Wednesday, June 13th, 2001

Jay Foreman Slate Controversy

RPM writes: "There's currently a big media story about an article that ran on Slate.com. A guy wrote a supposedly serious piece about a clearly ludicrous "sport" called monkey-fishing, and it's looking more and more like a hoax. (In fact, National Lampoon published a similar article in the '70s about dog-fishing.) The author in question is Jay Forman, who previously wrote that really wimpy piece for Slate about his lame-ass days in the porn industry. The guy sounded like a real weasel then, so it's no surprise that he could get a fake story past a weasely editor like Michael Kinsley."

Luke says: Jay Foreman wrote on Slate about his stint as a supposed editor for High Society.

Davia Ardell In Washington D.C.

Achingtobe writes on BigDoggie.net: I really wanted my first PSE to be a great experience that I could write a glowing report on. I am sorry that I have to write this.

I was very excited an honored to meet Davia Ardell (my first top drawer experience). Arrived dressed well; with a small present; made sure to be extra nice and respectful. Too bad Davia didn't return the favor.

She took several phone calls during the hour; she and her agency (Body Miracle) were clockwatchers in the extreme. One phone call 10 minutes into the hour; a second phone call 55 minutes into the hour (you go figure the timing on that one!).

At this price I thought I could be trusted to respect her time. I gave no indication that I would impose any longer. But the phone calls lasted several minutes apiece. Davia also would not turn off the television set in her small room. A major distraction to me.

Finally, Davia has little to say. I tried valiantly to engage her in conversation about her, her career, her travells, Washington DC and she did not say anything. (But she does like the word "whatever" when you ask her if she likes something). The tragedy is that this woman is beautiful with the potential for great people skills. Did I catch her on a bad day? Not with the conduct of her meddlesome agency taken into account. This seems in my opinion to be a way they do business. For conventional, averaged priced providers, that's fine.

In the end, Davia is an average (but highly limited (read some rules) experience. But that's not what they are selling here. I was quite disappointed to say the least. Davia is in DC through the end of this week (June 14); maybe your experience will be different.

Directors Commentary Audio Track

Boyg writes on RAME: I recently purchased Soporno's 2 on DVD and found the audio track featuring the director and producer [James DiGiorgio and Rob Spallone] offering their comments on the movie as its playing to be hysterical and brilliant.

Rob Spallone says: "They called us in. They wanted us watch the movie and talk about it. So they put us in this room and they put it on and the guy says, 'Listen. If you don't know what to say, we'll tell you over the headset. If you want to take a cigarette break, let us know.' About 25-40 minutes later, we go to smoke a cigarette. So I said to the guy, 'I thought you were going to tell us what to say.' He said, 'Tell you what to say? The two of you haven't shut the f--- up yet.' It's hilarious."

Converted Porn Stars

Chodemaster writes on RAME: Have there been any pornstars who have converted to Christianity or other religions and got out of the porn business? Who are they? Thanks.

Hart Williams writes on RAME: Seka converted to Cubbism and became a Chicagoan. Kimberly Carson converted to Marital Bliss and became a Mother (though the former ended, I think the latter remains); Kay Parker became New Agey; Aunt Peg/Juliet Anderson became a Holistic Masseuse-type, who has all sorts of San Francisco "PC" arguments against porn. Ron Jeremy converted raw tonnage to raw acreage, but remained in the business.

On the other hand, Donna Hughes née Rice (noted for her amateur porn exploits with then-Presidential candidate Gary Hart) is now a convert to a "decency" she never bothered with in becoming a celebrity and posing for nudie pix: protecting kids from internet porn ("Kids Online: Protecting Your Children in Cyberspace"); Miki Garcia (PB Centerfold and for a while Playmate Coordinator) became an anti-porn crusader (religion unknown, but Catholic is a safe bet) and testified before the Meese Commission on how terrible it was to have staples through one's mid-section. Or, Jill de Vries, a popular 1975 PB centerfold, who "got religion," got married, and still lives in Chicago, mightily eschewing her past -- according to an acquaintence of mine who makes a living selling autographed Playmate memorabilia.

"Linda Syndrome" is a very comforting way to ease back into the Mainstream -- you can do quite well (and, importantly, remain a celebrity) by going on the Sawdust Circuit and telling everyone what a SINNER you were, and how JEEEE-zis saved you from drugs/prostitution/porn/whatever. One need only think of Nicky Cruz (ex-gang member) who used to tour the world with Billy Graham and David Wilkerson (among others), or the ex-New Christy Minstrel who wrote "Eve of Destruction" and used to tour churches touting the "satanic" nature of Rock 'n Roll.

Football players do it a lot, as well. Suddenly, after years of wild sex, outrageous drugs, and an astonishing level of General Debach, they retire, become paragons of virtue, testify in churches, and open automobile dealerships. The point is that people who went looking for cheap fame tend to gravitate back to cheap fame if only they can get away with it.

Tracy Lords and Linda Lovelace are only the tip of the iceberg. If Linda were truly "repentent" she'd keep her big mouth shut. (Pun intended.) And Tracy L. would manage to dress a bit more demurely, even if she refuses to show any skin that has aureole or pubic hair attached (all else seems game).

Most people who would like to be admired would prefer to dispense with the onus of actually having to do something admirable. For folk from porn, the revival tent is another stage, often enough, that lets them be admired for being bad, *and* for being "good."

Curious writes: Are you sure about Aunt Peg? Go to www.auntpeg.com and you will find her hustling her latest video, "Ageless Desire."

The Nameless Horror writes on RAME: What does Christianity teach about personal responsibility? Certainly, it does teach that we should do good things, not bad things. And we should admit the bad things we've done honestly.

But, in many of its traditional forms, it also teaches that we are wretched creatures, who can only manage to do anything good if we accept God's Holy Spirit to help us. And it notes that Satan is often responsible for placing temptations in our paths.

