Sunday, January 28th, 2001

How To Get Out Of Porn

Devoto: You have NO link on how to get OUT of porn, yet you have a link on how to get INTO porn! You should rectify that.

Luke asks: Dear readers, could you write something to that effect? Or perhaps some of those who've made graceful exits out of porn and successful entrances into mainstream life could write original essays of general interest with tips for those who'd like to follow them?

Helpful writes: Visit NVBrothels.com.

Chaim suggests: Fatal drug overdose, suicide, prison, sickness, old age. You know, the usual ways.

Fred writes: 1. Call a press conference and announce that notwitstanding those phony IDs you've been using all these years, you will soon turn 18.

2. Announce you're pregnant, and your suing all of your fifty-or-so screen ex-lovers for child support. For extra impact, demand that they assist in child rearing. (How do you suppose Tom Byron would do as a father? Hey, kid, quit whining. Hey--don't do that--those are my anal beads!!!)

3. At the end of your next scene, look up at your co-star's eyes and say, "This means we're getting married, doesn't it?" (This is fairly risky--if it's Ron Jeremy, what will you do if he says yes?)

4. Announce to the world that you've had some nasty incurable STD, and you just realized that you forgot to tell all your co-stars. Oops. Sorry.

5. Announce that all appearances to the contrary, prior to surgery, you used to be a man.

6. Announce that all appearances to the contrary, prior to surgery, you used to be an animal.

7. Announce that you're not really a porn star--you just did this as part of your doctoral disertation at Harvard. Now that you're done, your leaving LA to become a don at Oxford. (Actually, I think this is what Annabel Chong did, except she's probably going to become a don at Cal State, as soon as they create that position.)

8. Get a rich sugar daddy (other than Dave Cummings).

9. Pick some rich married guy at random, and send him a letter saying if he doesn't fork over $100K, you're going to announce to the press that you've been his mistress for the past year. (For extra fun, threaten to tell the press that you're pregnant with his love child.)

10. Win the lottery.

11. Actually take the time to go to school and learn something useful.

12. Get a job. (Actually, this is probably too drastic. I take it back.)

13. Enroll at the Brandy Alexandre School of Maintaining Anonymity. Tell them Fred sent you.

14. Get a good disguise--trench coat and dark sun glasses. Or for a more whimsical approach, try a Groucho Marx glass-nose-and-mustache. (For a more advanced disguise, have your doctor deflate your enhanced breasts.)

Secrets Of The G-Spot Revealed

Curious warns: I do not claim to know much about the dusty, old obscenity laws that your hero, Mr. Ashcroft, is allegedly polishing up, but I do know that if he goes after bland vanilla, organizations like Vivid and Wicked for obscenity then l-keford.com is at risk as well! You must buttress your filthy site with more socially redeeming content to disguise the fact that it is really a porn wannabe induction site. Oh, and by the way "socially redeeming content" does NOT mean more Jew talk!

For example: Many of l-keford.com's degenerate readers seem to feel that for a woman to experience sexual fulfillment requires 103 chopsticks, a large fist slathered in lube, and a full bladder. NOT TRUE! As a public service to l-keford.com readers we present this educational link for you to better understand the female orgasmic response. Click here: Find The G Spot.com.

Private Porn Gossip

XXX says: Now that Private has lost Pierre Woodman and Frank Thring to Hustler, they're screwed. Now they've got to go through agents like everyone else.

The money Private's throwing around on their new Italian director (Antonio Adamo) is amazing. They spent $600,000 on a two part movie. They're shooting on Digital Betacam. It's almost as good as shooting on 35 mm. They're taking 14 days to shoot three scenes.

Pierre Woodmans Pyramid I and II shot in Egypt cost $ 1000 000. In Budapest around 85% of "Italian" productions are shot for $ 70 000 to $ 250 000 month in month out.

That doggie video you wrote about coming out of San Francisco. You might want to ask Jamie Gillis about that. He's got his hand in a lot of interesting stuff that comes out of SF. He's the man there. But he won't say anything.

It's too expensive to shoot in America. It costs double and the talent keep causing you problems. In Europe, the agents have girls and the girls do what they're told, when they're told, how they're told or else there's trouble. You never have anyone late.

Look at Anita Blond. She acted up and her career ended. She was Private's number one girl. Then she started showing up late, did a few things wrong and bang. That was it for her. She didn't retire, her career just went. I remember this guy calling her at nine in the morning and she was coked out of her head. And in her Hungarian accent she slurred, 'I do not get out of bed for less than $1000 U.S. dollars a day.'

YYY says: Niki Anderson doesn't get out of bed for less than $2000 a scene now and that's just for a girl\girl. She charges $500 extra for dialogue and another $500 for a boy\scene and guess what? She gets it... that is between her trips to Abu Dabi and Regents Street in London on "other" jobs, like many of the other top girls in Budapest today.

Jim South is not an agent. He does nothing for the people who sign up with him. He's a toll collector.

Vivid Web Gossip

Net porn insider XXX says: Bob Johnson used to work with Yishai Habari and Serge at Crescent. Everybody hated Johnson. But many people sent him traffic because they paid well. Johnson has a personality. I don't know why he's working for Steve Hirsch at Vivid.

Hirsch has changed his tour [to Vividvideo.com] recently.

Luke says: I took a look and it appears very similar to the Crescent Publishing free tours. For instance, when I clicked on the "Hot Hardcore Tour," I was sent to a page which promised this: "Get a FREE LOOK at the HOT ACTION NOW! Just enter your credit card information to prove that you're 18 and start your FREE SEX PREVIEW!!"

When I scrolled down a page to the terms and conditions, it noted that unless you cancel before three days, you will be billed about $40 a month. When I tried to exit from VividVideo.com, I got hit by a disabling number of popup consoles (about eight before I lost count).

XXX says: Hirsch's made the terms and conditions more open. But it looks like a scam to me. They used to tell people that they'd be charged $2:50 per day, instead of the full monthly charge. The way the scam [devised by Bob Johnson] worked at High Society and Vivid was that there was never a charge for the website. It was buried in the "Terms and Conditions." Vivid made about $80 a month from everyone who didn't cancel while everyone else made $39.

Bob Johnson and Hirsch are making a load of money off their internet program and I know that all the money is not going to Vivid. Where are Hirsch's merchant accounts? I don't think they're in America. Officially, last year, I heard that Vivid only turned over $10 million on the web last year.

Last year they wanted to go public. So they wanted to bump it all up. Put all the internet revenues into the company and make it seem like it was booming. But when the market turned sour, they went off that idea.

What does it tell you about the adult internet that all the big pipeline companies are building big pipelines to the Caribbean at the moment. UU.net just put in two 155 meg links to the Cayman Islands. There's not the traffic from there. Why would they do it? Because American porn companies are prepared to go offshore.

Female Porn Star Speaks Out About The Cambria Guidelines

Porn star XXX says: I think it is wonderful. It's about time they start treating talent [better]. Once porno becomes more taboo, there's the potential to make more money off of it. I dig that they won't do anything too crazy anymore. Because it was starting to be a pissing content over who could do the worse things to girls than the next company.

FTC's Injunction Against Crescent - What It Means

Click here to read with Acrobate Reader the Federal Trade Commission's Preliminary Injunction against Carl Ruderman's Crescent Publishing.

Here are excerpts from the PI:

Defendants operate pornography web sites that have offered viewers "free tours" of parts of the contents. In order to take a "free tour," however, a visitor was asked to enter his or her credit card number. The visitor was assured that the card "will not be billed" during the free tour and told that the card number was necessary so that the defendants could verify the user's age. Once the visitor entered a valid card number, the visitor was permitted to begin the "free tour." At some point, however, the "free" part of the tour ended, and the defendants began billing the visitor's credit card...

Defendants Bruce Chew and David Bernstein, together with an allegedly passive investor, Carl Ruderman, and their corporate entities, own and operate "adult content" web sites... The practices of these web sites are a moving target.

