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Donovan Phillips - The Gentile Pornographer Who Studies Kabbalah

He uses the sacred Zohar as a backdrop for some of his photo-sets. GFY thread.

I interviewed him by phone Sunday, June 19, 2005, starting at 9:19pm.

I've long read his posts on GFY because they are usually coherent and correctly spelled and punctuated (a rarity on industry forums).

Donny's father was an Assembly of God (fast-growing strict fundamentalist form of evangelical Christianity) pastor.

Donny, born in 1973 (he has a younger brother who used to work for Donny's porn operation): "I went to all the church services and I tried to go along with it but something didn't seem right.

"I went to a summer camp where boys and girls had to swim separately [it's the same for most parts of Orthodox Judaism]. The boys would have to swim in jeans and a full shirt. Girls would have to swim in full dresses."

Luke: "Were you allowed to watch television?"

Donny: "No. I didn't have a TV [until her moved in with his aunt at age 17].

"My parents became Christians when I was five [to try to save their marriage, they eventually divorced when Donny was 26]. My dad studied to become a pastor [that began when Donny was seven]. They kept getting deeper into it.

"I grew up all over California because my dad was a pastor, he was moved from church to church.

"I don't have bad feelings towards my parents. They did the best they could. I have bad feelings towards church people who caused problems when I was growing up. They would cause petty problems because they wanted to run things and my dad wouldn't let them run the church how they wanted. They'd say my dad wasn't Pentecostal enough.

"Pastors get paid from tithing. One family controlled the church's books. They tried to underreport how much tithing came in and tried to starve him out. Some people would claim we were having teenage girls over to our house. None of it was true. Nobody ever came over to our house."

Luke: "Did you form any close childhood friendships with Christians that persist to this day?"

Donovan: "No. My parents were so mistrusting of other people that they wouldn't let us go spend the night with people in the church. They thought the people would let us watch TV or listen to music. Most of our acquaintances were family members."

Luke: "Did your parents get into religion because they were hurting or screwed up?"

Donovan: "Yes. They were about to get divorced. They said, we've tried everything else. Now let's try God. Then they just got deeper and deeper. We went to holy roller churches where people shake on the ground."

Luke: "Did your parents have a good marriage?"

Donovan: "No. They were fighting all the time."

Luke: "Even after they turned to God?"

Donovan: "Yes."

Luke: "What was the main bone of contention?"

Donovan: "My mother is really stubborn and she would like to be more hard-nosed than my dad was. She thought he needed to be stricter with people. That he let certain congregation members get away with too much. My dad was more laid-back.

"They'd be fighting over whether or not my brother and I respected her enough and all that kind of crap. He would stick up for us. She'd throw fits over him not sticking up for his wife. Every so often, she'd leave for a couple of days and make him beg for to come back."

Luke: "Were you glad when they divorced?"

Donovan: "I was happy for my dad even though he was really sad about it. My mom's hard to live with."

Luke: "What did your parents and your religion teach you about masturbation?"

Donovan: "They mentioned some verse in the Bible that you're not supposed to spill your seed on the ground. Masturbation was wrong. They didn't say that sex was only for procreation."

Luke: "How old were you when you first masturbated?"

Donovan: "Thirteen. I felt guilty afterwards.

"I was at my aunt's house. I had climbed under her house to fix some pipes that were leaking. At the end of the night, I was on the floor in the living room and I just by accident brushed my hand across myself. Wow. I finished it from there."

Luke: "Did it make a mess?"

Donovan: "Oh yeah."

Luke: "Did it go shooting across the room?"

Donovan: "It went shooting all over my stomach."

Luke: "What were your earliest experiences with pornography?"

Donovan: "There was this one person I was allowed to hang with from time to time. His parents had been counselors for my parents. Their son and I were walking in the park and we found a girlie magazine in the garbage. I was 13. I remember it was calling a woman's pussy a 'lotus.'

"After that, I'd start sneaking off to the liquor store and check out their stash. The store owners would never say anything. At the beginning, I'd like Oriental women who were shaved bald.

