Holly Randall Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Holly Randall's Convention Diary 1/10/06
Holly Randall Poses Nude? She writes 1/10/06 on her Suze.net chatboard: "Yes, I have been considering doing another shoot, and a little more nude since I've lost weight. I just haven't had the time to book it!" 2/3/06 Chatting The Day Away With Holly Randall HollyRandall: why don't you take your friend to Chinatown? Unable to get a date with Holly?
2/24/06 Why Would Holly Randall Pose Nude? Holly Randall and her mom Suze are elite in their tastes. They only shoot a couple of times a week and are selective in their choice of models. They have a rule that they won't shoot someone unless the models first sees them in person. Less than ten percent of the girls who come to them do Suze and Holly eventually shoot. It usually falls to Holly to explain to the model that she and her mom won't be shooting her (Kendra Jade and Mary Carey are examples of famous porn stars in the past that they elected not to shoot, though Suze shot Kendra this week and will probably shoot Mary in the coming weeks). One of Holly's favorite ways of explaining this is to say, "If I were a model, I wouldn't want to shoot me." I fell in love with Holly through her personality. She only became sexy to me after I got to know her. When she gains or loses 15-pounds, I am unmoved (unless she's sitting on me). If she became a paraplegic tomorrow, I'd love her just as much (though I expect the sex would be more difficult). So I'm cruising the redesigned Suze.net website and on the front page is a glamorous photo of Holly and she says: "From your favorite porn stars to naughty newcomers - if you've got a crush - we've got your girl! I guarantee you will love our site! Love, Holly Randall" And I think how rarely I've heard that l-word from Holly and here she is giving it out to anyone who will visit her stupid website. Air Supply would not approve. The internet can suck. The inference on suze.net is that by buying a membership, you can gain access to Holly's sweet sticky goodness. Miss Randall is a people-pleaser. She empathizes with models. She often says how glad she is that she is not a model. That she couldn't stand the constant rejection and critiques. Yet Holly is the new mascot on suze.net. Yet Holly has posted artistic nudes of herself on suze.net (and then removed them). Yet Holly has all the traits of the model. Her inner model is just under the surface always wanting to jump out and play (which is cool, Holly is fun, and has self-awareness and is not pompous, and has the most amazingly thick-skin, and is willing to laugh at herself). Holly loves the camera. She knows how to pose to make herself look best. She can look at pictures of herself for hours (just as I can write about myself for hours). (Holly says she does not spend hours looking at photos of herself.) Holly's always be more concerned about the photos I took of her than about what I wrote on her. I don't know any non-model who has published as many pictures of herself on the web as Holly has, just as Holly does not know anyone who has published as much about himself as I have on the net. (In the narcissism sweepstakes, I win.) My favorite photos of Holly are wholesome ones where she's wearing little make-up and not trying to strike a sexy pose. I like Holly best as a wholesome girl, not as a porny girl. But being the child of pornographers who has worked fulltime in porn for the past seven years, she's a porny girl. Almost all of her friends are in porn. It creeps me out that guys in particular are often trying to get Holly drunk, hitting on her, sending her pictures of their cocks, and getting her to strike such sexy photos as pushing her breasts together to maximize her cleavage (yes, Monstar, that's you). It creeps me out that so many guys (particularly members of suze.net) have pushed Holly to pose nude for public distribution. I've never taken naked photos of Holly (or any woman I've dated) and it horrifies me -- and simultaneously strikes me as absurdly funny -- that Holly may do this. I never told her this until after she told me that she was not going to do it because it would be bad for her image as the future CEO of suze.net. I think it sucks that she's the mascot for her own porn site but it is her life and her website and I don't bother her with my views in these matters (but rarely). I don't like having a woman who's close to me on public sexual display. I prefer to think of my woman (and I'm not claiming Holly as my woman, just using her here to make a point) as only having sex with me. (When a woman I love shares her body and soul with me, as well as provocative photos of herself, I find that exciting. When she shares that stuff with the world, I find it disturbing.) I'm 39 and I understand that I can not make real these fantasies. I've only rarely dated virgins and I don't seek them out. I can't remake