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7/15/05

Rob Spallone Ditches Me

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"Supermodels are beautiful girls, Will. A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. Se can make you feel high with the single greatest commodity known to man--promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gaze of a beautiful girl. In her smile, in her soul, how she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay. The supermodels are bottled promise. A beautiful girl is all powerful, and that's as good as love."

My life is usually bleak, just stern moral obligation after stern moral obligation. But into every life a little sun must shine, and for me that comes when I get to step onto Rob Spallone's sets filled with beautiful girls.

Friday morning I went to Rob's production of Lesbian Swirlfest 20.

"What's the matter with your hair?" asks Rob.

"I've been saving money by cutting it myself," I reply. "I just trim the front whenever it gets in my eyes and trim the sides."

"If I give you $10, will you get a proper haircut?"

"Sure."

Rob gives me $10.

"You better get that haircut," he says. "Remember when I gave you $20 two years ago to get HBO?"

"So it took me 18 months to finally get HBO. I got someone else to pay for it."

Rob instructs me on the haircut I should get: "Get a four on the side, five on the back, and get the top to go straight back, not stand up. Then you'll look like me."

Rob talks about his divorce: "Three weeks ago, I took my boys to the track on a Sunday. Jack (from Legend), Bobby, and a few people own a race horse.

"I walk into court that Tuesday after the Sunday. Her lawyer says, you take your kids to the race track?

"I said, yes, I take my kids to the race track. My little son won $36.

"I go to court the following Friday. The lady judge gets up there and says, I don't want you to take your kids to the race track ever or to a porno shoot.

"I would never take my boys to a porno shoot. I've taken my kids to the race track about five times.

"I wanted to talk but they wouldn't let me. Race tracks are for kids. In the middle of the field there are rides, ferris wheels... A casino, you can't take your kid in. Race tracks are for families."

Rob's frustrated that talent aren't showing up as scheduled. "We should follow Jim Holliday's example," Rob says. "Ask for a deposit from the talent. They ain't going to want to lose money."

Rob has Kenny, the production manager, shoot video of Rob talking. Rob's going to have it all edited together and pitched to HBO as a reality show.

Rob: "Ninety nine percent of girls in this business have no money [because of their bad money management skills]. They make that money so fast, that's why they don't have any money. I'm shooting nine girls today. Four out of the nine I have to deduct $100 because somebody else paid for their AIDS test."

Annie Body largely agrees with Rob's assessment.

Rob has no money either. He has to pay his wife $733 a month child support. She originally asked for about $8,000.

Rob: "It's now 10:30am. We were supposed to start at 9am. One girl showed up on time.

"There are guys in this business [Peter Davy] who drive Rolls Royces leased at $1,500 a month and they don't have money to put gas in their car.

"A girl's life is ruined once she comes in this business. They're never going to make this kind of money [again]."

Annie says she was making $22 an hour as a welder before she got into sex work.

Rob: "The average 18-22yo girl makes about $400 a week. If she walks into the [porn] door, she can make $25,000 the first month. About $15,000 the next month. Then $10,000.

"What did she do with this money? She bought a car. She leased an apartment. Now the money's not there. Where can these girls go and make $1,000 a day? There aren't many people on the planet who can make $1,000 a day.

"The girls don't last as long [now]. They end up hooking."

There's a bigger emphasis in the industry these days on fresh meat. There are few porn stars anymore.

Annie: "Most of the girls get married."

Rob: "To a suitcase pimp. How many of these girls marry a regular guy? Ninety percent of these guys, if they weren't in this business, couldn't even get laid."

Duke: "What's the most amount of money you've paid for a hooker?"

Rob: "I've never had a hooker. Do I look like I need a hooker?

"People think I have the greatest job in the world being around pretty women. It sucks. All I want to do is finish. Where would I rather be than doing a porno? Anywhere. A prison cell."

Annie: "If you could do anything?"

Rob: "I'd be sitting on the beach with two girls feeding me."

Annie: "Being in porn, you're not that far from it."

The girl, Gabriela Dreams, shows up at 10:45am. Rob wheels her suitcase in.

Rob: "I've got to shoot a hairy movie next week."

Annie Body has hair under her arms and abundant hair lower down.

"I'm told that I'm the last of a dying breed," says Annie. "You can blame Rodney Moore for this because I used to shave everything."

Rob: "If this does get picked up, I have a feeling someone will hire me every week to shoot a movie, and HBO will hire me to shoot me shooting a movie."

Ron picks up a light stand.

"Jerry [Lewis], what are you doing?" asks Rob. "It would be very sad for me if you died. If you [Duke Floored] died, I'd be over it.

"Ron, I hope to die before you because I don't want to go to your funeral. I'd rather you talked at my funeral than I talked at your's."

Kenny asks if the crew is going to get lunch today.

Rob gives him $20.

I give Rob a hard time for being cheap.

"That's not enough for three people at McDonalds?" Rob asks.

As the talent comes in, Rob asks them to hang around to do a strap-on scene with Trinity James. All black girls taking it to Trinity. He pays them $100 each for 40-minutes of footage.

A few weeks ago, Rob shot a similar scene with a white guy wearing a Klu Klux Klan outfit absorbing it from a bunch of black girls. That part and a lot of other parts were cut from the released tape.

I ask World Modeling driver Josh if the girls ever give him sexual favors in exchange for rides. He says he prefers the cash.

Josh says he did the flash intro to Gauge's site and she offered to pay him with a girl. He said he preferred the money.

Str8-Up studio manager Matt Prior has stopped drinking and he's dropped 15 pounds.

Kenny notes that Rob is going backwards in his car selection. He used to drive a Mercedes. Now it's a Cadillac.

Trinity James (from Barstow) has broken up with her longtime boyfriend Kevin. She's bought a house in Las Vegas and works at the Chicken Ranch in Reno.

Rob says he had to go to an important industry barbeque. He can't take me.

I say I'll follow him.

I jump in his car. He says he's going to take me on a death ride. He roars out of the driveway. I plead I'm scared and he lets me out. I run to my vehicle to chase him.

He says I'll never catch him. And he's right. He ditches me quickly and I go straight home (what's the point of hanging out on a Rob-less set?) at noon (after one hour on set and two hours of driving back and forth).