Tuesday, April 17th, 2001

Luke Gets Mail

Rick writes: Hi Luke. I have a question only you or your readers may be able to answer. I saw a photo on EBay which suggested one of the hottest actresses in porn, Francesca Le, might be making a comeback with Extreme. Evidently she's blonde now and was hanging with Tom Byron at a show...the photographer said she's an Extreme Associates star but I don't know if that's legit or not? Is she? I'd love to see her do a gangbang for Rob Black?

Vi writes: Luke! Vinnie Silvera, cousin of reputed australian porn mobster Rob Spallone has announced the failure of his stunningly brilliant web scam...sendmeabuck.com Future plans include standing by freeway onramps carrying a cardboard sign with the words WILL WORK FOR SCOOBY SNACKS, scrawled weakly in blue crayon.

JohnIP writes on Netpond: Can somebody explain to me why this industry needs David Marshalack of Candid Cam and ALL the Voyeur Blah Blah Blah s---…appearing on National television giving some BS First amendment argument about why he should be able to broadcast the Timothy McVay execution, charge two bucks a pop with the help of WSB.

Jason writes: Luke, The dead baby photos were produced by an artist in China. For more see this link: http://www.gapingmaw.com/

Chaim Amalek writes: REAL OR NOT? Simply calling it "art" begs the question. For example, a flag burning anarchist by the name of Shawn D. Eichman achieved some measure of infamy by having an abortion and putting the dead fetus on public view in New York as part of an "exhibition" partly funded by the NEA. And that is not a web legend, but something that the mainstream press reported on at length in the early 90's. I once ran into this woman here in NY, and she confirmed that she did indeed put her dead fetus on public display as part of her "art". So just because something is called art does not mean that it is not real.

Interesting sidenotes for the historically minded. This woman became part of our constitutional lore. See U.S. v. Shawn D. Eichman et al., in which the us supreme court decided that the burning of flags was constitutionally protected speech. Also of interest - she purports to be the grand niece of Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichman. Like her kinsman, she hates America. She also has lots of tats and body piercings in sensitive places. Or so I heard.

Sir Alec Guinness May Have Sucked Dick

I cribbed this from GeneRossExtreme.com:

According to PlanetOut.com, Alec Guinness' arrest over 50 years ago for engaging in a "homosexual act" in a Liverpool restroom is just now becoming public. If so, that lends new meaning to the term Obi-Wan Kenobi British actor Sir Alec Guinness may have been bisexual, according to three new biographies cited by the BBC and the Guardian newspaper.

Guinness whose career spanned more than 50 years, was best known for his roles in "Lawrence of Arabia," "Star Wars," "Oliver Twist" and "The Bridge on the River Kwai." Guinness died last August at the age of 86.

The soon-to-be-released biographies, one due out next month, will reportedly detail Guinness' 1946 arrest and conviction for engaging in a "homosexual act" in a public restroom. The incident, which took place in Liverpool, England, was hidden until now because when arrested Guinness used a false name -- Herbert Pocket, a character in Charles Dickens' "Great Expectations." According to reports, at the time of his arrest, Guinness was preparing to play the role of Pocket in a film version by David Lean -- a character Guinness had perfected on stage in 1939.

Guinness managed to hide the incident from the public eye, although Sheridan Morley, author of the biography due out in May, said that Guinness' sexuality had "always been known" to his family and friends.

Guinness' longtime friend and fellow star, Sir John Gielgud, was very publicly arrested for "importuning" (soliciting gay sex) in London in 1953, a disclosure that dogged Gielgud's career for years afterward and made the actor suicidal, according to the BBC.

Scott writes: Most of the old British actors seem to be gay or bi(ex.Olivier) or into teen girls(Patrick Macnee of The Avengers,Donald Pleasance). Pesonally I prefer the hardcore alcoholics,like Peter O'Toole(pefect porn name!),Burton,and the always great Richard Harris.

Voice Media Settles With The FTC

Voice Media owner Ron Levi aka Fantasyman has taken to Netpond to defend his company from attacks by anonymous posters.

Today the Federal Trade Commission announced a tentative settlement with VM over credit card processing issues prior to May of 1999.

Fantasyman writes on Netpond: Slim: If you read the entire complaint it leads back to before May 1999 when DMR was our processor. Even though they were our processor and not billing properly, it was still our responsibility.

This is not a judicial settlement, that means a complaint was never filed with the court. It is an administrative settlement.

We did not have to pay any redress, there were no fines or penalties or restitution of any kind. We didn't have to post any bonds like others have been made to do.

We've been cleared to continue to do our Free Trials, since we took over our own billing after April 1999, we use full disclosure and have passed FTC scrutiny.

As part of the settlement VMI made no admission of liability and denies the charges alleged in the complaint. The unrefuted evidence does not support a finding that VMI defrauded consumers in any way.

VMI believes that this is why the FTC agreed to an administrative settlement with no order of fines, penalties, or restitutional remedies against it.

So spin this any way you like, call me a theif, I'm not, if you identify yourself, I'll sue you for defamation.

We're still here, and plan to be for a long time.

From the FTC announcement today:

Web Crammers Settle FTC Charges

Consumers Charged For "Free Trials"

Web site operators who billed consumers for "free trials" have agreed to settle Federal Trade Commission charges that their practices were deceptive and violated federal law. The settlement will bar the defendants from making false or misleading statements - including misrepresenting whether consumers will be charged for goods or services during a free-trial period - and will bar billing before providing clear and conspicuous notice of all terms and conditions. The settlement also will prohibit the defendants from changing the terms of their agreements, cancellation or refund policies without first giving consumers the opportunity to cancel the membership.

