Thursday, July 5th, 2001

Luke Gets Mail

Dafficus writes: I am looking for a female porn star by the name of Timber. Is she still in the business? I read on your web site that she was living with a director. She was a dancer from Indiana and I really enjoyed her films. All of a sudden she just dropped out of site.

Curious writes: A History of X hits the bargain bins.

Amber@EroticVideos.com writes about Internext: ummmm ... who pays 8k for airfare from Florida to Vegas and 48k for a hotel room? What kind of room did JoeE stay in? Geez!! My room was a little $60 a night room BUT I was busying having fun so who cares what the room is like anyway!!

My tip is to get some of those casino players cards and they will usually give you free rooms - if not discounted ones. I know from this show I got offers in my mail before I even got home!! Gotta love Vegas. ;-) I can't help but laugh at the massive amounts of money WASTED by the "big boys" at these shows - then they all go home and complain how the money spent wasn't worth it. Well - DUH!! Stop throwing away $48k on hotel rooms! And stop flying up like 10 strippers to Vegas to hang out with you (all first class) - you know there is such a thing as coach.

JoE replies: we had 20 hotel rooms for 34 people. we brought in 6 models that were professional south beach models(and were extremely nice btw) they shared rooms. we do these things for OUR webmasters and not to "show off"... Ask Roger from Pornkings.com ;-)))

Luke- how much you think airfare is for 34 people round trip to LV from Lauderdale? Amber needs to start making some $$$$ with http://www.trafficcashgold.com so she can stop waiting on line for the "free buffets". $40,000 for booth space to talk to 1,000 maybe webmasters? Who's out of line here? Don't twist the numbers.....they do not lie.

Jeff writes: Luke, I found this band's website and they're apparently good friends with many porn stars. In fact, Jenna Jameson was on their CD cover. Check it out and Id be curious to hear what these girls have to say about them. http://www.sugardaddyrecords.com/alishaklass.htm
http://www.sugardaddyrecords.com/JANINE.htm
http://www.sugardaddyrecords.com/jenna.htm
http://www.sugardaddyrecords.com/kendra.htm

Stuart Allen vs Craig Amabello

Stuart Allen writes Luke: I am a low level player in this great industry but I thought my most recent difficulty might be of interest to you. I live in NYC but shoot all my x rated tapes in LA. On Tuesday, I got a call from Craig Amabello, my editor, informing me that he wanted $1000 in cash by the first of July for "storage" of my work tapes( all of which could fit inside of a large shoebox). If I didn't pay him the money they "might get ruined". I hung up the phone and called the LAPD to report the attempted extortion. I will be speaking with the DA this week but the police said that this sounded more like a civil matter than a criminal one. Craig is amazed that I prefer to go to the expense of hiring an attorney instead of paying him his "fee". I have hired him in the past and there is no question that I do not owe him any additional amount for the work he has already done. He just wants a storage fee, or else. I won't pay blackmail. I realize that there are always three sides to every story; mine, his and what really happened. Admittedly, these tapes have been in his possession for 6 months due to my inability to sell them and my wish to have them ready for reediting, should the need arise.

RESPONSE FROM: CRAIG AMABELLO
RE: Your phone call to me about Stuart Allens Strange accusations against myself.
Time: 3:36 A.M.

Once again, I've had a long hot f---in day shooting for the Insane but highly entertaining, Jim Powers, on his latest opus for Gabor & Heatwave Entertainment titled, "Baby Doll". I still can't shake the image from today of Gabor, Intensely explaining that he heard on talk radio that the size of the average white American males penis is the same size as a Nextel Cell Phone, while the average Black males is the size of a Nextel phone, with the Antenna Extended!

After a 15 hour day the last thing I want to do is check my phone messages, But I do. As I'm listening to my answering machine I realize that I can once again chalk up another name in my ever growing list of random late night porn calls. I hear the very clear & lucid voice of yours truly asking if I would like to make a statement about a one: Stuart Allen & his charge that I am Blackmailing him! Since YOU asked...... Here is my side of the story: & a brief history.

