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Debbie Does Dallas On Stage Ralph writes: Hi Luke, Debbie Does Dallas the theatre version opens in New York City. On August 10-19 at the Kraine Theatre. I have tickets to it. What If Porn Companies Paid Residuals? Ranx writes on RAME: So I was talking with a friend the other day and wondered what would happen to the first porn company who not only paid a day rate, but also residualks to it's "talent". Jim Gunn replies: What would most likely happen is that they would incur hassles, expenses and heartache trying to micro-manage disbursements of pennies and dollars to a wide array of here-today gone-tomorrow talent until they realized that they are in overpaying people unnecessarilly. Luke says: Vivid Video pays residuals to its girls. Nameless Horror writes on RAME: Vivid pays a higher day rate, but since it's choosy about the talent it accepts, it hasn't overwhelmed the industry. In fact, the reason they haven't tells us what really has to happen. If some company *first* starts making porn that is so much better in quality than what everyone else makes that it sells more copies of each title that it makes, _then_ that company will be able to afford to spend more money on its productions. That will include paying more to the actors, to pick ones who can act too. But what's quality in porn? I think people would appreciate plots that aren't totally lame, but this sort of thing is hard to market effectively. Scenery and production values are, I think, kind of wasted if the script isn't also better. I was lucky enough to purchase "Surrender in Paradise" recently - and almost by accident, as the second item to fill a 2 for 1 special. At first, I was disappointed by looking at the tape cassette - it was one of those distributed cheaply on a short tape by recording it in 6 hour mode. But there was a movie with a real plot; it was even genuinely romantic to an extent. That plus the location and budget - well, if they ever made a DVD version, and I saw a copy locally, I'd snap it up in a minute. (As it contains Ginger Lynn's debut performance, they have a marketing angle.) Which reminds me...if they have the information somewhere, I'm astonished (that's not quite the right word, because I'm not even _really_ surprised) that when bringing out a movie again on DVD that they don't even make the effort to tack on credits to the end of films which are missing them. Also, there were places in that movie where a teensy bit of extra dialogue could really have made it something special. But making it better as a film might have detracted from it as porn - because porn is enjoyed as fantasy, as an escape from the real-life problems of male-female relationships. If you've seen it, imagine these lines somewhere in the film from one of the models, say the tall dark-haired one in an encounter with Jerry Butler early in the movie: "You lost control of yourself with [Diva's character]. She told us that she was just startled, and you stopped right away before any harm was done. So it isn't what happened then that's bothering me. You sent [Ginger Lynn's character] away, afraid we would be angry with her. But she couldn't hide what she'd been up to, we saw it in her face. She told us what you said about why you were in jail. But I can't be certain that it was the truth. And I'm afraid. I'm afraid that just maybe you were put in jail for losing control of yourself - and that somewhere out there, there's a girl who still hasn't gotten over it, and won't for a long time. Right now, just the slim possibility of that means it doesn't matter to me that you're the only man on the island. If we're here long enough, maybe in a few months I'll be coming to you and begging you...but right now I'm just not interested at all, and now you know why." "You won't have to beg." And maybe in the scene with Stacey Donovan and Renee Tiffany, an extra sentence or two from Jerry Butler: "I'm willing to help all of you survive on this island, no matter what. And if even just one - of the six of you ... likes me, I'll be very happy and completely content." This kind of dialogue would have made the characters a bit more "real"...but would that really be appreciated? In mainstream films, "escapist" genres are still limited in how "serious" their scripts can be. But even with limited aims, there's still plenty of room for improvement. writes: Ginger did a couple of loops before even heading off to Hawaii so none of the above is her first performance but they are probably her first plotted movies. The first of the scenes she did was the pseudo-rape scene with Jerry Butler which was incorporated into Hanky Panky. Her first performance is probably in Pretty Girl #1 where she does a g/g with Angel--also HER first performance probably. She then went on to do b/g scenes with Craig Roberts in Pleasure Productions #6 and probably with dick-o-death Marc Wallice in Pleasure Productions #11 even though the latter wasn't released until 1985. Understand that these were just loops--before the idea that loops were a good idea--and Ginger says that she doesn't remember the order which is not surprising given the current revelations about her sordid past and her drug use. Luke Gets Mail Miguel writes: Luke, Why do you have to publish hate mail? It spoils the site. The racists have their own means of communication. Anyway, you should also publish communications like mine, which are to the point and not vicious. Here is what I want to say: Talk is erotic! Adult video producers can make their products much more erotic by getting the women to speak--explicitly and clearly. Don't drown them out with stupid music or make their voices inaudible. The men, on the other hand, don't need to chatter as much as they do now. Get the women to say what they feel, even use the C-word, which seems to be the last taboo word. Most intense would be to have the women speak to the viewers, as if they're participating. Think of how much people pay for phone sex. Bob writes: Hi Luke, I'm a big fan of your website as I am also torn between the allure of the shadier side of human nature and my religious beliefs (Protestant). But alas, I'm giving in to the dark side of the force w/ this request. Do you have any contact info (e.g. fan club address) for Allysin Embers? I have searched the web but have come up empty. Heather Barron writes: HeatherBarronXXX.com is back up! Just wanted to thank my fans for keeping the faith. I look forward to continuing to ride c--- and analyzing the history of sexual tendencies in this modern day farce called life. Ruby writes: