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- Wednesday, June 23rd, 1999
Today's Wall Street Journal
For Luke F-rd, the Daily Grind Has Become Surprisingly Exotic
By NANCY KEATES
Staff Reporter of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
LOS ANGELES, CA. -- On a typical day, Luke F-rd picks up the kids, drops them off at school and baby-sits in the afternoons. He takes their mother shopping at the mall, waits while she has her hair and nails done, then drives her to work. But Mr. Ford is not a husband, father or even a nanny, and his passenger's work isn't exactly standard: She's an exotic dancer.
Mr. Ford, a 32-year-old tae kwon do black belt, has found one of the more peculiar niches on the American urban landscape these days: He earns about $1,000 a week providing Los Angeles porn stars with safe and reliable transportation. The job, which is getting more popular by the day, doesn't stop at the wheel. Most of the drivers are also de facto bodyguards, confidants and handymen to dozens of women at a time.
Jim Schaefer owns three strip clubs in New Jersey that provide dancers with the names and phone numbers of drivers who cater to the exotic-dance trade. "The girls can call them whenever they need to," he says.
Never before have so many strippers and porners needed a ride. The number of strip or "gentlemen's" clubs nationwide has tripled over the past decade to about 10,000. At the same time, new laws in some parts of the country have pushed strip clubs to the outskirts of town, sometimes to more dangerous areas, says Sharon Mitchell, a former dancer. Ms. Mitchell, who now runs a medical-care clinic in Los Angeles that caters to the health problems of dancers and sex-industry workers, says an occupational hazard of stripping is harassment or worse by strip-club patrons. This leaves many dancers, who come and go at odd hours, often afraid of going anywhere alone, or with someone (like standard taxi drivers) they don't know or trust, Ms. Mitchell says.
In Los Angeles, a city with about 65 strip clubs, the number of drivers catering to strippers has doubled in the past five years. Mr. Ford, a round-faced, wholesome-looking man who wears hiking boots with his shorts and polo shirts, was one of the first to get into the business in 1992, when he graduated from college with an arts degree and couldn't find a job in advertising. The driver job was suggested by a friend who worked as a bouncer in a strip club and saw a potentially lucrative occupation.
Mr. Ford started with a white Ford Escort and a pager, and envisioned a life of long stretches alone with beautiful, skimpily clad women. Instead, it has turned into a job of 18-hour days, sometimes involving squabbles with men who try to follow the dancers home. As for romance? Forget it, he says. "It's like being a father to a household of rowdy teenage girls."
On a recent Saturday morning, Mr. Ford gets a call at 8:55 on his cell phone from one of two dozen regular clients. (Most strip bars open around 11 a.m., but some start as early as 7.) He marks her name down on his "Driver Luke's Daily Schedule" pad. To prepare for the day, he cleans his 1985 red and silver eight-seater Dodge van, discarding beer cans and fast-food wrappers. (The beer cans aren't his; Mr. Ford doesn't drink.)
First stop: A worn, mustard-colored ranch house with a mattress in the driveway and the curtains drawn. A boyfriend, smoking a cigarette, answers the door, and Mr. Ford steps back a few feet. He has had trouble (arguments but never an actual fight) with jealous boyfriends before, and this one is always surly. Given his black-belt status, Mr. Ford isn't worried about a physical threat, but he'd like to keep this client. Keeping clients is why Mr. Ford no longer dates strippers; every time he'd go out with one she'd stop calling him for rides, he says.
That also helps explain why he is single, since most women won't date him when they find out what he does for a living. His parents, a truck driver and a nurse, aren't bothered by his career choice, but they are eager for him to get married and have children. "His job has no benefits and not much of a future," says his father, Brian Ford. "But it seems to suit him, and if that's what he wants to do, then I just want him to be happy."
At midnight, Mr. Ford returns to his warehouse apartment and climbs into his loft bed for his six hours of sleep -- alone. "The few years on this job feel like centuries," he says, his cat Meow Meow at his feet. "It's a tragicomedy kind of job."
Justice Department Cracks Down
FBI agents swarmed across the San Fernando Valley this morning, arresting leading members of the American porn industry for anti-trust violations that include price fixing. At arraignment this morning, Vivid impressario Steve Hirsch wore a tasteful purple chiffon gown which accentuated all his curves.