I cannot say if she has gone to the length of bearing false witness against the porn industry, but it's not surprising that many Christians of a certain type would want to shut it down. After all, it is sinful from beginning to end from their viewpoint. It is sinful to buy and watch things that promote lust. It is sinful to provoke lust in others. It is sinful to engage in intercourse outside of marriage. So if nearly every American shared their values, America's porn industry would presumably be like Iran's or Saudi Arabia's.

Enough people in America do share these values, at least in part, that almost no politician would publicly admit to wanting the porn industry to continue to exist, any more than he would say in public that he would want more people to be killed by drunk drivers. This can, and has, been exploited to get legislators to vote for measures that the majority of Americans would never support, and it is an immense obstacle to getting laws from a bygone era off the books. This is why legislation by Supreme Court isn't always unwelcome; take "Griswold vs Connecticut", which legalized contraception.

Luke Gets Mail

Tina Cheri writes: Hey Luke, I read that Rod Fontana did not have a good time on the Mancow show. I can't understand that because Rod is a really sweet guy, I have been to chicago twice and on both occasions Mancow and his staff really went out of there way to make my stay in Chicago enjoyable.

Joe writes: i read your post yesterday about your meeting with logan.I could not believe my eyes when i saw those pictures of her compared to your earlier ones.she looks like everymans dream she looks like she could be an executive in a big coorporation.very well dressed (conservative) and her looks would make any male turn his head twice.you would never guess she was a porn star.just go to show you cant judge a book by its cover.i write this with all do respect to her sometimes you see these girls and they always look beautiful but trashy maybe logan can add some real class to this degrading industry.if she has a website please let me know i would like to express my views to her also

OM writes Luke: ...Topic came up recently on one of the usenet newsgroups that oddly enough wasn't porn related: What *really* happened to Tawny Pearl/Sue Pearlman? General concensus was that one of the following was what happened, based on the stories told over the years:

1) Decided to quit being the definitive hippychick f--- machine and settled down to raise 3.5 kids in tedium, hopefully not in a trailer park.

2) Died of a drug overdose taken while simply having fun like most hippychicks - and not those necessarily in porn - from that era tended to do.

3) Became a high-priced LA callgirl and either

a) Died of a drug OD as in 2) above

b) Was killed by a john

c) Was killed by her pimp

d) Was incarcerated for several years for her whoring, and disappeared into obscurity afterwards

e) Now lives in a trailer park with 3.5 kids of mixed race *and* parentage

4) Died of AIDS sometime around 1985, contracted either by needle or sex, and denied proper burial by her rabbi because she was a porn slut heathen who screwed gentiles.

...Now, as to how this came up on a non-adult group, these comic book geeks on rec.arts.comics.* were discussing whether or not comic book geeks *can* get girls that look worth a s--- without them being blind or the geek having to pay for it. One in particular claimed his girl was a dead ringer for Tawny Pearl, and from there the thread went into "Whatever happened to..."

...There's another two that come to mind that your porn star list doesn't cover : Linda McDowell (the first chick I can remember taking John Holmes up her ass and -smiling- all the way through) and Victoria - last name uncertain, but I've heard "Winters" being battered around on occasion. The latter chick was in a _LOT_ of SE loops with John Holmes, almost as much as Connie Petersen (*). A brunette with really great tits, the one loop that keeps coming to mind is the one where she and Holmes did it in one of those 60's style wire-and-canvas chairs - you know, the ones that look like a giant paper clip sculpture?

...In any case, keep up the good work on the site. As a former journalist myself, I know the value of keeping the s--- stirred up. It keeps both sides of the issues from being complacent and up on their toes :-)

Who Wants To Marry A Whore?

Luke thinks: "I'm transcribing my Dennis Hof interview and wondering, perhaps f---ing whores in brothels is a great way to meet your future wife. Perhaps we're going about this all wrong?"

Fred writes: "I have at least one friend who married a former Mustang Ranch prostitute. The relationship seemed to work. I'll say a few things-- 1. there will probably be fewer pretenses at the outset of the relationship. 2. you'll know fairly early on whether your sexually compatible 3. I don't imagine it will be difficult to discuss sex-related issues as the marriage goes on. 4. It will probably be pretty easy to discuss finance-related issues. Why don't you see what your friends Ruby or Kendra think?"

Chaim Amalek writes: I'll say a few things-- (what sort of man was this, the guy who married the hooker? An engineer?)

1. Hookers are, for the most part, nuts. And morbidly diseased.
2. Sexual compatability is easy to determine - no need to marry a hooker.
3. It is easy to talk about sex.
4. It is difficult to introduce a whore to one's friends under any circumstances, let alone introduce her as one's wife. (Talk about loss of face!) }
5. Would you want your daughters (or sons) raised by a whore?

Fred, you have spent too many years living amongst the geek (male) engineers of silicon valley, practicing geek-law (you are a patent lawyer, right?). You ought to move to Los Angeles, where you can pal around with Luke, or at least move to San Francisco, where many of the men manage to have relationships with women who are not hookers or strippers. The demographic/nerd catastrophe that is Silicon Valley is affecting your judgement.

First, some definitions: Whore: a woman who has sex for money. Pornstar: an especially immodest type of whore who has sex for money while the camera is rolling. Some whores are modest enough NOT to have sex for money while the camera is rolling. Ergo, all porn "stars" are whores, but not all whores are porn stars. QED

Now, let us contemplate the fate that befell Lionel Hutz, Troy McLure, and countless other characters and hear nothing more about whores as decent wives.

Luke asks: Who are Lionel Hutz, Troy McLure, etc?

Chaim replies: Oy, or as you Aussies say, Oi. These were characters on The Simpsons voiced by the great comedic actor Phil Hartman of Saturday Night Live and other shows who was married to a woman alleged to have been a hooker prior to sinking her teeth into him. She killed him - the whore blew his brains out - before killing herself. Yes, their kids were at home when this crazy bitch did this. His death dimished the lives of all who watch the Simpson. Lesson here: NEVER take a whore for a wife, unless maybe you are 90. but even then, they are cheaper to rent out than to marry.

