Friday, November 12th, 1999
Jldacre speculates on Yahoo that Metro is laundering money: "Has anybody heard this rumour that some involved with this company were caught washing dirty money in the Grand Caymans or was it a different porn company ? Could explain the non response from the company lately. The money laundering by a porn company through a grand cayman bank is fact I just dont know who was involved for sure."
Scolnik writes: "Remember when they had to build a new studio for all their films? (check news releases back 6 months or so) AS IF THEY COULDN'T RENT A WHAREHOUSE OR BUY ONE ALREADY BUILT. Its' just another way to launder cash. Who wants to file the class action suit? BTW - its far better to use the shares as placemats, that way you can eat off of them every day. Expect the worst. Damn."
Luke: "Which porn company was caught in the last four years laundering money in the Cayman Islands?"
Quasarman from Metro Home Video writes Gene Ross: “In response to the hysteria being reported on another website dealing with our industry I thought I’d drop you, the fair minded Gene Ross, a note. Bottom line: ALL THE TALENT FROM THE MEXICO TRIP WILL BE PAID!!!
"...You can believe the pseudo-hebrew internet scribe if you like, but keep in mind we’ve shot all of you in the past and you’ve been paid, and, with only a few notable exceptions, we’ll be shooting all of you in the future and you will get paid. In short, YOU WILL BE PAID!! Give us a f---ing break.”
"Porn sucks on purpose," writes Milktiger on RAME. "This is the only plausible explanation for the abiding badness of most porn - that it behooves its producers to make sure videos are always well short of good. That way addicts will chase their tails forever trying to recreate a dimly-remembered initial rush, which itself is the memory of porn consumed when the shock of its very existence was enough to make it irresistible. Most drugs are marketed like this."
Xplor Update
Moffit Timlake from Xplor Video and Homegrown Video writes: Greetings Luke, I must say your site has improved from the incoherent ramblings of recent past. I particularly appreciate your exposure of the corrupt way of doing business, i.e. frequent bankruptcy re-orgs, non-payment of bills, skimming, etc., that is so inherent to "porners". What some people perhaps do not understand is that there are some of us who do fair and legitimate business, with families to support, etc. Keep up the good work.
One thing I do not understand however is your vendetta against Eddie Wedelstedt - he is probably the most straight forward, best-paying businessman of them all. You provide a product that his stores do well with, at the right price, and he pays in a consistent and timely manner. It is all very refreshingly simple. As for his comments in Cancun, I was there and I think he's been vastly misquoted. He seemed to think you would just fade away- there was definitely nothing threatening implied. I don't think he needs defending, I just think the people who conduct a proper business should be applauded.
As for what's new with Xplor, we've been working diligently on our websites, www.homegrownvideo.com and www.xplormedia.com all great values without hidden scams attached.
John Bone - White Trash Whore?
An In-the-Know Porner writes: John Bone is making a 'big budget movie' with his To Hot For Porn 3? If the movie had a 'big budget' it would already be cast...with Kendra Jade. John asked Kendra to star in the movie, as she had done previously. In fact, the whole "Too Hot..." concept is built around Kendra. But when it came time to agree on a price for Kendra, he cheaped out. He trried the ole mumbo jumbo that (apparently) worked previously on Kendra....and Zoe for that matter. But this time his bulls--- failed himn. I'm sure he'll find himself a white trash whore to star in this "big budget" flick, but she'll be at a low-end gonzo price.
KendraJXXX: who told you the john stuff? hes gonna think it was me Luzdedos1: can't say KendraJXXX: you f---. i hope you get sued for everything.
Luke regularly reads www.condomproject.com (a site for porn webmasters) which raised over a quarter of a million dollars for children with AIDS on their charity auction at chat.netpond.com #netpond.
Best Mark Slade
I have now seena couple of Mark Slade videos and am hooked on the guy. He is hot and delivers a great performance. I was wondering, though about his str8 career as Frank Towers. I've checked various sites and they say he has been in over 200 movies. I've only seen one. Can anybody tel me what are the best performances by Frank Towers in str8 films? I'm primarily interested in scenes where he and his partner are alone, rather than in an orgy scene. Also, please direct me to his best f--- scene and his best blow job, beginning to end.
Tyffany Million
Tyffany Million aka Sandra Margot writes: Hello to all my friends who live in So Cal (and those who travel here on business) As some of you may or may not know, I am deeply involved in the growing movement against the illegally enforced income tax. I no longer pay so-called "income" taxes OR Social Security, and it's 100% LEGAL.
How do I do that? Well, thru my work in radio I had the great fortune of meeting the nation's leading authority on how to stop the government from taking your hard earned money..... the infamous Irwin Schiff, author of the best selling books "The Great Income Tax Hoax", "The Federal Mafia," "The Biggest Con: How the Government is Fleecing You" and more. It was thru this incredibly knowledgeable and forthright man that I learned a LOT about the illegal "income" tax. Did you know: NO LAW requires you to file "income" tax returns; NO LAW requires you to pay "income" taxes; NO LAW authorizes the IRS to audit your books; NO LAW requires "income" tax withholding from your hard earned wages! Yes it's all true, and there is SO much more to it.
This year alone Mr. Schiff and his organization, "Freedom Books" and the "Freedom Foundation" saved me over $6000 in taxes I THOUGHT I HAD TO PAY! If you want to know more, I have GREAT news! As a favor to me, Mr. Schiff has agreed to come to Los Angeles and hold a ONE TIME only seminar for my friends and family. It will be Saturday December 4 at the Universal City Sheraton Hotel. He normally charges $250 for this seminar, but because he's a big fan of mine (take advantage of this guys and dolls) he is allowing all of you to attend for only $100!
Check out www.paynoincometax.com or phone 1-800-829-6666.
Chaim Amalek writes: "Luke, thanks for the really funny satire by this Tiffany Million porn chick. I am sure that when one of your readers passes this bit of parody on to the IRS, the boys over there will have quite a chuckle too.
"On a more serious note, I have discovered the secret of longevity, passed down to me via my Usetian forebears. It is a medal, struck from a most unusual metal extracted from a meteorite. Everyone who wears this medal for seventy five years is guaranteed to live to an old age.
"I do not charge for the medal, because I believe that what falls from the sky is the common property of all mankind. All I ask is that you cover shipping costs (the postal authorities of Usetia are a very greedy lot). Please send me $97, (care of Luke F-rd, 264 S. La Cienega Blvd, PMB 1417, BH, CA 90211) and the Longevity Medal will be yours. Be well . . . . "
CX writes: Luke, Here's a thought on Tiffany Million's brilliant plan o scam the federal government. "Did you know: NO LAW requires you to file "income" tax returns; NO LAW requires you to pay "income" taxes; NO LAW authorizes the IRS to audit your books; NO LAW requires "income" tax withholding from your hard earned wages!" Ummm....let me think back....oh yeah. The 16th Amendment of the Constitution EXPRESSLY grants the fed. govt to collect income taxes. Here is the full text.
Amendment XVI
"The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several states, and without regard to any census or enumeration."
And as for the rest of Ms. Million's rantings, I believe they can all be covered in the Constitution's "necessary and proper" clause in Article I, Section 8. Here is the partial text of that clause (not the full section)
"[Congress shall have the power] To make all laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into execution the foregoing powers, and all other powers vested by this Constitution in the government of the United States, or in any department or officer thereof."
Seems the only one guilty of fleecing the people is Irwin Schiff with his bogus seminar. I love it when porn people have brainstorms, you can see the smoke for miles.
Gentile porner Mike South gives this free advice: " Luke the tax dodge that Sandy is referencing is a well known MLM scheme. I strongly advise against joining and against participation. the IRS can make your life miserable if they choose to make an example out of you it is the only body that can take your property without due process. You don't f--- with the IRS. LOTS of porners can attest to that. Don't line Sandy's pockets by placing yourself at risk of losing all that you have."
From Craig "The Foreman" Whyel:
"If Tiffany Million thinks she can pimp her tax scheme successully and get away with it; I think she's begging for trouble. I have a physician friend who got in with these anti-government types who fought against paying taxes and despite his trying desperately to sway my into the fold, I passed like a chickens---. I was, however, a free chickens---. My doctor, despite all his so-called knowledge and anti-goverment supporters did not pass go and went straight to jail. He got nary a postcard or letter of support from his so-called anti-tax allies.
