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Monday, October 18th, 1999

Tony Everready

Short black porner Tony Everready says what a horrible person is Charles Stone of Caesar Video, a black porner back East. He supposedly cheats customers and his contract girls.

Tony, in porn since 1992, made a deal with a NY company (John Hanson of Bedtime Productions) to find talent for their productions. "They have more latin girls and asian girls willing to do scenes. Get them to come out here. Girls there are more laid back there and willing to get into the business. John wants me to run Bedtime Productions West. I'll oversee casting and locations...

"I help Jim Lane and others cast. I meet girls in strip clubs and get them into the business..."

Jewish Prophecy

Chaim Amalek writes: Dear Luke: 1. Tell your mom to leave the prophecy business to me. I know best what the true meaning of naturally occuring phenomena is. And besides, I am jewish, and as we all know, jews make the best, most widely accepted prophets. (Think Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Freud, Marx, Aaron Spelling, Spielberg, Alan Greenspan . . .)

On the other hand, as described by Jerry Falafel and that other guy who owns all those TV stations and wanted to be President, I could well be the Anti Christ and not even know it! (You and ALL porners, ESPECIALLY CLOSETED JEWISH PORNERS should read the "Left Behind" series of books for more on this.)

2. You indeed ARE making your livelihood off of the flesh of innocent (and not so innocent) gentile (and jewish)girls who permit the porners to defile (or at least pay) them. Face facts, Luke! But for the porn business, what would you now be doing with your life? Acting? Would've happened by now. Writing? Maybe - but would you have more or less money to your name? Would you get to hang out with porners, an ego boost if ever there was one? And what about all those young if-not-hot-then-at-least-above-freezing porn chicks you presumable engage in social intercourse with? Because of porn, you are famous, which in the end will help you get laid by non-porn chicks; even the stuck-up jewish ones who appear to be rebuffing you will come around as your fame increases.

3. Re the doggie news, my neighbor's dog Sam has the following to say: RUFF RUFF RUFF. BOW WOW RUFF RUFF BOWW WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW RUFF RUFF GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (My neighbor's dog is VERY disturbed - it all seems perfectly unnatural to him.) By the way, if you ever want to know if a woman is willing to accept you as you are, just show her a compilation of all your Lassie articles.

Wow, you piss away more of your life on-line than I do . . .

1. The "Left Behind" books are one of the best selling series of books of the 90's. Written for adults who do not feel comfortable reading anything that is more sophisticated than what a sixth grader reading at grade level can follow, they address certain beliefs widespread among protestant fundamentalists regarding the rapture. You know - one instant you are talking to your christian friends and the next instant a third of them have been spirited to heaven, all without warning. To see these issues addressed on film in a very adult manner (meant in the positive sense) rent "The Rapture" starring the sublime Mimi Rogers (that Tom Cruise dumped her for that Aussie Stick Chick is proof enough for me that he ain't playing for the home team) and David Duchovny. (Both of whom are of at least partial jewish descent, by the way. Mimi, if you can read this I WANT YOU.) Actually, you should rent or buy that video no matter what. It will really get you thinking no matter your religious beliefs.

2. I have no idea if you will make it as a (nonporn) actor. I know nothing about the field, save that vast numbers of men and women want in and will kiss any ass, suck any body part to make it. Are your jaws up to it? I still say your best shot is to do something autobiographical. Maybe get your own TV show on local cable access. Go easy on the Rover Report.

3. Who is Mike Albo? What is LFP? Too lazy to look them up right now. Does the xxx afford you the opportunity to bang hot non-contagious chicks, and not require much of your time? If yes, then if it were me (and I don't mean to say that this is advice for you - just that if it were ME) I would jump on it.

Black Men, White Women

Luke's heard that major manufacturers have told their shooters to diminish scenes or black men doing white women for features.