Luke says: See the story of pornographer Norman Arno:

Arno, a huge coke user like Harold Lime, rarely bathed. Hookers usually charged him three times as much as other customers because he was so vicious and filthy. During a week in Honolulu, Norm met a rare prostitute returned to him the next day. And the next. He decided it was love. They married.

In the early 1990s, Norm's whore-wife placed their two young children in a running car in the garage to die from exhaust fumes. Arno never recovered from their death and his wife's conviction and incarceration. The founder of porn's first major adult video company, VCX, died in November of 1994 after a long illness.

Rumdar writes: "One hears stories about Thai errr! working girls. Some shlunk (like me perhaps) really believes the rap that he looks like a movie star, that his dick is the biggest and best. that the girl is hopelessly in love with him, that she "rove him rong time"...He marries her and brings her back to Stuttgart, London, Wisconsin, whatever. Three or four months later she disappears. More often than not she returns to Thailand. To the same establishment where they met. What happened? She was lonely and missed her friends. She didn't want to be a housewife in Queens. She didn't speak the language and life in Corona is boring. I think it is bad business to marry a hooker. Which doesn't mean I wouldn't do it. I am just as susceptible to making a huge mistake as the next guy."

">Sexual compatibility is easy to determine - no need to marry a hooker.> I may have to disagree with this statement somewhat. I know of a few cases where "sexual compatibility" went down the drain soon after the groom uttered those dreadful words "I DO." One good buddy was assured by his intended bride that she loved to suck his dick. I mean was born to give head. Soon after the honeymoon she announced oral sex made her mouth tired and she wasn't doing it anymore. I believe nothing kills a great sexual relationship like marriage. It might be OK for a while but give it a year or so and sex turns into an aerobic exercise."

A Good Wife Has a Value Above Rubies, A Whore can be Bought for Rubies

Sin City director Michael Raven writes Chaim Amalek: "Just curious where a "HOUSEWIFE" would fit into your definitions. Considering that part of her "duties" would be to provide sexual favors for her Husband in exchange for room and board, a housewife also fits your criteria. Furthermore, what does that make a man that has a housewife? Surely not a whoremonger! Grow up people, we ALL trade "something" for sexual gratification and find ways to fulfill our desires. Whether a man or woman chooses to fulfill those desire within the "bonds" of matrimony or not is completely irrelevant. That a housewife is married doesn't eliminate the FACT that she is still trading sex for something else of value, hence "whoring" herself out as you would call it."

Chaim Amalek replies: "Call me Republican, but in almost every instance (and yes, the one woman who is an exception is pretty much a whore by any other name), the wives I know honestly love their husbands, and stick by them through thick and thin. Whores don't stand by their johns that way, now do they? Also, these good wives limit their sexual contacts to their husbands (again, with a few exceptions whom I hold in low regard) and form strong family units in which they raise their kids. No, a whore is a whore, and a good wife is not a whore."

MHJ writes: Marrying a whore (or a "former escort," as the case may be) is not a good idea, I promise you. I know of what I speak. 'Nuf sed.

What's Up With Mila Shegol? l-keford.com Contradicts Itself

Shab writes: Hello Luke: Your column contradicts itself....Dennis Hof says that Mila married a multimillionaire and from an earlier column to a jockey based in Ohio. In the next paragraph she is working at her old 9-5 job...What is the real story????? Tell us the real scoop Luke!!!!!I know if I married someone with that much money would I be going back to my old job!!! NOT. If Mila was working for the ranch for six months she should have a couple of million stashed away!!!

Gilles writes: Well....reading the Mila and Mila's mom message makes you think you can't beleive a word of what Dennis Hof told you in your interview.

Porn Girl Pay

Jessica Monroe, Vice President of Digitalgirlz.com, writes: Dear Luke, I've been fan of your site on and off over the past year, starting from when I got "into" the industry of sorts. I was curious as to how much porn actresses make on average per scene. I'm not talking about the big names, nor am I talking about the first time actresses. Just the average girl. I've seen numbers varying from $300 to close to $1000/scene. If it's closer to $300/scene, I'm curious as to why these girls wouldn't just pose for a web site where they would only be posing by themselves for the most part. We pay $100/hour, but my point is that we aren't paying a huge amount. What we pay is pretty much what every other adult site pays (although we do offer a minimum of a $1000 contract). Is it simply that working in video could end up paying off bigger in the long run?

Luke says: The standard rate for a boy-girl scene is $800 for the girl.

Brian Kushner writes: Luke: I thought that most of these porn chicks do the films so it will raise their level of income on the dance circuit?

Where The Boys Aren't 14

Chi Chi LaRue, homosexual porner and cross dresser, directs this new lesbian movie for Vivid Video. Today he oversaw a nine-girl orgy at a leather bar "The Faultline" on Melrose and Vermont near downtown Los Angeles.

XXX says: "He's a great director, so effusive and spontaneous. He'll go, 'Come on Raylene, lick that pussy. I want some hardcore pussy action. Now move your hair out of the way and stick your finger in.' I'm used to sets where the directors are cool and uninterested in the sex. They let the DP shoot it. But Chi Chi was totally into it."

The girls included Jenna Jameson, and Chelsea Sinclaire, the new black Vivid girl. Chelsea's from Yorkshire, England. Cassidy didn't show up today. Girls who did included Taylor Hayes, Cheyenne Silver,

A ton of press were on hand including Tony English shooting her behind the scenes footage. Brad Hirsch, Steve's little brother, arranged the publicity (as the swanky New York firm Vivid hired about a year ago can't hack it). Fox magazine didn't show up. They're sick of writing about Vivid.

