Sunday, April 22nd, 2001

Olivia's Worth Every Cent

Oxbow writes on BigDoggie.net: Hey...I just saw Olivia in Miami...you know there are sometimes in life when an hour is just an hour...and then there are the other times...I mean when 1 hour seems like 10...but I mean that in a totally cool way. Not a clockwatcher at ALL...and spent extra time treating me right. I would have stayed longer if I could have afforded it (tax time and all). But it was worth every single friggin' red cent (and I paid a lot of them). 5 Star Rating all the way. Could have lived without those pink hair highlights, but hey, hair grows out. If she's really retiring I'm a'gonna miss her.

Does Anita Cannibal Escort?

According to a poster on BigDoggie.net., Anita Cannibal was listed briefly on Body Miracle's site. I emailed to enquire about her, and they told me that her first tour didn't work out, but that she was a great lady. So I assume the answer to your question is yes. I'd try approaching her at the club and see what happens.

Traci Lords On E!'s True Hollywood Story Sunday 10PM

From E!: A candid examination of Lords' childhood in Ohio, her start in the adult-film industry at the age of 15 (including how she worked three years before her age was discovered), her television career on Melrose Place and Profiler and in movies such as Cry-Baby and Blade, with Wesley Snipes. The program includes interviews with Lords, her porn-star pals and the boyfriend who got her into the biz.

Kristin Kane Writes About Agent Derek King

Porn star Kristin Kane writes: Many many girls are left scarred with the experince they had of DK [Derek King]. Indiana stripper turned porn star Kristen Kane was represented by DK and didn’t get a single call or work offer. After she left him, she went to video companies herself and was given countless joboffers. She is now out of the business is says DK is the reason she resents every having to do with porn. Any other girls with horror stories of DK please Email Luke!

HI Luke I just happened to be popping around on your site and saw this in your bio section on DK the so called agent. Just wanted to let you know the whole story. I was refered to DK buy a couple of people that will remain nameless. They told me he was a really good agent. I found that to be the biggest lie I had ever heard. He did not get me one job. In fact all he tried to do was tear down my self esteme. I did not stay with him very long since I saw he was worthless.

I did get my own work before going to him and stayed busy. Then after I went back on my own got busy again. He did not try to pimp me out to anyone but then again I did not stay with him very long.

After I did a few more video's I did take time off from the industry. DK was a part of the reason but not all of the reasons. I had to decide if the good sex and money was worth dealing people like him. During the time I was off I ended up having to have a surgery which made my time away from the industry a little longer than I first anticipated.

I just came back to the industry with a different way of handling things. I began my entry by doing a video with Brooke Hunter in her Extacy series. I think I am going to enjoy my experience in the industry much better this time. But I do recomend new people in the industry to stay away from DK.

Ruby Celebrates Her Birthday

Porn star Ruby writes: Luke, Got your message and e-mail, called back, you don't have a machine. It was my birthday last night. I was extremely busy, I can barely sit in this chair. I'm closed for repairs! It's 4:50am and I had the most wonderful birthday!!! All my favorite regulars came in, I got f---ed silly, then went to Lake Tahoe for dinner, had prime rib, saw Bill Marr's show at Ceasar's. I didn't get to meet him though, he had a tough room. I came back got f---ed silly again, another favorite, and I'm getting sleepy, got to put my sore little pussy to bed now!

Helpful writes: I read of your decline of Ruby's generous offer of a Bunny Ranch tour and sample. In the interest of furthering l-keford.com's never-ending search for the truth I am willing to serve as your brothel corespondent in Northern California.

Luke says: Go for it, just so long as I don't have to foot your expenses.

Helpful writes: I have managed to secure a deal of one bj for 30 unsold copies of A History of X!

Zoe Says David Sturman Called Her Fat

Luke writes David Sturman, owner of Sin City Video: I was so sorry to see your good name slandered on GeneRossExtreme.com... But you know you can count on me to check out there allegations and give THE TRUTH a forum.

David Sturman replies: Oh, well. Thanks for being so magnanimous. I am sure you do this unselfishly. As usual, I got a kick out of Zoë's rantings. It was interesting that you picked up the story because I haven't read Ross' site for months. I have been so busy lately that it is hard to follow all the industry bulls---. The bottom line is that she blew up like a Macy's Day Parade balloon and I did tell her that to help her because I thought she would jeopardize her career. As always, I treat the contract players fairly and get dumped on. Every box cover picture of her had to be worked on for hours and her body and face were actually carved to give them a thinner look. Just another flaky porn actress I guess. All I do is spend a lot of money promoting these people who do not appreciate or understand it and end up leaving the company before they are adequately promoted so they could go out and either make a living dancing or on the internet. As I said, Oh, well.

