Sunday, January 7th, 2001

AOL Sues CEN

XXX writes: Well, AOL is suing CEN (Cyber Entertainment Networks), and the webmasters that worked for CEN from accidents that happed 1 1/2 or more years ago. I am one of the webmasters that are being sued behind sending email out to AOL members, which their calling it 'spam mail'. CEN has gave AOL...webmasters address and info, to save their asses, also two years ago, most of these webmasters were 15 or 16 years of age. I decided to give CEN a call, they wanted to play dumb, act like they know nothing about this suit, which I think is unprofessional.

Whoremonger's Solution To Prostitution - Ladies, Give It Up For Free

Paley "Should I go to work as LPIN??" Hi, I am a married, soon to be separated/divorced woman 32 yrs. considered beautiful, 5'9" brunette/ black hair. shapley/in shape, 34 D. Good taste, well dressed, level headed, no drugs or addictions. Should I go to work in the leagal brothels in Nevada??

Mike* Personally, I dont recomend you work as a prostitute, as they say the best things in life are free, one shouldnt have to pay for sex, and if every women realized this wouldnt have prostitution today. Click here: NV Brothels Discussion Forum

Vancouver Sun Investigates Canadian Porner

VancouverSun.com reports:

A longtime Vancouver pornography importer and distributor is now exporting to the U.S. a potentially deadly chemical that is widely thought to enhance sexual pleasure but is illegal in both Canada and the States if sold for that purpose.

Tony Perry is one of two directors of AAA Packaging of Delta, which has shipped hundreds of thousands of units of isobutyl nitrite to customers in almost every state in the United States, according to documents obtained by The Vancouver Sun.

A [1973?] report prepared by CLEU -- the now-defunct Coordinated Law Enforcement Unit, a joint operation of the RCMP and municipal forces formed to fight organized crime -- noted that sex stores were selling magazines grouped according to such subject areas as "bondage," "homosexual," "heterosexual," and "kiddie porn."

It was the latter that caused then-Vancouver Mayor Jack Volrich to take matters in his own hands. Magazines called Moppets and Nudist Moppets were being displayed in city stores, and Volrich said those magazines crossed the line.

The Moppets magazines were distributed by Johnson and Franklin. Volrich said at the time it was difficult for the city to deal with magazines that contained adult nudity. "But this (Moppets) can only be designed for people who have perverse habits," the mayor said.

Volrich went downtown, visited the stores selling Moppets and ordered the store owners to remove the offending books from their shelves, using as his leverage provisions of the city charter that prohibit businesses from "gross misconduct."

Moppets, the mayor said, "depict children in a very gross manner." The store-keepers complied.

Contacted by reporters, Perry said all his product was cleared by Canada Customs. "But if somebody in authority at the local level has any objection, they should just let us know and we'll withdraw it," Perry said at the time. "I'm just trying to make a living, not break the law." He added: "I order from catalogues -- it's not up to me and neither is it proper for me to check the validity of my suppliers."

The suppliers of Moppets would not have appreciated being "checked out." The Moppets magazines were published and distributed by a company called Lynden Distributors of Van Nuys, California, a CLEU investigation determined. The company was controlled by the late Reuben Sturman, a mobster from Cleveland with ties to New York crime families.

Sturman is also credited with inventing the peep booth, by enclosing coin-operated projectors in a small booth with a screen and a door that could be locked. Tony Perry had several peep booths in his stores. Sturman, according to several U.S. crime probes, supplied booths to adult-book store owners free of charge, in return for half the receipts.

A never-before- published report by the Middle Atlantic-Great Lakes Organized crime law enforcement network showed Sturman's empire spanned the U.S., Europe, South America and Africa. Sturman reached into Canada through his ownership of Bret Distributors Inc. of Toronto, a connection that has never before been published.

Organized crime commissions in the U.S. heard repeated testimony that Sturman took orders from -- or at least paid kickbacks to -- leaders of the Gambino crime family in New York. Convicted of tax evasion in 1992, Sturman died in a U.S. prison in 1997.

In a brief to a House of Commons committee on crime in 1978, B.C. police agencies said of Perry's company: "Johnson and Franklin were the major distributors of this material in British Columbia and have been shown to obtain the majority of their material through their organized crime contacts."