Voice Media Incorporated (VMI) and its officers, Ron Levi and Paul Lesser, are based in Carson City, Nevada.

In the complaint detailing its charges, the FTC alleged that the VMI operates adult content Internet sites and sells memberships for $19.95 to $34.95 per month. The sites promote membership by periodically offering "free" 7-day trial memberships. VMI asked those signing up for the free trials to provide credit card numbers for age verification. The complaint alleged that VMI represented that it would not charge membership fees to consumers who affirmatively canceled their trial memberships within the trial period. Contrary to that representation, VMI sometimes charged monthly membership fees to consumers who canceled within the trial period. Additionally, the complaint alleged that VMI immediately billed the credit cards of those consumers who signed up for the free trial at the outset, treating the submissions of credit card information as authorization to bill the accounts. However, consumers did understand that they had to take affirmative steps if they did not want to become members and be regularly billed.

The settlement will bar the defendants from making false or misleading statements, including false statements that they will not charge consumers during a free-trial period; that their services are free; and that a request for a credit card number is for age verification only. The order also prohibits them from requesting credit card information except for purposes of age verification, without giving consumers clear and conspicuous information about membership costs and the length of any free trial; terms of cancellation; and how consumers can provide notice of cancellation. The order prohibits the defendants from billing consumers who have not agreed to purchase their goods or services and from automatically billing consumers after a free-trial expires without first notifying the consumer in a clear and conspicuous way that the trial period has expired and billing is about to begin. It also prohibits the defendants from changing the terms and conditions of their agreements without giving consumers 15 days advance notice and an opportunity to cancel. The agreement also contains certain bookkeeping provisions to allow the Commission to monitor compliance.

Voice Media says:

Voice Media, Inc. ("VMI"), a recognized leader in the Internet entertainment industry has successfully resolved an inquiry and investigation initiated last year by the Federal Trade Commission ("FTC"). The inquiry, part of an industry-wide investigation of the trial membership practices of Internet entertainment companies, resulted in an administrative settlement as to VMI not involving any court filings against the company, no court orders, no payment of fines, no penalties and no restitution of any kind. Furthermore, although the FTC examined VMI's free trial membership practices, the settlement does not prohibit VMI from continuing to offer free trial memberships.

The administrative settlement grew out of the FTC's inquiry of administrative error by a third party processor which occurred prior to May 1999. Since then, VMI assumed its own customer billing, terms and conditions and customer service functions to ensure full disclosure to consumers. Contrasted with VMI's administrative settlement, a number of others within the industry have been the subject of United States District Court complaints, Stipulated Court Orders, restitution Orders and even Court supervised Receiverships.

VMI continues to be a leader by forging new industry standards through its efforts to develop appropriate consumer disclosures in cooperation with the FTC. We applaud the work of the FTC in its own efforts to prevent consumer injury and to aggressively address deceptive and fraudulent activities, which might otherwise undermine consumer confidence in Internet transactions. For questions or comments please contact James A. Steele, Esq. at (818) 999-0106.

Frank writes: the FTC's paper work in the case of CE/VMI looks like someone was determined to do the minimum amount of work ... just going through the motions ... a few desultory paragraphs with no fire and no steel in the middle ... contrast that with the hundreds of pages of filings, court receivers, yaddacetera ...

Auto writes: Ron Levi places blame for the FTC complaint on DMR. Mr Levi was a strong supporter of DMR. A lot of people got burned when DMR went under.

I'll Let You In Personally

Porn star Ruby writes Luke from the Bunny Ranch: Aren't Jewish men allowed to have concubines? Aren't you a little curious? There's a big difference between an amateur and a professional !! I know you're probably spoiled on porn girls, but you don't even have to be a good lay to be in porn! I learned more at the Bunnyranch in one year than 5 yrs in porn. Plus, we both write, and could learn from each other. Excruciatingly tight, RUBY.

Luke replies: I'd love to except my rabbi and religious community would kill me.

Porn Star Escorts

Fred writes Luke: I guess the girls who vehemently deny doing this sort of work on l-keford.com do so sometimes for reasons like this, and in fact, despite denials, they are open to hooking.

Bob writes: It sounds like its in your best interest not to publish about it. Might smooth things over with XXX too. At first, the porn/hooker stories were pretty interesting, but you've well established that they're all escorting on the side. More in this area doesn't add much; its no longer news. Now, if someone who's denied it turns up on those boards, that's another story, or its in the context of a story about a girl. Then again, maybe the reviews of the escort's performances bring readers back to you. By the way, I think it would definitely improve readership if you could provide more information about the offered services. I would be happy to conduct research in this area if l-keford.com inc. will front the related expenses.

Fred writes: I'm glad you're granting the favor. Good call. $1K/hour. Not bad. If she works 3 hours a day on average, she'll clear 1M/year. If she works 1 hour/day, she'll clear $365K And I imagine that not all of that is declared on her tax returns. Not bad. What do you think our beloved XXX earns each year? And I wonder what she spends it on? Isn't it amazing what a mere biological instinct can do to someone's net worth?

Luke says: Between $120-$200k a year, most of it frivolous, and virtually none of it saved.