Luke, If you could tell people what to think and do, life would be pointless. God's greatest gift to man is free will, unpopular speech is forever tied to all religions in some way. Gee, not all people believe that Jesus was the son of God, and what about Buddha? I think you need to go somewhere and study all religions equally, find out what your higher voice tells you about all of them, there are so many. All religions have been created by humans for God, and God knows that humans are fallible. The fact that humans are organic beings is what weakness of the flesh is about, not about sex. Jesus was in love with Mary, who was a known prostitute. "Let he among you who is without sin, cast the first stone." Before you decide to be a moral leader, let's examine the fact that no one has the same morals, not even in the same religion. All you need is to listen to the higher voice inside you. Ruby P.S. All religion fascinates me. God loves me cause' I'm fun to watch!!!!! Renaud writes: What: The Erotic Exotic Expo &Fan Fair One of only 2 adult industry events open to the public. Attendee's will enjoy the beautiful 18,000 sq. ft. grand ballroom of the Westin hotel-LAX. Meet some of the adult industry's XXX Adult Stars, Playboy Centerfolds, Penthouse Pets & web models that pose nude on the Internet. Many adult web sites will be present. Full bar and DJ. Cameras are not allowed, but attendees may pose with the ladies in a Polaroid photo & get personalized autographs for a fee, only cash will be accepted. Overnight rooms in the hotel are $99 through the Production office of Expo Entertainment office at 310-280-3252. Tickets are $15 in advance on the event web site, $25 at the door, cash only. Event details available at www.EroticExoticExpo.com When: Sunday, September 30, 2001 1 Day only-12pm-7pm Where: The Westin Hotel-LAX Call for directions 310-216-5858 Press: Call Dan Willis at 310-280-3252 x2 Mr Miscreant writes: In an industry that only pays lip-service to the needs and opinions of the consumer, Miscreant70 is pleased to announce the launch of a new discussion forum for fans (and critics) of controversial adult video company Extreme Associates. Contributors will be able to discuss and review the latest product from the company whilst also exchanging information about the cast and crew of Extreme. What back catalog do you want to see on DVD? Does Extreme make porn movies or freak-show movies? Do you want more sex and less puke? Tell the world what you want! Past and current stars working with Extreme include Kristi Myst, Jasmin St. Claire, Jessica Darlin, Lizzie Borden, Ashlyn Gere, Tiffany Mynx, Veronica Caine and Tom Byron. Find the new forum at: http://pub84.ezboard.com/bextremeassociatesunofficial The unofficial Extreme Associates discussion forum is not licensed by nor affiliated by Extreme Associates. It is an independent forum for expression and commentary only and no attempt is made or should be inferred upon the copyrights or trademarks of said company. For further information contact: miscreant70@yahoo.com Jesse writes: Luke, I feel the struggle within you. Be a good jew or be a bad jew. Get Over It! The jew shit is getting old. Look at all the catholic priests over the years that have no problem molesting kids. And still preach the good word of our lord Jesus Christ! You can talk about, with, and even if you may so choose, befriend one or more of these upstanding mutants in this industry of lies, deceit, and defects. And I'm sure your place in the jew line will not be jeopardized. Now stop being a whinny, wimpy, feel sorry for me jew and run this friggin site. Redeem yourself and be a good jew and make money. The head jews will not admit it but they will be happy about your few shekels you make here and bring to jew church. The jews are just as greedy as the catholics when it come time for the donation. Luke, Lynne Go Chasidic I spent Friday night at an intense Chasidic shul (a type of orthodox synagogue, filled with passion), filled with men with long white beards and deep Torah learning. I could look into their eyes and see the wisdom. When we prayed the Friday evening service, many people prayed with an intense devotion I've rarely seen in synagogue. A '60s hippie turned Orthodox led the dancing for the prayer 'Welcome the Sabbath bride' and I joined in. I loved dancing around the bima (where the Torah is read) arm in arm with other guys. Not one woman was present. I liked that. Next door I found a Chasidic sect from Europe, men with long payas (sidelocks) and streimels (fur hats). Intense, friendly, wise, learned, scrupulously observant. There's no color and excitement like this at Reform and Conservative synagogues. Over our Friday night dinner, I discussed with these yeshiva students (Jewish Talmudic academy) how the Torah cures headaches. When my head hurts so bad I can't do anything, I click over to www.613.org, lie down and listen to a good Torah lecture. They told me that the Talmud says the best cure for a headache is to study Torah. Saturday afternoon, I prayed the afternoon/evening prayers at this intense Chasidic shul - payas, piety, intensity...only one woman around...a little frightening and disquieting for me, intimidating. I may move to Jerusalem after all this fall. Lynne L-patin also went Chasidic Friday night: "I sat on my side of the partition with another woman, and we spent the entire service chit-chatting away while the menfolk danced and sang and read this and that, and it reminded me of nothing more than sitting on a park bench watching little children play in the park. Basically non-intervention, just making sure they are good boys and not watching stag films. Then we walked to the Rabbi's house and all had dinner, celebrating his 21st anniversary. Well over a dozen teen boys were there from a New York yeshiva, and it was the most raucous, fun male bonding I've ever seen. I CAN SEE WHY YOU LIKE IT. I could see you enjoying yourself...it was easy. "Loads of respect to you for having arranged your life to accomodate proper Sabbath observance. It takes time. I do not expect things to change overnight in my life. But there has got to be more to being Jewish than nose jobs and spending lots of money on Bar Mitvah parties. And somehow the idea of these boys accosting people in public and asking them if they are Jews...and asking them if they want to put on tfillin...strikes me as being absolutely radical and hysterical at the same time. "Mostly, though, the idea of my Luke dancing and singing and making noise, all in a company of men, so he can't embarrass himself in front of women (and