Jason Sechrest from JasonCurious.com writes: Lucas! How art thou? Yes, I too am delightfully guilty of being on the set of "Where the Boys Aren't 14" this Monday and Tuesday. You can read up on all the sordid details and catch some incredibly hot photos taken by photog Scott Wallach in the Holiday 2001 issue of Club magazine! Jenna, the star of WTBA14, is actually exclusive with Club so you can catch her in the pub de la pulchritude monthly. She's so f---ing hot. In fact, not only is she so f---ing hot, but she is not at all the diva certain media members have painted her to be. She was on time if not early to the set both days, she waited patiently for her scenes, she was accomodating to the other girls and all members of the press. I was genuinely impressed by our crowned princess of porn, who I had met previously, but had not bonded with until now. Ah, but enough about all that. For the real story, the down and dirty -- pick up the Holiday ish of Club!

On another note, I have to agree with XXX's comments on our Miss Chi Chi. I had not seen the fabu-LaRue at work until now and I swear to God it's like watching Suze Randall on acid. The filthiest s--- comes out of that man's mouth and I've never seen anyone say it with more love than he! The passion that exuded from him was contagious to every girl on camera which made for some of the hottest girl/girl scenes I've seen to date. If this is what he's like on an all-girl set, I can not wait to see him when he's directing the gender of his sexual preference! (And for those who think gay men don't know what a straight men want, just wait till you see WTBA14! *evil laugh*)

As for your own commentary on the Vivid publicity department, I have nothing but good things to say about new PR stud Brad Hirsch. Both he and his sister Marci were very helpful and I hope that the two of them really take it upon themselves to do something a little more positive about public relations at Vivid. As a prominent print and broadcast journalist in this industry, I haven't heard word one from Vivid regarding their girls since the incomparable Brian Gross left and therefore have not promoted them for almost a year until now. There's obviously no one else like Brian when it comes to PR in adult! I so don't know what they were thinking there. But hey, all's well that ends well! Brian's got his own bitchin company and Brad's cute as hell and showing promise for Vivid's end. So who's complaining?

For the record, WTBA14 film stars Jenna Jameson and Chelsea. Co-starring Cheyenne, Dasha, Dayton, Kira, Briana Banks, Taylor, and Raylene. "Where the Boys Aren't 15" starring all of the above plus Cassidy will also be directed by Chi Chi LaRue and is set to shoot Wednesday and Thursday. I, however, am off to Malibu with photog Jack Rivera to do yet another Club on-set, this time for Pleasure Productions new contract girl Celeste Crawford. For more news on the adult world, plus exclusive video interviews, on-set reports, and more stay tuned to www.jasoncurious.com. Ciao!

Linda Thoren Update

She's retired and no longer updates her site. I hear she sits at home, doesn't even use a computer, and puts on weight.

Australian Porn Mafia Update

Jon writes: "luke just thought you would be interested in some news from the guys down there in australia. turns out that greg lasrado has charges of extortion against Guiseppe Nirta. story lasrado tells is that nirta sent some guys up to get some money out of him, and that they held a gun to his head for a better effect. a number of previous associates have been called up to tell their sides of the stories which tells a tale of purgery bribes and lies on lasrados part."

Greg Lasrado responds: "luke that is correct, although there are no charges and there where no guns. just some dickhead trying to lay claim to part of my business. he was the WTFRC guy and did not take the fall. I was the one who put my hand up and answered all the questions to the FTC as i recieved the traffic at the time. no biggie really. although i guess someone has got it in for me if they are sending you this kind of s---. As i say get in line take a number."

Luke says: For background on this, put "Guiseppe Nirta" into the Yahoo.com search engine.

Lynne L-patin Suffers For Your Sins

Lynne L-patin: And this is where the ethical/moral questions are...I don't think "Mila," just to use a topical example, has these problems
Lynne L-patin: Does that mean G-d loves her more than he does me?
Lynne L-patin: Or that our culture values her more than they do me?
Lynne L-patin: I could take drugs, get back down to 95 lbs, do the Bunny Ranch and have enough money in two years to go to vet school...
Lynne L-patin: What is more degrading? Wearing used clothes, taking the bus, going bankrupt, driving a 25 year old rust-coverd car (when it works) OR making porn? Especially since absolutely no one actually cares about me as an individual.... This is our ethical question.
Lynne L-patin: It occurs to me, that perhaps I'm going through this travail as a learning experience for YOU.

Lynne L-patin: Because...I have a college degree...I'm a smart girl. What I don't have, like most porn girls, is a supportive family. And if girls aren't sex workers, the life I am now living might be the life they would live, at best.

Luzdedos1: what role have you played in your own problems? Any?
Lynne L-patin: Yes...the role I played in this problem was that I QUIT PORN.

Lynne L-patin: These days I think being bankrupt is as much a detriment to a woman as being a whore, as far as being evaluated as a marriage partner would be, BUT...being bankrupt can, with time, be reversed. Being a whore will be in one's past forever.

Gene Ross Nominates Samantha Sterlyng For Best Actress

Samantha Sterlyng tells GeneRossExtreme.com: "I was going to drink it but when I saw Shagwell drinking it and making this weird face, I'm like, oh my God. That really is pee and they tricked me. I'm glad I didn't scoop up a mouthful because if nobody was going down for it, I was going to go down for a mouthful and spit it at them. Then when Shagwell said it tasted weird, I thought they really put pee in there. Then, later I pee'd in Shagwell's ass. That was the highlight. I pee'd for about a minute and a half. Rod was f---ing her in the ass and did a gape on her. I thought why not pee in her gapey then have her squirt it out of her ass into Rod's mouth. So I did. It was so crazy. I've never done anything like that before."

