Sunday,
February 18th, 2001
Porn Star Nina Suave Cries Rape
PornoDave writes: Lukey, Let's see how well of a reporter you are in digging into facts. We [TalkingBlue.com] reported on this story a YEAR ago. The media are finally picking up on it. If you want to know who the porn starlet is and with a photo, you have to dig through our archives. It's there. This is a game. If you don't get it in the next day or two. We'll have to post the findings and out scoop you again. The clock starts ticking ......... NOW
Heather Barron writes: Luke, I don't know who this alleged victim in Covina is but anyone who claims they were "coerced" to have sex 10 TIMES should definitely consider a different career path. PS. Does this mean Rick James is releasing a new CD?
Luke says: Is it Nina Suave (Eileen Rodriguez), the former Hustler Erotic Video Guide columnist? She's part of the Las Vegas Eleven.
You can write to her fan club at PO Box 3902, Ontario, CA 91761.
From http://www.talkingblue.com/archive/nina_suave_and_the_stalker.htm
Retired porn starlet Nina Suave has remerged as a house dancer at the Tropical Lei dance club in Upland, CA and recently reported to Hustler Erotic Video's Sid Deuce that she has acquired a fan that just wont go away.
Suave reports that she met her paramour when she did private shows for him, ultimately having sex with him. She must have been pretty damn good because now the trick just won't go away, Suave tells Deuce. The stalker has repeatedly showed up at the strip club looking for the buxom dancer, prompting Suave to threaten to call the police.
From Luke's notes on Nina Suave:
Nina Suave leads a busy life between looking after her two children, performing in adult movies such as Anal Avenue, dancing at clubs and private parties, writing a regular column for HEVG, and loving her boyfriend of 15 years. Nina says he's a voyeur who likes to watch her f---.
The other side of the whore in the bedroom is the maid in the kitchen. Crucifixes hang on her kids' bedroom walls, and ever-changing grade school artwork sticks to the refrigerator door. The family says grace before meals.
From LATimes.com: A woman whose ex-husband is accused of raping a female porn star pleaded not guilty Thursday to trying to dissuade the woman from testifying against him.
Rebecca Ethel Holland, 33, of Los Angeles is accused of threatening the woman with revealing her adult film career to the mainstream media--with photos--if she took the witness stand in the upcoming trial.
As part of of her effort to prevent the 29-year-old Covina woman from testifying, police said, Holland called her and posed as a CNN reporter from Australia seeking to cover the case. Sheriff's detectives got that message, Australian accent and all, on audiotape, and another conversation.
"This strikes at the very heart of the integrity of the judicial system," said Deputy Dist. Atty. Christina Weiss. "She masqueraded as a news reporter trying to get a story." Holland, who works at a Bed, Bath & Beyond in the Beverly Center, is a part-time actress who has appeared on television shows such as "JAG" and "The District."
Ronald Holland, 56, is charged with 22 felony counts, including multiple counts of rape, kidnapping for ransom and forced oral copulation. He and his alleged victim met last March while making a private video of the two of them having sex. They developed a relationship but, once it soured, Holland allegedly said he was a parole officer and threatened to imprison her unless she fulfilled his sexual fantasies. The woman has no criminal record, so it is unclear why the alleged threat made an impact.
Rebecca Holland, who lives with her ex-husband...
Luke asks: Who is the 29-year old Covina woman in this story who is alleging she was raped?
Actor Played Parole Officer To Get Sex
From Apb.com:
LOS ANGELES (APBnews.com) -- A Los Angeles man is charged with raping a former girlfriend by impersonating a parole officer and coercing the adult-film actress to have sex with him.
Ronald R. Holland, 56, an actor, pleaded not guilty Wednesday in Los Angeles Superior Court to 21 felony counts of having unlawful sex under color of authority and additional charges of kidnapping with intent to commit rape.
The victim was a 29-year-old Covina woman who works in adult entertainment. Her name was not released to protect her privacy.
Holland and the woman met while filming a private pornographic film, then went on to have a romantic relationship that spanned several months, said Los Angeles County Sheriff's Deputy Tim Barker, who is investigating the case.
But the relationship soured when Holland learned his girlfriend was still making porn. He later returned and gave her phony paperwork that said she was on parole under his guidance, Barker said.
From September to November of this year, he allegedly coerced sex from her.
"She honestly felt she was on parole under this person's guidance," Barker said. "He had her convinced that he could have her arrested and thrown in jail if she didn't do what he wanted."
Jenny Jones Porn Scam
FT writes: Black adult video actress Kitten is on with someone who used to >tease her and who has not seen her in 10 years, funny how he is also >a porn actor, or at least was, and she claims she is going to be a >"sex therapist". Just more proof >these shows are all bogus.
Brandy Alexandre replies: Jenny Jones is a joke and a sell-out. It proves how little respect people who go on the show have for themselves and the truth. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked to appear on talk shows under strange guises. Anything for a few bucks, right?
Meni69: their producers call once in a while for guests, and basically let it be known its fun and they can lie about s---
What Happened To New York's Hot Channel?
Ridley99 writes on RAME.net: the spice channel here in New York usually switches over to the Hot channel at 10pm, well last night it didn't happen. it stayed spice. don't tell me the hot channel is gone. if it is, the Dubya Bush administration has made its first impact and as usual it is the porn fan and not the porn maker who pays.
MarMac writes: Man, I'll just bet ol' Bill and Hillary are quite upset over that!! I can just imagine them laying there, in their separate bedrooms, ready to watch some hot people get it on and not see the penetration and the facials. Hey! Maybe they'll call on Monica to come over and help them out!! I guess old Dubya is exacting his own revenge on them for ousting his old man!!
Porn Stars With Kids
Ridley99 writes: it has always made me wonder how a porn star can continue to work in pornography after having a kid. is it just me or does this seem wrong. hell when i have a kid the first thing i would do is jettison all my porn. quite a few ladies have kids, i wonder what kind of childhood that is when mom f---s for bucks. when a kid gets to be about 8 or 9 they have to know somethings up. what kind of social life does the kid have, do other moms let thier children play with the porn kid. how do the kids in school treat them. kids are cruel without ammunition but with porn boxcovers as fodder they can turn a life into a nightmare. can you imagine growing up in a household where Ron Jeremy and Tom Byron are uncle Ron and Uncle Tom. i know Jeanna Fine has a daughter, i also saw a playboy documentary where Tiffany Million was walking around with her daughter. i wonder how many porn stars have had kids and how many have quit the biz to raise kids.
AJB writes on RAME: Jeanna Fine has a seven year old son, not a daughter. I chatted with Jeanna Fine a couple weeks ago (she was dancing in a strip club in Toronto) and we happened to drift on to the topic of her being a mother. (I'm about 95% sure she said she has a son.) We didn't speak of it in great detail but I definitely got the vibe that she had tremendous love for her kid; and it seemed Jeanna was sure she'd never ultimately hide the essential facts from her son in the long run... dunno what the kid knows right now. She's stayed in the game long enough that, clearly, she's not going to bury all knowledge of it from him. And considering the shelf life of porn, there's a good chance a 7 year old son right now could, in 11 years, still see some Jeanna Fine DVDs in a discount bin somewhere or an internet video clip. So there's not much point in trying to hide things.
