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Wednesday, April 11th, 2001

Luke On Slate.com

Brandy Alexandre Says - It Pays To Be A Bitch

BrandyAlx1: It pays to be a bitch, I don't care what they all say. I guess as long as you do it intelligently. I don't remember if I told you about the company that sent a written employment offer and took it back days later, but I sent them a bill for my time, mileage, and one week of their offered salary because I turned down another place based on their promise of employment. Not even a week later they claim justification for doing it, but sent a release for me to sign after which they will immediately cut a check for the full amount. Like SO many others, I bet they're sorry they ever met me. Good! :Þ I am a wonderful, fun, capable and skilled employee/person until someone f---s with me. Let that be a lesson.
BrandyAlx1: Now I feel guilty for some weird reason. Is that latent Jewish blood?
BrandyAlx1: What is it that makes these losers feel better by claiming someone works the drive-thru? I guarantee you that porn is not forever, and I have more potential for a quality life and income outside of porn that anyone else. I did not, nor have I, nor will I, ever work in fast food unless it's in the corporate offices providing administrative support to senior-level management. They just need to get used to it.

Erotica Biz: How Sex Shaped The Internet

Veteran journalist Lewis Purdue (Eroticabiz.com) handed in his book (EroticaBiz: How Sex Shaped The Internet) to Harper Collins last week.

He writes in his introduction about the difficult time he had writing the book:

The main public sources about the industry could not be relied upon at anything near face value, and few in the industry talk. That made it hard to find out who actually owns what. Adult sites rarely list an address or a phone number. There are none of those "Who We Are" or "Our Team" links on the site. Rarely a phone number and never, ever an e-mail address that goes to a person with a real name. Of nearly three hundred e-mails I sent asking for information and interviews, less than 20 were ever returned.

I solved much of this by attending several adult industry trade shows and cornering the big cheese in their booths. Most of these are fogged with dense layers of cigarette smoke and look like a hooker's convention plopped down into a techno-rave. Conversations were tough, breathing tougher and people mostly disingenuous, dishonest or disinterested.

Women in the industry and smaller webmasters were the exception to the wall of silence. While I never got many responses from the top people, scores and scores of the smaller fish sent me unsolicited emails and anonymous documents. They told me where to look, what to ask. And even though they each had only a small fish's view, when put together, their combined information provided a surprising and broad perspective.

I was fortunate also to find the owner of the industry's largest single operation, Cybererotica, the sole exception to the ringing silence at the top. The "Fantasyman" (whose real name appears only once in the book, at his request) was remarkably candid and accessible. The rest of the big players were inaccessible. They'll undoubtedly complain loudly on the message boards that they weren't quoted. Adult webmasters spend a lot of time whining on their message boards that the non-adult world doesn't understand them. Well DUH! folks. Answer a few questions and maybe that would change. But, then you'd have to find something else to whine about.

The BIG GUYS' surrogates will undoubtedly post messages about how I perhaps missed this point or that. But it's not like they weren't asked. They have no basis on which to complain at this point. So, here's my pre-emptive SIDDOWN! SHADDUP already! You had your chance. You blew it. Get over it!

People usually go by nicknames or "handles" rather than their real names both on and off the message boards. While handles are common everywhere on the Web, they provide a legitimate barrier to keep friends, family and others from knowing that they are in the sex business. Most say they are not ashamed of what they do, but fear reactions from people whose cultural attitudes have been shaped by society's disapproval.

Handles also keep people like me from finding out who'd in charge and who should be able to answer questions.

The lack of a name; the lack of a phone number or address; the refusal to answer e-mails - all of this produces a gut-level reaction that these people have something to hide. When I set out to write this book, I was determined to enforce a judgment-neutral tone that focused purely on the development of technology and business models and not on the content or the people involved. Those are subjects for other authors and have been well covered. If you are looking for further reading, I recommend: Obscene Profits: The Entrepreneurs of Pornography in the Cyber Age, by Frederick S. Lane, Hardcover, (January 2000) Routledge; A History of X : 100 Years of Sex in Film, by Luke F-rd, Hardcover (September 1999), Prometheus Books; Porn: Myths for the Twentieth Century, by Robert J. Stoller, Paperback Reissue edition (August 1993), Yale University Press. These along with a more complete list of books on the subject (sorry, none with centerfolds) can be found at the EroticaBiz web site, http://www.eroticabiz.com.

The difficulty of gathering reliable information and the industry's reaction to my queries made me feel very much like a player in one of those "B" movies where the innocent outsider visits a small, isolated town where everybody acts suspiciously for no apparent good reason. It didn't take me long to feel as if my car had broken down in some spooky hamlet where the only restaurant in town specialized in grilling babies. While I found no bebe' saute' in pornland, the paranoia and secrecy at every level made it hard to stick to the emphasis on technology and business models.

