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Monday, October 30th, 2000

Sin City, VCA Witchhunts

I hear that folks at VCA and Sin City are going around the building wondering who gave scoop to Luke. Some Sin City folks think that it comes from the company owner David Sturman who has the best sense of humor of any company owner.

Reuben Sturman tells Luke: "It's good to see you back at your old tricks. My son David is one of the few important porners who finds your site humorous."

Luke: "Any other company owner would kill me."

Reuben: "David has the attitude that there's no bad publicity. Sin City doesn't get any publicity period. Not from AVN. Not for anything. Making Sin City controversial pleases him. It might sell more pieces. David probably thinks, 'Well, s---, if Extreme looks like a bunch of retards and they sell a bunch of product, then maybe we should look like a bunch of retards too, and sell more product.'

"All these guys care about is moving product. Get the name out there. You get Sin City's name out there."

Luke: "He hates seeing his own name out there."

Reuben: "I understand that. He's like me in that respect. But that's got a lot to do with the feds, and the IRS, and the wife and kids. But he likes Sin City being out there.

"You've got to remember that Sin City is a real small piece of David's empire. Probably a money losing piece. He started it ten years ago as a hobby. For bragging rights. He'd go to these shows and guys like Steve Hirsch and Russ Hampshire would be bragging about this movie and that movie and all David was was a distributor. He couldn't talk about his product. So that's why he started making movies. Then got into it more and more to make a business out of it.

"If you have a bad boy, you don't put him in jail. He's still your boy. Chuck Martino has been a bad boy. He's a loveable man but his biggest enemy is his big mouth. Chuck created a situation that made David and Mark Snyder want him out. Martino was doing a great job as production head until he started doing self destructive things.

"You need to write eight pages about the glory of Sin City. What Sin City has accomplished in the last year... The company has been united the past 18 months. There's been a large increase in the amount and the quality of production. The boxes, the art work, the sales..."

Important Pubic Announcement

From PR Newswires: Chaim Amalek announced today that he has obtained sufficient funding to begin shooting of the first Chaim Amalek (R) adult film in over 15 years. As in the past, the movie will be set in Manhattan, and will take full advantage of location shooting there. Actresses interested in doing something different, something that is both carnal and politically important, are advised to contact Mr. Luke F-rd, who will be working with Mr. Amalek in determining final casting.

Self Censorship

Bill writes: Luke, I noticed today a number of large paysites are covering up crotch areas on their paysite tours? You know what the story is behind this? Is is just just a pre-president Bush tidy up or is there more to it?

Luke: A pre-Bush tidy up.

J.D. Considine suggests: "Given what's being covered, maybe it's just a general bush tidy up."

Bridgette Kerkove's Luminous Career

Emmett writes: Bridgette Kerkove luminous career is becoming brighter every month. I first became a fan of her films after watching "Stop! My Ass is on Fire II". Her lustful face, coupled with her energetic body, is what generate an echelon of fans. Even when she performs a fellatio scene, she keeps her mesmerizing eyes wide open just like her mouth. Just so she can swallow every ounce of semen that is splattered on her face. The only Americans that rival her caliber are Inari Vachs and Alana Evans. Sadly enough, Inari seems to be vanishing away from adult films. I believed it started when she rightfully won an AVN award this year. If those three women would work together, adult films would excel to a new level of magnificence.

Lars Von Trier Wants To Make Porn Movie

BERLIN, Oct 30 (Reuters) - Award-winning Danish director Lars von Trier would like to make a porn film one day, the German magazine Cinema quoted him on Monday as saying.

"I don't see what's so terrible about that," he was quoted as saying, adding that it was a shame something which he termed as important as pornography was so neglected.

The maker of this year's Golden Palm winner at Cannes -- "Dancer in the Dark" -- would not be content with any old blue movie, however, he would have to see how he could treat the subject "so that it would be interesting as a film," he told Cinema.

Do David Sturman, Russ Hampshire Truly Love Each Other?

Today we begin the first in a series on porn's closest relationships. We examine the dynamics between David Sturman, the owner of GVA West and Sin City, and Russ Hampshire, owner of VCA and connected to Babenet.