Lazar writes on RAME: even if they don't quit. just the record of video, how does some chick's son or daughter not feel humiliated or strange knowing guys jacked off to images of their mom's face being cummed on??? how about knowing that all the neighbors and friends all prob rented it just to see... also, what about the parents of porn stars, some support them etc..but honestly a little bizzare right? unless they just don't give a s--- and the kid is a meal ticket, like the college basketball players about to go pro and make 10 mil a year..suddenly DAD appears and wants to know and form a relationship w his son!! but really, imagine being the father of that chloe getting her face pissed on by a s--- head loser like max.....unless of course the dad is an absentee....
Terminology Of Porn Speak
Voyager7 writes on RAME:
Nasal Sex Penetration of the nostril with pecker. My guess found mostly in orange tinted euro tapes.
Natural vs. Implants, concerning tits that is.... (Felix Miata TM) 1-Scars. These are not always visible, but they're a giveaway when they are. The location most common in the early days was the crease underneath, but this is rather uncommon today. IIRC, Mirage aka Brianna Banks is one of the most recent porn victims of this form of mutilation. More common is the areola scar, evidenced by a bottom circumference that looks welted, while the top circumference looks normal. Often this scar misses a portion of the actual circumference, leaving obvious mis-aligned "joints", or stepping in the circumference. Many implants today are inserted through incisions in remote locations, like armpit or navel, where scars are rarely evident.
2-Puckers, wrinkles or ripples. These are rare in natural breasts and uncommon in modest implants, but nearly universal among overboosted porn wimmenz. Think of how a cheap plastic beach ball or raft looks at the seams, particularly when over or under inflated. Puckering is not very common when the pornstress is standing, but in nearly any other basic position, and particularly when in doggy, when the implant is pulled by gravity into a non-preferred position, puckering will be evident at the sides.
3-Unnatural shapes. Breasts come in zillions of shapes, so it's tough to define unnatural. Basically it amounts to any type of curvature that appears counter to gravitational pull. An example of this is an under breast that starts to make a typical curve up away from the chest wall (common among small breasts), but then droops, like a thick liquid spilling over the edge of a spoon or spatula. Adjacent to the chest wall the breast is very firm (a semi-circular implant), but a bit away from it soft (real breast). Often in doggy the breast nearest the chest moves little or none, while the outer portion flops liberally. Keisha & Sarah Jane Hamilton are examples of this that come to mind.
4-Excessive firmness. Mother nature pancakes real ones when she's on her back. If the cone shape changes little when pointed at the ceiling, they're plasticones.
5-Excessive size. Res ipsa loquitur. Naughtie Bit (Monty Python TM) Parts of the male and female anatomy which your mommie, school teacher told you not to touch. Parts of the male and female anatomy your priest, grandpa touched for you. :-)
OCV The girl's been attempting to deepthroat and is gagging horribly, she can't fit it all down. Suddenly the scene cuts and we're straight into mish. What's up with that? You just know there was some...OFF-CAMERA VOMIT!
One Day Wonder The time from when the drug deal went down to finance the porn production to the time a tape is ready to be duped on 2- headed dirty VCR's.
One handed Welcome (Adam Film World TM) See shelf life ~ as in she wore out her one handed welcome 40 movies ago 180 pound hemorrhoid (Torris TM )
Corollary to Floppy Rob (see in glossary), meaning in the case of a porn starlet, in this case Dee, who will only let her suitcase pimp f--- her ass on film
P4P Porno For Pedos (Rog TM) The strong appeal to young, often pre-teen sexuality. Talk of teachers, daddies as well as clothing items and situations can all be included in this.
Paint brush (Riley TM) That's a wide racing stripe.(see racing stripe) Another pubic hairstyle.
Parolee Standard issue male pornstar, typically working for the compensation of cheeseburgers and gas money.
Panty Wrangler (Mike South TM) The guy, many times a suitcase pimp, who collects a pornstar's panties and other items after dancing on stage or the set of her previous porn scene.
PC gymnastics (Basement Child TM) (PC here for pubococcygneus!) Creatures such as Denni O and Tye who stretch their twats to engulf large dildos, the likes of the dwarf Napolian, and even some some city-states....
PL Pathetic Loser. Honorable term meant for those who frequent porn, stripclubs, and other tenderloin services Pile Driver Position where the girl is on the floor, her torso raised in the air at a 90 degree angle to her face. She is looking up at the parolee as he hovers over her, he is now able to have free access to her pussy and/or bunghole.
Platinum Tipped Sparkplug (Voyager TM) A clitoris of the highest order. Examples include Holly Ryder, Morgan Fairlane...
Plotted Porn Genre of porn where a storyline is intermingled with the sex
Plumper (Riley TM) Overweight girl
Puffy Nipples Found on a rare percentage of A and B cupped female breasts. Engorged areola, (colored area surrounding the nipple). At times appears to have just been released from the suction of a snake bite kit.
Pushy Woman (Riley TM) One not deferential to the males' constant needs. Tight small curls within her hair is a warning sign.
Q Quake (Frank Simmons TM) A particularly realistic-looking female orgasm captured for your viewing pleasure, complete with shudders, curled toes, a sigh of exhaustion and the "don't touch me" squirm.
Racing stripe (Riley TM) Starts at the top of the clitoral hood and terminates at the extreme top limit of where the normal inverted triangle of pubic hair would end. A pubic hairstyle.
Roccoolized (LuvBooty1 TM) The matriculation process when you slap or spit on a chicks face, stretch her asshole to ungodly proportions and the chick screams for more..... typically what a girl goes through in an italian-stallion-Rocco scene. Should she be grad. school material she will have to master the swirlie...
Raincoater 1) a porn viewer, typically male, whose idea of "good" porn encompasses gyno closeups, POV, anal with gapes (see gape), A2M all performed by any (number of) female(s). To a raincoater porn is about "raw unbridled unabridged sexuality" captured in the most clear and graphic way possible. To many porn viewers this is considered excessive. Raincoaters would remind those what Mae West said," The problem with 'too much' is wonderful." Raincoaters would be very interested in the cornholing, A2M antics, anal cream pie (see eclair) of Adrianna Huffington. It would not be political, in fact they would want her to totally enjoy it.
2) everything Phyllis Schlafly is not.
3) Morgagni Rangefed (Voyager TM) Lean girl, many times ribs are seen when she is doing doggy, RC... Many times can only guess where her next meal is coming from. Redbone A black female who's complexion is close to a caramel or rust. RC Reverse Cowgirl, where the girl mounts and rides cock in her pussy, her ass and back facing the parolee. Great position to view the female form.
RCA or RAC Reverse Cowgirl Anal, where the girl mounts and rides cock in her ass, her butt cheeks and back facing the parolee. The pussy is typically exposed in this position in its full glory, many times spawning a religious experience within the viewer.
