Friday, November 17th, 2000

Sex Survivor

Shanefan writes: Hey Luke- I'm a member at Sexsurvivor2000.com....the s--- hit the fan yesterday and today...here's the scoop...

First off, let me say I signed up to see Zoe, Kendra Jade and Sky. Mostly Sky. I also wanted to see Alana Evans and Charlene Aspen. Zoe, Kendra AND Sky were all no shows! That ticked me off...but Alana and Charlene were still there so I was feeling a tad better.

The site kicked off and looked decent. There were nice photo spreads of all the male and female contestants. The show goes like this (I think) Each day there's 3-4 "competitions." One of the ones I saw was they blindfolded a guy, had him taste a girl and guess who she was. It was fun stuff.

Then it got weird... At the bottom of the main screen, you click on this little light and a voting screen comes up. Subscribers click on a little tab of who they want OFF the site. After day one, Teri Weigel and some jackass named Axl Hose lead ALL vote getters. But Zarina and some other people (I don't remember who) got booted. Zarina and one of the guys had a good chunk of votes, but Teri was clearly in the lead for a hasty exit. I asked what was up with that in the chat room and got no response. The next day, I was pissed to see Alana Evans shown the door. She had FOUR votes for her leaving-FOUR. By now, Teri Weigel had THIRTY SEVEN! Some other people (not Teri or Axl who had 40 votes by now) were booted as well.

Then yesterday, Thursday, the s--- came down Teri Weigel was FINALLY booted-but not by votes! Apparently Teri did some extra-curricular f---ing with the CREW! This pissed off the other girls in the house so out went Teri. Now TODAY, as I logged onto the site, all the cameras in the house are down. There's like, 25-30 cameras!

The only thing working is the chat room...and guess who is in the chat room? Teri Weigel-and she's PISSED. She starts telling everyone in the chat that the show is fixed (rigged) and that we should all ask for our money back. She said basically, they were filming a movie and that we didn't really matter. It was rigged and they already knew who was going to win. Teri then said that she was going to sue the company that sponsored the site and hold up any money from being given to anyone until she got hers. She THEN proceeded to give out free passwords to HER pay site and we were invited to chat with her about this...while she was nude, of course. THEN Teri gave out her phone number and we were invited to CALL her!

The whole thing was weird-she was (is?) clearly pissed. She also thinks she's "winning" by looking at the votes....which still show her as overwhelmingly removed per fan request. This was all taking place between 11-1 today (Friday). Now I'm back in the sex survivor chat and her husband Murrill is saying "Nothing. So we're just going to let it go. Lets say it was a medical problem and move on and be happy." Another chatter responded by saying "You must have talked to your lawyers and they told you to quiet down-your tune has changed since earlier." Murrill said "Lets make a deal that works for us so were happy about it. how about you guys? lol."

Well...no. We aren't real happy. I mean, I personally don't care if it's rigged-but why boot an obvious fan fave (Alana)? Also, something that struck me as odd is-why were the sex survivor techs not rebuffing Teri's claims? Why were they letting her attack them in their own chat room?

One thing is for certain-Teri is gaining new fans and more power to her for capitalizing on a screwy situation. But once again, another porn site screws the fans and not only that, but this is the first "Porn Survivor" site to launch and it's setting a bad standard.

Luke's Anal Princess

HELLO LUKE! I'M MCKAYLA MATTHEWS' SEYMORE BUTTS' CONTRACT GIRL. JUST WANTED TO SAY HELLO AND MAKE MYSELF KNOWN TO YOU. I LOVE YOUR WEBSITE. SO INFORMATIVE! I WOULD LOVE TO CHAT. I KNOW YOU WOULD APPRECIATE MY CLEAN, CUTE LOOKS ALONG WITH MY ANAL ABILITIES! HOPE TO HERE FROM YOU SOON. LOVE YOUR ANAL PRINCESS- MCKAYLA MATTHEWS

Luke writes Chaim: How should I respond to this?

Chaim replies: You should respond by asking her to turn off her "caps lock" key. It is the jewish thing to do.