"If Sandy thinks she really got f---ed when took on 15 men in Starbangers 6, wait until the IRS gets wood-they can go all night long. Sandy, baby, I'm begging you, dump the anti-tax schill and got back to getting f---ed the way you're used to."
Mike writes: Luke, that Tiffany Million stuff is funny, but there's actually something to be said for it. While the 16th Amendment does give Congress specific powers to "lay and collect taxes on incomes," the preamble to the Declaration of Independence expressly states "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."
What these people (the tax protesters) do is interpret decisions in federal courts and the Supreme Court to their ideals, and in doing so create a legal foundation for the idea that personal income (as a result of labor) is a right under the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. While a lot of their arguments make a lot of sense, we live in a society that views the income tax as a necessary evil, and no one in the federal government (particularly judges and the IRS) are interested in the personal interpretations of citizens when it affects their golden goose (taxing the citizenry). As a result, people like Irwin Schiff and Lynne Meredith (another anti-tax "guru") draw people in with promises of being free of income taxes and saving all this money for your own use. The reality is that they are the new snake-oil peddlers, and (as related by Craig) disappear when people who try what they suggest start falling down the slippery slope of IRS scrutiny.
While some of their ideas are solid (putting assets into pure trusts, for example, and simply administering those trusts to yourself), most of the tactics will do nothing but get your ass reamed in a way that only people like Tiffany Million would really understand. That being said, I would still f--- 'er.
Luke Gets Mail
Porn star Naughtia Childs writes: "Hey luke it is really to bad about the coming out of the closet, Because I for one have always thought of you as quite a looker. To bad i don't believe it , then again i don't know you so it might be true. This site is for the most part informative and has just the right amount of comedy. I for one think we all enjoy the wicked comments we all say about others in our business. ads a little spark to what could be a mundane existence, yeah right!
"Nancy Vee has a star undercover, she is trying to have him break into the industry with a bang. He is still a virgin and is looking for a date. A rumor has spread that he is well hung. Nancy told us " I cant sleep, he comes home at all hours, brings home his friends and spills water all over." We came to the conclusion he just needs to get it Doggie style.
"Hey Luke make sure everybody knows Nancy Vee's dog's name is Wiggie aka Wiggsley."
Luke: "Does Nancy ever have sex with Wiggie?"
Naughtia: "Hell no she is looking for a doggie date, for her dog not her!!!! Please do not have people with a beasteality fettish go out with da wig."
Fred writes Luke: O.K. What percentage of your e-mailers actually thought you were gay and coming out of the closet? 10%? 5%?
Luke: Over 50%.
Fred: BTW, I just finished Gittler's book. He does paint a bit of a bleak picture. 'Tis an interesting philosophical question about whether an undisciplined hedonistic life can be a happy life. Is self discipline a necessary condition for happiness? Or will lack of discipline eventually lead to self-destruction? That would make a good question for an essay contest. It would be interesting to hear what some of the porners think (assuming they have an opinion).
Frankly, although lack of self discipline can lead to self-destruction, we are all better off if government keeps its nose out of these decisions. Whoever screws up their life suffers the consequences, but by and large, it should be an individual decision.
By the way, aside from being an amateur psychiatrist (working under the name Fred Freud) and a patent lawyer, I am also now selling indulgences and absolving people of sins. Absolution for a non-sexual venal sin is $20; absolution for a non-sexual mortal sin is $40. Absolution for sexual sins requires an office visit. See my secretary, Mr. Ford, for appointments. Females only. (Now that Ford is out of the closet, he will attend to male clients.)
Dave writes: At my high rise downtown LA office we often read with great amazement at your sometimes incoherent ramblings. But today in between my legal filings and boring propaganda I came across a website that may interest you. http://andylace.com we found it quite enjoyable.
Goddess writes: "Luke, I, for one, would not be the least bit surprised if you really were gay. I've been suspicious of you ever since you described Gene Ross as having "bulging biceps." I am surrounded by male friends and relatives and not one of them would EVER be stupid enough to point out another man's physical assets. Frankly, I'm surprised you stopped there, though. Why not point out his "whipcord thighs" and "steely blue eyes"??!! Or do you save THOSE descriptions for your diary?
"Oh, and by the way, that explanation for the third person usage totally bit. Don't you get the fact that you make it all the more confusing by sometimes using your name at the start of the response--the CORRECT way--and then you suddenly switch to the third person. I think, Luke thinks, heterosexual, homosexual--for Pete's sake, make up your mind!"
MegaMe writes: Hiya Luke... Missed Bianca Chump's response to my note last week until today. Had to respond... Here's her post...
Bianca Trump writes: "For the idiots that wrote you... Yes it is copyright name and all I am 100% incorperated and copyright. And I did go after at least 300 people today NOT just Luke. And that was just off AOL search and alta vista search Tommarrow I will start with Yahoo search....and every damn day after that Untell people learn how to make there own money. I don't need a pimp!"
MegaMe: Bianca, you ignorant slut! First...learn how to spell before you call people idiots! I stopped by your site, and I gotta say you're an attractive woman...But, please jump on a stair-master and clean up those thighs...and deflate those freakin' balloons you call tits! I just hate when a woman ruins her breasts by blowing them up so far beyond anything natural that they become shiny. I still say, you've got some work cut out for you stopping people from using your name. Like any celebrity, your name is pretty much in the public domain...that was your choice when you decided it was okay to be a whore on film. I'd love to see your legal bills after suing all these people who have your name on their site. By the way, are you going to sue Luke, or AVN, or LFP for using your name without specific permission. You better get busy protecting that copyright. By the way...I just registered biancatrumpsucks.com...whatcha gonna do?
XXXProf: I like Bianca "Chump". How many people have told that ho so far that names can't be copyrighted but she still says hers is copyrighted? She can't stop people from talking about her under the guise of trademarks and copyrights anyhow. Shes a piece of work.
Luke: A check on public records indicates that Ginger Lynn owns a home in Woodland Hills with an assessed value in 1998 of $615, 499. She paid $580,000 (loan for $435,000) on 12/06/95.
On 11/21/96, Ginger Lynn sold a parcel of land with the Situs Address of 4481 Commonwealth Avenue, in Culver City, for $279,000.
Ginger has one vehicle registered in her name, a 1990 GMC pickup.
Steve Neece writes: "Looks like you have a lot of support in your coming out. Looks like you have more friends than you thought. They may be better friends to you than you were to them. Think you can change that?
"Find it interesting that Lynne L-patin is now presenting herself as a crucified martyr for the cause of sex positive female /couples/blacks friendly porn when a few weeks ago she was waxing ecstatic over bukkake! Is her memory so short? When you realize that Jews and Italians dominate porn nobody should be shocked that it is hateful to women. They have aimed their product at sexual cripples, most of whom are also mentally deficient. Any woman going into it should be apprised of this so they can deal with it. Unless they can make set for life money from it they should think of getting into another line of work. They should also try and establish support networks and alternative work so they will not have to deal with the mainstream public. Just once I would like to hear a performer say in print- "I do this because it is the most money I can make legally and it saves me from a fate worse than death - having to marry some hateful sonofabitch to economically survive. People ask me about not being able to marry because of porn and I tell 'em I got in so I'd never have to. And, no, the groans and screams are all fake except when I'm screaming in pain from Max Hardcore or Rocco. Look at our lips. It's dubbed afterwards. And no, none of these guys is worth a s--- when it comes to real sex.
"Would any mag print it? Does that mean its not the case for many performers? I think video had a lot to do with this sorry state of affairs but its too long a story for now. I am sad sad for what could have been and nearly was. If video had not come along until 10 years later I think porn would have been so entrenched and established that most of the public would have accepted it and many of the legends of the Golden Age would have crossed to mainstream acceptance. Judith Crist of the N.Y. Times gave "Roommates" a thumbs up review in 1982 just before the video revolution. Another 10 years of continued progress would have put the industry in a much stronger position than today. Which do you think is more prevalent in the industry, misogyny or homophobia?"
Sexaddict writes: "NJG needs to get over her traumas. The final victory the male assholes in her life would have is if she failed to live happily. And BTW, NJG, there are plenty of perfectly good normal guys that do not need to degrade women- you are not likely to find them in bars and porn sites.