I am 39. Been in show biz all my life. Living in LA. for the last decade. Been in Porn for over 6 years now, Directing, Shooting, & Editing...( Hey, wanna hire me?........ e-mail me: amabello@wgn.net). ( But please, don't email saying you want to kill me, I have an agent now that exclusively handles all my Death threats). Everyone knows me, & yet no one knows me. What's crazy is that I just may be up for "the most hated man in porn" award. Even though I work hard, I'm easy to get along with, & I get the job done.

It seems like I don't have the right connections, & can't advance myself to a better level, but yet on an average day I may have Buck Adams calling me, telling me, "He's gonna kick my ass Texas Style". To that loser/Lying/thief/Punk, Johnny Toxic Screaming messages repeatedly into my machine that I would be sucking his dick forever, to Alec Metro telling me he was going to kick my ass because HE owed me money, to Paul from Notorious telling me that I am Banned for all eternity for doing editing for the 10 network because I had the gaul to call someone there & ask a question. To the absolutely Intensely Insane, Jack Hammer, who on any given day vacillates between wanting to make me his bitch or his buddy.

To Jim Powers constantly screaming into my message machine at 8:10 A.M. to: "Put down the bong/ & or Crack pipe & get my ass down to the set" when we all know that not even the production manager is out of bed yet. Let alone the girls who haven't yet gone to bed because they're still snorting lines from the night before, which was the day before, which started a week ago....You get the picture.

To my buddy, Dave Hardman who always calls & reminds me, "Hey, you think You got a hard life, try being me for a week". To a couple days ago when an L.A.P.D Detective from the Robbery/Extortion/Blackmail Division called my home & said he had some questions about Stuart Allen & that hey, "We don't have your house surrounded by Police cars, we just only wanna talk to you bit". I sit & wonder how this all comes to Stuart Allen & his Fantabuluse, Phantograzmitical, Bulls--- tale of my Blackmailing him. But here we are.

Stuart Allen is a very sad, confused, pathetic little f--- who I believe needs to learn how to treat people with some kind of courtesy & respect. This twat picked the wrong year to f--- with me. Your web sight claimed that Stuart Allen created Cable Porn? Please. If this be true. Then maybe that explains why it sucks! To many f---in people... To full of them f---in selves. Stop the madness! This man can't even direct his way out of a douche bag, let alone, create something that is even vaguely watch able. I could grab a crack head off the street & get a better director than this "Screwy Stuey".

I know this, because I worked for that psychotic f--- last year. This loser was flying out to LA once a month dropping about $15,000 a pop, just so that he could try & get laid. And I had to tape this pathetic attempt at sex that he referred to as a New Ground breaking style. ( Yeah, if you consider a very disturbed, skinny little, limped dick, red headed, white guy, jerking off, & calling it a porn series, well then, sure.) Stuarts lame attempts at making his Ultimate porn series was a nightmare shoot from hell that just about turned the cast & crew into shell shocked war victims. When little people, of small minds, don't have a clue as to what they're doing, & won't let anyone help them, madness usually reigns. And madness it was.

This nice, sweet, kind, mild mannered director turned into a spitting, purple faced, She devil of a bitch in drag who has no concept of the word Cut, let alone the word, Action. This man ruins anything vaguely erotic. He is so f---in uptight he makes Tipper Gore seem like a party girl. Which brings us to the present.

This man is now calling up everyone he knows, (Does the Insane Asylum let you use the phone?) & telling them that I am Holding his tapes Hostage (from these shoots) for Blackmail. This is an absolute lie! He is just another f----up I've had to deal with. I have had his tapes/Crap/Garbage/ for over 9 months now.I have repeatedly begged him to get his tapes out of my hands since January. They are not my responsibility to hold if I am not working on them, I don't want them. He wont come & pick them up. He wont return my calls. I have told stuart repeatedly that I am many things, Director, Cameraman, an editor, But I am not a storage facility. If these tapes are not picked up I am going to bill you for storage charges ( I told him this in January).