Porn is an industry operated on relationships, many of which go back 15 years or longer. The industry is a good ol' boys club. Despite this, there are often tensions and even, gasp, hatred, between pornographers.

Today we wonder, do David Sturman (Jew) and Russ Hampshire (Gentile) truly love each other with heart and soul? Do they relate according to the I-Thou theories of Jewish theologian Martin Buber?

David and Russ must do business with each other, even when they're not exactly one souled with each other. GVA needs VCA product and VCA needs GVA's distribution.

A source near Russ Hampshire speculates: "I don't think David likes Russ much. I think Russ dissed David in the early 1980s when David was a party boy. By the way, don't let Russ know that I am talking to you or he will go nuts and start banging his baseball bat and conduct an inquisition around the company to find out who your VCA deepthroat is."

A Sin City source responds: "Luke, David has produced over 300 movies in over ten years and has used most all the adult directors during this period. Many of them have given him less than perfect movies. As you can see, he no longer use any outside directors except when necessary and all of these work under Michael Raven who David trusts implicitly. Roy Kartch is an outside director is use on occasion because he puts all the budget money into the projects, they are quality, and he has scruples.

"Russ and David are friends and David never said that Russ hates Jews, this is bulls--- just like the statement about David. As you know, David never was a party boy. Instead he spends his every spare moment engaged in the study of Torah and the performance of God's commandments. The tawdry temporal matters of this earth don't matter much to Mr. Sturman compared to the things of heaven.

"Luke, why store up treasure on earth where moth can corrupt and thief can break in and steal? It's much better to spend your money gambling on the NFL.

"David's been married for over 17 years with three beautiful children. This source is one s--- disturbing schmuck who has some sort of inferiority complex. People are jealous so they make up things about others to make themselves feel better. I feel sorry for them."

XXX, a famous and knowledgeable porner who appears often of l-keford.com but prefers to remain anonymous, says: "Russ used to be a much angrier rougher tougher more volatile guy than he is today. He's mellowed. And as he's mellowed, his relationship with David has improved to the point that now Russ is about the only one of the big porners that David likes to hang with.

"Why did David get rid of award winning director Kris Kramski? Because Kris f---ed David for four years. Kris would get tons of money to shoot in film then turn in a film with no sound, because he shot it all in voice over. You design it that way and make it look like you're being real arty. In fact, you save a lot of money because you don't have to do audio transfers nor do you need a camera that has sync sound. So you save yourself $20k and pocket it. I hear it took David a long time to figure that out.

"Though nobody has ever f---ed David as much as Paul Norman. Though Lasse Braun f---ed David hard. Made pieces of s--- movies and charged David a ton of money. Lasse was bragging about how much money he made, about $30k per picture he pocketed. You know what you have to do to make $30k off a porno? David's a real schmuck that way."

Frankel writes Luke: "I hear that your "XXX" source is really Steve Hirsch, the owner of Vivid Video?"

CyberErotica Club Pix Asian Frenzy FF5 Homegrown Video

Breakup Porno Style

I got a call from "Jack," a pornographer, Saturday, October 21. I've changed the names in this story.

Jack says: "I've got a press release for you... Jack explains talent. I dated a girl named [Sandy]. Her real name is... I booted the whore about two weeks ago when I found out that she was a carrier of chlamydia. I have videotapes of her discharging her stinky pussy. I can send you a copy if you want. Anyone interested in seeing this incredible extravaganza, can contact me... I duplicated 100 copies for safe sex distribution so that everyone can be safe from this street prostitute. They'll be available at AIM in about a week. Sandy gave me chlamydia about two weeks ago. I've been rechecked for all STDs. And now I am safe from enduring the painful pissing.

"I've been informed by the Jack Posse that this dirty vile smelly skank whore has now shaved her pussy to rid herself of crabs. Whether it is true or not, I am not sure. I am told that this hooker can be seen on Sepulveda selling videos of herself out of the trunk of her fat friend's car...

