Thursday, December 7th, 2000

Ashley Kennedy writes QuasarmanRants.com: Just like dicks, gossip columnists come in all shapes and sizes, and what feels good to one person won’t necessarily work for another. Some people just have a distaste for Luke F-rd’s brand of dickishness, for instance.

But how can Gene say that “What remains is the thick-as-thieves Arizona Mafia…”??? Does he really believe that? I'm really not extremely close to anybody at AVN, but all the same, people tend to group together in work environments, according to their mutual interests, backgrounds and eccentricities. It happens in every office, school, neighborhood and church in the world. It’s human nature; not some vast AVN conspiracy. I happen to like everybody I work with here. Actually, I have yet to meet someone in this industry that I don’t like. That doesn’t mean I can’t make my own decisions, disagree with the decisions of others, rate videos fairly, or vote my conscience when it comes to the awards.

Blustering AVN Porn Mafia

Well, the AVN Porn Mafia is no friend of mine. They must be a friend of ours, Donnie Brasco (Luke winks to his FBI friend in Las Vegas).

Joner1: Oh yeah.....I received some harsh emails from AVNer's after you posted my last IM talk with you.
Luzdedos1: really, what did they say?
Joner1: they can be quite threatening when they wanna be..can't they?
Luzdedos1: yes, please forward me the emails
Joner1: basic stuff telling me to shut up..and not share any info with you or anyone else....
Luzdedos1: LOL, who the hell do they think they are?
Joner1: i was asked not to...its spelled out in teh emails directly NOT to share them with Luke F-rd...."or else" haha
Joner1: have you read matt drudges new book yet?.i really think that you might geta real kick out of it.
Luzdedos1: no
Joner1: its a fun read..very quirky..matts style.but from your perspective.you might enjoy m,any aspects of the book relating to cyber journalism stuff.
Joner1: luke...you have to read matts new book....
Joner1: damn.....maybe i shouldnt even be recommending books to you..i dont wanna geta new flood of AVn emails telling me not to speak with you..haha
Joner1: can i ask you.is this common practice by AVNers.to try to silence people who speak with you?
Joner1: to send out all sorts of threats?..small ones and larger ones..
Joner1: maybe you shouldnt habve used my real email address....they know who i am..and know peopel who know me. Luzdedos1: they can't do anything
Joner1: i dont care.its just funny stuff....
Joner1: well....."if i know whats good for me".....haha....i love that stuff...all talk..
Joner1: what i said wasnt even so bad....except they must know what i know and can share with you.i said stuff to you about passing along additional info expanding upon what we talked about.
Joner1: damn...who knew that nikki fritz was so sensitive....
Joner1: she must have the ability to starta firestorm over there...caling out teh troops and reinforcements.
Joner1: or maybe it was her boss...who knows.
Joner1: calling teh "shots"..who knows..

DiGiorgio On My Mind

Alien from SinCityFilms.com writes: Luke and Di Georgio:) I looked for Di Georgio did my homework studied hard looked under every crevice and have found a total of 12 titles done by Di Georgio:) BOOBWATCH No.01 Through No. 3 DARK SECRETS , LAP DANCE, MALIBU NIGHTS, NAKED LUST, NIGHT SHIFT No.01-No.03 GOTHIC, and WET SCAPE.

Our store just opened by the way: http://www.sinistore.com/store/index.cfm

So go ahead and get em peep's send me your thoughts. Oh and no refunds! Just kidden! If the tape is f---ed We can send ya another. Stilla couple bug's to work on the store, hackers keep trying to go in there without a condom. Just kiddin again:) Its all good!

James if you had a choice, what would you like to see online first within our membership site? No promis's here but which ya think is your best? As to Di Georgio DVD titles?? TBA. I think. Once again. No promis's! Thats not my department. From the guys I spoke to at Sin City, I think the concensus is this... There is still love, and they wish the best for ya:)

3rdly-ist: Shame on you guys thinking the Dali Lama is rough! In business he is and has to be. Infact Matt Taylor is one of the most polite and smartest I have worked for to date, and trust me when I say it. Especially when I have worked for many successful and intelligent people in the online adult industry. The Dali Taylor just has not had a digital wire to amplify his mind and reach in regards to the net. That has changed. The man has got his super box, his cable connection, DSL connection and a dedicated OC12 from UUNET directly connected to his toilet. 3COM Router and all! So with that we're gonna have alot of fun:) Perhaps if your all lucky and put it on your wish list for xxxmas we can get The Matt Lama on the show sometime. By way of DVD's that we were talking about remember this. Beta guys... Guess how expensive it was when Beta didnt take the plate like it was supposed back in the day for adult companies? Wasnt that a f---en industry bait and switch?! What if DVD experiences the same thing LOL! Still possible. There are many brains out there that are still finding better ways to crunch s--- into shiny reflective disk's in different formats.

James DiGiorgio replies: Alien--Read your email to Luke. In fact, I read it a coupla times as it's difficult to follow the disjointed way your brain chemistry seems to function. Your writing style kind of reminds me of a wire-headed, cyber-gen-X, 3rd generation, hacked Max Headroom (v.3.).

That aside, you sound and read quite likeable, so you're ok in my book. First off, let me clarify a few points: the name's DiGiorgio (with three i's), not DiGeorgio. Probably not your fault tho, as Sin City's talented Art Director had a hard time with the spelling of my name on many a box. I think he prefers simpler names, with fewer syllables, like "Raven," or "Karch," or "Ladd." Next, in your listing of my credits, you forgot one title that I believe might have been my best: Shooting Sex. But again, that might not be your fault either as this mock-u-mentary ode to the jiz-biz wasn't too popular with the Sin brass, from the Dahli Porn Lama on down....in spite of it's nomination last year for "Best Sex Comedy."

Now, in regards to my relationship with the Dahli Porn Lama Himself (a handle that I bestowed upon Him), aka Matt Taylor, aka David Sturman, it's always been a positive one. We've had our differences, usually because I was too ready to speak my mind, or perhaps because others were so often ready to claim to speak it for me, but love has always prevailed. You might be surprised to know that I toiled for the Lama, running His post-production department for a few years before He gave me the opportunity to direct. In fact I remember my pitch to Him: "Dude! C'mon! I can't f--- one of these movies up any worse than these other retards you've got working for you!"

After my directing debut, He subsequently unleased His mighty P.R. machine on my behalf, personally promising to "make the name DiGiorgio (and any other spelling of it the Art Director could invent) a household word." In short, I owe my very porn existence to the Dahli Porn Lama, and to Sin City. As a result, the Lama's name is invoked in my daily meditations. As for the DVD "wish list" you've offered me (albeit, with no promises), if I might be candid, I really don't give a f---. Recycling flicks I directed for Sin City onto DVD's doesn't put any bread on my table. I know that sounds harsh, but porn's made me a more practical--perhaps cynical--man, and besides, it's simply true.

Of course, if they would like to hire me to record a Director's Commentary for the DVD's, I might be available. But since I like you, ALien, and you seem like a pretty decent computer geek, I would recommend these titles: Boobwatch #1 (my first ever porn feature which also garnered an AVN nom for "Best Couples B/G Scene), Nightshift #1, Coed Carwash, Naked Lust: the Ed Would Story, and of course, my personal favorite amongst my Sin City titles, in spite of your omission, Shooting Sex.

Ok. I'm done. We should do lunch sometime.

Luke's A Pussy - Not Worthy Of Inside Extreme Information

Esad writes: luke, as expected you proved to be gene ross's bitch. my sources at extreme have imformed me that you have been forwarding him my e-mails. please understand that esad means, extreme spy at your disposal. i have the goods on extreme, avn, ross and fishbein but you are too stupid to play fair! good bye and good luck.