Fred replies: This is actually interesting to me. I have to admit--I'm a cheapskate. I own no jewelry. I probably spend less than $3K/year on clothes. My biggest vice is that I eat out for virtually all of my meals. My living expenses are almost zilch. In my wildest dreams, I don't think I spend more than 25K/year on myself.

What the hell does your average porn star spend 100-200K/year on? I assume she's not supporting a (ahem) boyfriend. And 100-200K/year? If she hooks at 1K/hour, at 100K/year, that means she's "working" 2 hours/week. What does she do in her spare time? (If she earns 200K/year, that means she's working 4 hours/week. Again, what the hell does she do in her spare time? This is actually interesting to me. Exactly what is the life of a porn star like?

Why Is ButtHoleLeeAnus Blacklisted From Premier Porn News Group RAME?

ButtholeLeeAnus writes RAME.net moderator Frank Simns: Why am I blacklisted? Is it cause I told FRANZ that he abuses his power, did he just want to show me how much he can abuse his power, is he a lil wacko or what get back to me brutha. PEACE OUT!

Frank replies: The tone of your query should provide you the answer, in and of itself. Additionally, sending through a few posts with signature lines like "kill the moderators" did not do a lot to endear us to your cause.

Director Nic Andrews Injured In Car Accident? No

Samantha Barry writes: Hi, I don't know if this is the right place for this, but it's one of the only ways I can think of to get word out fast on something bad that happened to a fellow adult industry friend.

I just found this out from a mutual friend, sometime last night Nic Andrews was seriously injured in a car accident when someone changed lanes on the freeway, hit his car spinning him around right in the path of a semi truck that blind sided him on the driver's side going 80 mph! His car was crushed and they had to cut him out of his car. He was taken to Valley Presyterian hospital, and is listed in critical condition. I don't know all the injuries he sustained but I know both of his legs are broken and he has a collapsed lung and he is still unconcious. He is listed at the hospital under his real name so I guess friends and associates that know him can get more info there or from New Sensations.

AVN.com reports: Unlike some other porn gossip sites we won't mention by name, AVN.com actually checks out e-mail "tips" before posting them as fact.

Case in point is an e-mail sent to AVN.com and those other sites this morning at 8:18 am claiming that award-winning director Nic Andrews had been in a serious car crash Monday evening and had been taken to Valley Presbyterian Hospital in Van Nuys in critical condition.

While the other sites automatically posted the e- mail, apparently without questioning its authenticity, AVN.com actually made a few calls to determine if Andrews had indeed been in an accident. And wouldn't you know it? He hadn't. The e-mail "tip" apparently was just another commonplace e-mail hoax.

"It's very strange," Andrews told AVN.com's Tod Hunter. "All I know is that now I gotta call back about thirty people to say that I'm all right. Who knows how many other people heard it or read it or something."

"Nic was just late to the set, and he didn't call in," New Sensations owner Scott Taylor told AVN.com. "For some reason he either didn't have his phone, or his phone's not working. We have cell phones and they both don't work. He ended up calling from a pay phone, just to see what was going on. No cause for alarm, any more."

Porn Pro writes: FYI, you two clowns got scammed on your big Nic Andrews "scoop." And ain't avn.com rubbing your faces in it too. Like, duh...

GeneRossExtreme.com responds: AVN.com and "reporter" Andrew Wyke can continue to pat themselves on the heads like jackasses, meanwhile we're the first with all the breaking news- in St. Louis Suzi and Tom Wahl, arrested and charged with prostitution by St. Louis County police for putting on their sexuality seminar "Systematic Sexuality: Advanced Sexual Techniques" went on trial yesterday.

Tom writes: Hi Luke, I never realized it was illegal to watch people having sex. For it to be prostitution I thought you had to be a participant? They can't blame John Ashcroft for this one or can they?

Pornographer Murdered In Budapest, Hungary

XXX writes: About three weeks ago a porn producer was kidnapped, tortured until he gave his captures the pin number of his credit card on which his budget was held and then brutally murdered. According to Budapest radio news reports. They cut his throat when it was verified he gave them the right PIN number.

Also, there was a guy In Budapest also who worked with a fake AIDS test while knowingly HIV positive which has put the s---s up everybody.

Sin City Confronts Dr. William Pierce

AlienX@SinCityFilms.com writes: To Dr. William Pierce Your a real bad man. I do not understand your motive's other than you like to utilize scare and abhore tactic's. You are one of them sick f---'s that like to incite riot's and masterbate to it. China eating fetus's... Jesus Christ! That's just one more thing to change American opinion of the Chinese people and government. Your words make it that much easier for the right wingers to actually sell the AEGIS Defense system to Taiwan... The demonizing process is not difficult and your words are indicative of a typical demonizing process through propaganda. Your one sick f---. A war with China is on the way mark my word's and to make it happen the American people will have to be brainwashed to believe the Chinese are really bad people, the sheep will fall for, and it is all far to late... They (The Chinese) are not bad people, maybe a little mislead, but none the less another Korea we do not need! Your words make it that much easier to strike disgust and paranoia to start war's. Don't pride your self thinking your the only one with a mission to demonize the Chinese people and government so we can goto war with them. Like I said your simply a bad bad and unhappy man writing what you have. Truly and with the deepest hatred... Alien

Luke writes: Alien, how come my stats show that no members of the trial conversions convert through to the full high paying signups?