I talked to Stuart on the phone & in person a dozen times about these storage charges & picking up his tapes. He just kept blowing me off saying, " Yeah, yeah, I'll get back to you on this". Of course he never did. When I finally told him, that's it, these tapes must be out of my hands by July 1, 2001 & a bill for storage must be paid, he went ballistic. Yelling & screaming & Threatening me with ominous statements that 3 different men were going to come to my place & take the tapes by any means available, & then he hung up. I called him back 4 times & spoke very politely to him that this matter must be resolved & that I was even willing to work out some kind of compromise, Stuart just screamed, "f--- you...f--- you...f--- you!" & kept hanging up on me.

By this time I figured, f--- it, he's insane, I don't need this s--- in my life, I'll just take care of it later. So then I find out he's not only called the L.A.P.D to try & have me charged with some Felonious act, but he's also obviously called you to try & spread some more stupid f---ed up stories & lies about my character. Why would some one call you up Luke about something that has nothing to do with you? Does Stuart Allen actually think this is going to affect me? What, am I going to be Black listed from the glorious world of porn? My first month in Hollywood I was told that I would never work in this town again. I'm still here. I'm still working. & I've found that its only the real f---ed up losers like Stuart Allen who have watched to many bad B-movies who say stupid s--- like that.

I am an easy going guy. A professional. I wouldn't have lasted this long in the business if I was some kind of scam artist/Thief that Stuart is claiming I am. Hey, if Rob Spallone was happy with my work then how bad of a guy can I be? The buck stops here. I have got to start standing my ground & be a Cunt like so many other people have been to me. I'm tired of always being the nice guy who gets screwed in the end. If I let a moron like Stuart f--- with me, & get away with it, then I might as well pack my bags & run home to the hills. I just want a dead beat to pay his bill & get his product out of my hands. Does that make me a cunt? If so, then I wanna be a right Nasty little cunt & show that I wont get fooled again & take any s--- from weasels like Stuart Allen.

Stuart Allen writes Luke: Gee, I thought I was a nice guy. I must be a real prick to have forced such a forthright individual to have endured such privation. At least Craig seems to have gotten a commercial out of this. Maybe he can get some more work. The only comment I can make regarding his statements, is that I am skinny and the reason he had the tapes as many months as he did is that it took him four months to finish the job he agreed to do in six weeks. Such is life in PORNLAND> Thank you for your time and interest and as the sun slowly sets in the west we bid a fond farewell to the world of smut. Stuart aka the skinny f--- who cann't get it up.

Two thoughts I'd like to share with you. 1) All things in life are relative. Einstein defined relativity thusly: a minute spent sitting on a park bench with a pretty girl is a lot shorter than a minute spent sitting on a hot stove. 2) Two goldfish in a bowl. One says, "Do you believe in God?" The second replies, "Of course, who do you think changes the water." Will Rogers used to say that all he knew was what he read in the papers. Imagine if all he had read was your column?

Top scientist says: SICKO SPACE ALIENS ARE STEALING OUR WOMEN -- and turning them into prostitutes!

Fred writes: L-- You have posted scurrilous stuff regarding pornographers of a certain ethnic group who have been making off with young shiksas. However, you have been ignoring a far more important late breaking news item. I can only assume that you are trying to divert our attention from this far more heinous group of scoundrels, and in fact, you are in league with them.

LAS VEGAS, Nev. -- Twisted aliens are running a shocking interplanetary white-slavery ring, says a top UFO investigator, who charges that the E.T.s routinely whisk female abductees off to far-flung planets and space stations to serve as hookers!

Respected UFO researcher Dan Courtley bases his controversial claim on interviews with more than four dozen women -- who when put under hypnosis, recalled being held captive for hours, days, weeks or months and repeatedly coerced into sickening sex acts.

Internet Fulfillment Debate

Here's a debate about the Internet Fulfillment Company located at www.IFC2000.com.