Mike Paul writes: Calling the Chicago office got me Playboy TV in California. I talked to Claire Z. (maybe close; I was scrawling), who:

a) Confirmed that in the past (before her time) Playboy *did* have a policy of not buying movies that contained BM/WF scenes. (this is the first Playboy-originated confirmation I've ever heard of.)

b) Stated that Playboy has *not*, emphatically NOT returned to such a policy.

She was very, very, very adamant that she had no time to look into the issue because she knew Playboy wasn't involved, and did *not* want to get back to me about it. So, that's the story so far. My quest for the other outlets that have been telling porn producers to knock off BM/WF scenes continues. Claire suggested New Frontier, who seems to run the TEN satellite network. I'll try looking them up tomorrow. Again, if anyone has any other cable (or satellite) company's phone number so I can call, please feel free to write... Mike Paul... I'm not sure who else has the pull required to influence the whole industry, unless it's a lot of little places...

Gossip

KBeech has fired Farrah last Wednesday for not showing up to shoots. The last time they shot her was April. She was a flake, like most of the girls in this business.

I hear that Hustler magazine will be running a bestiality photo.

Chessie Moore may be doing another dog movie.

Luke needs a bodyguard type to go with him to an important but scary meeting with the porn Mafia in West LA on Wednesday at noon.

Shay Sweet will be leaving Sin City.

An intoxicated Mad Jack phoned Luke from Las Vegas after midnight Monday morning.

Mad Jack: "I've got two shots of Tia's little sister in my bathroom. One with her legs spread and one with shaving cream on her pussy...

"I was putting my fingers in Tia's little sister's pussy and saying, 'Tia, I have to do both of you right now.' No, no, no, baby, I'm taking her home. f--- that. To make a long story short, I lost the argument. Tia's coming back in a few minutes. I'll f--- her, I don't care. And I'm getting the other one tomorrow. I said, Tia, look, you know I've got a blowjob scene with your sister. And she said, I know, that's fine. I'm going to get my guy Brian over here and do a scene for '18 in Vegas.' This girl is fine dude and she looks her age. Just four months past 18.

"I'm so bummed. I said, let's get you undressed and shoot some pictures and she was out of her clothes in two seconds. She's a very attractive negro girl. You don't get 'em like this in LA, Luke. Why does this s--- fall into my lap? Am I deserving? Do I have to ask for forgiveness somewhere? I think I oughta give praise. If it's Satan, then I'll deal with it.

"She said, I know that these pictures you're taking are going to f---ing Luke. My girl Tia has some f---ing buddy across the street who said something about seeing her paddled ass on your site. She called me from his house tonight, Charlie said this and this and that... Tia, even though she's black, she won't f--- black guys. She's telling me about this guy Charlie and she's trying to make me feel jealous, which I never will in a million years. Tia's dying to show her little sis this picture of her spanked ass, and I'm trying to get this girl to work for me and I'm showing her Tia's blown out wrecked ass... Honey, I'm really not a freak.

"She's got perfect little natural titties. I took her into the bathroom. Tia's like, you can shave her tomorrow. I'm like no, let's shave her pussy now. I figured I'd get her in the bathroom and play with her clit a little bit and I did dip my finger and she's f---ing dripping wet. And I say, come on girls, let's just do a double thing right now. I need a couple of shots. Tia's going no way, you just want to put them on Luke F-rd. I said, no I don't. I need to send them to Kevin. I need to get them approved by Kevin. I just need both of you sucking my dick real quick. I'm trying to work it as hard as I can dude, and it wasn't working. That's because I've been hanging with Tia for a month and she knows they were going straight to you."

Sunday afternoon Mad Jack phoned: "Damn, it's been a long five days. We've been down at that Swinger's Club, last night for 12 hours, and we shot all kinds of stuff. Anal scenes, swingers join in... I had a cute Cuban and a Latin girl. I had my girlfriend Tia and Jennifer do a catfight smothering video. We had a major crowd in this orgy room.

"I've finally got some peace and quiet. I needed this house back to myself. I got rid of my girlfriend yesterday. She's copping attitudes too much..."