"BTW Luke, not buying your gay schtick for a minute. This is more shockorama stuff on a slow news day, or some lazily conducted experiment on how porners relate to gay men. Now if you were to do John Wayne Bobbitt on video, than I would have to recant."
Bernard writes Luke: "What are you saying? Where you write:
"I've decided to come out as a homosexual..."
If Bill Clinton was asked to analyse this statement he'd say the most important phrase is as a homosexual . With particular emphasis on AS. As he recalls his famous declaration: "It depends on what the meaning of is is."
The dictionary meanings of AS:
1. in the way or manner that
2. as it were : as if it were so : in a manner of speaking
3. in or to the same degree in which
So you haven't told us that you ARE a homosexual, just that you're 'coming out AS a homo'. - - - - - - - It's sometimes hard to tell what's your writing and when you're quoting someone else. Why not use a different font, color, attribute or background to distinguish different sources?
Vivid girl Lori Michaels writes: "I'm back in Austin this week and just got back to the motorhome. I looked at our site again to see the latest gossip and have to say that I never really noticed something. You've spent a lot of time on it, haven't you? I've been looking thru it and can't imagine how you're doing it all by yourself. Do you have someone that helps you? Just curious since I know how much time it takes me to keep mine going."
Luke: "I do it all myself, and have no life."
Music critic J.D. Considine writes: "Luke-- I'm out of the country for one week, and return to discover that I'm a porn star -- or, at least, am listed among them on your site. Are there privileges or benefits that come with such a listing?"
Email: "Hey there Luke, I love your site! I'm Dougie Hoser, porno's
MEGA-SUPERSTAR!!!! You may know me from the award-winnig video, "Asswoman
In Wonderland." O.K., So I wasn't a 'STAR' of the flick, but...or co-star.
s--- I wasn't even an 'and' or a 'with'!!!! I was the guy that said,
"Beer?" in the part everyone FFWDs through. Maybe the term 'MEGASTAR'
was a little too extreme. <
"Actually, I'm just a friend of Cherry's from NM (moved back) Anyway, I was just wondering if perhaps (when you invent a timemachine to create time?!?) you could send me any Stryc9/Cherry pics you might have on disk somewhere so I (or you) can post em on my Excite Club, Sadly Luke, her pictures are kinda hard to find online. Help end this tragedy, send your donation... By the way, told her you "came-out" while we were on the phone today, she thinks I'm B.S.ing! You WERE serious, right?!?! Oh yeah, and I'm voting that it's Metro's owner that's sueing!"
Blondie writes on www.condomproject.com: Do people who promote and make money from porn really have ANY morals, ethics, or values? Yes, we certainly do! I'm answering the question myself here because I really do feel that this is what it all comes down to.. I am a former stripper who raised a child on my own with no child support. I busted my ass for my kid, so I could keep him! Did whatever I had to do to make sure I raised him right and he had a good home and family. He is now in a Christian college...well, isn't THAT somekind of a fluke?
Nope, it's just that my life has been hard enough, I had to be a stripper, I had no other skills to make good money, did what I had to do... But everyone seems to think that just because you're in this business you don't have REAL values...bulls---! Just because you happen to be *making money* in this particular industry doesn't mean you are a piece of s--- person. Oh yeah, there are plenty of s--- people who don't care about anything but money, but every single industry has those types, and maybe this industry has way more because s--- people seem to be attracted to the easy bucks...BUT, no one can simply make sweeping statements about everyone in this business, that's wrong. Everyone has individual values, morals and ethics, and yes, I am finished ranting, sorry it turned into a rant, sensitive subject for me because my family has ALWAYS put me down about what I do... My response has always been, "shut up, you don't pay my friggin' bills"
Porners For Pat Buchanan
Chaim Amalek writes: Statistically speaking, are not disproportionately many serial killers gay? There seems to be a meaningful positive correlation between the two, as well as ownership of a van. (In other words, if you are a serial killer, then you are more likely to be gay than if you are not a serial killer, and if you are gay and a serial killer, then you are more likely to own a van than you otherwise would be.)
By the way, there is a very interesting hypothesis making the rounds among sociobiologists that homosexuality is caused by a germ of some sort. (I wish I could recall the name of the scientist who came up with this; he is not viewed as a mere crank. I think Fortune magazine had a big write-up on this recently.) The argument is that because homosexuality exacts a very severe a fitness penalty on the individual (i.e., much less chance of reproduction and passing on one's genes), it could not be due to genes, for any such genes would have been bred out of the human population many many generations ago.
So let us speculate. Assume that there is such a germ, and that it does its damage on minors (it is very rare for people to switch sides as adults), and that it can be spread venereally. We would then expect those who began having sex with the carriers of such germs (typically adults, and especially gay adults) at an early age to have had more exposure to this pathogen than would be the case for those who waited until later, and, if the hypothesis is true, that those so exposed would be more likely to end up gay.
You have a data base of people who I suspect were disproportionately sexually active at a young age. Are these people also disproportionately gay? Might I further suggest that at your next sabbath kiddush you stand up and, as everyone is hugging everyone else, ask them to tell you how old they were when they began having sex and whether or not they are gay? Tell them the information is needed in the interest of science.
Luke, here is yet another reason for you to form that political action committee for Pat Buchanan I suggested a few months back. Remember, politics is much more respectable than porn. Remember too to give the good news of Pat to everyone at temple, right after you ask them to assist you in your science project.
Buchanan Receives Fulani Endorsement
By Thomas B. Edsall
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, November 11, 1999 12:04 PM
Lenora Fulani, whose roots run deep in radical, leftwing politics {NOTE - THIS IS LIBERAL SPEAK FOR "SHE IS A COMMUNIST"} today endorsed the Reform Party candidacy of conservative Patrick J. Buchanan in one of the most bizarre political marriages in recent memory.
"In traditional political terms, Pat Buchanan stands for all the things that black progressives such as myself revile," Fulani said at a packed news conference at the National Press Club. Fulani, who has been accused of making antisemitic statements and who has been aligned with Louis Farrakhan in the past, said she has formed an alliance with Buchanan "because we have a common interest in overthrowing the traditional political terms. Like Pat, I am a controversial figure in American politics. We both like a good fight.
Buchanan called Fulani's support "a giant step toward the nomination" and described her as "a tremendous force in the Reform Party."
Xach: Lukey, Just read the notices--if you are going "gay", at least temporarily, I get first dibbs.
Fred writes: Looks like Mr. Wedelstedt has had a few disputes with the IRS. Tsk tsk. Also looks like he's borrowed money from time to time from various lending institutions. I guess he's never heard the adage, "neither a borrower nor a lender be." (Hamlet.) Oh well.
BTW, a question. What do you know about the woman who writes under the name "pussycat" at www.unchain.com? Good looking? How old?
Those were interesting posts. I assume you now subscribe to a database to get information on people. Which one do you use? I am aware of the Information America database and Discovery Plus. (I am also aware of Lexis, but that is pretty limited.) What are you using?
BTW, it looks like Ms. Lynn has about 200K of equity in her house, and had enough $ in 1995 to buy it for $580K. That's not bad for a single mom. What do you think--is it an upper middle class neighborhood? Or would you say that it's an upper class neighborhood? It sounds like from a purely economic standpoint, she's been making rational decisions. I don't think she'd be living there if she had spent the last 10 years flipping burgers or typing memos. What do you think? I also wonder what she put down on her loan application under "occupation".
Well, who is next on the agenda for the gay detective? What do you suppose Juli Ashton or Jill Kelly are worth? I wager that they salt away their money in a reasonable manner, eh?
What an incomplete data base. They forgot to list her blood type, bra size, and favorite brand of toothpaste. This stuff is pretty spooky, isn't it? God only knows what it has on us. (Of course, it probably knows what God has on us.)
Louis writes Luke: Hey, congrats on coming out of the closet! Hold your head up high, man, and be true to yourself. I LOVE your site, I really do believe what I've previously written, and I admire you for your fearlessness and your pursuit of the "great answers" to the enigma of the human race. It's a hellish journey I can see from what it's doing to you, but you're getting there. It's better then closing your eyes and ears altogether. Can you email me any Dyanna Lauren news? I'm completely in love with her and can't believe she'd shack up with that doofus Steven St. Croix, about the least funny porn actor I've seen. I wish Dyanna would lose the giant breasts, tho, she's naturally so beautiful and sweet and luscious. No way she should've gotten into porn. Maybe someday I'll rescue her.