The brief continued: "A prior investigation by the Vancouver police department and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police established that seizures of pornographic material by police were written off by the organized crime concerns and not charged to Johnson and Franklin."

Luke says: Read more about Moppets and child porn here. And read here about Reuben Sturman. And here about the Mafia and porn. Lynne L-patin remembers working with Moppets distributor Paul Wisner.

Just in case there's any doubt, here's a small list of pornographers who created and distributed child pornography: Paul Wisner, Milton Luros, Reuben Sturman, Parliament News which morphed into Gourmet Video, Circus of Books and the list goes on and on and on. And folks like the revered late Stanley Fleischman led the charge defending child pornography and obfuscating the issue of child porn.

Eddie Nash Ordered Into Jail

LOS ANGELES (AP) - A former nightclub owner has been sent back to jail to await trial on racketeering charges in connection with four 1981 killings that put a spotlight on drugs and pornography in Hollywood. U.S. District Judge Carlos R. Moreno ordered 71-year-old Eddie Nash back to jail Friday for violating conditions of his November release on $1.5 million bond. Nash, whose real name is Adel Nasrallah, is accused of running a 25-year racketeering enterprise that used murder and mayhem to protect heroin and cocaine dealers.

Bush Strikes Again

Plasticman writes on RAME: There's only one thing that Linda Chavez likes less than pornography, and that's when she finds it on the Internet.

The conservative queen of syndicated outrage, who happens to be George W. Bush's pick to head the Department of Labor, has repeatedly warned of what she describes as the perils of sexually explicit material online and urged government action against it. If the Senate gives her the nod, Chavez will not have any day-to-day responsibilities dealing with online speech. But her nomination signals the approach that a Bush presidency is likely to take toward sexually explicit material online.

One example: Chavez, currently a weekly columnist, jumped into a dispute in 1998 over the use of filtering software in a Virginia public library. After a federal judge ruled that Loudoun County's restrictive filtering policy was too broad and violated the First Amendment, Chavez showed up at the library board's next hearing and urged the members to appeal the courtroom defeat.

"Judge Brinkema's decision goes far beyond any reasonable interpretation of the 'free speech' clause of the First Amendment and sets dangerous legal precedent that if left unchallenged will debase the political freedoms of citizens in a democracy to enact sensible policies designed both to protect children and uphold community standards of decency and decorum in public places," Chavez said in a written statement.

In a column at the time, she blasted U.S. District Judge Leonie Brinkema's ruling, saying Loudoun County will be where "the constitutional right to view child pornography, bestiality and snuff films in a public library was first established, thanks to a federal court ruling last week." She also condemned a Supreme Court decision last year to strike down some rules governing cable TV scrambling on free speech grounds. Another column complained about her "unwanted brush with gay pornography" when she was channel-surfing late one night in a Manhattan hotel room.

In other appointments: The House Republicans on Friday chose committee chairmen for the 107th Congress. Taking over the Commerce committee is Rep. Billy Tauzin, another Washington pornophobe. "Frankly, I think the Justice Department's record on prosecuting obscenity and indecency on the Internet is appalling," Tauzin (R-Louisiana) said last May.

Tauzin, who was the telecom subcommittee chairman, has also complained that under the Clinton administration, dot-gov firms did not adequately protect online privacy. Last month he attacked the FCC for embarking "on a pernicious form of regulation using the process of licensing approval and renewal, or whatever gets someone in front of them, to get whoever it is to stay in that room until they agree to the commission's policies."

Tauzin has supported restrictions on Internet gambling and won an award from the Business Software Alliance last year for backing the controversial Digital Millennium Copyright Act.

JCJoe writes: King Louis XV said this, shortly before his death, knowing that the French Revolution was inevitable. Louis XV was well aware that his weak-willed and ill-equipped grandson would be ascending to the throne and would "kow tow" to the demands of more powerful personalties around him. So what does this have to do with RAME? Only that the weak personality, I prefer to call "Daddy's Coat Tails," is soon to be our President and will "kow tow" to religious right fanatics such as Jerry Fallwell and Pat Robison to "Make America Pure Again."