a woman and therefore I've learned to detach myself from things where I can't make a difference. I don't think it does a woman good to pose nude and put her sexuality on display and make money from it. I understand there are numerous seeming exceptions of women, particularly Hollywood actresses, who've had flourishing careers after posing nude, I do wonder how many flourishing marriages they've had. Rather than empowering a woman, nude modelling will forever haunt her. She will cut herself off from at least 50% of humanity (not just the religious and not just Americans) who will not longer consider her real, but rather as a sexual object or freak. My views are not dominant today. More young women than ever (as a proportion) expose themselves. I think it sucks when women I care about dress and act like whores. I'm down for writing on whores as interesting material but I'm not down for incorporating them into my life. The more whorish the woman, the less I want her in my life. For me, there are two types of women -- women I want to marry and women I want to write about. (In this matter, and other things, Holly breaks my rules.) Dennis Prager wrote a two-part essay on women exposing themselves:
I despise the lies men tell women (and I've told many of them) to get them into bed or into the sex industry. I despise the "figure modelling" advertisements to lure women into porn. I despise the lies people tell themselves to justify behavior they should know is self-destructive. Here are some arguments given to Holly for posing nude: * It will increase signups to suze.net. One could argue (falsely) that Suze's success was largely based on her female perspective and that some of her greatest works were pictorials of herself (I don't know). She was not only the artist (pornography is the lowest form of art) but the subject as well (how profound). How wonderful it would be to see pictures of Holly exploring her sensuality (you can do this far better with fully-clothed photos). Blah, blah. It all comes down to horny men enticing Holly with appeals to her vanity. I think these arguments suck. I think the men making these arguments suck. And I think it sucks that women who should know better fall for this crap. I'll never forget what Nick East told me a decade ago: That he could never settle down with a porn girl because he doesn't want his spouse having sex with other men. "How would you feel walking into a party with a beautiful woman on your arm, knowing that every guy in there has f---ed her? Would you feel you were walking into the room with a treasure?" HollyRandall IMs me: you are such a s--- Chris writes: "More images of Holly on the internet. I count 1,000 images of Holly versus 713 of Luke." 2/27/06 HollyRandall: so if i make dinner 3/1/06 HollyRandall: i'm having one hell of a time trying to figure
out what to make The Joys Of Domestic Bliss 3/2/06 I call KB. "Holly cooked me dinner last night. She spent hours on it. She emailed my parents for a recipe." KB: "For Australian food?" Luke: "I'm finicky. I'm a vegetarian who doesn't like vegetables." KB's girl Katie is frying up bacon in the background. She says they just had sex in the closet. KB: "What did she cook you?" Luke: "Some lentil dish." KB laughs. Luke: "She probably spent five hours preparing it. It wasn't very good." Though dry, it was still 100 times better than what I could've made for myself. And the salad good. I asked to take the lentil leftovers home but she'd fed them to the dog. KB: "What did you get out of it?" Luke: "I got a headache. She was always calling and emailing me over the ingredients and over how much trouble this was causing her and how long it was taking her. We didn't get to eat until 9:30 pm." KB: "Maybe she's just not a cook." She's not used to cooking vegetarian without vegetables. Holly writes me: "You know, it didn't take me 5 hours to PREPARE the food-- you made me sound like I was slaving in the kitchen all that time (for a meal you didn't even enjoy), when you know I spent most of the time sitting in traffic and running from store to store to get all the ingredients. And I also find it interesting that you wouldn't admit to my face that you found the food a little dry, even though I said it was, but you'll tell the world on your site what a crappy cook I am." Amalek writes me: "I'm concerned that she is leading you down the slippery, well-lubed slope to both Paganism and omnivorism. I thought [her email] was sweet and yearning. She is trying so hard to please you and we both know how hard it is for the young woman to please the aging bachelor. Do you know how I know that you never totally committed to this Jewish business? Your diet. No real Jew eats like Adolf Hitler used to eat. Tell her it was me saying those nasty things. Blame Amalek. The Jews always do." Cindi Loftus writes me:
Must the Clock Start Ticking Already?
Holly Randall - Facilitator Of Destruction?