Journalist Randy Barrett from Interactive Week writes on Netpond: Hi. Had an interesting chat with Lee Noga of Cyber Erotica. They're getting hammered on chargebacks and that's the main reason, she says, they're cutting back on payments. Lee also mentioned the whole industry is under pressure. How much heat are you guys feeling economically? Will the small adult webmaster survive in the long run?

Dancing In The Dark

Esad writes: Dear Luke, A careful examination of Bruce Springsteen's HBO Concert Special will show Paul Fishbein caught dancing with some honey other than his very hot wife in the front row! Actually the moves Fishbein was doing could not be considered dancing, and his "date" looks alot like Vivid King, Steve Hirsch. According to my sources they only held hands during, "Two Hearts", and both were seen going to the bathroom together during "Mansion on the Hill".

XXX writes Luke: You want a hint at what's happening with AVN and Extreme? Read the magazine Adult Video News. The print edition. Look at April, for example. There's no more mention of Extreme or Gene Ross or Rob Black.

Who The Heck Is Flashman?

Lauren Montgomery writes: Luke, As of late, a guy going by the handle of "Flashman" has been contacting myself as well as a lot of other young ladies I know in the industry. No one seems to really know who the hell this guy is. I can tell you that all the girls honestly feel a bit concerned. My conversations with him have been very much like a conversation with a used car salesman. He seems to have verbal diarrhea and constantly name drops about things and people I could care less about. Not to mention the fact of telling me that he has spoken to certain girls and booked them on this and that. When I talk to those girls, they have no idea what he is talking about. They have never even met the guy. When I finally did manage to run into him at the XRCO awards, I was quite disturbed by the fact that he would not even look me in the eye. I am quite hesitant to do any sort of business with anyone who talks a lot of bulls--- and won't look you in the eye - what is he hiding? I don't want to sit and "rag" on someone I don't know - maybe he is a really nice guy? - but I really want to know who the hell is "Flashman". There are way too many bad people out there who love to prey on unsuspecting ladies in this industry - hence my protective stance here. Is there anyone out there who I know, love and respect in this industry who can vouch for him? Where did he come from? How long has he been around for? He seems to have just magically surfaced out of nowhere and a few unwary girls have been handing out girls phone numbers without reserve. His presence is concerning me a great deal. If anyone out there can really shine some light on this character for me it would be much appreciated by me and a lot of other female talent. HELP!

Luke says: I've been hearing from Flashman for 18 months or so... He's been hanging around the industry for ten plus years... He supposedly gets girls into porn and into strip clubs and magazines...

Flashman says: Luke, listen. Being a nice Jewish boy, I am not proud what I am going to tell you. But it is unbelievably exact. I am the number one booker for guys who want to date porn stars. Guys who have a couple of thousand dollars who want a date with the top [porn] girls in the country.

Even the 8:40 redeye [flight] from Los Angeles back to JFK [airport in NY] tonight, there are three girls on their way tonight ready to entertain Wall Street. I am not so proud of it, but it pays the bills in Santa Monica.

I've got 34 major porn stars between now and the Fourth of July doing "Date A Porn Star" in New York City. And the girls are making as much as $40,000 clear. And they're saying that in Las Vegas and Los Angeles, they're lucky to get $500 for an hour. But in New York, they get $2000 an hour.

Luke, one night if I get good and drunk, I might give you the 34 porn girls who are going to New York City to do "Date A Porn Star." Actually, Gene Ross, the last time I talked to him, said, 'Would you just give me the list, Flash, of the girls who've turned you down?'

I'll be honest. Of the 41 [porn] girls I've interviewed, seven turned me down and I have 34 on contract.

By the way, Mirage, the beautiful asian girl who likes you, and accepted the award for Kid Vegas, the girl who only does girl-girl and is doing Playboy and will be in femme fatale magazine, she actually is fantastic and she's crazy about Luke F-rd and she is even considering New York City. The money is so good. Some of the girls are clearing $10,000 a night. They say that in New York City, $2000 to go out with a beautiful blonde porno starlet from Hollywood isn't much. And they're actually tipping a $1000, some of the Wall Street executives. When the stock market is up, their cocks are up, and they spend money.

Scott Lawrence writes: Flashman is a pimp? No wonder he can't look the girls in the eye.

Jeremy Steele Support Group

Mike McCormick aka QuasarmanRants.com writes: I'd just like to announce that a support group is now forming for survivors of yesterday's Luke F-rd Live program which featured one the most heinous terrorist attacks ever perpetrated on US soil. I'm speaking of course about Jeremy Steele's "unplugged" performance. Ammonium nitrate fertilizer, anthrax spores and sarin gas combined could not inflict as much damage. Traumatized survivors and families of the victims please submit your email address to Luke F-rd who owes it to this country to help organize this very important support group effort.

David writes: I wouldn't say Steele's compositions were limited musically but I did notice most of his melodies ripped off "One Note Samba."