Johnny Castano Reaches Out To His Friend Ed Powers

Longtime photographer Johnny Castano says he sent Joey Silvera a beautiful asian girl Giselle from Alaska who has a beautiful model webmaster boyfriend. Joey used her and paid her well, the most he ever paid for any girl. That's how good she is. Then Johnny called Ed Powers to say he was sending him a beautiful oriental girl. Then Ed Powers got mad and said he would not talk to Johnny Castano because Castano sent the girl first to Joey Silvera. Johnny Castano feels very bad because he thought Ed Powers was his friend and would not get mad at him for this.

Hot New Heather Barron Photos

Heather Barron writes: Dear Luke, I had a really nice talk today with a guy from NY who works in the culinary field who found my site via l-keford.com a few months ago. He called me just when I was putting up my latest collection of "College Days" sexy schoolgirl shots. He said he would have never found me if it wasn't for your site. I look forward to meeting Issac in July when will be doing privates in NYC and taking a bite out of the Big Apple. I'm sending you a sample from my site's (www.HeatherBarronXXX.com) June Member's Gallery. Luke F-rd remains one of the most entertaining venues on the internet. Keep up the hard work. You must never sleep but trust we are appreciating all the journalistic research and the risks that you take to bring us the f---ing news.

Heather Heather2 Heather3 Heather4

Questions For Madelyn Night

I'm exchanging email with porn star Madelyn Night. Let me know if you have questions for her.

Madelyn writes: "If anyone would like to ask me a question they can email me at madlynk@aol.com and i will respond,that would be the only way to get a hold of me."

Ron Jeremy's S-M Sideshow

From the VillageVoice.com: 'RON JEREMY'S S&M SIDESHOW' How fitting is it in the age of MTV Undressed and virginal teen sex icons that Ron Jeremy‹a hairy little man with a woolly mustache, an enormous penis, and a heart of gold‹is a warm reminder of adolescence for many children of the '80s? For young adults who were exposed to XXX videos during parentless afternoons of doobage and poolside dares, porn culture is as Americana as Christmas‹with Jeremy as our Santa Claus of the Valley. His "S&M Sideshow" is an evening of dirty-minded fun, mixed with comedy, girls, and games like "Spit or Swallow" and "Cherry Pie." XPW Wrestling star Ryan Andrews and SCREW editor Al Goldstein guest star, while DJ Deep Throat and old-school club kid Richie Rich provide the soundtrack. FRIDAY AND SATURDAY AT 10, Studio 54, 254 West 54th Street, 307-7171.

Old Kid Vegas Had A Farm

Kid Vegas writes: Dear Luke, I have just returned, & brought back several pics from my Safari in Africa. I have heard that the Kid's influences throughout the native country, working with farm animals in my latest mastered, dolby sound, epic, OLD KID VEGAS HAD A FARM was a big hit there. It was a training video for all farmers, & animal trainers around the globe. So get out of your car on the side of the road grab the phone & call Legend Video for your copy today 818-734-4200 or be stunned with a tasar right in the neck bitch...If you distributors do not get your copys, needy african people may riot savagely in your own neighborhoods, because of your lack of Gen-X farming movies.This is a loveable caring instructional, post nuclear video, that teaches you the steps of making the free people, free at last..Jim Gunn I urge you to add this one to your home collection. Peace out, & watch for moving cars in tunnels of fear. Blink diddy doo dah day, hurr-hay, jimmy georgia may...

Kid Vegas Kid Vegas2

Holy Hell - Gene Ross Bites Back

I thought AVN had silenced Gene Ross from any more attacks on AVN and its publisher Paul Fishbein but today on GeneRossExtreme.com, Gene returns with gossip about Fishbein.

Rob Spallone says: "I met with Russ Hampshire yesterday. He was fine with me. I was with my wife and kids."

Moonlight Bunny Ranch Interview

I did a terrific 45-minute interview Tuesday morning with Moonlight Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof. I was impressed with how honest, forthright and professional he seemed. No wonder he gets so much publicity. The media love people who come across as candid.

Dennis and I began by discussing this email from Chaim Amalek: "Well, my question is most appropriate, given the politically charged fat=lesbian=feminist debate that you have been sponsoring on your web site. Where does he get off refusing me service just because I am a bit heavier than average? I was there not too long ago, and not a single one of the sexually desirable women who work there (the skanks don't count) would have sex with me, even though I offered to pay them in U.S. currency. I was not born yesterday - I know antisemitism when I smell it, and he will be hearing both from my attorneys and from the AntiDefamation League soon enough!!!!!!!"

Hof thought it was from Al Goldstein but I explained that Chaim Amalek is a fictional character who exists only on l-keford.com.

Dennis: "I guess if it was Al, it would've said cigar smoking decadent...instead of just a fat Jew."

Luke: "Yes, Chaim Amalek is a mythical character who doesn't exist outside my web site. He supposedly weighs 450 pounds and complains that no women will have sex with him."

Dennis: "Well, if fat Al Goldstein with his cigar can get laid there, anybody can. Al comes out whenever he's on the West Coast, depending on what we have going on. And depends on who he's mad at - me or Larry Flynt or whoever... He'll hate us one day and send apology letters the next.

"He wanted me to do a deal in Saint Martens [in the Caribbean] with this brothel thing. I took a look at it and it was a loser. There was no way to make it work. And the people involved in it were criminals out of New York. Who knows how connected they were. They were run out of New York for book making. And I didn't want to have anything to do with it, so Al got mad at me. He hated me for a month and then he sent me apology letters. 'I love you more than life.'

"Most recently he hates Larry Flynt because Larry wouldn't buy Screw for some exorbitant price."

Luke: "He loves to feud."

Dennis: "One of his dear friends, New York publisher Lyle Stuart, told him recently, 'Al, make sure you have six of your friends for pall bearers. You're getting close. Make sure you haven't pissed off everybody."