The followers of these "crackpots" will make it VERY HARD on the adult industry and then, when the Bush-Chicanery (after all, they stole Florida with the help of the "Governor Brother" and an attractive woman "frothing" with political ambition) Administration implants two Supreme Court ultra-conservative "do gooders," comes the DELUGE..........btw, it has always amazed me that the religious right fanatics ONLY read the parts of the Bible that will fit into their "narrow-minded" agenda. Thus, it is comforting to me that the VAST majority of the so-called "moral Majority" will find, "no reward in your Father's house in heaven." (Matthew VI-1)

*I hope this letter is posted and that RAME readers will read the above biblical passage and "CHUCKLE" at the hypocrisy of the person holding religious messages between the goal posts at this holiday season's bowl games...........Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to ALL RAMERS! We will need it in the coming years when the "full weight" of the Bush-Chicanery Administration "crashes down our chimneys" to destroy our First Amendment Rights!!

Top Ten From 1996

Dick O'Stone writes on alt.sex.movies in 1996:

Taylor Hayes -- Beautiful, nasty, and there's nothing she won't do. She's got around 10 videos to her credit, I'd guess, though she's been in the business for more than a year. This girl would be a superstar by now if she weren't working strictly with Seymour Butts, IMHO.

April -- This petite blonde is built like the proverbial brick s---house. She probably has augmented breasts, but they still look good, not obvious fakes like Davia Ardell's. April gives great blowjobs and dosn't shy away from facials. She's usually several names down the cast list and generally has only one scene per video. And for some reason, AVN generally doesn't mention her scenes when it reviews the videos she's in. Most of her work lately has been for Buck Adams and/or Sin City; she was on the boxcover of "This Year's Blonde" late last year or early this year, and she's also on an MDD boxcover. She's very pretty and enthusiastic, with a pouty mouth and expressive eyes. Check her out!

Brigitte Belle -- Billed sometimes only as Brigitte, I know she's done several videos for Ed Powers, and, I think, one for Evil or Elegant Angel. This curly-haired 20-year-old, natural-breasted brunette is flat-out gorgeous. Imagine a more beautiful Felicia, with a younger, less angular face. So far, I believe she's only worked with Ed and her SO, Ray Swazy; here's hoping that will change. If anybody can steer me to more of her work, I'd appreciate it.

Tatianna -- A beautiful Hispanic girl (no accent) who has appeared in a lot of anal-themed movies (sadly, as I'm not much into that). Again, natural breasts and a beautiful smile.

Lexi Erickson (Ericsson, Erikson, etc.) -- They can't spell her name right, but this petite blonde dancer from Wisconsin is so unbearably cute you want to take her home to Mom. She's got a hideous tattoo on the outside of one calf, but generally, her photographers have done a great job of cncealing it. She has B-cup breasts and a slender, though not curvy, frame. She says she's making porn movies "for the heck of it," just another life experience to add. She, too, take facials frequently, and the only time I've seen her give less than a good performance was when she got double-teamed by Sean Michaels and Mr. Marcus, when it appears as if her conservative upbringing (or maybe it was two big dicks) made it appear as if she were a little nervous about doing two black guys.

Mercedes -- There's just something about this girl's looks that I like, despite the tattoo above her left breast, the pierced tongue and pierced clit. I don't know why, she just does something for me.

Biggest disappointments of 1996:

Jenteal does guys -- Maybe this is why Janine won't -- the expectations (hopes, really) far exceeded the reality.

Alexis Christian doesn't -- puleeeze! At least give us one chance to lump her with Jenteal, with Missy, or somewhere in between.

Nikki Tyler -- yawn

Kobe Tai -- IMHO, she looks a lot better in stills than she does on video -- her boob job is too big for her petite frame, and her face just isn't as pretty. But I'd look at boxcovers or flyers with her picture all day long!

Stagliano's Facedance

Richard Freeman writes: Happy New Year, Luke. I rented what appears to be the latest from Stagliano. Tape opens with a pretty hot scene with three women and some protracted face-sitting (though the sitter has panties on, which I found as erotic as without). At any rate, later in the tape, one of these women is paired up with Nacho Vidal and Hakan. Vidal is forcing her all the way down on his not inconsiderable unit, and for the first time in decades of viewing, I saw a woman with a tear down her cheek. Either she was so aroused it moved her to tears, or... I can't believe that this footage was used. The industry continues to turn out material that eases the path for the censorship-minded. Stagliano should know better.

