Wednesday, October 18th, 2000
Return Of Linda Lovelace
I found this info on GeneRoss.com: Lovelace appears at the Chiller Theatre Toy, Model and Film Expo on October 27, 28 and 29. The event is being held at the Meadowlands Hilton in Secaucus, New Jersey.
Linda's publicizing the new book, The Complete Linda Lovelace (by sex journalist Eric Danville), and her upcoming layout in the January 2001 Leg Show magazine (hits stands November 7) and the launch of her website www.lindalovelace.net.
Aghast writes: Leg World? Is it the varicose veins issue?
Vivid Girls Porn To Rock
The VH1 cable TV music video channel features "Porn To Rock" Thursday, October 26. VH1 says: Heather, Raylene and Dasha are world famous Vivid girls ... and all three are all on a quest to become rock and roll stars. PTR 2 focuses on these three as they chart their path to music stardom. Porn To Rock is two 1/2 hour shows. The first focuses on Heather, Raylene and Dasha; 3 ladies who are legendary in the world of porn. The second 1/2 hour takes us into the lives of Johnny, Houston, Mark and India ... all 7 of these porn stars are convinced they have what it takes to make the leap from porn to rock. (Premieres from 10-11p.)
Why Men Seek Babes, Women Seek Bad Boys
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has a great essay here on why men seek babes, and women seek bad boys. I think he is dead right.
Here's an excerpt: The incessant male search for escape from the rat race explains why it is that men seek out beauty in a woman. They are looking for someone who will give them that same sensation as snowboarding or wave-running or vodka tonics. They want to simply feel, rather than think. They want to be overwhelmed by a woman's beauty, to not have to struggle in order to figure out the attraction. They look to beauty as a drug that can give them an instant high. Contrary to popular belief, men are not seeking to impress friends and colleagues with trophy wives. Rather, a man wants something much more straightforward. He seeks to find someone who makes him feel good simply by looking at her and without any other exertion needed in the relationship.
And this is where men err. In seeking a momentary thrill, they will forever find themselves unfulfilled. In seeking beauty alone, they will end up empty. The real allure of having a woman in his life is not physical. It is rather that she rescues him from the constant rat race by making him feel special even when he is not producing. You are not a nobody, she tells him. You are my man. Men should be attracted, not to the female form, but to the female energy, the all-embracing quality that can see beyond their accomplishments to the real human being.
Ebay Bans Porn
The internet's biggest auction site Ebay has banned porn.
Ebay says: Beginning November 21, 2000, in addition to what is not permitted per our current Adult Only policy or on the core site, the following will also no longer be permitted within a listing:
Descriptions depicting penetration or oral sexual acts and graphic portrayals of human genitalia
Images portraying graphic sexual activity or graphic portrayals of human genitalia
Hidden camera videos and amateur videos containing adult/sexual activity
Listings depicting graphic violence and/or obvious bodily injury
Listings featuring bodily fluids
Necrophelia Links to sites that contain material prohibited on eBay as outlined in our Mature Audiences policy
Titles containing profanity Used underwear - including but not limited to, boxer shorts, panties, briefs, athletic supporters
4517 writes on RAME: well, those scumbags at ebay have done it again. once again they are being a "responsible corporation" by cleaning up their site of all those awful adult listings. it wasn't enough to just prohibit seacrhes of all adult items, and make it so inconvenient for everyone. no, that wasn't enough, because adult items still got listed. so today they banned just about every xxx video and most modern skin mags.
they moral do-gooders at these corporations make me sick. there wouldn't even be an internet if it wasn't for porn. the porn users of the world CREATED the internet (more or less).
Ebay was glad to take porn dollars when they were a new struggling company. Now that they are a big success, and the founder is worth $2.5 billion (his actual worth), they want to get rid of all that awful porn.
Is it a coincidence they get rid of all the porn this week, the same week the Disney Corporation is sponsoring many auctions of rare disney items? Didn't Disney do the same thing to New York City last year?
Dirty Dan writes on RAME: Was not a moral decision on their part, was bowing to the threat of a class action verses making the adult area searchable to adult companies and stop shielding pirates.
This was done as adult copyright owners have been on them about not being able to search and detect piracy. Our company found 8000 pirated videos in 45 days, often offered in 100 lot batches. It was estimated that 99% of all videos on Ebay were pirated and they had caught the attention of all the adult companies who were sending cease and desist letters like letter bombs to their copyright abuse depts. The pirates would reincarnate and be back with a new nym in 24 hours when they canceled the accounts.
Ebay was in no way under control of their adult areas!
Also was stuff like Tracy Lords and all sorts of unlawful items showing up from all the dumbasses there with a Go Video trying to make a buck with no regard to the law. (anyone questions this i saved some of the auctions running in text as i wondered what Ebays rep would be if the fact one idiot sold Tracy Lords films there by the hundreds and was never shut down for a month) Started to post this to the Tracy thread here last month to show no one seemed to care and he advertised it as illegal first release Tracy Lords.... just amazing!