TysonFan writes: David Sturman your films suck! No wonder why Zoe left. Your web site sucks too.

Blast From The Past - Luke Clobbered In Court By New Judge

In October, 2000, I settled a court case with an aggrieved porner rather than fight it out in court.

I wanted to fight it out, but got clobbered that Thursday afternoon in Santa Monica court, Department Q, at 1725 Main Street.

I wanted to describe what happened on this site but my attorneys forbade me. Instead, we all decided to settle the case.

But now I can tell part of the story. I am still limited by an agreement in the settlement that I would not write about certain persons.

I had a new judge in the case - Stanley Weisberg, who has a reputation for despising the media.

Judge Weisberg kicked my butt. He ordered that I reveal my source (impossible). He doesn't have the authority to do that.

I faced prison.

Judge Weisberg imposed monetary sanctions of $1590 against me for not revealing my source (to reimburse the plaintiff's attorney for his time in drafting the sanctions motion).

Judge Weisberg issued an "issues sanction" against me, finding that because I would not reveal my source, I acted in malice in publishing XXX.

That ruling cut the legs out from under my defense, gave my libel insurance the opportunity to drop out of the case and left me open to punitive damages.

Jeez, Israel sounds increasingly inviting. I'm so tired of writing about this tawdry temporal matters and would much rather devote myself to the study of sacred text.

Finally, the judge found that I had violated the protective order by publishing an article back in September... So I will have to show up to court in the next few weeks to encounter Judge Weisberg.

Judge Weisberg is a former criminal judge who presided over the Menendez trial where he received most of his press. Here are some excerpts:

Time 5/11/92: On the order of Judge Weisberg, defense attorneys were not permitted to tell the jury about [Rodney] King's criminal record, including his imprisonment for robbery.

US News 5/25/92: Last week, Los Angeles Judge Stanley Weisberg ordered a retrial of officer Laurence Powell on an excessive- force charge that the jurors could not decide. Powell's attorney charged that no jurors in the state can fairly judge Powell, knowing that they might be in danger and that an acquittal could provoke mayhem. Judges also may find it difficult to seat a jury in the case of three men accused of beating a truck driver in the riot's early hours.

US News 7/26/93 Nor will the public be able to hear all the evidence that will determine the brothers' guilt or innocence. Judge Stanley Weisberg, who presided over the heavily televised first Rodney King trial, is said to be so haunted by the experience that he won't let cameras into the courtroom.

People 10/11/93: JUDGE STANLEY WEISBERG WAS NOT at all happy with defense attorney Leslie Abramson.

''You tend to shake your head negatively when the court rules against you,'' he said sternly. ''You had better stop doing that, or the court is going to find you in contempt.''

Abramson was neither contrite nor intimidated. She leaned back in her chair in the crowded Van Nuys, Calif., courtroom and folded her arms across her chest.

''Well, the court may be finding me in contempt pretty soon,'' she shot back. ''Because I'm finding the court's rulings astonishingly biased.''

During breaks, Abramson often stroked Erik's hair, whispered in his ear or flicked lint off his shirt. Last week such behavior prompted Judge Weisberg to warn her that lawyers should act like ''professionals, not nursemaids or surrogate mothers.''

From Entertainment Weekly 11/12/93: Like most Court TV addicts, I now find myself not only obsessed with the impending verdict but caught up in the theater of the trial itself. Just look at defense attorney Leslie Abramson's hair! She's Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction on a humid day. As for prosecutor Pamela Bozanich, she should definitely stop wearing those silly-girl bows. And will Judge Stanley Weisberg ever smile? Sustaining and overruling in that deadly monotone, peering over those little round glasses, he reminds me of comedian Steven Wright without the punch lines.

Time magazine 12/20/93: It then took Judge Stanley Weisberg more than an hour to issue jury instructions on the subtle variations in mental state that distinguish a first-degree * murder from a second-degree offense, a voluntary manslaughter from an involuntary killing -- all-important gradations that may spell the difference between life and death for Lyle, 25, and Erik, 23, in the Aug. 20, 1989, slaying of their parents.