America Bukkake 11 - The Thrill Is Gone

Ridley99 writes on RAME: Sticky icky reviews: American Bukkake # 11 finally saw this over the weekend, read Rogs review so i knew what to expect. my only question was : is the American Bukkakke series getting better, getting worse or is it miring in its own slop.

one positive thing that i can quickly mention is that the girls are pretty, so as opposed to the s--- going on with the Dr Fellatio series in which plain Janes are paid minimum wage to fall asleep on some dudes dick, Bukkake is paying the talent and by so doing shows us the spending public they give a damn. Kiki Dare is lovely as is Candy Cotten even Kat Langer produces good wood.

I do have issues with this video and the series in general. The Bukkakes are kind of boring. In the first one : Kat Langer lies on a desk , flat on her back, i hate this angle. Kat basicly closes her eyes and silently suffers the orgy of man snot. Candy Cotten who tops off my personal A list, as the girl who i always look for on a boxcover, has a bulls--- Bukkake, first off she wears big- fun house eye glasses, its like hiding behind a windshield, she also wears a long sleeved shirt, in other words 90 percent of her flesh is protected from flying cum. I truly don't understand the f---in point, either your going to do a Bukkake or your not. i was bored through out this first 2 scenes. They basically had nothing to offer. Candy catches a lot of cum in her mouth but some how it doesn't grab me by the libido.

Kiki's Bukkake is a bit better, Kiki looks better than i've ever seen her, and she has a sweet kittinish way of talking as she urges the guys to douse her with dick puke. She takes about 3 or 4 memorable hits, guys really unloading on her face with 6 or 8 stream multiples. but for the most part there is no one scene that i can actually remember looking at and saying wow thats a nasty f---in hot scene, let me rewind and see that again. also of note Kiki seems to bungle the cum bong, and losses most the egg nog over her shoulder. i was intrigued by a dwarf named goliath, but if he came on Kiki i wasn't aware of it, maybe as small as he was he came on her knee cap.

There have been some great Bukkake's, looking back, i seem to enjoy scenes in which we get alot of interaction with the girl and the situation, i remember how in a past Bukkake a girl her face covered in cum, her eyes plastered shut, got hit with a 7 stream multiple, " s--- " she yelled " its burning me. " maybe it was the Alien , they have acid for cum. Another girl almost dropped her bowl of egg nog when Mr Foreskin unloaded one of his mega-loads oh her. I miss Mr Foreskin. i can only presume that his cum was like lava because he never failed to get a responce.

so in conclussion i give this vid credit for having pretty girls but there is nothing memorable about it. some suggestion : keep the girls off thier backs, get talkative girls, but the girls would do better to comment on the cumshots,example : that was a fuken hot one, or . that tastes terrible, but no matter what she says it should be honest, try to find down to earth girls rather than super sluts, its more sexy, it turns me off when the girl acts like shes hungry for cum.a girl should act natural and not put on an act. another suggestion, start having the girl suck on the guys dicks after they cum , if you want to do the cum bong thing then have the guys cum on the girls face then have her suck out the last drop from the dudes dick and spit the junk into the bong. no more sunglasse or shirts or suits of armor...thank you. as far as i am concerned Candy Cotten still owes me a Bukkake. as for my original question: is American Bukkake, going forward, going backward or miring in its own slop, its definitely miring baby.

Bukkake, Bukkake, Bukkake, Where's The Romance?

Concerned writes: Kudos to Ridley99 for pointing out that the current bukkake themes are played OUT! Where is the imagination? Where is the story? Where is the romance? It doesn't have to be sophisticated. A simple story will do. Something like: 87 boys meet girl. 87 boys pursue girl. 87 boys jack off on the face of girl. Fade to black.

But I'll Always Miss Bukkake

Lynne L-patin writes: It has been such a pleasure, Luke, to participate on the site again during my winter break. Just like olden days, when porn was my life, and you were a beacon of relative sanity shining brightly in the gutter. Hey, if you end up at CES, enjoy it for me, willya? I couldn't justify the expense, school starts January 8, I had to work over the weekend and it's okay with me if I never see you again anyway.

What I want to say to other women before I vanish for another twelve weeks is that most certainly they can have Career #1 in porn, and Career #2 in something else. All of us these days - not just entertainers - need to plan for more than one career in our long lives anyway.

This will definitely be my last full time term at community college unless I'm accepted in the vet tech program on my re-application in May, in which case I start up again in September for two solid years of animal science.