WHAT: Jewish Expo 2000 featuring animated exhibits, activities and entertainment will be held at The Jewish Federation/Valley Alliance's West Hills Bernard Milken Campus. The expo is the world's largest traveling Jewish Exposition (over 250,000 guests since the tour began) and contains Multi-Media exhibits that take participants through 2000 years of Jewish History, arts and crafts workshops, a Chanukah "dreidel" house and round the clock interactive game shows for children and adults of all denominations. Concurrently, every day of Chanukah, Expo 2000 visitors are invited to attend a community celebration and a celebrity Menorah kindling (December 3rd at 2 p.m. and Dec. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 at 5:45 p.m.).
WHO: Celebrity and Talk Show Host Dr. Laura Schlessinger (KFI) will kindle the Menorah on the fourth night of Chanukah, Monday, December 6th at 5:45 p.m. Author and Radio Celebrity Dennis Prager (KABC) will kindle the Menorah on the sixth night of Chanukah, Wednesday, December 8th, 1999.
WHEN: Expo 2000 Schedule: November 29th - December 12th 1-877-4-EXPO-LA toll free Time: 9:00 a.m. - 9:30 p.m. Showtime Information: www.jewishexpo2000.org
WHERE: The Bernard Milken Jewish Community Campus 22622 Vanowen Street in West Hills.
<MikeSouth> hey Luke you havent run a background check on anyone today?
<l-keford> not yet
<MikeSouth> I think BobbyG would be interesting
<WarmProp> no it's just a script that pops a :) when 'luke' is mentioned.
<l-keford> :))
<MikeSouth> I have heard rumors that his REAL name was Genovesse
<l-keford> bobby genova
<MikeSouth> ya I am not so sure I believe em
<MikeSouth> but I have heard it a few times
<MikeSouth> and that he is directly related to THOSE Genovessees
<l-keford> hmm
<MikeSouth> but I never heard it from a reliable source
<Darth_Whack> run a background check on Kid Vegas
<MikeSouth> heheheh Kid Vagrant
<Darth_Whack> or just make some stuff up
<Darth_Whack> hell, I will do it for you
<l-keford> please
<MikeSouth> I could write one for Vagrant that would prolly be true
<MikeSouth> high school drop out
<MikeSouth> doper
<MikeSouth> hell come to think of it Kid Vagranmt fits right into porn
<Darth_Whack> l-keford, I could take out Mike Albo for you
<MikeSouth> we were gonna give the guy who did it last time a hummer so that he could do it properly
* MikeSouth is just waiting for the day when luke caps somebody
<DirtyBob> Lukester!
<xxxgen> Hiya Bob
<DirtyBob> Dirty Craig!
<xxxgen> lol
<l-keford> herk!
<l-keford> j
<xxxgen> :)
<xxxgen> Fag!
<l-keford> :)
<l-keford> does that change the way you feel about me?
<DirtyBob> lovers spat...?
<xxxgen> Luke thinks I'm mean to writers Bob...
<adamjm> tribe i f---ing hate emmitt smith and i'm glad he got hurt
* DirtyBob thinks we should put Luke and Craig in a closet together for a week.
<umea> Yes, maybe there will be some feminist-protestors there... :)
<xxxgen> Now that I can expect a hissy fit every time I disagree with you Luke - I know how to treat you
<xxxgen> I called someone a 'jerk' Luke won't let me forget it
<xxxgen> Kendra called in today Luke
<umea> Is l-keford the Luke F-rd?
<xxxgen> Mag is done to the printers - we start the next issue tomorrow
<xxxgen> THE HOMOSEXUAL Luke F-rd!!!
<xxxgen> :) tell me about it Bob!! I', sweatin'
<adamjm> you a cowboys fan luke?
<l-keford> yes
<adamjm> that makes sense
<adamjm> aikman is gay
<xxxgen> he likes their tushes
<adamjm> ironic
<DirtyBob> Luke likes those Midnight Cowboys...
<xxxgen> :)
<adamjm> actually i can't confirm aikman is gay
<adamjm> i just don't like the cowboys
<xxxgen> Can you confirm it Luke?
<xxxgen> :)
<xxxgen> Luke sexes too many a porn star to be gay
<adamjm> i think he's bi
<adamjm> or straight and confused
<adamjm> feeling conflicted
<adamjm> either way don't matter
<xxxgen> :) not that there's anything wrong with it... :)
<adamjm> nope
<adamjm> not at all
<xxxgen> heheheh - Luke does it again!! He is the talk of the town
<adamjm> that bill amerson is such a fine outstanding human being
<adamjm> what a guy
<adamjm> real family man
<adamjm> Welcome Nikki to David Sturman 101A class in management philosophy. Keep your employees unsure, confused and feuding among themselves. It keeps you needed, and you can fly into town every few weeks and bring messianic peace.
<adamjm> gotta hand it to you luke
<adamjm> that was funny
<adamjm> hehe
<adamjm> don't tell rog i voted for gene ross for journalist
<lsb> The wild rumor that Vivid Girl and Asian sex star Kobe Tai has recently
<lsb> completed a film in which she swallowed an actual gallon of men's cum has
<lsb> been spreading throughout the porn world.
<lsb> Reports state that nearly 1,000
<lsb> men contributed their cum into a suction device that liquified the jism
<lsb> making it drinkable for Kobe. The tight-bodied porn slut is said to have
<lsb> gulped the goo while she was being f---ed by two men. Other reports said
<lsb> that Kobe had a female assistant who licked clean whatever dripped out of
<lsb> Kobe's mouth while she downed the sticky mess.
<LMack> What a load of bollocks
<lsb> LMack.....this is from Vivid
<LMack> Hehehe his latest scoop
<JenT> not a lot, Just finished the design on Dyanna Laurens new web site
<XTacyAVS> Luke why did you say Serge was one of the most respected webmasters in your video interview and then say he works as a front for many advertisers to cheat webmasters?
<XTacyAVS> err luke is about as gay as Brett Farve
<TheRogSays> Hey Luke, I got that postcard with your grille on it
<TheRogSays> Craig, shouldnt you be working, bitching me out or something :-)
<TheRogSays> Craig, are the rumors about Talking Blue joining the Fantastic team true?
<xxxgen> No John is a cool guy - the other guy is a jerk - unless he gets his biz sense together that won't happen
<xxxgen> John was cool - the other guy - I didn't have good conversations with
<TheRogSays> Dave. He's the on camera guy most of the time.
<TheRogSays> I think my column should now be called, The Rog Says..... :-)
<XTacyAVS> you smell what the Rog is cookin?
<njg> so, what happened to luke? is he sleeping?
<LMack> He's not talked for 3 hours at least njg
<Meni> I'm going
<njg> I think he took a nap or something
<xxxgen> Luke is having a homosexual experience
<xxxgen> she [Kendra Jade] did a short interview with my assistant today
<njg> yeah?
<xxxgen> yeah - she was tired
<njg> she is a totally cool person
<xxxgen> didn't you know she and I were having an affair?
<njg> very honest and down to earth
<Hotela> Diablo is a cocksucking, s---packing FAGGOT!!!
<njg> craig, how old are you? maybe you should really go out with her?
<xxxgen> :) Kendra is the coolest - she is the pull out poster in my new issue
<njg> I'm trying to find her a rich husband :), the yenta in me comes out!
<xxxgen> I have nothing but great things to say about Kendra - she has been very professional and a terrific girl
<Hotela> just tell diablo that's he don't have to hide in the closet no more
<njg> but Luke lives in LA and only likes movies with happy ending, schmaltzy movies
<njg> he has no taste in movies
<JenT> Jill [Kelly] is %100 pure female, but her face is kind of weird. I think she is pretty but she didnt need all that surgery
<BobBlec> JenT: interesting
<Loudness-br> Jenteal: what surgery??
<JenT> it is no secret that she had her nose done (a few times) and she had cheek implants, plus her breasts. But she looked prettier to me before
<JenT> she is still hot though
<JenT> I would do her, again. :)
<TheRogSays> Everyone, should I post a picture of a Luke F-rd advertisement I got this week?