lose their affection) is GRATIFYING." Lynne writes Goddess: Right now at the shul are a bunch of boys from all over, at summer camp, so to speak. They accost men downtown and ask them if they are Jews and, if they answer in the affirmative, ask them if they want to "lay on t'fillin" (with which we are familiar via Luke). Some of them are from Los Angeles, and when I was forced to get up and speak to the gathering, I mentioned how I had stumbled into the shul in Los Angeles. Several of them came up to me afterward and told me where in Los Angeles they lived. And of course I couldn't mention that I had a friend, L-ke F-rd, who went to such-and-such shul. So now we are at a point where my dearest friend would embarrass me, even far away in...! But now he gives up the website and frees me to go to Orthodox shul and acknowledge our friendship. Is the timing mere coincidence? Or is everything the way it should be? No physicist would accept this as proof of G-d, but I always said that I WOULD. I said that from the beginning. "Heal Luke." I always tried to be especially good, even without any moral teachings or religion, and I thought of Luke as my gift, and that Luke and I would be good to one another, and I would be so very good always...but please, heal Luke. And Luke would bring me to G-d. All of this the first day I met him. A terrified, shaking, sweating boy, and the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. So now I have to believe. And I have to go to shul, and pay homage. And I feel loony, on the edge, but I'm too good to not give thanks where thanks are due. Chaim Amalek writes Luke: Great. Jewish day schools being built with the money of jewish pimps. Why not accept money from crack dealers (or esctasy) as well? Impending Retirement Of L-ke F-rd Spawns Peaceful Protests (AP) BEVERLY HILLS, California - Spontaneous protests erupted Sunday as news spread of the impending close of l-keford.com. The website run by iconoclast/porn scholar, L-ke F-rd, is slated for sale by October 1. "Who will publish my inane song lyrics?" sobbed struggling musician, Jeremy Steele, as he carried a placard in front of the posh Beverly Center. "He definitely captured the zeitgeist of our troubled times," said Jack T. Chick, "He was my muse." Other multiethnic mobs convened on Robertson Boulevard, Pico Boulevard, La Cienega Boulevard and Beverly Boulevard. "I feel it is the end of an era," said a tearful Heather Barron, "I have no reason to go on living." Jeremy Steele writes: The first line of my song "Lovely Is The Night" says "I seem to make more strangers than friends." Is this the story of my life or what? Luke, Why did you say that I say my lyrics are inane? Or did you mean to write "insane"? I know you're just joking, but I'm quite proud of my writings. More proud than I can ever be than a deemed, human generator for a cock, porn star. I'm not a struggling musician. Music is one of the few things which is not a struggle for me to create. In fact, I have too much of it. I don't know what to do with it all. My profession is to stick cock in holes and stuff. No Phd required, but that's what I struggle with at times, I'm a struggling porn star, because guys are like bus boys and since I only pursue enough work so that I can spend the rest of my time doing other things, as well as dealing with certain evil entities bouncing checks repeatedly (ahem!); it, like life, in general, can be called a struggle. So don't call me a struggling musician. I don't trust in man, just in the universe through men to support me, and somehow it always does. And to balance out your overemphasis on Judaic ramblings of late, I'd like to offer pieces of my writings and ask you if it's inane. From "WALKING BOMB OF LOVE" (listen at: www.mp3.com/jeremysteele) We all need some good art in our life, to balance out the true inane bullshit I'm accused, jokingly or not, of offering. Helpful writes: Here's a new job for Luke. Fred writes: Well, he always wanted to be a journalist. Just consider this as a stepping stone. Today, the naked news. Tomorrow, he'll be taking over Dan Rather's job on the CBS news. Chaim Amalek writes: I am afraid to click onto ANY web site that sounds X-rated, for fear of losing control over my browser window. Luke's New Life JRob writes: What will Luke do when . . . He feels a need to espouse his take on Judaism to the unwashed horde and his manager at the Kentucky Fried Chicken tells him to get to work and not bother the customers . . . He feels the need for his own brand of dark mental flagellation and masturbation, and his boss at the Wal-Mart tells him to get to work and stop daydreaming . . . His imaginary friend, Chaim, starts piping up at inopportune moments after he is denied his outlet through l-keford.com [will you still hear the voices, Luke?] . . . When he finally meets a nice girl through his temple, but rediscovers his yearning for porn star style sex . . . When he is finally accepted by his Orthodox shul, and they start expecting (and insisting upon) financial contributions beyond his income from Taco Bell . . . When he remembers he has an education beyond the third grade, that lightning and the nature of celestial bodies have been explained, and that morality and ethics are a function of will, custom, and behavior rather than the dictates of mythology . . . When he realizes that when you make a woman cum by licking her clitoris, she is very often INCREDIBLY nice to you for some time . . . When he figures out that the alternative to menstruation is the phenomenon of "heat" and that we as men would have even less control over our urges without the more evolutionarily advanced reproductive cycle we enjoy . . . That, if the only use for intercourse was producing children, women would be spawning rather than having one (or sometimes two or three) children at a time (swimming upstream to jerk off on underwater rocks would suck compared to human sexuality). . . When Ruby still offers him a "freeby" after the first six months of his orthadox, non-porn (still celibate) life . . . AND, WHEN HE SIMPLY HAS TO SHOW UP AT HIS JOE-JOB EVERY DAY AND NOT ONE FEMALE WORKER AT THAT LOCATION TAKES OFF HER CLOTHES FOR HIM TO PHOTOGRAPH. Is Luke A Father? Heather Barron writes: How do members of your Temple know what you do for a living? Please elaborate here. The porn community is a subculture. If anyone at Temple ever queried, just say you are an online journalist. When you go to Temple, do you were a T shirt that reads "Stand Up Comic by Night, Stand In For Ron Jeremy by Day"? I think you should disclose to America where you