"When I was 17, I moved in with my aunt near Chico so I could take calculus and have a better chance at a scholarship. I met the woman who became my wife. We started dating after a couple of weeks. There was no sex. I didn't even kiss her for five weeks.

"After I got out of college, I came back here."

Luke: "Did you go to college?"

Donovan: "I majored in computer science at the Devry Institute of Technology in Phoenix."

Luke: "When did you lose your virginity?"

Donovan: "Not until I was 20, and it wasn't even to her. It was to a girl I'd met in Orlando. She found out I was a virgin, so she kept trying and trying until I finally gave in.

"My future wife and I were still dating at the time. I called her and got to the part about kissing the other girl and that's all she wanted to hear. We were broken up for a while.

"I got married when I was 22. We got divorced in 2000 after six years of marriage."

Though married to a good Christian Assembly of God wife, Donovan got into pornography in 1996, while he was still going to church regularly. He kept it from his wife for four years until the Phoenix Forum in early 2000 when he called her and told her the truth. She promptly divorced him. It was either God's way or the highway.

"I got my first computer in 1996. I started surfing the newsgroups. I started seeing brands on there like ATK, Teenflood.com, etc. I started emailing some of those sites and asked them where they purchased their photos.

"Before that, I started part-time taking pictures of whoever I could get to pose. I'd pay 'em for it. I had a few private collectors who would buy them. My first commercial job was for ATK."

Luke: "How did your wife feel about you working in the pornography industry?"

Donovan: "She didn't know. We thought we were deeply in debt at this time. We had about $8,000 in debt. One day I said to her, 'I know a way to get us out of debt. What do you think if I photograph some girls for some adult websites?' She freaked out at even the thought of me considering that. Little did she know that I was already starting to do it. I just kept it from her. I started up a computing consulting business as a front.

"She was just as religious as my parents had been. We fought over stupid things. If I wanted to watch a movie that was rated R, she would get mad at me for not being the spiritual leader of the house. That I wanted to watch such a movie showed that my head wasn't there. We fought about the spiritual stuff."

Luke: "Where were you religiously [Assembly of God] then?"

Donovan: "Off and on, I'd try really hard. It would fluctuate. I'd go from shooting porn to going to church on Sundays and raising my hands and trying to get into to going to Bible study Wednesday 6am with the men's group."

Luke: "Did you have many friends in the church?"

Donovan: "They claim to be your friends but they're quick to backstab you if they don't think it's right."

Luke: "In retrospect, you don't think they were good friends?"

Donovan: "No. They probably thought they were. They're the kind of people who will turn their back on you if you're failing and you're not willing to come in and cry and beg forgiveness. They don't think your heart is in the right place. They believe in that verse in the Bible -- 'Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers.'"

Luke: "Do you believe in God?"

Donovan: "I believe that what everybody refers to as God is actually energy that holds everything together."

Luke: "God's not done with you yet."

Donovan: "I think that's a bunch of bulls---. It's just people trying to create some hope for themselves that their lives are going to get better because God hasn't finished with them yet.

"There's no way I'll ever go back to [Christianity]. It's all bulls---. There's no supreme being watching out over everybody."

Luke: "How does it work being a parent and a pornographer?"

Donovan: "It's been ok. On my days with my son, I don't do any business. I don't even take phone calls. On the days when my ex has him, I do all my business.

"At first she didn't want to take money from me. But she had no choice because she wasn't working. She was a stay-at-home mom. Finally, I convinced her, in her terms, that while I may make the money in a way she thinks is evil, she can do good with it by staying home with her son and raising him.

"I have a fiancee now who helps me with the business. On days that I'm going over to get him, she checks to make sure that everything is clean."

Luke: "How does your ex-wife feel about your profession?"

Donovan: "She still hates it."

Luke: "How did she find out?"

Donovan: "When I went to my first Desert Forum (CCBill throws it), I called her and told her. She thought I was doing computer consulting with Gary Kremen on pinpointgolfing.com. 'But that's not the area he focuses on. He also owns sex.com. I shoot naked girls.'

"She just blew up and that was it."

Luke: "Pornography ended your marriage."

Donovan: "Yes, it did. For sure. It was a relief, though, to tell her."