Alienx replies: Now, Luke about the reseller's program, we did a bug fix yet again and checks are being drawn today for our reseller's. Yes we had an error... Book's were not comming out right and the reports within the reseller's program were not showing to reseller's there commission on trial to conversion members. The system knows what is what but the pages within the webmaster log-in area did not show the data to our resellers. This fix we are doing will show your conversions. And yes Trial Member conversions will be seen shortly within your statistic's log-in area. Finally, yes your checks will include those conversions that you did not see in your statistic's. Yes this problem wreak's with the thought's that we are shaving, and I will be forth comming about that matter. Sincityfilms does not shave, and when we do I will tell everyone publicly about it. The matter of "The bottom line" with many webmaster's is an average. I am sure many many webmasters have learned to live with the "Shave" factor, and since they are willing and able to take a shave these days and live with it, I will be forth comming about the shaving and announce when we will begin shaving sign-up's. How ridiculous is that??? But anyways t this time and for future reference we will shave soon, however not today, not tomarrow, not 3 months from now. All stat's are 100% on the level and not a member is stolen at this time.

Well, If You Can Eat A Puppy...

Chaim Amalek writes: I just checked out that website with the photographs of yellow asiatics eating unborn children. I hope that these were faked, but if not, I say we cut off all ties to these people. We do not need them, and have not needed them since Promintory Point, Utah. Photos like that make me understand that our two civilizations are utterly incompatible. We ought to send all of our rioting people of color over there to teach them to act like real human beings, even if all concerned die in the healing process.

PS: One of your porner readers wrote: "They (The Chinese) are not bad people, maybe a little mislead, but none the less another Korea we do not need!"

Note the easy (and equally truthful) substitution that could be made:

"They (The German) are not bad people, maybe a little mislead, but none the less another Great War we do not need!"

Finally, remember that I am a liberal, a member of the United Nations Society, and sensitive to others.

Seymore Butts Charged With Obscenity

Mark Kernes writes for AVN.com: LOS ANGELES - file photo. Adam Glasser, better known to porn fans worldwide as Seymore Butts, has been charged by Los Angeles prosecutors with misdemeanor obscenity for his Tampa Tushy Fest tape, one version of which contained a fisting scene, AVN.com has learned.

Glasser is scheduled to be arraigned in court Friday (April 20). He is expected to plead not guilty to violating California Penal Code Sections 311.2(a) - "production, distribution or exhibition of obscene matter" - and 311.5 - "advertising or promoting matter represented to be obscene," better known as "pandering obscenity."

"I make pretty much the fun-est, most consensual, non-degrading, albeit very hardcore, tapes," Glasser tells AVN.com. "The essence is, the women are always in control. The pleasure of the woman, the orgasm of the woman, no matter what kind of sex she's having, is the main thing."

Read On

Brandy Alexandre writes: Adam is the LAST person they should be charging with obscenity. Is the DA clueless as to the content on modern porn? Why aren't they looking at Max Hardcore tapes? He's the one who needs it and deserves it.

Alisha Klass vs Seymore Butts

Adam Glasser aka Seymore Butts tells GeneRossExtreme.com about his ex-girlfriend Alisha Klass: "The truth is she f---ing Jackie Martling, Emilio Estevez and Bruce Willis. The three celebrities that approached her she f---ed. So what does she mean when she says she doesn't use it to her advantage? She's a star because she's a star? She's a star because her pussy squirts 10 feet high when she gets f---ed up the ass. Of course before she ever met me and I gave her the name Alisha Klass, she wouldn't even know what ejaculation was. If you squirted it in her face. She wouldn't know what the f--- was happening."

Alisha tells GeneRossExtreme.com: "Or would he like to talk about how he got up five in the morning one morning, putting all black on and the OJ gloves and went over to Emilio's and ended up killing his dog and then torturing him for five more months until Emilio called begging me to ask him to stop. That's the kind of person he is. If he wants to get into our past I've already admitted everything. Leave me alone. I left him for a reason and he's lucky he's not being sued for all the money owed to me. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. And, Bruce Willis chased me. I didn't chase him. Also, I'm a star, not because I f--- stars because I don't go around using that to my advantage. I'm sorry that there's no mainstream stars looking to f--- him [Seymore] and his fat ass. I f---ed a man, and, unfortunately, he's a famous one."

Seymore Butts tells GeneRossExtreme.com: "I dare you as a journalist, as an investigative reporter, as a man to find one shred, one person, to find anybody that will say that one, has anybody found out that he had a dog killed? If she's going to say I pulled an OJ on Emilio's dog, that's a pretty heavy statement about me and my character. Again, where's the proof. I think Emilio Estavez is accessible from the standpoint of having an agent/representative. Would it be worth a phone call to see if the man had a dog killed. Has the man lost a dog? Does he own one?"

Porn star Alisha Klass writes: Hi Luke, Hope you celebrated this holiday weekend in whatever way you do. Thanks for the thank you. I just got in from Canada, the expo was a hit. Nice to hang out with the girls who attended. Jill Kelly, Shayla, Cassady, Briana and Dayton as well.

What a mess this whole weekend has been on the web. You know, it sucks that you get away from someone and they don't go on with their own stuff and stay out of yours. Why do certain people have to continue to try and be cruel and lie? I'm thru with any further comments when the idiot opens his mouth. Doesn't he have his own things going on to get nice press? I've stayed away and I shouldn't have reacted to his evil comments and the stupid back up stories he cooked up. I'm better than that and I left that certain personality for a reason. He did drive by and that really upset me, then after the comments posted on your site, I lost it and that's the last time I spend any negative energy on people that have no business or matter in my life. My life is going perfect and I have been working very hard to move on. I don't really care what anyone's take is on the Willis story, cause nobody else is involved. And if I'm only a star, cause I squirt 10 feet high well, I'm not squirting in any other area of my accomplishments, so myself and my work and the way I treat others speaks for itself. Thank you for printing my interview and for covering CENTER OF THE WORLD. To bad you couldn't hook people up to a lie detector test, before you posted their comments, then the people would know the truth.