PS If she lives in New York, respond by reminding her that the only way to get to you is through me, assuming that she is wholesome. Otherwise, she is on her own.

Luke interviewed McKayla by phone early Friday afternoon.

Kendra Jade Ass Clown

Concerned writes: I just read a shocking review of unofficial l-keford.com contract girl, Kendra Jade's, new film. In "Ass Clowns" Miss Jade's scene involves a priest reading to her Bible passages while she f---s three guys slathered in earthworms.

That part is OK. Here's the weird part. At the climax of her scene she tears pages out of the Bible and stuffs them up her ass! Be honest, Luke. What is your honest opinion of this type of adult entertainment? Does this change your opinion of Ms. Jade? Would it be more offensive to you if the Bible pages in Ms. Jade's rectum were from the Old Testament rather than the New Testament?

Chaim Amalek writes: If this foolish, pitiful woman had used pages of the Holy Q'uran instead of the King James bible, she likely would now be under a fatwah from countless mullahs. She and all who had anything to do with this are BEGGING whoever is our next president to go after them with all the planet's God-fearing people in tow. Only the secular "jews" of the ACLU, the democratic party, and Hollywood will defend her. This will create a violent schism between secular jews and their host that will extend to all jews, notwithstanding the fact that all torah-true jews would be horrified by this, if it is true. The end result? Everyone will blame and hate the jews.

In short, this movie is the most clever and mischievous piece of propaganda in service of an anti-semitic agenda since "Triumph of the Will."

PS Never mind what I think, what does putative Catholic girl Lee Noga think? Why are Roman Catholics such wimps in defending their faith?

Arch Stanton writes on RAME: Well I finally got to see a video from the great Zupko. I intended to see Days of Whore based on a positive rog review but this offering came in first. It stars Taylor St. Claire, Kendra Jade, Sharon Kane, and a few other nonmentionables. I dont get the big attraction with St. Claire. Bloated boobs and belly a turn off. Fairly attractive face. Kendra Jade same thing. Bad boob job and rather plain looking. Nice ass though. Anyway, goofy costumes, lame props, fuzzy plot, and gratuitous violence are all here. Slapping, spitting and choking included for fans of these everpresent elements. I found this video not even remotely erotic. Nor entertaining. I get the feeling that Zupko gets the girls to do the most outrageous things and we the viewer are to be shocked and amazed. I dont want to be shocked and amazed. I want to be aroused. TURNED ON by pretty young women doing what we like best. You read these hype-filled announcements on rame, acme and Lukes site and except the second coming. Instead, we get a lot of hot air. Based on this video this guy is a talentless hack. We are supposed to be amazed to see ST. Claire getting slapped and choked covered in black goop. ??????? (that's right Sharon Kane another comeback kid groan) orders pizza and gets raped at knifepoint by some dude and Sharon Kane armed with her dildo. And for the grand finale a priest whose face is partially covered with live earthworms reads from the bible as Kendra Jade gets banged by 3 guys. Kendra allows some worms to run down her body but doesn't look very happy about it. Is your dick getting hard yet guys? Jade rips up the bible and sticks pieces of the pages up her ass. Is it getting hard now? Zupkos twisted vision has no place in porn. Assclowns is a prime example of giving a director complete artistic license and enough rope to hang himself. Needless to say I'll pass on Whore. Im no authority on porn but I'd be very surprised to read one good review of this video. Big mistake Rob Black.

Cindi from Xcitement mag writes: Luke- I totally disagree with "concerned" I haven't seen ass-clowns yet, but I watched "Days of Whore" last night to write this review. I was impressed, and what's wrong with shock value?

You have soft core, hard core and than Extreme hard-core, a category all it's own. If you want the roughest, most graphic, violent sex-filled pornos ever made, Extreme is the way to go. Extreme is known for it's cutting edge movies and kick-ass marketing ploys. From their beautiful new one of a kind foil enhanced video boxes, their assault on AVN magazine and their theft of it's top reporter, Gene Ross, to their release of the most controversial porno movie ever made Extreme lives up to their name. And that porno/epic XXX film would be "Days of Whore." This vid has everything you could want in an adult movie and some things you don't, (like rape and necrophilia), plus real acting, excellently shot footage, seamless editing and beautiful girls. If you just want to watch it for the six long poker hot sex scenes, that's okay too.

