Wednesday, November 15th, 2000

Pornoween Ends With A Whimper

Green Lantern writes: According to today's recap of the Howard Stern show that can be found at http://www.marksfriggin.com Prozac Seth, the winner of the contest will not be collecting his prize due to pressure from his parents & has backed out. (Must be Republicans). However, the plot gets thicker when it was revealed that Leeanna wasn't going to go thru with it because she claims she wasn't really aware that'd she'd actually have to have sex with the winner. Leeanna claims that she was just "playing along" with the whole thing. Doug, one of the E! network's film crew, believes that she's backing out because she has a serious boyfriend that she's in love with. Also, she went on the record that she was saving anal sex for her husband when she gets married but upon review of "The Mating Game 2" from Erotic Angel, she has had anal sex in her private life once & liked it.

The Consumers of Porno - A One Sided Industry

Poet Philosopher Heather Barron writes: All the hype in porno is always on the women. Why don't we hear half the hype about male porno stars that are straight? Because porn consumers and groupies are mostly horny men? But yet women idolize movie stars like mel gibson, antonio banderas and brad armpit and buy mags such as People to partake in a glimpse of some topless hunk offcamera. The psychology of why we don't see more (or should I say any) Beefcake calendars in offices across the country is downright complicated. Women are always grouping together to debate "who's the hottest guy around and why". If women were more lustdriven than relationship and lovedriven, the entire porn industry would do a switch and dirty old women would be lining up at Erotica 2000 with $5 in singles to take polaroids with a guy from Minnesota named Jeb who "started stripping at 18 until he was approached in a club by a woman from Vivid who offered to make him a star if he could f--- like Charlie Sheen on speed." Oprah Winfrey has the entire market of housewifes eating out of the palm of her hand. My suggestion? If more women made the transition to sexstarved 4 legged beasts at 30, the world would be a better place. Women boost their middle age egos by bonding over what they have achieved with their children and families. Men bond over the suggestion of the ultimate pussy. Some want vicarious via video. Some want real, in person. Brings to mind an alternative to blowup dolls and dildos, human taxedermy, rejuvenated pussy and cock in a box wrapped with a satin bow, nearly new, as good as real, batteries included.... diesel trucks run better at high mileage.....

Sylvia Saint Award Winner

Sylvia Saint picked up an award in October in Prague for "Best Actress." French photographer Domonique Lille provides these photos:

Sylvia Sylvia Sylvia Sylvia Sylvia Sylvia Syvlia

Tera Patrick's Credentials

Kelly writes: "Hi Luke, Some low down on Tera Patrick.....real name Linda Ann Hopkins. She is a PRIME TIME BULLs---TER. Her whole bio is made up. The California Department of Consumer Affairs has no R.N. with her name, Cal State Northridge has never heard of her..."

I called Adella O'Neal, who does the PR for Patrick's company Digital Playground.

Adella says: "There are a thousand different biographies floating around on her. Penthouse and Hustler create stuff. People write things, that she is a Caribou hunter of has a llama farm in Argentina. A lot of magazines make stuff up. She graduated from Boise State in Idaho, not Cal State Northridge."

Luke: "Is she a Registered Nurse?"

Adella: "It is my understanding that she is."

XXX writes: "I do not have Tera’s degree. I never asked her for it. It was not a prerequisite for her contract with Digital Playground. She’s amazing. She’s brilliant. She is also a major fan of yours. She thinks you are the HOTTEST journalist in this business and can’t wait to have you on her show. She’s shooting this week but when I see her, I will see if she can get a copy of the degree to show off on her web-site."

Seeking to verify Tera credentials, I obtained this bio and these photos of Tera Patrick. Please Email Luke with your thoughts on her authenticity. Remember no less an authority than Gene Ross has declared her breasts real.

Please realize that when you view the following photos and experience a feeling of longing in your groins, it is only an intimation of your soul's thirst for God and His Torah.

Tera Patrick Tera Patrick Tera Patrick Tera Patrick Tera Patrick Tera Patrick Tera Patrick Tera Patrick

Email Luke if your enjoyment of those photos or of Tera's DVDs is diminished by the questioning of her RN status.

Hair: brown
Eyes: brown
Height: 5' 9"
Weight: 120 lbs.
Measurements: 36D-25-36
Nationality: British / Thai

Born on July 25th in Montana, Tera Patrick is beautiful and brilliant. She's a nurse, with the dream of becoming an infectious disease specialist.

She was discovered in San Francisco when she was 13 and subsequently moved to New York to pursue a career in modeling. She worked as a model and appeared on the runway until she was 18. At this time, she quit modeling to attend State University in Idaho. Tera transferred to California and returned to modeling, where she met Penthouse photographer Suze Randall. Soon after this introduction, Tera was named Penthouse Pet and Hustler Honey.