Robo Slut (Torris TM) Standard issue Vivid, Wicked, VCA porn actress. Typically, dyed blond hair with dark roots (drapes never match the carpet) garish eyemakeup, long black hookerish eyelashes, pancake makeup to cover crows feet, suitcase pimp beatings, etc., bolt-ons (they better not have any "give" to them), C-section scar, lack of waist definition, hookerish platform heels.
Promoting Good Values In Adult Films
Cleverjester writes on RAME: In the interests of promoting good quality values in the adult film industry in our new coming century, here are some very solid hints from a Top 10 page torn fresh from The Guide For Future Video Directors:
1) Never use black and white or sepia tone, and don't spin the camera all around or constantly zoom in and out, or cut away too quickly. This isn't a 1925 silent movie, or some dumb 1985 MTV vid.
2) Never omit the real sounds of sex in favor of a crummy music track. If we wanted to hear bad disco, we'd go to... a bad disco.
3) Don't feature the guy's verbal or facial reaction to everything. Instead show what the real star - the GIRL - is saying and doing. We want to know what SHE'S into, not what some dumb hired stud thinks, or what HE looks like in any position. In short, never show his sack instead of her rack!
4) Never tell a girl with a nice normal (if smallish) set of breasts to go get a boob job for her "nightclub dancing" career. Silicone is poison. And also never tell a babe with a nice big butt that she needs to lose weight for your video. If you want stick chick bikini models, go dig up Karen Carpenter or something. Don't tamper with perfection.
5) Never have powder (or liquid) dope on the set. It may seem to be a natural step from a little "party social" booze or pot, but it isn't. Avoid all REAL dope like the plague. It'll get your actresses strung out, and as a result they'll quickly get bitchy - and lousy-looking. Plus, try explaining to a camera equipment backer that his investment is in serious trouble because one of your main stars OD'd!
6) Always plan on someone else to shoot scenes with, in case your prima dona "main" girl doesn't show up on time, which is a trick they so VERY often like to pull.
7) Don't tie your films down to any oft-repeated formula. (Witness the down swing of Powers and West and company.) 10 years from now, you do not want to be locked into a dull multi-video deal shooting "Shoe Lickers # 175" - just because the buyer demographic "indicates" that you should!
8) For geez sakes, use automatic focus - and a minimum of a Hi8 or Digital grade camcorder. Regular 8mm and VHS-C, etc., have been out of style for years (except of course with your drunk Uncle Ernie taping tarts at Disneyland).
9) No matter what an agent or company may tell you they'll pay a fine director like yourself in "domestic and foreign sales" later on, get mucho money up front before shooting even one minute of tape.
10) Don't allow yourself or your cast to get AIDs and croak. Sounds terribly basic, but you'd be shocked to hear how sloppy (and then how sick) many industry insiders tend to get sometimes!
Playboy Now Showing Anal
Felix Miata writes on RAME: That's right. Evolution finally caught them. Real cocksucking, tongues actually probing pussies, and dicks in both pussies and assholes. Movie title: "Betting on Flesh", from Metro. Condoms included, pops not.
Nothing sneaky this time, unlike with Keisha in the above. Kylie Ireland clearly gets live dick up the s---ter in "Dance Naked", from VCA & Bud Lee. Definitely can no longer say Playboy TV is anal free. Now if only they would find some sillycone free nubiles to replace the bimbots & martians it could be Patrick Riley heaven.
Howard Stern Whackpacker Busted
Dan writes: I know alot of porners and civilians who read your site are Howard Stern listeners. The big news today is that one of Stern's infamous cadre of social rejects and mutants known as the Wack Pack , Uzo, was busted in NYC on prostitution and money laundering charges.
Uzo, is a quite exotic looking Nigerian girl, she'd be in her late 20's now, who became famous as Stern's Number One Fan, she called him her "GOD" and would break down in tears and refuse to look at him when she was in the studio. Uzo was always very Net savvy, having come from the Howard Stern fan group on Prodigy. She ran her own IRC chatroom, and was one of the early and most avid contributors to the Stern Usenet group alt.fan.howard-stern.
Uzo was clearly a bit screwy but also very smart. She produced and starred in her own cable access TV show called Uzo's Dance Party or something similar. She loved beautiful women and surrounded herself with them. She did hint to Stern at the time when her fandom was at its zenith that her affluence came at least partly from some business servicing men's fantasies, legal massages and the like she said. She also said she was from Nigerian royalty. Uzo had some falling out with Stern a few years ago and I don't honestly know the state of her relationship with the show anymore. It had to do with Stern doing something that crushed Uzo's borderline psychotic belief that Stern really was her GOD. She took everything Stern said as gospel. I think she thought Stern sold out to Hollywood when he made his watered down movie adaption of his excellent book Private Parts.
Anyways, I lost track of Uzo until today's news. The reports are that she still had her website and was using it to advertise her exclusive toney Manhattan whore mongering business which if you believe her claims has many top fashion models and actresses working for her that the public would recognize. Prices for her girls' services were exorbitant, over 30,000 dollars for a weekend companion and 4,000 for an hour's roll in the hay in one of several Manhattan apartments she had accumulated.
From the New York Post:
http://www.nypostonline.com/news/regionalnews/24123.htm
A regular on the Howard Stern show was arraigned yesterday on charges she ran a $2 million-a-year escort service with $4,000-an- hour call girls out of several ritzy East Side apartments.
Investigators charge Arianna Uzo Egwu, a recording artist, public-access TV host and member of Stern's "Whack Pack," was the madam in charge of Glamour Roses, a prostitution ring that advertised on the Internet and operated out of eight Manhattan locations.
Using just the name Arianna on the Web site, Egwu boasted that she caters to "a wide array of international luminaries, diplomats, business executives and individuals" by providing them "the most exquisite women in the entire world" for $1,000 an hour - and up.
"My models have appeared in major motion pictures, television shows, print and commercial advertisements," she says on the Web site. "Many have graced the covers of fashion magazines and are booked as runway models for the world's top designers."
In addition to her lower-profile "models," Egwu also claimed she works with over "seventeen high-fashion models and television/movie actresses" who are "highly recognizable." Their rates start "at $25,000 per date, depending on the model/actress and her body of work."
"The main players in this case took an age-old trade and turned it into a sophisticated million-dollar enterprise that used the latest technologies and money-laundering schemes to net and hide their enormous profits," Kerik said, adding he expects "several additional arrests" in the case.
From http://www.nydailynews.com/2001-02-17/News_and_Views/Crime_File/a-100215.asp
Egwu is accused of using several companies, including MCO Enterprises of NY and UE International Group, as fronts to launder the money, said Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau.
Frank says: There were a couple of things from the NYPost story that didn't make it into the Uzo story. She was wildly exaggerating her girls and clientelle online. There were no "recognizable names" in her client book. She had $600,000 on hand when arrested. The two "employees" arrested with her were Russian. It took them _10_years_ of investigation to make an arrest. Can you believe that?