Russ writes: No offence Luke but do you print all of the bulls--- that people tell you is true. Do you know all of the facts about this Gary Horn guy? He's an absolute idiot. Hanging out with Norm Wilson should be proof enough of that. He says he lives on a yacht did you know his boat is a 20 foot tug boat that is falling apart at the seams. He has not a dime to his name, their both begging money from almost strangers.Gary was not in retirement, he was not wanted by anyone. As like Norm Wilson any deal he had tried to put together for himself in the past 10 years fell threw. He did introduce some people to each but they did the work. Their two idiots in a pod. It seems that their business consists of stealing ideas from Internet Fulfillment, which was rightfully taken from Norm... I can't wait to watch phoenix fulfillment crash and burn.

As far as Gary and xpics he was let go for being over paid for his job. He tried to be a tuff guy and draw up a law suit that xpics laughed at. His good friend Greg Picconelli tried tell him move on but to what he had nothing even his friends are done with these guys. Luke I hope you can see that these guys are full of s--- trying to sell you on how great it is. Two guys who are so busy have time to write you. By the way Norm and Gray are two guys who got a big kick out of you being pouched out at a La show awhile back now your a good friend... This new fulfillment deal they have IT ISN'T WORKING they went to a show with nothing .....lol smart guys ....They have even tried to order product in IFC name dip s---s. Gary and Norm are standing up and opening there arms to the Adult world an guess what people are done with dick heads like this and are going to kick them right in the nuts.

Luke says: Well, at least Gary Horn and Norm Wilson communicate to me under their real names. As for Gary's boat, it is a 46-foot boat which costs over $1000 a month, parked in an exclusive marina. The Xpics lawsuit is coming up. Norm has a 20,000 foot warehouse full of stock, so I doubt he needs to order through Internet Fulfillment.

TUC writes: To clear up a few things...

1. Regarding the ongoing bickering over the Internet Fulfillment story. People do not use their real names in this dispute simply because of the heavy-handedness of those involved. Several IFC employees, who apparently jumped ship, were threatened. Not by Norm Wilson who knows better, but by his flunky yesman, Rodney Thompson. They have at least one of these conversations on tape. Norm Wilson and Gary Horn, on the other hand, have not been threatened, so perhaps they feel it safe to use their real names.

2. Webmasters and readers need to know that, as a post by a "Sid Hutchins" stated previously, that the first round of checks were bounced by internet fulfillment a full month before Mr. Wilson's ouster. According to sources, they have been left in financial devastation by mis-management. The receiver, Clay Dunning, while having no experience in the e-commerce or the adult industry, has done an exceptional job in slowly but surely making sure everyone was paid their due and vendors were fully compensated. Most all major vendors I have spoken to fully intend to do business with IFC in the future.

3. I've spent many hours at the IFC facility and there are no malcontents, only professional calibre people who would be considered a godsend to almost any e-commerce or adult business lucky enough to employ them.

4. "Underhandedness" seems to be an issue when it comes to everyone's discussion of the plaintiffs. Yet, child pornography, incompetence and other factors seem not to receive the attention that they perhaps should. Why is this?

5. Rest assured that Internet Fulfillment will continue to be a force well into the future. Those I know who work there have had their hands full but are slowly rebuilding from the rubble and every day brings added improvement. I, for instance, have received payment in full. And best of all, there will be no more bounced checks. That period ended with Mr. Wilson and his team with their severe mismanagement. It's hard to pay your bills when you're using money that belongs not only to you, but to your partners as well, to line your own pockets, as well as your girlfriend's. They made out like bandits while bickering over a dollar raise for their employees who actually made everything there happen.

6. Perhaps it would be best to wait and see what happens in a court of law, rather than the continued bashing of many well-meaning and innocent people, especially by those who know next to nothing about the entire case, as well as by those who have been banned from the facility by the courts. Nothing was stolen or taken away from anyone wrongfully, but by the full letter of the law, be that good or bad as it may.

Luke says: I spoke to Rodney Thompson Wednesday afternoon. He now works at Norm Wilson's new company Phoenix Fulfillment.