Defendants have long been identified by credit card and related companies as having strikingly high levels of "charge backs"...

Defendants high level of charge backs caused related problems with Card Service International (CSI) and Heartland Payment Systems (HPS), businesses that help set up merchant accounts. CSI opened several merchant accounts for Crescent and affiliates between late 1996 and mid-1998 , and for a few months in 1999, both times eventually closing the accounts because of consistently high charge back rates. Likewise, HPS processed more than $22 million in bank card transactions for eight of the Bernstein - Chew businesses in 1998, but later that year closed all eight of the accounts because of excessive charge backs.

Crescent and affiliates had an average charge back rate of 10.51 percent in 1999. High in itself, this figure does not reflect the full extent of customer dissatisfaction as it does not include the additional 28 percent of sales that the companies credited back to customers during the same period...

...[D]efendants did not provide the name of Carl Ruderman, Crescent's "investor and economic beneficiary," in either of their voluntary disclosures to the FTC. This late-breaking news that defendants' have a silent partner makes defendants seem less than forthcoming...

Here's an exclusive picture of Ruderman with his arm around a black man.

Martin Finklestein writes: The effect of the opinion should be obvious to the reader, but a brief overview is warranted.

The suit was filed under two different laws by two parties: A suit under the FTC Act (unfair and deceptive practices) by the FTC, and a suit with identical allegations under NY law very similar to the FTCA filed by the NY attorney general's office.

The issue was whether or not to grant a Preliminary Injunction. A PI is an order that a party do or not do something, granted soon after filing a case, after a highly abbreviated showing of evidence. The purpose of a PI is to maintain the status quo or remedy on ongoing wrong before the lengthly trial process. It is not a final disposition on the case.

Many of the details of the PI issued by the court are not contained in the decision. Crescent offered its own version of the PI, which was identical to the one offered by the FTC/AG in nearly all respects. The judge's opinion therefore dealt only with the areas where the two parties differed: Largely, the questions of whether or not to protect Crescent's assets/profits to pay off a future judgement or settlement, and if so how to do so.

The judge granted the FTC/AG's request to prevent Crescent's owners from taking money out of the company. He granted the FTC/AG's request for a very large bond to be posted against damages. He denied the FTC/AG's request to place Crescent into receivership, saying that he was reluctant to order such a severe remedy on the basis of the incomplete evidence presented in a PI hearing. He also ordered Crescent to move all its money back to the US, except what had to be foreign for business reasons (presumably, offshore merchant accounts.)

Interesting question at this point: What, exactly, did Crescent mean when it said that their money just happened to pass through a bank account in Guatemala on its way to the US? Why would anybody do that? I mean, did their money just need a South American vacation before being put hard to work back in NYC?

The judge's refusal to grant receivership is interesting only because the opinion drips with indications that the judge is suspicious of the defendant's intentions and behavior. The answer is that Kaplan is known as a very cautious judge, many judges are wary of governmental power and reluctant to grant extreme remedies on the basis of incomplete evidence, and the judge apparently felt that the other restrictions he placed on Crescent and its owners' behavior were sufficient.

Two significant questions are evident from the opinion: 1) There's $113M or so that Crescent took in and claims it doesn't have; where is it? and 2) What is the impact of the fact that attorney generals are now bringing FTC-style suits against internet companies?

1) According to the opinion, they had something like $188M in revenue over two years, but weird net assets. The opinion says that they describe their net worth at $16M, but include in that a debt from Ruderman of $10M (from an "advance" paid to him) and "inventories" of $18M. (It's difficult to imagine what possible "inventories" the company could have, without that its net worth would be negative; but, accountants can legitimately do things that to the rest of us seem pretty odd) It also says that in 1999 they did a stockholder distribution of $15M out of net income of $12M. A lot of the money (I think upwards of $50M) is tied up in bonds and letters of credit to satisfy Visa on chargebacks. So, where's the other $113M?

The opinion makes not-so-subtle points about a bizarre corporate structure, attempts to hide that Ruderman was a partner (the judge apparently was told, and did not believe, that Ruderman is a silent partner) and offshore bank accounts. It also says that Chew is the sole shareholder. (The $15M appears to have gone to him.)

So what's the relationship with Ruderman if he doesn't own any shares? Did he loan them money, if so for what compensation? Does he have a contractual relationship with Chew? Does he take some sort of salary from the company?

Let's take a look at the numbers for a moment. In the first 10 months of 1999, they took in $141M, had net income of $12M, and paid dividends to the single shareholder (Chew) of $15M. But how did Ruderman get paid, and if so for what? If his relationship to them is based on debt (he loaned them money) or a salary (he performs some service) then that would be deducted from the $141M before net income was counted, and be counted as a liability, which might be why they claim a net worth of only $16M (really, a negative net worth once you deduct the claimed inventories and the "advance" apparently to Ruderman.)

From the way they appear to be structured, it doesn't look like his "up" was stock options; draining $15M out of $12M in net income isn't a way to increase the value of the shares; they were maintaining this company to have _low_ assets. (There are legimate reasons for doing this in a non-public company; then again, there are also illegitimate reasons for doing it.) Many private companies with a single owner compensate the owner with a salary rather than dividends from the stock; this has legitimate tax purposes, and is an entirely wholesome way of structuring a company. But Ruderman doesn't own any stock, and Chew took out as dividends in 1999 more than the company's claimed profits! So how the heck were these guys being compensated? And for what was Ruderman being compensated?

Another possibility is that Ruderman had no direct relationship with Crescent; he had instead a relationship with Chew, who in turn owned all of Crescent. Chew would then pay Ruderman out of his salary or dividends as payment on a personal debt or contract rather than one of the company. That would have interesting implications for who could be held personally liable for misbehavior by the company. But if that's the case, why is the company giving Ruderman a $10M "advance"? Advance on what? (By the way, the opinion only notes that this was probably Ruderman, the company said it was their "beneficial owner"; if Ruderman isn't that beneficial owner, who is?)

Some of the $113M must have been expenses --- content, employee salaries, webmaster payments, hosting expenses, etc. But some of it must have been owner/controller compensation --- much larger salaries or other compensation paid out instead of shareholder distributions to Chew and Ruderman. But the court also says, when it says that Crescent can't pay out any disbursements, loans, etc. to its major beneficiaries so that the company's profits are retained as a fund against its liabilities, that salaries can be maintained at their present level, so the big-player compensation doesn't appear to have been in salaries.

One of the really interesting things about the opinion is that the relief doesn't talk about Ruderman. The court appears not to know very much about him, or the nature of his relationship to Crescent, and hints that the defendants were deceptive about it.

Where's the missing $100+M? One possibility is that a lot of it is with Ruderman. Another is that margins in web porn, once you pay for the content, the free webmasters, the bonds to Visa, the transaction fees, the legal fees, and the hosting costs, just aren't as large as the industry would have you believe. In other words, a lot of these guys are lying about how much money they're making. A third possibility, and note that Chew pleaded the 5th and refused to answer questions, has to do with foreign bank accounts like the one in Guatemala. The Crescent story appears far from over.

2) Another thing to keep in mind, in the context of the industry's present Ashcroft related fears, is that this wasn't a pure FTC suit. The state AG was also involved. That's not a good sign for the industry if they believe (you know I think its bulls---) that these suits are realy a cover for an anti-porn jihad.

First off, by the way, Ashcroft has nothing to do with the FTC, its an independent agency not part of the justice department. On the other hand, the FTC doesn't bring criminal cases, the justice department does; when an FTC case turns criminal, it has to hand it over the the justice department.

Second, the state AGs have started suing. New York, like many states, has state laws nearly identical to the one the FTC sues under. If they can bring actions independently of the FTC against websites under those laws, what happens to the justice department won't matter a wit. All of those Southern and Western states that the industry is so afraid of (like that stuff with the Cambria list) have AGs, many of whom make Ashcroft look like a liberal. Each of them can bring actions just like the FTC actions against these web porn companies. If they catch on (Spitzer is a very aggressive AG, but they've all been getting aggressive recently) what happens with the FTC is pretty irrelevant; you won't have one anti-porn jihad, you'll have 50 of them. And they won't be brought by independent agencies with long tenures like the FTC, they'll be brought by officials who have to run for reelection every four years, and satisfy their Southern and Western constituencies.

