Sunday, December 17th, 2000

Luke Gets Mail

Alien@SinCityFilms.com writes: Lately I have noticed much writing about "The sky is falling" with the coming of the Bush administration and many of the major's are attempting to campaign some sort of "Self" regulation and "use us as your resellers" propaganda to webmasters as a FUD tactic (Fear Uncertainty Doubt) I do not know what to make of it as of yet, and have yet to find any solid information relating to government intervention.

Luke says: There is no solid knowledge of what a Bush administration will mean for the adult industry.

Fred writes:

1. So Nina Hartley needs the money? Wait a minute--I thought she was married. What the hell does her husband do for a living? She's living with a three-some, and neither she nor her mates have kids. Do they work for a living? What do they do? I assume they don't do drugs. Something is wrong with this picture.

2. The guy who wrote to Brandy is an idiot. The Palestinians do not outnumber the Israelis 10 to 1, or even anything close to 10 to 1. In fact, if you count the Palestinians living in "Palestine", they don't outnumber the Israelis at all. BTW, I understand that middle-aged patent attorneys are the true trophy husbands.

3. To Lori Michaels, I strongly doubt that that the dimpled chad problem was caused by somebody putting two ballots in the ballot machine at once. Do you actually believe that? If that were really the case, don't you think that's what the Republicans would have told the courts in Florida? That's clearly a theory that was recently manufactured theory by some guy trying to become a propagandist for the Republican right. The election was stolen. Although I must say, the Republicans could have done a much cleaner job by sending in G. Gordon Liddy then Baker.

4. Regarding what the republicans do with porn, I agree with Luke. 50:50 chance they do nothing. 50:50 chance they ramp up the prosecutions.

Arch writes: Luke, I've decided to place a $10,000 reward on hairmasters head. Identify his true identity and collect the dough. Payable upon proof.

Susan writes: Luke: I think you should go beyond merely printing porn stars' real names. Why not print information about their whereabouts (city, state), as well as contact information like address and phone number, if possible. If the purpose of printing their names is to hold them accountable for their actions, why not take the next logical step and provide contact information? That way, they'll never be allowed to forget what they've done. Additionally, knowing that their true identities were exposed, maybe younger starlets would be less apt to join the industry. Just a thought. I'm willing to help you if necessary.

Luke says: I think porn stars should be treated like other public figures. A reporter will mention the real names of public figures, even of those who prefer to hide behind psuedonyms. But regular newspapers don't normally report people's home addresses and phone numbers.

Ben writes: Dear Luke Thank you for a consistently interesting site. It was better when there were fewer ads; but I appreciate you need to make a living. My only real complaint is the sheer volume of information. My question is this- do you have any information on Alyssin Chains, porn starlet featured in Kelly The Co-Ed (a Jim Powers movie) and others? Also could you tell me what Max Hardcore is getting up to at the moment?

Jill writes Luke: I CAME HOME THE LIGHTS ARE OUT BUT YOUR SITE IS ON MY SCREEN HE (HUSBAND ) MUST HAVE WROTE YOU .THATS OK I LOVE MY HUSBAND AND I F I USE HIS SCREENNAME I LOVE HIM.LUKE YOUR BEAUTIFUL

Chaim writes Luke: Do you miss participating in all the Christmas joy that characterizes this time of year? I heard some christians singing carols last night and thought to myself, why do we never here jewish men and women singing together in public like that? Instead we hear them whining against the injustice of the occasional Nativity scene.

Rumdar writes Luke's fan club: You guys should join me in Bangkok for spring break. Then Luke could live vicariously through us. Dr. Al Julian unfortunately won't be there. He is grounded after making the foolish mistake of letting Luke interview him.

XXX writes: Dear Luke, Apparently, Richard Desmond, (see "Britain" in subjects section), has recently purcashed The Daily Express, a mass circulation middle-brow tabloid newspaper. As any Briton can tell you the Daily Express is famous for being a narrow minded, bigoted, rightwing newspaper, formerly well-known for taking a sanctimonius, prurient tone on the issue of pornography and any free expression. It was The Daily Express which lead the persecution of Aleister Crowley in the 1920s, for example. The irony has not been lost.