<DirtyBob> is it scary?
<BobBlec> Rog: does it violate the bunds of good taste?
<BobBlec> bounds
<JT27> might be good for a laugh...
<TheRogSays> Luke F-rd as the pitchman for a T1 company
<BobBlec> heheheh
<BobBlec> go fir it
<DirtyBob> I thought Luke was the new spokesman for a company which makes closets?
<TheRogSays> Ill scan it and post it. Pretty funny to go through the mail and see Lukes grille staring at me
<DirtyBob> wonder if Luke has his auto thing set to make a YO or HI when his name is mentioned tonight?
<DirtyBob> We should find out.
<DirtyBob> Everyone say LUKE
<`^-_-^`> Luke
<DirtyBob> Luke
<JT27> Like
<`^-_-^`> Lukey Luke
<JT27> Luke
* KELLYjADE slaps DotCom- around a bit with a large trout
<DirtyBob> overload Luke!
<BobBlec> Luke
<`^-_-^`> Lukity Lukey Luke
<`^-_-^`> nada
<JT27> use the force.... Luke
<DotCom-> ouch babe!
<DirtyBob> Run, Luke, Run!
<BobBlec> Luke before you leap
<JT27> duh...
<DirtyBob> oh, well..
<JimGunn> The final irony will be that Gene will get the scoop on Luke's obituary
<RedMyst> meni is a very unique character
<zoexxx> a bit into himself
<RedMyst> yeah, just a little!! haha
<Pau|B> i don't like him
<JimGunn> Unique- I know lotsa guys like Meni and I haven't even met him yet
<zoexxx> lol
<RedMyst> hehe
<JimGunn> I'll make the full report Friday
<JimGunn> Anyone else dying to see my teen lesbian schoolgirls since I botherd to make a couple of caps?
<MadisonFan> looks nice Jim, brand new girls?
<JimGunn> Yes, first porn for both of them, one has done a few amateur things.
<JimGunn> They'll both be in Strap-On Sally 15 in a couple of weeks
<JimGunn> Here's the second pic
* FanHavingTroubleWithPC is gonna strap one on and buttf--- his hard drive soon
<zoexxx> i put my car up for sale today , yipee
<RedMyst> zoe- what is it?
<zoexxx> thats all the exciting news i have today
<MadisonFan> cool, ill have to look for that vid when it comes out
<zoexxx> lol
<zoexxx> vette
<RedMyst> hehe
<zoexxx> 92
<RedMyst> zoe- why you getting rid of it?
<zoexxx> i want something bigger
<RedMyst> hahaha
<RedMyst> zoe- bigger? like a van er something?
<zoexxx> 4 door sedan
<JimGunn> luke, I hate to ask, but does anyone really deserve to have all their info on your site even if they are not nice people?
<Mastrick> njg is Nice Jewish Girl, the third leg of the Luke F-rd Love Triangle
<The^Bad^Seed> njg is a pain in the ass disguised as a nice jewish girl
<Andman> oh, hehe
<BobBlec> Andman: Nice Jewish Girl, Luke F-rd's gf
<Andman> HAHA
<BobBlec> heheh
<Sultana^> BoB yes she will I will make sure she gets IT all day
<Andman> hehehehe
<The^Bad^Seed> njg started out pretty cool, for a few minutes
<BobBlec> Joey: hehehe
<Andman> then?
<The^Bad^Seed> then? read the logs
<The^Bad^Seed> hehe
<Sultana^> she open her mouth
<Andman> lol
<Andman> i´m reading, i´m reading
<BobBlec> hahahahahahahaha
<The^Bad^Seed> no one mention that im MadisonFan
<The^Bad^Seed> whoops
<Andman> <--- wondering why luke logs his girlfriend talking s---
<Andman> hehehehehe
<The^Bad^Seed> cuz she wants to be on his site
<Mastrick> Perhaps we should all use nicks indicative of our spiritual upbringing
<The^Bad^Seed> hmmmm
*** Mastrick is now known as NicePresbyterianGuy
<Andman> hmmmmmmmm
*** Andman is now known as Diablo2
<Diablo2> hehehehee
*** The^Bad^Seed is now known as FormerChristianLad
*** Sultana^ is now known as virgintaillight
*** Deathcap has quit IRC (Quit: Leaving)
*** MikeSouth is now known as Heathen
*** Diablo2 is now known as PatBateman
<FormerChristianLad> do you guys hate me cuz im a christian???
*** virgintaillight is now known as DiablosBest
<PatBateman> hehehe
*** Heathen is now known as MikeSouth
<FormerChristianLad> do i get no sex cuz im a christian???
<BobBlec> hahahahaha
<l-keford> lol
<FormerChristianLad> im not an op because im a christian i bet
<FormerChristianLad> Luke wont put a pic of my dick on his site cuz im a circumsized christian
Thursday 1PM
<MadisonFan> the infamous luke
<l-keford> :)
* WarmProp plays &127; Luke F-rd - The Lumberjack Song.mp³ &127; 3938kb &127;
<l-keford> lol
<MadisonFan> and his smile
<MadisonFan> uh oh, luke is a singer now?
<WarmProp> it's a single from his x-mas album
<WarmProp> hanukkah, sorry
<MadisonFan> hehe
<MadisonFan> is it good?
<Sinatra153> he's jewish...
<WarmProp> it's aight
<WarmProp> there's a killer duetto with george michael, too
<l-keford> does it bother you that i am gay?
<WarmProp> naw
<WarmProp> i just want you to be happy
<WarmProp> and content
<WarmProp> besides i don't believe for minute you're gay anyway
<MadisonFan> l-keford, did you meet george michael at the truck stop?
<l-keford> y
<MadisonFan> hes as gay as he is jewish and as he is a journalist
<WarmProp> Lou is right about L-patin
<l-keford> lol
<l-keford> lynne is at my house now
<WarmProp> she's scroll down material
<WarmProp> please inform her that
<MadisonFan> Naughtia Childs seems to like you luke, lucky dog f---er you
<l-keford> lynne is waiting for your questions
<WarmProp> what questions?
<WarmProp> luke make craig hire a sidekick to take pics and talk to people. you just sit in your hovel all day long.
<WarmProp> <growl>
<l-keford> ok
<WarmProp> too bad luke's now gay.
<MadisonFan> and i want to lick her everywhere for a few weeks
<Sinatra153> not that there's anything wronge with that
<WarmProp> we're all friends here.
<MadisonFan> you hate him cuz hes a jewish homo dont you?
<Sinatra153> the klan would have a field day with that one
<WarmProp> i love jewish homos
<Sinatra153> gay jews, and the klan who hates them...on the next Jerry Springer Show
<WarmProp> the world need more jewish homos
<Sinatra153> hollywood is full of em
<MadisonFan> luke just wants to be hated on all fronts
<l-keford> any questions for lynne?
<WarmProp> no not really just don't write about her anymore please. she's a bore.
<Sinatra153> Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then,
<Sinatra153> > when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their
<Sinatra153> > shoes.
<MadisonFan> luke- is it true you are bidding on hitlers silver?
<Sinatra153> Mein money
<MadisonFan> hehe luke printed the bad stuff i said about njg
<Sinatra153> what did you say aobut her
<WarmProp> is she really XX?
<MadisonFan> hehe luke always puts up all my good lines, i think i actually like luke now
<WarmProp> she writes like she's 14
<Sinatra153> damn
<WarmProp> sometimes
<Sinatra153> she's a pretty cool chick...a little f---ed in the head, but pretty cool.
<MadisonFan> woohoo, now that luke is gay i can have his baby!
<WarmProp> nothing againt her I dunno her IRL, it's just sometimes... sheesh... Naive Jewish Girl would be more apt
<MadisonFan> i havent seen the cool part yet
<MadisonFan> btw, im The^Bad^Seed in that luke log
<MadisonFan> and FormerChristianLad
* MadisonFan has too many names
<MadisonFan> luke- have you been measured for your cross yet?
<Sinatra153> Luke, I know why Fulani is supporting Buchanan....she wants him to loose..
<MadisonFan> luke- do you get mail about the PsT logs? do people like that part
<l-keford> i got some really hot lynne L-patin pics, posing with my gun in my bathroom and in my bed
<MadisonFan> she suck you luke?