Luke: "She looks pretty friendly in those pictures."

MJ: "She is, she's a sweetheart but she's starting to smother me and she's showing these jealousy trips and I can't deal with that in this business. I might hang with her a little bit but I think I will probably tell her later today that I've got to do my thing. And if she wants to hang, she sorta can... I've got stuff I need to do all week.

"We did a follow up make up thing for Area 51... I popped by the Area 51 sign but my buddy Marco was out of it... So we magically appeared in the Orgy room because the whole Area 51 thing was that we were getting swooped up on spaceships. We didn't end up going to the Sting show though we did get passes. The girls went in and did whatever, I didn't ask.

"We're going to do some Euro stuff but I won't go into detail on that.

"I've got some idiot emailing and he calls... I don't return his calls. Just let people that I am not seeking male talent. If I don't return an email, it means that I am not interested. This guy makes me nervous...

"I'm seeking talent for an anal scene... madjack@lvcm.com... I don't need a big star. Somebody new... I don't want to spend a lot of money. Anal is tough to find here [Las Vegas]. Most of the girls I deal with are Cheetahs and Crazy Horse 2 [strippers]...and they've got boyfriends and anal is not really their thing. I never heard back from that Oriental girl [Jennifer] you had on your site...

"When I read [yesterday] about your needing to ask forgiveness. From whom are you going to ask forgiveness and for what?

"Are you unhappy with your life? You know that you are a pornographer."

Luke: "No I'm not."

MJ: "You are a pornographer. You make your living off the porno industry so you are actually a pornographer. I know you don't like to admit that because you hang with your rabbi and you do Jewish things but my friend you're deep. You love laughing at my stories and you're there... You're part of the biz... If you don't print our phone conversation verbatim, I promise you Gene Ross will."

Luke: "I think he's tapped my phone."

MJ: "No way. Gene wouldn't do that.

"Seneca is coming out November 4th and we're going to shoot a feature for KBeech. Seneca did abort my kid... Seneca is where my heart is...

"Tia is worried that her dad will see Tia's little sister so she doesn't want her to do hardcore, just some photo shoots to take some money back to Carolina... Tia has a sugar daddy who pays her rent... I know where Tia's head is at right now and she'll pretty much do whatever I tell her to do...

  1. Jennifer Leigh

  2. Jennifer

  3. Jennifer

  4. Jennifer

  5. Jennifer

  6. One tough chick, Tia

  7. Mad Jack blown away by Tia

  8. Marco after sex change

  9. Marco

  10. Jennifer

  11. Jennifer

  12. Jennifer

  13. Jennifer

  14. Tia's sister

  15. sister

  16. sister

  17. sister

  18. sister

  19. sister

  20. sister

  21. sister

  22. sisters

Seymore Butts Controversy

Tony writes: Luke, I am a semi-regular who has never had a reason to contribute until reading the post from “Under Cover Angel” but my roommate came home last week with a bundle of cash and a bag with two Seymour Butts movies in it.

He told me this story about how this older man approached him in the parking lot as he was just getting to work (my roommate works for one of the big phone companies). He said the guy knew his name, called himself “Ed” and said he needed some help with a private matter. It turns out that Ed wanted 6 years of phone records on a certain individual. He said he had all the basic information my roommate would need and went into this long story about him working for a guy in the porn industry and how important this would be and that he was only interested in long distance calls and then he offered my roommate $200 cash for the info, my roommate explained he could lose his job and asked for double plus a couple of movies.

Ed didn’t hesitate and they arranged to meet for lunch at a nearby restaurant. My roommate said he was nervous because he could only get to 4 years of records but went to the restaurant anyway, and found Ed sitting at a table. He said Ed seemed very happy even though he wasn’t able to get all 6 years. Then Ed told him to order anything he wants, placed a $20 bill on the table, handed him a plastic bag, told him to have a great lunch and got up and walked away. The fact that Seymour’s name was mentioned in the same post as the private investigator rumor and that my roommate was basically bribed with Seymour Butts videos started me thinking.