Weisberg could only hope that after 90 days of hearing about sex, lies and audiotapes, the jurors hadn't missed his most important instruction, one that went largely unstated. At no point did the judge inform Lyle's jury of the conditions that would win acquittal -- nor will he when he addresses Erik's jury this week. Weisberg ruled last week that the brothers Menendez could not argue ''perfect self-defense,'' meaning that they had shot their parents out of a reasonable and honest belief that their own lives were in imminent danger. If the two juries are faithful to Weisberg's instructions, the best either brother can hope for is a finding that they had genuine but unreasonable fears of danger -- and involuntarily slaughtered their parents, a verdict that carries a minimum sentence of two years and a maximum of four.

Jean Hain writes People magazine 4/22/96: I was interested to read of Erik Menendez's attorney Leslie Abramson denouncing Judge Stanley Weisberg, stating, "I'm surprised he doesn't just take out a gun and shoot them." Isn't that what those two greedy boys did to their parents?

The Nation 3/9/98: Shortly before the Simi Valley verdict, an even more capricious combination of judicial decisions compounded what Cannon calls judicial negligence. Appellate Court Justice Joan Dempsey Klein, over-turning a lower court, ruled that the King beating had received too much publicity in Los Angeles to allow the four cops to get a fair trial and ordered a change of venue. But for reasons that may have had more to do with personal convenience than judicial logic, Superior Court Judge Stanley Weisberg, the trial judge, moved it to what was perhaps the worst possible alternative. Not only is Ventura County, where Simi Valley is located, in the Los Angeles media market, it is demographically everything Los Angeles is not. Simi Valley has a population of 100,000, of whom about 1.5 percent are black and about 80 percent non-Hispanic white. In Simi Valley, said the president of the Ventura County branch of the N.A.A.C.P., "Everybody...is either a police officer or is a friend of or related to a police officer."

Rumdar writes Luke: Lawyers know best. That is what you are paying them for. But really Luke, you should know better than to print "bad things" about the judge. He might be a fan. If anything you should be introducing him to some porn slut. Kendra Jade for instance. Why don't you wear your Hebrew beanie to court? Couldn't hurt.

Chaim writes Luke: Alas, we seem to live in an age when the judges themselves must be judged. If you really want to irritate that jew judge, just show up for your next appearance before him wearing the colors of the intifada, and one of those checkered hankies favored by the young men of Palestine.

On the other hand, your really ought to wear a keepah to court. If he is any kind of real jew, once he finds out that that a shiksa is up against a MOT, things will start to go your way. The choice is yours.

PS Imagine the fall of the third temple. Bad for porn?

Cablevision Loses Fight To Cancel Porn Excerpts

From Newsday:

Edited excerpts from hard-core porn movies are running nightly on a basic-cable TV channel on Long Island following a court ruling that Cablevision Systems Corp. could not cancel a contract permitting it.

A federal judge cited a clause Cablevision says it mistakenly included in the contract permitting the programmer to violate the company's rule against "indecent" programming.

The racy video excerpts, running on a "leased-access" channel that is part of the so-called family cable package, are nowhere near as explicit as programs such as the Robin Byrd show that have run on Time Warner Cable in New York City.

Still, they include women undressing to their underwear and making invitations to sexual acts. And they include advertisements for the full videos, for "escort" services and for Web sites and telephone services that feature pornographic content and charge fees. The show, called "T&A," or "Trailers and Advertising," includes porn stars with such names as Angelica Sinn, Cindee Cox and Lovette Annamalle.

A Disturbing Letter From Rumdar's Thai Concubine

Pah writes: mr. ford you friend rumdar no good man. we meet bangkok an fall in love for 200 bhat. he pay for love many time. he like back hole. he f--- back hole an call me LUKE! LUKE! he promise take me america. take me school. get me job ed powers and maxx harcore. las week i tell me no have period an he no more write. rumdar bad man. bad man.

Darla Crane and Her Suitcase Pimp

Mark Hopkins writes (and I can not confirm these allegations): A bad career move and another reason not to allow suitcase pimps on sets: On a recent Sean Michael's set, the cast and crew were disgusted by the actions of the "boyfriend" of new porn slut Darla Crane. While Sean was doing a scene with her, he was visible off to the side, whipping it out and jerking in front of everybody. Doesn't sound like professional or appropriate behavior on a set by someone who doesn't even belong there. Darla had better think twice about bringing him around if she wants to continue to be employed in the business.