Jeremy Steele writes: Hey Luke, Are you sure you want me to play any more music on your show, again, or what? All you've posted are people that think my music sucks. Yet, you said everyone on some live chatroom was pleading for more, and James D was giving me major props. Whatzup? I'm surprised that anyone who doesn't have a bias or agenda, like Mike McCormick, Lynn L-patin, or Mike South (who's hired my ex) would say my two prerecorded tracks suck. In fact, I pity the fools. If you expect me to volunteer my time, I'd expect to hear more positive reponses than negative.. Otherwise, I'll yield to the majority opinion displayed and bow out.

Luke replies: Yes, do some more music...Yeah, there was a lot of negative response in the chat room, but some of these people there loved it... It's tough being an artist, you know that.

Jeremy writes: When you display just negative opinions, it's like displaying the results of a survey. I'm not asking for a slanted view.. In fact.. I'm begging against it. L-patin, South and McCormick are not objective listeners.. their opinions are predetermined. I know what McCornhead is gonna say before he says it. His sarcasm is always the same. And I'm sure Luke F-rd Worshipper/Dave Hardman saturday morning cartoon tattooed mental case stalker Lynn L-patin, if I had actually been yielding to her obsessed advances, would have no such animosity to my music. She said in chat something to the effect of how I'm an example of why kids should be exposed to more good music. I guess the retard doesn't remember when she invited herself to my place, seeing my vinyl album collection, which exceeds over 1,500 LP's, in addition to about 600 cassette tapes, and over 300 CD's. !

Most of my record collection includes classic rock from the 60's and 70's. I also understand the misery loves company, and those who can't create love to destroy those who can. Nothing is more sad and dispicable than worthless louts who's main preoccupation is sitting around and trying to make fun of and passing cynical judgement and looking down from an imagainary precipice.. trying to perceive anything they can so to look down and spit on others. I'm glad these worldly critics have a means to divert their attention from their miserable lives.

Ok, I apologize...Actually, I've just listened to myself live and realize I sound quite nasal.. s---.. I've just got over a bug.. Was doing some S.A.G. extra work at Zuma beach for three days, then did a U2 video and it was cold and rainy... So, I've been stuffed up.. Plus, singing into a phoner with my neck compressed against it didn't allow me to sing as well as I can. But if you listen to my two songs prerecorded, you'll hear what I sound like, normally.

Mike aka QuasarmanRants.com replies:

"Those who can't create love to destroy those who can." - Jeremy Steele

"Those who create hideous monsters should be destroyed" - Quasarman

Q writes: For the record Jeremy, I studied at the Royal Conservatory of Music in Canada. I've toured Canada and the Eastern United States in several bands and I actually had a job at Universal Studios where I was PAID to sing . Not that any of that gives me reason to boast because they are meager accomplishments in the grand scheme of things and at the end of the day I've amounted to nothing more noble than a Director of pornography but I just wanted to illustrate that it's not because of jealousy or because I "can't create" that I criticize you. I truly believe that you have no musical talent whatsoever. I am not alone in this belief either. I do think you're a pretty decent woodsman however. Can't that be enough?

Julia Parton's Autobiography

Jason Sechrest writes: With "Saving Jezebel," the legendary Julia Parton hopes to enlighten a new generation of sex screen starlets while opening the minds of industry outsiders.

(LOS ANGELES, CA) -- Julia Parton, once tabloid fodder for her rumored connection to a certain country-western songstress, said her goodbyes to the world of adult entertainment on February 22nd, 2001, with a final live performance on Danni's Hard Drive (www.danni.com).

But don't think you've heard the last from her just yet! At the urging of close friends and various publishing houses, Parton has finally agreed to bring the story of her life to the printed page. "Saving Jezebel" will cover the icon's gamut of professions including feature dancer, magazine publisher, photographer, adult film actress, B-movie legend, and more. It also promises to expose her most personal traumas, leading up to the automobile accident that nearly ended her life in December of 1999.

"The year I spent recovering from the injuries was the first time I ever sat still long enough to question where I was and how I got there. I came to realize I wasn't very happy with where I'd ended up," says Parton.

To assist her in transcribing the tell-all, "Saving Jezebel" will be Parton's story as told by Jason Sechrest. "I've known Jason for years and have always loved the work he's done as a journalist," explains Parton, "but it wasn't until he interviewed me recently for a retrospective piece on my career that I realized how comfortable I felt talking to him. I've had such a hard time finding someone I wanted to tell my story to, but during our interview it became very clear to me that he was who I wanted. I have a lot of very personal, somewhat shocking stories to reveal and the great thing about Jason is that he's not easily shocked and he will never judge you. He's a lot like me actually. We both want to say similar things with this book."

Parton and Sechrest are interested in opening readers' minds towards sexuality and the adult genre, while giving the industry's newcomers a list of dos and don'ts. Sechrest says: "Julia learned a lot of life's lessons the hard way and she is genuinely interested in giving the next round of starlets a guide to follow. Her life has been a roller coaster and my hope is that anyone who gets on that ride via her story comes away from it with a new perspective on women in her profession. I think the majority of the population tends to view women like her as being very one-dimensional. If anyone is going to break that stereotype with their life story, it's going to be Julia."