Thus pressure was coming in the form of a class action lawsuit from adult companies frustrated at the non-searchable database. Was collectively alot of time and expense to police, and they were profiting from sheilding the pirates. The bootleg videogame decision left them liable.. and there was no way they felt they could make this searchable without some grandmother getting ~cum guzzling lesbian teenage hookers~ in a search and dropping some granny dead, and the intent was containment of adult materials. The legal there kept flipping out at things they were missing and were being offered that were being spotted and discussed with them, and seems no one at the company liked doing the police work and the area became to anarchy.
Thus because of all the silly assed pirates and unlawful activity, and so much pressure from so many.. they pulled the plug rather than open up the search features, or risk the lawsuit and their dirty secrets being exposed such as was mentioned above. They handed the business to Yahoo as they were not making enough profit to justify all the hassles it involved to fix all the problems and police it as it needed to be.
If you looked in Ebay since they required credit cards to access... prices and bidding bottomed out in the adult areas, and was mostly the unlawful go video idiots selling stuff cheap pirated tapes and no real money was being made and the legal and infringement issues were obvious as was just someone selling copies at $7 each and shipping for $5 at the expense of the legit copyright owners.
Now is Yahoos headache to deal with and they been kissing up to all the adult posters for the last month and trying to make a system that works with the copyright owners. (wish them luck as they will need it with the idiot factor)
AdultPressService.com reports: The world's largest Internet auction site eBay stunned the international adult entertainment community today with the shocking announcement that they would no longer allow most XXX auctions, and were giving all of its carnal-content auctioneers and bidders a month to basically pack up their sex sales and leave their cyberspace--forever. Collectors, traders, and sellers of such arcane X-rated items ranging from adult videos and men's magazines to worn panties and explicit photos of porn stars were notified that auctions of such wares--defined by the company's announcement as anything they deemed "sexually explicit or graphic"--would be permenantly banned from eBay as of November 21.
eBay gave no reason in an announcement posted on their web site for the sudden decision to rid themselves of the "Adults Only" section of their massive site, which is reported to gross $140 million annually, but online insiders have long speculated that eBay's concerns about their "public image" would eventually cause them to dump their X-rated auctions. While profitable, eBay's X-division only represents a small fraction of their yearly $2.8 billion gross income, and its loss is not expected to materially affect the site's financial picture.
While eBay's on-line announcement immediately ignited a wave of panic amongst the site's thousands of adult-oriented sellers and millions of X-bidders, the immediate beneficiary of this startling development will apparently be the Internet's largest adults-only auction site, www.EroticBid.com.
Upstart EroticBid gained worldwide notoriety this summer when it launched and announced it was selling slices of human labia that were surgically removed from porn actress Houston.
Why Are Porn Viewers Such Morons?
Pat Riley writes: Why is it that porn viewers are such morons? I refer to your writer Chookles on the question of the prices of mainstream versus porn videos.
The original posting from Sharisa Mitchell posited that when (and she referred to the movie by name) Mission Impossible #2 appeared on video "you'll probably be able to buy it for $14.99 or so but when Rocco, or whoever in the porn world has a new movie out it's always $25 to $35 dollars." Note that she mentions "Rocco" by name and she talks about a NEW movie as MI #2 apparently is too.
I proceeded to ascertain from amazon that the cost of MI #2 is $110.99 and the price of a NEW Rocco movie from Jaded is $23.00 clearly showing that her premise is wrong. It's WRONG! The new mainstream movie costs nearly five times as much as Rocco's recent release.
Then this cretin Chookles arises from his slime pit and says that he disagrees. Yikes! How can he disagree? Did I make a mistake copying the numbers from Amazon or Jaded? Did I choose some bizarre ultra-expensive mainstream movie versus an ultra-cheap porno movie? No, I took the examples offered by the original poster who, because she didn't do the necessary research, finds herself hung by her own petard.
Chookles continues this trend of laziness by giving an emotional (the only way I can account for it) and unsupported assertion that "porn video prices are in general much higher." I say they're not but I'm always willing to be corrected with some fact-based analysis such as taking (say) the "A" mainstream videos first released in October and the "A" porn releases in the same period of time and comparing them on one-by-one basis. Amazon for mainstream and Jaded for porn are two competitively-priced sites.
What's really happening is that the people concerned are comparing apples and oranges. Typically "A" mainstream movies are released for the rental stores are very high prices (e.g. $110 for MI#2) and after six months or so will drop to a sell-thru price of maybe $14.99. Much of porn does the same when it drops to catalog price and will sell for a similar or lower amount. If you compare a six-month-old mainstream title to a recent release porn movie then sometimes you will notice a higher porn price.
Further, retailing of porn is just as sleazy and dishonest as the rest of the industry's activities. If you check out the manufacturer's web pages (where they sell directly to the public) or the fan club sites you'll see them trying to rape you with a price that will frequently be two or even three times the price of a high-volume retailer such as Jaded.