Luke: "If you had not worked in pornography, would you guys still be together?"

Donovan: "If I had been a good Christian boy, we would've. Not fought my feelings that there was something wrong with Christianity.

"Porn has allowed me to do a lot of traveling and meet a lot of different people. I was a hardcore Republican for several years while doing porn. At the last election, I voted for Kerry."

Luke: "Have you found that pornography isolates you from others?"

Donovan: "At first I let it get me down. Now I'm proud. Every where I go, when people ask me what I do, I tell them.

"It blows most people away when you are so outfront with it. Some people want to discuss the issue. I always ask them if they want to discuss it logically or emotionally. They always say logically. Usually women don't want to talk about it. Usually they want their man to do the talking for them.

"I'll ask the man if he's ever watched pornography. Of course he'll say yes. I'll say, then we don't have anything to discuss. You're in this as much as me. You're the demand and I'm the supply. If they're logical as they've agreed to be, then there's no argument to that.

"I was walking around with AaronM (industry photographer) today. He was shocked how many people walked up to me. In the camera store, they know what I do. He said, I couldn't deal with everybody knowing what I do."

Luke: "Why don't you use your real name?"

Donovan: "For the sake of my son."

Donovan is in a monogamous relationship. "It isn't difficult because she's the perfect girlfriend."

Luke: "Are you in porn for life?"

Donovan: "Definitely."

Luke: "How does being a pastor's son continue to affect you?"

Donovan: "It opens up a lot of conversations. It puts at ease at a lot of the new models I get. I'm the only guy in town doing what I do. Most of the girls I photograph have never done any work before. When I bring that I'm a preacher's son, they say, whoa, how did that happen? It works to my advantage. The first thought in a new model's mind is that someone is going to find out and tell mom and dad. I can tell them that I've had to face all the things they're worried about."

Luke: "What does your mother say to you?"

Donovan: "She doesn't like it. She doesn't want me to tell her boyfriend. My dad is a retired pastor. When people from his congregation email him about how he can let me do what I do for a living, he usually replies that they should keep their mouths shut. As a pastor, he had to counsel people like them who were addicted to porn. Such people have no place to talk.

"He's not happy with the choice I made for a profession but he's proud of me as a person."

Luke: "Has he asked you for a free log-in?"

Donovan: "No. He did ask me to see photos I photographed who he knew.

"My brother thinks it is the coolest thing in the world. He's a laborer. He tried working for me for a while but I wouldn't let him around the girls because he wasn't professional. He was trying to f--- 'em all. He got bored with the office work I had him doing.

"Male friends think it's cool [Donny is in porn]. Female friends start to roll their eyes until I have a conversation with them and ask them questions that make them think. Then they come to accept it.

Luke: "How would you feel if your son grew up to want to work in pornography?"

Donovan: "If he wanted to work with me or run my business, I'd first make him aware of the reactions he would get from the rest of his religious family. And if he still wanted to do it, I'd definitely guide him. I wouldn't want him to be talent.

"I welcome when someone comes after me. I think of it as a challenge. I have yet to have someone convince me that what I'm doing is wrong."

Luke: "Did you know what you were getting yourself in for?"

Donovan: "When I started, I didn't have a clue. If I had, I would've never started. Given what I know now, I would've started. At the beginning, I was blown away because I had lived a sheltered life. The first time I went to Internext, the stuff that was going on there, I felt sick to my stomach. Some of the sites that were out there such as hogtied.com. I'd never been exposed to that. I just felt that it was disgusting.

"Over time, that view changed. Now some of that stuff interests me and I also have respect for other people and what interests them. As long as they are not causing harm, there's nothing wrong in what they're doing. I've become less judgmental."

Luke: "Have you become jaded?"

Donovan: "Yes, I've become jaded. There has to be a lot more to interest me."

Luke: "Is there anything good in Christianity?"

Donovan: "To be honest, I hate Christians because of their hypocrisy and how they shun people who aren't doing what they think is right."

Luke: "Yet, much of what you are is a product of Christianity."

Donovan: "I don't know if when you were a kid, you were told that Santa Claus existed. Then you found out he didn't. That's how I felt about Christianity. All the stuff I was taught was bulls---. There's a keen sense of disappointment.