3/17/06 Holly and Kendra have many things in common (they love to read, they're blunt and funny, they are about the same age) aside from their adoration of me and they're trading email about hanging out. Holly has mastered spelling, punctuation and grammar. Kendra has not. Holly is organized while Kendra's flakey. Kendra's emotionally open while Holly is emotionally closed. Neither of them have female friends. Both of them surround themselves with guys they've slept with. Both of them are love addicts. Both are prone to affairs and love triangles. Both have most or all of their exes on their MySpace friends list. Both like having their hair pulled. Neither have married or had kids or been pregnant. Both are prone to depression. Kendra will take medication for it while Holly will not. Both like depressing music and literature. Both are prone to drinking heavily. Both are self-destructive, clumbsy and klutzy. Neither of them do hard drugs regularly but they have experimented with almost everything. Both of them take better care of others, at times, than they do of themselves. Both of them earn far more money than I do. Both are generous to degrees that boggle my mind. Both take on responsibility for their family and their younger siblings. Both of them have thick skins and have allowed me to write about them with a freedom that few other women have permitted me. Consequently I've written more about Kendra (the only three-dimensional female character in my memoir, "I don't see why you didn't end up with her?" says my friend Cathy, who writes a forward to my book) and Holly than any other women. A Sign Of The Apocalypse - Holly Randall's Dad Humphry Joins MySpace Holly messages me:
I checked Humphry's MySpace page and it says he's single. I wonder how his wife Suze Randall feels about that? Holly posts on Humphry's Myspace: "You better be on myspace to promote your book, dad. I could be suspicious about you trolling for young hotties but I know where you are at all times: either in the office, sitting by the pool, behind the bar, napping in your bedroom, or shopping at Albertson's. Then again, it did take you several hours just to pick up some toothpaste the other day." Raised By Porn Parents A religious friend writes me about Holly: "I am sorry that she was raised by porn parents. That is child abuse. As for her BA, some of the stupidest people I know have advanced degrees. I would be impressed if she chose a different professional path than that laid out by her parents. Alas, she merely trudged on in the well worn path and is, no doubt, carrying on the deeply rooted pathologies and I'm sure she is unhappy and incapable of a lasting loving relationship. Sad." Holly Randall responds:
My religious friend writes me:
6:34 p.m., 3/20/06. It's our first time speaking since the morning of March 2nd (before I made my fateful blog that forever blew us apart). When I see my caller ID, I answer the phone: "Are you stuck in traffic?" When Holly was stuck in traffic in the old days of six weeks ago or so, she'd often call me. Holly: "I'm driving 45 mph. "I know you'd say something like that." Luke: "I can't help it. I'm feeling good." Holly: "I'm calling to make sure you are going to be nice to my dad tomorrow." Luke: "I'll treat him like a delicate flower. "I just thought of another question I'm going to ask him." Holly: "Are you going to ask him about the role of Jews in the book?" Luke: "Depends on how we hit it off." Holly: "I remember you brought that up before." Luke: "To you." Holly: "Right." Luke: "How do you think he'd react?" Holly: "I don't know. He doesn't really talk..." Luke: "About the Jews and their nefarious influence on world finance?" Holly: "I don't think so." Luke: "I've got 40 or so questions. Depending on how it is going, I'll drop various questions in. "I think I'll title it, 'I talk to my future father-in-law Tuesday.'" Holly laughs. "That would get people to read it." Luke: "That's the purpose. I don't want it to be like my Dara Horn interview." Holly: "I never read it. You sent me the link. There was no tragedy in there?" Luke: "Yes. She's happy. She's not screwed up." Holly: "That's your problem. That never makes for a good story. "Is the LA Weekly piece out today? You said the 20th." Luke: "You so don't listen. I told you several times April 20th. I wrote several times April 20th." Holly: "I seem to put everything in March. I tried to put your birthday in March." Luke: "That's just one more thing that makes you endearing." Holly: "I have March madness." Luke: "You listen in spurts. You'll catch a number. "I interpret it all as a personal diss of me." Holly: "I got Your Life As Story today." Luke: "You really did get it. That's