Chaim Amalek writes Luke: "First of all, how dare you deny my humanity by asserting that I do not exist? Why is Luke F-rd always trying to start a pissing match by denying other people's humanity, anyway? Second, didn't it give you the willies that XXX CLEARLY is a transgendered person? Not that there is anything wrong with that, but unless you can tell me you deployed the speculum you keep in the fridge and determined otherwise, that is what you and I must assume. And to think that I got a woody just sitting next to her in my apartment!

"I read it, and you wimped out by telling him that I do not exist, when you, more so than any other person on earth, know otherwise. You should have countered with the truth - that while my inertial twin Alvin Goldstein can get laid there, it is ONLY because he is a famous jew pornographer capable of bestowing lots of good PR on them, while I am but a very poor rotund jew not in that position. Remember, even our Dear Friend Ruby turned me down - IN PUBLIC - on your internet show a few months back! And when I showed up in person, they all did. To my face! The ADL will soon hear of this, as shall my lawyers. (And United Airlines wants to know why I soiled my seat on my return flight! What can I say, expect that it was a bumpy flight, and more satifying than my trip to that goyishe brothel.)

"This sad story is why I am counting on you to use your connections with Jewish pimps everywhere to help me out before I top 500 pounds. Yes, I attempt to smother my sorrows in the aisles of Zabars. (Which very shortly I will be so large as to be unable to traverse, thanks to all the heartless goyishe whores in the world.)"

Luke to Dennis Hof: "I'm a friend of Ruby who speaks highly of you."

Dennis: "Ruby makes tons of money. This whole thing has really changed her life. The Bunny Ranch supplies to the industry an alternative. When it is all caught up with the Czechoslovakian and the Lithuanian girls, you give them a place to go... It means the girls don't have to do every double anal scene that comes down the pike for $700. It gives them a choice. Ruby has money, so she's more selective about what she does now. She's doing her own films. Other girls are doing the same thing.

"The most interesting thing lately is Mila. She's marrying a trick. Is this the Pretty Woman [referring to the early '90s movie starring Julia Roberts] deal or what? I think our ads in AVN should read, 'Want to marry a multimillionaire? Get out of LA and be a working girl at the Bunny Ranch.' Because she scored a big money guy. This guy was coming in and dropping ten, twenty thousand a whack on her. And now she's marrying him."

Luke: "Have you known this to happen with any of your other girls?"

Dennis: "Yeah. Three or four girls a year. This happens to be a real heavyweight. Another girl six months ago caught a multi-millionaire too. When you come in to the Bunny Ranch and drop $20,000 to party, you're a money guy. Mila sets this guy up perfect and she owns him now."

Luke: "And Mila and this guy are truly getting married? Because Brad at Danger Boy Video says that's bogus."

Dennis: "Yes they're getting married. I saw one guy... He comes in, f---s this girl. Went to the bar and started drinking cocktails. She sits and talks to him. Two hours later, they go back to the room and f--- again. And she comes out and says, 'I'm going to be leaving. We're going to get married.' And they went down with a bunch of the girls as witnesses and got married. This happened two or three years ago and they're still together."

Dennis reads the wedding invitation he received from Mila: "Congratulations are in order from Hof's favorite bunny girl - Mila, Queen of Nasty, got hitched May 31st. Her bunny tail is officially retired. She married her favorite customer from the ranch.'

"The groom's name is Kevin Radtke... His address is Thistledown Race Club, 21501 Emery Rd, North Randall, Ohio, 44128.

"I've got to call Jimmy and Larry [Flynt]. They probably know who this jockey is. This is going to be a heartbreaker for Goldstein because he asked her to marry him. She's Jewish and so she can relate to Al real well. And of course the sex is great because she's a nasty little ho.

"Mila is an interesting girl. She's so soft-spoken and sweet. Then you turn the camera on her and she turns into the nastiest slut I've ever seen in my life. I was in New York with her for a couple of days. Whew, what a handful. Howard Stern didn't know what to do with her. His deal is the shock - are you into anal, black guys... Will you do girl-girl? And when he finds something that you're not comfortable with, he beats you up about it. For Mila, anal, of course. Three or four guys. Black sex? No problem. I'll do a black gangbang. Nothing fazes her.

"We've committed to doing a bimonthly magazine Bordello Confidential. We printed up 50,000 copies of our first issue and sold out. It's an AVN type quality magazine all about working girls. No fluff in it. No ringers. We're negotiating with Curtis, the guys who distribute Larry's magazines [like Hustler]. I talked to Heidi Fleiss a couple of nights ago. She said, 'Dennis, if you want to go big on this thing, get me involved. Let's rock.' She's sitting at home with an ankle bracelet on, hanging out because she can't go anywhere."

Luke: "Do you have to deal with organized crime?"

Dennis: "Never. Not one time. It's just amazing, isn't it? You'd think that an all-cash business like mine... What a way to launder money. If I wanted to, I'd put ten, twenty million through there. It would be no problem at all. The first year I bought the place [Moonlight Bunny Ranch], I had an old Nevada broker, a 70-year old gentleman come in. He had a buyer who wanted to give me a million dollar's profit on it.

"They brought in this guy and all of a sudden the black limos started showing up. I was told that it was [New] Jersey guys and I just told them to go away and that was it. And they didn't try to squeeze me or anything. They just wanted to buy the place. That was eight years ago and I've never had anybody... Al admits to doing business with them, DiBi [Robert DiBernardo] and all that... I've had no involvement at all. They've not tried to loan me money, they've not tried to squeeze me. And if they did, I socialize with the FBI and IRS criminal investigation guys. I'm so squeaky clean. I'm like the boy scout of this industry. I'd just make a couple of phone calls and that would be the end of it."

Luke: "Has the downturn in the economy affected your business?"

Dennis: "Not at all. I'm looking at the front page of the [local] paper and it talks about gaming being up in Carson City. In times of recession, our business and the gaming business skyrocket. We've had 163 porn girls and most all of them have come back many times. And they've all been able to achieve their goals and make the money they want without any heat or problems. In fact, Sunset Thomas is coming back as soon as she has her baby. She made $50,000 a week here.