<WarmProp> i hope she has a shirt on luke
<l-keford> diminish my integrity?
<WarmProp> those tattoos...
<l-keford> Nancy.Beiles@miramax.com.
<Darth_Whack> and again Luke graces us with wisdom and knowledge
<WarmProp> who's Nancy?
<l-keford> reporter for talk magazine
<WarmProp> that mag sucks. well the 1st issue did.
<l-keford> do you feel that way because talk is owned by jews?
<MadisonFan-> no, homos
<adamjm> luke since you're gay can i ask you a couple of personal questions?
<l-keford> yes
<WarmProp> sent the reporter a pic of you posing with your gun in the buff, that oughta make an impression
<l-keford> :)
<adamjm> do you think troy aikman's uniform makes his ass look big?
<l-keford> not at all
<MadisonFan-> haha
<skinutz> hey hey hey
<arcngel> hi????
<l-keford> I'll play center for Troy any day
<adamjm> i bet you would
<adamjm> you'd like the long snap counts
<WarmProp> you more of a top or a bottom luke?
<l-keford> bottom
<WarmProp> kinda figured that but had to ask
<MadisonFan-> safe sex lukey, dont forget
<adamjm> do you find me attractive luke?
<skinutz> i owe you one adam
<adamjm> do i make you horny>?
<adamjm> do i make you randy baby?
<Darth_Whack> what turns on a homosexual male such as yourself, Luke?
<adamjm> damn no answer
<Darth_Whack> Let me guess, Chizog gets you hard
<adamjm> i can't handle this rejection
<Darth_Whack> you and Chiz get it on, dont you?
<Chiz_brb> GAAH!
<Chiz_brb> NOOOOOO
<Darth_Whack> Hey chiz, what is it like to f--- Luke F-rd in the ass
<WarmProp> jewish males i'd guess. it's all in the nose babe.
<Darth_Whack> hehehehehe
<adamjm> hehehe
* Chiz_brb denies to comment on the suppleness of Lukes... HEY!!!
<adamjm> damn i'm irish catholic
<adamjm> that rules me out
<Chiz_brb> adam: ditto
<l-keford> i think you're cutey adam
<l-keford> will you suck my dic?
<l-keford> dick?
<adamjm> nope not even when you spell it right
<l-keford> damn
* Chiz_brb sees a big future for l-keford in gay porn.....
<Darth_Whack> Luke is trying for a topic
<adamjm> i just wanted a quick self esteem boost from a gay man finding me attractive
*** Mastrick changes topic to '<l-keford> i think you're (a) cutey adam'
<MadisonFan-> luke- when i see a pic of you sucking dick, ill believe it
<Darth_Whack> you gonna direct him in that, Chiz?
<Chiz_brb> nope nope
<adamjm> i don't think you're gay anyway luke
<adamjm> not that it'd matter anyway
<MadisonFan-> luke- do you swallow or like it all over your face?
<Mastrick> I used to know a fella that'd jump over ten nice pieces of pussy just to get at one hard dick
<MadisonFan-> luke- do you prefer cut or uncut?
<WarmProp> it's some reverse psyhcology trick he's trying to pull off... trying to get pornchicks to make him straight
<Mastrick> Mebbe Luke throws right, bats left and right
<ncdd> wb Darth_Whack
<adamjm> that is true
<adamjm> women like a good homo
<MadisonFan-> "ill crawl over 50 good pussies just to get to one fat boys asshole"
*** Mastrick changes topic to '<MadisonFan-> "ill crawl over 50 good pussies just to get to one fat boys asshole"'
<MadisonFan-> hehe
<Darth_Whack> It's gay pride day in PsT
<Chiz_brb> "I'll say anything to get to be the topic!!"
<adamjm> remind me to not stand too close to madisonfan at CES
<Mastrick> See how long it takes for you to start getting some private messages MF
<MadisonFan-> uh oh, luke is messaging me right now, it worked
*** Mastrick changes topic to '<MadisonFan-> luke- do you swallow or like it all over your face?'
<RayleneFan> hehehehe
<MadisonFan-> luke- you want the pix of my dick?
<MadisonFan-> luke is too busy humping his gun to answer the tough questions
<WarmProp> live by the sword, die by the sword
<MadisonFan-> luke- the bullet will have a hard time coming out if the barrel is full of s---
<adamjm> do you ever hump your pillow when you're drunk luke?
<MadisonFan-> what irony, luke getting killed with a gun that was full of s---
<adamjm> i couldn't think of anything more fitting in his case
Session Start: Thu Nov 11 15:25:29 1999
*** Now talking in #!!!!!!pornstar-trading
*** Topic is '<MadisonFan-> luke- do you swallow or like it all over your face?'
<MadisonFan-> luke- do people enjoy the PsT logs portion of your site?
<adamjm> don't you stop to jack off to what i say before you put up the log luke?
<l-keford> mf, i get feedback to points made in pst logs but not much as to whether it is entertaining or not
<adamjm> we'll have to try harder mad
<adamjm> i'm pretty proud of most of my quotes
<adamjm> i've got some whacked s--- up there
<WarmProp> you should cut out more out of the logs. that one up there just makes no sense in towards the end
<MadisonFan-> i love my quotes, reading the new log, i was great again
* MadisonFan- next stop is the letterman show
<adamjm> it's like an evening at the improv
<MadisonFan-> adamjm, we had a real nice close to the latest log
<MadisonFan-> were gonna be stars
<adamjm> i was a bit disappointed with my act today
<adamjm> i'll try harder tonight
<l-keford> and how am i doing in the vote for journalist of the year?
<Mastrick> Last I saw Luke Rog was in the lead for journalist
<adamjm> luke and mad to check results :
<adamjm> http://www.gigapoll.com/PsTAwards/view.cgi?psttsp
<adamjm> i voted for mean gene ross
<adamjm> rog is more reviews
<adamjm> luke is more entertainment
<MadisonFan-> i voted for Rog cuz of his stand against the people that wanted to change his top 20 list
<adamjm> riley is an asshole
<MastCapping> Hey Luke do you have any pictures of David Sturman, Steve Hirsch, or Russ Hampshire? I always see news about them, but I've never had a face to equate with the news
<njg> is the board lagging?
<WarmProp> idle hell
<njg> you guys don't have anything to talk about??
<asia-fan> what would you wnat us to talk about?
<gunth> yea, start a conversation
<njg> well, I was gonna say that I wasn't mad about what was said about me
<njg> it was cute
<WarmProp> f--- there's no free upgrade to 7.
<asia-fan> why don't we talk about Luke?
<njg> ok
<njg> where is he?
<MastCapping> Hey I've got a topic, NJG. Do you think that Luke is gonna leave you for a new man in his life?
<Sultana^> lol
<njg> lol
<njg> he LOVES me
<njg> he thinks we are twinned
<MastCapping> Luke says he's gay supposedly. I don't know
<asia-fan> it would explain alot
<njg> lol
<Sultana^> don't bend over to find out mast
<MastCapping> But in real life, if someone tells me that they are gay, I usually don't ask for proof
<njg> Well I WON'T bend over that's for sure!
<gunth> maybe he is bi-sexual. looks like njg is in for a three way
<MastCapping> 'Cause no guy in their right mind is gonna say that they are gay when they ain't
<l-keford> :)
<Sultana^> hahahah told you adam
<l-keford> why don't we talk about me for a change?
<njg> well, Luke has two personalities and so do I so there's really four of us!!
<MastCapping> I've gotta agree with Andrew Dice Clay when it comes to bisexuality. Either ya suck dick, or ya don't.
<gunth> never thought about it that way before
<gunth> what about the guy who get shis dick sucked, is he gay too?
<Sultana^> I personal think there is nothing wronge with sucking dick heheh
<MastCapping> Not if there is a woman on the other end, no
<MastCapping> But if ya let a guy suck your dick, you're fag and that's a fact
<njg> wait I live in SF no one is 100%
<Sultana^> men+men=fag
<njg> that's why luke loves me I accept his homosexuality!!
<Sultana^> either that or your male
<adamjm> if a girl has a tongue piercing she'll probably suck your dick
<adamjm> if a guy has a tongue piercing he'll probably suck your dick
<adamjm> luke do you have a tongue piercing?
