Tuesday, January 23rd, 2001

Rebutting Mark Kernes

RPM writes: Anyone who wonders why the public likes John Ashcroft just has to look at Mark Kernes' rant on the Inside Adult site. The guy can only make his point with a series of lies and false characterization. Kernes complains about "Ashcroft's assertion in an address at Bob Jones University in 1999 that 'We have no king but Jesus.'" Well, a Christian is allowed to say that when talking to other Christians. There's a freedom to congregate.

Kernes also invokes Ashcroft's "obstructionist approach to school desegregation" without mentioning that Ashcroft's concerns about the desegregation plan were backed up by the courts. Kernes then tells us that Ashcroft has stated "that slavery wasn't a 'perverted agenda' of the Confederate states." Either Kernes has never read the magazine interview in question, or he's lying. Either way, he's no better than the folks who tried to ban The Last Temptation of Christ without ever seeing the movie.

Kernes gets especially upset that "Ashcroft's upbringing was so fundamentalist that he didn't even dance as a teen." Hey, Joe Lieberman doesn't eat cheeseburgers for religious reasons. Judging from Kernes' physique, the guy should have been a lot more offended over that shocking detail.

Luke On Mancow Show

I appeared on the nationally syndicated radio show Mancow this morning (Mancow.com). It was bizarre.

I first came on the show 18 months ago. After waiting on hold for about 15 minutes, the host Mancow Muller asked me "Well, what can I learn from your book aside from how to masturbate?"

I answered, "Well, masturbation is the whole point of pornography."

He cut me off there and that was my whole appearance on his moronic show, which I'd never heard of.

I swore to myself afterwards that I would never again do his show. It was the rudest treatment I'd ever received from a radio station.

Then Monday, I got a call from a nice young woman who invited me on the Mancow show the next morning. Like a wussy, I accepted.

The interview was scheduled for 5:40AM. No call. At 6:30AM, I get in the shower to prepare to go to shul. At 6:40AM, the station calls. I run out of the shower naked, get the phone and get ready to go on the air.

I wait ten minutes on hold. The host talks about how pissed I am and how he will let me cool my heels. Finally I get on and we talk for about five minutes. Listen here.

I thought many porners were moronic, but these shock talk radio guys are just as bad.

Marc writes: i've not heard much of his stuff, but the idea with these shock talk shows seems to be that you should be in complete prostrating deference to the host, hence the treatment you describe. howard stern was operating more on this plane about five years ago, if you catch any of his "best of" material lots of it consists of him hollering his head off at callers who disagree with his point of view--maybe this was a good outlet for his then-unspoken marital problems, but he seems to have outgrown it for the most part. it becomes a badge of honor for the drooling listeners to be subject to this invective, which is why many of the regulars get nicknames--retard this or stuttering that. no more or less demeaning than porn flicks.

That was a GREAT appearance with mancow. i don't know what else was swirling in your brain when you did the show--and, arguably, you'd have been better spending those five minutes wrapping your tefillin--yet he elucidated the entire moral thesis behind your reporting within that time frame. in fact, he makes you out to seem like a complete hypocrite. is that where all the resentment, and the feeling of humiliation following the call, is stemming from?

Steph from AdultDVDTalk.com writes: Luke, you're not alone in poor treatment by the Mancow Show. Last year the Mancow people called me to ask me to be on the show, pitching Mancow as the other Howard Stern. They confirmed the day before. I got up at 5:45am the morning of the show and never received a call. I called them to ask what the heck was going on and they didn't even know who I was.

Devoto writes: Luke, I did not know you were SO sensitive as to be upset by the exploits of a person who makes their living off of using SHOCK value coupled with "real news". HOWEVER, I feel your pain and can empathize completely. Why, just yesterday I was chatting with a WEB-personality and the conversation was VERY one sided and the only responses I got from this personality were ones that were designed to emit a response from me that could be used as content for their web site. I know how you feel, degraded and dirty like you were used simply as a tool to increase the person's listenership/readership. So, Luke, how does it feel to be used?? How does it feel to know that you can ONLY provide this personality with content to fill their "air" time (web space)? THE only solace I found was that this person respected (?) my views enough to use them as content. PERHAPS you should realize that too? CHEER UP LUKE, you are an interesting person, and if someone is "using" you ONLY in that capacity, as LEAST you are being used. A fellow narcissist should be able to realize that!

Alien writes: Sorry about that Mancow crap. But you know most of the main stream does not have the first clue about adult entertainment. They still think it's funny, and in time they will see there market share slowly dissipate due to interest's in more extreme life styles:)

Rick writes: I remember Mancow got fired from a radio station here in San Francisco when he shut down traffic on the Bay Bridge (on which about 100,000 people travel a day) for over an hour to get a haircut, which if I remember correctly had something to do with Clinton or Bush senior getting a haircut on Air Force One to delay airport traffic wherever he was. Mancow was fired and the station was heavily fined.

