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Thursday, April 15, 1999

Sin City - Ross's Nude World Order

Gene Ross has dodged another bullet as key figures in his widening corruption scandal refuse to publicly testify against him. Discouraged, Luke may enter a convent.

From www.geneross.com: "In Luke F-rd's never ending attempts to be a moron, he puts on his site that Gene Ross was David Christopher's inspiration for Nude World Order, a wrestling movie. Maybe Ford or whoever came up with that brilliant piece of logic should contact Eric Bishoff of the WCW who's idea it was to create the New World Order. When Luke F-rd attempts to talk about subjects beyond his ken, he reveals his essential ignorane."

Doom writes on RAME: "This is truly shocking news. Carl Bernstein Ross is corrupt? He lacks integrity? I can't believe that a highly ethical and impartial publication like AVN has been compromised like this. I had believed AVN's only journalistic peer was the Formerly Gray Lady herself. This must indeed be a dark day for Ben Bradlee Fishbein.

"Judging by recent actions, it seemed like C.B. Ross had tired of the role of selfless pursuer of the truth behind the Wallice story. He was changing his gimmick to another major player in Watergate. Of course, I am speaking of Dick Nixon himself. D.N. Ross was engaging in oppo research of his enemies' list, and enemy number one was Scoop Luke.

"Perhaps Dick Nixon Ross can look to his role model for guidance in slipping out of these embarrassing charges. Does anyone know if Ross has a dog named Checkers?

"On an related note, recently D.N. Ross has succeeded in making a porn gossip site boring. Two-thirds of his current update is a Free Speech Coalition manifesto. Most riveting stuff." (RAME)

Luke hears from two sources that the Deep Throat referred to on Gene Ross's site is Bianca Trump. Trump denies this.

In late February, Luke received this email: "Remember that crummy movie (Nude World Order) Sin City did with David Christopher about professional female wrestlers? Sin City pumped lots of money both into the movie and into PR.

"The idea for Nude World Order came from Gene Ross and David Christopher. Ross either told Christopher that if the movie was produced, AVN would get behind it, i.e., free publicity, awards, etc., or Christopher simply decided to tell potential producers that this was the case. Christopher shopped it around and in so doing, took it to Sin City. Sin City took the bait. They figured they had a guaranteed Editor's Choice, and a guaranteed hit because of the Gene Ross thing. They gave Christopher a large budget (by their standards for a video - not a film) of somewhere between $45k and $60k.

"AVN gave them almost no publicity beyond an on-the-set piece which is done for many movies, without any "we're behind this one" attached to it. Nude World Order won no AVN awards.

"A humorous anecdote: before shipping, the brain surgeons at Sin City decided to send out screener and slicks to buyers. They also bought these little toy magnetic wrestlers, and the screener and toy and slicks were put in some pretty expensive packaging. Well, if you know anyting about video tape, you might know that the media is recorded on the tape magnetically. If you want to remove media from a tape, you degauss it, i.e., use a magnet to remove the media. Hehehehehe...you figure it out. They erased the tapes.

"The whole thing was a disaster as neither Gene Ross delivered the goods in terms of AVN getting behind it (as was thought), nor did Christopher make a half-way decent movie.

"By the way, for all those who figure that if a company spends a lot on advertising, AVN will consistently deliver outstanding reviews. Well, Sin City spends thousands on advertising, and their parent company, GVA takes a one page ad every month as well. Did you ever notice that Sin City's reviews are consistently, for the most part, mediocre? I think Sin City should get awards for the most three and a half star reviews of movies of any company. Maybe AVN doesn't play favorites, huh? Or maybe they simply don't like the sin city people (make that Mark Snyder or David Sturman)."

A source: "Gene Ross was there all day at the Reseda Country Club day. One out of three days. Even the article had a smarmy tone to it, like "gee Sin City might have a hit." He wrote the on-set piece, someone else wrote the sneak peek, Paul wrote the review.

"Gene really was the one who inspired David Christopher to write the script.

"Nude World Order got lots of publicity, not just from AVN."

Reuben Sturman's Secret Love Child Revealed

Last week Luke questioned what happened to Reuben Sturman's millions. This week Gene Ross revealed that Luke is a trust fund baby. Gene writes: "Why is Ford so afraid of this background "dossier" that leaked out? Forensic analysts are welcome to examine it because there's something in there that Ford is very much afraid of."

Inquiring minds have put the evidence together and concluded that Luke is Reuben's long lost love child. Ford maintains plush residences in West Los Angeles (Beverly Drive and La Cienega Blvd) as well as a mansion in Orlando, Floria. He's plotting a world zionist takeover.

States News: "Former Orlando Magic player Jerry Reynolds will NOT face criminal charges for starring in a pornographic movie with an underage actress. Prosecutors say the girl does not want to press charges and without her testimony, there's no way to prove who was on the videotape with Reynolds and how old she was. Investigators viewed raw footage from a series of low budget sex films and found several scenes featuring the former six-foot-eight inch forward."

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Acting Presidential and Professional

Our fearless leader FSC President Gloria Leonard flips Luke the bird in the middle of Senate Judiciary Committee.

Stinkfist: "Lisa De Leeuw supposedly died of AID's in '93, but I hear she faked her death to avoid problems with obsessed fans, and to completely escape her porn past and have a new identity. I hear she's quietly living in San Francisco in anonymity." (RAME)

The May/June issue of Gear magazine features an article on Viper by Mark Ebner, who had a run-in with Brandy Alexandre while researching the piece.

Brandy Alexandre writes on the newsgroup alt.cult-movies.erotica: "Thank you *so much* for letting me know. I was pretty much told that there wasn't really anything I could do for your illegal recording of our phone conversation unless you actually used it for something. I figured that was the end of that. If you ever used it I'd have a difficult time finding out  about it. But then you blast in here declaring that you have!