Esad writes: dear luke, pleae understand part of the plan here at extreme is too dump you like a bad wrestling angle once they have "played you out". keep sucking gene's dick but don't get mad when he sends his little luke bitch packing. fishbein should hire you as you would be perfect for his organization. not all people at extreme are happy about gene being here! Believe me one way or another the "Hairpiece Chronicles will be read. time to spit, Gene just came! Sorry you did not have the guts to be a neutral gossip columnist.

Luke says: Gene is my friend. I am not going to disrespect him. But if you can give me something good on Paul Fishbein...

Esad writes: luke, why would i give you imformation if you only want to bury avn. i have so much good stuff only rob black, tom byron, wrestling payoffs, under the table payments to "new employees", etc. do you think the dummies at avn are the only ones who have employees that feel "f---ed over!" do you admit forwarding my emails to gene?

Luke says: Yes I do.

Esad writes: luke, i am on the inside of extreme. you are serving a purpose for their master plan. they think this is all some kind of real life wrestling angle. Extreme is trying to be "AVN on The Edge", to many projects at once, not enough capital, too much sex, drugs, etc....Please your relationship with gene is based on his need to use your popular website to get his own site over with people. Its ok to be used but don't think you have a relationship. you should print everything and remain the thorn on everyones butt in the industry that your so "loved for". i knew within 2 minutes that you forwarded him my e-mail. why not interview gene about his stellar career prior to his avn days? Why not ask fishbein about his prior, nevermind that would really do him in.. and your not worthy of my imformation.

Esad writes: dear luke, thank you for growing some balls! the real deal on gene's partnership offer back in phila. many years ago was quite simply an offer of profit sharing/slash retirement plan, not ownership interest. despite paul's obvious shortcomings he would never be stupid enough to give away shares in avn without a significant capital contribution! gene is just trying justify his position here at extreme and create media attention(i'll give him credit for this!) he must paint paul as a Vince McMahon type character in order to justify the disloyalty and hatchet job he is now performing on the company that saved him from a succession of dead end jobs, and his inability to succeed on his own.

fishbein might be a pompous asshole but he sure as hell is an obnoxious self made success story. no family business or old money here to back him up. gene is a bitter number three man who turned on his employer in order to justify his "extreme" salary. watch your back, rob, tom etc....Gene never wanted an office at avn with a big window because he would never open it due to possible adverse wind conditions! the only thing funnier than watching the overweight editorial staff at avn chase the lunch truck was gene tending to his wig, not realizing how much everyone cracked up over it. gene the sun tans working baby, but the hair just ain't cutting it. well you haven't actually cut it in 40 years, Geno! the only thing funnier than gene's hair was Fishbein's first wife! If Gene wore Fishbein's first wifes clothes he would have been one f---ing ugly tranny with a bad hair piece and a great tan! esad

Mondo Family Films Fundraiser

Colonel Rob writes: How ya' doin' Luke. You know Jews are welcome to our Christmas Eve party, so are blacks, browns, bi's, and gays- we're equal opportunity offenders. Tomorrow I will send more info on the party.

Luke Rocketboy wants me to thank you for putting his letter up, he was so excited about it. He wants to ask you a question about his favorite new cartoon, the Men. I'm turning the computer over to him now.

dir luuk gein graa onn da nuw certuin gotz relly byg buubs diid shei goot ah buuby jobb huh roikitboui

Hope you can help him out on that one. I think he might be in love, but he prefers natural breast.

(wait Rocketboy wants to use spell check)

dir. luck genii gar no da nub certain got rely beg bulbs diid she got ha bubo job huh Rocketboy.

(Hope that clarifies the question for ya')

I see you have a head line about that usurper Tod Hunter. I think the site is so gay it should be called Rod Hunter.

Luke did you hear about the tree swastikas in Germany? It seems that prior to W.W.II, in honor of Hitler's birthday, some trees that leaves turn yellow were planted amongst some evergreens. The forest was in an out of the way area, and no one seemed to have noticed as the pattern is only obvious from an aerial view. Germany has decided to cut down the trees. But Luke, I ask you, wouldn't that leave a swastika pattern of tree trunks.

I hear that Green Peace and the Neo-Nazis have found an issue they can agree on. Luke I would invite you to our Kwanza Feast, but everything has pork in it (we even put pork fat in the sweet potato pie. Don't worry though we will have kosher food at our X-Mas party. Mondo Chrissy sends her love.

Luke Pours Gasoline On The AVN Bonfire

Clemenza writes: "Paul Fishbein always acknowledged that he made an offer to Gene Ross to own a piece of AVN. But Fish always blamed his business partner Stuart Franks as the one who nixed the deal."

Luke says: I have not received AVN's side of any of these stories as yet. I'm sure that AVN and its publisher Paul Fishbein will deal with these matters before the end of the year. On December 19th, Fishbein is scheduled to appear on the Tera Patrick show and he's promised to answer all questions.

Trying to pour gas on the AVN bonfire consuming my site and Gene's, I called some porners for reactions.

I talked Thursday afternoon to Moonlight Entertainment owner Mark Stone, a longtime friend of AVN publisher Paul Fishbein and Gene Ross. Mark says he loves both guys.

Mark: "Oh no, Luke F-rd. What's up?"

Luke: "I'm just trying to bring people together. Riding Gene Ross's coattails."

Mark: "I always tell Gene and you that I never read the s---. Not because I don't like you. But the past few days, I have been looking at Gene's "Twelve Days of Fishbein." And he's linked with you now, right?"

Luke: "Yeah, we're friendly."

Mark laughs loudly. "Maybe the Israelis and the Arabs can live in peace."

Luke: "What's your reaction to GeneRossExtreme.com?"

Mark: "Obviously Gene is extreme. He must be harboring a huge burn against Fishbein and all the poisons that were lurking in the mud are now hatching out. I'm sorry to see that.

"It's hard for me to believe that there's that much interest in all that [airing of corruption charges against AVN]."

Luke: "What are you hearing from your peers?"

Mark: "From company owners and whatnot, I haven't heard that much [reaction]. And what I have heard have been along the lines of my comment. Not that they're reading it and saying, 'That motherf---er Fishbein' and all that. It's more that they are shaking their heads at a sorry situation, is the vibe I would get.

"Gene spilling all that mud... The guys at Extreme better watch out. How could they feel safe about saying anything?

"Listen, Gene is a good friend of mine and I love Gene. I haven't talked to him since he's been writing all the Fishbein stuff. But judging by what I'm reading, he's f---ing burnt and he's letting it all out and I am sorry to see it. It's too bad that it had to get to that point. The people that I've been talking to are more shaking their heads at it. But obviously, there's an audience that loves this kind of stuff.

"And as far as the inner workings and the corruption at AVN, I know that you love to jump on that stuff too. I can also say that people are also fascinated by the Kennedy assasination. Will we ever know the truth? There are a lot of people with different agendas and why someone would say something, really, I would like to stay out of the fray. I just watch."

Luke: "Some people think that Gene has broken the code of omerta (silence)?"

Mark: "Yeah. As I told you at that convention (IA2000 in Las Vegas in January), when people rip at each other, that's fair game. But when you had allegedly published Fishbein's home address [LF: I believe I published addresses of his former, but not current home address] or whatever that was, to me that is over the line. You can destroy the guy without doing that.

"As far as Fishbein and other people that you write about, you cross other lines.

"I have a different attitude to all the gossip stuff than most people. It's mildly amusing and entertaining to me. Most of it is minutaie. Is it important? No. It's entertaining.