one thing I can no longer say about you. That's going to constrict my writing." Holly: "That was really nice what Devan said about me. "I'm starting to shoot content exchanges on the weekend. It's fun to do my own thing. I'm not pressured to sell it to magazines. The girls are into it because they need it too. It's a good deal for the models. We pay for anything and then give them content." Luke: "You're like a good Samaritan." Holly: "I bang out anywhere between three to seven sets in a day." Luke: "Is there any difference in the shooting style that you use?" Holly: "When I shot Crystal Klein this weekend, we got to do some fun experimental lighting." Luke: "How do these special effects make her vagina look?" Holly: "It's not for her vagina. It just throws an interesting pattern of light on the whole person. "Every girl calls her pussy something different." Luke: "You haven't given me any keys to opening up your father's stony cold heart?" Holly: "I haven't given you any keys to opening up my stony cold heart?" Luke: "Your father's. I've given up on yours." Holly: "That's wise. Smart move. I don't blame you. "My dad is very much like me. You're not going to be able to get in there." Luke: "I'll use the techniques that have worked so wonderfully on you and transfer them over to him. You don't have any tips?" Holly: "You are the professional interviewer." Luke: "But you are the fruit of his loins. "The book is only a pretext to open him up." Holly: "You better not ask him any mean questions. I don't trust you." Luke: "What a slam. Let me pull myself off the floor and try to face life again and look at things in a new way and try to understand where I've gone wrong to engender such hostility in others when I've only meant to serve. "How's your ankle?" Holly: "Much better." Luke: "How many positions can you do?" Holly: "Haha. "I'm pissed because I won't be able to exercise for a while..." Luke: "You're really going to..." Holly: "Yes, I'm going to gain enormous amounts of weight. "It's not that that I'm worried about. I need to exercise for my sanity." Luke: "Are you staying on the program?" Holly: "The nutrition program or the no-drinking program?" Luke: "No-drinking." Holly: "Yes. You didn't believe me?" Luke: "I wasn't sure you would do it. Almost a month." Holly's shooting Tiffany Rayne and Nick Blue Tuesday. Luke: "Does Nick say that his hero is a dead Austrian painter?" Holly laughs. "He hasn't filled out the model quiz. I don't know who his heroes are. "One of our models listed one of her heroes as Mona Lisa." Luke: "That's what I love about porn. People are so honest. Send me a copy of your model quiz." Holly: "That would be funny. I added questions like, 'What were you like in highschool?' Aria Giavanni was introverted in highschool. "I like the questions that Rookiebabes pose to their girls. I don't know if they make up the girls' responses. Sometimes the girls will write such crap that I can't use it." Holly might shoot some solo male layouts. "Men are more difficult to photograph. Women are more fluid and more flexible and men are boxy and square. Gay men are good at shooting men. "This guy shot Jude Law at our house for Vanity Fair. I was so bummed that I was at school that day. I wanted to meet the photographer, not so much Jude Law. There were pictures of Jude hanging out with our dogs." Holly wants the gory details on an adult friend of mine who got circumsized to convert to Judaism. Holly and I agree that vaginal reconstruction surgery is generally a crazy idea. I ask Holly if she's going to the doctor for her ankle. Holly: "No. There's nothing they can do. I'm going to ice it and wrap it and elevate it. "This morning I was crying." Luke: "How many people did it take to carry you?" Holly: "Very funny. Two, one on each arm. I could hobble on one foot." Luke: "Were they bodybuilders?" Holly: "One of them was my trainer. He took the heavy end. We all know what end that is. "I was out in the middle of the soccer field. My trainer put me down on a mat. He carries around an emergency kit. He elevated my foot and made me ice it." Luke: "Did you love it, being carried around by men and cared for?" Holly: "No. I felt like a dumbass. "I had just started the workout. I was jogging along. It was really nice out. I'm thinking I wasn't getting as tired as quickly as I thought I would. I feel good. I'm glad I'm out here this morning. Everything was going great. Then boom, crash. I stepped on a pinecone." Crystal Klein and her fiance Rich have been staying with Holly since last Thursday. Hobbling up the steps, carrying dogfood, Holly hands over the phone to Crystal. Luke: "Is she getting you high every day?" On New Year's Eve, Holly