Vivid girl Lori Michaels writes: Luke, I've been really busy lately. Take a look at my page www.lorilive.com/roadracer.html and you can see one of my projects that I've been working on. I haven't been keeping up with all the gossip on the columns lately, so was looking at all the back issues tonight.

I sent the attached email to Tod Hunter and also forwarded it to Gene Ross. I wish these people were more concerned about the state of the country instead of their pride. As I told you before.

Republicans like adult movies, republicans like sex, and republicans know how to f---. They just don't brag about it in public. I live in a small republican town in the midwest, and we have a video warehouse here, and guess what? It has a back room that is their mini adult video department. They put it in because of public demand. Public demand from republicans. I'll be damn, those republicans like sex. How about that? I walked in and saw two of my videos and one dvd on the shelf. I even talked a couple into renting two of them. Yes sir, right here in river city, we got trouble, and it begins with P, and we have Porn, and we love it!

I asked the couple what they thought of the adult room, and they told me that they were excited to see something like this in town. Their kids were with their grandparents for the night and they were renting a couple of movies so that they could have a romantic evening alone. You mean that couples rent porn? Yes sir, right here in river city. Nice looking couple also. Yep, republicans with family values and seemed like good people. And they love porn!

Tod, I was looking at some of your daily posts, and I must say that you are something. You remember the email that I sent you with some of my views You didn't want to print it and get political after I said to go ahead and print it. Remember? Everyone is a crook but Gore, right? I have to give Gene Ross credit for having some balls to print everyones opionions and not just the industries. I really enjoyed the comment about Seymor Butts getting raided because Bush was elected.

Maybe you should get brother Jesse in on it and make a racial issue out of it also, you think? Did you by chance see the program today that took the voting machines that were used in the disputed counties and tried to make dimpled ballots. No one could make a dempled ballot with one ballot in the ballot box. It was just impossible. Everyone tried but it punched thru before it would dimple. Hmmmmmm, so what would cause a ballot to dimple? Guess what, the only way they could get them to demple was to put more than one ballot in the voting box. Wow, would someone put more than one ballot in and do that? Wonder who did it? They tried and tried to get chad to build up in the voting machine so that the punch wouldn't go thru, but no chad built up. Yep, only way to make a dempled ballot was to put more than one ballot in the box.

Actually, three would fit in one voting machine and five would fit in the other. And you say that most of the dempled ballots were for Gore? Hmmmmm, makes a person think, doesn't it. Someone was putting more than one ballot in those darn voting machines and punching for Gore. That damn Bush, I'll bet he was doing it trying to make it look like Gore was doing it. Right? And I hear all this talk about the Supreme Court. The news channels kept talking about the dissenting judge's opionion. It seems as if he was the only one who's opinion mattered. I noticed that his opionion got more air time than all the others put together. Yet, I see nothing in your column about the Florida supreme court who couldn't follow the law and kept handing down decisions based on their political affiliations.

We have a new president. Stop your bull s--- and think about the country for a change. The adult industry will be here in four years and won't be effected by this election. You are creating your own mass hysteria. Things are just fine in these good ol' United States. We just need to get rid of Jesse Jackson and his spread of racism, and the notion that everyone is a cheat and a liar. Whats wrong with a little tax relief? Whats wrong with letting people have a little control over their future and "their" money. It's over. Bush won, so stop with the anti Bush posts, especially since you couldn't post my opinon before the right after the election.

Scott from Redlands writes porn star Brandy Alexandre: Dear Brandy: I stumbled upon your website while searching for San Bernardino+porno+actress. The search engines are reaching new lows in efficiency, as there was absolutely no San Bernardino included in your site, nor any of the other results returned. The web seems to devolve rather the evolve.

As I read your content I was impressed with your honesty and intuition. Intuition does not equal IQ, by the way. There are many people who possess a superior mind infrastructure, but are sorely missing the intuition circuits. As I read on, you kept growing in my estimation. In fact to the point of actually taking the time to whip out the keyboard and write you.