The "secret" in "getting out of porn" seems to be maintaining some sort of separate civilian life from which one can get references, even if they aren't from paid employment. (NOT blowing one's breasts up to cartoon proportions has got to help a girl in the real world...)

Not that getting out of porn is easy...it isn't just a matter of learning new skills. Even though I was on the whole NOT a performer, and even though I have plenty of business skills and an ancient B.A. in management, I have to build a track record with non-porn players. I needed work references that AREN'T porn, character references that weren't pornographers. Two out of three references on the application I am turning into XXX next week are porn-based: you and VCA, but the third is an instructor at the community college from whom I am taking a third class and who's now known me for six months. And in addition to my porn companies Casino Productions and Publishers' Marketing Services, I can now list two non-porn job references (one at the vaccination clinic, and my work-study job in the towel room). I've worked very hard over the last year to distance myself from the porn community so that I can move on to something else. I can ALWAYS go back, though after this much hard work it would take one helluva offer. Porn was my career choice for many years and I was always very happy working in the business -- I just couldn't tolerate the disrespect I received from within the industry.

Porn is like any other entertainment career....sometimes it takes years to build up to stardom, but, at some point, one has to make a choice as to whether one wants to continue with it or pursue something more certain. Back when I managed rock bands I would tell young musicians that they needed to plan on giving the Goddess of Music ten full years...but that, after ten years, they needed to plan on pursuing something else. The same with porn -- after a couple years, one knows whether one's gonna be a Vivid Girl or bukkake girl and, after ten years one's welcome as a female performer is pretty well worn out. One either moves into production or office work in the porn industry, or one starts up in something else. (Guys have a slightly different, and longer, career path -- they do better starting off later, when they've learned control of their dicks and, provided they stay in shape, do their best work in their thirties and early forties, during which time they can easily cross over into production and management if they have the inclination.)

Most of my work in porn was done behind the scenes, in offices. I give great file. I may have started as a model, but within months I moved into magazine production, only returning to performing in my forties during my last couple years in the business. I was sad when I had to give up working as a model -- I was still young and cute --but it was a condition of my employment at Parliament News as an editor, because at the time the legality of performing hardcore was unestablished. (We could sell it under the First Amendment, but we couldn't make it?)

When I first moved to Oregon, I was listing both Heatwave Entertainment and Marina Pacific Distributors as employment references and learned quickly that this was a mistake. My first follow-up phone call from a serious job interview generated hysterical laughter. Needless to say, I didn't get that job. I took the first job I was offered: a job perceived as so "distasteful" that the company took whatever warm bodies they could get to commit to it without checking references.

Fortunately for me, I LOVE the job, and I'm very good at it, which is all that matters. I've been promoted and received a raise: I'm now making $7.50 an hour running mobile animal vaccination clinics in Seattle on weekends. I have to consider the money irrelevant or I'd be stressing out big time -- but one lesson I've learned at the advanced age of forty-five is NEVER to quit a job you love: they come along far too infrequently. Better to declare bankruptcy and re-build your life in a new income bracket -- money is only an aid to happiness, not its guarantee.

My second job (I'm working about 35 hours a week, going to school full time and holding a 3.77 cumulative average after three terms) is a work-study job, which didn't require references, but which will provide them. I show up on time with a cheerful attitude (who wouldn't have a great attitude with free run of the ladies' locker room!) and I fold a mean towel. I have almost as many naked breasts in my day as I did when I make porn, live and all natural! Again, never quit a job that makes you happy!

The worst of it turns out to be the legal detritus from my altercation with Dave Hardman during the summer of 1999. Athough I was only charged with a misdemeanor, It will be another year before I can have it expunged, which will cost money and maybe require a trip to Los Angeles. Three guys, one neurotic actor and two policemen, chose to waste a lot of time and money when they treated the incident like criminal stalking instead of David getting his ass outside and dealing with an irate lover/producer. Well-meaning people who don't know me offer me advice like, "Apply for a government job." Yeah, right, with twenty-five years in porn and a recent weapons conviction?

Actually, next week, I'm starting to put applications various animal-related retailers. As my anatomy professor put it, I'm "transitioning," therefore need to expect constant change. I'm making decisions about where to go from "here," wherever that may be. Dr. B knows of my porn background and finds it intriguing. After twenty-five years teaching science at community college, he says my career change isn't the most extreme he's seen-- that honor goes to the former elephant trainer who, after being injured by his charge, decided to become a nurse.