Adam Grayson from SearchExtreme.com writes: Just read the Mancow shiznit on your site. I did his show in November, and it was downright awful. I've probably done 20 or 30 radio shows, and his was by far the most pointless, least interesting, and most amateurish piece of frequency modulation crap I have ever had my name associated with. Not only was I hold for almost an hour (after having woken up at 6:30 am to do the show), but I had to listen on hold to his Cowness talk very frankly about the existence of Satan on Earth. For 45 friggin' minutes. Even worse is that the producer came on hold after a while to apologize for the wait, and promised me second row tickets to the next WWF show in Chicago. Unfortunately I was called later that day so they could rescind that offer. It's amazing that some of the podunk cornfield shows I've done have been so much... downright better. F Mancow.

Luke Gets Mail

Dear Luke, We are an independent English TV company who are making a series of documentaries about sex on the internet. One of the shows is about amateur adult film stars on the internet, which is to be shown here in England on prime time television. I was hoping someone might be able to answer some of my questions.

How can I get hold of Carol Cox, other than via her website? I would really love to speak to her and feature her on the show as it seems she is the queen of amateur sex on the net. Are there any lesbian couples or straight couples that have their own a webcam site that would be interested in speaking to us for the show? Are there any people with great stories about the world of amateur sex on the net?

Can anybody tell me how to contact Houston? She has so much amazing press following her and we would love to feature her. Best wishes, Michael Livingstone Princess Productions London England e-mail: michael@princess.uk.com

Celeste Masters writes Luke and Tod Hunter: I saw on your site that Contract Girl Alexa Rae is asking the PUBLIC for costumes. This is ridiculous!! What kind of contract does she have if she can't afford go out and buy these costumes herself? I'm only an amateur porn performer and dancer in Las Vegas and I have all these costumes and more. What's next, will she ask for dance lessons?

Charlie writes: Not good, Luke. Think in the utilitarian. The primary function of your 'site is to disseminate information. Concepts such as design and artwork, other than considerations for information management, are just mental masturbation for a website such as yours. There was nothing wrong with your page. It didn't need fixing. Now it does.

Chaim writes: You are getting soft! First, you fail to ask Marcus how miscegenation affects black women. Then there is the noticeable drop in both the quantity and quality of antisemitic material on your board. How many sheckels are you being paid to buy your silence?

Vivid Racism

Steve Seidman writes from Adultstarsmagazine.com: Well now that the industry is running scared, to far in advance. Let me remind you that about 28 years ago the feds inacted what you can and can't do atttached to the Child Porn Acts. This is the only thing they can enforce as far as laws they have to follow. I don't remenmber seeing no facials, no interracial and no peeing. The only way Ashcroft can go after us is to change all the laws on the books, which will tack awhile. It now seems that the first people he will go after are the internet people who some in that genre feel that we in the adult industry are scumbags. Well, if it weren't for us scumbags where would they get the initial pictures needed for those on the internet to jerk off to. I've said my peace for today, but there will be more.

Lynne writes: I am appalled over Vivid's racist marketing decision to eliminate interracial photographs from their boxes, and to hear that Mr. Marcus has been told to discuss the situation with Chris Mann, of Video Team, rather than talking it over with MM in a straightforward fashion.

As MM points out, interracial sex is not in itself obscene. Vivid's decision (probably their attorney's decision) is at the very least based on an erroneous understanding of obscenity law and possibly internal racism (something which MM would know more about than I, as I have never dealt directly with Vivid).

Vivid is also known for their lack of intellectual acumen at the executive level, whereas Chris Mann of Video Team is considered one of the more intelligent porn execs. Unfortunately, Chris has a penchant for letting the ends justify the means, and, based on my personal experience with him, he does not hesitate to prevaricate to further his position, whereas Luke and I adhere to the truth, even when it does us damage. Mr. Marcus seems well aware of this when he states that he will NOT discuss the matter with Mann: he doesn't want to hear excuses.

Prior to the main thrust of the Operation Wormwood Justice Department busts, Video Team was convicted of obscenity over interracial material in Dallas, Texas. The material in question was not only interracial, but, if I remember correctly, featured black men abusing white women physically and orally. Most probably it was the abuse and degradation that prompted the conviction, not the mere fact of interracial activity.

Of all the Operation Wormwood busts, only one went to trial: the rest were plea bargained for massive fines and/or jail time. The material was selected for the busts in a totally arbitrary fashion based on what the prosecutors thought might be obscene -- none of it was actually found obscene by a jury.