"Girls and guys of the business, please be safe and aware. Sandy will f---, suck and distribute her STDs throughout the industry because she hates men. The girl lies to everyone and can be proved by over 20 people... Her rates may fool you. She does scenes for $300 for boy-girl. Do not do business with this speed addicted crack whore. If you've noticed the fast pace of this pig's weight change, it is because she has smoked so much speed. I know from personally seeing all of her bags.

"I try to help this drug addled street whore but she is a hopeless cause. We do not need any new cases like Tony Montana. Peace out fans... Vote for me in the Presidential election..."

Sandy replied three days later: "Jack told me that he had left something on your machine... I'm commenting. He's a stupid little moron. For someone who says that he loves you and cares about you, and been with you for several months, and just because you don't return their pages, he's going to f---ing talk s--- about you. Talk about a f---ing little kid. Who would want to believe his s---? None of it is true. He's a f---ing liar and a manipulative little bitch. He needs to go to jail. He doesn't even have his license. He has a restraining order on him from me and to top it off, no registration. I'd like to see his ass get busted.

"If Jack thinks he's so hot, why is he living out of his car? And he's living out of his friend's houses, going from house to house, like the little f---ing bum that he is. Funny how I have a roof over my head and I don't need to worry about anything like that. Pretty stupid huh? What a f---ing moron Jack is."

Linda Lovelace - True Hollywood Story

Linda Lovelace Premiere: November 5, 2000, 9 p.m. This episode of the E! True Hollywood Story tells the incredible story of Linda Lovelace, a small-town girl who became the adult-film industry's first superstar. And, for the first time in True Hollywood Story's history, the story is told without narration. Interviews include Lovelace, her ex-husband Chuck Traynor and former porn star Gloria Leonard. Click here

Heather Barron Ready For Her Closeup

Amused writes: Oh Luke, Heather Barron has updated her site with some great new shots. She is announcing her intentions to crossover from prostitution to mainstream acting by posting some very dramatic photos on her site. She shows a range of emotion from confused to confused in a teddy to confused with a black wig on. Get Arron Spelling quick! Click here: TheActress

Luke Gets Mail

Andrea writes: Hi Luke: I'm a Canadian who just viewed a documentary about pornography in North America, and you were a key player in the film.

Although I'm not quite sure what your firm opinion of the industry is, I must say that I was impressed by your commitment to report the truth (particularly regarding HIV-positive film stars) even when it may have led to personal danger.

I'm a 34 year old bisexual female who has recently discovered the wonderful line of adult videos know as "Where the Boys Aren't". With a twinge of guilt I know that many of these actresses may not be there but for the most dire of circumstances; but I'm still excited to see women who are being sexually fulfilled without some goofball man-toad jerking off in their faces.

I was impressed by your presentation on the documentary, and I'm hoping your website reflects the same honesty and cynicism I saw on film.

David writes: The French half of the NFB -- the ONF -- also did their own porn documentary recently. It's called « Autopsie d'un film érotique ». It's much lighter in tone and looks at the production of a softcore film, Endangered Love (?), something like that. The big star (?) in that one is someone named Monique Parent, a very attractive woman with a mysterious French Canadian-looking name although she speaks no French in the film. "Autopsie" is a bit frothy for me. I prefer hard news, more like Cowan's work. I don't believe "Autopsie" has been issued yet in an English version.

I'm a documentary film buff/hobbyist. I post a lot of data to the Internet Movie Database. I knew the film [Give Me Your Soul] was airing because it made the cover of the National Film Board newsletter this month. It was a very good quality NFB cinema verite documentary. Cowan found a lot of interesting individuals and storylines and extracted some compelling drama out of the whole experience.

That industry is even more slick/superficial/self-deceiving than the conventional Hollywood industry -- apparently -- and Cowan did a good job at showing some cold reality. Or so I thought.

I'm not sure the portrait of you for example is necessarily entirely flattering, but then in a documentary about that area you don't expect everyone to be completely conventional. That wouldn't really go with the territory. You come across as 3-dimensional anyway. I thought you were the person most easily identified with. Some of the other stories were quite sad of course, that Jade woman in particular.

