AVN VS NFL
(and/or WHY PORN CONVENTIONS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN SO DAMN CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS/NEW YEAR’S)
Op/Ed by Jeremy Steele
I had the most amazing weekend in Vegas during the AVN awards and porn convention this year: I watched two of the greatest games ever in football history, back to back, on Saturday, with two more games on Sunday (Philly fucked-up versus Greenbay, and before that, a not so amazing rout of Baltimore over Kansas City.). Most of games’ time were spent in my hotel room, which provided me the best seat in the house, creature comforts, and if necessary, room service!
Unfortunately, all of this left me little time to do anything else porn related, as Lucky and I arrived late Friday afternoon/early evening.
Luckily, Lucky took no interest in football and was at the convention and took a few photos for us while I stayed back at the hotel and watched FOOTBALL!
So was there something "wrong" with me spending my time in a hotel during the whole Vegas porn convention and awards ceremonies… OR was there something inherently wrong with the whole damn needless scenario of having to choose between AVN vs. NFL in the first place?
In retrospect, I have zero regrets because if I had it to do all over again I would have done exactly the same. The 7 and 9 Seattle Seahawks (worst record ever of any team making it into the playoffs) upset the defending champion New Orleans Saints in what was the most amazing, surprising and best quarterbacked games in Week One for sure, as well as one of the best in NFL history.
Afterwards, I got to cheer USC’s Mark Sanchez and his NY Jets defeat the great Hall-of-Famer to be, Payton Manning and his Colts, at home in Indianapolis. Following their 50 yard field goal, and with 53 seconds left in the game, the Colts kicked off. With a great run back, some great plays and a Colts coaching fuck-up towards the end of the game (which called an unnecessary time-out that even Payton himself clearly didn’t understand, giving the Jets extra time and stategy to concoct a win) lead to a field goal as time expired.
Both of these games ended in amazing, memorable fashion, including the historical Seahawks touchdown run towards the end of the game, eluding 8 tackle attempts. By the end of the day, both teams who were in last year’s Superbowl were surprisingly eliminated in the first round.
So what the hell do these (for some boring) Football details have anything to do with porn?: Not anything… but EVERYTHING!
Let’s get something straight, folks; This business is still ruled by straight guys (assuming the majority rules)! And if you don’t believe me then simply take a look at that recent LIB pic with all the fan bois lined up, waiting to get in!
And along side porn, the average Joe’s favorite pastime is: yes, you guessed it: FOOTBALL!
So, since this is the case, then why does the Adult convention unneccesarily put itself at odds with the all-American sport of Football by having both big events kick off the same weekend?
Granted, some may say there is plenty of time to watch your favorite team play and still get plenty of rounds at the convention. However, many hardcore fans of football prefer to watch all the games. In fact, I truly feel sorry for everyone who missed the Seahawks/Saints matchup because it certainly caused more males around the world to hoot, hollar and scream like madmen all at once, then the wildest moments in porn convention annals has ever had.
And please don’t tell me "Hey stupid, that’s what video recording devices are for"… not while your in Vegas during Playoffs, bay-be!… Besides I would challenge you to not find out what the scores were as you walk pass giant casino t.v. screens showing highlights, or riding
elevators as other football enthusiasts talk out loud about the big upsets.
The bottom line is that football fans, like porn fanbois, want to experience all the magic live! We’re not talking about a comic-book convention happening the same time as a porn convention. We’re talking about the two most popular things in America: Porn and Football
(and Beer, makes 3 but you can have that at anytime, in Vegas at least).
In addition to the AVN/NFL conundrum, there’s also the issue of porn conventions being too ridiculously close to the holidays,which for many are actually sacred and spiritual (or somewhat) get-togethers. Meanwhile, people are still reeling from all the money
spent buying gifts and traveling during bad weather. Christmas, and even New Years are supposed to be about God (if you believe), Love, Family, Friends and related and even magical, special times. All of that is about as anti-thetical as can be to the notion of going hogwild to scantilly clad porn stars and escorts roaming the halls of Sin City. I mean we’re talking about two completely different forms of "Ho Ho Ho" festivities, here, which should not be anywhere close to one another… otherwise you might as well make the AVN convention during the week of Christmas, itself!
If porn stars, producers and porn expo ticket sellers would actually like to make more money, then they should separate the two most popular forms of American entertainment from each other so that these two big events do not overlap and conflict with each other. When it comes to football playoffs season, that’s pretty all most men are thinking about … well at least for quite a bit. Surely, quite a few more fans would come out to Vegas if they weren’t so pre-occupied with who is going to go all the way in the big finale of American sports.
After all, it’s not by accident that all other sports big finales are called the "Superbowl of…" their respective game(s).
In lieu of the fact that fanbois are still likely reeling and recouperating from the cost of the Holidays, it should also be noted that there is too close a proximity along with too much of a contrast in essense between Holy Days (or Holidays) and Sin City days. I think February
(which is also Black History Month) would be perfect because its still a month away from Easter and a month further away from Christmas and New Years. You’d also have more black guys coming to Vegas to celebrate Black History Month, and so we could have some more cultural integration (mixing and mingling) between two groups, both which have in the past been segregated (or still are) in society.
Additionally, there would also likely free up more hotel rooms if porn and the busy beginnings of football playoffs were not concurrent.
By the way, last Saturday night, Lucky had passes for me to the AVN awards and wanted me to accompany her. I told her I was sorry but there was "no way" I could leave my television screen as the Jets Vs. the Colts game was still going on. Unfortuantely, it was necessary to be on the red carpet while the game was still going on. My sentiment, as nasty as it sounds was "Fuck That!"
Trust me, folks. It’s best not to make a mortal man have to choose between their team and a porn awards convention or awards cermony. Hopefully, in lieu of the tough financial times we already are collectively in, we should all reconsider the best way of maximizing our gains while in Vegas. In these tough times especially, man clings to his cathartic fantasies of manly football and professionally wild women. It would be best if we allow the big finale of Football’s Superbowl to segue into the Big Vegas Porn Star Experience!
Think about it. We can wait that long, can’t we? And it makes dollars and sense… doesn’t it?