live. The Chaim thing got me all in a dither. Do you live in NY or LA or both? You're not one of those Hollywood types with a gay male lover and a poodle in the East Village. Oh shit, maybe Chaim is your dark side/gay male lover. Now I've seen everything. Schizophrenic incest on l-keford.com. Why can't you find a nice girl (or guy) and settle down and get married? You're a good catch. You are a hard worker, an entrepreneur, a moral man with sense of family and religion and you do have a way with words. Do you have any children or wouldn't the real Luke open up that much to the world? Luke says: I live in a Jewish community in Los Angeles. Many members of my synagogue now know what I've done for a living and most of them are appalled. Pornography is strictly forbidden by the Torah as is all forms of sex outside of heterosexual marriage. When queried in a Jewish environment about my form of work, I say that I am a freelance writer on entertainment or crime. Why can't I find a nice girl and marry? Well, the girls I've wanted, have not wanted me, and the girls who've wanted me, I've not wanted. Writing on porn has not helped matters. I have no children and I have never impregnated anybody. I am a father in the sense that my thousands of readers are all my children and I am their spiritual father. I tell them what to do and what to think. Luke Gets Mail RPM writes: How great is it that George W. Bush--or "Little Boots," as Tod Hunter continually refered to him--goes off on vacation just as InsideAdult.com also takes some time off? The only difference is that Bush will be coming back. At least Tod got to go away on a high note, after boasting that he told us all about a James Dean telepic a full day before the Los Angeles Times did a piece on the movie. Of course, the movie doesn't even run until this weekend, but a guy like Hunter needs alls the positive reenforcement he can get. Especially now. Anyway, this has to be a sign from God, or Yahweh, or He Who Cannot Be Named, that you are meant to carry on with your important work at l-keford.com. Gucci writes: Well your leaving will be a loss, but probably also the end of a certain era in US porn. The end of an era, where someone tried to unveil the new, clean 90s image of a healthy and good industry with smart people, saying porn people are still just a bunch of white trash stupids who get an unjustified amount of attention. Kind of what Kenneth Anger did with 20s Hollywood and probably the last time that the porn industry loses control over its image. Plus the interesting, neurotic mingling with moral questions and standards - but not in a modern way (i.e. enlightement, marxist analyses, postmodern interpretations), but in a very reactionary way (religious, in your case jewish, standards) - which to me seems to be typical of certain parts and groups within our society. In the (uncontrolled) liberalisation of the economy to a point where bodies (and private lives, as in reality soaps) become consumer products people try to readapt "idealistic" philosophical argumentations (where there is an "outside" - something like god - again). Or maybe this is just typical American?! But nevertheless, people seemed to be able to understand and react to that. I'd like to know what the most striking "scandals" of the decade were
where pornography made a crossover to the mainstream media (or vice
versa). I've got the following so far: JCJoe writes: Luke: If you are really going to leave YOUR site this time, I want you to know, that I will TRULY miss YOU, the humor, pathos and humility your words brought forth in these past several months. As for your concern about being accepted back into your chosen faith by the leaders and other members of your Synagogue, do not forget, that while being Jewish, is actually, a matter of BLOOD, being a member of the Jewish Religion, or any religion for that matter, is a decision of FAITH and belief. Thus, NO ONE can really accept or reject you, despite what Rabbis, Priests or Ministers, might tell you. For, to paraphrase the words of one of my favorite bits of prose, "YOU are the master of your fate, YOU are the KEEPER of your soul! Never forget, a man's religion is REALLY in his heart, and not within the four walls and stained glass of some man-made structure! I like to think that your writings over these past several months, have truly established your religious beliefs as VERY akin to my own...."an abiding concern for self and your fellow man." So, when you finally leave this web site for good, take with it the wisdom found in the Book of Matthew 6:1. It is a wisdom which the Christian Right-Wing and various other fundamentalist groups, REFUSE to acknowledge, and have NEVER been able to accept as the word of God. It says, and check it out for yourself, "Be Careful that Ye not make a show of your religion before men, for if you do, NO reward awaits you in your Father's house in Heaven! That to me, is one of the most important verses found anywhere in ANY religious book. For, it is saying that a man's TRUE religion should be an expression WITHIN himself, and what he or she accepts in their OWN heart and mind. I am writing these words and quoting from the New Testament, in the hope they will give you strength and comfort, when you do have to face the "wrath" of many "narrow" minds in the outside world, in your quest for "Nirvana." Take Care of Yourself and Shalom! (sp?) "Peace"..........jc ps: I appreciate your "extra" effort in putting up on your site the candid "behind the scenes" pxs of porn ladies smoking cigarettes. Such pxs on this site, will be missed by the ever-growing ranks of our "Smokerhood", who continually search for these scenes in adult videos, and within the NOW, over 1200 web sites catering to the smoking/sexuality fetish! Keith Chang writes: I feel that I must take exception to jc's analysis of that verse. I'm not sure what version jc is utilizing but the KJV states Matthew 6 as: Matthew|6:1 Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. Matthew|6:2 Therefore when thou doest (r)thine¯ alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. These verses (as well as following verses) are an admonition against flaunting one's tithes and offerings in public as a show of worship and of one's religion. Simply put, it asks one to give to the church _discretely_. It's funny how those like jc will take verses directly out of context. It's sad, almost as sad as how celebrities get quoted out of context. So many other passages in scripture, both Old and New Testaments encourage the proliferation and continuation of the faith. jc, we