Cowan is perhaps best-known here for stirring up a furor(e) with this docudrama The Kid Who Couldn't Miss, an unflattering reappraisal of our WWI national hero, flying ace Billy Bishop, where verisimilitude seems to have taken a backseat to poetic licence. Almost like a case of the Aussie Tall Poppy syndrome. Vets hated it.

Anyway, your field is sort of an unfamiliar one for me. One of my girlfriends borrowed a video from someone at the office a few years back, Debbie Does Something or other, but that's the last time I would have seen one. She (Tammy) thought this video would spice things up and that I would appreciate it; Tammy's plenty spicy all on her own without the dumb video. That's what I thought at least. I'm definitely in love with that screwed-up Katie June girl however; that's probably the universal male reaction.

Cowan in his epilogue says you have been subject to litigation. Mercenary bastards. Good luck with that. You seemed to be the one in the documentary engaged in the most worthwhile activity.

Larry writes: After viewing the CBC thing last evening, then finding your website, realized the corp. missed the boat completely. A Luke F-rd expose would have waaaaay more cool than that 'run-o-the-mill' porn stuff.

Luke wonders: Why do men like to stick their penises in women's vaginas?

Ian replies: It's called evolution. Early men (hominids, or what-have-you) who didn't like doing it didn't get their genes passed on, while those who really enjoyed it begat large numbers of our forebears, a high proportion of whom therefore had genes which were associated with such enjoyment. Imagine the state of the world if it ceased to be an enjoyable occupation - no more children, no more Christians, no more Jews.

John writes: Luke, any word why Julia Parton"s website went off the air a month or two ago and has never reappeared?

Goddess writes Luke: Why don't you saunter on over to the offices of AVN for Gene's last day tomorrow and then all write about it on the site, Luke--include photos, PUH-LEEZE!! I know this return of cfs is really due to the fact that the Tragically Hip God of Gossip is leaving, and you're inwardly grieving. But don't worry, you're not alone. I, too, am masturbating like crazy---I mean, bawling my eyes out. The upside of Gene's departure is that I can now humor myself by doubling up my efforts to annoy the hell out of Mike South....

Helpful writes: Time is short. Have you composed an ass kissing farewell letter to Gene yet? His last day is Tuesday. Luke, Gene writes about 1/3 of l-keford.com via your copy and pasting. You owe it to Gene and you can consider it an atonement for Yom Kippur albeit a late one. I am serious.

Helpful writes to GeneRoss.com: Dear Gene, Our mutual friend Luke F-rd wanted me to ask if you would continue to write 1/3 of his site for him? Since he will no longer be able to cut and paste from geneross.com you will have to email it directly to him. You can't expect RAME to pick up all the slack at l-keford.com upon your departure. Thanks and good luck!

ps Luke is also torn on what to present to you as a farewell gift so if you don't mind what is your favorite variety of orchid, brand of premium chocolates, and type of injectable synthetic steroids?

Yetzer Tova writes: Dear Luke: There is enough hatred on the internet, must you give it yet another forum in which to poison the minds of others? Let's face it, the people who read your material are none too stable to begin with (consumers of porn must be a very sexually frustrated lot). Hammering them with homophobia, antisemitism, and the like on the very site that caters to their sexual frustration is a recipe for disaster. Please be more responsible in your pulpit.

Rumdar writes: Luke, Why don't you ask Yetzer Tova out on a date? Don't let this reformist yenta get away.

MG writes about Lisa Deleeuw: I've had my ear to the ground for a few years + here's all I know: Interestingly, I've heard it said that there is no factual proof that Lisa De Leeuw is dead. In other words: that this is nothing more that a rumour that got way out of hand, and has taken on a life of its own.

Point 1: This rumour first started out on Rec.Arts.Movies.Erotica when someone said they heard Marilyn Chambers say that Lisa had died. No independent confirmation was ever made or give to the best of my knowledge. However, that didn't stop the R.A.M.E. reading room from putting her on it's "Dead Porn Stars" list. From there several places started taking this rumour as fact. Excalibur was one, (your site was another). Now just about every site lists her as dead yet nobody has any independent confirmation (that I've seen anyway) that she is dead.