Britt Morgan vs Brandy Alexandre

Britt writes:

BRANDY ORIGINALLY WROTE: BrandyAlx1: I was just looking at the Britt Morgan photos. I thought from the way the comments were worded that these would be new pictures, but they're all at least 8 years old BrandyAlx1: She and Jace Rocker always held that she never had a boob job, but it's so apparent that she not only did, but it's a bad one. (then there's a whole bunch of BlahBlahBlah......) and then,

BRANDY MAINTAINS THAT SHE WROTE:

Brandy Alexandre writes: What's with taking a line of one on my replies out of context for Britt Morgan to pounce on? Truly, what is her problem. Awfully defensive of her for my giving my two-cents on a common topic of discussion with regard to her boob job. She just came screaming down the pike with flamethrower full-open. WHY? I think she's the one taking things a bit seriously. I've never had a problem with her personally, and I thought that went both ways. Sorry to find out she's two-faced even at this late date. and then,

BRITT MORGAN REPLIES WHY: I don't think that saying: "not only did, but it's a bad one" - (did I somehow misunderstand this particular line within context?) -CONSTITUTES: "common topic of discussion with regard to her boob job" - (and if this is a common topic of discussion for you in your world, then, not only am I extremely flattered, I am even more sorry for you than before - seeing as how before, I was just being a smart-ass - but NOW? Now I really am worried for you.)

AND: "screaming down the pike with flamethrower full-open" ? How banal of you, considering YOUR intial incendiary attack on something that is completely redundant outside of your own jealousy and triteness. I am simply gamboling and you are obviously just being a trifling loitering kibitzer.

And as far as: "never had a problem with her personally", neither had I with you, until YOU decided that being a paltry little beleaguerer was somehow in order simply because Luke took to waste some of his site space on me, and apparantly from what I can tell, the only opportune that you receive is in your blatant carpings about this or that personal piteous grouse of yours..... Boo-f---ing-Hoo.

Or is that 'Who's-f---ing-You'? To hear YOU tell it - everyone is! I don't recall being the one to start this nugatory little raillery - and if you had hoped my blondeness would allow me to accept your disparagement of me as stilted badinage, you were sadly mistaken.

And: 'TWO-FACED'? That would only give me the power to laugh at you TWICE as hard - and I don't think you really want to give me that, now DO you? So, to show my good faith in hoping to end this genteel exchange of ours amicably, I am wishing you my best in that your head does not explode from your deciding my rhetoric from a Rorschach test. (NOT that it would make any difference in your ability to be photographed, mind you.....)

Scott writes: C'mon Luke, enough with these old hags Brandy A. and Britt Morgan. Isn't there a glue factory for old porn hags? Long Live the New Flesh!!!

Britt Morgan writes: Yeah Scott, YOU'RE benefitting from all the new porn flesh runnin' 'round, now ain't ya'? Yawn. put yo' dick where yo' mouth is - send a pic, Scott.

Scott replies: Sorry Britt-I won't fight with you. I was taught to respect my elders. If you're curious what I look like,just call me next time you need help crossing the street.

Brandy Alexandre writes: Britt Morgan is obviously trying to cloud the issue with irrelevent and inaccurate spin, and name calling. What she took entirely out of context to flame on was from my comments about a potential employer and someone saying I was sue-happy. I said, "Maybe you should feel sorry for me that so many people try to treat me like an idiot. Once that is done you're more than welcome to feel sorry for them for being sadly mistaken." Britt quoted only, "Maybe you should feel sorry for me that so many people try to treat me like an idiot," as if it had anything to do with the subject at hand, for the purpose to "Because you are." Just thought I'd clear that up. (for closure, the employer paid and apologized. I did not sue, only billed, and it's apparent I was not an idiot, and can rarely be accused as such except in act of desperate defamation.)

As I said, she's zeroed on me for reasons unknown. I only said what others have said; pondered what others have pondered. Whether it's just because my name is more memorable, stands out more, or there some degree of jealousy is anyone's guess. She promoted the site with some old pictures and I gave an opinion. I'm entitled. People give opinions on lots of things, including me. But most of them try to make valid points and not indulge brainless flammage. And, just like BT betrays her own worst fears of aging and lost youth by the content. Trying to stay on track, even though I hadn't intended a protracted discussion, were Jace and Britt lying about no boobjob, and if not, why to they appear as lumps in her armpits even standing upright? Genetic defect?

And after all this time, why has she resurfaced? Not another failed attempt to reenter the working world (if she's ever been there) and so gearing up for a "comeback" or turning to prostitution? I may still be around the industry for amusement, but I by no means need it nor am active in it. So, even if I was some old hag (which can only be conjecture on Britt's part since I have not seen her since 1991 or so), it doesn't affect the part of my body that generates my income. And let it not go unsaid that she REFUSED to let anyone shoot me alone or even shot of my full face for the Cheeks 4 box cover because she was positive Coast to Coast would put me on the box instead of her.