Luke Gets Mail

MHJ writes: Hi, Luke, have you missed me? Reading about Lisa Ann I had to add one piece of information: her DOB is May 9, 1972. I am a huge Lisa Ann fan; she knows me but not as "Mr. Hollywood Jew." Lisa Ann is one of the most real, most beautiful, and genuinely sweetest, coolest women in this business that I've had the pleasure to meet. Besides movies, she's done layouts for something like 35 or 40 magazines ranging from Cheri to Puritan and inculding some foreign mags as well (she's appeared under different names in some of these -- the earliest I can recall was as "Sunshine" in a Euro hardcore mag. back in '94). In any case, she is also an extraordinary dancer (unlike many) and she has an amazing repertoire of acts and costumes. If you have the chance to see Lisa Ann dance, don't miss it! By the way, Lisa is MUCH better looking than Julia Roberts, though she does favor her a bit.

Goddess writes: Lukey baby, this whole "XXX" and "YYY" s--- really annoys the hell out of me. It's half-assed National Enquirer writing at its finest. For instance, in that piece you wrote about your past where you tried to *shamelessly* garner sympathy for yourself and make excuses for your bad behavior, you said, "....XXX did not appreciate my rejoinders..." Next time give us a teeny clue as to who you're talking about, such as, "step-mo---- did not appreciate my rejoinders" or "fath-- did not blah, blah, blah" and we'll get our scratch pads out and see if we can figure out their identities from there. And in conclusion, just let me add Gene XXXX would never pull a s---ty stunt like that!!

Luke writes: I think I really truly might be gay. What should I do? I find myself checking out the cute guys at shul.

Lynne writes: Vain princess that you are, dear, you're just checking out the competition. How girlish of you to worry whether the other guys might be cuter than you! Perhaps spending lots of money on improving your appearance would boost your self-confidence? You could start by renting an apartment where you could regularly bathe in hot water -- women are drawn to men who smell fresh and clean, and not like a pile of sneakers following a marathon.

Chaim replies: I know you say this as a joke, but I question whether it isn't the truth. No matter - relax. Being gay in Hollywood is even better than being jewish. Just learn to accept everything that comes your way, learn to be more tolerant and open, and try to relax every muscle in your body as you learn who Luke F-rd really is.

Rumdar writes: Women are very strange. I have met scores who were somewhat promiscuous (in varying degrees) in their youth. Maybe into their late thirties, early forties. Then all of a sudden they turn the tap off. "I am not going to have sex with another guy until I find a meaningful relationship"

Chaim writes: Boy is this ever true. And the irony is the older the woman, the weaker her bargaining power, and the more she ought to be willing to put out on a dime, if she really wants a relationship of any kind. And let's not forget all the older women who suddenly "discover" that they are lesbian when they have aged out of heterosexual desirability (e.g., Annie Sprinkle 'nee Ellen Steinberg). Let's face it - this is nature's plan.

Rumdar writes: It is extremely true. I worked with one who decided not to give any clam out until "God sent her a nice Christian man." That was fifteen years ago and God hasn't delivered yet. One dropped by Villa Rum this evening. She had been to a singles event and indicated the pickings were mighty slim. One guy with a K-Mart hairpiece asked her out. This woman is 43 tall and attractive. I expect her to close up shop soon. Put the fuzzy creature in mothballs and take up gardening. But lets give them a break. Most guys are married. The guys who like being married stay married or get divorced and re marry almost immediately. What is left? Guys like us (The Luke F-rd Advisory Committee) Not much to choose from. We are wasters to a tee. It is enough to drive a single gal suicidal :)

Lynne writes: Rum, I shouldn't be rough on you for liking to f--- whores. I like f---ing whores, too. Jeremy Steele. Dave Hardman. Both whores. I liked f---ing them because, as whores, they have the experience to know what to do. But I wouldn't PAY for it. Obviously you aren't Jewish.

Women neither "turn the tap off" nor "lock up the sacred beaver," nor is it true that "no one wants to f--- them any more" once they reach their forties. The "tap" runs dry all by itself when women get bored with unsatisfying, exploitative sex, which is what one is offered outside a relationship. Whatever was there is all used up. Sorry. And I'm still young, adventurous stuff to a guy in his late fifties, which is why I'm gonna check out the Jewish 50+ Singles group this weekend. Maybe I can find a nice Jewish doctor or lawyer in his sixties who thinks he can keep up with me!