Then came your passage on "doing it" for the first time and you dropped the Israeli Bomb on me. You found it necessary to include the fact that the guy was an Israeli because it earns you points with other women. We all know that having an Israeli lover, boyfriend or husband is the feminine equivalent of the trophy wife. There followed an abrupt downgrade on my part of your intellect/wisdom/soul. Would you have made a point out of this guy being a Lithuanian? I think not. Somehow, women feel they are instantly and perfectly legitimized by association with any man of the Hebrew background.

Brandy, you went from an interesting, full-of-life woman with lots of pizzazz to a stone-cold whore in one simple paragraph. As a male with zero experience in receiving compensation for performing sexually you can say I am delving into something I know nothing about, but sex and money are inherently non-compatible to me. Sure there is a thrill involved in watching someone tear a big check out of the book and hand it to you. I've even tossed a bunch of fresh bills in the air and rejoiced, but sexual thrill, absolutely none.

Now please don't stop reading this letter and automatically brand me some kind of skin-head and toss it into the delete column. After all, I was moved enough by your intellect to bother to expose you to another point of view which, if absorbed, just might broaden your horizons. This is coming from a man who isn't a slobbering masturbatory 20-something young stallion interested in a cheap thrill by seducing a former porn star.

You're no doubt familiar with cinema veritie. I am all about vida [life] veritie, wherein I speak and ponder from a very real and brutally honest center. Sugar-coating is fine for M&M's and it does keep the chocolate mess off of the hands. The truth inside the cell walls is far messier. I have known lots of people in my 48 years on this planet and have yet to meet one person who, off the record, has found Jewish people wise, friendly or warm. To the contrary mention is universally made of their love of money and beating a competitor to the punch in the world of business. Thus, your proud mention of the fact that your first real lover was an Israeli actually diminishes your warmth and character to many of your readers. I really doubt that you are aware of this.

The Israeli treatment of the Palestinians in the Mid-East should provide you a clue or two into the Israeli soul. The Palestinians outnumber the Jewish by a factor of about 10-1, yet they have no input in the governing structure around them. This obviously is not a very democratic setup . Conversely, there is likely a 10-1 factor in the reverse when it comes to money and armament. He who owns the gold makes the rules, yada, yada, yada. This still doesn't make it right. The Middle East will continue to be a hell on earth for it's inhabitants and, by default, the rest of the world until these issues are addressed.

You might also consider stepping off the pedestal just a bit in your advice to the slobbering fools who write to you and other porn stars. Were the situation reversed and hordes of young horny women were seeking my approval, can you see what an absolute idiot I would appear to be by bestowing little lessons on how to best approach me for optimal results? I wouldn't throw a single letter in the trash before reading it or attach a long list of qualifiers to my suitors. I guess I'm either too warm-hearted or human for that.

Brandy replies: I stopped reading as soon as you told me not to. I was already stopping, but thought I should give you the benefit of the doubt in case you were about to do another about face having read about me and who I am in its entirety. But then you set forth your commandment.

Whatever belief you personally have about why someone would mention a particular nationality does not necessarily apply to the world, and it is beyond distasteful to think you believe it does. I have never in my life heard of an Israeli as a trophy of any kind. It must be the narrow-minded circles you run in. My web site is accessible from all over the world, including Israel, so whenever I have the opportunity to point out experiences with other nationalities or cultures I have no qualms about doing so.

Think what you wish, but realize your opinion doesn't mean anything to me. Who are you but another guy who suffers some feelings of inadequacy and bruises from imagined slights and blames the woman for it. I don't need people like you and I'm pleased to think I shall never hear from you again.

BrandyAlx1: Are Israelis trophies?
BrandyAlx1: Or is it that they're Jewish that makes them trophies?
Luzdedos1: latter

Luke's Mom - Hormone Consultant

Gillian Ford is a hormone consultant who has worked with physicians in the United States for 20 years. She has now moved with her husband Dr. D-smond Ford, to Caloundra in Queensland, Australia. Gillian does individual paid consultations with women with all types of hormone disorders and is available by phone and e-mail. She is the author of the book Listening to Your Hormones, published by Prima Publications.

