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Willey Says Ross Was 'Very Forceful'

ALEXANDRIA, Va. (May 4) - Former AVN volunteer Kathleen Willey testified today that AVN VP Gene Ross was ''very forceful'' in an unwanted sexual advance near Gene's Oral Office in 1993.

''His hands were all over me,'' Mrs. Willey said, testifying for the prosecution in the trial of her former friend, Julie Hiatt Steele.

Recounting her version of an incident she first described to the nation in an interview on ''60 Minutes,'' Mrs. Willey, in a soft but unwavering voice, said she told the vice-president she desperately needed a paid job at AVN because of her family's financial difficulties.

Ross then took her to a galley near the oval office and made his advance, she said.

Mrs. Willey said Mean Gene backed her against a wall and ''tried to kiss me. He was very forceful. His hands were all over me.''

Ross has denied Mrs. Willey's allegation under oath.

Mrs. Willey said Gene kissed her on the mouth, touched her breasts, and put his hands up her dress.

Operation Helping Hand

Email: I'm currently a soldier in Bosnia. I had an idea last night and you are the man to help me.What about organizing adult stars (in a big media campaign/press conference shindig) in something like OPERATION HELPING HAND... Porn Across the Sea.

Let's get the adult film industry to donate tapes to soldiers serving in Bosnia! We always get companies donating s--- like cookies or sunscreen, but we never get anything we REALLY want, like beer, cigarettes, or skin magazines or videos...

Can you imagine the press that this could generate? Oh my god, the Army alone would go crazy, literally f---ing crazy.

We all have access to buy TVs and VCRs over here, and I think several hundred adult videos or even a few thousand spread around the many base camps in Bosnia would be out-f---ing-standing for morale here... And there's the increasing mission in Albania, Macedonia, Hungary, etc.

I am trusting you with my idea because I think you are an ethical man. (heh heh heh). But seriously, I think this would generate an enormous amount of publicity for the industry. Porn Journalist Luke F-rd Helps Our Boys Overseas, or whatever...

Luke's found out that video companies and porn star fan clubs have been innundated by requests for freebies from servicemen in Bosnia.

Metro Improves under Greg Alves

Metro shooter Quasarman Greg Alves writes on RAME: "I recommend any of the "Backseat Driver" series or "f--- you, Asswhores" series if you're looking for pure filth with no dialogue to get in the way. "Air Tight" is an all d.p series. We are up to volume 5. Again, no dialogue to get in the way. Also, "Stop, my ass is on fire". These are all shot on digital video. If you actually want a story to go with your sex might I recommend anything by James Avalon. Red Vibe Diaries 1 and 2. Carnal Instincts. Blue Dahlia. Trial by Copulation. These are all high end films not videos. There are no more titles with bad lighting, awful sound and tepid sex. The standard is much higher at Metro now under General Manager Greg Alves than it has ever been."

Dithering Back on RAME

Dithering writes to critic Pat Riley on the newsgroup rec.arts.movies.erotica:

I recently stumbled upon a block of unaccounted-for and unbothered free
time. And I inexplicably did, like Double-Wide-Voyager does, and other
just-like-me-insatiable immature males do: I went looking for naked
pictures of pretty women on the internet.

I encountered a web-site called www.alsscans.com (or www.alsscan.com)
featuring non-tattoed (mostly), non-pierced, natural-breasted women who
are often stunning in their natural, slender, low body-fat beauty. Forgive me if I am a latecomer to this website. I also found the counterpart Usenet newsgroups to this for-pay website, often featuring these beauties in Suze Randell hardcore scences.

How many of these women have hardcore movies circulating? It seems the
dark-haired, dark-eyed Czech beauty named Monica is one. So is one
named Wendy (Avalon). As is Paula (Kelly Havel).