got Crystal high and the poor girl was knocked out for hours and had a split headache. Holly is a heavy stoner and so she was barely buzzed. Crystal says she's not getting high this trip. Luke: "Has she cooked for you?" Crystal: "No." Crystal's annoyed that I labelled a bunch of photos of Jamie Lynn in Las Vegas as "Crystal Klein." Luke: "All you hos blur together." Crystal: "Between Holly and me, who do you think was the bulldyke and who was the lipstick lesbian?" Crystal claims that the members of her website crystalklein.com know "I'm smart. I have smart members, if you can say about members of a porn site. They're smart. They're not working class. They respect me." Luke: "They respect you for what?" Crystal: "For being smart. "There's no bad talking on my message boards. "You've wrecked Holly for me. "If you knew what I know about you. She broke you. I know what you called her in bed. Your morals have changed." Luke: "That's her fault. She made me use language in bed that I have never used before. I've never degraded a woman in bed before or pulled her hair or called her degrading names and made her do degrading things. I've never slapped a woman before or bit her." I am shocked and appalled that my most private confidences with Holly have been violated. I just don't feel safe anymore having emotionally unprotected sex. Crystal: "I love it, Luke. Call me something dirty." Luke: "I can't. I'm never going there again. It's not my true self." Crystal: "That is your true self and you're just shocked about that." Luke: "I am never going to act like that again." Crystal: "Yes you are. If Holly said, 'Come on over. Slap me in the face and call me a whore.'" Luke: "I would say no. 'I am distancing myself because this is not what God wants for our lives.' "You think I'm driven by my penis? That if Holly gave me the time of day, I'd be over there trying to stick it inside of her?" Crystal laughs. "You're talking dirty already." Luke: "I was trying to make a moral point about the degradation of women in our society and how I am opposed to it." Crystal: "I should write a story about you. It's fascinating. I want to bring in my point of view. "I am not as dirty as Holly but I'm certainly dirtier than you." Luke: "Holly is a dirty little whore." Crystal: "You just said it again." Luke: "I don't like using that language. It's not the real me." Crystal: "If you haven't used that language before does not mean it is not the real you. "You strike me as the type of guy who restrains himself. "Come on my couch. I'm going to help you. I've helped a lot of people. I'm really clever when it comes to that. I have a lot of empathy. I get people. I just need to find out a little bit more about you." Luke: "Would you help me be the true man that I know I can be?" Crystal: "Can you not be sarcastic for once?" Luke: "Can you explain Holly to me?" Crystal: "Yes, I could, but not right now." 4/1/06 Holly Randall Visits The Hovel Holly emails me Saturday:
Holly finally shows up at 10:11 p.m. Saturday with her new SUV. She writes on suze.net:
Holly sold her old SUV at half price to a friend in need. She's always doing things of unbelievable generosity. When I dated her, her generosity to men (insisting on throwing an ex-boyfriend a birthday party etc) would sometimes threaten my feelings of security about the unilateral nature of her affections. She feels so many obligations to so many people that she gets overwhelmed. My obligations are few and clear. I want to lecture her about priorities but then I become awed by her kindness and I shut up. Saturday night Holly brings two boxes of her photography work from highschool, lentil and tomato-basil soups, a container of sour cream, a copy of her dad's 1972 book The Dominant Man: The pecking order in human society and half a packet of chocolate-covered raisins. I refuse the raisins so Holly finishes them. It's her dinner. I make her lemon zinger herbal tea. She asks for two bags. She likes it strong. She sits on the floor. I looks through her photos. Then I get her to give me an interview about being asked to pose nude when she was 14. I give her my digital tape recorder and move it close to her mouth. Holly: "I have to hold it?" I nod. Holly: "Hi machine that I will regret saying words to later." We laugh. Luke: "When did you first want to become a model?" Holly: "Oh God. You know I'm terrible at remembering exactly what age... "Yeah, my mother was a model. When I was much much younger, I wanted to be a veterinarian. But I was always fascinated with photos and fashion magazines and the images of beautiful girls and exotic settings." Holly reached her height of 5'7" when she was 12, about the time she was first told that