"Has Gene's broken codes? Maybe. But he likes to back it up with quotes from other people who were also burned.

"Truthfully, I haven't talked to Fishbein about this at all. I'm sure that he's pissed.

"There's some stuff on there [GeneRossExtreme.com] that I would say goes over the line? Yeah.

"Gene's obviously harboring great resentment and a giant burn. I guess that he feels that it is ok to do that."

Luke: "Are you going to be performing at the AVN Awards show this year?"

Mark: "No. We're producing and directing and putting the whole thing together. Like last year, we've been putting other people in the band slot. I love playing the show. But we did do it for 13 friggin' years."

Luke: "Do you object to not performing?"

Mark: "No. The last few years we'd always been talking about when we'd do something like this. As it grew bigger and bigger, when the show starts we're on stage and everyone else is on their own. And there are times when you can see that Gary and myself walking to the sides of the stage and telling people, 'You've got to do this. You've got to do that.'

"In the end, after doing it last year, I was happier with the end product than with us doing the whole thing. I like playing because I like playing. But can we do a better show if we're working more behind the scenes? Yeah. But it is just a little too big.

"But it was a situation that was gonna happen at some point. It was just when and how."

J.B. tells Gene Ross: "See if you recall this. Early 90's [The 1991 AVN show to be exact]; Saturday of the award show- lunch time at the Sahara. I'd been in the crowd at the trade show with Mark and Gary [from Moonlight Entertainment], and another one of our crew personnel for the award show. We had been going around assigning the last group of presenters and shooting our video. We broke for lunch and ran into you downstairs. We sat down at the little hot dog f---ing stand they had there. We sat at a table and proceeded to have a conversation. You were always a stoic kind of guy. I had only talked to you a couple of times in my life. But you were pissed beyond f---ing belief. You sat down and said, 'f---in' Fish; f---in' Fish.' Like what's up? 'f---in' Angela Summers won [The Best New Starlet], but he's giving it to f---in' Savannah.'"

Mark Stone says that the above recollection is not accurate.

Mark: "I wouldn't take J.B.'s word as an authority on anything. Ask around the business about JB's level of integrity and honesty and forthrightness and you'll get a good picture. JB is persona non grata to most of the business."

Luke: "According to Steve Hirsch [says JB], JB stole $100,000 from Metro."

Mark: "I believe that. JB has done of a lot of horrendous things in this business.

"He worked for me for five years. I'd always thought he was ok. And even after he left in a bad way, and we buried the hatchet later on, and everybody starting blaming me for JB being in the business."

Luke: "What's going on with you these days?"

Mark: "I'm shooting other movies and we're selling catalogue stuff."

Luke: "How many new movies is Moonlight putting out a year?"

Mark: "I'm not shooting for us. We're just doing comps and catalogue right now. I shoot for Wicked and Lucky Smith and AVN and other people. I'm as busy as hell. I'm getting a lot of play on VH1 right now for that Porn To Rock 2.

"So what do you hear about how this is playing with people?"

Luke: "I'm not objective. I love to bash AVN. I'm surprised by how little reaction these revelations have caused and how solidly people line up behind AVN and condemn Gene Ross. In my understanding, Gene's just telling it straight. Stuff he's seen first hand. But people don't care if AVN is corrupt."

Mark: "I love Gene. But obviously you don't do something like this unless you are really burned to the bone. And when you're out to paint somebody as an asshole that a lot of people know very well, Fishbein's a quirky guy. People who know are going to know how he is. It's not going to be a giant surprise to a lot of people. If you're going to quote that Fishbein flipped out, then yeah, what else is new? I don't know if there were a lot of big surprises there for a lot of people.

"It's [reactions] been mild. No 'Wow, did you read what Gene said? s---, this is terrible. They suck.' Definitely they're [AVN] in a position over there that no matter what they do, they're damned. There's no way to do that show without some people thinking that the fix is in for this one. There's no escaping that. No matter how clean..."

Luke: "Whenever serious charges have been raised in the past against AVN, AVN has replied. Now AVN hasn't said jack."

Mark: "If I was advising Fishbein about this, I'd tell him not to respond. Why?"

Luke: "I'm devoting every ounce of energy to pouring fuel on this flame and it's not taking off."

Mark: "It's gotta be that people really don't care in the end. Enough people understand that a lot of it is meaningless. Especially if you look at those prime examples, such as Rob Black winning. If Fishbein was going to be choosing, Rob Black doesn't win. Nic Cramer was on stage at one time and said, 'Oh jeez, I won. I guess it is not fixed.' There have been a bunch of people over the years who've been shocked that they won.

"Steve from Wicked always says - the first year that he won a lot of awards, it was a big surprise. But now, a few years later, he's successful. Now he's always mentioned, 'If you're not Wicked and this and that...' It's all related to some sort of graft and advertising. I've got to tell you that it just isn't. From what I've seen, it is not.

"And if Paul knows that it is honest. And if he keeps those ballots... You've checked those ballots before, right? I have too. And it looked legitimate to me. And in the end, it's just all a big lovefest anyway, isn't it?"

Luke: "In the end, it's interesting for the human drama."

Mark: "To people who know Gene and Paul, it's going to be interesting. But to a lot of the business, their eyes are going to glaze over and they're not going to give a f--- about incidents that happened ten years ago and vague charges of politics. You guys are pouring all the gas you can on it and it's just not taking."

JB tells Gene: "Stevie Hirsch tried to get me fired from Video Team. He told Chris Mann that I stole $100,000 from Metro. I wish there had been $100,000 at any f---ing time to work with. We were doing $120,000 movies with $40,000 in the bank chasing money all the time. People would always talk s--- and that's the hardest thing. There's some really vindictive little f---in' dress-wearing f---s in this business who don't got the balls to stand up to you, but they'll f--- with you and put knives in your back all over town."

Luke says: I cruised by Gene Ross and found this interview which Gene must've done with Mark Stone weeks ago.

Mark: "[A]t the end of last year's show, Fishbein was so freaked out because he knew that anything that was bad about the show was directly as a result of his insistence upon asinine things we told him not to do... Immediately after the show was over with, he runs up on stage and in front of Dyanna [Lauren] and somebody else and then in front of another couple of people he was calling for witnesses to say to me, 'Next year I don't want you guys to have anything to do with the show. I want witnesses to hear me saying this.'

"Now, over the last year, he has slowly been taking everything- a lot of the actual producing of stuff - he's handing that over to that f---ing moron Lisa [Love]. She's a moron. She's unqualified for the f---ing job. Maybe she's qualified to suck his dick...

""Not only do I consider it a betrayal type of thing, this f---ing guy went back on his word and all that stuff. But he's going to kill the f---ing golden goose singlehandedly.

"For some reason Russ Hampshire's always the one that comes to mind that must be saying to him, 'are you going to have those f---ing guys again? Well I'm not going to buy any f---ing tables.'

"Gary more than me, but both of us, I need the f---ing money I make from this show... But I came right in and said, 'hey, you've got us by the f---ing balls, you know we need the money. Why don't you f--- us real hard and cut us out of the whole thing.' I was so f---ing pissed off at him. Fishbein is now going to tell us exactly how he wants the show to do and we're supposed to execute it. I have no idea what this f---ing guy wants to do. It's sick. The f---ing guy's going to ruin this f---ing show. He's been constant- total about faces every couple of days."

Luke called Mark Stone at 4:30 PM Thursday.

Mark: "Does anybody really give a f---?"

Luke: "When did you do that interview with Gene?"