Laurie Holmes Marries Tony Montana

Dirk Diggler writes: History repeats itself.

John Holmes gets HIV.
John Holmes marries Laurie Rose (AKA Misty Dawn).
John Holmes dies.

Tony Montana gets HIV.
Tony Montana marries Laurie Holmes.
I expect Tony has a great big life insurance policy, just like John did.

From her web site:

laurie says,"So... from Mrs. Holmes-Montana to all of you out there - just remember the light at the end of the tunnel maybe you!" (Tue 9:00pm)

laurie says,"guess no body is on tonight.... try back later." (Tue 8:59pm)

laurie says,"And the wedding night...mmm..... nothing like being f---ed like a bride with a veil..." (Tue 8:59pm)

laurie says,"I have to admit, I looked like an Angel.. " (Tue 8:58pm)

laurie says,"I will be adding some of the wedding pictures and video soon to the gallerie. " (Tue 8:58pm)

laurie says,"what an ass...." (Tue 8:57pm)

laurie says,"It was a nice wedding ceremony, and reception afterwards... and Sharon Mitchell wiggling her ass dancing salsa...mmm....!" (Tue 8:57pm)

laurie says,"The lucky man...Tony Montana, of course!" (Tue 8:57pm)

laurie says,"I got married this last weekend" (Tue 8:56pm)

laurie says,"is anyone out there tonight" (Tue 8:56pm)

laurie says,"I just logged on! Hi everybody!" (Tue 8:56pm)

Yahoo Dips Into Porn

From LATimes.com: Yahoo's decision to become porn's online middleman reflects the desperation of Internet companies to find new sources of revenue amid a slowing economy. It also underscores a long-standing truism about porn and the Net--sex sells.

Yahoo officials declined to discuss the erotic video outlet or say why the company is expanding its offerings. The "adult and erotica" store, connected to Yahoo's main shopping channel, was quietly expanded and relaunched in recent weeks as part of a companywide effort to offset a sharp drop in advertising sales, according to merchants tied to the online shop.

AlienX@SinCityFilms.com writes to the LA Times: Ya hurt my feelings today, broke my heart actually... I thought you would see the innovation behind it all, and you must realise that people, adult entertainment and the web in general rely on each other. Companies that do not use adult entertainment in there sites whether it be product or an adult media service are truly missing an aspect of being truly human and thus miss the mark of success by not embracing an important part of us all. It's not a matter of money, it's matter of addressing all aspects of human nature on the web. Your article certainly helped sales, but not the people that work hard in the mainstream world. Today many people at Yahoo will loose money and there well being. The article you wrote and it's candor probably costed individual investor's of whom have families to support, million's of dollars in total. Rather than see the innovation and it's positive nature you were arrogant and self rightious for your own reasons. We in the adult world do not like the term "Pornography" pornography is illegal. You helped the Adult industry and hurt a Mainstream company when you could have writtin something that is good for everyone involved.

LA TIMES WRITES: Honestly, I'm confused by your mail... Yahoo told me, very clearly and very late in the day and very much off the record, that this was a pure cash play. Pure. I asked them about whether this was a push to expand the technological boundaries, or to develop new business models, or to broaden out an aspect of their online community. Their answer was very, very clear: This is about us making money. We need profits. We're going to have layoffs. This is one way we can increase our e-commerce revenues, and ultimately we won't have to lay-off as many people. You wouldn't go on the record about Sin City's pending deal. Which, of course, I respect. But it ties my hands, writing-wise.

As for the issue of this story hurting Yahoo's stock-price, or damaging the company image, that's not true. If anything, it proved that they are willing to break into new markets. Wall Street analysts are actually praising the move. The fact that Yahoo announced it would have layoffs, but would actually break even in its second quarter, is the reason that the company's stock price rose in after-hours trading. I'm sorry that you feel slighted, and heaven knows I never meant to hurt your feelings. But honestly, this was a very straight-forward story. The mail I've received from Yahoo today backs that up. Give me a shout at work if you want to talk, or want to yell/whatever...