What Do LF.com Readers Like To Think About When They Masturbate?

What do you guys like to think about, precisely, when you masturbate? What are the emotions and specific thoughts and scenarios that drive you to the climax? What do you think about when you are "searching for self knowledge"?

Remember, as a great rabbi said, the unexamined life is not worth living.

Thoughts of revenge and defiling innocence are among my favorites.

Meni writes: I think about you Luke, yeah baby, not in a gay way, in drunk camping way.

Rumdar writes: I know Elton John thinks about being in a prison cell with you. I think about being in a pagoda with that young Asian chick from that movie..Crouching Tigers/Flying Dragons or whatever.

Goddess writes: Okay, you want to know what I think about when I masturbate? I think about the bills, the mortgage, the....oh, wait that's what we women think about when we're with you guys. When alone, I *used* to think about Gene Ross, but then you know he cheesed me off. Then I used to fantasize about Mike South, but that *DAWG* couldn't even stay faithful to me in my fantasies! Now I think about two guys making out while I watch. I can't say who they are, but let's just call them "GR" and "MS." That way their real identities shall remain a secret.

You BASTARD!! Once again, I have shared my deep intimate soul feelings with you only to have you use them to fill up your page. Have you no shame? Have you no morals? I thought you cared....I am SO telling Lynne what you did as soon as she gets home!

Touching My Inner Child

Devoto writes: Dearest Luke, I am writing you this letter to inform you of my masturbatory ritual. Often times, after a long and strenuous day I set aside some time for myself. I use this time to increase the knowledge of my self and to explore my own sexual being. Typically, I begin by drawing a nice hot bath to clean my body and mind of all the impurities of the outside world that have affected me throughout the day. I then light some candles and perhaps I will burn some incense. I lay my clean body on the bed and kick off the sheets. I begin to let my hands wander about my body and explore myself. I clear my mind of all thoughts and concentrate on the now. I focus in on the feeling of my hands roaming over my flesh, and the warm soft touch of my own hands as I go to the places on my body that long to be touched. My pulse rate raises, my body temperature rises as I begin to zone in on my target areas. Sweat develops on my brow as I tenderly and lovingly manipulate the areas of my body that ACHE for attention. As my frenzy builds, I can feel the beginning of the warm glow wrap itself around my body. My mind begins to wander to erotic locations, public places (perhaps a Chinese restaurant) as I furiously strive to attain some release. Then, when my body can hold out no longer, and I can feel every muscle in my body tense in anticipation of the impending release I picture my hand as it wraps around the smooth, cold, pearly white ivory chopstick. THEN, when my orgasm can no longer be held off, I imagine ramming that chopstick up Skeeter's ass, and I explode. AAAAAH, nothing is more satisfying to the human sexual experience than poetic justice! THANKS SKEETER!

Jane writes: Devoto darling, I believe it's a FISTFUL of chopsticks, not just a single one! I'm sure many of us will agree that loving husband, exemplary father, successful business man Skeeter Kerkove deserves nothing less than the full nine yards, the full meal deal! We wouldn't want to cheat Skeeter from all that is his due.

Will Converting To Judaism Get One Better AVN Reviews?

chrisenglish1: Watching a program about the book of Ester right now
chrisenglish1: David says he'll teach me Yiddish that will pass in any company.
chrisenglish1: Should I also convert I asked?
chrisenglish1: I am already circumcised so the transition will be a painless one.
chrisenglish1: But will it get me better reviews in the AVN?
Luzdedos1: I think you should definitely convert to Judaism and accept the Oral Law.
chrisenglish1: Kira was moaning about me having my flys undone when I was the stills guy on a shoot for Swedish MAX a couple of years back
chrisenglish1: Little did she know that I was going ito the loo during breaks to abuse myself with her as inspiration
chrisenglish1: She is a nice girl though. I like her. She just over reacted some what to your posting of her pictures.
chrisenglish1: They are not in the book of Ester
chrisenglish1: More Chaim please
chrisenglish1: I wanna see Tough Jewish Chick give him a few wollops up the toucus

Jessica Drake Defends Bridgette & Skeeter Kerkove

Sin City contract girl Jessica Drake writes: Jane: I see you attacked Michael's comments with vigor, but ignored that of Porn Ace. Go ahead, address the issues and comments that he brought up. If you're going to attack Bridgette & Skeeter, then be prepared to defend yourself. Just who are you to judge? What close, personal insight do you possess that defines you as an expert on children and/or who we choose as our marriage partners? At the very LEAST, it is none of your business, a situation you have absolutely no firsthand knowledge of. I have seen for myself. I know these people personally. I have seen them interact with their children. These children are very well mannered, disiplined, provided for, unspoiled, and HAPPY. Go away, Jane, and leave Bridgette and Skeeter alone. Stop projecting your apparent unhappiness and dissatisfaction on others and deal with it yourself. What is it? Who did what to you in your past?

Signed, Just another "Porn Whore" AKA jessica drake

PS- Bridgette & Skeeter, I love you both. Keep going!

Jane replies: Dear Jessica,

Actually I did respond to both porn ace and Tim and Felicia Fox's posts but our dear friend Luke misplaced it. You know Jessica, the thing I like about l-keford.com? It provides ALL OF US, porners and regular joes and josephines alike, with the chance to express an opinion about a very touchy, difficult subject. You want me to go away? Well, the same rights that allow you to f--- for a living allow me to speak, so please, f--- who you want but don't f--- with my right to free speech!

Alot of you are asking me to explain myself, who am I to judge, what makes me the expert, my fantasies. Well, first I ask you to go read the posts tossed back and forth on this subject for the past few days, and you will know that very few of my questions to these very PUBLIC people have been answered. Did Bridgette/Skeeter write me regarding my last post to them, where I quoted them directly, to say that it was full of inaccuracies? It was their own words I used. Why don't you ask them to respond to me instead of telling me to take my "unhappiness and dissatisfaction away and leave Bridgette and Skeeter alone"? You talk about knowing them personally and how well adjusted their kids are. Can I ask you to tell me, seeing as they won't and you claim to have the inside track on the Kerkove Clan, do their children know what mommy does? You defend them because you have to, because if you don't maybe you won't get a job next week, you defend them to protect your position in this very nepotistic community. You want me to answer your questions and I try. They can't be bothered! I am not a public figure, I am just an average person writing in with my thoughts, why should I be up for your scrutiny? My past is of no concern to you. But I do try to respond honestly because I think you are as curious about me as I am about you. I ask myself why is it that I would never sell my body for sex, no matter how bad things got. And they have gotten bad, very bad, no food in the fridge, power cut off bad. I know personally it would not leave me feeling good about myself to prostitute. I don't think it's the right thing for me. I would rather work at Starbucks if I had to. I have had friends who have been very active in the sex industry and I have seen them prostitute themselves at the drop of the hat. For fun it seems! And they have all told me the joys of sex for money. "It's easy, it's easy," they chime, "why don't you try it, what's wrong with you Jane, ???" So here we are Ms. Drake, at the human zoo, on either sides of the fence, looking out at each other. So be it. Just relax and stop taking yourself and your silly industry so seriously.

Asia Carrera Quits Simon Wolf Productions

Asia Carrera writes on her site AsiaCarrera.com: Simon Wolf and I had a dispute over when I should have returned to the office after the CES show. I'd arranged with my department to return the week after CES, but while I was out in Vegas, the big boss demanded I return to the office the day after CES ended. I didn't get the message, since it was nearly impossible to reach me in Vegas, and so I no-showed at the office that week. I returned home to find out I'd been suspended without pay until I explained my actions at an office meeting with my superiors, which I thought was unfair, as I'd just been working my ass off for them out in Vegas... so I quit.

