to get in," says Rick. "Just tell the doorman, Philly Cheesesteak. That's the password."

KB shows up. He tells the doorman he's looking for Philly Cheesesteak. He walks in. It was like the cool people's club that none of us are allowed into. It looked like every modeling agency in town had supplied girls for this party. The ratio of girls to guys was 15-1.

KB wanders around the club. He bumps into actor David Spade. They met at Manson's house two years ago.

KB turns around and this chicks bumps into him and spills a drink down his side. KB looks up and it is Nikki Hilton, who now has dark hair. "You're Nikki Hilton?"

"Yeah. I'm so sorry."

Just then, Paris comes flying out of nowhere to grab her sister to go dance. Paris gives KB a look and a smile. KB is the publicist for the video One Night in Paris.

Paris and Nikki run to the floor and start dancing.

KB finds Rick Salomon and tells him what happened.

All night, Rick is on one side of the room and Paris is on the other side.

After half an hour, KB leaves.