Tera Patrick gained instant stardom when she hosted Playboy's Nightcalls 411. Her success with Nightcalls led her to audition for a number of Playboy productions. She landed every role she auditioned for, including: spokes model for Playboy's Oasis Campaign; the lead in two of their feature films, 'Fast Lane to Vegas' and 'Personals'; the lead in Playboy's Home Video, 'Latin Ladies'; and several appearances on Sex Court and Helmet Cam.

Sexual by nature, pornography was always a fantasy of Tera's. She fooled around, appearing in a dozen films and more magazines, until signing an exclusive contract with Digital Playground. Their DVD production, Virtual Sex with Tera Patrick has remained on the top ten lists since it's release.

In May of 2000, just six months after her initiation into adult entertainment, Tera walked away from the Cannes Film Festival with the award for BEST NEW STARLET. Later in 2000, Tera received Best New Starlet from Cyber Adult Video Review and from Nightmoves Magazine, making it a hat-trick win. To date, Tera has appeared in AVN, Porn Stars, XXX Movie Illustrated, Amateur Porn, Biker, Cheri, Club, Club International, Fox, Gallery, High Society, Hustler, Hustler Beach Girls, Hustler Erotic Video Guide, Leg World, Mayfair, Model Directory, Penthouse and Taboo.

Tera currently hosts her own live, interactive web-chat, appropriately titled, The Tera Show. It's gossipy format and intriguing guests have made this show a 'must see' for industry professionals and consumers everywhere. It airs every other Tuesday at http://www.terashow.com and on over 30 affiliate websites.

What Does Luke Want For Christmas?

XXX reporter writes: "LUKE, Hi, I 'm doing a sidebar on what people in our industry want for Christmas, for the December issue of Xcitement. If you could oblige me with your answer and those of any porno people you have laying around I would appreciate it."

Luke says: Dear readers, I need your help. What do I want for Christmas? Email Luke

Paul writes: A new sponsor and an acting agent!

Tom writes: Luke, you want a cyanide tablet to bite into, don't you?

Luke says: Also, I'm picking up Persian Kitty at noon Sunday in my serial killer van and I plan on taking her to places she's never been before. Where should we go?

Trouble At AVN?

Concerned writes: I note that AVN's gossip site is no longer Tod-Hunter.com, but InsideAdult.com. Does this bode well for Tod? Luke, press your suit and slick back that mullet. I think Mr. Fishbein might want to do lunch soon.

Porners Talk Romance

From FadeToBlack.com:

We asked actors and actresses involved in hard-core porn about their off-camera idea of "the perfect Valentine's date." We were surprised to learn that after a hard days work of facials, anals, and gangbangs, hard-core porn stars have a sensitive side as well.

Nena Cherry: "A perfect valentine date would be: A night out on the town, for a nice steak or seafood dinner, a little dancing and then to return home to make love to that special valentine for hours and then to fall asleep in each others arms.That will be my perfect date."

Suzi Suzuki: "Evening with soft light and soft music and then a lot of foreplay in soft bed." Taylor Wayne: "My idea of a romantic evening would be, to be somewhere quiet and calm, perhaps Santa Barbara, have dinner at a dimly light restaurant with a piano player playing in the background or better still a saxophone player, playing some blues tunes. candles all around the room."

Minka: "My idea of a romantic evening is to stay at home. I am a gourmet cook and really don't like restaurant eating as I do so much of it on the road. I love to just cook a nice meal at home, clean up the house and have a certain person have dinner with me. Then watch some NBA Basketball on TV, preferably the Chicago Bulls. Click here: Fade to Black-On Line Magazine

PersianKitty.com

Frank writes: luke, here's a mystery for you to solve.... folks over on netpond are arguing over whether or not persian kitty is beth mansfield or really lewis payne. did she sell out? or was she always lewis payne? or is she partnering with lewis?

Weird writes: Is this weird or what??? Persian Kitty seems to be hosted by lppi.com Neat eh? no?? Does anyone here know Lewis De Payne? He owns lppi.com Does not ring a bell? Then you should look up Kevin Mitnick. Lewis De Payne seems to be a pal of Kevin Mitnick. Lewis De Payne and PK, what links do you have to Kevin Mitnick?? Lewis De Payne, were you ever on probation for hacking?? Years ago?? Luke F-rd, this is a juicy one..... Trust me....

RJB Telcom

Concerned writes on Netpond: I am in constant contact with a few webmasters at the Las Vegas Adult Convention who have been hanging out around webmasters and the national net suite. The latest news about maxcash is that nobody in Las Vegas has the slightest idea on what the situation is. It would be real nice if somebody could tell us what is going on as alot of people are waiting to make alternate plans and it would be nice to let people know before they go delinquent in their mortgage or car payments.