Fred writes: So Asia posts on her web site the story of her leaving Simon Wolfe. What do you think--was she a flake, or did she have a legitimate misunderstanding with her employer?

On another note, I sort of liked the exchange between the guy who was baiting Sunset Thomas about how her offspring would be born with lots of bumps in his head because of all the screwing she did when she was pregnant. I assume/hope that guy was just kidding, and didn't really believe what he was writing. Eh?

Luke F-rd is a man who never neglects the chance for content for his website

Luke F-rd er en mand, der aldrig forsømmer muligheden for indhold til sit website. Da Rasmus fra Kronometer havde lavet interviewet med ham lagde han det uredigerede interview ud - det kan du høre her hvor du også kan nærlæse alle detaljerne om Kira-miseren.

Luke F-rd is a man, who never neglects the chance for content for his website. When Rasmus from Kronometer had made the interview, he uploaded the un-editet interview - you can listen to that here, where you can also scrutinize all details about the Kira-story.

Rumdar writes: Rasmus from Kronometer must be unt vild and crazy guy....YA?

Helpful writes: I believe the term is "content whore." Rasmus should see your psychiatric evaluations that you posted last spring.

Luke Goes To Shul, Meets Tough Jewish Chick

I can't help it, I am a narcissist. Anyway, let's talk about me. A year ago, I met an Israeli woman (Amy Steinberg aka Tough Jewish Chick) at a Friday night dinner. I love smart tough chicks who observe the Torah. I walked her home and talked endlessly about sex.

So anyway, Friday night, I went to some new friends home from shul. They had the meal catered by Pats, the most expensive kosher restaurant in town.

Saturday mornings in shul, I've been peeping across the mechitza at this really cute chick.

Anyway, I told this israeli chick that ten months ago, there was an article about me in Maariv, the Israeli newspaper. So I invited her to my place to read it. Mind you, my place got flooded by sewage a few days ago, and it stinks more than normal.

Anyway, she came over, and I showed her some of my modeling pictures from six years ago, and some articles about me, including the Maariv one. She found them funny. I tried to do several things during our conversation but she pointed out that they violated the shabbat - like tearing off a paper towel, etc...

She said that I had lost a lot of weight in the past year and aged considerably and she wondered what was wrong. I said it must've been the stress from the three lawsuits, losing my guaranteed monthly income, and the lack of progress on my most important goals - such as developing a better support system. We talked till 3PM, then I walked her home. She thinks my Judaism is a big fraud. She thinks my website is a Chillul Hashem [Desecration of God's name].

She laughed at how I pleaded with her not to reveal my real name, Luke F-rd, at shul, where I go by XXX...when I revealed the real names of 300 porners and ruined their lives. I like her. She has lots of spunk. I need some tough chick who'll yell at me and crack the whip and make me accept the Oral Law.

Goddess writes: why in the world would ripping off a paper towel be against the shabbat?

Luke replies: Because it is against the Oral Law.

Goddess writes: You need to ask yourself this question, Luke: when was the last time I had pussy? how many years will it be until I get pussy again? face it, honey, the women aren't exactly beating a path to your door....what the hell are you quibbling about? go after her. i find it rather humorous--but not the least bit unexpected--that you like a woman who is disdainful of you. Get yourself a mistress who will smack you into submission....I keep telling you, it's EXACTLY what you need:)

Living In The Moral Sewage Of Porn

Chaim Amalek writes: She sounds like another castrating jewess to me. Do you not realize that in revealing yourself to her, you greatly increase the chance that you are going to be "outed"? And just why do you love that temple if it is so snooty that no one there will speak to XXX? Stick to the shiksas, Luke. They are much more likely to be womanly towards you than these over-educated hebresses.

PS Of COURSE most of your web site is a chillus hashem! But then, you already knew that. You just don't want to work as a paralegal for fear that people will think you gay.

I am disappointed in you , Luke. Another year has passed and you are certainly no better off than you were last year. Even the sewers vomit at the presence of Luke F-rd. Time to suck it in and take that job as a paralegal or male secretary.

Luke says: But I've grown spiritually.

Chaim replies: If you had grown spiritually, you would not be doing that cheesey web site. Not that it bothers me. What bothers me is that an entire year has passed, and you have accomplished NOTHING, nothing that is of any use to me or to Marc. In fact, I am shifting my energies over to Marc, who seems to have a lot more drive to do something with his life than you.

Luke replies: Please don't abandon me again, daddy. I will work harder. I have drive. I won't disappoint you. Please.

Chaim replies: Luke, I have a confession to make. I am getting pretty damn bored with l-keford.com. It simply isn't going anywhere I want to be. You keep recycling the same half dozen issues over and over and over again. So if there are any other porners out there, any other social theorists or social engineers who want to pay for my services, either in cash or in trade, please contact me through l-keford and we'll see just what sort of a deal we can cut. Come! and do business with a REAL jew, and see what a pleasure it can be!

Chaim Amalek Invents A New Kind Of Prostitute

Chaim writes: All this talk about you getting smacked around has got me thinking. We know that there are men who pay women to do this to them. But why not offer yourself as a human pin cushion to women who have a lot of anger towards men and who want one whom they can beat the crap out of? I am not sure what you would be called, but with all the angry women in the world, I am certain that you could build yourself a stable of clients in no time.

Andy Edmond Still Atop FCI

XXX writes: "Breaking FCI news.. Ross and Shawn do not want to sell the company and a heated argument ensued. Andy and his girlfriend have resigned at FCI."

Andy Edmond replies: Uhhhh.... Luke, you couldn't be further from the truth! I am still, and will be for as long as I can forsee, the Chairman and CEO of the company. All of us were hard at work today - Shawn and Ross and I - and business is as usual. I wonder who told you something so silly??? You are getting gullible in your old age!

Luke, If anything changes at FCI, I'd let you know. However, we've had enough changes recently for any of us :) We are going to plod on in one direction for now!!!

Rodger Jacobs Bats For AVN Against Gene Ross

Rodger Jacobs aka Martin Brimmer writes for AVN: The award-winning Big Four, some industry analysts contend, have lost ground in the retail market to producers of more extreme hardcore product. Gene Ross took that argument one step further in January after attorney Paul Cambria met with several key distributors and urged them to scale back on edgy product as the new administration takes root in Washington.

Cambria produced a list of material likely to engage the interest of zealous prosecutors. This is material, Cambria urged, that should be excised from video box covers for at least six months. On his Web site Ross strongly insinuated that the recommendation to scale back on interracial scenes in hardcore videos was the result of collusion between Video Team and other major players to eliminate competition and further insure Video Team's market share with black-themed erotica. Ross irresponsibly stirred the pot even deeper by posting comments from readers asking if the so-called Cambria List wasn't really a conspiracy on the part of the Big Four to chase off their competitors.

Ross knows the truth. But now that he no longer has the high-profile AVN banner to write under he must rely on yellow journalism at its absolute worst in order to maintain his own market share in the business of reporting on the world of adult entertainment.

Who would ever think that the industry would see the day that Gene Ross would make Luke F-rd look like a piker?

And for those who complain that AVN rarely takes on sweeping issues that may show porn in a negative light, I am compelled to reiterate the theme of my commentary: Adult Video News is a trade magazine. Their function is to support, not tear down, the industry they report on. Let Luke F-rd and Gene Ross fling the garbage. They were apparently born for it. But never make the mistake of relying on either scribe for accurate reporting of adult entertainment as an engine for generating commerce.

Adult Video News is not only the industry's sole trade magazine but also one of the most successful trade publications ever in circulation. Ever. Punks with slingshots will always be around, but they can't take that away.

Read On Here. Read Luke's reportage on AVN. And on Gene Ross.