Do you know which of these ALS females have graduated into adult films,
and their names (ALS names and adult-film names)? Some of these untattoed women are truly worth following, in an adult-film sense, unlike the the majority of tattoed, pierced slatterns with cement-filled breasts who choose the for-pay, on-camera profession.
--
Dithering

PS Voyager needs his bald-spot kissed. Are you up for it Riley?
Torris will film the event, I'm sure.

And is this post considered off-topic to the only-people-supporting-
homosexuals-can-post-here crew. Just wondering Evanson and Knapp.

Luke's Mom Writes:

When are you going to get membershiped so the general public, particularly kids can't get into your website? Most porn sites, you can only get a few pictures to whet the appetite before you have to pay. On your website, you can go into anything for as long as you like. So in a sense, your page is worse. Luke, with your purported sense of ethics, you should think about kids getting on line and reading it all. I can't believe what you've got on there, and how you can rationalize it to yourself. And be so judgmental of the others. You seem to think that quoting it makes you guiltless compared
to the perpetrators.

Harley Fire Interviews Lois Ayres

Harley's Sex Lounge interviews Lois Ayres Thursday for her first interview in years. She appears in a new video for Midnight. She plans her own line and web site. Lois has spent most of the last few years stripping in Japan. "For the last few years, Lois Ayres has been doing outcall/incall (You could see her ad every week in the LA Express) and stripping at Sam's Hof Brau in downtown Los Angeles." www.talkingblue.com.

Lene Hefner's Little Sister Trish Writes Luke

1) You [Luke] need a new hobby!
2) I am Jill Hefner (Lene' Hefner's) little sister. Our family is not that strict, we just don't like "whores for cash"..which is all she is...
3) She wasn't "disowned"...she made up horrible, vicious lies about my dad, while she was "coked up"....When I couldn't live with the lie...I told....she recanted...
4) My little neice (13 now) has no mommy!
5) If you have her current email, please forward...

Jill, I am so embarrased! There are 1600 "searches" for your name...How
can you love your pathetic self? AND-STOP using "Savannah's" suicide, as
a way to "sound cool".

That little girl, had a MUCH better chance...before she met you!

A VIRGIN, AT 20???????HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

You must have forgot, telling me all, after your dates...Remember...they
wipe it, in your hair? What the HELL happened to you? You look like a
freak, by the way!

You are SUCH a fraud! Mom and Dad are getting old....make ammends,
before it is too late!

Luke, you are a SAD case, man. After reviewing Savannah's bio., I must say, she sounds like more my type! My sister, Lene' let me "rifle through", her makeup bag, old clothes, anything! She WAS NOT her friend! Let the poor chick OUT now! She killed herself to escape poeple like my sis...EVIL POEPLE!!!! Weird guys like you, that keep up a "fricken'" memorial! Like the girl said, "get a f---ing life, and put your fingers, to some real use!!!! Damn Man! You ppl are SAD!!!!!!

It [Savannah bio] sucks Luke!!! To go on and on, about what a great f--- she was reported to be. And the letters from her dad? TOO f---ING MUCH!!! Oh and I love the "fan" that says porn ppl need our prayers and support.....THAt WAS THE BEST!

I last talked to her, when Mark [Carriere?] sent me to Utah and paid for my breasts('95)...When I realized the Bitch was trying to "rope me in", or
something.. I split! Plus, she was all drugged, on somethin'?! Not the weed, I was smokin', that is for sure!

Yes...I hate porn! I am a 31 yr. old mother, of a girl! I think it degrades "us", and makes it SUCK, for women, everywhere! I would NOT hate it this much, did my sister not continue to break my heart, by not "snapping the f--- out of it!"

They say she married a man...goodluck!!! P>S> California?

You have to admit, I gotta think you're desperate and ugly, to do this sort of thing!!!!

Now a question for you.....Can ya "get off", with a plain-old gal? OR do the super-evil "I'll take it in any hole" super-slut whores...plague your mind?....ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN???? Pick up your bible, man..time is
ending soon.

I'd like to add an entry (of course as her little sis, from the family that supposedly "disowned her".) Just let me know... I read at her house once, an article that said my dad was a southern baptist preacher! Newsflash: He's a plumber, too!