Sex with a new partner is like any other motor skill; it takes time to get it right. The first time is usually less than ecstatic, for me at least, unless the guy is a whore. If the guy isn't willing to make the commitment to work on it until it gets good, he's just using the woman as a jack-off substitute, so maybe he should be paying for a whore, instead.

And if Luke were to tell me that he would have less respect for me if I did anything, why, I wouldn't do it. But I think we should force me to make harder choices. For example, how about either of the two above scenarios, or one night with Luke F-rd and then a lifetime of celibacy? Or, lousy sex with Luke twice a month for the rest of my life? Obviously, love isn't everything, because I do love Luke dearly, but I have it on good authority, namely Luke himself, that he's really lousy in bed. So as much as I adore that boy, perhaps it's best that we stay a thousand miles apart so I'm not wasting any more time on him than I already do...

Helpful writes: Is a woman who has appeared in sex films any better than a prostitute? Let she who has not been analed on film by Tony Eveready for money cast the first stone!

Goddess writes: I'm curious about "Helpful's" comment.....do you GUYS think there is any difference between a MAN who works in porn videos and a MALE prostitute???

Helpful replies: No.

Lynne chides Helpful: Tony Eveready was my FRIEND long before we did a couple of scenes together. Tony did not pay me. I was not expected to satisfy him sexually. (And of course whether I was satisfied sexually was completely irrelevant, as it would have been if this had been an act of prostitution.) Better than a prostitute? Different, maybe. See, I don't make any claim to be more moral than thou. The advantage of having been a bad, bad girl is that I can speak from experience. I do totally DON'T hold anything against women who make a living as prostitutes. It's just a job. I just think that men who prefer prostitutes to relationships are nitwits. They deserve to be lonely and miserable in their old age for having made the really stupid choice not to put the hard work it takes into having relationships, that's all.

Porn star Ruby writes from the Moonlite Bunny Ranch: Lynne, I just teach and enjoy sexuality. I am very sorry that some of the men in your life have treated you like less of a goddess. Part of what I teach is mechanics, partly sexual confidence, you need to learn how to think like a man, it is very liberating for a woman to slip into a masculine role on occasion. I'd love to be the one to teach you about acknowlaging your goddess, Your body is the temple of your soul, temple's take donations, and lots of people worship. I look forward to meeting you someday.

Luke, "It flattens your soul", (giggle). I was just about ready to jack off and go to bed, when whose face pops up on Fox Magazine, but yours. I saw my best friend Chloe on it but no interview, oh well, Fox is a conservative station. You looked good, babe, except for that soul flattening incident. Do you ever write more than one line on e-mail? If you did get my phone number, call me, it's my birthday. My phone has voicemail. Are you always off your computer by 8:00pm?

Jeremy Steele writes: Luke, It looks like I'll be working on Tuesday (and btw, it's not babenet), so it looks like I won't make it on your show. Too bad, since I have a few things to say, as well as a song for Mike McCornhead/Quasarman, where I also show off my guitars skills so to shut him up before I do so by force. If the situation changes I'll let you know.

Lynne L-patin writes: I do not, however, clean for men -- either they do fifty percent of the housework or they pay to have it done. Hence the real reason why, despite my deep love and devotion, I can never marry Luke F-rd. The man lives in a hovel with no hot water and sleeps on a floor covered with sewer runoff. He dresses as if his wardrobe comes from the stuff even the Salvation Army discards, and he thinks laundries are the places banks clean money.

James writes: Hello Luke, This is James your Central Florida Nightmoves Magazine Corespondent. I want to let you know about our 1st Annual Nightmoves Golf Tournament that we are having here in Sarasota, Florida on Saturday, May 26th. It will be 18 holes of the funnest golf that a tournament has ever seen! We will have a maximum of 144 golfers, in teams of 4. The 4-somes will also be bidding on the female caddy of their choice! We will also have a "Putting Contest" to raise money for charity, a "Longest Drive" contest, and a "Closest To The Pin" contest. We will have a few great raffle items, and an auction after the tournament. Registration will be from 8am-10am and the caddy auction will begin at 10:30am. Tee time is at 1pm, and we will supply you with a box lunch and a bag full of goodies! (We guarantee our goodie bag will be different from any other goodie bag you have ever received at a golf tournament!) Trophies for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place and some special photo opportunities for the winning 4-some! For more info on the event feel free to contact Nightmoves at 813-814-1505 for more details!