Jenna Says Life Is Good

Jenna Jameson writes: Briana Banks is sitting on my desk naked, playing with herself… Life is good. I guess there ARE perks to owning your own company…HAHA

Farrah and Joe Elkind

Luke writes Joe Elkind, part owner of CENcash.com: Hey buddy, your girlfriend Farrah is listed as available on BodyMiracle.com...for escort work..

JoeE replies: Oldest profession in the world;-))) What can I tell you Luke. Her and I have and will continue a "special" relationship but she insists on paying her own bills.

Luke says: Calling all boyfriends, lovers, husbands and suitcase pimps, past and present, of women who perform in the sex industry (strippers, porn stars and prostitutes)! l-keford.COM wants your story! Do your sweetie's antics make you seethe with jealousy, turn you own sexually, or turn you on fiscally? Write to us and tell us your story in a few paragraphs or less. Call in to l-keford Live on Tuesday between 4 and 6 pm, or join us in the chat. We will read your stories on the air.

Rob Black Rants

Arch Stanton writes: Luke, after reading Rob Blacks latest rant I've concluded he's edging closer to the abyss. I know the guy is under a lot of pressure and stress and it's showing. He states: "There's a real misconception about us here at Extreme. Maybe that's good because it shows that in the time we've been around, I've been able to boost and create this aura about us. Let me tell you something. We don't do fisting. We don't do pissing. We don't do the s--- that everybody seems to think we do. We don't do the s--- like a lot of companies who are out there trying to sell fisting. And you know who you are, you cunts that sell f---in' s--- like that."

Ahh Krysti Myst was allegedly pissed on in Whore. Brandon "im getting old and bald" Irons has bragged about pissing on women time and again. They have 4 pissing scenes on their paysite. Which allegedly hasnt been updated for months. So why does he blatantly contradict himself like that? And this is even better: "We dont do fisting." Ahhh a few stories down on geneross site is Krista Leigh talking about her experience on THE ABYSS; " is for the uncut version...it is much more intense. Every guy fisted me at least once, and they had to cut out a lot more." Ahhh so which is it. Black cant be white and white cant be black. Does he really know whats going on at his company or is the emperor naked.

Ron writes: Hey luke i love all your stories on the pron industry...but how come everyone hates you??? Rob Black was suppose to be yer buddy but now he won't even talk to you. I guess to be a reporter you can't have any friends.

Luke Gets Mail

Ian writes: "Hi Luke. There's been quite a lot of discussion on your site about the plans of some adult film companies to omit inter-racial images from box covers in future. Some of your correspondents have suggested that this is a racist decision. No doubt many of these people are racist, as are, doubtless, a significant number of those who log on to l-keford.com. However, the film-makers' decision is more likely to reflect their prudence (or panic, if you like) in the face of the likely closer attentions of the holier-than-thou brigade, who may well see the advent of the Bush regime as a heaven-sent opportunity for what they would regard as house cleaning. When you, Luke, apologize in your column to individuals aggrieved by its contents, I rarely suspect that you are truly penitent, but assume, rather, that you are trying to avoid litigation and possibly expensive reparations. That is, I presume your motive to be economic, just as I make the same assumptions about the motives of these understandably nervous film-makers."

Tony writes: Hey Luke, happy Saturday. This last week on The Tonight Show two events happened that reaffirmed that Middle America is not at all desiring either interracial romance or porn and/or rap to go away. Jay Leno invited the young actor from the film, "Save the Last Dance" which also happens to be the highest grossing film of the last two weeks. Its story line concerns the trials of a young ballerina and her friendship that blooms into romance with a hip-hop kid. The second event was Jay welcoming rapper Snoop Dogg to perform...the astonishing thing about the interview portion of that appearance was that not only was there no mention of Snoop's gangster past but there was absolutely no mention of his future porn projects. There's no way Jay was not aware that Snoop's picture is on the cover of the latest AVN magazine. What was amazing is that he chose not to bring it up or the article inside about the rappers diversification into porn. The Arnold Potters, Spike Lees and Al Goldsteins of the world are going to have to get used to it.

Gordie, the creator of MaxHardcore.com, writes: "Its about f---ing time that one of these low-budget porn-sites gets popped for this crap. At maxhardcore.com, we regularly get appreciation letters (!) thanking us for making our website so easy to unsubscribe to; from yesterday: "You built a lot of goodwill with me with your subscription reminders and easy cancellation policy. I will look back soon and maybe join for a longer time. Good job. JJ". We also get alot of emails from potential members asking if we renew automatically or, once they sign up, immediately ask to cancel the membership, in fear of getting caught up in auto-billing hell! We send members a link in the email that automatically cancels the renewal cycle! What a concept: Treat your members and fans with the respect they deserve, and they'll come back when they can. I guess I should be glad that about 90% of the adult websites that are still online are so untrustworthy; it makes our legitimate methods seem like a godsend."

HLEdmonson@cs.com writes: Dear Luke, I just recently graduated from college with an A.S. degree in Media Studies. I want to work behind the scenes in The Adult Video Industry. I am currently living in AZ and planning to move to the Los Angeles area to pursue that career. Do you know who or where I can send my resume to? Do you know where I could go for a possible interview? If you could be of help to me in any way It would be appreciated. THANK YOU

Luke says: Try adultstaffing.com.

Porn Ace writes: Yeah I find this Skeeter guy a bit on the ridiculous side myself Jane, but I'm a little curious about a couple of your statements directed at "pimp" Skeeter and Bridgette such as... "you pimp her out to f--- other men on film, you encourage your wife and the mother of your kids to be a whore." So basically you are calling women who work in porn "whores". Do you watch porn Jane? If you do, how do you justify supporting this kind of prostitution since you seem to have a problem with this activity?

You also made the statement... "Honey, I have had crazy sex too and my lovers and I have discussed MANY things including making porn films" So you have discussed with your lovers among many things you becoming a "whore".Is being a film prostitute just a fantasy of yours Jane? Or are you waiting for the right price to be offered?

Tim and Felicia Fox write: Luke, As far as the trashing of Bridgette and Skeeter Kerkove goes, could I possibly inject a little missing common sense into the discussion? Who the hell among any of us -- and that includes you, Jane -- has the right to criticize anyone else's personal lifestyle? Skeeter & Bridgette both work damn hard -- you don't achieve their level of achievement without busting ass -- and I admire them both personally and professionally, and applaud them for their success. "Most people find Skeeter's involvement in your career reprehensible"? Really, now? May I ask whom? I see a proud husband and a loving family, and I say more power to you, bud -- keep standing up for your wife and straight to hell with the know-nothing's who can only sit back on their fat asses and sling mud your way. "...that kind of protective husband is the one we all wish for as little girls...". Yes, any man who loves his wife unconditionally like that must be a real jerk, huh? Keep rocking, Kerkoves. We're behind you 100%. Love, Tim and Felicia Fox

Jane replies: Oh for the record, to Porn Ace: yes, I watch porn on occasion. I admit that I have an uneasy relationship with it that on one hand I feel these women are exploited, both by themselves and others, and on the other hand I laugh and think they are exploiting men. I am actually reading a lot of critical essays on the politics of porn, so excuse me if I haven't got a firm, pat answer down for you. I am still thinking about it. But I do believe that selling your body is prostitution. Is prostitution good or bad? Again, not sure. But I don't like some greedy older guy manipulating his young wife into building up his bank account. That's just sick.

Actually the porn fantasies I spoke of, they were more the fantasies of my partners than of me. The only porn I would ever consider making would have me on the other end of the camera, directing or producing. There is no "right" price for me, it doesn't exist in my frame of thinking. Tim and Felicia Fox wrote: "Who the hell among any of us -- and that includes you, Jane -- has the right to criticize anyone else's personal lifestyle?" All of us, me included, the minute it isn't a "personal" lifestyle anymore. The Kerkoves are very public figures. Skeeter himself says, "It is mind blowing to me how famous Bridgette has gotten in 24 months, there are even untrue rumors about who operated on her boobs. That is fame. Keep on feeding the fire, it will only bring her more money and fame. God Bless You All"

Devoto writes: SO, that Jane says she isn't sexually repressed?? WELL, in the interest of investigative journalism, and finding the TRUTH, I am willing to sacrifice my time and my heart. If you are willing to fund my trip, Luke, I would be more than HAPPY to offer my "investigative" reporting abilities and find out the TRUTH!! I will BOLDLY go to Canada and find out the what is behind this woman, this Jane! I offer you my services, Luke, just give me the nod, and I will pack my chopsticks!! It would be my PLEASURE!