Mark: "That wasn't an interview. That was off the record comments. That was all off the record. I don't deny one word of it. Matter of fact, it was so verbatim that he must've taped it.

"That was when it first went down. It didn't go down right. However, why I don't deny one single word of what I said there, in the end, Fishbein was right. It was the right decision. It was something that went down. I didn't like the way it went down at the time. I flipped my lid like I do every once in a while. It's a forgotten incident to me. The major decision, this was the year to pull us out of the band, this was the right decision.

"Under the circumstances, at the time it happened, I didn't like the way it went down. And it f---ing pissed me off. In the end, do I consider it a big huge thing? No I don't. Will we play the awards show in the future? I say we will."

Luke: "Damn, it's funny reading though."

Mark: "There are lines in there, as I'm reading, and damn, that's exactly what I f---ing said. And it's over a year later. Gene must've been taping it and if he wants to say that I am full of s--- with the Fishbein spinmeisters and all that... I don't have that giant burn. Everything there [on Gene Ross] is word for word what I said."

Luke: "Very funny."

Mark: "Yes it is. But it was over a year ago."

Luke: "Gene must be holding a lot of good stuff."

Mark: "Oh man, if Gene taped me every time I called him off the record. He'll be able to quote some horrendous s--- back and it will be at least as funny as that. But that was a pretty good one. I was f---ing livid at the time.

"Everybody is a human being. Nobody is a perfect Jesus Christ. And you can't have a relationship with somebody for 15 years and not have some incidents like that.

"I like to stand for truth, justice and the American way. But sometimes in the course of business, business forces you to shade the truth. Or even color the truth to a degree that you normally wouldn't want to. But as far as me flipping out personally with Fishbein. Yeah, I was totally pissed. Yeah, I was totally f---ing burned.

"Is that burn anywhere near in existence now? No. Was it the right move to pull the band out of there at that point? I think so. Is there ever going to be a band as good as us playing the awards show? No way. We did too many different things too well.

"It's all true and it all so doesn't matter. George Bush is going to be president no matter what goes on these f---ing websites. As I said earlier today, it's all entertainment. And I can definitely see people reading this and laughing their ass off. Because there's some good colorful language in there.

"Yes, that was an off the record conversation and Gene put it out there. Everybody's gotta make their own judgement about that. Am I super f---ing burned that Gene put that out there? I gotta say no. Do I think he should've done that? No, he shouldn't have done that. Does it offend me and make me f---ing hate his guts? No.

"I think it underscores that he wants to put the screws to Fishbein no matter what.

"Was I surprised that it was a huge f---ing headline? Yeah. And do I wish that he had better pictures of me to post? Yeah. The last couple of pictures up there have been terrible. My main complaint about the thing is please use better pictures."

Is Tod-Hunter.com Boring?

Tod Hunter writes on Tod-Hunter.com aka AVNGossip.com: Okay, I was cruising The Other Porn Websites (of course I read them, and so do you) and I saw this. (Like everybody else in this business, I just look for my own name, and when I see it I stop dead.) There it was in Luke F-rd, from some guy who had imaginatively been called XXX:

"I think Tod Hunter's a great guy but I don't think Paul could've made a worse choice for AVNGossip.com. Tod's a very non-controversial guy. Press releases from Vivid and Digital Playground is boring."

Tod writes: So tell me: Does he have a point? Is this site boring? What is it that you're - yes, you, I'm asking you - looking for on this site? I've been passing along press releases when they're interesting - new releases and deals for consumers and video stores, mostly; you should see the stuff I throw out - and telling about the things I've actually seen. I try to keep away from self-serving ad-type press releases and items that only reflect internal AVN stuff. My reluctance to get into the Ron Miller/AVN/Erotica L.A. differences is an example of this. I have a long press release from a production company talking about their AVN Award nominations which I haven't posted for both reasons: Self-serving ad plus back-scratching for AVN. I get "Whatever happened to so-and-so?" e-mails all the time. I refer them to rec.arts.movies.erotica when I do answer them because I think this is really the function of one-to-one fan newsgroups, not a general-news site. I also get letters about how do I get into the porn biz - which I refer to Dave Cummings because he has a great essay about how to do it and how hard it is to do it and he knows and I don't, I just take notes. So you tell me: What are you looking for on this site, and are you getting it? Tod@avn.com.

Luke says: Earlier in the column, Tod wrote what I can only understand as wicked satire: "The crack AVN Internet Department says that yesterday we had a "hiccup" in the server. Sounds to me like "hiccup" is short for "hideous f----up" but anybody who can engineer a database that works as perfectly and flawlessly as the AVN Reviews Database can be forgiven an occasional mechanical computer glitch."

Luke says: As far as I can tell, the AVN Reviews Database is a mess. And AVN's internet operation has been a technical mess the past two weeks. Did Gene Ross nuke it?

Merry Christmas From Johnny Castano

Veteran photographer Johnny Castano (JJCinLV@aol.com) writes: LUKE WHAT A THOUGHTFUL PERSON MY FRIEND ED POWERS IS TO SEND ME FOR Christmas 3 BOXES OF VIDEOS TO KEEP ME IN GOOD SPIRITS. I AM GETTING WELL LUKE AND WILL BE SHOOTING SOON. I WANT TO THANK ALL MY FRIENDS FOR CALLING ME THESE LAST 10 MONTHS AND HELPING ME OUT WITH MY PROBLEMS. THANKS JOEY S// AND JR STRIPPERS. ALSO YOU LUKE MERRY Christmas. THANKS LARRY. JOHNNY CASTANO

Luke says: Johnny has been very sick this past year and could do with some cheering up.

SexTracker Fires About 20 People Today

SexTracker is owned by Andy Edmond's Flying Crocodile (which owns YNOTmasters.com), headquartered in Seattle.

FCI says: Seattle, WA, December 7, 2000 - A leading ISP for the adult Internet industry, Flying Crocodile, Inc. (FCI) announces today another round of personnel layoffs due to continued restructuring within the company. This marks the second and last phase of company restructuring in as many months. In the aftermath of the FTC investigations on the adult Internet community, previously aggressive company growth strategies have been scaled back to a more realistic expectation for at least the next two fiscal quarters. FCI's major products: SexTracker, SexList, XXX Counter, MoneyTree, SexTracker Hosting, OutSter and SexAdNet have not lost significant staff, and will continue to operate with the same aggressive desire to support the customers ' needs.

Additionally, FCI will cease operation of all free sites and partnerships with free site operators. These properties include SexSpaces and PornHotels, some of the largest free sites on the adult Internet. A company spokesperson maintains that, "The free site business model had little chance of becoming profitable, and has had a long history of objectionable webmaster abuse. There have been several adult free site closings in recent months and this might well become an industry segment of the past. This news should come as a welcome surprise to the many free site detractors in the adult Internet community." However, CTO Ross Perkins has committed to at least three top programmers within FCI to build a new free site operation that will drastically change the free site marketplace into a more ethical, profitable, and manageable experience for all business parties involved. Release date for this new product has not yet been announced.

Flying Crocodile CEO and Founder Andrew Edmond states, "This has been a very tough decision. I think many in our industry are feeling the heat from the outside in some form or another." He adds, "The adult online community has had plenty of challenging times as a whole this year, and I am still very optimistic for our future. This latest decision will not affect our day-to-day operations for all of our valued customers and vendors of FCI."

XXX tells Luke: "SexTracker is deeply in debt and there are questions about its longterm viability."