"I also noticed how it meant more to you to say that I was mentioned than to say what issue it is, who's on the cover, and other pertinent tidbits that real writers provide when asking people to look at his work. What's that say about you?"

Ebner replies: "Brandy, as you agreed to go on the record, you know damn well that my tape recording of our phone interview was on the up and up. (I did enjoy the debate you sparked in here though.) The reason why you threw a fit about my taping you was because you were embarrassed by things that you said about my subject -- Viper. In our taped conversation, you totally maligned her character (I'll send full transcript to anyone who requests it) then told me that she was "hooking in Baltimore." Then, for some strange reason not unlike the way you turn on people in this newsgroup, you went ballistic on me -- questioning my ethics in doing the piece and lamely trying to attack my credibility as a journalist. It was then that I pointed out that I was rather shocked hearing that from a woman who had just declared that the woman we were discussing was "hooking in Baltimore." You paused, then said that you were going to do anything you can to stop me from writing the article, blah-blah-blah... Then you harangued my editor who laughed his way through your voice mail message.  Brandy, before you try and contest any of this, remember that it's all on tape."

Peeping Tom 17 Sucks

Doom just saw Peeping Tom #17. "This video sucked. My recommendation is to avoid it. This vid is unfortunately all-condom.

"Peeping Tom is put out by the same people who do the Pick-Up Lines
series. It has the same (cold) feel as PUL, except they establish the camera man (and by extension, the viewer) is "spying" on the action. This added wrinkle does absolutely nothing for me.

"I got this video b/c it had both Kelly O'Rion and Amber Michaels, two
new porn starlets I like. If Scoop Luke is accurate, Kelly O'Rion has already blown out of porn after making a handful of vids. I also watched the Charlie scene.

"Charlie is featured here with Mr. Charlie, Version 2.0 (A/K/A Dante.)
Charlie looks less and less attractive to me the more I see her. Her breasts are still pretty saggy, even w/ implants. Her distended belly (from childbirth?) is another turn-off. Anyway, they turn in an O.K. scene including anal, though nothing even remotely approaching above average. A facial caps things off. I give this scene *3/4 stars (out of 5.)

"Next up was the Amber Michaels scene. She is paired with Brandon Irons (I think that's him.) In the establishing shot of Amber in the hot tub, the director zooms in for a such an extreme close-up of Amber's face, you can literally see her pores. This shot would have been pretty good for a dermatology school training tape, but is unsettling for a porn flick.

"After the standard trade-off of oral sex, they f--- in a couple of positions (no anal). Here, the director (Tom Stone) makes a bad and then a horrible decision. I should mention that Amber has *horrible* breast implants. Almost Leeanna Heart bad. They are far too big for her frame, have scarring on the underside, and ripple and buckle extensively. The bad decision was to shoot her in doggy-style sex. Her implants rippled and buckled pretty noticably. He should have stuck to mish or cowgirl or RC. The horrible decision was to follow up the doggy position by shooting her being f---ed in the piledriver position (head and shoulders on the ground, rest of body perpendicular to the ground.) I personally was sickened by seeing her implants' contortions in this position, and I'm not even a implant hater on principle. The scene ends with a decent facial. *

"Finally, the Kelly O'Rion scene. She is paired with Chris Cannon(?) Tom Stone pisses me off again, by going for a ridiculous extension of the cummerbund effect (TM-Riley.) She starts the scene wearing a black dress. Cannon removes the top of her dress low enough to expose the top 3/4 or so of Kelly's breasts. When he f---s her/eats her, he hikes up the bottom part enough to get the job done. I saw her in PUL 36, and she was totally naked, except for the bottom 1/4 of her breasts again (horrible scarring there, perhaps?) and I don't remember any disfigurement to her body that necessitated that level of cover-up. Pretty tepid scene including BJ, eating her out and fingering her, and a couple positions of straight sex (no anal.)
Scene ends with an average facial. 1/2*

"Avoid this one."

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Atlas Multimedia is starting a video division. Don Osterholt is partners with Melanie Stone's hubby Hunter. "Melanie and I are shooting our first movie in her new series "LIVE" on the Internet on the 8th of May," writes Hunter. "The new series is called "Melanie Stone and the Perv Boys Crazy Adventures." It's a combination of Misty Cam and a Randy West video. And at the end of each movie will be a new girl. Melanie's friend just came into town to appear. She's gorgeous. Looks like Cameron Diaz."

Don't Let Luke Hang on a Ross Cross

If you don't want the Scoop to die on a cross like JC to save mortals from sin, please send money. Luke turns 33 years of age on May 28.

Porners who wish good coverage should send hookers, BJs and CDs of classical music (Haydn, Mozart, Schubert) and Christian hymns (Abide With Me, Rock of Ages and Amazing Grace are favorites) to Luke the Scoop, 264 S. La Cienega Blvd, #1417, Beverly Hills, CA, 90211.

Scoopers now offers libel insurance for those porners who've tired of being defamed by me. Individuals with Ethics Rankings over three stars can get coverage for $250 a year, ($500 for those with ratings under three stars). Companies with ethics rankings over three stars can be covered for $1000 a year ($2000 a year for those with fewer than three stars).

Wanna improve your Ethics Ranking? It's only $100 a star. And all the money goes to my favorite charity.

Hush, can you hear the San Fernando Valley singing?

What A Friend We Have in Luke

Have you come to the garden alone,
And the voice you hear, coming on your ear...
And the sound of his voice is so sweet,
And the melody he gave to you...
And the joy we share, as we tarry here,
None other has ever know.

What a friend we have in the Scoop Man
All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
Everything to Luke in prayer

Oh what peace we often forfeit
Oh what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry,
Everything to Luke in prayer