"I have to be honest with you. I have been studying Kabbalah."

He places the emphasis on the first syllable.

Donovan: "Stuff from the Kaballah Centre in LA. I've also asked rabbis what they think of it. Of course they think that most of it is bulls---.

"You eat the meat and you spit out the boons. You take what you want from it."

Luke: "Would one of the attractive parts of the Kaballah Centre be that it doesn't make any demands on you?"

Donovan: "Definitely."

Luke: "How much money have you spent on the Kaballah Centre?"

Donovan: "About a thousand dollars. I don't buy their water and I don't wear their red strings. I have one but I don't wear it. I don't swallow what they say hook, line and sinker."

Luke: "What have you gained from it?"

Donovan: "A reassurance from another major group that what I'm doing isn't wrong. They agree with that. It would take too long to tell you what I get from it."

Luke: "Give it a go."

Donovan: "They have a CD series about what they believe - The Power Of Kabbalah. A lot of what they taught made perfect sense to me. They teach that God is nothing that people can ever comprehend. It's more of an energy and a light that holds everything together. When they talk about Satan, they're not talking about a physical being either. It's negativity. There's positivity and negativity and it's all part of yourself.

"I love to ask Christians to explain Hosea 13:16."

It reads: "Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up."

Donovan: "I say to them, how can you justify killing babies? Why would I want to serve a God who wants to go in there and rip up kids?"

Luke: "You've never gotten a good answer to that?"

Donovan: "No. That's not a verse they teach in the churches."

Luke: "Do you think it would've been good if someone would've done that to Adolf Hitler's mother?"

Donovan: "No. Adolf Hitler's mother couldn't be responsible for what he did."

Luke: "By killing her and Adolf, we would've saved 50 million lives."

Donovan: "But how could you know in advance? I don't even believe in the death penalty."

Donovan writes on GFY January 4, 2005:

I've recently begun studying Kabbalah because I find it fascinating. The part I like most about it is where it points out that several areas of the Bible were incorrectly translated. The original text the Bible came from was mostly Hebrew and Aramaic. There are so many words that don't translate to English, as well as idioms that can't be correctly translated.

When some of the mistakes from the Bible were pointed out to me I lost most of my anger towards Christians. They are basically reading a "dumbed down" version of the original and trying their best to figure out what it means. By "dumbed down" I mean they don't have the full story. The authors of the Bible did not really believe God punished (nor blessed) anyone. They actually believe that man exercises true free will on earth.

Let's take Electricity as an example of the no punishment or blessing thing: If you stick your finger in a light socket and get shocked, would you say the light socket is punishing you? Likewise, if you plug in a lamp to the light socket and it lights up a room, would you say the electricity is blessing you? Of course not. In the first case you did not know how to properly use the power of the electricity. In the latter case, you harnessed the power of the electricity by using a machine (the lamp) that was built to use the electricity's power in a proper way.

The authors of the Bible, when reading what they actually wrote, felt the same way. They felt God is not an actual being (it's just easier to describe this power as a being) but that he is the creative force and power that formed the world and is still the energy that holds everything together. He doesn't punish, nor reward. Humans just suffer because they do not know how to properly use the power available to them. The bad (and good) that happens is a result of cause and effect. Just like in physics: "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction". Some cause and effect is separated by time so we don't always see the "cause" for things. Sometimes something bad happens in your life that seems to come from nowhere, but if you were to step back and look at your life and could remove the time barriers you might see what the cause was for the bad situation (or good situation) you are currently facing.

And the original authors of the Bible didn't believe in a literal hell either. They were just trying to use examples that people of the time could understand to prove their points. You have to remember that most people were not educated at that time. Those who take the Bible to be completely literal are fools.

Some of the stuff Kabbalists teach makes me scratch my head, but a large majority of it makes a LOT of sense. I've also learned that several famous scientists/scholars, etc studied it. Men such as Plato, Newton and Thomas Edison.

Some of the things that are talked about thousands of years ago are now reality and called "science". But at that time the people couldn't comprehend WTF Kabbalists were talking about and labeled them as "mystics".