Was Benny Hill a Poof?

Dudley Moore writes: Luke, I believe you missed the point of last Sunday's post, on Charles Socarides' pioneering views and therapies for the reparative homosexualities and other sexual perversions. So let me clear things up a bit, today, and make the applications of Socarides' very elegant and remarkable theory even more explicit for you and your sex industry audience.

First, the personal "Luke" applications. You've occasionally stated--to use your exact words--that you mirror porn's perversities, and porn's perversities mirror you. On that basis alone, I thought you of all people would appreciate Socarides' vindication of your own very peculiar viewpoint, where you both see porn as a mirror, since, after all, according to Socarides' unitary theory of sexual perversion, perversion always begins at the age of 3 or 4 with a broken or distorted maternal mirroring process, and also since this broken maternal mirror later serves as a therapeutic point of entry into the perverse fixation, with the therapist himself or herself now taking on the fatefully unfulfilled role of earliest narcissistic mirror which the idealized, good-enough mother was supposed to provide. Since you yourself go to a therapist, Luke, I assumed this mirroring connection would be obvious to you.

Next, Luke, for the specific applications to the sex industry, i.e., the actual making of porn, nude dancers and prostitutes. I thought for sure you would get this point, Luke, so let me spell it out very explicitly. Simply put, Socarides' concept of a retained primary feminine identification, extended to male porn and sex consumers, explains why MALES ALWAYS TEACH THE FEMALES how to perform sex both "CORRECTLY" and FOR OTHER MEN in the sex industry:

1.It explains why porn directors must DIRECT female orgasm in the first place along with the loud, accepting oohs, aahs, and moans that are SUPPOSED to accompany "real" orgasm ACCORDING TO THE MALE DIRECTOR'S OWN INNER FEMININE "DIRECTOR", while in reality, the acting females, who are all pre-oedipal female homosexuals with broken primary feminine identifications themselves, according to both Socarides and Elaine V. Siegel, Phd.(see her book Female Homosexuality: Choice without Volition)really feel NOTHING during the shoot except either uncomfortable or frigid, while male porn consumers are indulging themselves in masturbation fantasies of what these women MUST be feeling, which is, in fact, nothing except the literal realization of their own male primary feminine identification;

2.It explains why nude dance instructors and choreographers are also characteristically MALE (in strip clubs, you'll see men teaching nude women how to "hoola" suggestively with the extended arms, bumps and grinds(the women need to be "taught" how to do this, you see, since the male is the one feeling something, not the females), and

3. It also explains why male pimps actually have to COACH their female prostitutes at all on how to attract johns. All of the above examples seem outrageous and beyond belief, except for the fact that ALL of these males, porn directors, nude dance instructors, pimps, as well as the targeted male porn and sex consumers share a primary feminine identification and so understand what is desirable "femaleness" each in the same way and from the same viewpoint!

Masturbation exercise: Imagine you are a porn director instructing a shy female you know how to perform sex for the camera. Go into as much detail as possible in giving her instructions. Become aware, as you do so, that the true source of excitement is in IMAGINING WHAT THE FEMALE MUST FEEL as you put her through the paces. This feeling of actually BEING THE FEMALE SEX OBJECT in the fantasy, FEELING WHAT SHE FEELS, and IMAGINING HER REACTIONS TO BOTH THE SEX, AND TO THE OTHER MEN ON THE SET is your primary feminine identification/fixation. Now, fantasize about showing the video to other men who know the woman personally, and realize that the source of your excitement now is in imagining WHAT THE OTHER MEN FEEL as they watch her being sexually compromised, as well as what SHE FEELS in being compromised.

Fantasy# 2: After a recovery period, repeat the exercise in the role of nude dancing instructor breaking in the naive amateur girls at your favorite strip club(yes, they're lesbians, but imagine, for the sake of the fantasy, that they are the girl next door).

Fantasy# 3: Rest, and then repeat the exercise once more: now you're giving your girlfriend over to a pimp of another race to put out on the street for the first time. Indulge your excitement of identifying with your girlfriend and as you do, feel sexually compromised AS HER, and also indulge the excitement of SHARING HER SEXUALLY WITH ANOTHER MAN, fantasizing HIS EXCITEMENT as well. Note: The fact that you could imagine what HE felt and GET EXCITED ABOUT IT was a form of unconscious homo(same)-sexuality, and a clear revelation of your underlying primary feminine identification.