Graced by his favorite black fishnet stockings and high dominatrix heels, Paul Fishbein stood quietly in a pink foofi dress. In an unusual move, the Los Angeles district attorney placed a placard around the neck of the AVN publisher which read "King of the Jews," and planted upon his head a crown of thorns.
"If you're truly the son of god, then save yourself," said the DA.
Fishbein replied in a quiet but firm voice, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No porner comes to the godfather but through me."
The only porner at arraignment dressed like a man was Free Speech Coalition president Gloria Leonard, but this came as no surprise to distinguished observers of adult entertainment.
In a statement just released by the White House, President Clinton declared Russ Hampshire, Lenny Friedlander and company "very naughty boys who needed to be spanked."
While watching videotape of a chiffon-less Hirsch taking it up the ass from a strap-on wielding Janine, Dutch pornographer Charlie Geerts said the arrests did not interest him nearly as much as the rumor that Marc Davis and Kobe Tai had split up.
Interviewed by NBC's Today show, Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward explained that the Justice Department crackdown was inevitable given the climate of hatred and hysteria whipped up by l-keford.com.
Legal observers expect porners to adopt the innovative strategy successfully used by Goalie Entertainment head Edward Wedelstedt who has long explained his five years in prison for dealing in stolen property as "a harmless expression of constitutionally protected free speech."
Email: "My name is Tracy Anthony (screen name, Dic Tracy ). I am the husband of Sahara Sands. We we broke up about a year ago, but we are still freinds. I have worked crew on alot of sets, and I still do when I can get the work. I also work as one of the stage managers here at the "Stage." And I also do alot of no sex rolls in alot of videos, and have been in alot of Jenna' s Videos. But most of all I was Jenna's bodyguard when she first started going on the road. At some point Jenna felt it would be best to let me go, and Dr. X started going on the road with her... I still care for Jenna as a freind and want nothing but the best for her. It is not easy being on the road, and if anyone that has not been out there think it is you should try it. Mr. Ford not trying to sound big and bad, but before making her look bad, try walking in her shoes. And if Jenna ever needed someone to go on the road with her, if I could get away I would be more then happy to go with her."
Meeting Peter North
Matt Sanborn from Angry Youth Comix writes: Wanted to give you a report on the opening of a new adult store in Rhode Island, (which I won't name). However, I did get a chance to meet and rap with Serenity, Misty Rain, Crystal Knight, Katie Gold, Jewel De Nyle and her date Peter North. Peter North, first off, was one of the nicest, funniest guys I've met in the business. He was engaging and talked to us in depth about his meeting Traci Lords, (doesn't care too much for her), Ginger Lynn (loved her), Ron Jeremy, (eats off other's plates), and the amazing Jeanna Fine, (the best actress in the biz according to North). He's going to be in a movie with Jewel De Nyle he will hopefully film on an American Airforce base, and says he has a few tenuous leads to get permission to film on the base. Jewel De Nyle is hot hot hot and was also really great. She smells soooo good. Crystal Knight is possibly the naturally most atractive babe in the business. She is really hot to look at up close without the glare of lights and that cheesy video feel. She's very articulate and friendly as well. I should have asked them what they thought about you, Luke. Maybe when I do my full interview with North I'll ask him. Also, I've got some great interviews with Jeanna Fine, Asia Carerra, and a lot of s--- on Tiffany Million as she names names.
Darren Star, Death and the City
Yesterday we told you about Darren Star, producer of the HBO TV show Sex and the City, who left a dead 19 year old girl in his hotel room back in December of 1995, but has never been held accountable thanks to a media coverup by his friends in the New York media.
Krash says: According to Joanna Molloy's elliptically written Daily News item, her [Leigh Zermuhlen] mother's name was Kathleen Ryan--and supposedly is an actress. At one of the number I spoke to a relative, and at the other, a got some panicked female who said, "I don't know who you are"--and hung up. I'm thinking some sort of quick and quiet financial arrangement was made.
Now when I stumbled into this, I was not looking for Darren Star--in fact, did not know who he was. Rather, I was troubled by the idea of a story in which a nameless "small-time producer" was able to skip out on this thing...all the way to Hawaii. And suddenly the story vanished...only to reappear in the New York Observer in a puff piece on Joanna Molloy--who in fact had deliberately muddied the trail--a suckjob tribute to Molloy's reportorial skills in "getting the goods" on party-girl Zermuhlen.