"We keep track of how many porn girls come through...but many of them we can't advertise because they don't want their mothers or the hypocrite porn producers to know that they are there... So, the big name porn stars are there at the Bunny Ranch but it's not public. If you're not coming in, you're not going to know. Some big name girls who want to keep their life private. They've got kids and this and that..."

Luke: "Certain segments of the porn industry must hate you for demystifying the allure of porn stars."

Dennis: "The guys at the lower end of the totem pole hate me because they do not understand. What we all want is more girls in the sex industry. Whether they're working for Harry Mohney at Deja Vu [strip club chain] or for Larry [Flynt] in movies, or for Vivid in movies, or for me, because it just brings more quality girls... I bring girls into the industry that have never been in the industry. Brand new girls with fresh faces. Beautiful girls. And then they do porn and other things. The growth of the sex industry is huge and I'm a part of it.

"I hear from the girls once in a while that 'This guy told me that if I did this, that I wouldn't get a contract. Or I wouldn't get work.' And all it is is some guy wanting to control her so that she'll do some double penetration anal scene for $400 whenever he wants. It's a terrible way of trying to control these girls. I give them all the freedom they want. I support them. If you want to do movies, great. We'll call up different people. Here is who I think you'd be good with.

"Then you go to the top of the same company... This Bridgett Kerkove. She's an example. She wanted to come up. She said, 'Advertise it and do everything.' Because it takes a couple of months in advance to get this stuff going. Then, when it came out, she called freaking out. 'You're not supposed to advertise it.' Excuse me, you told us to advertise it. You're coming up on these dates. Now, she thought that Jim Holliday told her that she was going to get a contract with VCA and she wouldn't get that if she was working at the Bunny Ranch.

"So I call up Russ [Hampshire] and Veronica Hart and say, 'Is this a problem?' And they say, 'Absolutely not.' What they do say, and Steve Hirsch said the same thing, we don't think it is right for them to do that at the Bunny Ranch. They don't think it is right for them to do a lot of other things too. But interesting enough, this Bridgett never got a contract. Imagine that. She's an asshole and that's why. The same reason that Mark Carriere bought her tits and doesn't talk to her anymore. She's an off the wall girl.

"But girls like Sunset Thomas, when people say, 'Well, you won't do this now...' She does all the work she wants. If a girl's good, she's good. These guys want to control these girls but they don't want to give them the work. They're not loyal to these girls. Do you think that if the triplets from Czechoslovakia who are 19 years old and so fine it scares you to death, if they come in, that they're going to be loyal to this Kerkove girl or any girl? Of course not. The Bunny Ranch provides an alternative.

"I don't like what some of these producers say but I'm over it now. And the girls realize that it is a control technique and they're just trying to control their lives. Bill Margold does the same thing. He says he's not for it [prostitution], dadadadda. He needs to shut the f--- up.

"The women's rights organizations, which have much more credibility in my mind than Bill Margold, say, when they're polled, that the Bunny Ranch is a choice, a legal business in Nevada. We know Dennis and he supports our issues. He's a good guy. Is it a choice for you? We don't know. That's for you to decide. But we will tell you that if anybody comes after Dennis to close his business, we'll come after them. And that's a more intelligent approach."

Luke: "Did you start the Bunny Ranch?"

Dennis: "No, it was started in 1955. I bought it in 1992 and I brought it into the forefront. Prostitution was always kept quiet. And about eight years ago, I was with Larry [Flynt] and Al [Goldstein] at Spagos in LA, and I was telling them that John Stossell from 20-20 wanted to come in and do something on me. And I didn't know if I wanted to do it. I had my straight business in San Diego.

"And they both said simultaneously, don't be an asshole. If you believe in what you're doing, put your chest out. You may take a few hits but you'll have the media's attention and you'll be a cult hero like we intend to be 25 years from now.

"And it's worked out that way. I have national notoriety. I can walk into places all over the country and they know who I am. I get invited to every cool function there is. And I've had nobody take any hard hits. Even a right wing Christian woman against the business, all I have to do is say, 'Mam, I didn't invent this. I'm working within a legal system. And here are your choices - hardcore pimps taking ethnic underage girls out of the projects and putting them on the streets, filling them full of methamphetamine and teaching them to steal credit cards. Sexually transmitted diseases because they're never checked. And total exploitation. Money going into an underground society.

"Or you do it my way. I've been through an FBI check with a yearly update. And if I got caught smoking a joint, as a misdemeanor, I would lose my license [to operate a brothel]. The girls have weekly health checks. They pay taxes. There's no exploitation. They don't need pimps.

"I'm not a square. I go to Amsterdam for high times with Al [Goldstein]. I took Joey Buttafucco last year. Just not in our business. In Nevada you can gamble and drink 24 hours a day and in certain places you can sell sex 24 hours a day. They don't want drugs, including marijuana.

"Is there marijuana in the house? Of course. Every workplace in America has it. But if we see any effects of it or have any idea of what's going on, the girls will go. We never veer on that subject. Would I like the law to be changed? Yes. But until it is, I have to go by the guidelines of the state. I'm tough on it. They know - don't f--- with me on this issue. We tell them - don't do it in Nevada. You want to hang out and get high - go to South Lake Tahoe. It's 30 minutes away. You're in California. If you get busted, they're going to slap your hand. If you get busted in Nevada for a joint, it's a felony. Don't take the choice."

Luke: "What sort of issues do you typically have with the girls?"

Dennis: "The only real common problem is motivation. If you get a little porn chick coming up and she's used to making four or five thousand dollars a month, then, that's all they want to make. We have to sit them down and say, 'Excuse me. You can make $40,000 a month.' Mila did that consistently for the past two years. Big, big money.