live in America where there is freedom of religion as well as the freedom to expression of such religion. As for Luke, I can only feel gladness for him that he will finally make the decision to make a stand on only one side of the fence. Truly, your reporting prowess will be sorely missed. As for your fellow Jews who look down on you and castigate you for your pursuits, therein lies one of the most basic struggles regarding religion: the balance between [1] Not judging others, lest be judged vs. [2] Correcting others in the name of love so that the corrected one will fully be sanctified. That's a hard one indeed. On one hand, we have Democrats like Condit being the first to cast the stone against Clinton for his marital impropriety while he himself did interns. But then again, do we question a parents for correcting certain wrong-doings of their children (eg. don't play with matches, or else) in the name of love? Also add to that mix: to be fully receive all that religions have to offer comes at a cost and certain sacrifices. If this is indeed the sacrifice that you do indeed feel that you should make in order to feel that you are right and at peace with you maker, then I wish you the best. Do yourself and others a favor, give yourself a point in the future where you will do a "status check" and see whether this new path is the worthy one. If it is, then I'm sure it'll be easier for you not to look back with a longing to return. JC Lee writes: Luke: Please allow me to respond to Keith Chang and his misguided analysis of Scripture. Historically, it is obvious that this VERY type of impasse over Biblical interpretation, resulted in a number of different religious beliefs developing under the "Umbrella (Latin, Umbra--Shadow) of Christianity," so nothing that I write here, will convince Mr, Chang that my view toward Matthew 6:1, is the correct analysis, nor will CERTAINLY not anything he writes, change my view. I will say this. The word "alms" taken in context means "religion," according to the interpretative passage within the Oxford University Press of the New English Bible (my ref source)....Thus, the admonition "be careful not to show your alms, before men, means simply, do not make an outward show of your religion. Now, since you are not to make an outward show of your faith, the ONLY alternative, is to keep it STRONG WITHIN one's self, where it REALLY matters! I have long felt that some of the writings on this site, were orchestrated by sexually frustrated, narrow-minded individuals, quick to REFUTE what they can not accept! Keith Chang proves me CORRECT! My Dear Departed Father, once told me there were two reasons for going to Church. One, was to see God, and the other, was to "Be Seen!" The words of Matthew, are addressed to this second type of person, such as Jerry Fall "Well To The Right" and Pat Robber "Some More of Our Rights" Son....... I stand behind my analysis of Matthew 6:l, and subsequent verses from Matthew (cited by Chang), only serve to RE-ENFORCE my previous view! I would like to add one VERY important point. While a site that focuses on porn industry news, is admittedly, an unusual place for theological discussion, I have found, over these several months,some of the most INTERESTING and thought-provoking words within these pages........Again, Take Care and quoting from Bob Hope, this world's greatest comedic personality-- my own analysis, Mr. Chang-- "Thanks For The Memories!" ps: You may WELL be getting out of this type of business at the right time, for I can't help but feel "Pornogeddon is Coming!", under our nation's current leadership of Daddy's Coat Tails, Dick Chicanery, John Asscrafty and Willie Wrongquest! When I say that a man or woman's religion should really be within his or her heart, where it REALLY matters, I do not mean to preclude WHERE his heart should take the rest of his mind and body--within reason, of course! ..... Thus, if a man's heart wants to take his freedom of expression to a Cathedral, Church, Synagogue, Temple or Mosque to sing, chant, praise, pray or Hallelujah! with others, that is WONDERFUL! If a man or woman's heart wants to go to a hospital, retirement home, cemetery, orphanage, or homeless shelter, to comfort those in need, that is GREAT! In the same way, if a man or woman's heart takes him or her beside a rolling brook, underneath a huge, enveloping tree, surrounded by multi-colored flowers in the shadow of a towering mountain, to express spirituality, that is JOYFUL indeed! BUT! it is when, a man or woman's heart, seeks to force his or her religious doctrines on a traveler in a crowded airport, a spectator at a football game (those John posters between the goal posts), or someone's private home (Knock! Knock!), I say that is as HYPOCRITICAL as the Television Evangelist, who drives his new LEXUS to the studio each week to pry (pray) $20 for "Jeeesssuss Work," out of the purse of a senior citizen living alone, on a fixed income! At the same time, I ABHOR! any man or woman, who under the vague "Family Values" banner, seeks to "force-feed" me their "Fundamentalist Fodder!, and TRAMPLE upon my First Amendment Rights in the process. It is then, this last group of individuals--who parade their "Pharasee Piety" like military operations ribbons-- that the wisdom of Matthew is aimed toward, and CERTAINLY not the VAST majority of the World's religious followers. Chaim Amalek writes Luke: It pains me to see a man crawl like a Palestinian, cowering before an Israeli batton, when he might walk erect. No born jew would act like this, Levi/Luke. You know, there ARE lots of other jewish temples you could try going to.... This new plan for l-keford.net sounds like something you would be good at. But really, you don't expect anyone to read l-keford.net, and you certainly cannot expect anyone in the media to give a shit about it or to interview you for what appears on it. Once the porn angle is gone (and I include Pierce-like stuff in that catagory), Luke the Media darling is gone as well. Meaning, you had damn well better achieve fame through this other plan if you want to be famous. Is Luke Uncomfortable With His Bodily Functions? Ruby writes: Luke, Are you uncomfortable with your bodily functions? I disagree that menstruation represents death, it represents the potential for life, I do not dislike my period, I couldn't wait to get it, I got mine at 14. I do not find the cycle of life disgusting, in fact, I seem to make more money on my period than any other time of the month. It's similar to estrous in animals and nothing to be afraid of or grossed out by. I really don't know