Mr. Marcus and I have had our differences on the set during the two projects on which we worked together, but I am sure he recognizes the commitment my late husband and I have always made to quality product featuring performers of color. Video Team has been allowed to hold the Negro Porn Franchise for such product; most other interracial porn tends to be low-budget crap, and Bruce and I were deterred by Adult Video News from competing with Video Team in this arena. My work is available for viewing, so porners should form their own opinions of it. Ultimately it comes down to that old Jew thing: we'll make money off the "schwartzers' " but we don't have to respect them. Sorry, Mr. Marcus....

Papa Roach In Backstage Sluts

Musician David Buckner of Papa Roach tells Indie411.com: "Papa Roach actually did that Jane Jane appearance in the porn after they were signed. It was actually a joke for Jane Jane them, as quite a few people from the scene (Mark from Sugar Ray, the Snot Jane Jane guys, Jon from Korn) have appeared in Zane's Backstage series.

"We'll never be in another porno. We were in a video called Backstage Jane Sluts. We were in the studio and one of the guys who worked there was a good Jane friend of [the producer]. He asked us if we wanted to be in a video and we Jane were young and dumb at that point. And we were like, 'Sure, why not?' This Jane was in November of last year, before the record and we had no idea we would Jane be where we are now. What we're doing in the video is innocent enough, for a Jane porno. We're tossing lunch meat at a naked porno chick, at her butt to see Jane if it would stick. That's our contribution to the adult film industry. There was a nice big picture of it in Spin Magazine. We'll never do anything like Jane that again."

IEG's Loses Their Legal Counsel

Poison rocker Bret Michaels has sued Seth Warshavsky, Seth's Internet Entertainment Group (IEG), Westwood One Radio Networks and Tom Leykis, over, the sex tapes Seth streamed over hs website Clublove.com.

Seth's legal counsel withdrew from the case last week. The judge permitted Alan L. Isaacman and Steven H. Blackman and the firm of Isaacman, Kaufman and Blackman to withdraw as legal counsel for IEG.

XXX writes: I'm always confused whenever Bret Michaels shows up to complain about private videotapes being released. I was once told, circa '97, that his attorneys were offering some of his tapes for sale to one of my employers. And since this was before any of us knew Michaels actually had videotapes, that seems to have been the truth.

Porn's Most Wanted

Dick Nasty writes: Hi Luke, This is Dick Nasty, and last weekend I was robbed and over $1,000, a video camera, still camera, and web content was taken.

The suspects are two people who had been staying with me for about two months. I have a web page up with the details, and pictures and ID information on the suspects. The URL is: http://www.littlegrayguy.com/pages/dicknasty.htm

The suspects were originally from Florida and Pennsylvania, and the girl, stage name Aryan, had been spending her time here working for several of the adult video companies in town. Some friends are lending me a page on their website so we can find these people. If anyone has any information on the whereabouts of these two suspects, please email me at: thedicknasty@hotmail.com.

Seth's legal counsel withdrew from the case last week. The judge permitted Alan L. Isaacman and Steven H. Blackman and the firm of Isaacman, Kaufman and Blackman to withdraw as legal counsel for IEG.

To Cradle You In Love

Lynne L-patin writes: Dear Luke: Every few months, like a little kid begging for her favorite fairy tale, Goddess wants me to tell her the story of how I fell in love with Luke F-rd. Perhaps she knows how it brightens my day to relive that day...sitting on the roof with you...knowing that something tremendous was entering my life...wondering where it would lead...

So this morning I told her the story, and went off to school thinking about what to do with this love for you, and I decided what I would do should I be able to love you perfectly: I would make my love for you into a pillowy softness...billowing, cushioning cloud-like softness...to enfold and cocoon you in warmth and safety...cradle you in love and rock you gently...let your fears, your anxiety slip away...give you a warm, safe space in which you are loved so fully, so completely, that you need not doubt yourself for an instant.

And since to imagine such a thing makes it a reality in some undefined dimension in this universe of infinite dimensions, then I HAVE made such a place for you, and it is yours to enjoy whenever you feel the need...

Lynne L-patin: Thank you beloved for the wonderful new format and enjoy the radio or whatever you are doing at this horrendous hour.
Lynne L-patin: goddess says people are bitching, but I am happy for a change
Lynne L-patin: I am just telling goddess the wonderful romantic story of how we fell in love....
Lynne L-patin: for about the fifteenth time...she likes hearing it
Lynne L-patin: e-mail address for Mr. Marcus?
Lynne L-patin: They're f---ing with him again
Lynne L-patin: and I rarely bother with your racial stuff, but will shower and get back with something....
Lynne L-patin: the aqua color on the new page one is kinda hard to read
Lynne L-patin: I'm out of time, dear one, fighting racism is almost worth being late to school....I can only reiterate that you are the best thing ever about the porn industry...