Brian Kushner writes: Read Bridgettes letter to me and all I could say is said by Jane. And for all we know Skeeter wrote the letter anyway. I love his previous message of how FAMOUS Bridgette has become. This guy is so in love with the fact his wife f---s for his meals that he gloats and gloats. But he has too, one slipup and he's out the door. Can't wake until he gets the boot and we will see what he posts then.

Sin City Director Michael Raven responds to Jane who wrote: "You should not embarrass your children and believe me, they WILL know of your career and that daddy asked you to do it "

Michael responds: While I found your response to the Kerkove family lucid and well thought I couldn't help but wince when I got to your closing remark. I ask, why should anyone be embarrassed by sex? Why are you embarrassed by sexual performances. If the Kerkove's children are brought up with healthy attitudes toward human sexuality then why would they be embarrassed at all. Perhaps your own children might be embarrassed by such an open view of sexuality due to your own repressive views. Think about it.

Jane writes: Dear Michael, You say you "winced" at my closing remark to Bridgette Kerkove, which was "you should not embarrass your children and believe me, they will know of your career and that daddy asked you to do it". You then go to applaud the "healthy attitudes towards human sexuality" that in your opinion the Kerkove's are imparting to their children. Dear Sir, I kindly ask, where is it healthy for one's mother to f--- hundreds of men, on film no less, while their daddy takes the credit for getting her started?

First of all, do you think that her children even know of their parent's "sexual performance(s)"? In her bio, Luke F-rd asks Bridgette, "How many of your friends know about your new career?" and she responds, "Only a few." The interview then goes on to Skeeter telling how he is trying to get his children from a an old girlfriend: "We're just focusing on her career and getting my children from a previous relationship. My poor children had to go through a lot with their mother. My two younger children were being very neglected and when the Department of Children Services came in from our call, they found them in a severely neglected home that was horrid... So they took my children and gave them to me, instead me just getting to visit them every other weekend."

I wonder if the Department of Social Services is aware that they gave up abused children to a bunch of porners? Skeeter has a legit pool cleaning business, they don't use their real names, so who would be the wiser? We all know that within the government the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing, therefore I am not surprised that the children were placed there, but I cannot believe that the authorities knowingly did it, thinking that placing those kids with a pimp and a pornstar was the better option.

But, I digress, back to your concerns. No one should be embarrassed by sex. I am not embarrassed by sexual performances. My own children will not be affected by my "repressive" views of sexuality as I have no children and I don't think my sexual views are by any means repressive. My point is, Michael, that not everyone should have kids. I don't have kids because I am currently not in a position to support them. Bridgette and Skeeter shouldn't have them because they want to engage in a risky lifestyle. They do things that our society, as a whole, deems unacceptable. It's harder to get a driver's license than it is to have kids. There is something wrong with that. You know that thing they do at schools where Little Jimmy or Little Sally get to go to work with mom and dad for the day, then report back to class on what they did? Well, all snickering aside, how are their children going to do this? Without being forced to lie, "my daddy runs a pool cleaning business" Either those kids won't know or they won't tell what really goes on behind closed doors. That's a healthy attitude? Deception, shame, no moral values. If they want to make porn, fine! Go to it. But don't bring innocent kids into it. Skeeter himself described his wife's upbringing as very happy and healthy, so how does his children's compare? He knows better. He is just greedy and doesn't care.

A final thought: You are an 8 year old kid, 10,12,19, whatever. Ask your self honestly, if your mom was famous for shoving chopsticks up her arse would you want your friends to know about it? BE HONEST.

Steve writes: Hello Mr. Ford, Thought I would take a moment to reply to your post regarding the sexual and drug activity displayed by religious school children. Since I haven't conducted a survey of all schools in our nation, I can only rely on empirical evidence supplied by my own experience. I spent twelve years in Catholic parochial schools (Kindergarten through High School). I also had very strict Catholic parents as did most of my friends. It has been my experience that the stricter the religious upbringing the wilder the child. In my case I lost my virginity at age twelve after a couple of years of doing everything else. In high school I started using drugs, which continued into my thirties. I have slept with several Mormon, Pentecostal, Baptist, and Catholic girls who matched their parents religious fervor with their own willingness to seek the highest levels of debauchery. In other words you again, like many other conservative religious ideologues, have your head up your derriere.

LT writes: On the Brandy/Bianca thing. Brandy, unfortunately with the way the "media" operates now, you probably are creating *more* interest in these stories. These s---heads love it and eat it up, and the quality of their research and effort is plain to see. The more you contact them, the more it intrigues them.

Brandy Responds: You need to look at it from another perspective. If Bianca wants to drag me into her little dramas and accuse me of stalking her, when it is, and always has been, the other way around, I have nothing against taking advantage of the media by putting her face on everything. She wanted me to be involved, and so here I am. What does it accomplish? For one, knowing she's a liar, it compels her to lie more, and it's fun to point out scores of contradictory statements: "slum properties" over "most affluent," "I don't have live sex webcams" over "there will be a live sex show with myself and porn star Sunset Thomas on my live web cams," and so on about her still making porn films and so on. Like she says, I don't have anything better to do. She should be careful around me when I have so much time on my hands. ;)

Also, taking into consideration the substance of the lies, by turning the spotlight on her, she may initially bask in it, but she will be forced to maintain the facade. She's got their attention and now EVERYONE is watching. They'll watch who comes and goes, how she comes and goes, keep checking the hooker boards, keep checking her web sites... The seed of doubt has been planted and she is now suspect. Of course *we* know for a fact that she is a prostitute, but now that she's claimed she isn't, she shouldn't dare do anything now. It would be one thing if she said, "Yes, that's what I do, but I'm still a good citizen and care about my neighborhood." It's another to steadfastly deny it and sneak around. That's what people do not respect and they will not take it very well when they find out they've been lied to.

I may not like her getting media attention, but since I can't stop it, I might as well use it to my advantage. She's harassed me just one time too many, now. She dragged my name into this for an extra 15 minutes of fame, but I'll play the game and hand her 30 if it will get her arrested or into foreclosure.

Gilles writes about Skeeter Kerkove: He is maybe the best guy in the world.The main problem being he can't stop telling you how smart he and Bridget are.Also,I learned in the past that when a guy brag about his BIG size,it always directly at the opposite of their brain size.Hope they will show the way to their children how to be millionnaire before 25.By the way,why to send them at school,it's useless.

Tony writes:Do the women in porn do the sex for the money or do they do it for the sex.......... ?????????Or both. Or becUASE THEY ARE ADDICTED TO DRUGS?? KRISYI MYST HAS ALL OF A SUDDEN GON FROM VERY THIN TO PLUMP. SHE LOOKS GOOD W/ SOME MEAT ON HER BONES.IS SHE PREGNANT????

Ohm writes: I did have a question for you, do you have any information on 1970's star Terri Hall? I always liked her work, and was wondering if you had any info on her and/or a link where I could purchase her videos?

Jason writes: Hey Luke huge supporter of the web site. Anyway I was wondering me and my other porn following buddy want to know if they is going to be another AVN show in LA this summer or that was the usual show in LA in Las Vegas earlier in the month. We were very disappointed about this since we only had passes for CES not the AVN Expo because true porn fans like me and my buddy should not miss out on events like that.

Jane writes: Hey Luke, just how many different types of pimps are out there? I've heard of the standard "pimp", and the newer, trendier model, the "suitcase pimp". There must be more... well, if there isn't let me add a few, and others feel free to share your own. Job titles change to reflect new job descriptions:

The "diaper bag pimp" - a pimp whose wife/investment* has his baby.