if I want to be a mom, with the world the way it is. I'd have to be at least 35. Redwinged Ruby P.S., I think the exchange of energy is more intense, and I come harder when I'm menstruating. GeneRossExtreme Preoccupied With Death GeneRossExtreme.com has taken a decidedly nasty over the past few months, disturbing many of his formerly faithful readers. Gene's primary fascination, it appears to some readers, is with defecation. See all his coverage of Extreme Associates director Turd Ferguson, who dresses as a piece of human waste. Gene writes on his site: Convinced that his scenes will be regarded as works of art by future generations of porn viewers and that Tom Zupko will be perceived as a pile of shit, Turd Ferguson, alias Master Shitty, put the wraps to Young Muff #8 this past weekend. Ferguson shots scenes that included newcomers Genevieve, Katrina Spanks, Bree and a rap video ending. Gene: You wrapped up Young Muff #8. Ferguson: We sure did, Gene Ross. We went through some shitty circumstances to get there; the shit hit the fan a couple of times. Some crazy shit went down. Luke says: This fascination with defecation is dangerous. It is another facet of the fascination with death. Defecation, like menstruation and leprosy, represents death. Defecation represents the remains of processed food. Menstruation represents the death of a potential life. Leprosy, with its scaly skin, represents the appearance of disease, which frequently leads to death. The discharge from a male is semen and from the female, blood. Each represent life, and their loss represents death. That's why menstruation and the ejaculation of semen represent the end of a life force and are impure. "Because impurity and holiness are antonyms, the identification of impurity with death must mean that holiness stands for life. "Because the quintessential source of holiness resides with God, Israel is enjoined to control the occurrence of impurity lest it impinge on His Realm. The forces pitted against each other in a cosmic struggle are...the forces of life and death set loose by man himself through his obedience to or defiance of God's commandments." (Rabbi Jacob Milgrom) The Torah frequently commands Israel to choose life, because the Torah understands how strong is the human death wish. A fascination, objectification and glorification of defecation and excretion, of cum shots and leprosy and disease and rape and pillage is a way of preoccupying yourself with the worst stuff. Extreme Associates makes movies like "Forced Entry" about a man who fancies himself as Hollywood serial killer Richard Ramirez and acts accordingly. Seeking entertainment in such things reduces you. As I wrote in my 1999 book A History Of X: "From AIDS to the Mob, the specter of death has long haunted porn. Shauna Grant, a 1982 discovery of Bobby Hollander, blew her brains out in 1984. Other star suicides includes Melba Bruce, Mary Millington, Talia James, Lynn Tars, Tina Ross, Wade Nichols, Savannah, Megan Leigh, Nancee Kellee, Alex Jordan, and Cal Jammer. Laurien Domonique choked to death. Kathy Harcourt was fihsed out of New York's East River. Tiffany Lane died in a car accident that resulted in the amputation of one of Patti Petite's legs. Veri Knotty, transsexual Jill Munro, Michael Bruce, Kevin James, and Danny Husong all died young. Linda Wong, Arcadaia Lake and about a dozen other performers died of drug overdoses. A john murdered female performer Charli Waters in 1989. Six years later, a wave knocked director Michael Ricaud off a cliff and to his death during a shoot. European porn actor Riny Rey was gunned down in Budapest on April 12, 1996, just days after finishing work on Private Dancer and Sin, two productions for Private. In 1997, a shootout at porn productin company Elegant Angel killed pornographer Israel Gonzalez and one cop. About a dozen gay performers have killed themselves..." 7% Test Positive For Chlamydia Gene Ross reports: According to AIM's Sharon Mitchell, in the past week 178 performers so far have taken advantage of AIM's fee testing for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea. That's the good news. The bad news is that 7% have tested positive. "All have been medicated and re-tested before they re-enter the workplace," Mitchell says. Mitchell says the free testing program will extend to the end of the year. "We still encourage industry members to come in and pee in the cup routinely every 90 days," Mitchell said. Accordingly, those found to be positive are out three to five days by the time medication kicks in, Mitchell says. "You can push it with three but we prefer five." However, Mitchell says some people cheat and start working right away. "Which is how this whole started to begin with." Mitchell would like to see the same compulsory STD testing as there is for HIV. On another note, Mitchell says a good job has been done with hepatitis testing. "We've monitored and checked a lot of the industry for that," she said. "And because we have partly a free vaccination program here we've gotten a lot of people vaccinated." AVN Shuts Down InsideAdult.com Friend writes: "Read Tod Hunter yet? Looks like the internet will suffer from a distinct lack of intelligent banter...no Luke, no Tod, why bother?" Tod Hunter writes on InsideAdult.com aka Tod-Hunter.com: Just got the word yesterday that as of tomorrow insideadult.com will be kaput. They're pulling the plug. Faw-down-go-boom oop-a-doop-wango alas-it-is-no-more. And let me tell you: I am relieved. This Website has been a hell of a lot of work, gobbling up half my day, every day, since last November when < at my request, I hasten to point out < I took it over. I've enjoyed it, make no mistake. I've had a lot of fun going places and reporting about them, and passing along those news items I thought to be of interest, and doing it right now instead of a month in advance. (By contrast, I just finished my stories for the September issue.) And the brass at AVN has been remarkably hands-off, letting me pursue those things I was interested in. I thank them. And I thank you. When you took ten minutes out of your day in the late afternoon to let me share with you what I wanted to pass along, you gave me your time. And I appreciate it. I will continue to work at AVN magazine < more so, now that I don't have this Website eating up my days < nurturing my baby, Media Circus, and writing and editing interviews, features, and on-the-set pieces. Heidi will continue to keep you updated on The Real News Of Adult over at AVN.com. I'll be throwing stuff in the mix now and then as well, just like I did when