When I asked my roommate to read the post he recognized Pinkousky’s name as the one Ed was so interested in. This is obviously no coincidence do you know what Seymour and Adam & Eve are fighting about? Have you heard any other good Ed stories? Counting on you for some answers.

Luke: Here's last week's post again: Undercoverangel writes: Luke, Here are some of the tidbits floating around the ECVS...

The reason for the spilt between Seymore Butts and Alisha Klass seems to be some sort of fall out from the mounting legal problems Seymore is facing. Also, it sounds like Seymore’s other ex, Taylor Hayes, has found herself caught in the middle of Seymore’s three year court battle with Adam and Eve. Apparently certain checks written to Taylor have become points of contention in the case, along with millions of dollars allegedly misappropriated by Seymore. Many high profile people seem to be involved in one way or another including Alisha Klass, Vivid’s Steve Hirsch, IEG Seth Warshavsky, Adam and Eve’s Mary Gates and Ulitmate’s Nick Pinkousky. Rumors have a private investigator asking lots of questions about the Adam and Eve / Ultimate relationship.

Mike Albo Threatens

Last week Luke wrote that Mike Albo, editor of Hustler Erotic Video Guide, was hanging around on a Wicked Pictures set wearing nothing but fairy wings.

I recieved these phone messages from Mike Friday.

Mike 9:12 AM: "Hello Luke, it is pretty clear that you never learn your lesson. I'm refering to the stupid little reference to me today on your site which you know is not true. But yet you put it up there. So this is what I'm putting on your table. You have a choice: I'm either going to break your nose or I'm going to knock one of your teeth out, the next time I see you. And believe me, I'll do it. Because unlike you, I follow through with everything I say.

"Contact a lawyer. Go ahead and call the police and tell them that I am threatening you. Just so you know, I'm going to mess you up pal."

Mike at 9:22AM: "Hello Luke. I think we need to get this out of the way now. Please meet me in front of the Flynt Building today October 15 at noon. I'll be waiting and I'm going to beat your ass right there on the street. So if you're half a man, you'll show up.

"Bring a boxing glove. Better yet, bring your gun because the only thing that is going to stop me from kicking your ass is if you shoot me, but even then I'll probably grab your gun and beat you senseless with it. So, I'll be waiting for you."

Mike at 1:23 PM: "Hello Luke, I waited for you and you didn't show up. Big surprise. It's really funny that you can act like such a tough guy from the safety of your apartment but you will never face the consequences of any of your actions. I'm referring to me. I'm going to beat your ass. You can either stop this bulls--- that you continue to do or you can get your ass kicked. I've met a lot of people in my life that I dislike but you I hate. I really hate you. I thought you learned your lesson when I dumped your ass in Boyle Heights. Do me a favor. Stop posting this stupid s--- about me. You know I'm not gay. You know that I wasn't on that set. Don't hide behind that it's satire or it's comedy. Because it's not very satirical and it's not very funny.

"Keep all these voice mails because when a little pussy like you goes to take me to court, at least you'll have some evidence. Which shows you that I don't care what you do. Sometimes you've just got to take a stand. I don't mind getting sued and I don't mind going to jail."

Late Friday afternoon, I told Mike's voicemail that John Douglas and I wanted to take him out. Take him out to lunch. Meaning, lunch is on us, pal. Meet us in front of l-keford.com headquarters at 264 S. La Cienega Blvd in Beverly Hills Tuesday at noon.

Monday at 8:53 AM: Mike left this message: "Two things Lukey baby. Number one, don't ever f---ing threaten me. Number two, today's Monday. Be out front of the Flynt building at noon and I'm going to beat your ass on the street. You don't threaten me and you don't take a f---ing attitude with me so be out there today and take your beating like a man. And, oh by the way, usually when you try to threaten somebody, you do it by yourself, you don't imply that somebody else is going to be there. So show up today by yourself and take your beating like a man."