John writes: Luke, add it all up. The employees are "Russian", Uzo is Nigerian (the Nigerians are the most talented thieves of Aftica - they make our native African Americans look like a bunch of dumb shvartzes in comparison), and this woman had $600,000 on hand when arrested! I suspect that MONEY LAUNDERING, not lust, is the great driver of criminality in the sex industry these days. Any activity that generates, or that can plausibly claim to generate, that level of cash is perfect for laundering money.
Chaim Amalek writes: What is the most money your average millionaire typically is willing to spend to have sex with a prostitute? Please ask your sources for the straight dope. Luke, what is the most money YOU'VE spent to get laid, hooker or not?
Luke says: I've never spent money on a hooker. I suppose I've spent a hundred or two dollars to get laid. But now, through the Torah, I realize that sex outside of marriage is not emotionally or spiritually fulfilling.
The Almighty Says - Cease And Desist
Theodore Monroe writes: Mr. Ford: As you are aware, I represent RJB Telcom. It has come to my attention that you are accessing and publishing postings from RJB Telcom's MaxCash Board. The MaxCash Board is a confidential, proprietary and password protected bulletin board provided solely for its affiliates.
Your unauthorized publication violates RJB Telcom's common law and statutory copyrights. Further, your access was obtained unlawfully and unfairly in violation of California Business and Professions Code Section 17200.
Accordingly, RJB Telcom demands that you immediately cease and desist from accessing and publishing excerpts from the MaxCash Board.
Frank writes: I am not a lawyer
I am not qualified to answer questions in this area
I cannot give you legal advice
I am not giving you legal advice
I am not confident in the analysis above, or what was sent last night
re: monroe letter ... first of all, there is no copyright mark on any message board page. Second, there is nothing in the affiliate terms and conditions that prohibit reposting (you may want to look again, but my cursory examination didn't find any) Third, there is no clear statement of WHO owns the words on the message board. In other words, those who post have not agreed upon anything that gives RJBT the right to own their words, therefore the actual copyright ... if there is any ... may actually belong to those who post them and thus Monroe/RJBT has no standing to demand anything from you.
You should not take, or refrain from taking, an action in regard to RJB's threat based on what I've written you If I were you, I would not trust what I have written you
I think an actual lawyer specializing in this area could give you an answer quickly I mean what I just wrote; I'm not just trying to protect myself from liability here, I'm really very un-confident in the analysis. I'm going to take a shower and get some lunch. I still can't believe I didn't get action from that chick last night.
I'm a little drunk, and have a minor case of the blue balls because the 18 year old girl who was willing to perform oodles of obscene acts on me two weeks ago had to get to sleep early tonight.
I'm just an innocent...mightily screwed over by a young woman who thinks I took her to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon because I was interested in her insights into contemporary chinese filmmaking.
I'm totally f---ing annoyed at this chick tonight. Two weeks ago, we met at a party, I take her back to my place and she goes down on me twice, stays until 10:30 A.M. (which is about 3 hours after I wanted her out). Now, I actually take her out on a date, and she gives me bulls--- about brunch with her mother. This really pissed me off because I just broke up with my gf who I love terribly, after a year and a half, who was hot as could be but lousy in the sack, and I really felt a need to get action so I wouldn't feel depressed about being single. I had to put up with hours of annoying 18 year old girl blabber about the wonder that is her parents and her aspirations in real estate development, all so I could come home buzzed and horny and read your e-mail. f--- all hell.
Luke suggests: Perhaps the 18yo was simply sending you a message from the Almighty?
Frank replies: My instinct is to be coy and suggest that the Almighty rarely speaks through the voice of a young hottie without a gag reflex, for if he were to do so it would be very hard to make out what he was saying. But I suppose the answer is that I don't think g-d plays such an interventionist role in our lives.
Internet Expo Organizer Fay Sharpe Loses Her Husband
Fay Sharpe writes on Netpond: Now that everything is pretty much over, I would like to apologize to those of you who have had emails unanswered. I will try and get to them. I am sure that you will understand.
None of you have ever met my husband of 42 years, but any good you ever found in me - was like knowing him. He died suddenly last week. He had a stroke 12 years ago that left him handicapped, and kept him from being involved in a lot of my life and projects. He had recently been in very good spirits, and health reasonably good. I found myself not as prepared for this eventually, as I thought I would be. I guess you never are. I owe him so much. As I was married at 17 (senior week) he influenced my life greatly.
He taught me by example: good work ethnic, to believe in my self, to be the best that I good be, to try and be fair above all else, and to try and treat everyone the same whether they be poor/wealthy/young/old. He taught me that integrity was the most important thing in running any business and taking the easy way out, was not character building. To always do what you believed to be right and 'damn the torpedios. He was the strongest man I have ever known, and shared his great strength with others. I know that when I was hurt or doubting, that I could always draw on it. I wish you could have known him. I will miss him greatly.
I have read some of the boards from time to time this last week, and marveled that I had ever found any amusement in the politics, all the bickering and put downs. In the big picture - it is all rather shallow and very sad. Life is too short - most of these things 'just don't really matter.
Cucumber Woman
Tex writes: I looked at the cucumber pics provided by Brad Shaw. I must say I was disgusted by the obvious waste of precious California electricity evidenced in these photos. She leaves the damn fridge door open the whole time! I'm forwarding the link to Gray Davis' office. No wonder the Golden State is suffering rolling blackouts - didn't her momma ever tell her to "close the damn refrigerator door" like mine always did? I hope the Governor busts her bigtime!
Samantha Sterlyng
Hi Luke I would like to say something about the comments that were made our site. My comment is to this comment:
There is a simple litmus test to see if your a whore. Samantha, Amber or anyone in doubt may take it.
#1. If there is a cock in your mouth or cock in your ass or pussy and that cock belongs to someone you just met.
AND #2. You receive a check or money afterwards
THEN #3. You are a USDA grade A - certified WHORE!!!
Sam replies: As you all know this business is mainly involved with the same male talent. I work regularly making movies and I rarely work with a STRANGER. I have been in the business of over one year and I know all of the performers. When people outside of the business go to clubs and pick up strangers(someone that they just met) and take them home and f--- them what is the difference. I'll tell you the difference...this is our job, we do our job in a controlled environment with AIDS tests and condoms,etc. I am so sorry to hear that people think of people like myself and Jenna and Asia and Brande Alexander as Porn whores but if we are PORN WHORES then why would you waste your time writing hate emails to "worthless CUM DRINKING WHORES'? Shouldn't you be at home f---ing your poor pathetic girlfriend who stays with a woman hating man like yourself. If anyone is a cum drinking whore it must be YOUR girlfriend since she is with such a ASSHOLE LOSER like you and every other idiot that agrees with you and shares your opinion.