Rodney worked at IFC2000.com for two years and for several days after the April 20th takeover. His two personal computers at work were seized and taken to the court appointed Information Technology people for investigation in downtown LA. And after a week, he was fired for alleged industrial espionage.

Rodney says: "I know who are making these bulls--- statements. Let's set the record straight. I was one of the guys affected in this ongoing matter. I was there April 20 when the officers hired by the courts stormed in and forced me to stand up and cease all activities on my personal machines, even confiscating them and copying my harddrive. I was persecuted due to my loyalty for someone I have a lot of respect for, Norm Wilson. I was alienated during this matter, access limited as far as administration, phone conversations eavesdropped, ultimately I was fired from Internet Fulfillment under accusations of industrial espionage. It's comical to reference my loyalty and respect as that of a yesman after all of my work getting IFC on the top of search engine rankings. If you go to Google, and search for terms like "adult shopping," IFC comes up at the top of the results. I guess that's flunky Rodney Thompson at work.

"When Norm was there, the webmasters got paid. Norm is no longer there. Are the webmasters getting paid? No. I have a store through IFC2000.com that I am shutting down because I'm not getting paid. Norm was not a catastrophe for that company, he was the life blood of that company.

"I want to extend a special thanks to Dre Love and Rene from Emit Entertainment, KB from HerbalO, Cynthia and Scott at AEBN.net the folks over at Street bucks for all of their support. I never expected all of this support. Norm and Myself are no longer with IFC, but we are moving on to bigger and better things with the new and next generation of online adult shopping called Phoenix Fulfillment."

XXX Porner says: "Why can't Norm and Gary's accusers come out and put their names on their accusations? Their allegations have no substantiation. They feel threatened by Norm's new business Phoenix Fulfillment and they're lashing out."

Brisbane's Jody Moore

Teal writes: Jody's website is here www.littlejody.com She recently ran for a seat in Queensland's State Parliament earlier this year in the district of Woodridge. The mainstream media only mentioned she was a stripper running for office.....but she does also escort. Fake boobs and was laughed at by the announcer/interviewer on ABC morning radio (well respected and experienced might I add - Andrew Carroll) after Jody couldn't answer a basic question about politics - though I can't remember it now.

Sharon Mitchell Finds God

Flarp writes: Luke, check out this week's WEEKLY WORLD NEWS-there's a full page article about Sharon Mitchell finding God. It's pretty funny, especially consider this is in the same rag with headlines like "GIANT GRASSHOPPERS ATTACK OHIO"! Maybe next they'll print pics of Ron Jeremy with the banner "BIGFOOT FOUND!!! EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS!!!!".

Helpful writes: Luke, I went to www.weeklyworldnews.com to check out the story on Sharon Mitchell, but was shocked to discover that the "Bat Boy" has escaped again and is stalking the President's daughter!!

AUSTIN, Tex. -- At age 13, the mysterious Bat Boy's hormones are apparently kicking in -- he's developed a crush on President George W. Bush's bad-girl daughter Jenna!

Campus police at the University of Texas where the 19-year-old coed is a freshman say the half-human, half-bat mutant has made repeated attempts to see the young beauty -- and pined "like a frustrated animal" when he was shooed away!

Rumdar writes: Hey, Give Jenna few margaritas and she might take The Bat Boy back to the Lincoln Bedroom.

Is Pornography Responsible For Israel's High Rate Of Car Accidents?

From the Jerusalem Report (Jrep.com):

"People watch porn movies all night, wake up for work tired and unalert, and cause serious car accidents." Knesset Member Yitzhak Vaknin of Shas, offering his theory for the accident deaths on Israeli roads.

"Maybe car accidents happen due to the night time ma'ariv prayer service. Religious people pray all night instead of sleeping, so they aren't alert in the morning." MK Yosef (Tommy) Lapid of the anti-Orthodox Shinui, in response.

Fred writes: How about the following: Israeli drivers are generally maniacs.

BTW, the Shas folks are jerks. Their nominal head (if I recall correctly, a Sephardic guy named Aryeh Deri) was outrageously corrupt in the worst tradition of third world banana republics.