This term, in chronological order, I'll be taking Weight Training, Swimming, Weight Training as a Professional Activity (i.e., learning and teaching it), Swimming, Veterinarian Parasitology, Human Anatomy Part 2 (perhaps I'll get to do some research this term on the chemical basis for our depression now that I've put the myth of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome to rest). Also a special aerobics class called "NIA" (which is somewhere between aerobics and exotic dancing in one's clothes. The physical activities are actually also my recreational activities. The social aspects of being on campus are very important as I try to build a new network of friends outside the porn business, and workout classes are very good for meeting people.

In school, getting "A" grades evens out the playing field, porn history or no. Speaking of playing fields, in athletics, results are what counts. In weightlifting, a pretty face or a specific body lean mass/fat ratio are irrelevant: what counts is how much one lifts, and whether one continues to improve one's strength and condition. My short, decidedly un-supermodel-like body is an advantage in the sport, and my Russian Jew heritage lets me build muscle like nobody's business. My arms are not long, lean and sculpted, but they are solid muscle, and that impresses the young guys in the gym.

I keep up with the twenty year old kids in the gym, and rate at the top of my class academically, and know deep in my heart that the porn movies I produced are just as good as anyone's despite AVN's ignorance. If pornographers can't appreciate my work, then, much as I LOVE porn, I'll find another way to make a living, where my superlative abilities don't scare the powers-that-be. But I'll always miss bukkake...

Rumdar writes: All those years of anals, facials, and blowjobs in preparation for a $7.50 an hour job? It gives vocational training a bad name I tell ya.

CherionRush.com

Cheri writes from CherionRush.com: I'm in Las Vegas for the VSDA and the InterNext shows and would love to do a few photo shoots or videos while I'm here. I'm 40, 5'5'', 38DD-26-36, platinum hair, and blue eyes. I have pierced nipples, clit, and navel. I also have a really sexy tattoo on my lower back and on my shoulder. I was just on the cover of 30-Something and the centerfold. If you have some free time call me at the Stratosphere (702) 380-7777 in room #20809. Let's do some really HOT work together!

Caroling Blues

Rado writes: Hi, luke! :) I've read with some amusement in one of your December articles about this guy who bitched about being stood up by a Filipina. The reason being she was out caroling, as the guy told you. Well, just want to inform you and the guy concerned that she could have been really telling you the truth. Filipino tradition of xmas caroling is different from the USA. Caroling here in the Philippines extends even past Xmas Day. Until New Years Day in fact. Hehehe :)

One more very important thing, can you please share with us Racquel Darrian fans more info/news about our goddess?

Lynne L-patin Writes

During my vacation I was able to prioritize you, Luke, and it was fun. Thank you. Now that I have experienced life both with and without you, I immeasurably prefer "with." Without you, the world is black and white, with you it is in color. You are the refracting crystal: everything bounces off you in a rainbow of life!

Please never say that you are "bad" or "not good at" emotional intimacies. You are not bad...you are good to just to acknowledge emotional issues! Say instead that you have a funny way of doing it, or that you have a difficult time of it. Just because it's easy for me to toss a Hallmark in your direction doesn't make me "good" at emotional intimacy -- just more likely to err on the side of effusiveness rather than reticence.

My original questions to Curious, "Is she firing on all cylinders? What does Luke see in her?" after hearing Jimmy D crudely pummel Kendra Jade, were answered in the phone conversation with Kendra you posted a few days back. Jimmy D remains a boor in my estimation, but Kendra made it quite clear just what it is you see in her. (I should be asking what she could possibly see in you, but far be it for me to attempt the clarification of an enigma that has stymied professionals on two continents.)

Kendra is guileless, something you can't say about very many porners. Not naive, but not conniving, manipulative, two-faced and self-serving like most of the porners and/or Jews with whom you associate. Kendra genuinely likes you from her genuine self. She has no ulterior motive, no hidden agenda. What she gives you comes from the real Kendra, and fortunately you are finally mature enough and smart enough to realize that's worth hanging on to regardless of its packaging.

Porn stars don't all have to be rocket scientists, and rocket scientists don't all have to be porn stars, either. Neither profession excludes one from participating in the give and take of caring, compassionate friendship. Even being Jewish doesn't do that!