RangerRick writes: I have Known Samantha Sterlyng since she started in this business and in regards to Bryan Sullivan asking those questions of her. Well these should have been her answers to his email She was molested as a child as she confessed to several people before She stripped in one of those s---ty strip bars She is on serious drugs. She is an admitted hardcore drug user and probably wouldn't admit that on this Insecure What do you think??? She has no self respect especially when her stupid husband didn't even know for over a year she did guys on film. What a joke!! However he must be happy that his little whore can go out and earn money for them both while she sucks dick for fun on the side. There are not many girls in the porn business that look as strung out and unhealthy as Samantha. Simply put she is a great example of a girl who couldn't do anything but whets he does. Answer the questions honestly Sweetheart
SamanthaSterlyng.com replies: OKAY HERE ARE MY ANSWERS I am not sure who you are but let me clear the f---ing air with you since you seem to know so much about me... FIRST I was NEVER molested as a child and whoever said that I said that is a f---ing liar. SECOND If you consider pot a serious drug then more than 1/2 the world is on serious drugs... THIRD If you think that I am unhealthy and strung out then your blind because I am a thin person you assume that I'm strung out, what about the girls that are strung out.. FOURTH If you knew me like you said that you did, you would know that none of the things that you say are true and I hope you could say this to my face. Let me know if you would like to talk about this ASSHOLE :)
Jenna vs Asia
JRob writes: Does anyone else (other than Ms. Carerra) view this as a non-dispute? Will I pay to see Jenna Jameson when there are so many free pictures of her out there? No. Do I go to Asia's free site on occasion? Yes.
Of course, I may be biased. I think Asia is sexy and attractive, and I am less likely to think the same of Jenna. No offense to Jenna, its just one of those personal preference things.
Yes! Asia is the lucky winner of the "Which Adult Film Actress Would I Rather Meet" contest. Boy, oh boy. I can just see her happy as a school girl now that she won that big prize! Her boyfriend's bags are packed and in the driveway!
Jack writes: You should arrange a fight in the boxing ring between asia and jenna.The loser has to take lex steele vaginally and analy.
MatD writes: This is great! Jenna vs. Asia, let's call it "Which Overhyped Old Whore Gets Smacked the Hardest"! Let's see....Jenna got slapped around on a message board a few months back while getting dumped by her suitcase pimp and Asia was used as a punching bag for her fat, hairy, pimp, now ex-husband and worst smut director around, Bud Lee. Winner gets a 10th round of plastic surgeries!
Farrell Timlake writes from Homegrown Video: I love seeing the bitchfest between Jenna and Asia. However, I just thought that I would jump in at the extreme risk of getting scratched and say that a little ol' amateur company at www.homegrownvideo.com has been cranking out a better site than the two of theirs put together and multiplied by ten..
We have been doing live windows media (live video with audio, high frame rates) broadcasts for years. Back when Asia was crashing servers with people hacking her crappy push feed, and Jenna was working with that company that she used to be with... oh yeah, Wicked, let's see, them and Hustler and all the money and brains between them tried pulling off a live feed from the Cow Palace in San Francisco during the Exotic Erotic Ball. They failed and had to rely on the rebroadcast of the successful live feed that we did the year before. None of that is Jenna's fault of course, but by the same gentle sophistry that made me make the point in the first place, I reason, did she do anything to fix it? That company was "hers" at the time now wasn't it? Am I out of line? Well yes, of course, but I figure now that is par for the course.
Let's see, if I remember correctly one minute we had ten swingers from Sacramento having sex, then Rodman and his freak show being pretentious, then some band called the Impedent Sea Snakes that had groupie girls sucking them off for our live cam. Serious entertainment for one evening. Has either Asia or Jenna pulled off anything like that?
Now let's put on top of that: Our site updates literally every day with EXCLUSIVE content and has live shows with free chat, on the front line of the cutting edge of this medium, from all over the country. Then, just because I love showing off when I get myself going, ask all the webmasters who use the HomegrownCash program how well our site converts their traffic into CASH.
Do I work on the site? Yes. Can people contact me directly. Yes. Are our members happy? Check out for yourself what they say at www.homegrowncontent.com/pornocopia/mail/index.html . We put the good, the bad, and the ugly in there. You can see we are very dedicated to making our members very happy with a combination of earnestness, professionalism, and playful spirits.
I mean no harm though. In all seriousness, I have only praise and admiration for the accomplishments of Asia and Jenna.
I have a great deal of respect for the hard work both these performers put forth. They do exemplify focus, intelligence, and determination and have always represented themselves, and therefore the entire adult industry, in a way that should command respect from even someone who hates the industry, like Luke. In this industry, with all the evils of capitalism so blaringly apparent, it is incredibly difficult for these women to be independent and unique and not get grinded up in the human meat machine that seeks to rend them apart piece by piece. They should be praised at the highest level for typifying class in an industry virtually devoid of it.
Trust me, I remember when some dumb ass director made fun of my wife for reading books and the size of the library in our studio. Women in this industry are hardly ever given the due respect they deserve, insofar as in many cases they don't just f---, but also have a f---ing clue. Asia and Jenna have set very high precedents for commanding a seriousness and trust in their intellects, not just their limbs and libidos. I bow to both of them in a display of honor and humble respect.
They should put down the hatchet between them, after using it on me of course, and realize the great lesson of the adult internet, which is everyone supports and works together. Witness, the RB and CE feud where both parties, competitors through and through, were still making money off of each other even in the midst of disagreement. This is a great lesson for us all.
Now, when Jenna and Asia finish scratching my face off, if I can still talk, I will say: When both of you want to do some real fine live shows hosted on servers that are bulletproof with bandwidth to spare, then give us a call and we can help you out. Nobody does it better. Ask for references.
Oh yes, and make sure to sign your sites up with a homegrowncash account if you want to make some more MONEY MONEY MONEY!
Teddy Fine aka Justin Sterling, Jenna Jameson's ex-fiance, replies: Luke just a little note for that little "bitch", F.Timlake, from "Homegrown Lame Ass Losers". Let this be a warning Faglake if you ever refer to me as a suitcase pimp again you will find out what it is like to be my "Bitch". Do a little homework in the "Land of Homegrown" before you go arround blowing s--- out of your punk ass mouth... You want to step up to the plate with me? You might want to reflect on that one. Don't think that you are ever out of "my arms reach", boy I'll snatch your "bitch- ass" up in a second and have you paying rent the OG way. Oh, and as for your site..go back to school ... your site is a genuine reflection of you... a joke.
Johnny Scorpio replies: teddy fine is another one trying to intimidate people w/ his thug talk. really, who's impressed by your prison lingo--"punk ass bitch," and all that. You're trying to show off that you have done prison time and you are a tough man? who gives a crap? Rob Black expresses himself in emails like this too, and I noticed, so did Gene Ross when he jumped ship. Maybe you thug-talking guys should just be in prison--then you can talk all the badass prison lingo you want--to your fellow cons.
Slim writes: Hey read on your site that Jenna said something about feeding her dog bon bons. Well I just want to let her know that that will kill the dog. Dogs can't eat cocolate.