Luke's Dad - Good News Unlimited

Here's a bio of my father:

D-smond Ford, Ph.D., was born in Queensland, Australia, and he has lived and worked in the U.S.A. for the last twenty-three years. He has been a teacher and minister of the gospel for fifty years. In August, 2000, he returned to Australia to further his ministry to evangelical students.

A voluminous reader from childhood, Dr. Ford's interests include religion, history, current affairs, biography, science, and health. Ford was a bright student but left high school early because Australia was at war. At age 14, he started working at Associated Newspapers in Sydney, Australia. It was at this time that he developed a life-long interest in the subject of evolution versus creationism. After his conversion to Christianity, he began to write on religious themes and has subsequently written twenty books and numerous articles.

Dr. Ford worked as a pastor in local churches for a number of years before being asked to finish his degree and take up college teaching. He completed a B.A. Theology at Avondale College in Australia in 1958; a Master's in Systematic Theology at Andrews University in 1959; a Ph.D. in Rhetoric about the Pauline Epistles, at Michigan State University, USA, in 1961; and another Ph.D. in eschatology at Manchester University, England, in 1972.

His main expertise and the focus of his education has been apocalyptic (the study of the literature and symbolism of certain Biblical books (Daniel, Ezekiel, and Revelation) and eschatology (the study of the end or last times, as taught in Scripture). Ford was head of the religion department at Avondale College in Australia for over sixteen years. He was a member of the Biblical Research Committee (the Seventh-day Adventist's chief theological committee) in both Australia and the USA.

In 1977, Ford and his family were invited to come to the United States where he taught in the religion department at Pacific Union College for three years. Subjects he taught over the years included Public Speaking, Homiletics, Evangelism, Life and Teachings of Christ, the Pauline Epistles, Christian Apologetics, Daniel and Revelation, the Major and Minor Prophets of the Old Testament, Introduction to Theology, and Biblical Theology.

In 1979, while still at Pacific Union College, Dr. Ford was asked by the S.D.A. Forum (a network of Seventh-day Adventist professionals) to speak on the subject of Hebrews chapter 9 and its impact on the Adventist doctrine of 1844 and the Investigative Judgment. Though he was promised immunity, this talk led to Dr. Ford's being summoned to the General Conference of SDAs in Washington, D.C. He was given six months to write up his position. This was eventually circulated in a 900-page manuscript called Daniel 8:14, the Investigative Judgment, and the Kingdom of God.

In August, 1980, 111 chief administrators and scholars of the Seventh-day Adventist Church met for a week to consider Dr. Ford's paper and decide his future. This took place at Glacier View Ranch, near Denver, Colorado. The group produced a consensus statement that moved towards Dr. Ford's conclusions in seven out of ten of his major positions. Yet, at the conclusion of the meeting, the official church reverted to their former traditional positions and removed Dr. Ford's ministerial credentials for moving away from traditional Adventist belief on this doctrine.

This event created quite a stir in Adventist circles because D-smond Ford had been a well-known speaker, teacher, scholar, and evangelist for several decades. Articles about his disciplining appeared in Newsweek, Time, and Christianity Today. For seventeen years since, Dr. Ford has worked independently through a nonprofit ministry called Good News Unlimited, in Auburn, California. He has had a daily and weekly radio program for sixteen years, and a TV program on health and preventive medicine, called Worth More Than a Million, for ten years.

An avid enthusiast about exercise, Ford has covered by foot the equivalent of more than five times around the world. He has flown over a million miles and in his preaching travels, he has covered more miles than the Pope. He has spoken in many countries, including England, Ireland, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Germany, Russia, South Africa, the Philippines, Thailand, New Zealand, and Canada, plus extensive travel within the U.S..

Ford's special preaching emphasis is the Pauline doctrine of Justification by Faith, made famous by Martin Luther but still too often missing from modern preaching. It is the good news that 3makes the heart to sing and the feet to dance, that Christ, by his life and death redeemed the world 2,000 years ago, so that now, 3whosoever will may come to God. Ford excels at expository preaching and practical admonition on how to live a sanctified, Christ-filled life. His specialty is Bible-based eschatology.