What Judaism and Christianity do is to exclude a man from having more than one woman: a porn star, a rocket scientist, a homemaker, an heiress, a Jew. You poor guys are supposed to find all of the above plus wife and mother combined in one imperfect female body, and that is not very realistic.

Luke, you are lucky to have a Kendra, and a Lynne, and a Brandy, and you are sure to find a few more for the list: a man can have only one wife in this culture, but if he stays celibate, he can have a vast harem of female friends. You are well loved, Luke, despite your difficulty sharing emotional intimacies. Your expressions may be hesitant but your intentions are sincere and, when it comes to emotions, women have an amazing ability to extrapolate. It takes a great many of us to sustain you through your endless vast, but that's okay, because as Kendra pointed out, you are damaged. It hardly takes a rocket scientist to see that.

P.S.: Being called "obnoxious" by someone who stuffed Bible pages up her ass was a first, but you, Luke F-rd, are often called obnoxious, so at least I'm in my most favorite company!

80s Black Superstae Jeannie Peppers Confirmed For The Bunny Ranch

From www.nvbrothels.com: Jeannie has been making adult films for 17 years and has appeared in approximately 200 movies. She made a name for herself early in her career and was one of the biggest Black porno queens of the late 1980's. Jeannie is known for her oral abilities and her racially themed movies. She currently works as a domination mistress in LA and does not make as many movies as she did in the past. She will start at the Bunnyranch in January. Click here: NV Brothels

Brandy Alexandre Wins $1000

Brandy writes: Hey Lukey! I just won $1,000! :) I always watch the NBC Saturday movie, hosted by the painfully handsome Ryan Seacrest, and they have several trivia questions throughout that you can answer online. I guess they like to make sure you're watching. Anyway, answering a question correctly enters you into a drawing for $50,000, and gives you a code to see if you won the instant prize of $1,000. And I did! :) I couldn't lose, of course. Tonight's movie is "The Devil's Own," and the question was, "The young thief ran from the police because he had stolen..?" (A) A candy bar, (B) A car stereo, (C) Condoms, (D) A wallet. The answer, of course, was condoms. What other kind of answer would someone like me get right. ;)

Luke Gets Mail

Mr Marcus writes: What porn star closely resembles Cindy Margolis?? is there one?

Laura writes: In response to all those pathetic, worthless losers trashing Janine, I can't imagine a company not wanting to sign one of the most beautiful women ever in porn. Why is Digital less worthy of a company to sign with than Vivid, they have Nikki Tyler and Tera Patrick? Halfway attractive? Tyler you are obviously a shmuck. Seeing the kind of men in porn I can hardly blame Janine for only working with women. Can't they find better looking guys? I find myself more attracted to the women in porn than the men and actually prefer the lesbian scenes.

Jeff writes: hey luke, WHATEVER laura........maybe the reason you like lesbian scenes and janine so much is because youre probably a worthless lesbo yourself. and thats MR tyler durden to you, slappy! some see two girls together as an invitation to join in.....while those of us that are smart know to get out before you get ripped off (who's kidding who, bi-chicks are really lesbians that use guys for thier money and nothing more) amen to extreme associates, rocco, and private for giving up real sex scenes with men f---ing women!

Goddess writes: Luke, the next time Mike South calls you tell him to put his damn pecker back in his pants and send you some photos of the industry people at CES for your site! Goddess has spoken...

Vancouver Kendra writes: He wakes up to the sound of the garbage truck beeping in reverse. The ease of leaving his bed by swinging his legs over the edge is not felt by him. He sleeps on the floor. At some point he intended to pick up a mattress from one of those discount places, or enter the realm of 80's yuppydom with the acquisition of a second-hand futon. He never did. He had read somewhere a list of "10 ways you can tell that you are an adult." Number four was having a bed that was more than 12 inches off of the ground. At 34, he has yet to qualify.

Chaim writes Kendra: Over the last 18 months or so the vast majority of the non-porn related prose that appeared on his web site came from the mind that controlls the figurative pen of Chaim Amalek - me. Not all of it appeared under that name, of course, and much of it appeared under names even now unknown to Luke, but all of it was priceless to Luke. Literally.

Had you resolved to see him (which would have brought you into his Richard Ramirez-mobile), this relationship would have been mortally wounded, along with all of the longer term relationships Mr. Ford purports to covet. And this of course, would have harmed his web site and all the little people who are counting on it to enhance the quality of the dull lives they lead.