Amber@EroticVideos.com writes: I hate to be the one to speak up on this matter but I feel my qualifications allow me to do so. As an employee of a large retailer of adult videos, specifically of those with Asia and Jenna, I have information as to who is and who isn't hot on the internet. Before I give this information, I want to clear up that I am not a fan of one girl over the other. My feelings towards both of the girls are equal in every way.
# of estimated keyword searches done for keyword Asia Carrera during the month of January, 2001 is 55,399. # of estimated keyword searches done for keyword Jenna Jameson during the month of January, 2001 is 508,033. So it seems 452,634 people have spoken in favor of Jenna in this matter.
But those are just specific keyword searches. People out there looking for anything on that porn star. Now let's talk video sales to video sales. This is where it gets really scary. Out of all the Vivid 4 hour comps sold @ EroticVideos.com, specific to a porn star here is the list of top selling porn stars. Jenna Jameson, Devon, Kobe Tai, Racquel Darrian, Nikki Dial, Taylor Hayes, Chasey Lain, Janine, Nikki Tyler, Raylene, Celeste, Asia Carrera.
Don't get me wrong here, I like Asia's work and I'm sure as a person she is great HOWEVER when it comes to getting rude about the people you work with, Jenna wasn't a good target. There is no porn star with a greater fan base. The #1 and #2 keyword search spots are separated by hundreds of thousands of people. You can't hardly give Jenna crap about her website when she's that far in the lead.
Now when it comes to video sales, Jenna is without a doubt in a tight race for first with Vivid girl, Devon, however this information listed above was specific to their 4 hour comps. Based on that alone, Jenna is ranked higher than Devon. However if you combine all of their titles, (features and comps) Devon and Jenna are without a doubt in a heated race to the top.
P.S. Asia you are actually not telling the truth about one thing. You said you don't know of one porn star, besides yourself that works on her own website? Well now that Playboy Playmate Victoria Zdrok has made an adult movie (a cute lesbian cheerleader one) that brings her into the porn star category (if only part time). As someone who works with Victoria, you know that she herself does her site. So why did you say that? Especially since you knew it wasn't true.
And on one final note, so my boss won't kick my booty for getting in the middle of this in the first place, EroticVideos.com takes no official position on the argument between Jenna and Asia. We wish both the girls a tremendous amount of success. The information provided was for factual purposes only. When reading it, you can draw your own conclusions as to who is and isn't the winner.
Mutt writes on Netpond: I just let the votes go on until the next pissfest begins. Last time I looked Asia and Jenna both had about 20 votes. Now Jenna has over 100 he he he . I might have to bring in some politicians from Guatemala to oversee these votes. Anyways, they both got some good pub from their mini piss on Luke F-rd. The RB/FM thing had great possibilities but RB never pisses, he needs to go to MikeAi's pissers boot camp to learn about cock holsters and such.
AlienX@SinCityFilms.com writes: I got an Asia Carrera banner for ya take Look see:) It might work some since I noticed you reverted your banner thought maybe you needed a new one:) And need I mention the cat fight?
I say f--- it man Asia and Jenna are cool people, and I think these 2 girls just kinda clashed on the net, you know girl meets girl webmaster sorta thing? but certainly not like the Titans as of late if you know what I mean.
I chatted with Lee Noga earlier to day. First time actually, very smart woman we intend to do some business with her in regards to her Audio Tech.:) Oh yeah I dunno if you heard this But Sin City Just Signed Kristi Myst. So we got a NEW Girl indeed!
The release of Michael Raven's Underworld has come and the title is doing great, as it has great spin from old mythology to modern. I recommend ya give it a look:) Perhaps ya might want to review this release your self, I bet ya can not refuse a cute ass like Ava's or Asia Carrara's as I do believe even you would appreciate this movie for the great sex in it!
Meni69: luke thanks for not posting my email to you last night, where i pointed out how clubjenna.com has new pics and new videos, a reply to one of your guys saying why pay to see jenna pics, when so many are out there free to see, yeah OLD ONES
Last Word On DK
James Fortune writes: Hi Gene and Luke, I got called away from my leave of absence from porn to respond to the allegations by Nadia and others on DK...I will just tell you what I observed, as he was a co-renter in the house we lived in and we were buds and spent a lot of time working together recruiting and shooting girls. Anyone who knows me knows that at least I'm honest...maybe too much so because i was so f---ing naive in this f---ed up industry made up of losers and users. I have no interest in defending DK just because he was a friend. I am no longer in the industry and have no vested interest in this. In fact, I have a little financial dispute with him that he has to resolve...so I could have been one of the ones to come out with a few of my own allegations, but I decided not to, because what was said was not true. I believe that fact must be separated from fiction. When you hear the gripes from me, then you will know it is true...because as an industry participant,next to Luciano, I probably know him the best personally.
The facts on Nadia: Nadia was a cute 18 year old from Moroco who had gotten hooked on crack. Shot her once on film and f---ed her a little on the side. I felt very protective of her, and tried to get her out of her addiction; spent a lot of time rescuing her from a crack house, but she would always end up there. I was so enraged one night, I left the mansion in a frenzy and broke open the door of the crack house and cleared a party full of low-life addicts to get her out. DK tried to get her work because she was always bugging him for work....we didn't want her to spend it on crack. On more than one occassion we tried to convince her to fly home...and I was ready to pick her up for the airport, then she would disappear. Taylor was very protective of her and warned me not to let DK "pimp" her out (which he never did)...and warned me to get out of the business because it was destroying me and DK...who we were as people....she got a little overdramatic. Nadia went home, her father probably found out (he is a rich Muslim cleric) and she probably got punished and is under house arrest of some sort.
The facts on DK being a pimp: Even though I was quite surprised by the amount of escorting girls do in this industry (wow, most porno girls ARE whores..on film, they just get paid less to give out more!), DK has been very clear to me that he doesn't pimp nor does he want to be involved in arranging privates. Girls come to him and sometimes tell him they escort on the side, and ask for work...many times they turn out to be whores, but never tell him they do this side business.....I warned him to avoid all escort referals for fear of this and he has always agreed that that is not what his agency is about or what he is about. I have witnessed that he tells girls he DOES NOT want to know about their activities on the side.
The facts on DK not taking tests: I went with DK to AIM and another center for periodic HIV tests. What girls do on their own personal time off camera in using condoms or asking for test results is between them and DK.
The facts on DK being gay: hhahha...I laughed on that one...the only reason he shared a room was because it was a very large suite with living room area and bedroom area that cost over $2000/month just for the one room...he wanted the biggest room to be able to shoot stuff......the whole house cost over $10,000/month to rent.....he is such a workaholic, half the time he spent at the office at night or at a girlfriends.....admittingly, the man in Beverly Hills who rented the mansion out to all of us who lived there was bisexual but a) we discovered that AFTER we moved in and made it very clear we were heterosexual , b) he hates black men (I just reassured him DK wouldn't steal anything), c) everyone else in the house was/is heterosexual and the man traveled all the time, d) we shot porn there and we f---ed women only..on camera and off.