I inferred nothing about her blondeness, as I know she's just a poser in that area. If it's such a sensitive issue that she'd hurl it out of nowhere, perhaps she'd be more comfortable in her natural color (she once put on a hat to hide her roots when I had to see Jace about something).

Luke Gets Mail

CartoonMan writes: Hey Luke, wondering if you can put this on your site to get the word out. Tell the WORLD that US CARTOON PORN FANS want JENNA JAMESON in CARTOON FORM, we want DEVON in CARTOON FORM, we want JULI ASHTON in CARTOON FORM, we want JILL KELLY in CARTOON FORM, and most importantly we want KATIE GOLD in CARTOON FORM.

Jeffrey H. Aikman writes: Hey Luke - I've known Flashman for a little over 5 years. I first met him when he was doing the Entertainment and Sports Today tv show. At first I didn't know what to think of the guy and was a little sceptical, but let me tell you Flash knows a TON of people. One night I was walking through the lobby of Caeser's Palace with him, and not less than 10 people were chanting his name. Flash is an over-the-top cartoon character brought to life but he certainly has a heart of gold, and when he needs to be is extremely professional. Even though he likes his Budweiser way too much, I have never seen him take anything stronger and seriously doubt he needs anything else. During our acquaintance I have seen him countless times a year at all the major events I attend - NATPE, VSDA, XRCO, AVN and of course all sorts of major premieres and parties. I am proud to know Flashman and will defend his integrity 100%.

Don Fernando writes: O.K.-It's Don Fernando's turn to speak."I know a really wild & crazy guy who dresses up in outlandish clothes and doesn't stop talking!Man...the guy has got to be coked up or high on speed!".I know you're thinking that I'm talking about Flash Cadillac aka Flashman.WRONG...This was how people described me 12 years ago (half way thru me career);some folks in the porn industry and other folks that were not.Me???I don't even smoke and can say that (it gets corny here) "I get high on LIFE!"

I am a hyperactive individual and nothing but.I do everything fast!Eat,Drive(have speeding tix to prove! LOL),f---("The Rabbit"-my porn nickname)...,Lose My Temper- I DO EVERYTHING FAST...No Drugs-JUST HYPER!My twin brother,Ron Fernando is the same as well as millions of other people!Flash always brings a smile to my face :<).He is a living cartoon character;just enjoy him for who he is!!!Gheeeez, Folks...Times like these we need more far out and wacky folks like him! :<) , Don Fernando

P.S. In January of 1981 as I drove to Las Vegas for CES at 110 MPH this pink Cadillac flew by me at 120 MPH! I had my radar detector on so I was O.K....Flash..He was JUST lucky!!No ticket :) Don

Nude model and porn star Mirage writes: Dear Luke: It was definitely a great pleasure meeting you at XRCO. Heard a lot about you.

I know Flash had gotten a bad command from a porn star recently. I am sure he doesn't need me to bail him out at this point, but I still like to come for his defense.

I've known Flash for the last three years. We became pretty close friends. He'd booked me modeling and acting projects more than I can handle with my busy schedule. He has heart of gold under all those fancy clothing. He's extremely intelligent. Both of us are big main stream film buffs.

Of course his drinking absolutely drives me crazy, especially I don't touch one drop of alcohol. I keep telling him to cut his messages shorter, or not to clog my voice mail. But that's Flash, you just have to accept who he is. Once you know him well enough, his annoying little self starts to grow on you like a mole. You learn to like his flamboyant style and the harmless smooth talk. Believe me, he doesn't need drugs. He's crazy enough without them.

Whether it's Hugh Hefner's Playboy party, Oscar awards party, or conventions in Vegas, Flash always has the credential to invite me to these events, introduces me to the top main stream actors and porn stars.

One should not judge the others by the way they dress or talk, especially in the adult industry. We should know better. Nobody is more angelic than the others. We are the ones who suppose to have more open mind, and more accepting to the differences in our own individualities. So who made you (whoever is the close minded person ) better?

Luke says: In other words, the ground is level at the foot of the cross.

Luke's mom writes: "Tell your Jewish friends that our adjusting to having a Christian son convert to Judaism was a cinch compared to having a Jewish son who got involved in the pornography industry at the same time. Fortunately "losing face" which the Chinese worry about is not a problem for us. It's called rolling with the punches."

Luke says: I had told mom about a chinese woman who converted to Judaism nine years ago but had not yet told her parents because they would disown her...

Chaim writes: How would your mom and dad take to your joining the National Alliance? I say you join up and give us the straight dope on what they are really like.

Meni69: they chanted flashman? you believe that s---? please
Meni69: i actually had something stupid like that at internext
Meni69: Sless from vivid introduced me to another vivid employee as "Meni who posts on l-keford.com"
Meni69: gee, i run pornnewsdaily.com and 100 other sites

CrazyCanuckJR writes: I recenty saw the Felicity/Max Hardcore interaction. I may not be a fan of Max and repulsed by some (most) of his videos. In Canada BRAVO just aired the Felicity ducudramenary--she was a mess before she walkd into and onto a porn set-- I am not saying she 'may' use drugs, but her actions from one scene to the next left open the debate of phsyological and emotional abuse suffered before she ever set foot on porn set.

