Trinity Loren has passed away.
Mark Kulkis has left Extreme Associates to distribute videos for Hustler. Is this a sign that Extreme is in financial trouble (paying for all those AVN ads and contract players)?
I heard that Rob Black's dad and Rob's uncle Chuck Zane, with perhaps some help from North Eastern money, is floating the controversial company.
Rob Black called me this evening to tell me I'm full of it. Rob says Extreme sells their videos for no less than $13 each, and won't even deal with many distributors (including all of the General Video distributors except GVA West and GVA Chicago aka Capital News).
As most everyone knows, Rob hates his Uncle Chuck, which makes my gullible opening all the more ridiculous.
Rob: "My best friend Dave Pentycofe, who worked with me at my dad's bookstore in Rochester, came out here a few years ago and became the shippper at Elegant Angel. When Extreme began, Tommy and I did our own shipping. Dave stayed with Elegant. But Dave and I still hung out. And Dave took me to the third game of the World Series. So Pat Collins fired him. Wouldn't do it to his face. Had someone drive Dave home and tell him, 'you're fired because you took Rob to a ballgame and Rob is the enemy.'"
A porner: "Luke, no one cares about Jasmin St. Clair, Charley Frey, John Bone, Earl Slate, or the rest of the cast of characters in that little circle of pettiness. How much space are you going to waste recycling that story ad infinitum?
"How about you go after something more interesting? Maybe Extreme's financial status? Gene Ross's unwillingness to print any of the info Rob Spallone's given him?"
Rob Spallone's furious with AVN and Gene Ross for dicking around with him over the past five months over presenting his view of the porn biz, AIM and AIDS.
Sin City's Kris Kramski has made a documentary about the industry's talent agents (Jim South, Reb Sawitz, Regan Senter and Rob Spallone) "that will rock the porn world," says a S.C. source.
Micazzo@aol.com writes on the newsgroup rec.arts.movies.erotica:
The ONE good thing about Orgazmo is it may be one of the most sacreligious movies ever seen in an American mall, trashing the Mormons in particular but religious prudery in general.
The Bad thing is that these guys consented to an NC17 rating (evidently for language and subject matter) and had the services of Julie Ashton, Chaisy Lain, Davia Ardell, Melissa Hill, Jill Kelly, Bianca Trump and other fine Porn Divas and yet 75% of the nudity in the film is HAIRY MALE ASSES including but not limited to Ron Jeremy and a bunch of middle aged Mariachi musicians!
HELLO?!?!?!?!?!? DO NOT go see this to see your favorite stars in the nude at the multiplex unless your REALLY like the Hedgehog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The REALLY bad things are:
1) It's not that funny (in fact most of it is really, really stupid) and way too long.
2) If these guys are porn fans and still make a movie this rediculous that portrays pornographers as Mafioso woman haters then what hope do we have of convincing people otherwise????
3) Max Hardcore is given a speaking role.
4) Tim Lake (who is intelligent enough to be embarrased about this) is all through he movie as the Cinematographer but gets NO lines and hence no SAG card and less money.
Free Speech Coalition president Gloria Leonard writes: "I have twice in recent weeks, been a guest on a radio talk show out of Miami called "Teen Talk Live" (something like that). The most recent appearance was last Wednesday and I asked Fiero to join me, which she did. The teens are in the studio and also call in on the open phone lines. They pick the topics and I think it speaks to what Tabitha had to say about today's younger generation being the largest consumer group of porn.
"By the way, all the kids were sharp, asked good questions and were respectful, altho' there was one guy who cited statistics which came from some right-wing religious group, skewed to favor their own agenda. Many of the gen-x magazines - Pop Smear, Details, etc. - often mix in porn reviews along with music, fashion, gossip, etc. Today's youth has grown up with adult material as an integral part of their cultural environment and so they're not shocked by it and have actually, come to expect it. As well they should..."
As regular readers know, Luke F-rd has been on a vacation for about three months. J.C. Chang: "I've been reading you postings for many months now, since before the whole Marc Wallice announcement.
"I must say that I've noticed that you do not have alot of new news. What's up? Are you bored covering The porn industry?
"I am bored by the information you post. There is an exceeding ammount of bickering and banter between feuding parties. This can be mildly ammusing on occasion, but not on the regular basis which you publish/post it. In my opinion, it would be a considerable improvement if you'd post more pictures. I prefer your candid shots of porners in day to day dress (fully clothed, less than full make-up, etc..)."
Luke F-rd Takes A Vacation
By Frederick J Buccolini
The following is an account of the day when Luke F-rd took a two week vacation to Bimini and let Rob Spallone run his web site.
THE DRIVE TO THE AIRPORT
Luke: I really appreciate this Rob. Remember, check my messages around 10 AM. I have several people who are extremely reliable sources. You must never reveal their identities.
Rob: Ok. Well...who the f--- are they?
(LUKE WHISPERS THE NAMES INTO ROB'S EAR.)
Rob: Well, don't f---ing kiss me, Donnie Brasco. Watch the f---ing road. I can't believe the names you just told me--those cocksuckers. If you weren't my friend, I'd whack those motherf---ers.
Luke: Calm down little buddy.
Rob: Little bud? Why I ought to--stop the f---ing car!
Luke: Wha, wha...what did I say?
Rob: Don't you ever call me little or I'll cut your dick off!
Luke: I'm sorry Rob. I didn't mean anything by it.