<Sultana^> lol
<l-keford> no
<adamjm> never?
<adamjm> not even just a little one?
<l-keford> no
<l-keford> piercing against the Torah
<gunth> any other body peircings that don't show?
<l-keford> no
<MastCapping> I've heard that tongue-piercings are good for eating pussy
<njg> luke am I sweetie pie?
<l-keford> yuck, i hate going down on a woman
<Sultana^> yep he is a fag
<adamjm> you don't like pussy?
<gunth> he must be gay
<adamjm> hehe
<adamjm> yep
<adamjm> luke must be gay
<MastCapping> I once knew a fella that couldn't understand why I put my face "down there." I told him that's because they hadn't invented one yet that'd jump up to where my face already was.
<gunth> howhates going down ona woman, but doesn't mind sucking dick
<njg> luke was reading gene ross
<asia-fan> "yuck, i hate going down on a woman" what about men?
<njg> nyah, he just likes to receive
<njg> but I wouldn't know about that really
<adamjm> why do you hate eating pussy luke?
<njg> yeah luke?
<gunth> njg sounds disapointed
<njg> lol, yeah I am....
<Rall_> bye bye all
<adamjm> do you like sucking dick njg?
<njg> but I'm the same way as him, just liking to receive
<njg> no way
<adamjm> you're meant for eachother
<Sultana^> well I think you 2 would suck in bed
<njg> lol
<Sultana^> well I guess not Suck
<adamjm> both born to dissappoint people in bed
<njg> ROTFL!!
<njg> I think we both have ishoos
<MastCapping> Luke and njg in bed. Hmmmm, I can just hear the begging...
<Sultana^> I think you both need a shrink
<njg> we've both been to shrinks for years
<gunth> gay men and the women who love them:next on Opra
<adamjm> why don't you like slobbin the knob njg?
<njg> I think we're both adverts for NOT going!
<WarmProp> hey njg you really XX?
<njg> yeah
<WarmProp> k
<Sultana^> well I am glad njg Ithink you guys need to switch shrinks and find ones that would help you
<adamjm> maybe you should try munching some carpet and luke should try sucking some dick, reverse your rolls and get out of those closets
<adamjm> must find them cumbersome
<njg> :)
<njg> I tell you we're twinned
<njg> I knew it the first I read his website
<adamjm> you didn't asnwer my question
<adamjm> why don't you like slobbin the knob njg?
<njg> I have never known anyone with the same neurosis as me
<gunth> hmmm....muching carpet.....I wish my girlfriend was here
<njg> oh, because I have ishoos
<adamjm> what's ishoos?
<njg> didn't you read luke's site a while back
<Sultana^> how can you what the big deal wrap your lips around suck lick whats the problem
<njg> he interviewed me about my ishoos
<adamjm> i always skip the parts with you
<njg> oh sorry :(
<WarmProp> roids
<l-keford> it smells
<adamjm> i find you boring and disturbing
<Sultana^> what smells ???
<adamjm> you creep me out njg
<njg> why?
<Sultana^> don't you date ppl that f---ing wash
<l-keford> pussy
<njg> what?
<l-keford> stinky
<njg> who doesn't wash?
<Sultana^> well pick a clean girl then not a pig
<adamjm> will you suck my dick luke?
<njg> adam: so why do I creep you out?
<adamjm> it's clean and smells nice
<Pau|B> njg
<MastCapping> A woman is like a postage stamp. Ya gotta lick it before you can stick it
<njg> hi paul :)
<Sultana^> ADAM your not a fag
<gunth> and salty
<Sultana^> he can't suck your did
<Sultana^> dick
<Pau|B> njg my birthday is next week
<Pau|B> are we going out?
<njg> oh really? :)
<adamjm> because i believe you're a seriously disturbed woman
<njg> sure, shhhhh, Lukey is here
<njg> he will FREAK OUT
<Pau|B> hehe
<adamjm> luke has a weird sense of humor
<adamjm> you're just WEIRD
<MastCapping> Eating pussy is a lot like Christmas. You gotta give if you intend to receive
<njg> really adam?
<Sultana^> what would you care he will not eat you anyway said you stink
<njg> paul, you think I'm weird?
<Pau|B> njg: yeah, but in a good way
<adamjm> answer honestly paul
<njg> :)
<adamjm> don't give her the i want to bang her politically correct answer
<njg> paul is my affair behind lukey's back
<njg> lukey isn't here I take it
<LMack> bbl
<njg> besides me and paul live CLOSE to each other :)
<adamjm> luke would you suck dick for a job at AVN?
<njg> and Paul thinks I'm cute!
<njg> and I think Paul is cute!
<adamjm> you live on the same street or share a personality disorder?
<gunth> or the same shrink?
<adamjm> naw
<adamjm> i dont' think paul is nutty
<gunth> I would eat pussy for a job at AVN
<l-keford> no
<njg> I dunno, I just think Paul and I feel bonded
<Sultana^> paul I thought you had taste
<adamjm> njg you've NEVER sucked dick? keep in mind you're under oath
<njg> hi sweetie :)
<njg> lukey you took my age off your site, I assume?
<adamjm> you don't like my line of questioning do you njg?
<njg> no, it is fine
<njg> I don't mind
<gunth> adamjm: you should get a job at avn
<adamjm> i couldn't review porn all day
<njg> yes, but it's all recorded on Luke's site
<adamjm> porn is best in small doses
<njg> I was sexually assaulted
<gunth> you could do interviews
<adamjm> i hear you can go blind..........
<adamjm> s---
<adamjm> i'm sorry NJG
<Sultana^> well that took the teasing outa me :(
<drl> hey
<njg> there's all these books out now about sexual assault
<njg> no it's ok!
<njg> you can tease me!
<njg> better to be teased!
<adamjm> yea
<adamjm> i can't tease you now
<WarmProp_> at what age were you assaulted, njg?
<Sultana^> nope your ruined it
<Sultana^> now I just feel bad
<njg> awww, PLEASE!!
<adamjm> sexual assault isn't funny
<njg> um, at 12 and at 14
<njg> no true
<njg> but you can tease me!!!
<WarmProp_> :)
<adamjm> luke what's hilton hotel's beef with you?
<asia-fan> I think we will just have to switch our teasing to luke now
<njg> You know, it was not a good thing, and there's these books out now about sex and dissassociation
<Sultana^> njg this is nothing to do with you ok .....but luke did some nasty person sit on your face and asult you with a snicky pussy ??
<WarmProp_> no it's just i earlier said i can't believe you're XX when you write like you're 14 sometimes hehe - possible connection?
<njg> awww shoot!
<Sultana^> stincky
<njg> lol
<njg> well, in person I look like in my 20's
<Sultana^> stinky
<njg> it kind of excuses me
<WarmProp_> well it's not about looks at all
<njg> warm I think you are my new shrink!
<adamjm> luke can you do me a favor
<WarmProp_> thanks but no thanks honey
<njg> lol
<adamjm> never utter the words luke thinks about adam from pst in the same sentence again
<adamjm> thank you
<adamjm> hehe
<adamjm> i have a sense of humor but come on
<l-keford> :)
<njg> I actually like all you guys in here
<WarmProp_> well you wanted attention adam
<adamjm> i only like the logs
<adamjm> i don't want homosexual advances from luke
<njg> lol
<njg> you don't have to worry!
<adamjm> not that there's anyting wrong with it
<njg> hi paul :)
<Pau|B> f---in assholes unplugged my network cable
<Pau|B> thanks njg
<drl> re hi
<njg> paul is a sweetie
<gunth> I am trying to decide if I want to drink or do homework tonight
<adamjm> drink
<njg> oh, hi Lukey :)
<gunth> its such a hard desicion
<adamjm> drunk memories last a life time
<adamjm> getting an education is just temporary
<adamjm> course
<njg> gunth you should do your homework!
<adamjm> i dropped out of college
<adamjm> might want to listen to others
<Pau|B> adam you should go back
<njg> drinking ruins your looks
<Pau|B> maybe, i was going to ask you to go out for a drink but i guess that won't work
<njg> well I could have a 7 up!
<adamjm> ask her out for coffee
<njg> or orange juice
<adamjm> or dinner
<adamjm> or sex
<adamjm> quickie at the motel 6
<njg> sex?