RightToKnow writes on Netpond: Anyone with some time on their hands can get a lot of info on the RJB Telcom case right online it appears. http://www.azd.uscourts.gov/

Click on "access to court records" and there is links to an online electronic system, plus a dialup service you can access for $.60 cents/page or something like that. That is where the RJB case should be listed I think. The FTC complaint lists the FTC attornies prosecuting the case, along with their Phone #'s. I would think SOMEONE could call them, perhaps an honest unbiased third party, and find out about webmaster payouts, and report it to us. Perjaps a job for Luke F-rd... you are afterall supposed to be a reporter... so do some coverage man!

On another note, I just finished reading from another public court docs site, the info on Robert Botto's divorce proceedings. VERY INTERESTING. Rich is in divorce proceedings as well. Maybe these women knew/know something we all don't?? just a thought. Maxcash, it is definitely in your best interest to let the truth be known now...

Recurring is important, don't get me wrong as long as the customer does not mind, as some do not mind being rebilled. Infact they prefer it. But this is not the scenerio at hand.

The above is a sterling example of how some processors are willing to damage our industry. A small example but the bigger picture leads to the destructive end's of our business. Underneath the web are real world porners, store owners, toy manufacture's, video companies, distributors, mag owners and more. People that have worked hard and gone to jail for there efforts to bring us to this reality. The adult web place is appearently doing a gross injustice to the painstaking efforts of our peer's. This s--- is detestable and I have learned that many of our real world peer's have great disdaine for what we all are doing. We are disrespecting them and I have shame on me for what I have done in the past on the web.

Now-a-days I like to think I am different about web matters, I have love for the industry and great respect for my real world peer's. I become grossly inferiated when I see this s--- and especially when this s--- happens to me.

Rich Botto from RJB Telcom writes on Netpond: Update from the battlefield. Our meeting with the FTC yesterday was extremely positive. They were receptive to our arguments and they were intrigued by our fraud protection techniques built into the Max Cash/Jettis system. Conversely, we found their knowledge of not only consumer fraud, but webmaster fraud to be pretty impressive.

Again, the meeting was very positive. We had the opportunity to present some evidence refuting the allegations brought against us. In many cases, these issues are black and white. However, this is an educational process as well, and we continue to look forward to assisting the FTC with that process. We are meeting with them again today and are confident that we will bring this matter to a close in the very near future.

As for the contractual hearing...After 45 minutes of listening to why he should hear the case, the judge made the decision to move the hearing to another venue (Phoenix). We're hopeful that the hearing will take place either tomorrow or Friday. Naturally, with the FTC or anything involving our legal system, things do not happen in a day. However, we believe we made months worth of progress in 12 hrs yesterday.

Let me reiterate, we are confident that we will have these issues behind us in the very near future.

On a personal note, I continue to be amazed by the facts surrounding this case. We have had our own moments of "discovery" which have proven to be incredibly interesting and disappointing at the same time. Additionally, it should be noted (and was made clear to us at one point yesterday), that this battle is one that we are fighting for the whole industry. Unfortunately, we (as an industry) have the spotlight on us 24/7, but that spotlight is about to burn brighter and hotter than ever. Legitimate webmasters are paying for those who conduct business without ethics or ANY moral responsibility. This is not a one battle war by any stretch of the imagination.

Luke F-rd Live

Listen here to tonight's show. It is of uneven quality. It starts with 15 minutes of webmaster talk with Jeff from AdultWebmasterResources.com. Kevin Blatt phones in for five minutes from the Las Vegas Adultdex convention. Then we get James DiGiorgio on for 35 minutes from the set of his pornographic movie. Then I struggle along on my own for 15 minutes until Quasarman comes on the line and we talk for 40 minutes. For the last 30 minutes of the show, I am interviewed by Dokk, who owns and operates the channel I broadcast live on - www.webmasterlive.com.

While my show was frequently of poor quality, the l-keford.com team performed splendidly in the chat room. Particularly look for the sharp comments of Yezter Hora (Chaim Amalek) and JMT (JustMrT). Read the transcript here (scroll down for tonight's log).

YetzerHora> Merchant accounts! We want to hear talk of jews, whores, race, big media scandas, the lavender mafia, Israeil pimps, and you Luke, are talking about merchant accounts?

YetzerHora> Great news - I will be at the Bunny Ranch next week. From Cheder to Chor Houses.

Chaim Amalek writes: Luke, here is one for the ladies. Next week I will be working at the Bunnyranch on 30 Moonlight Road in Carson City, Nevada, and at Fran's Ranch in Beatty, Nevada near Death Valley. Ladies, if you never have had sex with a 5'7" tall 375 pound slightly elderly jewish man before (I have lost some weight), this is your BIG chance. Please remember to bring a bucket of Popeye's Fried Chicken and biscuits. (KFC simply will NOT do.) I like to use the drippings as a lube in case you are not sufficiently aroused, and I enjoy eating the chicken, too.