"So you have to sit them down and say, 'Hey, what are your goals? Why are you here? Why don't you buy your parents a house? Why don't you have a stock portfolio? Don't you want a new car? Get them into thinking bigger so they're motivated to make more money. That eye of the tiger. That's what makes a deal work - wanting the money. That's our only problem.

"Are there any fights? Never. Do all the girls like each other? No. Many of them don't. But most of them get along well. All this is, in simplest form, is a high powered commission sales team. The product is sexual service.

"And when the girls are not motivated to work, we tell them to go lie on the beach in Mexico for a week or two and then come back and make some money. Or if you want to do films, great. I'll call my buddy Ron Jeremy and get them hooked up. Or Larry or Clive [McClean]. Depending on where I think the girl fits."

Luke: "Could you call any of these working girls happy and well balanced?"

Dennis: "The majority. I would say that 70% are. This isn't old school prostitution where you take a girl and lock her in a little dingy room with a candle and a mattress and make her f--- 20-30 guys a day. This is like a singles bar. We tell the girls and the customers - treat it like a singles bar. Except the odds are real good. Where we differ from anybody in the prostitution industry worldwide - if a customer comes in and has the money, you do him. And if you don't do him, you give the house the money. But we don't do that. We tell the girls - if you don't want to party with somebody, don't party with him. Stay away from him. Be nice and courteous but lie to them. Tell them that you have a regular coming in.

"And don't do any sex acts that you don't want to. The real young girls, there are certain things that they do not want to do. And half of our customers - the reason they're in there is that there wives don't want to do certain things. We just say to our girls, don't do anything you don't want to do. Anything you're not comfortable with. So, don't party with anyone you don't want to and don't party for anything that isn't worth it to you.

"Nevada prostitution is always a three week lockdown [for the working girls]. You come in, it's a three week lockdown. You can't have any money on you. You can't leave the place. You're locked down three weeks. And it is still like that. But our rule is - just don't split up a weekend. In other words, if you're coming in on a Wednesday, either leave Thursday or Sunday. Don't split a weekend up because we can't put another girl in the house. So you can stay as little as two days.

"You know Trinity? A busty big girl. She lived in Florida. She'd come in and stay until she made $10,000. The first day she grabbed a guy and $25,000. Her part was $12,500. She was on a flight the next day. Gone. Now she's moved out here. A lot of these girls have moved up here - Annie Anderson, Mila, J.R. Carrington, who we don't see much now because she latched on to a guy too, Trinity, Rayne,the tattooed porn star. Now she's in Toledo with a big UHaul moving her stuff up here. There's a whole neighborhood where they live. Then they fly out and do their feature dancing. It gives them a base to work out of and a tax free environment because there are no taxes in Nevada. And they can always make money. They know they can go down and pick up a $1000 a day without any problem at all.

"If we don't know a girl, we try to get them to stay a week to see if they have any drug, alcohol or social problems. Some girls come in to work and they're not comfortable with it. They don't like the dorm environment. And other girls love it.

"It's a profitable alternative to what is going on in the industry. You don't see these girls making a lot of money in LA anymore. It is too diluted. There are too many girls and not enough quality producers with budgets. Plus, if a girl wants her name out... How does a girl get publicity? They go on your site. They do an interview with someone else. Well, guess what? I take them on Howard Stern, on Mancow. I put them in front of TV cameras - Extra, 20-20, Court TV, you name it. I've put the porn girls on every show. And I take these girls with me.

"Like Mila. Nobody has heard much about Mila in a while. And even when she was at the top of her [porn] game, she wasn't that much of a public figure. I made her a public figure. I took her on a bunch of TV shows like Howard Stern and Rikki Lake. We had guys fly in from all over the country who saw her on Howard and wanted to party with her. So I can take a girl who's career is on a downward slide and rejuvenate it.

"We did a lot of publicity for Sunset Thomas. She told me, 'My [porn] rate went sky high when I started coming to the Bunny Ranch because you had so much stuff out there on me..."

Hoff has 40 girls working regularly at his ranch. It takes 250 to keep that many working in the house at all times, says Dennis.

Luke: "Do these girls save their money?"

Dennis: "I'm holding $80,000 of Airforce Amy's money right now. Ruby met this little girl Rebecca in Louisianna and brought her back with her. And Rebecca is going back to New Orleans for a few days and could I hold $16,000 for her. How many porn girls are walking around with $16,000?"

The Moonlight Bunny Ranch takes a 50% of the girl's action and the girl's have to pay no expenses for living and working at the Ranch. The Ranch did about six million dollars last year.

Luke: "How many customers does a typical girl do a night?"

Dennis: "It depends on the girl. Some of these girls, they call themselves 'Picky Hos.' They want certain types of guys. They want the snow boarders. Other girls are more workers and they grind it out. I guess the best answer is three to ten. The ability to be selective is what brings the beautiful young girls to the ranch, the girls who have never worked. The beautiful 18-year olds who scare you to death they're so beautiful. Because they know they don't have to do anything if they don't want to.

"I've seen girls do 40 tricks in a night. They're working hard and they want the money and they want to get out of there."

Helpful writes: Meet ten men who wished they lived closer to Dennis Hof's Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel. Click here

Luke convicted.

Amalek Helps A Jew

Luke writes: If my new shul rejects me, I will hang in there. I will try another shul, or at worst, go more often to Reform and Conservative shuls...

Chaim Amalek writes: That's the right attitude. There is no papacy in Judaism, unless you count the mini-papacies that lie at the heart of all the Chassidic sects. So if one of them turn you down, you just try another. But stick to the mitnagdim, all the chassidim are cultish. Can a jew be a scientologist? I am surfing cable and what do I see - a Bravo doc on Tom Cruise. What a puff piece (the ten minutes I shamefully watched). You see, Tom was just "too busy" to keep Mimi Rogers happy. You should get them to represent you before the bet din. You could be the only person they ever saw with his own supporting video. PS You need to spend less time on porn that sticks and more time on porn that bleeds. www.natvan.com