Luke! You little f---er!!!! Just got a message from my mom, that she is "threatening my family"...TELL THE BITCH FOR ME!!!!!!

Her story IS going public, but it won't be on your website, sweetie! And, also tell her I will personally kick her cellulite-ass, if she f---s with my parents, anymore! OR, my little brothers, will! That bitch! Don't ya'll go to bed? Stop talking to porno. ppl LUKE! READ YOUR BIBLE!

Plz fwd Luke.....Why you calling mommy? Thought you didn't have a family?! Stay out of mine, bitch! Unless, you're ready to come clean!
Good will ALWAYS prevail over evil!

We both have these emails documented....If anything happens to any members of The Hefner Family, I will hold you, personally responsible.
The bitch is on one of her many rampages.......GOD SAVE US ALL!

Savannah and T. say "LUKE_YOU ARE THE BIGGEST LOSER! LET GO!" "GET A LIFE! YOU PATHETIC PUKE!" P.S. LENE" SAYS YOU ARE INDEED< UGLY AND FAT>>>NOT TO MENTION, "YOU REALLY BITE, IN BED!" FFFFRRRREEEEEAAAAKKKKKKK!!!

P.S.Clean up the "jizz!"

Luke!!!! Please post this, and erase it....My parents are in deep pain.

Help me understand, please! Why I have a porno. customers "complaints
about some ho's fan club"? (in MY mail?)....Have you posted my comments,
somewhere, or what? Please clue me in, Luke. Then, please remove them
promptly. Need I remind you, I have a 3 yr. old daughter?

I don't need any "porno fans", deciding to look for me! I made a mistake, by writing to you! I admit, I am naive, to the "ways of the web!" What's going on? My mom is very upset, this will probably kill her.......

Luke, call off the dogs! Luke, This will be my last email, hopefully! My mom is hysterical...said Lene', is going to try to, "take my child away".....I did NOT put Mark's last name?! Mr. Carrier happens to be from, 10 minutes, where I live now! So, no one will be showing up? Not SO sure! I'm very serious! I know how these poeple "do business".....Keep this stuff, in case I end up "dead". You might be able to "sell the sad scoop", to "HardCopy", or something!

Also, REAL sorry I represented "christianity", in such a "hypocritical"
fashion. Guess the Lord, would not like me, talking like a sailor!

I was supposed to move in 2 days...Now, because of my mother's insults,
and condemnation, for my mistake! Looks like I'll have to be, "re-thinking" my decision!

Well, I know my child and I, will be o.k. Even if I end up making 7$ an
hour, somewhere. At least, I know I'll never have to "bend over for a
buck". CYA!

Floyd writes: I find your site interesting although I really am not much interested in the sex lives of John Bone, Gene Ross, etc. It is the porn movie business and one virtually expects the behavior you describe to exist at Warner Bros. I suspect the truth about VCA, Vivid etc. is probably tamer
than many would think anyway.

I did read with great interest the communication with Lene Hefner's sister. I have met various porn stars over the years; two in particular, Veronica Hart and Lene Hefner, left the warmest impressions, meaning they seemed genuinely pleased and happy to meet with and talk with someone interested enough to come and meet with them. They are actresses and I guess one could say it was just being polite with the customers; however, these two people were noticeably warmer and friendlier than other name performers (Chasey, Janine, Jena, etc.) who also were being nice to the customers. I don't know the problems in Lene's family but I do hope they can come to some accomodation.

In general I do prefer the more natural look but certainly I consider Lene something of an exception to the "normal" (if there is such a thing) Hollywood big boobed blonde. Among more recent performers Vanessa Chase I believe was the most memorable and I do miss her and trust her new life, wherever that may be and there are you know, rumors of Brazil, will prove satisfying and successful.