The movie features Kings, Queens, lepers, pillaging Vikings all doing it, and doing it well. When one rotting leper's penis falls off while he is pumping Bridget Kerkove, she continues the job with the detached bloody body part. If you crave the unique and bizarre, you'll find it here, in Director Thomas Zupko's vision.

Kristi Myst, the movie's star describes her director as a combination of God and the Anti-Christ. At one time during the making of the film she almost quit. Kristi said "Trust me, at times Thomas can be brutal and I really wanted to walk off his set because of how far he kept pushing me. I even broke down a couple of times. This movie was the roughest and most intense I've ever performed in. It's like every outrageous thing I've done in my career rolled into one. But in the end, I can now see that he is one of, if not the, best directors in the business." The outrageous things Kristi is talking about include her three DP's one in a vat of blood, holding her head under the blood, 4 anal positions, being slapped around, taking nine loads to the face and then getting urinated on by six monks, and that's just in ONE SCENE! This 13th Century medieval tale may not be everyone's cup of wine, but a must see just for it's "pushing the limits" philosophy.

Luke Gets Mail

Chow Yun Kravitz writes: While your at it Mr. Ford why don't you explain why there are no Asian Rabbis either? I smell a conspiracy.

Tall Chulo writes: can you answer a few questions of mine?being the porn connessuier that i am i find it frustrating that i dont know the answers to these question.can you help.wtf is rame?who the f--- is chaim amelek?wtf is jaded?wtf is flying crocodile?and last wtf is mondo family videos?

Luke replies: RAME is the newsgroup rec.arts.movies.erotica. Chaim Amalek, read his profile. Chaim's a famous porn star from the 1970s. Jaded is a video production company. Mondofamilyfilms.com. Flying Crocodile owns SexTracker and YNOT. It's a major force of the adult web.

Curious enlightens: wtf is rame? (A discussion group of men who vigorously debate the merits of gaping anals, gooey facials, puffy nipples, and world economic policies. It is most note worthy for the scholarly input of learned perv, Patrick Riley.)

who the f--- is chaim amelek? (There is no physical evidence that such a person exists. At the most he is a series of random 1's and 0's streaming through the information highway.)

wtf is jaded? (The porn slang term used to describe a sex partner of Kendra Jade. "Did you f--- Kendra?" "Yo, man I'm jaded.")

wtf is flying crocodile? (Most likely the next civil suit plaintiff to sue l-keford.com)

and last wtf is mondo family videos? (Like Mila's asshole Mondo Family Films is impossible to describe. It must be seen.)

BTW be advised that the abbreviation "DP" more often than not refers to Jewish radio talk show personality, "Dennis Prager," and not "double penetration." That was as confusing as hell to me in the beginning.

Chaim Amalek writes: "Chaim Amalek" is to Luke F-rd what "Slats Grobnick" was to the late Mike Royko. It is a voice of that I, Luke, use to say what "Luke F-rd" dares not.

Dunndunn writes: Hey Luke, Alicia Rio is performing at the Market Street Cinema here in San Fran. Any chance I can bang her if I go see her perform?

Frank writes: Luke, you mention former Vivid PR doof Brian Gross...did he leave or was he fired? Could it be his handling of the fallout of the Cheyenne Silver breast implant controversy led to him being ousted?

Should I Work In A Brothel?