The "Mini Van Pimp" - a pimp whose wife/investment has his older, school aged children who he shuttles around to soccer and tap lessons. * formally "whore", the title upgrade to "investment" confers a more thoughtful, long term status.

Why Pornography?

Brian writes: Mr. Ford, I have followed your site as a reader for quite some time and I find it interesting because of the personalities that congregate there. I am more interested in the human side of any story and have one question for your readers/contributors that I have yet to see be addressed in your forum. That question is: Why pornography? Please do not respond by attacking my personal character and claiming that I have no right to ask such a question. Furthermore, do not make blanket assumptions about my life and lifestyle choices. Do not call me conservative, or sexually repressed. I am not inquiring in an attempt to demean you or your choices. I simply wish to know why you chose pornography as a profession. I was first exposed to pornography myself at the age of 10. At which time my father presented me with a box full of pornographic magazines. Ranging from Playboy to Gallery, to Hustler, to Penthouse. I was amazed at the idea of nudity and must admit that I spent the next week behind closed doors. My parents have instilled in me a healthy and open attitude toward sex. I am by no means conservative (card carrying member of the A.C.L.U.)and my sexual life is far from being repressed. Although, I am currently celibate, it is only because I chose to be, for personal reasons. I realize that I am asking you to respond in a personal way, so I will go into my reasons for celibacy. I have struggled with addiction (alcohol and drugs) for some time and have been clean and sober for a long time now. I made the decision that my personal life and mental and spiritual well-being were dependent on me not using drugs or alcohol. I chose to stay out of relationships so that I would be able to focus solely on myself. So, if you wish to attack my character instead of to respond to my honest inquiry, feel free to do so, and feel free to use the above self-disclosure as fodder with which to form your character assassination. However, for those with an honest desire to respond to an honest question, please do so. I would just like to know why one chooses pornography as a profession?

Luke answers: Laziness. I and other porners choose porn because it is a seemingly easier way to make a living than the alternatives.

Circle The Wagons

Devoto writes: GATHER ROUND PORN STARS, someone is being brazen enough to question the morality of one of OUR OWN!! REALIZE that if you are indeed a self proclaimed PORN STAR, that the all important SECOND word in that phrase is STAR. Do you not understand that once you achieve STAR status that you forfeit your right to privacy?? You make MONEY on your image, so why should it be off limits for debate? PLEASE stop whining about the rights of Bridgette and Skeeter to privacy, if I have seen someone's ass FULL of chopsticks, what makes you think they have ANY right to privacy? FORTUNATELY (for all you viewers of porn) I do not stick chopsticks up my ass, NOR do I purport to have ANY star status. THEREFORE, I can have a modicum of privacy in my life, HOWEVER, once I willingly place myself in the public eye, I forfeit that right. If one has a desire to QUESTION the moral aptitude of a porn star who is PIMPED out by her husband, LET THEM. They have that RIGHT. Perhaps you are not REALLY upset about the questions raised surrounding the lifestyle of Bridgette and Skeeter, but you are ACTUALLY protecting your own choice of lifestyle? I believe you have NO problem whatsoever with individuals questioning public figures (Were you REALLY upset and concerned with the tabloids treatment of Michael Jackson, did you write FURIOUS letters full of PERSONAL attack to the tabloids?). I believe that you feel OBLIGATED to defend Briggitte and Skeeter simply because to do so JUSTIFIES your OWN lifestyle. REALIZE that I have no concerns over what you do with your genitals. HOWEVER, just think about YOUR motives in defending Skeeter and Bridgette. I do not believe you are in ANYWAY an impartial commentator.

Holy Murder

Luke writes: "A much smaller percentage of American murderers attended religious services regularly before they murdered."

Michael Raven replies: You have got to be kidding me! More people have been MURDERED throughout the whole of human history for a religious cause or in the name of God, than any other single cause. The Inquisition ranks at the top of the list. The church acting corporately as a mass murderer. The church or religion is responsible for more death and misery than any other human institution or individual. The Crusades, Peoples Temple, Heavens Gate, Branch Davidians, Islamic Holy Wars,........etc.... Oh but I guess when it's sactioned by the church it's ok.

Luke replies: That's baloney. The Inquisition killed about two thousand people, max. Secular anti-religious regimes like Nazism and Communism murdered in the 20th Century more people than all religions in all of history have murdered. And in America today, I warrant that most murderers did not attend religious services regularly before they murdered.

Fred replies: You comment that the Inquisition only killed a couple of thousand people, and allege that "secular" anti-religious regimes killed more people than religious regimes.

First, I dispute that the Nazis were antireligious. The Catholic and Lutheran churches survived the Nazi regime unscathed.

Second, I dispute your assessment of the Inquisition, unless you are limiting your analysis to the inquisition in Spain. That was not the only place where the inquisition worked its mischief.

Third, the church's slaughter of heretics was not limited to the use of the inquisition. Consider, for example, the slaughter of Protestants during the St. Bartholomew Day Massacre in France. Also consider the slaughter of Catholics by Protestants and Protestants by Catholics during the 30 year's war (one of the bloodiest wars in European history).

I would also suggest that you consider the Church's slaughter of numerous other groups such as the Arian heretics, the Gnostics, the Albigensian heretics, and lots of other folks who were dispatched to the next world courtesy of the church. The slaughter of these groups was complete--they were exterminated.

Also consider the murder of non-believers by other religious groups, e.g. the pogroms against Jews in areas controlled by the Eastern Orthodox faith.

Fourth, you side-step Mr. Raven's remarks about the Crusades. Clearly, the church murdered more than a few thousand people. But Fifth, your comparison of the church to the Communists and the Nazis is unfair. Query what would the church have done to Moslems and Jews if, during the years 500 to 1700, it had the technology available to the Nazis? What would it have done to other non-believers? It would not have been a pretty sight.

I think you could argue that the difference between the mayhem caused by the Nazis from 1938-1945, and the mayhem caused by the church, 500-1700, had more to do with opportunity than morality, eh?

Luke replies: Maybe. Not necessarily. Anyway, I live in America in the 21st Century. And in America now, religious people tend to act more decently than non-religious people. And they certainly don't peddle pornography or drugs or homosexuality as alternate lifestyles.

Alien replies: Luke read this stuff. Very educational. I have never told you, or any of your readers that I have read much, much, far to much about religeons. It is a topic that disgusts me to no end, and yet fascinates me on the same token due to the fact that it's stupidity amazes me so. Hence probably the reason why I am attracted to your writings. Not that your some sorta prophet but what it is... "Your a man that is able to exploit weakness" Not only do your writings exploit weakness in adult entertainment but it also demonstrates weakness in Religeon. I blame religeon for destroying and damaging one of the most integral aspects of life and hindering the human species progression through time. Procreation is fundamental to a species survival. If the religeons of the world did not attack sex and suppress it, I and all those that I work with would not be in business today as there would be no need nor that much of a great demand for sexual entertainment. http://www.antichrist.com.au/crimeline.html - A chronology of religeous stupidity within recorded time. I count more than 2000 deaths easily here... Do not read it as 100% fact but it is a source perhaps, especially since the Vatican will not release documents that recorded the Inquisition accurately. Some and many portions of recorded history within the Vatican's massive library in this day have been of course... Destroyed. There just may be no proof to the death tole of the inquisition, however historians have estimated as much as 93,000 while others estimate 42,000. The more painful effect of the Inquisition however is how it scared and intimidated the populace but then again the above numbers are certainly enough to make one shudder.

Here are some more interesting links about the inquisition: http://es.rice.edu/ES/humsoc/Galileo/Student_Work/Trial96/loftis/overview.html

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/08026a.htm

Here is an interesting peice as well but not exactly about the inquisition http://www.positiveatheism.org/writ/abimalic.htm

PS: Did you know that the catholics ordered hygene practices to be a heretic act because of Greek/Roman hygene advancements? And in turn it also resulted in a massive spread of the plague killing literally 1000's if not 10's of thousands? It shows the stupidity clearly.

