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Tuesday, October 24th, 2000

Luke F-rd Live

We had a great fight tonight between net porners Kevin Blatt and Jeff Miller (30 mins in). Listen here. Later, I had a good conversation with Kevin Moore from Stunningcurves.com about Vivid, AVN and Gene Ross.

I am such a rat. Every morning I pray about what a wonderful thing it is to bring peace between warring parties. Yet I don't think I am ever happier than when I am creating war.

Ten years ago, my parents will testify how I used to preach against the great sin of gossip. But now I'm embarrassed to admit that I love certain dish.

I've felt like hell the past five weeks. I felt horrible tonight. Fever, pounding headache, wretchedly sore throat. Then I got Kevin Blatt and Jeff Miller going at each other and I started feeling good. My fever began to clear.

I think the real turning point for me was when Jeff said that Kevin had a habit of sleeping with other people's girlfriends.

Oh wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this burden of sin?

Please, no emails about exercising self control.

Kevin writes: This is in reference to me hanging out and partying with "crackheads" as Jeff calls them I have the physical email he was squirming eh?

Luke: Kevin sent me this: You have received a message! sorry kevin, but you do. Joe E is a coke head, maybe not a crack head, but certainly a coke head sent at 4:02 pm from webvirgins Jeff Miller ICQ #394543

Kevin emails this: Kevin...

Interesting piece of work. This email shows just exactly what you are made of. You owe us $2800 for the laptop. You can return the laptop and get your final compensation or you can keep the laptop and we will deduct that amount from your final compensation, the choice is yours.

You want to continue to slander and liable me, your actions will be met with accordingly. I told you that yesterday on the phone. People can see through you Kevin, dont think that they can't. The most fascinating development was when your BROTHER and your COUSIN called last night giving me their full support. As for the people that "hate me", xpays - they are huge spammers, I dont care if they hate me. Joe E? He steals content, I dont care if he hates me. Get a grip Kevin, it didnt work out, now be a big boy and move on with your life

Notice what he says about Joe and XPAYS

Jeff Miller from SunupMedia, Kevin's former partner in love and life, writes: Hi Luke... Thanks for the show tonight, it was fun talking to both you and Lee...you make a great team!

A couple of clarifications....I should have made it clear that Kevin's sexual prowess with all of these porn stars and other peoples girlfriends occurs only under 2 conditions, 1: He is asleep, and 2: He pays them. Of course 1 refers to the girlfriends and 2 refers to the porn stars. I think the analyst that you suggested we all chip in for would come to the conclusion that KB suffers from delusions of grandeur. Once again, KB is a victim, he is right and everyone else is wrong. Yawn.

As for Joe E being a coke head, KB should reveal my source! But alas, that won't happen, would spoil that neat trick he does. You know, the one were he talks out of both sides of his mouth.

Metro Gangbangers

On November 18, 2000, Metro Studios (recently delisted by NASDAQ) will present porn superstar, Houston and bukkake sensation, Nicole Sheridan in "The Circus of Anal." This historic event will held in Los Angeles and will feature a 250 man anal gang bang of the two lucky young ladies.

Sexy, virile, gainfully employed, college educated, mentally stable gentlemen from across the USA have been scrambling to reserve their spots in this joyful celebration of male bonding. l-keford.com has obtained exclusive photos of the first group of studs to be accepted to "The Circus of Anal." Congratulations gents! You make your cell block proud!

Click here: Wanted - Central Park Photos Click here: Amazingsex.com | Welcome to the World of Metro Adult Video Online

Luke Gets Mail

Kevin Blatt writes: Now that the air has cleared a bit Luke I'll say this..... Stay tuned to see what KB does next. Same Blatt time, same Blatt Channel. I cite that we had parted ways due to "Musical Differences" because you see the more I watch VH 1 and their behind the music series, the more I feel it is politically correct to cite musical differences rather than slam someone for their inadequacies. You see it was good enough for Axl Rose on his break up of Guns and Roses It was even better for Bobby Brown and New Edition. This too will have an impact even bigger than Lionel Ritchie leaving the Commodores. Just you wait and see.

Pete writes: I hope this email will give you a laugh. I got a chance to converse in-depth with Leeanna Heart last month in Tolland, CT. I asked her about the email you sent me that she was retired & married to a rich dentist. She said that it was totally untrue but had a really good laugh when she told me that you had forwarded a copy of your email message to her. She had no clue that I was GreenLantern (my alias) but I looked around for a hole to jump into after that while she laughed. Leeanna is now sporting violet contact lenses & has added blond highlights to her hair.

What I'm surprised is that you haven't posted about Howard Stern's Pornoween contest where listeners will look for Leeanna in the CT/NY/NJ tri-state area & if they find her get to have sex with her for approx 2 hrs. She was on his show last Wednesday talking about her career, taking phone calls & establishing rules for the contest. You can go to http://www.marksfriggin.com for a summary of the show. BTW, I never got to ask her all my questions so I apologize for not sending you the info I promised. Leanna is having an email constructed at http://www.sexyleeanna.com

Lori Michaels

Becky Carols writes: Hey Luke, Tell that dumb cunt Lori that Vivid is all condoms because they don't want any of their whores suing them if they get AIDS. It's about money, not useless hookers like Lori.

Ribald Poet writes: At least now we know the reason for all of Ms. Michaels' political blather of late; poor girl done got *clunked* on her noggin with a tree branch, fell off her LOADER (nooo, not Peter North!) toppled to the ground and obviously sustained a concussion of some sort (her headache complaint)-----

Thing is, there's a sure-fire CURE for Ms. Michaels and her misguided political musings that has been demonstrated countless times on numerous sitcoms like GILLIGAN's ISLAND and shows of this ilk. (I direct anyone to the "Gilligan has amnesia" episode for follow-up details) Ya see, all Ms. Michaels needs to do is climb right back on that LOADER (nooo, *still* not Peter North!) and proceed to pick out the biggest tree she can find on her property... run into it, have a big ol' branch come down and knock her on her admittedly cute ass again, suffer another concussion... and then when she wakes up she'll be magically transformed back into the *real* Lori Michaels that we all had cum to know, love, appreciate & jerk-off to. (which of course is the Democratic, liberal, I-suck-and-f----for-my-living-so-how-the-hell-could-I-possibly-present-myself- as-an-anal-retentive-stuck-up-bitch Ms. Lori Michaels)

History is full of tragic romantic relationships. Anthony and Cleopatra. Paris of Sparta and Helen of Troy. Romeo and Juliet. OJ and Nicole. Today Jack T. Chick examines the classic biblical story of Samson and Delilah. What punishment should befall a man who is stupid enough to put a woman before God? Click here: Superman?

Amused writes: Burbank's favorite escort / screen writer is at a career crossroads. Should Heather take the sperm drenched, porno plunge and make a hard-core sex video? More importantly, does anyone really want to see the chunky, pale, 32 year old mother of four in a hard-core sex video? She wants your honest opinion. Click here: TheAdultFilmDebate/Dunking for Pussy