Answers From Vivid

JSmith writes on RAME: I just had a very interesting telephone conversation with a representative of Vivid Video's editing departement. Basically, he confirmed our theory on time cutting to conserve tape and money. He also informed me that full length versions are still available even now. However, you have to request this from the mail order company in advance. It is cheaper for Vivid to edit down the running time to pack the movie on to a shorter tape, so more edited copies get distributed unless the customer specifically requests that the tape is not altered. I remember reading somewhere that Video Age advertises some of their movies as "uncensored". These are the tapes you want to get if the editing bothers you. However, the representative assured me that most people "don't kow the difference, so we ship the edited copy...". Personally, I'm satisfied. I'll just be sure to order the "uncensored" tapes in the future. However, if you feel like voicing a complaint, Vivid's editing department can be reached toll free at1-800-423-4227.

Sylvia Saint Profile By Clifford Cremer

She's just 23 years old, but this incredible blonde from the Czech Republic is already one of the hottest pornstars in Europe. Starting out with Brit director Frank Thring, Silvia was soon discovered by Private. She's made several films for Private, the most notable being the new 'Uranus Experiment'. Silvia, who was Penthouse Pet in almost all international editions of the magazine, including the US version, appears also in many sex-magazines throughout Europe.

Silvia Saint was born on februar12th,1976, in Kyjov (Czech Republic). She now lives in a big appartment in Brno, the Czech Republics second biggest city. Currently she has no boyfriend. In her spare time, Silvia likes to walk or cycle through the countryside, where she often stays with her grandmother.

Silvia, please tell us a bit about your background.

"After school, I studied management for two years at an institute in Brno. After that I was employed as manager in one of the biggest hotels in the city of Zlin. From there I moved into a private firm where I was responsible for accountancy and marketing. The job was hard though, and I didn't make a lot of money. That's why I accepted a proposal to do modeling. I started doing underwear shows and then came proposals for soft nude pictures. I tried it and I liked it. "

How did you get involved in the porn industry?

"My then-boyfriend took me to a casting for an American porn production.
From all the girls present I was the only one .who was selected. They gave me a few days to think about it, and finally I said yes. "

What was your first film?

"It was directed by Frank Thring, and believ it was called 'Lee Nover:
Search for the perfect breasts'. I did one scene there with Czech actor
Robert Rosenberg."

You kept on modelling for magazines at the same time?

"Yeah, I did lots of it. Mostly soft single or couple photo's. I was Penthouse Pet of the year 1996 in the Czech Penthouse. And I was competing for that in the US edition as well, in 1998 . I did many photo's for Czech magazines like Fontana, Leo."

Do you have a boyfriend?

"No. I had one before - he was also in this business but he was not happy that I did this job. That's why we split. But we're still good friends."

What's the best movie you made so far, you think?

"That would be the Uranus Experiment, for Private It was a really interesting job to do, with a great team, lots of fun, nice scenes and of course zero gravity sex."

Do you have any favourite actors to work with?

"Not really, no. I like to work with professionals only in the first place. They know what to do and how to do it, they're 100% clean and are careful and tender. I liked working with guys like Philippe Dean and Andrew Youngman. With women I liked to work with my good friend Dolores
Nero, American Missy or Dutch Helen Duval."

What about Rocco?

"I only worked with Rocco once. That was with 'Rocco and Miss Erotica in
Prague'. We did 4 scenes only, and he cut them into other films. What I remember is that we did a scene in a limousine. Rocco became very wild, because he liked working with me. I saw him a couple of weeks ago and he was proposing to me a role in one of his new film, in september. "

Are you bisexual?

"No, Im 100% hetero. But I don't object against having sex with other
women. "

What do you like best: filming in Europe or the States?

"I prefer working in the States. Because in the USA they do not shoot hard sex like in Europe. They just do a couple of sex scenes and at maximum you do anal. That's it. And they're much faster than the Europeans. A scene in LA usually takes up to four hours. In Europe sometimes one scene takes 20 hours. "

Why are there so many Czech girls in adult films?