James DiGiorgio Seeks To Avoid Controversy

Blue Light Pictures director James DiGiorgio writes: In light of recent Gene Ross testimonials (which some think are causing more excitement than the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls), I am humbly volunteering myself, and my leper-free movie, "The Sopornos," to accept AVN awards in all the categories that I, or the movie, have been nominated in. I think this would be a prudent decision by AVN and its awards jury. After all, the nominations I've received were pre-nom'd by Gene in his review of the flick. There would be no controversy over choosing me as "Best Director" since VCA has three additional worthy nominees in the category (Veronica Hart, Michael Ninn, and Antonio Passolini) and if some sort of "fix" were to be in, I'm pretty sure it would be "in" for them over me given their long tenure, and outstanding history, at VCA. Gene pre-nom'd "The Sopornos" for "Best Screenplay" while still at AVN, and also offered it up in the same category for his "Genos."

Again, no apparent funny business, and I can assure everyone that Rebecca Gray did not particpate in writing the script.. The same logic goes for Rob Spallone's nom for "Best Non-Sex Role," also pre-nom'd by Gene and AVN, and also nom'd by Gene for a "Geno." In the category of "Best Sex Comedy," I should have won it last year for "Shooting Sex" anyway, so it not only would be be good and just to give it to me, it's a less important award than "Best Video," and I think everyone would agree that I'm not important enough to risk the exposure of any "fix." Plus, after receiving these awards, I'd be willing to submit myself to a lie detector test, and answer any and all questions regarding how I won the trophies.

Porners Solidly Behind AVN

My understanding of current porner opinion is that most folks remain solidly behind AVN. That the cascade of allegations (most of them made from a first person perspective) is flowing off the backs of the industry. Porners don't seem to care if AVN is corrupt.

My emails and conversations with porners reveal overwhelmingly that porners don't want to get on Paul Fishbein's bad side.

I suspect Gene's AVN reportage will take affect over time and AVN will never be the same.

Heretofore, whenever there have been serious allegations about AVN, publisher Paul Fishbein has replied within a day or two. But so far in this Gene Ross charge, Paul's said nothing.

The Talmud (two thousand year old compendium of Jewish Law and lore) says that silence implies consent. By not saying anything, AVN is implying that Ross's charges are true.

AVN's Rebecca Gray Writes Scripts For Wicked, Vivid

Gene Ross writes: Rebecca Gray Wrote "Kissing Game" for Wicked Pictures and Reviewed Her Own Movie For AVN.

"[T]he stench of Rebecca Gray's vagina is all over this year's AVN Awards. In light of recent revelations that Gray co-wrote the multi-award winning Seven Deadly Sins for Vivid and the fact that Gray continues to write scripts for Wicked, both Wicked and Vivid films should thus be considered ineligible."

Doesn't Anyone Have A Kind Word To Say About AVN VP Darren Roberts?

I've been hearing about AVN Vice President Darren Roberts for two years. During that time, I've never heard a good word said about him (except by Fishbein in our December 1998 exchanges).

Roberts worked at Babenet (affiliated with VCA) for years. With the rise of the internet, AVN publisher Paul Fishbein knew he needed somebody from that world to help him extend AVN into cyberspace. Through his friendships with Jack Gallagher of Babenet and Russ Hampshire of VCA, Fishbein encountered Roberts and hired him.

I've heard that Roberts owns a piece of AVN, as does Juliette Loews, who I think runs AVN's growing internet operation.

In my string of AVN accusations published in December of 1998, I ran numerous nasty comments about Roberts from my anonymous sources.

I've only talked to Roberts once. I shook his hand in early December 1998 and introduced myself. He said he'd heard of me. I was sitting in the AVN main lobby at the time, waiting to interview Paul Fishbein.

Over the following two years, it's worked out that virtually every reference made to me about Roberts has been negative. Initially there was controversy about his wife Allison. Then last April, I got reports about Darren's private life. Feeling squeamish, I held off on publishing them for a while but eventually did. Then I took them off. Then weeks down the line, I referred to them again.

A couple of AVN sources have told me that Roberts despised the editorial department and wanted to slim it down. I've heard that when Roberts first came aboard AVN, he wanted to get rid of Gene Ross (presumably because Gene was the only editorial staffer making good money, $80,000 per annum?).

Over the past two weeks, as GeneRossExtreme.com has heated up, Darren Roberts has been back in a harsh spotlight. I find it hard to believe, but I heard this afternoon that Darren hasn't even been keeping up with the controversies.

Gene Ross Fires Back At His Critics

Gene Ross writes:

"I have to make comment regarding some of the observations being offered by s---house pundits on Luke F-rd's site. These are people in the know? Yeah, right. For starters, let's get one thing crystal clear. Ken Wood is NOT an employee of Extreme Associates. And, at least until I'm informed otherwise, truth is the best defense, and everything I've said so far on this site is One Hundred percent accurate. No exaggerations. Meetings did occur as I have related them. Statements are quoted as they were said.

"Alan Miles, particularly, seems to have a lot to say on the subject of trash-talking. Is Miles forgetting how he wanted me to do a website hatchet job on attorney Clyde DeWitt several months ago and I didn't? And, all of this talk about an Extreme magazine? Yeah. Rob Black's putting one out. It's a hardcore publication ostensibly being distributed by David Sturman. It has nothing to do with AVN.

"Somebody also raised the notion that current employees over at AVN are content. Duuuuh. They should be. What remains is the thick-as-thieves [yeah, tell us about the real origins of The Money Shot, guys] Arizona Mafia over there with the exception of Tod Hunter and Mark Kernes."

Alan Miles writes: Luke: "As I have already told Gene in an email today: I have never even mentioned the name Clyde DeWitt to Gene in a bad way at all, and don't know why he dreamed that up. Clyde is a friend and I've never said anything bad about him -- no reason to. I did mention to Gene a while back [in response to one of Gene's posts at AVN] that Clyde, while working as a prosecutor for Harris County, Texas, co-wrote the Texas law outlawing "obscene devices." That law was passed in 1978. This is fact and has nothing to do with any "trashing" anyone."

Goddess writes Gene: "I generally agree with the things you say, BUT I don't agree with the answer you gave Rachel Worth the other day, and I think she is making a very good point. You can't liken yourself to a reporter going into a third world country and coming back and reporting on what he saw, when you were a PART OF THIS FOR 14 YEARS. Whether you agreed with his choices or not, as long as you did what Fish said, you were participating in it. Now you're trying to separate yourself from it, and it just doesn't fly. Whatever the reason you want to give for not leaving, it was STILL YOUR CHOICE, and with every word you use against Fish, you're revealing a great deal about your own ethics.

Gene sez: "Yeah, and what's your point?"

Porn Pro writes Luke: "As an old newspaper man, Ross should be ashamed of his constant shameless skewing of the facts. His relationship to the truth has become dubious at best. It's obvious that the only brand of journalism he's practicing currently is the never-let-the-facts-get-in-the-way-of-a-good-story brand. With each new emotional posting about AVN (Ross's form of self-administered psychotherapy), his credibility goes further and further into the toilet. He should know better. And the sad thing is, he does."

Gene sez: "So this moron would have to know the real facts to know them I'm skewering them. Since I've been giving, exclusive behind-the-scenes reportage, that mean this moron was there. I don't recall ever seeing him."

Porn Pro writes Luke: "Has it ever occured to you and The Bitter One (Ross) that AVN hasn't responded to all your unsubstantiated, loose-with-the-truth allegations simply because NO ONE GIVES A GOOD GODDAMN about all that inside baseball other than the two of you, who quite obviously, desperately need to get lives?"

Extreme director Thomas Zupko writes Gene: "I also know FOR A FACT that a certain [AVN] reviewer was bribed with cash, whores, and various other unsundry pleasures as an enticement for a positive review and award eligibility."