Alan Miles writes: Luke: You're luke-warm, not even near the truth. The sons and daughters of strict religious upbringings, usually the sons and daughters of the local preachers, were the wildest and most sexually active kids in high school. Once the blinders are off, and they see that religion and those spewing about it are liars, they want to experience real life. The best thing the Southern Baptist Church has ever done for pornography [and the swinging lifestyle] is to provide the adult industry with willing and ready players. I did a survey a decade ago and found that most swingers were raised in conservative, strictly religious households. Have you ever considered doing a similar survey for the "players" in the adult video industry?

Bob Jones replies to Luke: True enough to be half true. If you want to start comparing numbers, it's important to keep the technology and population growth in mind. The communists and nazis outdo the Crusades only because the technology of killing advanced so far this century. If nuclear weapons had been available at the last millenium, the entire Northeastern Mediterranean, from Isanbul to Jerusalem, the Balkans included, would still be radioactive. It's difficult to compare brutalities. Who were more brutal, nazis who executed by bureaucracy and gas pellet or crusaders who did so personally, by rage and sword? If you decide to kill or rape everyone in Istanbul, and there are only 20,000 people there because it's 1200 AD and you're still in Constantinople, are you less evil that someone who rapes or kills everyone in part of Warsaw because there are more people in Warsaw? Are you more or less evil if you don't kill the ones who agree to convert (the inquisition)? What if you prefer to maim (Sierra Leone)? I don't have a clue, and these aren't meaningful comparisons. After a point, evil is evil.

It may also be a mischaracterization to say that the nazis were secular or anti-religious. They were highly ritualized, created a complex and overarching mythology complete with creation and armageddon legends, and did engage in worship of the state. The communists also had a complex mythology, but I don't believe they were so ritualized. As I recall, they tried ritualization, and it didn't catch on, except in North Korea and briefly in China.

It is certainly true that attending religious services correlates with not having committed murder. This would be a classic case of what statisticians call cross-linked variables. I'm going to wager that both the likelihood of committing murder and attendance at religious services also correlate with income level and population density. What is the cause, and what the effect? Who knows.

Also, if you "warrant" something, you guarantee it to be true. As in, if you sell me a house, and warrant that the boiler works, and the boiler is broken, I can get my money back or make you fix the boiler.

John writes: What about the conquistadores killing the Indians all throughout Mexico, cntrl. Amer. and S. Amer? I agree that most murderers are not regular church or synagogue goers, but I think the guy is right about catholic school students sometimes being wild. I don't know about jewish private schools, but I bet their students are pretty straight.

Luke replies: Listen up you Godless porners, and get some morality by listening to TV producer David Sacks (Third Rock From The Sun) talk about You, Me, God And Everything. Listen here. I'm gonna shove the Oral Law down your unwilling throats until you choke. And you're gonna love it.

Porners - Ask Yourself This

Chaim Amalek writes: One of your correspondents wrote: "The communists and nazis outdo the Crusades only because the technology of killing advanced so far this century."

I have seen this sort of argument before, and it seems to take as a major assumption that you need a lot of fancy 20th century (or at least 19th century) gadgetry to kill off a lot of people - machine guns, trains, a chemical industry to produce the Zyklon-B, etc. In fact, recent history has demonstrated that the fast and lethal destruction of an unwanted minority group can be dispatched with in almost no time with no advanced technology at all. The Hutus murdered about a million Tutsis in Rwanda in the space of a few months in 1994 with nothing more sophisticated in most cases than clubs and machetes. The communist Khmer Rouge of Cambodia murdered a few million using the age-old tool of starvation. If our religious ancestors failed to kill off more of their enemies, it was not because they lacked some necessary technology. Ask yourselves this, all you porners: How much technology did Cain need to kill Abel?

By the way, "shame" and "modesty" are totally different concepts. The world would be a better place if you porners could figure that out for yourselves.

Nice Jewish Girl Update

The NJG: so how many women are you dating this week?
Luzdedos1: a few
The NJG: tought jewish chick, what about vancouver kendra? what happened to her?
Luzdedos1: she's still in there with a chance
The NJG: so, you and Vanc. Kend. are over I presume?
The NJG: who are the others you are dating?
Luzdedos1: i've forgotten
Luzdedos1: what's new with you? my readers and I want to know
The NJG: well, everything is fine with Prince Charming and myself, we are way in love. I speak to him everyday and he will be moving here soon in the next couple of months.

Dr Michael Conrad Responds:

Hello, Farrell. I read your letters and I responded to your October 29 post. Luke didn't print it because at the time he felt that the thread was getting "tedious" and "it just goes on and on". It is Luke's site and he runs it as he pleases. However, things are back in the spotlight, so here is how I answered your questions in my letter of 10/31/00:

"Farrell and Jeremy Steele are again rehashing the "HIV may not cause AIDS story" (l-keford Oct 29). I refer them to the Durban Declaration to read about the way it is: http://www.durbandeclaration.org. The Durban Declaration is a better presentation than anything I could write. One of my co-authors is a signatory to the Declaration.

No, the doctor will not give you a PCR test just because you ask for it (l-keford Oct 27). His explanation may not have been accurate, or he may not have wanted to take the time to give you a complicated explanation. The PCR test is approved by the FDA only for prognosis and monitoring, not for diagnosis. It would be for other technical and legal reasons that he didn't want to give you a PCR test without having an ELISA first. The PCR test is used in the adult film industry since it can detect HIV infection a week or two earlier than an ELISA (after a month instead of 5 or 6 weeks). A positive PCR in this case should always be followed by an ELISA with a Western before any clinical action is taken.

The SF AIDS site gives an excellent discussion of the appropriate and inappropriate use of the PCR test at: http://www.sfaf.org/aids101/viral_testing.html#appropriate

If you still don't know what to think, I suggest you talk to someone, possibly older than you, possibly gay, and who lived in the 80s. I'd wager that just about everybody that person knew who became HIV+, later got sick and died. Thats what happened. And this was before the "might be poisonous" HIV anti-viral medication. Incidentally, people with AIDS live longer now with the anti-viral medication. AIDS is (almost) becoming a treatable, chronic condition. AIDS is a tragedy. Its not funny, its nothing to argue about, and its nothing to be taken lightly.

About your post on 1/26/01, there are AIDS denialists and Rasnick is one. He may have patents, etc (I have a patent, too) but I can't tell you why he says what he does. He may have his own disputes and arguments with people in the field. But I wouldn't risk my life just because he says something is OK. Especially when everyone else dismisses him and there are people getting sick and dying from AIDS. Rasnick might be wrong. Sometimes clever people are wrong about things. You can see what Rasnick says at the Rethinking AIDS site:

http://www.virusmyth.net/aids/data/drblinded.htm

If you'd like to see what the medical establishment says about Rasnick's position: http://www.mischealthaids.org/aids_treatment_improves_survival.htm

The above mentioned http://www.sfaf.org and http://www.mischealthaids.org/ are two excellent sites for information about HIV and AIDS.

Well, I can look at the homepage of Homegrown Video. But that can't tell me if all those "swingers and sexual adventurers are healthy or happy with their sex lives" AIDS effects can take years to appear. I hope the performers adhere to the testing standards adopted by the adult film industry. One more thing, sure we could have a debate sometime. And I presume Luke's show would be the appropriate forum. I hope he'll have us.

Extreme Football

I thought the analogies between extreme porn and extreme football obvious.

George Will writes in the Washington Post: But just when you thought you could soon turn on the television without seeing some testosterone-crazed linebacker doing a celebration dance after making a particularly disabling tackle, along comes the XFL. An "extreme" football league, it debuts Saturday night on NBC, which hopes it will build the audience for "Saturday Night Live." The XFL, brainchild of Vince McMahon Jr., who runs the World Wrestling Federation, will attempt something difficult -- the further coarsening of America.