"I don't know. In any case I'm sure their number is much smaller that Hungarian girls. It's fine with me, as long as the girls are beautiful, know their price, know what they do and do it professionaly. "

Are your well-known in your country?

"I know that some people do know me, they saw my pictures in a magazine
or they watched my movies. Some of them like me and support me, others
hate me for doing porn and making big money. I guess they're just
jealous. "

How long do you want to continue in this biz?

"Probably for another 4 to 5 years, I don't know really. It depends on
who wants to work with me. But I would like to do more soft photos, that
suits me the best."

40 Ways Women Fail in Bed

A widely circulated email

1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail
and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the penis as if
it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is
a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be worshipped and held tenderly
at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be),
not two-thirds of the way down.

2. LETHAL WEAPONS: A guy's scrotum is a wondrous aesthetic achievement of nature to be treated gently. Don't squeeze the balls like you are squeezing water from a sponge. If you have long nails pull them off with
pliers before even looking at a guy's ball bag.

3. ROBOTS: When sucking a guy's dick don't just get on the end of the
thing and jam your head back and forward. It's a beautiful instrument; it
should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every angle.

4. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be arsed to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some sort of sign to inform the guy that he's done his duty and can blow his biscuits whenever he wants. A finger up his arse should do the trick.

5. PHONE TURN-Off: Don't put your mobile phone next to the bed and say: "I'm just waiting for a call from my hairdresser to confirm an appointment but we can carry on in the meantime." Ringing bells might have turned Quasimodo on but not your average stud with 10 pints of lager inside him.