she had "a nice ass" -- a comment that persists to this day. Holly: "There was a contest for YM (Young & Modern) magazine. I still have it. I wanted to enter... Are you going to take photos of me with this?" As she starts talking, I assemble my camera and start taking photos. She puts down the tape recorder. I ask her to hold it close to her mouth. She refuses. Holly: "I blinked in one of them." I play the photos back. Holly: "Do I still get editing rights?" Luke: "Yes." We erase a couple of photos. Then I put her on my chair by my computer. Luke: "How do I get you in focus and the Jerusalem poster in focus at the same time?" Holly: "You need a large depth of field." I give up on that. I give her the latest issue of Brooklyn's Orthodox weekly The Jewish Press. She hates it. She doesn't want to pose with it. She has no interest in the things of God. I try to give her The Consolation of Philosophy. Holly: "I'm not going to pose with that and be like all the porn stars you photographed. If I had read the book, I'd pose with it." I give her the consolation of my attention and we finish the interview about photographer Rich Leon. Holly: "Rich claimed he was Domonique Swain's agent and got her the lead in the remake of Lolita. "I ran into him in Malibu six weeks ago. "I was hanging out in front of Ben & Jerry's in Malibu [at age 14 when she was 125 pounds, about 15 pounds less than she is now] as I always did with my friends on the weekend. He came over to us once. He told me that he thought I was very pretty and had I considered modeling. That he had connections. He was an agent. He'd get me on the cover of Seventeen magazine. "You tell a 14-year old girl that and she's like, 'Yay.' You're so stupid you think the guy is legit. He's the creepiest looking person I've ever seen. "I said, 'OK. Let me talk to my parents about this.' I talked to my mother about it. She was dead-set against it. My mother has never encouraged me to model because she was a model. She warned me that it was a brutal job. There's a lot of rejection. It's very hard going on a lot of auditions and not getting jobs. So few make it. The rest struggle. It's damaging for your self-esteem. "But I insisted and insisted. Finally she agreed to let this guy photograph me. He wanted to take test shots of me to send in. But only at my parents' house. "I refused to let my mother be there watching. She and my father were home but I wouldn't let them follow us around the property and watch while he shot me because I'd be too embarrassed. At that age, you don't want your parents involved in anything. "I'd seen my mother's photography. My mom had had one of her assistants help me out on a shoot and teach me stuff and light stuff for me. I had friends. We played in the studio. She made sure all the porn was put away. I knew something about equipment. "He came over with just this rinky dinky camera. I remember being surprised. I thought he was this professional photographer. We took the photographs. He kept trying to get what he called a panty shot. "He would put me in dresses. I was wearing underwear. He'd try to get me to open my legs in such a way that you would get that suggestive panty shot. "He was taking photos of me in this little pink dollhouse. He said, 'Open your legs wider. Let's get a panty shot.' I said, 'I don't think so.' I didn't know how to say no but I pretty much said no. "He got me to wear this see-through dress with only my underwear underneath. He tried to get me to take the underwear off. Then he told me he wanted to shoot me naked on a gravestone with just a scarf. "I remember the last part of the shoot, the last look, we were shooting against this wall. I was getting more nervous. He was making me feel so uncomfortable. "He was this beer-bellied guy in his mid fifties and he had acne scars and slightly cross-eyed and he comes up to me and takes my face..." Holly scoots up and takes my face in her hand and squeezes me cheeks. She stares in my eyes like a creep. Holly: "He said, 'Feel your beauty. Feel it come out of you. Loosen up.' "It was such a horrific experience. Finally he left. My mom did not like him at all. When he left, she said to me, 'I do not want you to have anything to do with that guy.' "He had this old beat-up white Cadillac. Everything was in the trunk. It was full of all this s---. He was obviously such a poseur. "Then he came back with a book full of photographs. He said he wouldn't charge us because he wasn't happy with the way the photos turned out. "He had never said anything about charging us in the first place. He said he wanted to shoot me to submit me, not that I had to pay him for it. "The photographs were horrible. They were horribly