Rob: Geez! Sometimes you are really stupid Donnie Brasco. But, I love you. You're my buddy. So just watch it!
(LUKE AND ROB PULL UP IN FRONT THE TWA TERMINAL.)
Rob: Donnie, to show you there's no hard feelings, I got you a little going away gift.
(HE HANDS LUKE AN ENVELOPE. LUKE OPENS, PEEKS INSIDE.)
Luke: Christ! There must be fifty-thousand in cash here!
Rob: Buy yourself a cocktail, buddy.
Luke: Where did you get this?
Rob: My catering business. I had a good year. I'd rather give it to you than Uncle Sam--the cocksucker.
Luke: I can't take this. It's unethical.
Rob: Who the f--- are you to talk about ethics?
Luke: I think I'm ethical.
Rob: Ethical-shmectical. Take the f---in' money. Take it!
(LUKE STUFFS THE ENVELOPE INTO HIS TOP SHIRT POCKET.)
Luke: Ahh... I'm not so sure about this.
Rob: Donnie, if you feel guilty: don't. If you feel guilty: fire that f---ing shrink. Now get lost and have a nice trip.
ROB ARRIVES AT LUKE'S PAD THE FOLLOWING MORNING
Luke's apartment looks like a bomb hit it. Clothes are strewn in all directions; old taco bell wrappers scattered next to floppy disks, used tissues and marvel comics.
The phone rings. The answering machine picks up. It sounds cheap, antiquated, from another time period. Luke's Aussie voice sounds like he's talking through a dixiecup and a string; he only announces his phone number and then there is a very long BEEP:
A Female Voice: Hi! Luke? This is Nancy Suiter. I just want you to know that I am alive and well and living in Zaire. I married a doctor who works for the Peace Corps. I read your website daily. I want you to know that I was a star in the business when it was the right time to be a star. All of these new starlets can bite me. In fact, I was looking at my movie, 800 Fantasy Lane, just the other night, and I can't believe how beautiful I look. Oh, please look for my book, coming out on Jan 1, 1999, entitled: "God I Look Terrific: My Years as a Porn Queen." Prometheus is the publisher. Well, the natives are getting restless---I should go. Oh, by the way, who the heck is Viper? Isn't that a car? Whatever. Bye. (Click.)
(THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.)
Rob: Who is it?
A Female Voice: It's me! Mrs. Dweedle, your landlady. Open up.
(ROB OPENS THE DOOR WHEN THIS 300 POUND WHALE OF A WOMAN BARGES IN, KNOCKING ROB TO THE GROUND.)
Mrs. Dweedle: Ah Ha! So this is what the place looks like. Oh my God! Look at this place. A computer...where is the keyboard? A floor...where is the carpet? And you! Who the f--- are you and why are you pointing a gun at me?
Rob: My name is Rob Spallone, and I am your worst f---ing nightmare. Get the f--- out!
Mrs. Dweedle: But I must see Mr. Ford. I received the rent check in the mail but he forgot to sign it.
Rob: Look Tweedledee, Luke is on vacation. I'm in charge here. You'll just have to wait 'till he gets back.
Mrs. Dweedle: But, but, but, but...
(SUDDENLY, THE WOMAN GRABS HER CHEST, AND BEGINS TO HYPERVENTILATE. SHE COLLAPSES TO THE FLOOR, AND HAS, WHAT APPEARS TO BE AN EPILEPTIC SEIZURE.)
Rob squats down, and yells into Mrs. Dweedle's left ear:
Lady!!? How can I help you!!?
(MRS. DWEEDLE YANKS ROB'S SHIRT COLLAR, PULLING HIM CLOSER. SHE IS ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING WHEN ROB'S GUN ACCIDENTALLY DISCHARGES, PUTTING A SMALL HOLE INTO THE WOMAN'S HEART. SHE DIES INSTANTLY.)
Rob remains cool and collected. He stands up, saunters to the phone, and dials a number.
ROB: Morty? This is Rob. You still in the taxidermy business? I need a favor.
ROB PICKS UP LUKE AT THE AIRPORT
Rob: Hey! Donnie Brasco! Did you have a good time?
Luke: Ya buddy--the best. No worries, mate!
Rob: I have something to ask you: Do you still have that 50K I gave you?
Luke: Of course! I was planning on giving it back to you.
Rob: Well, you just hold on to it.
Luke: Why? What's up?
Rob: Do you know a Mrs. Dweedle? The heifer?
Luke: Of course, she's my landlord. Why?
Rob: Well, in a nutshell: I killed her. It was an accident, but I killed her. I don't feel good about it, but I killed her.
Luke: Oh my God! This is terrible. What did you do with the body?
Rob: She's in her apartment, propped up on her couch, watching Judge Judy. I had her stuffed!
Luke: Stuffed? Like in stuffing a turkey?
Rob: You got it Donnie! Look, just leave her in her pad until the police find her. I don't think you'll have any problems. But in case you do, use the money I gave you to hire a lawyer. You're going to have to take the rap for this.
Luke: Come again?
Rob: Wake-up Donnie! You're in with the big boys. This is reality time Donnie. Not some f---ing cockamamy fantasy that you write about.
Luke: Oh my God. My life is ruined.
Rob: Don't sweat it. If you're lucky, you'll get 5 years and be out in 2. Look at this as the breaking of your cherry. You're one of us now.
JustMrT@aol.com says: "I could see a certain group that would want to hack Luke, and another group that would be capable of doing it, but little, if any, overlap between the two groups."