Here's where it gets interesting: I asked Baird Jones, who was a desk assistant for the "Rush and Molloy" column, who the "small time producer" was. And Baird said, "Darren Star". And I said, "Who's Darren Star?" Quoth Baird: "He's some HBO producer." Baird gave up this info because he was pissed at married couple George Rush and Joanna Molloy for firing him. The Daily News offered Baird a $12,000 hush-hush buyout--and Baird refused it...presumably so he'd be at liberty to leak stories like this one. "I remember the week the Star thing went down. George and Joanna were going crazy on the story--not trying to report it, but trying to bury it." And they did...until now.
From: Philadelphia City Paper 2-7-97
"PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A NOT-VERY-WELL-HUNG MAN"
By Frank Lewis
Filmmaker, musician and one-time Texas gubernatorial candidate Joe Christ is the subject of an ongoing ezine series that contends, among other things, that Christ is the anonymous schwantz-less star of his own 1995 documentary, Sex Blood and Mutilation.
'Christ prankishly maintains that the penis missing from Sex Blood and Mutilation belongs to some other guy--purportedly a respected businessman leading a secret life as a post-penectomic personality,' writes series author Mark Kramer in 'Rebel Without A Dick', the first installment of 'Dickless in Babylon: The Joe Christ Story.' The entire epic--15 chapters and counting--appears in Body Modification Ezine, http://www.bme. freeq.com. (The headlines alone are worth a look: 'And The Gland Played On', 'Pud Simple', 'Urethra On The Bus Or Off The bus'; you get the idea. But be warned: part two, 'Uro-Trash', features a large color photo you may not want to see.)
Kramer, a New York-based arts writer, has been following Christ's career for years. About three years ago, he wrote an article on Christ for New York Press that included 'an oblique mention of the penis thing.'
'And astonishingly', says Kramer, '[in 1995] he makes this movie with a guy with no penis.' His face is not shown, and the voice is altered. Kramer says one of Christ's ex-girlfriends--Stacey Meador--and another independent source confirmed his suspicion that Christ is the memberless man. (The 1987 amputation was performed in Dallas’s Parkland Hospital emergency room, Kramer says, after a cock ring was left on way too long.)
Christ, a Philadelphia native who appeared Friday at The A-Space in West Philly, denies Kramer's charge. In various newsgroup postings, Christ has made light of Kramer's assertions, and described him as a 'tabloid journalist'--an apparent reference to Kramer's 1990 work for The Weekly World News. (Kramer points out that he's also written for the decidedly more highbrow Spy).
In a description of Sex Blood and Mutilation on his website (http://www.taoweb.com/666/joec/), Christ says only that he likes to call the misguided lad 'Les Johnson'. Kramer says he and Body Modification Ezine's publisher, Shannon Larratt, told Christ they would kill the series immediately if he would show them the goods, so to speak. He declined.
Kramer says his interest in Christ and his work are part of a larger mission. 'I am trying to decode the quasi-religions that have arisen in the wake of the Grateful Dead', he explains. Satirical movements never meant to be taken seriously, like The Church of The SubGenius--which Kramer says Christ was into--'have created a climate for things like Joe Christ['s work]--Hey, ain't murder fun? Ain't Charlie Manson cute?' He also feels that Christ's alleged loss has left him with a 'sexual rage' that explains the extreme violence and gore that defines his work. Notes Kramer, 'I know I'd be pissed off.'
Wicked Signs Kid Vegas
Wicked owner Steve Orenstein confirmed rumors this morning that his company has signed innovative filmmaker Kid Vegas to an exclusive contract. "We think Kid Vegas will be the next Martin Scorsese," slurred the drunk Jew at a newsconference that was carried live by KABC TV. "He will make a dozen films for us a year on budgets that will range from five to fifteen thousand dollars each. Edgy experimental gonzos like Cocksucking Skank Whores are exactly the new direction Wicked Pictures needs."
Meanwhile, KCBS TV reports that the reason Vivid, VCA and AVN mandate the use of condoms in their productions is that all their contract girls have AIDS.