Zupko writes that he used to believe that AVN Awards were handed out on the basis of merit.

"When Gene initially arrived at Extreme and started exposing AVN for the corrupt organization it is, I took it all with a grain of salt...But then... I realized—much to my regret—that everything he was saying was true, that what I once believed to be a system of merit was essentially a system of rewards based on greasing the slimy palms of Fishbein and filling the coffers of AVN..."

Zupko wonders why the AVN trophies don't include the winner's name, even though the winners are decided two weeks before the awards show. Could it be that sometimes the winners are chosen arbitrarily at the last moment?

Zupko and Gene say that Paul Fishbein has tremendous power in the adult industry, not because he deserves it, but because porners are cowards and don't want to stand up to AVN.

Jay writes Gene about the process companies go through when they're unhappy with an AVN review. For instance, Adam&Eve's Apassionata (starring Asia Carrera) was originally given a 7 rating, then rereviewed in a later issue with a 9 rating. A similar thing happened to A&E's Snow Leopard (also starring Asia). Initially it was reviewed poorly (but this review was not published) but then it was given to someone else who gave it a high rating.

Gene writes about the Apassionata matter: ""My recollection of the incident was there was some major bitching waged on the original rating, and it was changed. I saw Appasionata. I would have given it it's original rating."

Adam&Eve advertise big in AVN.

I believe that Bruce Walker and Lynne L-patin were dropped as AVN reviewers (around 1993?) after they gave an Ed Powers tape a low rating.

Gene brought Rebecca Gray into AVN (in 1997?), and helped bring in Bryn Pryor as managing editor (1997?), later followed by Mikey Ramone (1999?). He now regrets his initial support for all three members of the "Arizona Mafia," the term now given to the clique around former AVN managing editor Bryn Pryor aka Mark Logan.

Gene interviews Susan Block, Paul Fishbein's former office manager. Block says she learned from Cherise, former AVN receptionist, that there were problems with the company's 401K plan.

Block says: "Because Cherise said she tried to get her money out three times. And she's being told that the account's open and like redeposits are being made or something, but the amount of money she feels that should be in there is not. There's enough robbing Peter to pay Paul that goes on. We know the kind of s--- that he [Paul?] always did and everything, but that's not right.

"He's [Paul?] gone through how many people in accounting? I'm beginning to wonder if he doesn't go through them regularly so they don't find out too much what's going on. When they learn a lot where the body's are buried, all of a sudden they're not working there any more. It's very strange. Does he still have that damned weasel [Darren Roberts] running everything over there. God, that is like to me the single worst taint-association of a lifetime. Because ever since that guy's come along, it seems like everything started going downhill really fast."

Gene receives an email about the AVN Expo. "At the CES show this year all exhibitors signed contracts for a booth for a 4 Day show, that same 4 days it has been for years, then, after many months AVN sends out a fax to all exhibitors a few weeks back, who have already paid for a 4 DAY SHOW, saying that it is now only a 3 DAY SHOW, but no one gets any money back --huh?" (Gene Ross)

Gene wants to ask Paul Fishbein under oath: "Have you now or ever been a paid consultant of an adult video company?"

Meaning, does Paul Fishbein have a financial interest in other porn operations outside of AVN? Does he stand to profit from the successes of porners who he "journalistically" covers in his magazines and websites?

RJB Telcom Controversy

l-kefordSucks@aol.com writes: Luke, although you are a blight on this earth, I'm going to favor your miserable self with a little info you may find interesting. I have doubts that you'll print it all as rumor has it you're a paid stooge for a cannibal with the initials Fat Moron. RJB Telcom is far and away the most ethical of the super sponsors. Unlike companies such as Cybererotica, who had huge cash reserves and financial backing coming into this business, RJB started with hardly any cash at their disposal. By a combination of hard work, business smarts and a reputation for honest dealing, they surpassed their competition and have never looked back. This success has driven certain industry people into a semi-frenzy, and they have have been gunning for RJB Telcom behind closed doors for some time. Your idiot wannabe attorney Bob Jones should be able to tell you that an FTC case like the one faced by the Botto's is certainly a rollover. Somebody with an ear in the FTC fed them bulls--- and the FTC swallowed it hook, line and sinker. The speed in which this case was settled shows that the FTC knew they had little to go on. Anybody that has been in this business for awhile knows what happened in similar engagements with the FTC. Facts on the Xpics case and the Taves case can be seen here : http://www.riverfronttimes.com/issues/2000-11-29/feature.html/page1.html

The evidence is clear that if the FTC thought they had something, they would pursue it with all the strength of the U.S. Govt. Instead, they settled as fast as a beaurocratic behemoth can be expected to settle. They saved a little face for wasting taxpayer money and got out. If there's any justice in the world, FTC eyes will soon be turned on those that deserve it. Those having actually defrauded customers through dubious billing and cross-selling schemes. These are the scum that need to be looked at. Maybe the webmaster world is lucky and all that cross-selling crap was documented somehow before it was conveniently disbanded in fear.

Let's face some more facts. RJB Telcom is almost universally loved by the webmaster community. RB and Bob Botto have the highest respect and admiration of their peers, while other large sponsors have reps anywhere from sewer rat to drug-addled thief. Due to the fact that these other sponsors have egos the size of an Xpics razor, it's another kick to the nuts every time they hear all the praise heaped on RJB. Remember, you're dealing with the insanely jealous inner-workings of child-like megalomaniacs here. How dare a couple of hard-working Italians come in and steal the thunder of the rightful heirs to the porn world? Both Ron Levi and JB of CEN would consider me a good friend, not realizing I trust them as far as I can thrown them. I know what I'm talking about. I'm telling you, I've been at meetings where the hate for RJB was palpable. They kissed RB's ass in person, but when his back was turned they stuck the knife in as deep as it could go. Too bad for them, it wasn't deep enough. To paraphrase Kahn in Star Trek : The Wrath of Khan, "Revenge is a dish best served cold. It is very cold in cyber-space."

Scott writes Luke: I decided to write once again today after reading the nonsense you encountered on netpond. I've been slightly concerned since the initial "Everything is cool again!!" announcement from RJB. Initially after the charges they announced "Everyone is still cool!! Keep sending your traffic!!". Shortly thereafter payments were due, and "Oppps! We can't pay you sorry, but we just realized it now, never knew this would happen, etc". So why believe this new announcement? Sure people will be paid, but business is certainly not back to normal. There are larger issues to be resolved beyond webmaster payroll.

Luke, I like your site, its great entertainment, but.. No one should trust RJB, You, or Me. They should trust themselves. They should read the actual stipulated preliminary injunction and judge for themselves what is going on.. A final point that shouldn't be missed here is that you provided the link for the injunction, to my knowledge RJB has not provided such information. Only their censored version of the events.

RB said he "has a long memory", so do we, we've been lied to and most of us haven't forgotten the story line and its lies. That comment of his raises yet another question in my overly curious mind. Is RJB involved with the mob? I would never had asked myself that question before, but the long memory thing sure sounded like a goodfella comment or threat depending on how you want to perceive it. Perhaps RB should worry about what he says as much as he is worried about what you have to say.

Bob Jones writes Luke: I just read on your site that RJB apparently has not been paying its bills, and in the context of what I just wrote, wanted to make a thematic correction. I don't mean to suggest that RJB doesn't have the money to pay its webmasters; the order does permit them to keep doing that, and the order is not intended to put them out of business. It's also doubtfull that the FTC would ask for so much in the escrow account that the company would cease operating, or that the Botto's would agree to it. So my interpretation is that their money is very tight, they don't have enough to keep operating and pay off everyone they defrauded. But they, and the FTC, think that they have enough to pay their suppliers (the webmasters) long enough to make enough money to give refunds to the defrauded and continue to operate under supervision. Of course, if they don't pay, the webmasters have to get permission from the judge who issued the order before they can sue the Bottos for breach.