lit. He had this strong flash-on-camera that made my face look red and shiny and brought out every single blemish. I looked nervous." JMT writes me: "Intentional or unintentional homage to Rich Leon? My $300 Pentax-that-fits-in-an-Altoids-tin takes better pictures than this, in Fully Dummy Auto-Everything mode." Holly: "The photos are at my parents' house. "He showed his portfolio afterwards. It was basically 12-year-old girls in bikinis. "I still see him in Malibu. I imagine he's still doing the same things. "He shot the younger sister of my friend Katie. She had the same creepy experience wtih him. "That whole thing pushed me towards photography. I thought that if this asshole could make a living doing this, I could do much better. I would make it such a better experience for the girls. It shouldn't be this old man leering." Holly shot children for the Ford modeling agency a couple of times. Luke: "If you could make equal money shoot kids for Ford or doing what you do now, which would you choose?" Holly: "Doing what I do now. I love sexuality. I love making women look beautiful. Porn girls are far easier to work with than kids." Luke: "How often do you have girls refuse your photo shoot requests?" Holly: "I've only been turned down a few times for photo shoots -- and it was always because they didn't want to do explicit work or be associated with a website that does. I totally understand." We sit back and sip our tea. Holly talks about putting her dog Poe on anti-anxiety medication. Luke: "But you won't go on such medication." Holly: "Even at my worst, I don't bite people." At 11 p.m. she leaves. I give her a chaste peck on the cheek. Our honor remains in tact. Super strokeworthy pic of Holly Randall Holly replies: "Yeah but my MOM is in the shot! Doesn't that kill the eroticism a bit?" Zenman responds: "I can visually crop her out." Holly writes: "As naughty as a girl that I am, I was nothing compared to my mom in her day, that's true! My sister is much better behaved than I am-- I'm the "wild child" in the family. "I think I'm the least attractive sibling, in all honesty. You should see my brother-- he's a hottie! When Lanny Barby was staying with me, she tried to get him to snuggle with her (he has a girlfriend so he politely declined-- plus he's shy), and Cassidey Rae was asking me about him the other day. My sister is 19, in college and thinking about majoring in Anthropology... oh and she hates modeling now, I really had to twist her arm to do that photo shoot." Suze Randall Suze Randall Suze Randall Holly Randall: Don't read this because I don't want you to know me
Penthouse Pet Crystal Klein Counsels Photographer Holly Randall Crystal writes to Holly's blog entry about pushing people away:
4/17/06 Mondays With Holly Movie of Holly Randall's Secret Garden, yes she read that Nancy Friday book, I direct the bitch and make her to shake it for my audience Holly munches on cilantro Holly Holly Holly Movie of Holly with her dog Poe and her big ass Honey Bear 1:15 p.m. She shows me her vegetable garden. I love it when she takes on wholesome hobbies. It's such a change from the pornographic filth that normally fills her depraved existence. Then she takes me to lunch at Lula's on Main St in Santa Monica. It's where we ate on Oct 30 before we first did the deed. Holly again orders shrimp fajitas. I again order a vegetarian tostada. "Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs Randall?" I think. I tease her about the low intellectual level of posters to her MySpace page and suze.net Holly forum. Since buying her new Volvo SUV, Holly does not like being driven. Not on the road anyway. She has an S-M thing in her personal life, which makes her a better fetish photographer, she says. She shows me photos of her shoots with Charlie Laine and Lexxi Tyler as well as Angie Savage and Alektra Blue. I understand that some men find these things erotic but I'd rather dive into a good book. "Holly shoots violence against women is my headline," I say as I look at her photo shoot. "It's all in good fun," Holly claims. Lexxi has taken a nipple clamp to Charlie's vagina. I ask Holly how she would like that done to her. She wouldn't. That's one of the rare things that hasn't been done to her. Luke: "How could you choose to have that done to someone else?" Holly: "Because I'm a pervert. Lexxi presents Charlie with a tray of toys and Charlie has to pick her punishment. She picks the clamp." Luke: "So it's got a story?" Holly: "Yeah. That's why I like shooting fetish. It always has some kind of story. "I said let's use the clamp on her nipples and Charlie says, use it on my pussy, it doesn't hurt at all. I thought it would be painful." Holly loves