So, Luke, again you must admit how well Socarides' model fits now only yourself, and porn, but the sex industry as a whole, as well as all sex-object oriented sex for that matter. In the future, porn may even be used as a diagnostic tool for identifying boys and men with primary feminine identifications.

P.S. And no, Luke, Benny Hill wasn't gay. He was a fetishistic cross-dressing transvestite with severely impaired ego and object relations. He never let anyone in, you see... And you certainly never showed up on Benny's doorstep unannounced, he was paranoid about that. Nor did he ever have any hired help. In fact he moved twice--once to escape a scaffolding he anticipated weeks in advance was going up across the way from his flat(he said it wouldn't do if they looked in his windows and saw a woman walking around...namely who? but himself, I believe)and the second time to his dead mother's house which she willed to her doting son on one strange condition. You see, Benny had a lifelong infatuation with his mother, AND SHE KNEW IT, and she left very specific instructions that NOTHING was to be touched or removed from the home...So, it turns out, Benny happily died in a house full of dresses, and drawers and drawers of his mother's underthings, and no one was the wiser, I dare say--a virtual transvestite's paradise in fact. And I conjecture, his mother knew very well that she had, except for a stray handjob or two from one of his evil Angels over the years, successfully kept Benny ALL TO HERSELF to the very end, and that, yes, of course, he had had these naughty affinities for mum's dresses and underthings, you see, from way, way long ago.

I got the facts I stated out of the book Benny Hill: King Leer. The rest I made up.

Pop Star Leases Out Girlfriend

BERLIN - A German pop singer has leased out his girlfriend for a year for the equivalent of $350,000 so he can pay off debts and have a liver transplant. Christian Anders, 56, drew up a contract with a 34-year-old millionaire named Michael Leicher before consulting his girlfriend. "I was shocked when I heard about this offer," said Jenna Kartes. "[They] decided on it behind my back." (Daily Telegraphy)

The Hip Hop Gay Mafia

Mango Baby writeson the datalounge.com: Reel Thang: Suge Knight, Russell Simmons, Dr. Dre and Puff Daddy are the Hip-Hop equivalent of the Hollywood velvet mafia. I have heard many stories of Suge the raging steroid queen. Tupac and Snoop were the highest money earning ho's in his stable at Death Row Records. Now self proclaimed pimp Snoop is hiding behind a brigade of bodyguards in anticipation of Suge's release and re-emergence. Even Puffy's recent sale of his Los Angeles property is rumoured to be about Suge's release. In many respects they remind me of the gay pimps and drug lords of the 70's. It is a fascinating and very unexplored history: the world of gay criminal warlords. From the streets to the prisons everything they do is about their fragile, twisted sense of "manhood". They are to the Black community what the Mafia is to the Italian community an embarrassing but undeniably existing element which projects and reinforces every negative stereotype. The Klu Klux Klan can just relax and watch these fools kill each other.

I once worked for Russell Simmons on a pilot for a comedy series which eventually became Def Comedy. Russell is a creepy, lisping blob who would walk around with an entourage of female models, but the staff at Def Jams admitted to me that he and his brother who now calls himself Rev. Run were as gay as could be. Run lived in a condo near Christopher St. by the pier in The Village. We also shot footage at Big Daddy Kane's home in Jamaica Estates. We arrived at 8am and there were 20 young men sleeping all over the house. The look on our faces told Kane he better come up with an alibi, so he ran upstairs and brought down a young girl who looked like she could be 14 yrs. old. That was supposed to be his squeeze. We didn't think so but Kane was very sweet and cordial. As for Puffy he is known to be bisexual as is LL Cool J. I was told by someone from the hip hop group that Tupac started out with as a dancer (they put out the Humpty Dance) that Tupac was a totally gay man. His mother who was a Black Panther became a crack head and was homeless dragging Tupac and his sister from crack den to crack den, eventually Tupac got rented for sex and was very damaged by that. His cousin who I worked with in Harlem said that Tupac and his sister had a nightmare childhood beyond anything Tupac could stand to discuss. Suge Knight is just a rough-neck jail house bisexual, Dre is basically gay and was once a former jeri curl wearing disco glitter queen. They both have a talent for connecting with and developing young, fatherless guys from the street. To know more you've got to get to know some Black folks who live in that world because the Black press definitely is not going to publicize homosexuality in the community.