<gunth> definatly sex
<Sultana^> where is your pic on lukes site njg
<njg> noooo
<njg> erotica l.a. #99
<njg> that was some stranger on the street that took a pic of me
<njg> the pix of me and luke are like mug shots
<Sultana^> ? how would I find it
<gunth> what is the url?
<njg> under photos
<adamjm> luke i got a serious question for a change
<njg> www.l-keford.com
<adamjm> what kind of digital camera do you have and how much did it cost?
<njg> then photos, scroll to erotica l.a.
<njg> then #99
<Sultana^> yes I am under photos but then what subjects or are you a star ?
<Sultana^> lol
<njg> scroll
<njg> to erotica la.
<adamjm> i'll get the exact url joey
<njg> I'm also under stars, under "g" for girl, nice jewish girl
<njg> he's made me a "star"
<drl> http://www.l-keford.com/images/photos/njg.jpg
<njg> but I also think Paul is cute too!
<njg> I had the day off
<adamjm> NJG would you be offened if i told you you looked like a pothead circa 1972?
<njg> just with super curly hair!
<adamjm> are you experienced NJG?
* Chizog puts down his whiskey and looks around
<njg> experienced in ?
<adamjm> with the doja
<l-keford> sony mavica, $620 before tax
<njg> what's doja?
<adamjm> nevermind
<adamjm> hehe
<njg> is that pot?
<adamjm> obviously not
<adamjm> yea
<njg> yuck!
<Chizog> pog mothoin
<adamjm> dankity dank
<njg> I did that when I was a teen
<njg> looong time ago
<Sultana^> very
<njg> stopped when I turned 18
<njg> yes!
<adamjm> so that was like 30 years ago?
<Chizog> oh come on sult, we all know you're 22
<adamjm> thanks luke
<njg> yeah
<adamjm> so you're 48ish?
<njg> luke, if you print this, take out my AGE!!!!!!
<Sultana^> hahah Chizog
<njg> no
<njg> just turned XX
<adamjm> print it luke
<njg> LUKE DON"T FORGET TO TAKE OUT MY AGE
<adamjm> you'll gain some respect
<adamjm> print her asking you to take it off to
<adamjm> let people know you're not on the take
<njg> No lukey, don't do that
<njg> lol
<njg> so adam you don't think i'm cute :(
<adamjm> you're pretty attractive NJG
<adamjm> but not cute
<njg> you know my DRIVER'S LICENSE looks better I am serious
<xxxgen> XXXgen mag issue 1 is done - we start issue 2 tomorrow
<WarmProp> can we have a .pdf version?
<xxxgen> Also starting first FANtastic! Mag tomorrow
<xxxgen> Warmprop: buy it you cheap bastard!!! :)
<WarmProp> adobe acrobat format chiz
<WarmProp> but we're here for your emotional support craig it would only fair! :)
<xxxgen> gotta get the mag for the three page Kendra pull out
<WarmProp> i still don't understand what exactly luke does at fantastic? what's his role really?
<xxxgen> I get it - you're a JEW!!!! :)
<l-keford> yes craig
<xxxgen> laff**
<xxxgen> Luke is all that is bad - so when I call someone a 'jerk' it is actually Disney in comparison
<l-keford> :)
<WarmProp> you know he's gonna bite you in the ass one day
<l-keford> hey WP
<WarmProp> and you're not gonna laff about it :)
<WarmProp> hey luke
<l-keford> HEY , shut up WP
<l-keford> :)
<xxxgen> :)
<WarmProp> naw
<WarmProp> i'm a voice here luke, you're not :)
<l-keford> wp, i am a publisher's best friend
<adamjm> luke is your best friend craig?
<A_Stupid_Dirty_Girl> yer a dog's best friend, Lukey boy
<l-keford> craig?
<xxxgen> don't come to me to back ya up there!!! I've only talked to ya three times!!! :)
<l-keford> I'm signing as a contract boy for Sin City, only will appear in Matt's pornos
<l-keford> Hey Jewporner, lynne tells me you
<l-keford> re really cute
<jewporner> not as cute as you are, luke
<jewporner> luke, she seem like a xanaxed out burn out
<`^-_-^`> be a vivid guy Luke.
<zoexxx> lol
<MikeSouth> lynn is a moron it appears
<l-keford> hey jew, would you like me to set you up, she's real easy
<jewporner> vivid make money, that counts for something
<MikeSouth> be a Falcon guy Luke
<jewporner> by the way, luke, i do lay on t'fillen
<zoexxx> what the hell is t'fillen?
<l-keford> when do you lay on tiffilin?
<l-keford> before or after u lay on zoe?
<jewporner> i have two personal rabbis that visit me regularly
<J0HNG0TTI> l-keford: are doin the teffilin also?
<l-keford> Ur kidding me?
<l-keford> i have not laid tefillin in over a year
<jewporner> zoe, that is the way jews cleanse themselves with prayer
<l-keford> hey jew, are the rabbis helping you
<zoexxx> ahhhh
<l-keford> was it my influence jew?
<jewporner> they have some very powerful prayers and pray for me and my family every day
<zoexxx> can you guys eat pickles?
<J0HNG0TTI> hava, nagila hava......
<JT27> lol
<PapillionLover> lol
<jewporner> as a matter of fact, we perfer pickles
<l-keford> was it a nice jewish funeral? did lynne describe it accurately?
* BobBlec likes pickles
<zoexxx> kosher ones?
<jewporner> what's with you and this lynn anyway, she is a space case
<MikeSouth> Kendra is THE QUEEN of manufactured Housing
<zoexxx> why does it take so long to put a film out compared to a vid
<`^-_-^`> Luke kisses You!!!!!!
*** BobBlec is now known as MahirFord
<MahirFord> Zoe: film takes a lot more processing time
<MahirFord> "Welcome to my page! I have porn scoops! I kiss you!"
<zoexxx> i see
<zoexxx> so what am I promoting at CES
<l-keford> lf.com
<MahirFord> Zoe: besides pure unbridled lust?
<jewpornbuyer> welcome to page i have many porn scoops all lies but i kiss you!!!!!!!!!
<jewporner> zoe, it doesn't take longer but sin city usually shoots their shows months in advance inorder to promote them successfully
<jewporner> zoe, you will be signing a special flyer created exclusivly for you
<Mastrick> Turkish for homosexual
<jewporner> stop being such a worry wort
<MikeSouth> hmmmm is this Matt Taylor management 101
<zoexxx> i would die if i didn't worry
<Mastrick> Hmmm....Vivid Raw. That's kinda like saying 'Free-Will Baptist,' or 'Southern intellectual'
<`^-_-^`> Seventh Day Agnostic
<jewporner> this is porn management 102
<zoexxx> matt is my confidence builder
<MikeSouth> hilton wont sue you
[zoexxx SOUND]
<l-keford> oh
<MikeSouth> they dont wanna call attention to the incident
<jewporner> los angeles is a good place to visit
<jewporner> but i wouldn't like to live there, too many flakes
<jewporner> if atleast 20 people are not killed or mutilated in a movie, i don't like it
<MikeSouth> hey Luke put me down for ten on Christy lake
<slaxl> keep that in mind.... but don't get the butter
<zoexxx> lol
<slaxl> bye
<MikeSouth> whats the odds on that one
*** slaxl has quit IRC (Quit: Leaving)
<Mastrick> Looks like Hirsch already discovered Nina. At least Vivid has filmed her
<zoexxx> what are you betting on
<MikeSouth> jewporner if it doesnt have anals and facials I dont like it
<`^-_-^`> has anyone ever seen Slash's face?
<MikeSouth> who is suing Luke
<Sinatra153> who isn't?
<BobBlec> this week?
<`^-_-^`> Mathew, Mark and John
<jewporner> luke, i just looked at some of your posted pics of your friend lynn and it seems stupid for her to pose with a gun after she was arrested for possession of a gun
<zoexxx> lmao
<zoexxx> i want a gun
<zoexxx> i had fun shooting one on sunday
<l-keford> u can come see mine
<Mastrick> Guns and pornography are not compatible
<MikeSouth> sure they are mast
<MikeSouth> Im a gun totin pornographer
<`^-_-^`> Buck Adams never made a movie without a gun did he?
<MikeSouth> a gun totin libertarian pornographer