AlienX@SinCityFilms.com replies: Alien: Well It is rough for us here, many of our friends work at Yahoo and the choice of headline was astounding. Pornography is a harsh word, and it rings bell's. Maybe I was just simply shocked and over reacted, and the article seemed to just add salt to the wound with Yahoo's Quarterly report. I thank you very much for not tieing our name to your article for mass consumption at this point in history. But yes Yahoo did beat Wall Street's estimate, and one can only hope that companies like Yahoo will work with and respect our industry. Our industry will never achieve respectability if we are guised and dressed with words that describe a criminal nature surely you must realise this. But none the less forgive my over reaction and we should talk again when your looking for something.... Uh, off the wall:)

Luke Gets Mail

Paul writes: I find it odd to read your site now. When you've been away from porn for a while it seems incredible that the porn world actually exists; surely I just wet-dreamed it. Understand me, that's not meant as a judgement; I also find it weird that the people at the Pentagon sit around all day discussing how to end the world efficiently should the need arise. But - and this is heartfelt - I'd be looking for an exit if I were you. There's nothing wrong with the porn world per se (although one could make the argument there's little right about it.) It was a fun nut-house to visit. But who'd want to live there! Who'd want to be immersed so totally, deeply in something that is so purposely nasty and sleazy and humourless (I use those words knowing they express exactly the quality that is attractive to so many people - and maybe you too.) Finally - and this is the worst insult I can level against porn - it gets to be rather boring... and then, quickly, totally numbing. I know that happened to me -- and I was in for a very clear purpose, for a relatively short period of time; I had the luxury of staying shy of the expiry date on my tender soul. Of course it's got its decent people -- alone, I liked many of them -- and at times porn is downright sexy. But mostly it's dealing in human misery and what flows from that. How stimulating can that be?! People on the front lines in all sorts of professions dealing with human wrecks -- the back road street workers where the wrecks pile up -- never last long before they burn out. Then - having accomplished something, or not - they move on....

Butthole Lee writes: Well I've tried posting numerous messages ever since you broke the story and still nothing, not even a reply to me as to why my messages are not being posted [on RAME]. I know I am not the only one out there with this problem. I think the main guy behind me being blacklisted is the moderator FRANZ, I think this person has some serious problems and is taking his power a lil to far. I mean lets be real, this guy is probably a janitor at some high school and this lil power he has on RAME he abuses, he is like a hall monitor, I told him exactly this in an email to him and I guess the truth hurt him so bad that he will continue to blacklist me. Luke email me back bro, I mean let me know whos all emailing you, I know I am not the only one on the blacklist maybe the others just don't read your site. I also told this FRANZ guy one time that I think RAME should basicly be open I mean he should be a moderator to make sure there aren't flames going back and forth and stuff like that and no SPAM but he shouldn't just not post something because of a dislike for someone, that is quite childish I think, Luke will you ask the readers of your website to comment on this, I think you and me and your readers can help make RAME a much better place than it is. Thanx for reading Luke, type to ya later.

Scott Lawrence writes: Hello Luke,glad you had a good passover! Actually I was worried about you while you were gone, what with your newfound industry acceptantance at XRCO (even as you singlehandly deprive the Canucks of ppv porn), blowjob movie offers, phone calls from Jamie Gillis (brr...mp3 that, will ya) and all this talk about Jewish swingers, I feared you lost the good fight,perhaps swallowed up by those snakes in your CFS phantasms,succumbing to dark temptations, becoming a Dirk Diggler of the 21st century. Another statistic. I don't believe you'd handle this lifestyle well-I see it now,as clearly as that 900 psychic line Jamaican broad...in a industry that encourages immature behavior and showboating,the "unpleasant personality"Luke who was rejected from casting calls for "Friends" or something would return,leading to fights and the loss of good friends like Spallone and JimmyD.

The void might be filled with drugs, the downward spirial going from VCA to f---ing ugly chicks in Camp Erotica 2.Or worse.Perhaps teaming up with Jamie Gillis in a Rob Black reunion of THE NASTY BOYS-"EAT KOSHER SALAMI vol.1".You and Jamie kidnap "17 year-old"nuns, forcing them to take milk baths and raping them through a hole in the sheet,tellin' em you killed Christ facef---ing one while Jamie shoves gefelite fish up her ass.One of the nuns is a Brazilian post-op(who knew?) resulting in you working with those plague carriers at Evil Angel. Actually I believe you're too smart to fall into the trap.

If this scenario started,you would probably have an epiphany standing next to Lexington Steele on the set of Gangbang Girl 69 ("his,mine...what the f--- am I doing here?!!?") and get yourself to rehab. And since your a man (and a Jew!) there will always be a place for you in La Kosher Nostra. A return to directing perhaps.Certainly not working at Burger King like Brandy Alexander.Or hooking on The Big Doggie. THE future for most porn whores (well, they can always go "read" for Robert Lombard).

Glad you're here Luke. So glad I won't even be ugly with pissy replies to Farrell Timlake. And by the Homegrown banner,I'm glad to see you are getting some $$$ to compensate for Timlake's diarrhea of the mouth! Because at homegrown.com we believe in ugly people having sex,AIDS conspiracies and brothers with funny names.

Michael writes: At first, i must say to you, that i come from Germany and my english is not so good, sorry!! Than i must say, that i´ve been a very very big fan from pornstar Olivia, really!! I read with stare the interviews from you and Olivia. I think to me, is this really? Olivia is a so wonderfull dreamwoman and she has a lot of very bad luck in her life!! Terrible, she has really my sympathy!!