Besides, Luke already has a Kendra in his life - Miss Kendra Jade. If I might be unusually bold, there is one thing Luke said that I heartily endorse to you as a proper course of action, should we ever find ourselves in the same city: "oh f--- Chaim."

Sound, life-altering advice, if interpreted through the crudity of the world of pornography (a world that is far too base to contain either of our desires).

Kendra replies: I think you are too correct. Luke does have a bit of a serial killer air about him. At any rate, I do in fact believe he is bored with me already. Ahhh, such is the way of the internet romance. Not to mention the fact that I like to be the one and only Kendra. Well, if ever we do find ourselves in the same geographic locale, I will be sure to bring some calamine lotion.

Chaim replies: Necessity, it is said, is the mother of all invention. Reading your latest comment on the height of an adult's bed, I at first felt pride over the fact that my bed is more than 2 feet off the floor, supported by a strong and sturdy steel frame. Yes, the heavy I-beams of the frame do an admirable job of supporting both mattress and Amalek. But then as I leaned over the edge of my bed, I saw that my belly rolled onto the floor below even as my seat sat on the mattress. Clearly I am too heavy to win your body, Kendra, even if I have already bested Luke in the battle for your heart.

This need drove me forward. I had tried numerous strategies to lose weight: diets of every description, and some of them even worked, for a while. But in the end, the siren call of the Carnegie and Second Avenue delis, with their promise of mountains of corned beef and side orders of kishka won out every time. I always came back bigger, if not stronger, than before. And so I found myself, living as a typically parasitic jew on the upper west side, alone, a shut in, encased within my fat. The parasite theme especially weighed heavily on me, as my careful reading of Dr. Pierce's web site convinced me that I, as a jew, was little more than a parasite on the rest of the human race.

And that is where my flash of inspiration came from. If I was indeed a parasite, why not look within, where parasites live, to see if I could not make a parasite within work for me. I hightailed it to the New York Public library reading room, and began to read every book on parasitology I could find. I soon located several forms of parasite that could serve the purpose and obtained samples from the guts of the local homeless here in New York. These parasites are now at work for me, in my gut, eating the food that otherwise would go into my body. In time, I am certain that the weight I have will be shed, and you will not be ashamed to be seen with me.

Goddess writes: I was very disheartened when I read Chaim's post today. The fact that he is trying to change himself to please a woman saddened me. Damn it, man, revel in your morbid obesity! But if you still yearn for Kendra, think *tapeworms*.

Chaim writes Kendra: Kendra, I was about to tell you what I know (and it is considerable) about the Kennedy assassinations and the true secrets of Fatima. Clearly I cannot - yet. You are not ready for it. Nevertheless, I forgive you your carelessness, for it is the nature of AMALEK to forgive others, even if they do not forgive AMALEK.

PS I am contemplating conversion to a suitable christian church. After reading Luke's column, describing in clinical detail the depravity of jewish pornographers, and having the needle of popular culture pulled out of my veins and the blindfold of MTV ripped away from my eyes, I can no longer pray among the people with whom Luke has cast his lot in life. But since I am a very spiritual man, I must have God in my life. Therefore, I am considering the Christian faith, even though this will forever mark me as an enemy in the eyes of the Gedolim. Would this make me more desirable in your eyes? After spending an evening listening to a lady friend describe all the horrible things she has done in recent years, for which, through the agency of Catholic confession, she believes all has been forgiven, I am leaning towards the Roman Catholic Church.

On the other hand, I do not think I have sinned quite enough for me to get much bang from my minimal buck. (Sort of like declaring bankruptcy without first having really been through a proper orgy of debt acquisition.) The other possibilities are the Quakers, or just some mainstream protestant group. Which faith do you suggest for me, and can I expect to be welcome to the fold? Would they truly welcome AMALEK?

PS I have lost six pounds in just the last week! I keep a drip pan beneath my bed to capture all the grease that I am sweating away as I sleep (a plastic sheet keeps the droppings from soaking into my mattress); I use this fat to make candles, which cuts down on electricity bills. The money saved is going into a special "Kendra Account" that I will use to buy you a one-way air ticket so that you can visit me when the time is right. This gives us BOTH something to look forward to.