Goddess writes Luke: wow. i can tell gene and qman have the weekend off. you've resorted to using mommy and daddy to fill up your column

Legality Of Recording Telephone Converstions In CA

Bob Jones writes: There appears to be, at present, a dispute in the California courts about conversations recorded by a journalist. The question is what makes a conversation "confidential": Is it confidential when one party thinks "no-one is listening in" or must they think "what I'm telling you will never be told to someone else"? If it's the first, you're in trouble; if it's the second, you're probably OK.

It seems clear that you did nothing wrong with Quasarman; he knew the conversation was going to be disclosed because _he_ was also recording it. With others, the cases I found seem to say you are safe if a reasonable person would think that the information was going to be used in some way (like on a website).

Just as an aside, CA's statute for this is pretty crappily drafted. The present law appears to make no distinction between a person recording their own conversation and eavesdropping on someone elses. It might be illegal for private individuals to tape their own conversations, but legal for someone to tape a conversation that two other people are having, if they are having it on a crowded street. There are other states with much better laws about this.

As a second aside, there is an interesting question of what would happen if you taped a conversation coming from someone in another state. Which state's law would apply?

Chaim Amalek Attends Communist Christmas Party

Chaim writes: It is a really rainy day here in NYC. There is some sort of jewish festival going on in the Javits Center, but that is the same time as the Communist Party meeting that I have a hankering to attend. If I go to the latter, is it ok if I introduce myself as you or your correspondent? I have a big shpiel to give about defending the rights of sex workers, the proletariate, etc.

"Sex Workers of the World Unite - You have nothing to lose but your Pimps!" --Chaim Amalek to the First Sex Workers Internationale

I, as your correspondent, attended a very special Christmas party today at Winston Hall on West 23rd Street. Yes, in search for something new to do that could justify my god-awful monthly rent payments, I attended the Christmas Party of THE Party - the Communist Party USA, thank you. Images of hot, depraved commie jewesses looking for social conventions to smash danced in my head as I hoofed it on over.

Unfortunately, what I found were these very same jewesses, a good 60 years after their hot-blooded youthful infatuation with Josef Stalin. I mean, these gals were of extreme antiquity: wheelchairs, walkers, oxygen tanks all over. The place had the air of a nursing home. And still they believe!

In a way, I was very touched by their dedication and devotion to an idea that was new, oh, around 130 years ago. The Communist Party USA was loyal to the Soviet Union through thick and thin - purges, show trials, mass executions of Poles, the Gulag, Nikita K's "secret" speech, the cold war - everything. And here were its surviving remnants, still waiting for the class war to begin.

What can we do to get Jesus into their stoney hearts before they all soon die and go to hell? Next, I plan on going to the Christmas party of Peru's Shining Path (Sindero Luminoso) for a Maoist perspective on the holidays.

PS I got this quote from a plack honoring some fellow named Winston, their leader god-knows when. You should use it on your site some time:

"Winston was the steel cable that bound the noble ideas of his party with his class." (By the way, the Russian word for "steel" is "Stalin".)

Short Fat Swarthy Chaim Bewails His Fate

Luke says: I spent from 7am - 5pm in shul today...There was an Orthodox Union convention in town, lots of great Torah lectures... From 2PM on I sat next to a former Los Angeles Raider cheerleader and standup comic who's converting to Orthodox Judaism.

Chaim replies: Goddamn, Luke, why is it that I NEVER met any interesting people in shul? I think the sort of folks who go in LA differ very radically from those to be found in New York. And why are the hottest women in your life all born Christians? What sort of message do you suppose that you are sending to the yingeles of the world?

PS A year or so ago I saw a jewess even I could have fallen for. Australian, tall, blond, bosomy, young. She was a former model by the name of Susan Brisk from Brisbane who had a very funny shtick about growing up in Australia. She had one of those acts where the performer lectures the audience, in this case about the need for jews to mate with each other and find each other desireable. She bemoaned that so many of her jewish female friends found jewish men to be "ugly". Then she closed her act by sharing the wonderful news - she had found herself a suitable jewish man, alright - tall, blonde, a veritable "Aryan Kike", as she put it. Now, what sort of message do you suppose she REALLY conveyed through her act?