Luke F-rd Sodomizes Shelle Pearson
Shelle Pearson writes: "Luke F-rd invited me to his home Tuesday night. He wanted to interview me about my views on the First Amendment and Obscenity. Just as I was explaining to him the implications of the Supreme Court's 1973 Miller ruling, he stood up, walked over to my chair, pulled out his cock and jammed his throbbing manmeat down my protesting gullet. When tears came to my eyes, he pushed me onto my knees next to a pile of AVN magazines, hiked up my skirt, pulled down my panties, and forcefully sodomized me. It's the deepest darkest chapter in my sexual diary. I have never felt so humiliated. Luke F-rd is a pervert. He only writes about porn so that he can f--- the girls. He's also done this trick to Kendra Jade and Julia Ann. Luke respects neither the First Amendment nor my feelings."
A 2PM update from Shelle: hi , luke it shelle....your lover.well at least that is what you told me on tuesday night when we went out. LUKE ~ how dare you say i am the only one.i saw those emails from "nicejewish girl". and i thought to myself "if she only knew what i knew..." so here goes... Tuesday night luke , luke took me out.What a cheap motherf---er.
He brought me to Mcdonald's..though i would have much rather went to grab us some filet mignon.Anyhow, when i sked for wine,he had the NERVE to buy me Boone's farm .I was horrified.he then offers to buy me mad dog 20/20 because, as he explained to me "this is how i always get my bitches horny, you will f--- me right?" i replied "NO , LUKE, IM NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL" so you know what mr.ford does??? he throws the mad dog at me and tells me to find my own ride home. this really excited me, this sudden passionate violence. i was really turned on , and so i just said to luke...well if youre going to be like that...im going to f--- Mike Albo.
Luke was not happy with this, so he got out his trustee little kink box. Luke rummaged around in this box, and what a wonderful world he introduced me to. I was absolutely amazed when he pulled out Guido, his blow-up sheep.I asked about the name, and he replied "i am striving to be more like rob spallone.i envy him and so i chose a nice italian name,to bestow upon my best friend." then he begins kissing the sheep tenderly, caressing its underside and moaning gently. I popped that f---ing sheep.No man of mine will be kissing something furrier than ron jeremy.
So next he pulls out a vibrator, one of those jelly cocks.i asked "has it been used before?" "only once, when i had that threeway with john bowen and his life-partner, martin" I threw that f---ing thing FAR AWAY., in the ocean...bet luke didnt tell you along with his other posh residences, he owns one in malibu...the vibrator ended up sleeping with the fish.
So i decide that luke is nothing more than a mere amatuer...i grab him by his hair and force him to his knees..."now You lick my feet , motherf---er" I screamed "yes, mistress" luke panted. i took him in to our special love nest....The bondage room. Luke was hog tied .The phone rang.I ran to answer it.It was one of lukey's little informants. "are you the one who has been telling luke all about my best friend, miss kendra Jade?" i asked. "no, i'm the one who tells him everything else" responded aries, the secretary for cream. "you CUNT .." i said "im not wasting my time talking to you, you f---ing cumbucket" and with that, i hung up the phone and rushed back to my eager lover. I beat him , kicked him , ripped his hair out, then strapped on my john holmes realistic cock and f---ed his ass so hard, he screamed in excstacy. when the night was all over and done, luke demanded i pay him back for dinner so he could afford to buy me the engagement ring. he said he loved me and wanted me to bear his spawn.i agreed. the wedding is set for next week in vegas. please r.s.v.p. shelle pearson ford
Jim Gunn writes: "Luke, do you really think that you're doing God's work with all this bulls--- you're writing on your site lately? I mean, really, does all that made up nonsense serve a purpose? I admit it's kinda funny sometimes- but only sometimes. You've devolved (not evolved) to a policy of outright insulting people- and undeserved in many cases. The outrageous satire is sometimes a good read but it is presented mixed in with the straight news. Don't you think this might confuse some casual readers? Even I have to do a double take sometimes when I read the site. I'd rather see you get back to the scoops and do less of the taunting of the industry powers to try to piss them off."