Be connected with the fantastic Olivia have i got two questions. Do you know, at this, or in the nealy time makes Olivia some more new porn film, or not? When not, it is a big loss for me and the some other fans from Olivia!! Than i want to know, have you got a eMail adress, or a adress of a Hompage from Olivia, because i can write Olivia personality encouragement and some other nice things?! I will be make not a joke with you, or Olivia but i mean it not bad, but also good and nice, really!!

Scott Lawrence replies: Michael, why worry about Olivia's new movie or email address when, for a few hundred dollars, you can f--- AND counsel Olivia in person! She hooks, I mean "provides entertainment"- try hooking(ahem) up with her at The Big Doggie whore board. As you are German with not so good English, don't worry-I read the lovely Olivia is "fluent in all languages".

Chaim Amalek writes Luke: I would be proud to write such a letter on your behalf, my son. What is your rabbi's full name, address, and email address?

PS You know, it would be a hell of a lot easier to get you on the Stern show if your "friend" Kendra Jade ever bothered to put in a good word on your behalf. I called them today and ended up talking to some guy named KC, who directed me to send him a fax or email. Why doesn't Kendra do this for you?

Greta writes: I started a yahoogroup dedicated to what I think is the hottest pornstar ever Nancy Suiter. (I even pasted your little blurb on her into the club description) (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NancySuiter)

I only have about 300 members but it seems like they are all desperate to know what happened to her. Your bio on her is almost purposely vague. (white slavery in Japan!?)

In The Name Of Amalek The Blessed

Ten to one this yeshiva bachur knows exactly what you are up to, and wants you to set him up on a date with some hot shiksa porn zona. Again I return to the KJ issue; the more I think about it, the less respect I have for her. After all that you have done for her, both as Luke F-rd and as "Chaim Amalek", she still won't get off her behind to do you this minimal favor. What sort of a friend is that? Kendra if you are reading this, remember the words of the Prophet: "Oh ye nonbelievers who fail to help the servants of the Prophet [Luke] know this - for they shall quench their thirst with the sweat of a thousand mules and never see the glories of the host of myrmidons." Don't let that be your story, Kendra. Start lobbying the jew Howard Stern and the jew Melvin Karmizan NOW to get Luke on the Stern show!

How are the McRib sandwiches I sent you via FedEx? There is no shame in the son of a Christian minister enjoying a good pork rib sandwich on this or any day. But there is shame in a porn star who refuses to help out her old friend Luke F-rd.

PS You have had dealings with E! before. Why not use them to get your own show? At the very least, they could videotape your radio show and edit it down to a half hour or so the way they do the Stern show, with various telegenic cuties (including any from porn) thrown in for filler. Then you'll see all manner of "friends" coming in from the woodwork to join the Luke F-rd Express Train to Fame and Wealth.

Falsified HIV Test

Porn star Kaylynn writes: Hey Luke! Please make this information available through your website as it concerns all members of the Adult Industry:

"Please be aware that a male "performer", Mitchell Brennenman, a.k.a. "Max Steele", submitted a falsified HIV test on a set this past Sunday, April 9th, 2001. The test was an altered copy of an HIV test collected and reported by AIM Healthcare. The last current test AIM has on file for this individual is dated February 21st, 2001, and good through March 21st, 2001. Both AIM Healthcare and the "performer's" agent, World Modeling Agency has been contacted and has in their possession a copy of the falsified HIV test. I encourage all producers and performers alike, to take a very careful look at all HIV tests, as they are easy to alter."

Luke says: According to AIM, Max Steele's latest HIV test shows him to be HIV negative.

Disillusioned With The Fifth Estate

Canada's version of 60 Minutes, the investigative team of The Fifth Estate, recently ran a program about degrading pornography on Canadian satellite channels.

Mdl wrote a complaining email to the program and received a form response. He writes them back:

I know that this is pointless but let me try.

Your e-mail response does not address any of the concerns I expressed in my communication. My concern was not related the graphic nature of the images, but to THE QUALITY OF THE REPORTING.

Let me run it down in detail.

Luke F-rd is a loon.

Did anyone bother to read his web site. Two hours in the archive would have told you he was not a suitable source for a reputable documentary. I sent him the same e-mail I sent you and he could only provide several nameless women who claimed serious injury on a porn set. One woman was mentioned by name but there is no way to know if her story is true because Mr. Ford is pretty upfront about being a gossip as opposed to a journalist. Again 15 minutes in the archive on his site would have provided all the information you needed to understand what he provided was opinion not fact. Add to that, none of these alleged incidents took place on the sets you showcased in your program.

And Rob Black.

He is not making bags of money, New Frontier and Belle Vu Express maybe, but Mr. Black is rumored to be on the verge of bankruptcy. He produces and distributes little of what you had on display. He is not a typical porn director or even a particularly successful one. Did you check the sales figures on his last 10 film?. Did you review his financial statements? Rob Black IS one of 3 producer/directors willing to provide the dog and pony show you apparently wanted to show your viewers.