PS Please put in a good word for me with Heather Barron, who I hope will be your guest one of these days. I have ideas for an entire series of "Brigit (Klaus)Fuchs Bernie" series of trans-theological porn vids we could make about copulatory love and treason.

liberty> Luke, it's okay if you're having gay dreams. It only makes you more interesting.

YetzerHora> Tell us about Persian Kitty - the swarthy trannie "girlfriend" from Persia you have been trying to win over

Luke says: I had a date scheduled with her for Tuesday night, but because I was doing this show, I could not answer her call. And instead of meeting me nearby, she drove home. So no date.

DJTodd> Did having Luke's psychiatrist listen to him do his show help any?

jmt> he won't tell you about anyone else as long as he has the chance to talk about himself

YetzerHora> i would rather have two extra crispy and spicey Popeye's chicken breasts, two biscuits, and a large order of dirty rice over a date with a porn chick any day.

Luke Gets Mail

Heather Barron writes Snoopy: thanks for the email snoopy. i am taking this one step at a time.....and am looking forward to f---ing my fans on film...please keep in touch luv, heather

Luke asks: Zoe only did four movies for Sin City during her contract. I thought her contract called for her to do more movies than that? What's up Sin City?

Email: Dear Mr Ford My name is Donald Bodeker and I live in Perth Western Australia, I would appreciate your opinion regarding the lack of male asian performers within the industry. My email address is dbodeker@agric.wa.gov.au

Brent writes Luke: So what will you do? Do you have the strength of character to take a stand for what is right, or do the deceitfulness of riches have you in bondage?

Carlos writes: I recently found out that Traci Lords is the owner of the rights to all her movies. Is this true? And if so, what's the name of her company? In other words, who do we have to get in touch with in order to bring all the Traci titles to her fans?

Luke says: Only one of her movies was made after she turned 18 - Traci I Love You. She owns the rights to that one title. None of the other titles are clearly legal to buy or sell in the United States.

Frank writes: I watched and taped the show tonight. Luke, you were great on the show. You are my teacher. This affirms you taught me well.

Lovelace's sytematic use of the "bimbo defense" had a definte scent of a pattern. We are to believe that Lovelace never experienced the "learning curve". Hello! Put me in front of a mock jury and I can shred this in a New York Minute. Living in Minneapolis and working in the courthouse I remember seeing Lovelace in the courthouse corridore. The "Minneapolis ordinance passed the city council but our mayor at the time vetoed it. Indianapolis, IN passed it but it was overturned by the courts. It did, however become a precipt of canadian law (a scarey thing to begin with). I'm not gay but if Canadian Customs can stifle free speech using the aguements of the failed "Minneapolis ordinance" free speech is in big trouble.

Another point of the show: The appeared to redact mention of beastiality.

Fran writes: Your well-intentioned fan Isabella, writes: "You should really go into another area of journalism. Don't you feel that you are wasting yourself? I guess that is not a fair criticism. I just know that you could do something amazing!"

Darling Luke (do I sound like Lynne now...smile), I think your site and your accomplishments are already amazing....you "came out" as a practicing Jew to the porn industy and frequently share your ongoing spiritual journey with your readers (that's amazing to me); you know the adult industry better than any other "outsider" (no small feat); and you continue to inspire and enrage us all on a daily basis. You have a whole lifetime yet to be Ted Koppel, when you are ready.

Gresham's Law

Ian writes: Hi Luke, I've previously commented on the misuse of the expression 'money laundering'. Now it's 'Gresham's Law'.

"Pat Riley writes on RAME: 1) Gresham's law applies here too. While raincoaters might love Max, they'd watch PT if there were nothing else (not that I'm advocating watching PT's movies)."

The situation described only sounds like Gresham's Law because it's "bad driving out good". The Law, named after Sir Thomas Gresham (1519-79), a prominent Elizabethan banker, is normally summarised as "bad money drives out good." There have been many instances in history when coins made of precious metal were substituted by others of cheaper material. So long as they both had the same value in the market, people would try to be paid in the original coin (which they would then hoard) and pay their own bills with the new, less desirable, coins. The result of this would be that eventually the only coins being used would be the 'bad' ones, they having driven out the 'good' ones. It is a very interesting phenomenon, which can be applied in many situations, not just financial. I don't know how the discussion on Gresham's Porno Law started, but Pat Riley is just stating the obvious - that when offered a choice, people will choose what they prefer; and in the absence of a choice they'll take what they can get.