Meni writes: Luke, dude, why write about RJB? I thought you were sane, but now I know you aren't. Big f---ing deal what they have to do. RJB is one of the best sponsors in the world. They are paying us, we stood by them. And you gotta talk about the settlement. Your site is going to s---. Start f---ing acting, you are handsome and have an accent. Its really sad Luke. And half your f---ing site is Gene's. And go ahead and pick on pornnewsdaily.com, its one of 115 f---ing sites I own. you have only ONE.

Luke replies: Meni, what's not to write about here? RJB Telcom operates the largest adult paysite on the web, receiving the most traffic, with the largest webmaster affiliate program. They've had a sterling reputation for integrity. Now the FTC has swooped down upon them....

Katja Kean, Jessica Drake, Sylvia Saint, Zoe, Shay Sweet, Kamiko, Teens

Feminine Virtures In Short Supply On Luke F-rd Live

Listen to Tuesday's Luke F-rd Live show. The first 45 minutes were spent with Ken Wood, former AVN managing editor. Then we spent 20 minutes with Kendra Jade, 20 minutes with Alien from SinCityFilms.com and 15 minutes each with Lynne L-patin and Quasarman.

Jimmy and I interviewed Alien from SinCityFilms.com. Alien plugged Sin City's new DVDs.

Jim: "Your boss told me as recently as a year ago that he thought DVDs were a passing fad. And they were going the way of CDRoms."

Luke: "I wonder if David thought the internet was also a passing fad, he took so long to get together an internet presence."

Jim: "You've got a whole library full of movies you've already made, now you can put them all out again. It's another way to suck a few more bucks out of the stuff you've got in your library.

"Hey Luke, Alien doesn't know he's not supposed to mention David's [Sturman] name. That he's supposed to say Matt. Oh, you're in big trouble.

"Make two lists. One list - people who work at Sin City and don't know who Jim DiGiorgio is [Jim shot 30 movies for Sin City]. Then make another list - people at Sin City who don't know who Matt Taylor is."

Luke: "Jimmy, who is Matt Taylor?"

Jim laughing. "I think I'm burying this kid's job."

Alien: "Huh?"

Jim: "Matt Taylor is the Dalai Porn Llama."

Alien: "I haven't heard of him either. I'm not from LA."

Jim: "Neither is he. Not the Dalai Porn Llama, nor Matt Taylor."

Alien: "We're now pouring all this content through the garden hose [of the internet] that goes to the world.

"I've been enlightened about the ground part of the whole industry. The video and the print publication, and the toy lines. I've gained a different perspective from visiting Sin City."

Jim: "David loves all that stuff. And he owns shares in all that stuff. He's got companies that do toys, that do paper stuff. Movies. He's got it from every angle."

Jim: "Alien, let me ask you a serious question. If you discovered anything unethical at Sin City, would you quit your job and start a website called AlienExtreme.com."

Alien: "My policy is that when I leave a company, I keep my mouth shut. I've had blind allegiance, most of the time, through my career [to employers]. I was at Xpics Publishing during its heydey. It was a beautiful time for Xpics. A lot of strange things started to occur."

Jim: "Luke, this whole show has crushed me. I feel suicidal. First I got the ex[managing editor] at AVN [Ken Wood] telling me that he doesn't know who I am. Now I've got a guy running the website for Sin City, where I made 30 movies, and he doesn't know who I am. And in his parting words, he mispronounces my name. I am crushed."

Luke: "Not as crushed as somebody's going to be after David Sturman hears this show."

Jim: "Who am I? I don't even know who I am."

Luke: "We have Lynne L-patin on the line."

Jim: "Lynne, do you know who I am?"

Lynne: "You're a friend of Rob Spallone's."

Jim: "I can't be known just for me. I've got to be known as somebody's friend. You used to do scenes, Lynne?"

Lynne: "Of course. Didn't you?"

Jim: "No. Are you kidding me? I turn the lights off when I jerk off. I cannot even look at my own dick, let alone think about having the world look at it."

Lynne: "What's wrong with your dick?"

Jim: "It works but I don't want to look at it. I've got real sexual identity problems.

"Lynne writes some wacky stuff on your site sometimes. I have a hard time following it."

Lynne: "I wrote another one on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome."

Jim: "I know a little bit about CFS. Somebody who used to work for me had it. This person came in with this thing from the FDA, a whole article about CFS. It basically said that while a lot of people have it, nobody ever gets it for more than five years."

Lynne: "Except Luke."

Jim: "Then I pointed out to this person that they've said that they had it for ten years."

Luke: "I've had it for twelve years."

Jim: "The government says you should only have it for five years."

Lynne: "Is Luke in any danger? Only from himself."

Jim: "We've known that for a long time. Lynne, wasn't Toby Dammit your roommate?"

Lynne: "I don't think Toby had CFS though. Luke, you're not going to die."

Luke: "I feel that I am battling this physical thing."

Jim: "Luke, did you invite her on the show to feed your sense of hypochondria?

"His favorite subject is Luke. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Luke F-rd Show. Today we'll be discussing Luke F-rd and we'll be inviting only guests who only want to discuss Luke F-rd."

Lynne: "I think it's wonderful. There are not too many people who want to do it with me."

Jim: "Luke wants to do it with you?"

Lynne: "Discuss Luke F-rd."

Jim: "Lynne's kinda cute."

Lynne: "Luke is so cute."

Jim: "Have you had sex with Luke?"

Lynne: "No."

Jim: "Would you?"

Lynne: "Under what circumstance?"

Jim: "If he paid you? If you guys went out to coffee then that turned into a couple of drinks and a walk on the beach and suddenly you found yourself back at your place or his hovel, might you have sex with him?"

Luke: "I will not have sex outside of marriage."

Jim: "You are such a liar."

Luke: "Lynne, do you think that I am really homosexual?"

Lynne: "No, but I've thought about it."

Jim: "Why did you think about it?"

Lynne: "Well, whatever would make Luke happy."

Jim: "Oh, you thought it would make Luke happy for you to consider that he might be gay?"

Lynne: "If he wants to be gay, and that makes him happy..."

Jim: "You'd still be his friend."

Luke: "Would you Jimmy?"

Jim: "Luke, there have been times when I have been your only f---ing friend.

"My brother's gay and I don't have a problem with my brother. I still hug him and kiss him and s---."

Luke: "Would you still hug and kiss me if I were gay?"

Jim: "I don't hug and kiss you now."

Lynne: "I would hug and kiss you, Luke, if you were gay."

Jim: "That's because you want to have sex with him.

"Lynne, two naked men stand in front of you with erect penises. One is Luke F-rd and the other is Dave Hardman. In front of which man would you drop to your knees?"

Lynne: "I don't want to go there."

Next we called Quasarman with a few minutes left in the show.

Q: "You call me with ten minutes left in the show... For the first two hours, I'd rather call a bank and listen to muzak. But you call me with ten minutes left so that you could have somebody who can say something amusing. Why is that?"

Jim: "You're filler, man."

Q: "I resent not being treating with the respect I deserve."

Luke: "What do you think about Gene recommending you for a job at AVN? But he provided you with a back end?"

Q: "No, an exit strategy... It didn't sound pleasurable. I can't imagine what he means by that. I didn't take the job [at AVN]. I'm still gainfully employed."