Point 2: There are several supposed death dates. Nov 11th, 1990 is one. Nov 11th 1993 is another. However, several other sources list 1995 as the year she died. If she died. Who knows? So far nobody in the "industry" has come out and said that they had first hand knowledge that she's dead. Except Marilyn Chambers and she was out of the industry at that time + in subsequent interviews Chambers commented that she'd "heard" that, with no direct confirmation. Could she have died from AIDS? Sure; she was a hardcore drug user, but I'm still waiting for independent confirmation before I say she's indeed dead.

In "Hustler Erotic Video" magazine Oct. '89 it reads in the editorial pages: "Lisa De Leeuw just gave her farewell stage performance at San Francisco's Market Street Theater, then moved back home to the Midwest with her husband to have a baby." Her real name is/was Lisa Trego and she hailed from East Moline, IL. DOB: 2-12-58. -You've got to admit that it would be a hell of a story if you found her alive and well...

Best Adult Video For 2000

The best adult XXX video of 2000 ships to stores this week. The video and its sexy new starlet has turned the industry upside down. Here's what the critics are saying: HUSTLER - "Fully Erect!", ADULT VIDEO NEWS - "Pre-Noms in all categories! AAAAA", Gene Shalit - "So sexy it made my hair stand on end." What is the video and who is the mystery starlet?

The Munster In Porn

Emmett writes: Luke, I recently perused in "The Internet Movie Database" to find information on Al Lewis III. If you reminisce, he played the character "Grandpa Munster" on The Munsters. I examined the link to see the last film he starred in and I read "Buttman at Nudes a Poppin' 7 (2000) (V) .... Himself " I have never seen the film but is it true? Is he in the film? If so, is he performing sexual acts? I located the box cover but he wasn’t on it.

Direct IMDB link: http://us.imdb.com/Name?Lewis,+Al+(III)

Box Cover: http://www.evilangel.com/images/boxcovers/nudes7.jpg

Luke says: I believe he was in the video but did not perform sex.

Money Laundering

Reuben Sturman writes in from heaven: "Luke, why don't you write about money laundering? Some of these big production companies will claim they are spending $30,000 or $300,000 on a movie but they will want half the money back in cash from the budget. Why? To launder money, to hide it from the IRS. They give these fake budget numbers to AVN, but ask some of the directors how much the budgets really are.

"Where does Rob Black (Zicari) get the money for his XPW wrestling league? From his dad? His Sicilian father is pretty juiced up. If you're a Sicilian and you've been in the porn business forever and you're in a place like Buffalo, what do you think? The money has got to be coming from somewhere else.

"Then Chuck Zane (Zicari) got a bunch of money and he's built up a huge operation in Germany. It's probably European money. Where's it coming from? It ain't their money.

"Where did Nic Orleans get $200,000 to shoot his vampire movie for New Sensations?"

Don Corleone writes: "Laundering money through porn production: great idea! What if I owned adult stores? It's a beautiful cash business. I could skim. But skimming is obvious and risky. They watch closely. So I can't get too greedy with the skim. But I can also produce the product I sell. I could find producers who willing to play the game. They need the work. It's all they can do. And they're not exactly Boy Scouts. I could give them a check for $60k. It's a legitimate expense. It's the business I'm in. They could give me back $30k in cash. They could keep a bit for themselves. After all, I need to keep them quietly happy. They make the movie. Maybe they dummy up receipts and expenditures that equal $60k, maybe they don't. Would I even care? I don't track those expenses. That's their business. They gave me a budget. The budget said $60k. That's all I need. And besides, who is going to look at the finished product and know-- absolutely know -- that it did not cost $60K to produce? I've been in this business a long time. For the most part, I would not know. It's a beautiful deal. I put $30k in my pocket free and clear. I get to expense $60k. I even get product to sell so I can do it over and over and over and over again."

Luke says: I don't think that money laundering is in consonance with how God wants us to conduct our pornography.

Who Is The Fool?

Today Jack T. Chick brings us a timeless tale of human foolishness. When the king was dying without God, the jester knew he had found a bigger fool than himself. Porners, do not be fools! Read today's Chick tract and be saved! Click here: The Fool