YOU WILL CERTAINLY NOT BE USED TO ME POSTING SOMETHING LIKE THIS… because it is all about MY opinion….
OP/ED by Cindi Loftus I generally keep my opinion to myself, or i give you a sound bite of what i think. This time it’s different. I just can’t keep my opinion to myself. When something happens in this adult biz world that can get ME riled up, you know the shit has hit the fan. I wrote the intro, I have the attitude, not Raylene. She tried to be nothing but nice. I,on the other hand, have a temper when shit is dealt unfairly. This is MY opinion. By now you know that I rarely offer my opinion on things. I generally allow everyone to give theirs and i stay in the middle of an issue the best I can. I think there are usually three sides to an issue. In this case there are only two, right and wrong. I tend to be on the right one. The beautiful pictures here are courtesy of Raylene.
NL-Let me tell you how this interview came about. I noticed a discussion Raylene was having with her friend on twitter. Raylene was talking about being called names and how it hurt her. My pissed off meter went through the roof. Raylene had been told she was fat. Some girls are overweight in porn and that’s their niche. But Raylene is not in porn for that. She is in the regular sized, feature film genre. Maybe we can qualify her as a MILF. Probably we can put her in the big-boobed category, especially since those amazing breasts are real.
Being called Fat is not always a bad thing. Especially if that is what you are into. But the reason Raylene was called fat was to hurt her feelings, to make her feel bad. To make her feel unworthy, not good enough to be in a "big asses" movie. And Raylene is too nice to say who said it. Even though i might be nice at times, if you do a girl wrong I have no problem calling you out. I am also feisty, and men who go out of their way to make women feel badly about themselves deserve a kick in the balls and some psychiatric counseling to help them get over their issues of low self esteem, and their Napoleonic syndrome.
The person who gave Rayleen a hard time is some guy, a really big deal (just ask him) named Greg L*****. He’s so famous I had never heard of him. So I looked him up. He has directed about 50 teen movies mostly for New Sensations/Digital Sin (& I’ve found NS/DS to be out of the loop at best. Janeen, return any emails lately? or maybe it’s just mine you don’t return?) Well, GREG, maybe Raylene doesn’t look quite like the teens you are used to getting attention from. See she is an adult , a grown up shapely women, who has had a baby, and OMG she is over 30! Some day when you grow up and maybe are lucky enough to have a beautiful woman want something to do with you outside of porn you will learn that your overblown ego is not beneficial to your (not long to last) lucky break in porn.
Do you see makeup? A hairstyle? Take a long look at that face. Raylene is just freakin’ beautiful….WOW
Raylene came into porn as one of the most beautiful, well respected, professional, level headed, sought after performers of her time when she performed in the 90’s. Except for a few years of life experience not much has changed about Raylene. She is STILL all of the above. She’s not a prima donna. She shows up on time. She does her job. She treats others well and has a sweet disposition. She is prepared and knows her lines. Sounds like a MILF any company would be lucky to have on their sets. But that is not how Raylene is feeling. After her short time back, she is already saying she wants to go back to retirement. WHY?!
When did you start in porn and how old were you? Weren’t you a Vivid contract girl?
I was 18 when I started in the biz, I was with Vivid from 1998-2001 and retired at 24
When and why did you retire from porn several years ago?
I retired because I promised myself I would get an education in some type of field other than Adult Entertainment by the age of 27. When I met my ex husband Brad, I saw the opportunity to start a potential family life with him. I took a risk and left the business to set out and accomplish my goal earlier than expected. I got my Real Estate license and practiced as an agent.
When and why did you decide to come back to porn recently?
I returned to the business June 09. I decided to come back while I am still young. My New husband Ethan and I were looking to expand our sexual experiences together and thought it might be fun. I had been a Real Estate Agent for 5 years and as everyone knows the market took a severe down turn. It was the perfect window for me to make a return to Adult.
How have you changed mentally, How have you changed physically, between the time you left and now that you are back?
Mentally I am in a much different place then I was back in the early 2000’s. I’ve been in a business that doesn’t consist of Sex at all, and in a place where I had to keep the "Raylene" character on lock down so to speak. I had to learn a whole new way of proffessionalism.Living among what us Adult Entertainers sometimes call "civilians" in combination becoming a mother has rewired my brain. The most significant part of the change was the decision to quit using drugs. It will be 5 years this Thanksviging. Physically, the change is obvious. I have carried a child, I don’t use drugs, I am going to be 34 soon. I work my ass off in my spin class and Bikram yoga 5 days a week. I watch what I eat. I am far perfect, but I work hard. No matter how hard I work I will never be a "little" girl again.
What did you do to get in shape mentally & physically to come back to the biz?
To come back to the biz I spent 2 hours in the gym and 1 1/2 hours in Bikram yoga 6 days a week. On a meatless, carbless, 1200 calorie diet for 2 months. It was torture and I will never do it again. Mentally I was not prepared, I was extremely nervous and insecure with my body even after all the hard work.
Have you found it easy to get hired for scenes since you’ve been back?
It was easy to get work when I first returned but work has been extremely slow for me since January.
Who have you enjoyed working with?
I love working with Julia Ann,Tommy Gunn, Ann Marie Rios, Francesca Le, Mark Wood. Just to name a few..
What movies are you happy with ?
I am happy with Raylene’s Dirty Work, Raylene Returns, The Divorcee, The Golden Girls XXX Parody, all my Zero Tolerance movies, and soon to be released The Raylene Diaries.
Do you find that you are treated differently this time in the biz, rather than how you were treated when you started in porn?