I was doing this. Why Are Many Israelis Rude And Arrogant? Coming home from my afternoon constitutional, I got yelled at by a dark Middle-Eastern looking man. It turned out to be an Israeli I knew from shul. He drove a big van and just stopped it in the middle of the intersection. I walked over to talk to him. This is somebody who could be a friend to me. But I felt bad because other cars were hampered in their ability to pass. I motioned him to pull over to the side but he had no interest in that. Let the other cars work their way around him, he was staying put and talking to me. This type of behavior, inconveniencing others for no good reason, is condemned by the precepts of the Torah and ethical monotheism. Is The Los Angeles Times A Filthy Rag? I was at a rally for Israel Wednesday night and the Orthodox rabbi, from the pulpit, called the Los Angeles Times "a filthy rag." I've heard numerous other Orthodox Jews use similar language. Several Orthodox rabbis tell their congregants not to subscribe to the LA Times and many Orthodox Jews I know in my community subscribe instead to the New York Times. Dennis Prager says the LA Times revels in publishing unrepresentative profiles of Jewish life. Which should make me a natural subject. Pansy Luke Acts Like A Jilted Lover Rodger Jacobs writes Luke: "It seems to me -- applying pathetic armchair psychology here -- that you are always forcing yourself upon groups, and perhaps individuals as well, who shun you, hence replaying a childhood rejection trauma. I mean, come on, most dictionaries define a Jew as "a member or descendant of the Hebrew people" and a pornographer as one who "disseminates obscene literature or art". Do either one of those definitions apply to L-ke F-rd? Certainly not." Luke says: "I'm afraid you are spot on. I feel exactly like a jilted lover. I have all the same feelings in my body and mind and soul right now that I had when rejected by a girl I liked in sixth grade." Rumdar writes: "Luke sounds insane. His old shul and old friends there just want to be left alone. Luke reminds me of a guy hounding a woman for a date after she has told him several times to fuck off. Give it up already!!" Heather Barron writes: "I knew Luke was Chaim. But is Luke also Curious? Why can't Luke made himself into a Rabbi and build his own Temple for those with careers that are porn related? This is America. Custom build your own religion goddamnit!" Luke says: "I would never want to belong to a religion or Temple I created. Organization building, or building anything up is not my strong suit. I do much better at tearing things down." Will This Be A Sabbath Of Consolation For Luke? This week's Sabbath is a famous Sabbath - it is the Sabbath of consolation when we read a consoling portion from the book of Isaiah. But will there be any consolation for Luke aka Levi Ben Avraham? Chaim Amalek writes: Of all your plans, the one to get back into the good graces of big-shot Hollywood Juden by emasculating yourself is the most pitiful and the least probable. THEY DON'T WANT YOU AROUND. Get that through you thick goyishe head. Oh sure, maybe there are other orthodox groups that would tolerate you, but I can all but guarantee that they won't be of the upper class power-broker variety you crave. There are reasons for dumping your porn personum, but rejoining these guys is not one of them. Don't be a passive shmuck! If they won't let you eat at the table, kick down the fucking legs! (Borrowed from a Black Power slogan in the 60's, when I was a member of the Black Panther Party.) Act like the hero jews of the 60's who marched against the whites in the south and organize against racist injustice in this shul. (And don't kid yourself - this is a matter of race. If your birth mom had been a member of the jewish race, you would be in, and would now have a fine career in Hollywood to boot. The main reason you have been ejected from shul and have been reduced to choosing between penury and porn is that you lack jewish mitochondrial DNA.) STAGE ONE: The favorite tool of a literate people who make heroes of lawyers - a letter writing campaign. Please post on your web site the email addresses of those tormenting you, and let your many jewish (and gentile) readers write to these folks on your behalf. (not terroristicly, of course) [Rumdar interjects: "Funny, but not a sound idea. A tactical withdrawal from this particular tribe of Hollywood Jews is in order."] STAGE TWO: Picket that shul on shabbas. (Hopefully it lies within an eruv, so the carrying of plackards will not violate the sabbath. But if not, an impromptu eruv can be erected. I know of a business, Ernie's Eruvs, that can have one up in no time for very little cost. They use Mexicans.) Use porn starlets to garner LOTS of media attention. And have 'em strip off their tops! Such jews are so comfortable in their lives, and so timid about anything that might disturb them, that the mere threat of a group of pornstresses picketing their temple should send a delegation of gedolim over to Lukes, keepah in hand, asking him to reconsider HIS decision to leave them. STAGE THREE: Let's hope that stage one suffices. Amalek stands with you! Rumdar writes Luke: "Picketing. A tactic that takes me back to my youth. "Hell No We Won't Go", "Hey! Hey! LBJ How Many Kids You Kill Today?" "Dump the Hump" ....only this time around it is, "Free the Beverly Hills 1" "Hands off Levi"...."Religious Freedom for All Porno Wackos." "I think I know why they hate you. It is simple. You are a clear and present danger. They don't want you hanging around anyone who will introduce any radical ideas into their staid existence. For instance "sex should be enjoyable and somewhat frequent (more than once a month)"...."women actually give out pookie once in a while without demanding a new Lexus" ......"There are women in the United States who make a sound or two during sex and actually achieve orgasm"...These are dangerous concepts that could upset the balance of power in the Jewish Household. "They fear you'll try to lure their kids into your Jeffrey Dahmer van with a protein bar... "But I must cast my vote with those who suggest it is painful to see you groveling to these individuals. Chaim is "right on," you are dead in the water with that particular group of Hollywood Jews. Sending them E mail, promising to give up sleaze, whatever, will get you nowhere. Leave them alone. Make a new plan. What is the old adage?..I have it, you are "Beating A Dead Horse"... Why not follow me and see about joining The Rotary Club? Why don't all LF Advisory Committee members join the