The people that actually produced or directed the majority of the bondage videos you used are likely well spoken, first amendment geeks who would have provided you with some thoughtful material. They would have been articulate, probably straight and far less likely to excite repulsion.

Finally, you send me a long thoughtful e-mail, that gives no indication it was mass mailed, Yet it must have been, because it addresses none of my concerns. Concerns about the quality and veracity of the reporting, which I believe are much more serious than what pictures you used.

I used to think you were an honest bunch. I used to respect, believe in and be proud of the shows you produced. At my age I assumed that pretty much anything that could have disillusioned me -- had already. You cannot imagine the overwhelming sadness I feel -- being able to equate The Fifth Estate with Hard Copy is not a pleasure for me.

XRCO Awards

Many people wondered what happened to Bill Margold and Jim Holliday at last week's XRCO Awards.

XXX writes: "Margold had a FSC-related meeting to check out a venue for an upcoming VSDA event. Holliday has been having some minor health problems which involve tiring easily. Now he's doing much better."

Flashman says: An FBI agent was at the XRCO Awards looking for a couple of porn star fugitives.

About six porn stars got so drunk that they left their cars parked at the club until Friday.

Gene Ross won a bet with the Flashman. Traci Lords said she'd be at the show and she was a no-show.

I want to apologize to Stephanie Swift for the joke I made about her going out with young guys. I commented that they looked about 17, the young boyfriends she always brings to the various events... And she snapped at me, 'Flash, are you still dating those 13-year old bimbos?'

After the XRCO Awards, there was a great after party at Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion. Upstairs, Cumisha Amado got naked and showed off her new tits to everybody. Darla Crane exposed herself. But nothing like last year when Jewel DeNyle pissed on that person. But lots of old time girls came around like Porsche Lynn, Sharon Mitchell, Veronica Hart, Kelly Nichols.

Lovette looked spunky with her new boobs.

Valentino gave Mirage a business card with his penis on it. She got a kick out of that.

Don Fernando wants to shoot Mirage in some Hustler Asian Fever stuff.

Superagent Mark "Shylock" Spiegler brought in Bamboo, the girl with the perfect tits. Vietnamese, from France, doesn't speak English. She's 4'11", 90 pounds with the biggest tits ever.

Superagent Derek King brought in some foxy ebony chicks.

There were no fistfights this year but several female stars got tipsy and they left cars in the parking lot at the Century Club and picked them up the next morning. I confirmed that over ten people were unable to drive home and took taxis and limos.

Cumisha Amado brought the E! Channel along.

I finally reached Rocco Siffredi by phone and he was excited that he was nominated by XRCO but he was shooting in Europe. Kobe Tai has a two month old healthy baby and couldn't attend. Larry Flynt wasn't feeling well.

Mia Smiles didn't come with Chris Cannon. Some inside problem going on...

Three porn stars called me to say they couldn't find the Century Club.

I can tell you who didn't show and why. One person is very ill in the hospital. One porn girl was detained by police that evening on a prostitution bust. And one prominent star had to see her psychiatrist in Beverly Hills.

Porn stars tell me that lots of porn stars are hanging out at the Hustler gentleman's club on Santa Monica Blvd.

Adult and Mainstream Talent Blend

Robert Lombard writes: "THE DEEP END" for Mainline Releasing an R rated Erotic Thriller filming from April 9th through April 10th. Feature film stars the return of B movie starlet MONIQUE PARENT opposite Dan Anderson. SUPPORTING LEAD and CO-STAR roles are handled by: KERI WINDSOR, TJ HART, JAMES BONN, ANGELICA SIN and former Private Contract Star, WANDA CURTIS.

ALANA EVANS will be Guest Starring in her FIRST MAINSTREAM ROLE in the R rated series "THE VOYEUR". The first episode of 27 half hours has Alana playing Stephanie in "Three's Company". A woman uses her boyfriend to seduce a virgin girlfriend (Alana Evans), and the sexual newcomer shows herself to be quite the master of physical passion and pleasure.

Robert Madison, Jeremy Steele On Luke F-rd Live

Elegant Angel director Robert Madison was our first guest this afternoon, followed by porn stars Kendra Jade and Jeremy Steele in the second hour. Listen here to this special heartwarming Passover edition of Luke F-rd Live. Read the chat.

Check out Jeremy Steele's songs at http://www.mp3.com/jeremysteele

Our topic will be this difficult question: Should a religious Jew break the Sabbath to save the life of a non-Jew? A check of the major sources of Jewish Law (the Talmud, the Rambam and the Shulchan Aruch) indicate that a Jew should not break the Sabbath to save the life of a non-Jew.

Lynne writes Luke: I promise never to have sex with anyone again, Luke, if only to keep you from having them as guests on your radio show in order to punish me by forcing me to confront my mistakes as I satisfy my longings to hear your honey-roasted voice.