6. NO LAUGHING MATTER: Don't laugh if your creative male lover gets
carried away and says things like "Ride my hard cock you filthy cock-sucking slut" or "I want to rinse your mouth with my fresh, white love juice." Laughter at any aspect of the male performance will not enhance it. Just be grateful you've got a guy who can speak whole sentences.
7. CLOSING UP: If a man is willing to take the trouble to come on your
face, don't close your eyes. He wants you to share this ecstatic moment of
joyful union with him. Semen is not likely to cause permanent blindness in
most cases - but this is a risk you should be prepared to take for his happiness.
8. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don't wait to be
asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it.
9. HANGING AROUND: When he is done, you should not kiss and cuddle, he does not want to touch you. You should leave the bed and leave him in peace. If you are a one-night stand you should leave the premises with out thieving anything or asking for a phone number.
10. BEING SHY: Always offer the Hershey Highway. You know you love it. If you don't like it that much, still offer it as you can quite easily play
with yourself as he rams away.
11. BEING A DRIP: You always have tissues in your bag, use them to clean his sheets and any ball bag drippage if you have misbehaved and not
swallowed everything.
12. LACK OF MAINTENANCE: Never ask a man if he likes your body as you will force him to lie. Men don't like fat chicks. Get in the gym and lose some weight and tighten those buns and thighs. There is no such thing as the perfect body. 99.6 per cent of men say that even Christy, Elle, Naomi et al could still lose a few pounds - so what chance have you got?
13. CLOCK-WATCHING: Never, ever, ever, ever even think of saying: "Are you going to come soon." If you're doing a blowie, you'd have to take your mouth off to utter the question. If you're giving a hand-job, you should
have gone to the gym to work your biceps. If he's shagging you and takes
more than 10 minutes you should be grateful. This is not a time trial but a
blissful act of union between two sexually aware and gifted human beings.
14. FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS: Don't ask him if you're the best lover he's ever had. Most men have had so many sexual partners that it is unlikely that you are. Please don't ask a man to lie about such an important thing.
15. PLAYING DEAD: Don't just lie there, do something. Good sex is not
a spectator sport and it helps if both parties move around a bit. I know you
expect the men to do all the hard and skillful work. We don't mind that and
we're blessed with the equipment and know-how to do it but at least put some effort into the act to show your appreciation.
16. BEING POSSESSIVE: If you are lucky to have an imaginative lover who can satisfy two women at a time don't sneer at or reject his exciting
suggestion that one of your friends joins you to make up a threesome. If
he's a real man he's probably shagging her anyway. Plus you might learn
something from her to keep your man really happy.
17. NOT KEEPING YOUR HAIR ON: Don't shave all your pubic hair off. It makes your pussy look like a piece of poultry past its sell-by date. At
best, it looks like the snatch of a ten-year-old. If you want to trim, go for a nice sexy racing stripe in the manner favoured by the Playboy models that your man would rather be shagging.
18. SPITTING IT OUT: When a man has gone to so much trouble to ejaculate and get his aim right into your mouth, it is rude to spit it out without
savouring the taste and gluey texture. You should play with semen like a
block of Hubba Bubba, blowing bubbles, chewing and throwing from side to side. A line like "I love it when you come in my mouth" makes for a happy
finale to fun and games.
19. INGRATITUDE: Never forget to thank a man for all the effort and
energy he has expended on making love to you - especially if:
a) sex has lasted more than five minutes and/or
b) you managed to achieve an orgasm.
A man' s role in sex is far more demanding than a woman's so it is always
nice when one's prowess is appreciated.
20. SEEKING FAVOURS: Never contemplate taking advantage of your man's warm after-sex glow to seek favours or make requests. As he drops off into well-deserved slumber, resist the urge to ask : "Do you think I should buy that dress/skirt/sofa/Mercedes/country cottage?" there is a name for the practice of mixing sex with material gain - prostitution.
21. BED-RIDDEN: Too many women fail in bed because they insist on being IN BED. Very few countries have statutes limiting horseplay to a  designated room. Let yourself go with some sex in the study, bonking in the bathroom and kinkiness in the kitchen. If you're lucky, your man might imagine he's bonking someone sexy and adventurous and he might manage a larger, harder erection.
22. SHARING NOT CARING: Whilst it is understandable that you would be excited after receiving a mouthful of cum, do not be thoughtless in
expressing your gratitude by kissing your man on the lips. YOU like semen, HE doesn't. Be considerate, please.
23. BEING NAKED: Very few female bodies are good to look it so please
make an effort to cover up as much as possible with exotic lingerie. Match
the outfit to suit your bod. If you've got a half-decent arse but no tits for example, wear stockings and suspenders and cover your meagre mammaries with something silky.
24. TOO BRIGHT: If the man switches the light off, it is for a reason,
so please don't insist on seeing what's going on. If he's got a bit of a
beer belly or a lovebite from a bonk earlier that day, it is his right to
keep such matters to himself. If he wants it dark so he can imagine he's
shafting Natalie Imbruglia, please understand this fascinating aspect of
the male psyche.
25. PLAYING THE NAME GAME (1) Never embarrass a gentleman by challenging him to remember your name after he's shagged you. If he thought it was important to remember your name, he would have.
26. PLAYING THE NAME GAME (2): Don't be angry if you're lover shouts out another woman's name during the sexual act. Men have much more complicated lives than women and deal with many more people at work, football club, gym, pub, etc. It's probably just a close associate and totally innocent. Of course, he might be shagging someone else in his spare time and it is understandable that he should make such an obvious mistake.
27. KEEPING HIM WAITING: Don't get him all turned on and the let his
proud stiffy whither while you go to the bathroom and tone and moisturise
every square centimetre of your body. The male erection can be sensitive
to 45-minute delays while you go off to make yourself look presentable.
If you must follow a strict beauty regime, do it after he's shot his load
and has started to snore.
28. TOOTHACHE: When we ask you to eat our cock, this should not be
taken literally. I know it's hard to resist but keep the tooth action to a little nibble now and again.
29. YOU CAN'T HURRY, LOVE: If a woman is serious about good oral sex as part of foreplay, 20 minutes is the bare minimum required to give the
subtle and complex penis a reasonable working over. Better allow for 45
minutes at least.
30. TWO DIMENSIONAL: It's not enough to be a specialist - even in the
important skill of fellatio. To be regarded as a successful woman in bed, you
must have a full portfolio of tricks. These should include a penchant for facial glazing and a familiarity with idiosyncrasies of your man's anal region.
31. CAMERA SHY: If he wants to capture the beauty that is you during
those special moments (so he can remember the bits he missed because he was drunk), help him by posing in a gorgeous, pouting way for the camera or video camera.
32. UNSWEET SMELL OF EXCESS: While men are more than happy to lick the pink clam, please give it a bit of a wash once or twice a week. You can have too much of a good thing.
33. OBSESSIVE: The female orgasm is over-rated so don't spoil everybody's fun by insisting on having one every time you have sex. Of
course, if you do have lots, you should feel free to announce them.
34. PERIOD PAIN (1) : It's natural for a woman to beg for a good seeing
to but please do not
a) pretend your period has finished or
b) that it hasn't even started. Just go without and let your man catch up with his fantasies about your friends, his young and pretty work colleagues and the girls he shagged before he met you.