And as for drugs, I work in a strip club and usually can tell when a girl is on something and Felicity seemed to be slightly out of her mind when she shot certain things for that documentary. Like I said, Max Hardcore is not my style and grosses me out sometimes..but before you believe article written about that shoot--check more into Felicity past. The porn catalog has her listed in three Ben Dover Gonzo flicks and three N.A. flicks-- four Anal scenes between them--I do not know if any are overlapping... But I have seen some of Ben Dover's European style GONZO shooting and it aint calm and normal by our standerds and I find it often too rough.

From jeff in NYC: Dr Pierce should realize before blaming sumner redstone for a tv show on his network that the chances of mr Redstone even being AWARE of the mtv show in question are slim and none. Clearly someone who runs a major corporation does not have the time to personally watch each and every show that airs on 1 of his networks. This would be like blaming Ted Turner for the Failure of World Championship Wrestling when he was so far removed from that part of his corporation that he had many people running the wrestling promotion in his place. Further, if dr Pierce would watch any show on MTV and count the # of jewish names in the credits, he'd see that there are plenty of non-Jews responsible for putting out these shows.

Scott writes: Luke, it's true the Chinese do eat babies! See the pics at www.rotten.com! Ancient Chinese secret?

Fred writes: Per the message on your web page, I checked out rotten.com. I have the following comments.

1. This is the single most disgusting web page I have ever seen in my entire life. In fact, it is the single most disgusting anything I have ever seen in my entire life.

2. I strongly believe the picture of the cannibalism is fake.

3. If it isn't, I am nonetheless certain that it is an aberration in the extreme, in China or anywhere else.

4. If Dr. Pierce wants to wallow in this stuff, he is more than welcome to. I can think of no better pastime for a man of his unique perspectives.

Chaim writes: I think it works. I mean, at least some people who read this stuff will (1) believe it and (2) draw harsh inferences against the chinese as a whole as a result, which is what he intended. Let us give credit where credit is due!

Fred writes: O.K., but I would be shocked if MTV management knew about this ahead of time, and they certainly wouldn't televise it. Doubtless, they were as shocked as the folks in the audience. Pierce is a moron if he believes otherwise. (By the way, regarding Gloria Allred, the girl's attorney who is going on the warpath on behalf of these two girls, see if you can guess which ethnic group she hales from.)

Luke says: I bet she's a Jew.

Fred writes: So, you don't think a rebellious son should be stoned? I find that shocking, Mr. son-of-a-7th-day-adventist-preacher and convert to orthodox Judaism. Well, in light of your comment, I've started putting my stones away. BTW, what should happen to the rebellious son? (Sentance him to watching hours of mindless pornography?)

Brandy Alexandre writes: What's with taking a line of one on my replies out of context for Britt Morgan to pounce on? Truly, what is her problem. Awfully defensive of her for my giving my two-cents on a common topic of discussion with regard to her boob job. She just came screaming down the pike with flamethrower full-open. Why? I think she's the one taking things a bit seriously. I've never had a problem with her personally, and I thought that went both ways. Sorry to find out she's two-faced even at this late date.

Lynne L-patin: Good morning. It made me so happy to read "It is good to spend time with people at their homes, to be invited back for meals and hours of conversation..." What a change for you.
Lynne L-patin: I thought your Passover schedule was hysterical. Lots of eating, lots of prayer...yet I know how hard you worked last week. When did you manage? And surely you gained twenty pounds eating for hours on end?
Lynne L-patin: And as to the prayer...I think there might be a good gauge to measure your current level of narcissism: how much of that time was spent on yourself, and was any spent on anything or anyone else?
Luzdedos1: Almost all my prayer time is spent on myself.

Southern Hank writes Luke: You are wicked. Which makes you fun, and interesting, but also sort of dangerous, because you talk about things in Torah that you don't know the first thing about. In your website today you talk about the Rebellious Son. Did you know that the Gemara says that there "never was" a Rebellious Son and that there "never can be" a Rebellious Son? There are long discussions about this matter in the Gemara. You're glib sentence sounds all too much like an ignorant, anti-Semitic Christian reading of the Torah. It saddened me.

In short, you should know by now that you don't know enough Torah to discuss it with any authority. Forget the fact that your Hebrew is not very good. The wise man perceives his ignorance.

Luke replies: I don't pretend to discuss the Torah with any authority. Folks interested in learning Torah generally don't look to l-keford.com for teachings.

Hank writes: Levi: Come on, you come across with tremendous authority on your website. I just want you to realize that you (and I include myself in this) don't know any real Torah yet. You are just starting to learn. So try not to be so cocksure with your opinions about what's valid and what's not valid in the Torah. You should start a new website. LeviBenAbraham.com. A website for converts to Judaism who are still filled with conflicts. It's a natural. And it would be a great place to meet women. You would make more money. It would be more interesting. Porn is so boring.

Maxwell writes: I'm Jewish, from the East Coast. My question to you- from your experiences---is it "in" or should I say, is it the 'thing' for hot chicks, shiksas (porn stars, hot models, girls on your site) to go out with Jewish guys?

Luke says: For some. Tera Patrick, for instance, says she likes Jewish guys.

James writes: Hello there, I'm 30 and my name is James. I first started watching adult movies in 1985. Since the inception of the internet in my house I've been searching for information on a few of my favorite stars. Candie Evans has very little information about her but at least there is some. I'm so glad to have found your site. I didn't know Mark Wallice had HIV ? MY favorite movie was probably slippery when wet with Candie Evans. I searched your site for my all time favorite actress but no success. Please tell me anything that you know about Frankie Leigh. Man I loved her. What a beautiful girl. Also, do you have any idea what year Megan Leigh would have done covers for Seventeen Magazine. Or if you could give me the exact issue numbers I'd really appreciate it. The Frankie Leigh info is more important though.