Jeremy Steele calls: Luke, thanks for having me on today. I'm curious. I checked out the "Read the chat" part on your site and that seemed to be a totally different text of conversation, a lot of it was negative people like Lynne and Mike South and other people saying I suck. I'm curious because apparently a lot of people were really digging my music and apparently that was some other live chat. And I wondered if you have the transcript of that.

Why Is This Web Site Different From All Other Web Sites?

Chaim Amalek writes Luke: Do you secretly pine for a Big Mac during Passover? Or how about a Wendy's Trippple Chesseburger with fries? With which of the four proto-sons of the hagadah do you identify? Or do you feel most closely aligned with a mere kid goat purchased for a couple of zuzim?

I suggest that instead of the usual jimmyd shtick tomorrow, you have an ersatz passover seder for all the shut-in porn fans who listen in. Make JimmyD ask the four questions.

Cheyenne Silver's Ex-Boyfriend Speaks Out

Gregory Beaumont writes: Luke; Thank you for calling on March 30 regarding [Vivid girl] Cheyenne Silver. It seems the interview stirred the "pot" quite a bit. I'm sorry for all the negative attention given to Cheyenne, thats one thing I never wanted.

Please understand that Cheyenne is a seriously troubled girl. Yes, much of the gossip, I admit, may certainly be true. But it is not my position to affront those who may know or have worked with Cheyenne. The people at Vivid have some issues to deal with given the letters posted on your site regarding web sites and their dealing with public relations. Inept children should not attempt what professionals are most competent in doing.

Being called the "adult" film industry doesn't always reflect in those who are a part of it. It has been my experience that many are very insecure and really don't know what capacity they hold but try to emulate some kind of facade of decorum. The cleanest pig in the yard is still a pig; especially when viewed from the other side of the fence.

I most definitely will not be a part of some campaign to sling mud against Cheyenne, Vivid, or their employees. I have been contacted in the last few days by many who want more information; I am well informed and know what problems exist but I would opt to refrain from publicly ridiculing anyone; their own actions are the rewards they must shoulder. My life is not about prattling on with negative information about others unless it concerns me.

My mother always said, "Every challenge you face, win or lose, is a learning experience.... go forth and become educated." I have learned a great deal about the torment and self destructive nature that is the beast of the adult film world. I was present during an interview with Ron Jeremy at CES on relationships; his observations are direct and very relevant. Relationships are hard, relationships in the porn industry are extremely hard if not impossible.

I wish the best for Cheyenne in her career and her life as always. I will not reflect on the the bad in her for I loved her very much; why stain the memory of riding horseback with her over the trails and forest, our bodies touching and moving with Natures mood through the pines knowing this is what life is about; this is love.

She can be a loving, wonderful person. I may sound defensive especially seeing the comments from your readers, considering most were very accurate. For me to damn her would reflect on my character. I would much rather remember the beautiful Cheyenne than a troubled girl with a bad reputation and questionable personal habits.

The one thing I must articulate to your readers and to friends of Cheyenne is that she needs help. Your reader replies reflected that clearly. Luke, I would ask you, as a man, who seems empathetic, to contact Vivid directly to see what you can do to help; at least make the effort.

Reporting the news may be your claim, but please, have some compassion for a girl who is in need. Give it a try, extending a hand works. More individuals in the industry should learn that this is not just a "quick buck for an easy f---" world. There are those in the industry who need help; Cheyenne being one.

Yes, my ordeal with her was difficult and yes I knew she was involved in the the many things people have asserted. Many times I have held my head in my hands yelling "IM SUCH A FOOL" and have cried. Its hard loving someone who hides behind lies for survival. Everyone does make choices in life and mine was to not throw her out and confirm her problems. Resurrecting life's sorrow and mistakes is counterproductive and bad karma. I simply tried to help.

I appreciate the nice words by some of your readers but assert that I'm nothing more than someone who cares; and try not to focus on the negatives. If I can give one word of advice to your readers it is to "learn to love" everyone around you. Stop with the hurt. Compassion for your fellow workers, lovers, or anyone else goes a long way in life. You all have the ability to be as beautiful or ugly as you wish. You will hold dear those times when someone has been sheltered from the pain that life bears. Maybe, just maybe, you will see that your efforts are rewarded. Maybe one day you will need that compassion.

In parting, I thank you, Luke, for reporting the news with consideration of the person you are writing about. Your restraint should be commended in not publishing until you confirmed the rumors. Keep up the good work and keep your door open to anyone in need.

In my goodbye letter to Cheyenne, the ending read....

" Where are you, my beloved Star? The obscurity of life has cast me upon its bosom; sorrow has conquered me. Sail your smile into the air; it will reach and enliven me! Breathe your fragrance into the air; it will sustain me.

Where are you, my beloved?
Oh, how great is Love!
And how little am I......

"Let my tears bathe you, let my blood warm you, and allow my soul to keep you safe."

May those that really care about Cheyenne show it. My door will always be open.