Imagine trying to explain cell phones to the religious a few hundred years ago... and then imagine pulling out a cell phone and letting them talk to someone. They'd label you an evil person, or witch, and burn you at the stake.

ADL_JD writes:

This is a very complicated subject and really there are no original authors of the Bible as people would have one believe. It is true that the original stories of the Bible (the Torah) were in Hebrew. But the books that are knows as the Torah today were brought to Judea by Ezra from Babylon after the Babylonians were conquered by the Persians. Ezra, and his scribes, must have changed quite a lot about the text, added stories, etc because there are so many Babylonian influences in the "Original Torah." Take one of the most prominent - the Epic of Gilgamesh - which is so closely related to the story of Noah that it is obviously copied from the Babylonians and inserted into the Old testament. (BTW - where the Aramaic comes in is that was the language of the Babylonians. So, when the Jews were released from Babylon so many of them spoke Aramaic that it changed the language forever... then came Greek after).

Donovan Phillips writes:

Here is what one Jewish site has to say about Jesus:

Messiah : The Criteria

Judge for yourself:
Did Jesus fulfill ALL these criteria?

The Jewish tradition of "The Messiah" has its foundation in numerous biblical references, and understands "The Messiah" to be a human being - without any overtone of deity or divinity - who will bring about certain changes in the world and fulfill certain criteria before he can be acknowledged as "The Messiah".

First of all, he must be Jewish - "...you may appoint a king over you, whom the L-rd your G-d shall choose: one from among your brethren shall you set as king over you." (Deuteronomy 17:15)

He must be a member of the tribe of Judah - "The staff shall not depart from Judah, nor the sceptre from between his feet..." (Genesis 49:10)

To be a member of the tribe of Judah, the person must have a biological father who is a member of the tribe of Judah.

He must be a direct male descendant of King David and King Solomon, his son - "And when your days (David) are fulfilled, and you shall sleep with your fathers, I will set up your seed after you, who shall issue from your bowels, and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build a house for my name, and I will make firm the throne of his kingdom forever..." (2 Samuel 7:12 - 13)

The genealogy of the New Testament is inconsistent. While it gives two accounts of the genealogy of Joseph, it states clearly that he is not the biological father of Jesus. One of the genealogies is through Nathan and not Solomon altogether!

He must gather the Jewish people from exile and return them to Israel -"And he shall set up a banner for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth." (Isaiah 11:12)

Are all Jews living in Israel? Have all Jews EVER lived in Israel since the time of Jesus?

He must rebuild the Temple in Jerusalem - "...and I will set my sanctuary in their midst forever and my tabernacle shall be with them.." (Ezekiel 37:26 - 27)

At last check, there is NO Temple in Jerusalem. And worse, it was shortly after Jesus died that the Temple was DESTROYED! Just the opposite of this prophecy!

He will rule at a time of worldwide peace - "...they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore." (Micah 4:3)

Have you seen a newspaper lately? Are we living in a state of complete world peace? Has there ever been peace since the time of Jesus?

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He will rule at a time when the Jewish people will observe G-d's commandments - "My servant David shall be king over them; and they shall all have one shepherd. They shall follow My ordinances and be careful to observe My statutes." (Ezekiel 37:24)

The Torah is the Jewish guide to life, and its commandments are the ones referred to here. Do all Jews observe all the commandments? Christianity, in fact, often discourages observance of the commandments in Torah, in complete opposition to this prophecy.

He will rule at a time when all people will come to acknowledge and serve one G-d - "And it shall come to pass that from one new moon to another and from one Sabbath to another, shall all flesh come to worship before Me, says the L-rd" (Isaiah 66:23)

there are still millions if not billions of people in the world today who adhere to paganistic and polytheistic religions. It is clear that we have not yet seen this period of human history unfold.