ThomasK writes: Hi Luke, read your column daily, just wanted to tell you that the personal Appearance that Alisha Klass mentioned last week in your column is at my store. She will be at SECRETS ADULT VIDEO STORE in DENVER, COLORADO FRIDAY, APRIL 27TH AND SATURDAY, APRIL 28TH, we have coverage on 4 local radio stations and we have spots on cable television promoting her upcoming app., we expect a huge turnout, if you could mention this on your site it would be appreciated.

Luke Meets A Chinese Girl Who Converted To Orthodox Judaism

Rumdar writes: Luke, This is the most interesting development in your life for sometime. Could this grow into a romance? A few questions if you don't mind.

*Which came first, her desire to become a Jew or the realization that she didn't enjoy sex.
*Can she say "Not tonight honey, I have a headache" in Cantonese?
*How does she feel having to give up sweet and sour pork for her religion?
*How many chopsticks....no never mind.
*How many Hebrew National wieners.......no never mind (again).
*Does she ever slip and call her Rabbi "Chairman Lips---z?
*Is she able to buy egg rolls wholesale?
*If the parents won't speak to her if she is a Jew what type of suicide will they employ when they find out she is dating a Jewish pornographer?
*Does she realize she joined to the same religion as Lynne Lopitan?
*Does she ever tell you she would like to see a remake of "The Flower Drum Song" with Pauly Shore as the lead?
*Last but not least. When she invites you over, does she serve Metamucil instead of green tea?

Luke Goes To Shul To Prey

Luke writes: I believe, dear Amalek, that you know what lurks in my heart and what motivates me to attend daily the richest Orthodox shul in Los Angeles.

It is not for the opportunity to do mitzvos, or to connect to God or to study sacred text. It is to get help.

I feel overwhelmed by life. I feel sick and tired and exhausted and frustrated. So I go to shul to make friends, bond with community and network.

I wear my nicest suit on shabbos and holidays and I try to look pretty and vulnerable and tremble my lower lip and hope that some prince charmings and their wives and friends and family will rescue me from the hovel that is my life.

I admire the people there - they have money and success and nice homes and big families and they observe the Torah and they succeed big in the outside world. I want to be like them. Ergo, I surround myself with them, wheedle my way into their homes and lives, and act darn grateful. Coz I am.

The whole reason I started this web site was just a giant cry for help.

There are lots of doctors there too, so maybe one of them can figure out what ails me... And there are Hollywood gedolim and all sorts of big shots.

I just hope that after I get the help I need, I don't do to them what I did to Dennis Prager. Please stop me before I betray again!

Chaim writes: Among the Gedolim of Los Angeles you are barely a gnat. But among the faithful of Aryan Nations you would be a giant.

Lynne writes: Yes, Chaim, Luke's call to Judaism is just a sham to infiltrate the Jews and do covert damage to their bankbooks and their fairest maidens. Count the silverplate, mama, because Luke F-rd's come to dinner!

Luke, what I want from you is to discuss the nature of God and of prayer.

Luke says: God is four things according to Judaism: Supernatural, eternal, personal (he knows us) and holy. Prayer is a way of communicating with the Source of All.

Lynne writes: Then I shall pray, dear, to the Source of All. I shall give thanks for another wonderful day and for the gifts of strength and the resources to see it through, and for marijuana (whether I have any or not), and for taking care of Luke and my other friends, but especially Luke, because although he may be smart, he is the lamest person I know. And I shall ask, please, encourage the boy to keep his eyes and heart and mind open to what will heal him so that, when it comes to him, he doesn't push it away.

Luke, as an introvert, even a recluse, who is chronically depressed, you are very brave to go out into the world at all. And isn't that why anyone goes to shul -- to make friends within a community? Connecting to God or studying can be done privately, and opportunity for doing mitzvos is everywhere, but we all need a sense of community.

Whoa, Lukey! You are a thirty-five year old man, not a nineteen-year-old girl. There is nothing about a pretty, vulnerable mature man that would attract a family-oriented heterosexual man with his s--- together. And you have chosen to make that hovel your life. It's what you want for yourself. Or you'd have something else. But playing Jewish Princess at your age and given your gender is laughable. If I behaved in public like that, you'd hoot at me!

Pay attention to how they live, and how they got to where they are, and how they treat one another. It's a wonderful learning experience. Having family and self-esteem helps; accepting others' imperfections helps, and having employment one can discuss in public helps (although a very lucrative hidden career won't hurt).

"The whole reason I started this web site was just a giant cry for help."

And you got it...without the web site I would never have sought you out at the beginning. I don't know who else you're getting help from, but you earned my respect and devotion with the site, Luke.

We already knows what ails you, punkin' -- you just don't want to hear it. You are too bound up in your identity as the ailing, vulnerable Princess to want to be healthy and forge on with the difficulties of life. And you are a big shot yourself, Luke, in your own little pond 'o porn. It's just that you can't tell these people.

You won't get the help you need from these people, so don't worry about it. They're going to shul to make friends, bond with community and network, not rescue fragile, overaged pretty boys who are overwhelmed by life. And if they observe the Torah, you won't be having affairs with their wives, or homosexual relationships with them. You're much more likely to get "help" from people who know the truth about you, and love you despite it (or because of it, or better yet, both.)