The facts on how DK treats women: Everytime i have been with them, he has treated them with respect and dignity and really does go out of his way to help them. I would venture to say he works harder than other agents to get them work if they are committed and have the look. The reason sometimes women complain is because they are a) ugly and can't get work anyway, b) DK got frustrated on them because they weren't doing their share, and gave up on em....as any good agent would...you don't waste your time on girls who aren't committed.
In my 1 1/2 years of friendship with DK, I have never ever seen him take drugs or engage in any interest for men. Nadia was just pissed and wanted to stir controversy...wanted to get your attention....all the time she was here, she liked DK and was very appreciative... DK is just misunderstood because he is a black man working in a very competitive market and people in the industry are RACIST as evidenced by the latest Vivid controversy written in your column...DK may have started on the wrong foot with Kid Vegas and Jim South and others, but sometimes people make rookie mistakes in this industry. Unfortunately, those mistakes can haunt you and people get stereotypes, which other people assume are true, and then when they have a problem, they put it in the context of these previous experiences. Maybe he doesn't always deserve a break, but give DK a break on this one...because none of it is true.
Netpond Controversy
Lee Noga writes on Netpond: Bush Pilot, Your right, we could belabor points all day long. I did not "Spin" you out in my responses, BTW :-) Its been a long week of coming to grips with the amount of speculation, rumours, and insinuations about CyberErotica etc. There are two types of concerned webmasters, one being webmasters that promote CE programs and need reassurance there is no threat to bank, and another group of webmasters that were editors with Ompi wondering what just happend.
Group #1 - Nothing has changed to affect your payouts, been paying on time since 1996, and that is not changing. Checks are always on time and will continue to be.
Group #2 - Business is dynamic and changes overnight for reasons not apparent to support staff. I have no idea what happend to Ompi's company and its relationship to FantasyMan. Maybe their arrangement was altered, and the big picture you understood at the time of hiring changed for reasons we don't know.
Mukoh writes on Netpond: For some dyke [Lee Noga] to say how she knows all the big players. Whenever someone talks about how many big players they know, they appear smaller and less significant then even small webmasters with some CJ sites. And saying how she hears rumors or whatever? I think those rumors are from voices in her head. All she knows how to do is run some show where she talks about what she read on webmaster boards. Netpond has been the best resource by far for the last 2 years, yeah it has changed, and trust me its not all the netponds crew fault. And they haven't advertised sponsors that openly rip people off like teenclicks and asianplayers.
Confucy writes: I'd much rather listen to Luke F-rd ramble on because he is honest with himself and the rest of us. He tells us upfront that he hasn't checked out every item he publishes on his website. He is amusing. When he preaches to us, he is really talking to himself. He has some humor in his soul.
NickatIlynx writes on Netpond: Lee Noga wrote:"Its been a long week of coming to grips with the amount of speculation, rumours, and insinuations about CyberErotica etc."
I sympathise with having to deal with "speculation and rumour",Lee.I have been doing the same this week,what with hardware problems etc here Netpond. It is very tough,I know. Ya know,it is really magnified when someone (lets make it more specific..YOU) writes damaging fictitious emails to a load of people telling them a load of baloney. Don't bother to deny these letters (or as I like to call them, "Exhibit F") as I have several. I'd have a lot more sympathy for your talk of professionalism and ethics etc,if you ever walked the walk,instead of just talking the talk.
Lee Noga responds: Oh Nickie, my little cupcake, your gonna give this
Southern girl a swelled head, now stop
Nick responds on Netpond: Lee, Are you accusing me of issuing cheques with insufficient funds to cover them? BTW received your writ yet? I can confirm,specific permission from my solicitor, that a writ has been issued against you for defamation. .....wanna compound the libel?
Luke Gets Mail
Sergio writes: It took me 10 full minutes to load the entire Gene Ross page. Asinine. BTW, what the f--- "The Gloves Comes Off" means? Is Gene getting unprotected fist-f---ings now?
SinCity writes: Loved the interview with Nancy Pera. Another one with limited memory. If we were all as astute about business as Nancy, we would all be paupers. Sounds like she has been f---ed more times than a crack whore. I actually like her but she can be a pain.
Director Michael Raven writes: Actually Jane, you are wrong in your assumptions. I did not respond to Mr. Sullivan's remarks because I find it to be an exercise in futility to attempt any sort of intelligent debate with one who spews so much hatred and moronic diatribes. What is the point? You on the other hand are intelligent and articulate. I was not trying to "single you out" or "attack" your statements. From your postings, it is obvious that you can disagree with someone without resorting to name calling and personal attacks. Contrary to your assertions, I do not discount women as expendable. In fact, nearly 50% of my viewer base is made up of or strongly influenced by women. As to how I rank entertainers, I believe that pleasure is one of the highest values of human existence. The type of pleasures that we can derive from sex and sexual entertainment. So in my world, entertainers rank very high indeed for the personal pleasure that they provide. When one human provides or gives pleasure to another, I count that as a significant value. Why wouldn't you? I think perhaps you have to ask yourself why do you not see the value in the pleasures they (entertainers) provide. If you have already asked yourself this question would you share the answer with me? I am most interested in hearing your point of view.
Finally, I access value based on objective realities, not religious or state created moralities. Why is it that our society seems to despise sexuality in public, yet consumes mass quantities in private. Why do we desire the very things we claim to hate. I can promise you that the other posters (Sullivan, etc....) expend a great deal of sexual energies masturbating to the fantasies that these "CUM DRINKING WHORES" provide to him. We as fans seem to LOVE them in private, yet abhor them in public. I am GRATEFUL for women with "balls" enough to thumb their noses at conventional moralities and perform sexually on camera, unashamed of the REALITY that WE ARE ALL SEX OBJECTS. And before you tell me again that I wouldn't dream of voicing a dissenting opinion because "porn stars are my bread and butter", I must tell you that I truly respect individuals that think as such, undaunted by "popular" opinion. And considering that my wife of 10 years is also a well known adult performer (or cum drinking whore as others might say) I think that proves that I believe in what these performers do for a living.
Satyric writes: OK Devoto, I'll take your word for it that you were merely using "satire" and "humor" in regards to that mean spirited jerkwad Bryan Sullivan,but the the next time I hear some guy I know make cracks about "the spooks" in the the local housing project, I Satyric will have to ask him if he is only being satiric...Now about this who is "whore" crapola, I don't understand why anyone would take offense to this when it it slung around as a slur by the likes a pig like Williams and others.You remember the words of Warren Beatty in "Shampoo"?" You can call anyone a whore..."It's true! Most people prostitute themselves one way or the other in their work or private life. To me being a whore has nothing to do with any sex act,although it can be.When you're being a whore deliberatly hurts another person is when I believe that is worthy of condemnation. If it's a porn actress or anyone being offered money for sex acts big damn deal! That's a private decision that doesn't really directly affect anyone except the participants. Who cares? A politician can be a whore for a big contributer. A lawyer can be a whore for a client etc etc etc. And it can hurt others, these situations deserve our scorn. But there are countless ways people sell out all the time. Sometimes it's just a matter of the right price or situation being offered. If the average porn performer or the average office worker or anyone was offered 5 million dollars to "blow someone" I say many would not call the cops,they would drop to their knees once the cash was put on the table. I am quite certain that Mr.Sullivan would suck off Mr.Marcus and drink his cum for that amount. Isn't that right Bryan?