John Douglas writes Luke: Hey you s---! I just got your latest update. I don't buy anybody a free lunch, especially guys that are looking to kick YOUR ass.

9:17 AM: "Hello Luke, it is Mike Albo. It is Monday morning. This is my second message. Somebody explained to me that you are doing this just to get me angry and get some attention for yourself and the more I thought about it, the more I thought that they were probably right. So I am not going to play your stupid little game. You can show up here if you want today at noon but I would advise against it. I'm going to wait until I run into you, maybe up in Las Vegas this year, at the CES, and I'm going to blindside you. I'm going to break your jaw and I'm going to break your nose. And I hope you have insurance because you're going to need it to pay for the reconstructive surgery. And if you think I'm kidding, I guess you'll have to wait until the next time we meet."

Brandy Alexandre writes: Poor Mike Albo. He's upset about the fairy wings reference and gripes that you put it up knowing it wasn't true. Like, duh. There's no way anyone could possibly mistake it for being true, so what's he upset about? It's not like you said he did great danes with a strap-on, which is *possible* yet improbable (I hope). The only reason I can see for him getting so violently upset is that he saw a bit of truth in the statement. Perhaps he's all flustered because he actually sits around the house in nothing but fairy wings and your obvious bit of fiction hit too close to home. Now he has to prove his manhood, which no one even questioned until he reacted that way, by threatening to punch you out. Something he might wish to talk to his therapist about this week. (Oops, there I go saying something that I don't know is true, but could be true. Now, that's something that would cause him to be understandably upset. See the difference?)

Luzdedos1: update your f---ing site
Ultraindy [John Douglas of TalkingBlue.com]: I had to hold off for a minute. Got a scoop that I am waiting for a call back on.
Ultraindy: Imagine that, waiting to verify a source for a story.
Ultraindy: How f---ing novel.
Ultraindy: Staying in tonight to post the update though.
Luzdedos1: what's the sccop?
Ultraindy: I tell you, it's no longer a scoop, right?
Ultraindy: Plus it ain't verified yet.
Ultraindy: And you wouldn't want to run pure speculation or innuendo, right?
Ultraindy: Might slur your reputation as an upstanding member of pornographic society.
Ultraindy: I'll give you a hint: it has to do with the upcoming DangerBoy Video release where you suck me off on the backlot. Rumors are flying that I was working without a valid HIV test and that you are not on an AIM quarantine list since you (eagerly) took the money shot in your mouth and eyes.

Amalek writes: Luke, I hesitated to write to you now, because the close spacing of these messages makes it seem like I am some sort of internet junkie, or worse, your alter-ego. (Do any of your friends or acquaintances not think that I am you and that you are me? Why else would I decline to have a three-way phone call with you and someone else? Seen any good movies lately?) Still, write I must, because you are faced with an opportunity that cannot be overlooked. Its name is Mike Albo, a man about whom I know nothing except that 1. he works for Hustler, which is owned by megamillionaire Larry Flint, and 2. he wants to beat you up. My advice to you is this: Do not run. Do not hide. Do not call the police. Instead, print even more stuff likely to piss him off. Accuse him of running an animal shelter for nefarious purposes. Tell the world he screws bagels. Say anything, so long as it pisses him off. Then, when he is good and pissed at you, you agree to meet him to prove that he is not "man enough" to do anything about you, but not in front of your apartment, and not alone.

No, you meet him at the local Holocaust memorial/museum or that Museum Against Hate that there must be out there. You show up in tfillin, a tallis, a big yarmulke, a yellow star of david on your back etc. A short distance away is NJG with a video camera. You have a sign - a big sign - that protests the objectification of women that is the hallmark of Hustler magazine. Then you whisper more words calculated to enrage him as he approaches, and he beats the crap out of you, all the while being taped by NJG, who when she feels you have had enough, calls the cops.

Imagine the headlines when the jewish controlled media gets wind of this story - an anti-porn jew on his way to the antihate museum is beaten by an employee of the Pornographer Larry Flynt! (It really will help that neither Flynt nor this guy are jews.) Oy vey!