35. PERIOD PAIN (2): Having said that (above), just because you're on
the blob, it doesn't mean his natural and healthy urges have gone away.
Don't put sex off limits for the duration of your period. Use this special
time together to work on your oral and massage techniques.
36. THE BIG SWITCH (OFF): Nothing is worse than giving a man some
encouragement and then not finishing the job. Such encouragement might be
the slightest brush against any part of his body. So if he's got a stiffy, you've got to deal with it and take things through to their natural conclusion.
37. WAKE-UP CALLER: Men have busy and demanding schedules so please understand if he should occasionally (say three times a week) fall asleep while on the job. You should take it as a compliment that he feels so
relaxed.
38. COVER UP: If you have lured a man to bed under the guise of being a
sultry temptress with long eyelashes and painted lips, please keep the
illusion going until he has discharged his porridge gun or fallen asleep.
If you care about him, you will make sure he never discovers the terrible
secret hidden beneath your caked-on make-up.
39. PUTTING A DAMPENER ON THE EVENING: Don't make a fuss about sleeping on the damp patch. If God wanted men to sleep on the messy remains of coitus, he would have given us a snatch.
40. TV SINNER: The only TV programmes suitable for accompanying good sex are hardcore porn (especially involving yourself) or a football match. No gardening or knitting programmes to be watched.

Porn Chat on irc.eskimo.com, port 6667, #pornchat

<l-keford> hey zoe, jas says stuff about you

<zoexxx> i read

<zoexxx> so why didn't you call and ask me about it

<l-keford> i don't have your number...and am very lazy...was jas speaking truth or fiction?

<zoexxx> i remember

<zoexxx> i'm not really supposed to talk to you cause people say you twist things is that true

<l-keford> zoe, i rarely twist things, but if you are not supposed to talk to me, then don't...

<l-keford> i have lots of other faults

<JustMrT> he's notorious for that . . .

<zoexxx> you tell me luke you know jas just as much as i do

<zoexxx> lol

<zoexxx> like what

<l-keford> lazy

<zoexxx> lol

<JustMrT> he's a habitual masturbator also

<l-keford> shhh

<zoexxx> so is all of this going on your site tomorrow

<zoexxx> :0)

<l-keford> some of it

<zoexxx> like?

<l-keford> anything juicy, unless the author of statements objects

<zoexxx> so you just print what people tell you truth or not?

<zoexxx> or do you try to find out the truth

<l-keford> both, i print what people tell me and eventually i find out th e truth

<l-keford> how come u were never dropped at my place for the day?

<VladTepes> "I speak four or five different languages. My memory always serves me correctly."