Matth writes: when pornography has become mainstream it will have ceased to be viewed as pornographic. there are the two matters of standards and definitions. hence the classic aussie joke, "what do they yell at chicks in Saudi Arabia?" "Show us your face!!!"
Devoto writes: Luke, Satyric is right, I am a prejudiced individual that only furthers stereoypes and harms the feelings of trailer trash everywhere. As such I shall hang up my "pen" and leave the social commentary to those that are more educated and open-minded. Thank you for your time Luke, it has been a REAL learning experience!
K-Man replies to Jeff Miller: You need to get out a bit more my pudgy son! You are a f---ING PORNOGRAPHER, not a BISHOP, so pull the corn cob (after your head has cleared a path) out of your ass and get a grip on your life, and reality if you can find it. Name some noteworthy webmasters who DON'T smoke weed or party with occasional drugs? And GUESS what Michelin Man ? ..... NO ONE GIVES A s--- ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, because we are busy toking the corporate bongs and laughing at people under the rocks like yourself have to reach down REAL low for some dirt which is not even dirt.... This FATTY is for you! (and don't get excited fruitcake, I am not referring to what you wish i was, i am referring to a joint) Comments anyone? Please email me direct kman@s---tygrin.com...
Let's Talk About Luke
Luke writes Chaim: You've hardly given me anything in the last few > days... So get to work here > and answer these questions, please...
Chaim Amalek writes: Luke, there are two good reasons for the decline in my l-keford production in recent months. First, I have pretty much said everything that I have to say that has any real nexus to your site. All the discussions based on lashon hora (what this person said to or about that person) or the travails of America's porn webmasters interest me even less than they interest you. And since you choose NOT to pimp for me, what profit is there for me in any of this?
More important from the position of Luke F-rd is the sense that we who write your column for you are your enablers, helping you avoid the hard work of becoming a working man giving it his all trying to make something of himself in life. So long as we do the heavy lifting for you, your celebrity/journalistic muscles will remain in their undeveloped state. It is time we all stood back and let you stand on your own two feet.
Goddess writes: i say we refuse to post to Luke F-rd for a WHOLE WEEK or until he gets off his duff and finishes my interview....
Helpful writes: An embargo? I like it. All my good stuff is going to Quasarman this week.
Chaim Amalek writes: See what happened while you were davening in shul? The Hand of the All-Mighty answered YOUR prayers and moved others to force you to stand on your own two feet. Bitter, but necessary medicine.
I just checked out that site [QuasarmanRants.com] and damn it has some good stuff on it! (Especially the exchange between the general and the feminist.) Great color pics, too! With so many talented people poaching on Luke's turf, I don't think that he can for very much longer support himself in the manner in which has grown accustomed merely by operating l-keford.com. Time for a new gig, Luke.
Helpful writes: Might I suggest a cardboard sign and a prime spot in the Walmart parking lot?
Rumdar writes: I see it this way. There is no reason for further interview questions until we learn if Luke is serious about his desire to play on the Lavender Squad:
>Yes, it is only the Torah which keeps me from having homosexual sex.
In light of this revelation does it matter what color tie Luke favors? A better question would be, Luke fess up. Have you been putting us on about your desire to be Rhett Ford to some Scarlett Feinstein? Is it the warm embrace of a young, loving Jewish woman you crave, or a tube steak up your keester? Clarification is needed.
Aghast writes: The obsession with anal sex. The refusal to eat pussy. How could I have been so blind?
Rumdar replies: The question now is what do we all do when l-keford.com becomes a Homo site with a Gay chat room? Do you think Sports Illustrated will have us? I live in Texas. I might land a small gig with Guns and Ammo.
Aghast writes: I hope I haven't burned my bridge over at generossextreme.com!
Rumdar writes: Smart, very smart to have backup already in place. I have pissed off so many people (Quazarman and Mike "inbred' South) in one week. I may need the witness protection program. Look me up in the Philippines.
Helpful writes: In Pornoland one achieves a fresh start with a new name, a blonde dye job and a larger set of implants. When in Rome...
Fred writes: Geez, what a complete lack of loyalty! If this keeps up, the only l-keford.com regular will be William Pierce! Don't worry, Luke. I'll stick with you. Especially if you fix me up with Kendra.
Goddess replies: i'd be more than happy to be loyal in exchange for interview answers OR cash. and as far as the sex goes, something tells me i could hook up with mike south WITHOUT luke's help.
Goddess writes: stop it, guys! he's gonna use ALL this to fill up sunday's page. for gawd sakes remove the man from your senders list! {she says as she leaves him on HER sender's list} besides, it's much more fun to talk about him behind his back...
Rumdar writes: Then what happens to the column ms. G? Chaim is right (again) we enable Luke. In order to continue doing that we need new info. A new Pepster in his life. Another busted sewer pipe. A second trip to the Holy Land. How about that tubby Lithuanian who ate his protein bars and dissed him? What happened to the Canadian-ettes? Will Luke ever come out of the closet? Come on, this ain't easy.
Helpful writes: Statistically speaking gays have a higher per capita income and the media contacts that Luke craves. Why shouldn't he go gay? How does www.lukesgloryhole.com sound?
Rumdar replies: I like it. The Logo could be a gloryhole pic with that (now) discarded shot of Luke holding his cranium like he has a migraine.
Goddess writes: HEY! i heart that pic of luke...you're talking about the one where it looks like he's thinking so hard it hurts, right?
Helpful writes: I always thought that pic should've had a "thought bubble" over it reading "Another f---ing lawsuit!"
Fred writes: But how will he deal with the Torah-based prohibitions? We also need to hook him up with a new religion. Any suggestions? Goddess, you're a goddess. What should we do?
Actually, I saw the movie "Hannibal" last night, and that conjures up a rather unsightly image. (If you haven't seen it yet, you'll understand when you do.)
Rumdar writes: MY favorite religions? Shinto, Buddhism, Falung Gong.. You get to worship with tasty Asian wenches.
Luke writes: The main thing drawing me to Orthodox Judaism is the better quality of people I meet there...
Rumdar adds: None of whom seem willing to give you the time of day.
Chaim Amalek Banned From PornStarTrading.com
Goddess writes: Hmmm, we all go over to PST and annoy a GROUP of > people instead of just one?
Chaim Amalek writes: But you wouldn't have Chaim to guide you over there. Some Stalinist in PST (and Mr. South knows who) spends EVERY WAKING MOMENT OF HIS LIFE waiting for Chaim to appear, just to silence his voice. The rhetorical gifts of Chaim Amalek are deeply feared in certain porn circles.