Jim: "Do you think the majority of the industry gives a damn about what is happening [AVN bashing] on Gene Ross and Luke F-rd's sites?"

Q: "Yeah, I think they do."

Jim: "Do you hear people talking about it?"

Q: "Yeah, and let me tell you why. People have nothing but s--- to say about AVN when they feel they've been treated bad by AVN."

Jim: "Everybody feels they've been treated unfairly by AVN."

Q: Oh, they're on the take, who cares. But when they do get good reviews and awards, then AVN is the best friend they've ever had. It's like watching Tyson beat up Peter McNeely when Tyson first got out of prison. It's almost pathetic. Tyson beat the helluva out of him, but you couldn't stop watching... It's Gene's axe to grind, not mine. But I think it's entertaining."

Luke: "Do you think it damages the credibility of AVN?"

Q: "I don't think their credibility matters. I don't think it ever has. It certainly has not mattered to me.

"Credibility is a funny word to use in this industry anyway, no matter who it is applied to."

Jim: "Don't you think they've making much ado about nothing, with the 401K stuff. They make it sound like the Teamsters making a loan to a Las Vegas casino."

Q: "Yes, that stuff gets convoluted. Of course they're making a big deal out of nothing. But that's why the internets such a wonderful and horrific thing... On a daily basis Luke F-rd's been making a big deal out of nothing for years and everybody reads his site."

Jim: "Do you think that I whittled away at the credibility of Extreme Associates when I unmasked Ken Wood as an employee of Extreme? Luke should've done that but that's why I'm here. They're going to send the wrestlers over to my office."

Q: "But Luke, I am curious. Does it not dishearten to you to see Gene taking a similar tack that you've always taken, but be more successful with it because he has all the inside information?"

Luke: "No, it makes me feel good. It gives what I've said all along credibility. Yeah, I wish that I could've gotten the scoop first. But overall I am thrilled to be back bashing AVN. Even if I am only cutting and pasting from Gene's site."

Q: "But the revelations aren't coming from you anymore. They're coming from somebody else."

Jim: "But the revelations are only revelations about one thing - AVN.

"Luke will even be happier if Gene Ross goes after the Mafia in the porn business. According to Luke, you work for a mobster [Kenneth Guarino who owns Metro Home Video]."

Q: "According to Luke, I do."

Luke: "Have I made that accusation?"

Jim: "Yes you have."

Luke: "Have I ever implied or impugned the integrity of Kenneth Guarino's Metro Home Video?"

Jim: "You have."

Luke: "It must've been taken out of context. Sometimes I am too critical and too harsh."

Jim: "I bet Gene Ross never makes any statements like that about Metro Home Video. Because Extreme sells a lot of videos to Metro Home Video."

Q: "It's an incestuous business that's why a lot of people don't say things about anybody.

"I've been at the company for three years and I've yet to see anybody get whacked."

Luke: "I've probably been hasty about Metro. A little harsh."

Jim: "Maybe you did that when you were having your Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? At a low point. Because Luke is a very sick man."

Q: "I've never seen any dirt about myself on l-keford.com."

Jim: "Just like Mike South is one of his little reporters. And how the f--- Mike South can get people to believe that he can get the skinny on anything when he lives in Atlanta, Georgia. A big center of the porn industry. When was the last time you shot in Atlanta?"

Q: "Oh, just the other day. The Trump Tower Gangbang."

Luke: "I've run a lot of critical stuff about Mike South."

Jim: "No you have't."

Luke: "Oh, I only accused him of committing a felony by shooting some underage girl, accused him without checking with him first about the allegation before I printed it."

Jim: "So you did it as business as usual."

Q: "Luke, did you ever try to dig up any dirt about me and not find any?"

Luke: "I've never even tried. I like Q."

Q: "There isn't any dirt... But I appreciate the lack of effort."

Luke: "I envy your writing abilities. You put out a website with more densely packed humor per sentence."

Jim: "Luke, how many of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of, beside envy?"

Luke: "All of them. Jealousy, lust, pride, sloth."

Lynne writes her Biology professor: Dear Dr. Button:

You were sweet to let all of us go at 4:20 so I could get home to receive Luke's phone call. You know we students all adore your busyness and take inspiration from your dedication and enthusiasm. Unfortunately my dear friend Luke's show degenerated into a discussion of the cruder parts of anatomy rather than the fine parts of same, including those disproven as etiology for CFS. His co-host (about whom I didn't know) is vulgar. Dear Luke is quite enigmatic: extremely intelligent and highly gullible, both at the same time. Drives me nuts. I never know what he's going to get himself into next, but he values my intelligence, which is rare in men, so I tolerate him gladly.

Luke's Klixxx Column Cancelled

My initial December column for Klixxx, which I submitted Tuesday, will not appear, so I publish it here:

As I sat down to write this monthly column, I glanced at today's New York Times (December 4th) and read a front page article on Peter Bart's Variety, the premier industry publication for mainstream entertainment.

Variety's encountering a ton of competition of late as the internet has dropped start up and publishing costs to almost nil. Entertainment's a glamorous field to write about and many people want in.

It's a similar story in adult entertainment. For years, the industry had one primary source of information - Adult Video News. Started in Philadelphia in 1982 by Paul Fishbein, AVN became porn's one trade publication.

A trade publication aims primarily at members of an industry, rather than the general public, and thus tends to be captured by its advertisers. Trade publications are universally industry friendly and take on the perspectives of the people they cover. You shouldn't expect any hard hitting investigative reporting from any trade publication, be it AVN, Variety or The Hollywood Reporter.

Porn was not covered seriously in an ongoing manner until I started my website l-keford.com in July of 1997 and began breaking stories about corruption and malfeasance throughout the industry. Because of the two month publishing lag time that comes with putting out a monthly magazine, and its coddling of advertisers, AVN was consistently getting left in the dust. Its site AVN.com was a minor league affair, and today it remains the province of press release rewrites.

AVN grabbed the attention of the porn internet in February 1999 when it took over operation of the trade show IA2000 and filled out the pages of its new monthly magazine AVNOnline. In early 1999 AVN held its first Internet Awards show, giving out statutes for such things as Best Marketing and Best Paysite.

Scott Collins wrote a long article about AVN (under the headline "Magazine Wants to Be the CNN of Online Adult News") in the July 8, 1999 edition of the Los Angeles Times:

"Paul Fishbein used to think his biggest problems were government censors and anti-porn activists. Then he logged on to the Internet.

"AVN…has run smack into Luke F-rd, an eccentric and self-aggrandizing cyber gossip from Beverly Hills.

"On his Web Site, which is devoted to porn news, Ford has repeatedly attacked the magazine for ignoring conflicts of interest, coddling advertisers and downplaying major stories, such as an outbreak of HIV among performers last year…"

In the last few weeks, my charges against AVN have been confirmed in droves by two ex-AVN journalists - former managing editor Ken Wood and former VP of Editorial Operations, Gene Ross, who now writes the site GeneRossExtreme.com.

Paul Fishbein and AVN have issued no comment on the charges. When I cruised over to their websites for a reaction, I had a hard time finding one to come up. Neither InsideAdult.com, AVNGossip.com nor Tod-Hunter.com worked. Finally, I found the AVN gossip site at, ironically, GeneRoss.com.

Why all the ineptitude with AVN's online operation? An AVN insider writes me: "Spend two minutes on the so-called "reviews database" and YOU can tell ME why they keep screwing with the links. The Internet department at AVN couldn't find their own asses with both hands and a copy of Gray's Anatomy."

With AVN headed for a big fall, it's interesting to ponder who will become the primary source for industry information.