a photo where the two girls look in the mirror. "My whole thing here -- Look at yourself in the mirror, bitch," says Holly, channeling Lexxi Tyler. "Look at what a whore you are. I'm going to beat you up. It's hot." I can see Holly's getting worked up and I start praying to God that I can leave her house with my newfound chastity intact. What would I ever say to my wife on my wedding day if I were weak now? Luke: "Where do you find meaning in your work?" Holly: "This shoot. Emma did the make-up. Angie Savage looked amazing. Alektra Blue looked at these pictures after I had taken them and was so excited about how good she looked. She said, 'I've always wanted to model since I was a little girl and this is the first time I've ever looked the way I've envisioned I look. "She was was so excited about the way she looked, for me that's the best part." Luke: "Does it matter when you cut off their elbow [in a shot]?" Holly: "Oh yeah, that's a bad shot. This is not edited." Luke: "How do you bring out her [Alektra's] inner beauty like that?" Holly laughs. "Make her feel confident and sexy." Luke: "How do you do that?" Holly: "Make them look good with an excellent make-up job and lighting and styling." Luke: "Did you do your own lighting on this?" Holly: "Did I do it myself?" Luke: "No, you had an assistant." Holly: "Yeah, this is a full day." Luke: "On a content exchange?" Holly: "I have an assistant. I did it that one time with Aimee Sweet and it killed me. If I'm going to shoot five sets in a day, I'm going to need help. But we sit there and contemplate the way we're going to light it together." Luke: "So you have ideas too about lighting?" Holly: "Yes, I do. Screw you! I know what I'm doing, dickwad!" She punches me. She punches like her mother. Luke: "That's not what I read on this thread." Holly: "That is [bad word]. "Anyone who's a professional photographer knows that you have to have an assistant." Luke: "Who's that?" Holly: "Angie Savage. I made her get [an artificial] tan." Luke: "What else did you make her do that she's never done before? Did you make her do that pose?" I point to one where she's spreading her legs. Holly: "Yes, she's never done that before. This is a centerfold for High Society." Luke: "How about working with children?" Holly: "I already have. They're a pain in the ass." Luke: "Where did she get those tits?" Holly: "I don't know her doctor." Luke: "What do you think she's thinking about when she's posing like that?" Angie has her mouth and legs open. Holly: "She's thinking if she's looking good and what she'll have for dinner tonight." Luke: "That's not what I'm thinking about with her picture." Holly: "Well, that's all I have to show you." Subtext: Get the hell out of my house, creep! I see a photo that reminds me of something. I email Holly's dad Mr Knipe:
Humphry replies:
Holly's mom Suze Randall has been nominated for a FAME Best Director award, even though she hasn't directed a movie since the 1980s. Isn't America a great country? Did Suze Randall ever do porn? No. She posed nude a few times but never had sex on camera. Nietzsche writes on ADT: "I want to see her daughter Holly in some serious American Bukkake or Gag Factor action. She's prime stroke material." Junglew writes: "I have never seen any...hardcore photos of Susie although she does bear a remarkable likeness to Aunt Peg of the 80's but no cake. The photo quality of Suze's movies is remarkable. The hair, makeup and attention to details in the models is amazing." Cumwhipper writes: "After seeing pics of Holly, I must concur with your sentiments. I realize that you have squatter's rights, but can you please save some real estate on that gorgeous visage for my pearly white love bullets?" Holly Randall writes on ADT:
I Read A Novel That Reminds Me Of Holly Binnie Kirshenbaum writes in A Disturbance in One Place about a married woman who carries on simultaneous affairs with a professor, a multi-media artist and the love of her life:
4/19/06 Holly Randall Emails Me: 'See! I'm Healthy!' She sends me the following news story: "Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent..." I'm glad to hear Holly's swallowing semen by the gallon. If you would like a free blowjob, just email her at hollyrandall@suze.net. Meanwhile, I'm home alone reading The Purpose Driven Life. The next time I get head it's going to be special in a way that secular people such as Holly will never understand. Life is a narrow bridge. The most important thing is not to be afraid. David writes: "On the behalf of men everywhere, thanks for helping get the word out on that." Holly writes:
Holly Randall Part One Part Two Part Three
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