All of these criteria are best stated in the book of Ezekiel Chapter 37 verses 24-28:

And David my servant shall be king over them; and they shall all have one shepherd. They shall also follow My judgments and observe My statutes, and do them. And they shall dwell in the land that I have given to Yaakov my servant, in which your fathers have dwelt and they shall dwell there, they and their children, and their children's children forever; and my servant David shall be their prince forever. Moreover, I will make a covenant of peace with them, it shall be an everlasting covenant with them, which I will give them; and I will multiply them and I will set my sanctuary in the midst of them forevermore. And my tabernacle shall be with them: and I will be their G-d and they will be my people. Then the nations shall know that I am the L-rd who sanctifies Israel, when My sanctuary will be in the midst of them forevermore.

If an individual fails to fulfill even one of these conditions, then he cannot be "The Messiah." A careful analysis of these criteria shows us that to date, no one has fulfilled every condition.

Certainly NOT Jesus.

ADL_JD posts:

I have been studying a lot of the history of the Jews around the time of Jesus. The thing that really sticks out to me is that the TIME was ripe for the Messiah. The Jews had first seen the Greek invasions and then the Romans. They were feeling really repressed.

One of the most fascinating elements were that there were a group of Gentiles called "God-fearers." There were people that believed in the Hebrew God but did not want to follow their strict dietary laws or be circumcised (who would - you have these great Greeks that came through with all their culture, food, and excesses). So, these people weren't Jewish but they believed in one God and the God of the Jews.

So, what do you think happened when Paul (In my eyes really the one responsible for Christianity) comes along speaking their language, telling them don't worry about circumcision or Kosher food - you can be one of us without that. The flocks came.

Again, the times were right!

brand0n writes: "Selling porn on the net = sure fire way to avoid heaven. We are all damned. No reason to study anything."

Jayeff writes:

One of the fundamental differences between Judaism and Christianity is that Christians believe in personal salvation, while Jews do not. For Jews there is no personal resurrection (therefore nor personal hell) and one's relationship with G-d is as a member of a people and not as an individual. The Jewish view is consistent with the universal power concept expressed in the original post in this thread: not surprising, since there is a Kaballah derived from the teachings of the Torah (others are derived from Greek Orthodox writings and other sources). Another is that for Jews, their religion is less a faith than a part of their being.

But the most obvious difference between Jews and Christians is that only Christians accept Christ as the Messiah. However, between his transformation from Jewish preacher to part of the Christian Trinity, both he and his teachings underwent several changes.

The first is that as a Jew, if Jesus had spoken about personal salvation, he would have found it near impossible to communicate with an audience which had been steeped for thousands of years in a contrary belief. Sure enough, there is nothing any of the New Testament, spoken by Jesus himself, which so much as hints at this concept.

St. Paul is mainly responsible for the shape that Christianity took and therefore to a large extent for how we perceive Christ himself. Whatever the truths of Christ's life, it is certain that Christians have a very different image of him than the Jews of the time - even those who approved of his teachings - would have had. We often forget that Paul, in order to promote the new religion to Greeks and Romans, had to spin Christianity so that it would appeal to people who already had their own panoply of gods and beliefs that were not only contrary to the beliefs of the Jews, but contrary to each other. Which of course means that since Christians cannot ignore the existence of the Old Testament, we have therefore placed our own interpretations on it, so that it can link to the New Testament without too much strain.

Donovan Phillips writes:

I need to tell you about a call I had today with a man from the Kabbalah Center in LA. A few weeks ago I emailed him and told him all about what I do for a living. Today he called and said that he's been thinking about some of the things I told him and the questions I asked him. Contrary to what I thought he'd say, he assured me that he does not want me to stop my involvement in this business. He said that what we do on the physical level is really of very little importance. What is important is what is inside of us. Example: do we like to help others, do we share with them and help them in time of need, etc.

Those who know me are aware that I do indeed share quite a bit with others. I love helping people in many ways. My brother, friends, family, complete strangers, etc.

Kabbalistic teachings do not condemn. I love that about them. This teacher is saying that in his opinion, if I use this business to help others I am still bringing light into the world. That is good to hear, because I've always thought that I use this business for good in many ways. I've given thousands and thousands of dollars to every day people in need.

Of course, I could always share more. There are always more people who can be helped, but it sure as hell is refreshing to hear someone "spiritual" say that I should feel no condemnation for owning an "adult" business. I wish more religious people could see things this way.