Jazzhermit writes: "Luke: You're becoming an idiot. I have read your column for some time as I am interested in the industry (and slightly involved in it, doing video reviews) but live on the East Coast and consequently miss out on a lot of the more daytime-drama aspects. Lately you have devolved from coherent and relatively informative coverage, almost granting this vilified industry a modicum of dignity, into a ridiculous spiral of lame jokes and snippy comments directed at rivals? Enemies? Ex-business partners? What? I don't understand your campaign against the AVN crew. You're not Nixon, Luke, you're an Internet columnist. Relax a little. I haven't read your book yet, but I hope it's more entertaining and informative than your current spewings, which range from disappointing to embarrassing. I will continue to watch your space, in the hope that others who agree with me may cause you to reverse your current course, and go back to providing something worth reading."
Luke: "My homeopathic doctor has taken me off all medication. I guess I really don't need Nardil after all. Nor therapy. I'm quitting that too. So I can have more time to spend with people I love, like you."
Thank God For Porno
Ivan Karnes writes: Luke: I was at the Adult Video News awards in the winter of 1995! Met a LOT of Adult Entertainers. If you are interested I have some memories scanned! I have made friends with some Adult Entertainers. I had the most unfortunate accident on January 12, 1996! I was careless when I was bicycling to work that morning. An ASTROVAN failed to notice me! I failed to pay attention to my surrounds that morning. And I was a 'hood ornament' for the ASTROVAN! Luke my body was carried 53 feet! From the impact, my body flew 7 feet in the air! I spent 9 days in St. Francis Hospital in a comatose state! I revived in Hilcrest Hospital! It has been 3 years since my unfortunate accident. I'm making a much more rapid recovery than was expected!
It is a pity that I may never get to contact some of the Adult Entertainers I met during that cold winter in 1995! The year I was ran over Jordan St. James bowed out of the Carnal Cinema. And in 1997 Isis Nile left! She was very kind to me! Luke, I've got to be one of the most hardworking people at the Gym at the Center for the Physically Limited! Every trainer there is proud of me for my efforts! I am proud of myself today! Taylor Wane is a friend. So a lot of other Adult Film Stars! I am grateful for that! Luke, even feminist writer Susie Bright is aware of my tragedy! (I am a huge fan!) I kind of pride myself on being the first to inform Taylor Wane of the Adult Bookstores in Tulsa,OK being raided!
I guess there is no way possible for me to speak with Isis Nile nor Jordan St. James ever again. That is most unfortunate. I have to thank my Higher Power for sparing my life. I wanted to tell these ladies that I did a little acting before my accident. Not exactly an Adult Film. But it was damn close!
An Independent Movie was being filmed in Inola,OK entitled CENTRAL STANDARD TIME. I did a very brief cameo in that movie. I was in the 'party scene' in the movie. I'd like to think that God was revealing what was behind another door for me. I wanted to tell these ladies how I've used my Internet Access wisely! I have Susie Bright's email address. And several other Adult Entertainers!
I have spoken with Margo St. James a few times. She is of COYOTE. The organization for legalizing prostitution. I have heard from Taylor Wane, Nici Sterling, Kim Chambers, Rebecca Lord, Tyffany Million, Ona Zee, Alexandra Quinn, and just recently Tiffany Minx! I would like to be a friend rather than a fan! I don't have the funds to join some damn fan club! Being on disability is no picnic! Never the less, I'm making the best of things. I am grateful for the friends I have made within the Adult Industry!
Email: i stumbled onto your web site tonight, and i am completely fascinated by it. Your autobiographical entries are some of the most compelling stuff i've yet read on the internet. this is the kind of thing i just love about this cyberworld we now inhabit; people can write precisely what they want without some less intelligent editor type cleaning up things beyond recognition. count me among your fans. a lot of the things you wrote about your struggles fitting into any group apply to me as well.
i too moved to L.A. with the hope of finding a place where my strange ways would be more tolerated, only to find that this is just as oppressive and intolerant place as the state of Massachusetts and my family that i fled. i've been labeled all kinds of things by all kinds of ignorant people, none of whom even begin to understand me. all i want to do is meet some wonderful woman who can cope with my outspoken ways and wants to raise freethinking kids.
also born in 1966, i came here in 1993 to pursue my dreams of working in film... i suffered a lot of indignity in the process but held on with the promise of an eventual promotion dangled in front of me. once my work was done on that movie i was laid off because i just didn't fit in with the dishonest jackals that have overtaken that studio. my hope is to write the same kind of book about animation that you've written about the world of pornography. your words have inspired me, and i thank you for that! i'm being very careful about spending money right now, but once i find another job i plan on buying a copy of your book from you.