From nvbrothels.com message board: "Paley" writes: Oct-10, 09:03 PM (CST) Hi, I am a married, soon to be separated/divorced woman 32 yrs. considered beautiful, 5'9" brunette/ black hair. shapley/in shape, 34 D. Good taste, well dressed, level headed, no drugs or addictions. Should I go to work in the leagal brothels in Nevada?? I have been giving it much thought for the last couple if months. I have read many articles on the internet about this "line of work" and I see a world of difference between it and the "hookers" on the street here in the Northwest. I like the fact that it is leagle. I wouldn't even consider it otherwise. I have been a "swinger" for the past two years, and I don't see much difference in the act of sex for $$ and the act of sex for getting your mate laid. By this I mean, I am much younger and considered better looking than my husband. When we go to swing clubs, I end up having sex with people I wouldn't normally do it with, just to get the girl for my husband. I have read most of the posts in these threads. I see a lot of negativity and a lot of love(acceptance). My question is.... is this the right move? I come from the apparel industry. I have been an apparel designer for 4 years or so. Very respected. Now let me tell you of a strange, screwed up, low paid (for the long hours) industry!! I am seriously considering a 2 week a month job in Carson City for my next career move! Plus, I love men! I love sex! Why shouldn't I make a living at it?! ...............Pondering, Pondering..............Let me know your thoughts....

"Flyfisher " writes: Oct-11, 09:23 PM (CST) IF you are from the Northwest then you come from the stripper/hooker supply capitol of America. AN Inordinate number of excellent working ladies come from your geographical area to work in the Nevada houses. Your thumbnail sketch of your physical description, attitude and sexual background is the classic blueprint to be successful. I WANT YOU! Flyfisher

"Story" writes: Oct-13, 02:30 PM (CST) No, why would you want to live a life like our's, it's not all what its made up to be, you sound like an inteligent women, and you have a job trade, you would make more money in the apparel industy than you would a prostitute. Ya some girls get lucky but the money goes so quick, I would recomend that you stay in the line of work your in, try to make it work with your husband, and live a happy life. Trust me you will want him back within 1 year of this industy. Lots of luck, and if you want to become a prosititue, be independent, there no need to work in a house, work escort form your own town, you'll be able to have your cake and eat it too.

Truely Sam "Jay" writes: Nov-16, 01:09 PM (CST) well, its easy for a third person to say to you yes or no. i would have to be in your shoes. however i am a man and my first thought is yes, do it. meny well educated women work as lpin's. it is leagle, safe, and if you are attractive it is lucrative. besides it is fun. why not enjoy having sex and get paid at the same time. i am an attracive man and i enjoy visiting lpin's if you decide to do it, let me know (e-mail) i will come see you. Godd luck, J. Click here: NV Brothels Discussion Forum

Pornoween News

From http://www.marksfriggin.com (Ed note, this occurred on Thursday but I had to go see Lisa Lipps who is appearing locally @ the Foxy Lady Southcoast thru Saturday), "LeeAnna Heart and the winner of the Pornoween contest, Seth, were on the phone to talk about why they both backed out of the sex deal. Seth won sex with LeeAnna on Halloween when he found LeeAnna hidden in the Scores strip club. Seth said he had to back out of the sex because his parents weren't too thrilled with the idea of him discussing it on the Stern show. Howard thought that was pretty odd for a 26 year old guy to do but he let him off the hook. LeeAnna, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. Howard said he was not going to let her off the hook. She also backed out of the deal after the whole thing was wrapped up. Howard told LeeAnna that he doesn't appreciate her using the show to promote her web site and then back out of something she knew about. She claimed that she didn't know that she was supposed to have sex with a listener. Howard told her she knew it all because she was told off the air and on the air that she'd be having sex. Howard was thinking of banning her from the show but when she agreed to bang the runner-up, Joey Boots (Ed note: This is the guy I told you about that was going to sue Howard & the show when I reported on the Pornoween ending 2 weeks ago. Guess dude gets to save those retainer fees. He's pretty smart, too. After Leeanna & Seth appeared on the show, she went to the green room & Joey Boots & this other guy got to meet her. Joey put his hand on her shoulder & said the phrase CORRECTLY which gave him runner-up status. This was shown during the end credits of Howard's E! show on Wednesday), he said that might redeem the whole situation. A lot of people thought that she should be banned from the show completely.

Howard took some angry calls from listeners who think she should be kept off the show. Joey Boots was on the phone acting very happy that he was going to have sex with LeeAnna. She's doing it to prove that her word is good. Howard told Joey that he can't guarantee that she'll actually do him (Ed note: I'll get an interview with him for your site if you like). Howard said that he won't give her any plugs until after she bangs him.