I see you granting interviews from your hospital bed, being fetted by the Weisenthal Center, testifying before a committee meeting chaired by one of your Jewish senators. And filing suit against this guy and - here is the key part - Larry Flynt enterprises for the BIG money. Yeah, a beating will hurt a bit, but you stand to make MILLIONS out of the deal! Money that will enable you to live a life of leisure, studying the sacred texts and banging porn chicks. Luke, the next move is yours!

Celebrity Lesbians

According to: http://www.itv.se/~a1042/mainpage.htm

Jordan Lee & Caressa Savage, Kaitlyn Ashley & Sindee Coxx, Celeste & Dyanna Lauren, Sharon Mitchell & Chelsea Manchester, Shiloh & Tammy Dukes, Jacklyn Lick & Ashley Renee, Nikki Dial & Julia Hayes, Janine Lindemulder & Julia Ann, Amber Lynn & Danielle Felecia & Celeste, P.J. Sparxx & Jill Kelly, Summer Cummings & Skye Blue, Kelly O'Dell & Nikki Dial, Janine Lindemulder & Jill Kelly, Alexis DeVell & Shayla Laveaux.

Mainstream lesbians: A Joey Lauren Adams, Tori Amos, Ann-Margaret, Pamela Anderson

B Crystal Bernard, Tallulah Bankhead, Amanda Bearse, Chastity Bono, Louise Brooks

C Naomi Campbell, Neneh Cherry

D Neriah Davis, Marlene Dietrich, Amanda Donohoe, Ellen DeGeneres, Ani DiFranco

E Britt Ekland

F Jodie Foster, Jane Fonda, Linda Fiorentino, Isla Fisher

G Greta Garbo

H Anne Heche, Linda Hamilton, Sophie B Hawkins, Geri Halliwell, Camilla Henemark, Whitney Houston

Billie Jean King, Angelina Jolie

K Sylvia Kristel, L Hudson Leick, Regina Lund,

M Alanis Morrisette, Kelly McGillis, Shae Marks, Madonna, Roxanne Micheals, Mason Marconi

N Olivia Newton-John

O Rosie O'Donnell

P Linda Perry

Julia Roberts

S Victoria Silvstedt, Alicia Silverstone, Tori Spelling, Jill Sobule, Julie K. Smith, Kristy Swanson, Sara St. James, Ally Sheedy, Paige Summers

T Elizabeth Taylor, Alice Temple

U V W Peta Wilson, Sophie Ward, Rachel Williams, Carrie Westcott

Z Lora Zane

Mike South vs Brandy Alexandre

Mike South writes: Luke, tell Brandy to kindly stick to fantasizing that she is writing a book and restrain from fantasizing that she is a pharmacologist. Penicillin still works on most strains of syphillis, not that it matters because many much more powerful wide spectrum antibiotics are readily available. Drug resistant strains are a matter of evolution and there is no plausible evidence that over medication is responsible. I do hold. personally that medication should be a last result but your mileage may vary. Also tell Brandy I am still waiting for her printout....I'll hand type it for free, because I don't believe any book ever existed except in her fantasies. Go for it BA.

BrandyAlx1: I think it's Mike South's bitter flame fantasies that should be subject to discussion on your site. He obviously likes to know that his words appear in print, but apparently can't get anyone to read the responses to him. I'm not going to defend myself against likes of South. He can believe whatever he wants if it helps him get off. There's dozens of people who know differently. The wonders of the universe are not limited to what Mike South believes or what Mike South knows. If it did I think we'd all commit suicide. BrandyAlx1: And by the way, I would never claim to be a "pharmacologist." As the subject line began, I go my information from a science publication. If it's wrong don't blame me.

Mike: Now Brandy, is that amy way to respond to a guy who is trying to help you out, I mean I offered to retype all 500+ pages at no charge, just send em to me, provided of course, that they exist.