Rotarians? Clean water for rural villages, wheelchairs for the infirm and a sewing machine for every needy orphan and hooker. Stop whining about your alleged miserable life Levi, think global." Luke: Rum, how are you? Rumdar says: Life is too good my friend. T-Land was again a blast. Did some boinking, sightseeing, golf (only my third time on the links) and bonded with the love of my recent life, Ms. Popsicle Toes. I'd love to bring the little nipper to H-town for a few months. Very difficult to obtain a visa considering her vocation. I am quite serious about the wheelchairs, water projects and sewing machines for indolent women (and orphans) I really want to give something back to these wonderful, smiling people. Of course I have been around long enough to know the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And that I am a world class procrastinator. We shall see. Perhaps this will be the year I get out to Cal. and take you to lunch. In the meantime why don't you give the Jews a break. You don't need them. Instead, send your Dad an E mail and tell him you love him. The Great Buddha will smile upon you. Lynne L-patin: We talk about porn being especially cruel and thoughtless, but reality is that the real world is the same for the most part. Either we huddle in "cults" which are like pseudo-family, or we trust only our family, but it all comes down to individuals, I think. All these nice straight conservative realtors who've worked together for years and years didn't blink at casually letting me go, even though the woman they first hired left them after four days, and they were offended! Lynne L-patin: Anyway, do you think Chabad will allow me to attend
services? As an unsponsored female? Lynne L-patin: I always act modestly...I'm a massive introvert, remember?
I can barely speak with strangers.... k...and no need to wear all black
as a widow, then? Luke says: Chabad (a form of Orthodox Hasidic Judaism) is an excellent choice for society's rejects like you and I. They're warm, loving and as tolerant as pious people can be. Curious writes: ">You have the wrong mitochondrial DNA for these people.> This I will never understand. Every and I mean EVERY other religion wishes to grow its numbers by being inclusive and even actively recruiting. Why do the Jews not seek converts like the Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, and Catholics? Are they just too polite to canvas a neighborhood during dinner time like the JWs?" Rumdar adds: "Excellent question.."Jews In Canoes" I call it. A Rabbi told me once, "who would want our problems?" But that didn't answer the question. ALSO, Another question. If the mother is Jewish and the father is not, the kid is considered a yiddle. If the father is Jewish and the mother is a goy the kid is not. But with DNA testing and the goo being mixed together the kid has Jewish DNA right? He is biologically part Heb. So is the policy being reviewed? Come on Jewish Ad. Com. members. We want answers...." Helpful writes: "Porn may be the red herring. Perhaps DP [Dennis Prager] has you > blackballed?" Chaim replies: "The funny thing is that I have been reading this site for so long that whenever I see any reference to "DP", it sure ain't Dennis Praeger that comes to mind. "PS Ya know, this guy Praeger has a nationally syndicated radio show, does he not? While it does not appear on NY radio, there must be lots of Lukites who get it. I say they ought to call in and ask Mr. Praeger to reconsider his hatred of Mr. Ford, and, indeed, intercede on his behalf with the Gedolim of Hollywood to provide Luke with an important job in Big Media." Helpful writes: "Seriously. Why do you not give up dennisprager.net? Perhaps you can mend fences with your old mentor DP. You must admit it generates low hits and even lower income. Give it up." Luke says: Dennis Prager turned me on to ethical monotheism and I must take those teachings to the world. I've always wanted to be a missionary since I was kid. Chaim writes: Yeah, off the record (if you like), what is so special about Dennis Praeger? Out here, he is not known by even 1% of the population. But even if he were more widely known, who cares what he says or thinks about anything? Rush Limbaugh ($250,000,000 contract!!!!) he ain't. Rumdar writes: I never heard of the guy before I did Luke and I haven't heard of him after I did Luke. I wouldn't know where to look for his radio show. The other guy, Matt Drudge" I have read about but only briefly in Time. Which brings me to ask myself "how the hell did I ever find Luke?". I must have been trolling for sleaze and someone had a link. Luke says: What I don't understand is, if so many members of my old shul are monitoring my web site, how could they not love me? How could you read this site every day and not love me? I am so adorable. Helpful writes: Answer: One wrong click and they're hyperlinked to www.shitcity.com! Luke's Sad Life Movie LEAVING LAS VEGAS: (1995, drama) Nicholas Cage. Elisabeth Shue. A hopeless alcoholic moves to Las Vegas, determined to drink himself to death. But falls in love with a prostitute. LEAVING L-ke F-rd.COM: (2001, biopic, comedy) L-ke F-rd. Logan LaBrent. A hopeless porn scribe stays in Los Angeles, determined to be an orthodox Jew and moral leader before his death. But falls in love with a prostitute. Shunned by the shul a second time, he moves to Las Vegas. Ruby writes: "Luke, Do not move to Las Vegas, it's not worth it! That's why I moved back. You won't save any money. I didn't like the movie "Leaving LasVegas." However, I loved really leaving that town. I suggest you watch my perenial favorite, "Pretty Woman", or "Dangerous Beauty", 2 of the best ho flicks of all time. My real live babysitter was in Dangerous Beauty." Israeli Helicopter Gun Ship Headed For Levi's Hovel? Rumdar writes: Does anyone but me fear that one day an Israeli helicopter gunship, the type used to assassinate unwanted Palestinians will suddenly appear over Beverly Hills and fly towards Luke's hovel. Then, Rat A Tat Tat....Or, BA Boooooom! a rocket tears through the walls of Levi's humble abode and Luke is no more. He wakes up eating protein bars in paradise. Luke's rabbi get the call, shakes his head and sighs, "Regrettable, but it had to be done, he would not take NO for an answer." Luke Medicates His Pain I just ran up a $132 grocery bill largely buying certain chemicals to medicate my pain - Balance protein bars. They are perfectly kosher. Certified by the Orthodox Union. And over the past six weeks, I've been eating up to three a day.
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