Donovan tells me June 19: "Kaballah is older than the written Bible. The literal Kaballah was the spoken Torah. There was a reason why the rabbis had to be 40 years old and married to study it. Most people at that time were uneducated and the literal Kaballah was trying to tell us how things work.

"In the Bible, there's a story about the prophet Elijah going into a village. The woman and her husband hadn't had any kids. They made a room for him in their home so when he came into town, he had a place to stay.

"He told them you are going to have a son. He was blessing them for their kindness. The son ends up dying and the lady ran to Elijah and said, how come my son died? It would've been better if I had never had him to begin with. Elijah sent his servant and said don't talk to anybody along the way.

"Elijah has to come back and lie on the kid and brings him back to life.

"The Kaballah teaches that it's not that there's some God up there who wants things done a certain way to entertain him, but every person has an energy inside of them, and God is part of everything.

"The reason that the servant shouldn't have talked to anybody on the way home was so that their negativity doesn't affect his energy.

"He's saying that you have the ability to channel within yourself a healing into this person's body.

"That's what I like about Kaballah -- we're all joined together by this life force, energy, light or whatever you want to call it that allows us to do things that we normally couldn't do. Look at some of the weird things that have happened over the course of history. They're like miracles but they're not."

Donny bought the Kaballah Centre's expensive Zohar set in Hebrew and English. He says that was "a waste of money. It sits on my shelf and collects dust. We use it as a photo backdrop.

"It's a little deeper than I want to get.

"I've bought a lot of other books about Judaism. Judaism For Dummies.

"When I first discovered Kaballah, I had a ton of questions and I'd shoot them off to any rabbi who would answer me. I had a few who talked to me on the telephone. JewsForJudaism.com. The founder's son talked to me for a while. Once he found out that I didn't have a background in Judaism, he was still helpful, but not as much as at first. When I first contacted him, he thought I was a fallen Jew."

Luke: "How do you feel about Jews not seeking converts?"

Donny: "I think that's a good thing."

Here are some of Donovan Phillips's blog entries:

"Interview Request" & What I Like and Hate About this Industry.

Why Donny Doesn't Like Shooting Hardcore.

WOMEN'S SEXUALITY.

PICS OF MY FIANCEE IN THIS ENTRY.

He mentions KABBALAH:

Kabbalah.com. This is an interesting belief system. It's recently received a lot of attention because Madonna has been studying it and has also introduced Demi Moore, Britney Spears, and other celebrities to it. I ordered some of their books, as I love reading about the religious beliefs of others. I made contact with one of the counselors at the Kabbalah Center and asked what he thinks of my involvement in the adult entertainment industry. Here's what he said:

What we do in the physical world is not as important as what is in our consciousness. Use the Zohar double this week. Ask the Light to show you what your next level of giving will be. Of sharing. I want you to feel very good in what you are doing. It is not the problem. What we do on the physical is not the problem. Do not fall into feelings of guilt. Just think one thing: how can I be more sharing, effecting change.

MY COUSIN POSES NAKED TOO (SHE'S A LIGHTSPEED GIRL).

DOES PORNOGRAPHY EXPLOIT WOMEN?

EXPERIENCES IN RELIGION.

SHOOTING NUDES IS NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES.

Shining A Light On Penetration

Jason posts 1/23/06 on www.kabbalahcurious.com:

My name is Jason Sechrest and I am, among many things, a pornographer. I produce, direct, review and write about performers of adult entertainment, straight and gay. I host various shows interviewing performers of the biz - all while attempting to break into the mainstream acting world. I am not a porn star, though I guess I have become a “star” of that genre over the past eight years.

I began studying Kabbalah at 18, the same age I began my career. I’ve lived my life as an open book, telling all about the journey of my own sexual discovery, but I've neglected taking my readers on the discovery of my Soul. Why? It's scary. Talk about getting naked! But the more I study, the more I learn, the more it becomes my job to share. So my question: Is it possible? To be wading in superficiality and materialism but maintain a spiritual connection to something greater? After all, the darker the corner, the brighter the light that can illuminate it. And if challenges are truly gifts, I think I’d like to try. Hell, if Madonna can do it after the "Sex" book, so can I.