It depends who I am around. Some people are on the same level as I am and easy to be around, and others can be on their high horse and extrememly rude. For the most part my set experiences have been descent.
What are the differences?
Expectations to perform acts you normally wouldn’t are alot higher!
How has the biz changed from your first time compared to now?
The business is quite similar to when I first started other than the lack of shooting due to piracy. The only difference I have noticed is the years of becoming a "star" are over, there are some but not as many as a few years ago. The saturation of Talent Agencies. We just didn’t need them back then, but I am grateful for the one I am with.
When I talked to you last night you mentioned that you were thinking of retiring again. Many of your friends and fans jumped in to tell you not too.
It’s something I am thinking about. I may continue to shoot for people now and again who actually care, and that I have a relationship with already. I came back to this business with moderate self esteem. I have never seen in the mirror what other people tell me they see. I have been kicked and beaten down about my weight since i’ve returned. People take cheap shots when they can. My self esteem is in the toilet and it’s going to take a lot of healing to bring it back to moderate.
You said you were thinking about retiring again while you still has some self esteem left.
Yes.. I have allowed so much spiritual damage behind all of the insults. My self esteem affects everything in my life. My attitude, relationships, my energy. I can’t look in the mirror or at a picture anymore without tearing myself apart. It’s not fair to anyone that I put myself through this. (NL- did i mention i was pissed off?)
By whom & what companies have you been treated disrespectfully?
I prefer not to throw people under the bus here, I already did a little via twitter out of anger. It takes some serious discipline to not want to vomit all their names out. I will tell you, top talent agents, top directors, talent, and some fans can just be cruel.
What has been said/done by who and or what companies?
There was a specific director recently that was casting a "big butt" movie. My agency tried to get him to cast me. He said he heard I am too fat. Despite the brand new pictures on the agency website, he requested I take a cell phone pic nude front and back. I sent them and heard that he said I am still too fat to shoot. I do agree that I fluctuate up and down, but right now I am definitely down. It was humiliating, clearly he had no intentions of shooting me to begin with so why the picture? So unneccesary.
It’s people like that who enable drug use and suicide. Sounds severe but it’s the truth.
What have you heard, felt, that makes you feel less proud of yourself, your physical appearance?
I hear that I am fat all the time, and that I need to dye my hair back red. The red hair comments don’t bother me as much as the fat comments. It’s even harder to hear because I do the physical work to look my best.
What has been done to you to lower your self esteem?
Comparisons to what I used to look like when I was with Vivid, rude comments and remarks from agents and directors.
Can you please give me particular examples about things that stand out to you that were so disrespectful and/or rude that you’ll never forget them.
Yes, when a particular make up artist said to me "if that’s what having a baby does to your body i’m never having kids". When a Dance agent said to me a certain club chain in LA won’t hire me because of my weight and i’m too old, I was 32 at the time.
Why do you think you were treated in this manner?
I don’t know, maybe because what they all say is true lol (NL- NO , it’s not true Raylene. this is why the porn industry is going down the toilet.)
What movies are you not proud of and why?
I would prefer to keep that to myself, I don’t want to ruin it for fans that like them.
What companies/directors will you no longer work for?
None of them are worth mentioning.
Have you found other talent to be overall responsible, reliable and respectful? or just the opposite? Who are your new favorites? Have you also found talent you would rather not be on set with, and certainly not want to work with?
For the most part I have found the talent I have been on set with to be great. My only issue is cleanliness, I have definitely had more bad experiences then I care to talk about with other talent. You will always have the guy and girl who thinks they are gods gift to porn, but you have that in every field. I have so many new favorites it’s crazy. I have definitely made friends with some of the best people I have ever met this time around in the business. I love the new girls with great attitudes and a genuine love for what they do, Tori Black, Asa Akira, and Lizz Tayler are a great representation for the business.
After this comeback experience, and all the negatives and positives, are you glad you did it? What did you learn from this? What advice can you give to girls wanting to come into the biz? How about guys?
I am glad I came back, I have had some really fun times and done some awesome scenes. Despite the comments I have made in this interview, for the most part I have enjoyed being back. I have worked for and with some great people. I wouldn’t change a thing, I am just ready to go back to what I love. I miss Real Estate. I’ve learned there are more important things in life than trying to be famous. My most cherished relationships are what matter. My beautiful family my husband and son, my closest friends. Knowing I have fans that care and love me the way I am. What matters is that no matter what I have the greatest love in my life and that I will not die alone.
As far as advice, for both guys and girls. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Period.
Do you really want to retire? Do you have a time frame in mind? Is there anyway we can talk you out of it?
I am not going away completely. I will continue to do daily shows on Streamate.com and shoot scenes for my website raylenelive.com which is getting ready to launch in a few weeks. I believe my time in this business has come and gone. I may shoot a scene here and there if it’s something I want to do. I still have a couple of shoots coming up that I m excited about, but yes I am going to stop actively looking to shoot. My timeline starts today, but you’ll still be able to find me 😉
NL-Raylene, being the talented professional mature beautiful adult actress she has always been, did this interview with me because she likes me, and any negatives that show up here, are because of me, and are certainly no reflection on her. If you want a gorgeous fan favorite to be in your next movie, you better grab Raylene quickly. Because with assholes like Greg around, Raylene might just decide that being a skilled attractive Real Estate Agent is much easier on her self esteem.
Hey Greg? I always offer both sides of the coin here. You want your opinion posted drop me a line. And BTW I just heard from two more stars who have something to say to you…