<zoexxx> haha funny

<zoexxx> you know the answer to that

<zoexxx> I'm not that type of girl

<tig> what did that wiley gene do today

<l-keford> :)

<zoexxx> so how did you become such a bad guy

<zoexxx> gene is on vacation

<JustMrT> he needed gainful employment

<zoexxx> lol

<l-keford> i'm running out the door to go to talmud study

<JustMrT> can't you get them to reschedule that, Luke? talk to the rabbi, for christsakes

<JustMrT> Luke is searching in vain for his "Judaism for Dummies" book

<JustMrT> actually, Luke, you should pitch that to that company ... I don't think they've published that title yet

<MikeSouth> I cant file my tax return till ya send it

<Porner> you must have filed an extension

<MikeSouth> actually I did

<MikeSouth> but I dint want to...I should get money back

<MikeSouth> yer holdin up progress.

<MikeSouth> should I put scoop on it heheheh :)

<Porner> well, okay then, you have until sept. 15th to file

<MikeSouth> just send me tha damn thing eh?

<MikeSouth> jeez

<Porner> lol

<MikeSouth> Is this a jewish thing :)

<MikeSouth> I mean I know the stereotype about ya'll

<MikeSouth> I wuz gonna call you today

<Porner> what, you don't like my big nose

<MikeSouth> but I am prepping for an interview I'm doing with the LA Times

<MikeSouth> so you better get with the program...or I'm gonna tell em its a tax dodge

<MikeSouth> :)

<MikeSouth> I like yer big wallet

<MikeSouth> SO QUIT SITTIN ON IT!

<MikeSouth> off my soapbox now ;)

<MikeSouth> LUKE!

<MikeSouth> you there?

<Porner> luke must be on the phone to mexico talking with all the conspiritors down there at the avn meeting

<MikeSouth> must be

<MikeSouth> Luke is gettin kinda bold these days

<MikeSouth> going after Gene balls to the wall

<Porner> you know what goes up must come down eventually

<Porner> he knows gene is fair game but ask him about paul

<MikeSouth> Matt would that be Gene or Luke going down?

<Porner> i think it is a tie between them who has the most sexual disturbances

<MikeSouth> I dont know Gene that well but Fish has always been nice to me

<MikeSouth> Gene is just harder to get to know I guess....I usually know whether someone likes me or not...I never could tell with Gene

<Porner> gene is a hard read

<MikeSouth> yes he is

<MikeSouth> but he may be going down...it appears Luke has his teeth in and aint gonna let go

<SellOut> Hi Luke F-rd

<`^-_-^`> He'll read you saying that sometime tomorrow.

<SellOut> Participate Dammit!

<MikeSouth> Luke you f---er

<MikeSouth> we want the scoop

<MikeSouth> we demand that you give it to us NOW!

<SellOut> Anyone have any good questions for M Chambers or G Lynn?

<MikeSouth> ya I do rog...why not quit while ya'll were ahead

<MikeSouth> lame assed comebacks suck

<`^-_-^`> yes, Ask Marilyn is she gets a senior citizens discount on Ivory Soap nowadays.

<unirrt> lol

<SellOut> Mike, you're just jealous cuz at 50 she's hotter than most of what is available now

<WarmProp> are you seeing these two in person rog?

<MikeSouth> they are both passable but given a choice theres about 50 girls I'd rather do

<MikeSouth> in the biz that is

<SellOut> Warm, I am working on doing them both at once

<DiGiorgio> [For gonzos] 12K cut...5 scenes...all anal...geez..i can't believe im so upfront about s---

<Porner> then why did you always chargeme 25k

<DiGiorgio> cuz i was doing features...two versions...more prod value..used an actual crew.. that sorta stuff...plus most of what i did was more like in the 20K range

<DiGiorgio> i wonder if it ever occured to luke that in a bizness of extreme greed, if anyone coulda fixed the prices, they woulda already done so

<gerald> even if gene ross is corrupt is it really a big deal?

<Porner> not to me it isnt ,gerald

<gerald> i mean if it's true i envy him :)

<gerald> i'd like to watch wwf all day write reviews and get blown

<Porner> jim, we can party as long as you bring the ganja

<DiGiorgio> geez...two enlightenments in onve evening: john boned lied...and corruption in jiz city dont matter