BTW, there are always exceptions: Some "B" mainstream movies (MI #2 is not one of these) will be released directly to video at a sell-thru price. Conversely some arthouse movies never drop below their original (about $100) price. Similarly in porn, Evil Angel and Elegant Angel never drop their price to "catalog" so in the example above the $23 will likely remain at $23 for the foreseeable future.
Chookles responds: Although I was attempted to make a wise crack to the extent of "If porn viewers are morons, Pat Riley must be the biggest moron of all". But I won't. Oops too late. This is the problem with so many people on the web. Where in my message did I have a personal attack? You want emotional? Pat completely freaked out! A simple argument (used in the 'debate' sense of the term) turned into ridiculous name calling.
That aside, I will stand corrected and revise my position to be that porn titles are in general comparable to mainstream titles. However, as a consumer with a money draining thirst for the newest (adult and otherwise) stuff on the market, my experience has been that I always pay more for an adult title than I do for a mainstream one. Something I have no problem because, hey, porners have to make a living too, right?
I would argue that it is Pat Riley who is comparing apples to oranges. The rental price for MI2 is currently $110, that is correct. But that is exactly what it is, it is a rental price. According to Paramount's site, the movie is not yet available. When it is officially released to the consumer public on Nov 7th, the MSRP will be $29.99. At some online retailers, you'll be able to pick it up for $16.99 or so, but probably more in the neighborhood $25 at your local retailer or other online retailer. $110 is simply a price that is not being correctly used by Pat Riley. If we're talking about rental prices, and not sell through prices, then of course, mainstream titles will always cost $100+. But that is not the intended price for the consumer.
Taking a look at porn, the Rocco movies to be released in the near future (Cocktales) have an MSRP of $44.95, but they can be picked up for $17.95. But probably more like $29.99 at most online retailers and a little more at your local smut shack.
Lowest prices of $16.99 for mainstream and $17.95 for porn. Thus I revise my position and say that prices are comparable.
This will most likely to continue with Pat Riley writing in to get the last word, so I'll say right now, it's his. I won't be writing again as I feel Pat's argument is correct using the (in my opinion) incorrect pricing, so it's pointless to continue.
Pat Riley responds: I see that Chookles is not just an irritant, he's one of these slimy types that you have difficulty grasping. Like a frog, he just slips through one's fingers, changes the subject, adds irrelevancies, and simply won't stand still to take the final body blow.
No Chookles, I'm not mixing apples and oranges in comparing MI #2 at $110.99 with a recent release of a Rocco movie. While you're correct that $110.99 is a price intended for a rental store as I pointed out before you, it's the price anyone will have to pay to get the movie starting with its release on November 7, 2000. Do you think that amazon, from where I obtained the price, are going to ask if you're a rental store or an individual before selling it to you? If you want it on Nov 7 or for the next six or so months be prepared to pay $110.99.
Rocco's Cocktales #9, which you mention, was released on October 4, 2000 and is listed by Jaded at $17.95 and will almost certainly be $17.95 for the next six months.
New release mainstream / new release porn. Comparable.
Amazon = low cost retailer of non-porn movies.
Jaded = low-cost retailer of porn movies. Comparable.
Let me rephrase your original posting: Instead of saying in your first posting that the original poster's premise was correct and that I was wrong you should have said: "Sharisa chose a really unfortunate example with MI #2. This is a brand new release priced for the rental market and is going to command a price that is four or five times higher than any normal porn first release. Mainstream is much more expensive in the first few months of its release on video. However, if you examine releases that are a year or more old [such as ...], you'll find that very often porn and mainstream converge to approximately the same price presuming one buys from similar types of retailers. [the conclusion you seem to have now reached]."
That way you avoid presenting yourself as a direct threat, I don't get emotional, and we all live happily ever after.
Edew writes on RAME: Three possible answers [to porn's higher price]:
1. Because "adult" still carries an added value manifested in the price. An "adult" drink (e.g., alcohol) is more expensive than kiddie (soda pop) drink.
2. Because MI:2 made millions of copies of VHS tapes while even a Vivid would make maybe 10K copies. Economies of scale would suggest that per-tape cost for 10K copies will be somewhat higher than for 10,000K copies. There are other distribution channels factors which help supress the cost for an MI:2 tape, while the adult channels are pretty much controlled by a few who can charge up the wazoo.
3. There are many ways for Paramount (or whatever studio which produced MI:2) to recoup their cost: the initial run of the movie, secondary runs of the movie at second-run movie houses, licensing tie-ins, video purchase AND video rentals (there are probably more Blockbusters all around the nation than adult-only video stores), HBO rebroadcasts, network broadcasts, foreign showings, etc.
Most porn videos go directly to stores for rental only. Very few (maybe 5K?) are bought by the end-user consumer. There might be some distribution to hotels, but certainly not for videos such as Gang Bang Girls #14 or so. No Max Hardcore video will ever see the blue glow of a hotel room screen, unless some couple decided to sneak a VCR in with then when renting out a room.
MarMac writes on RAME: First of all, there are millions of copies of Mission Impossible 2 that will be sold, while there will only be a few thousand of a porn video sold. While the production costs are much lower, so is the potential market and thereby, the profits. Also, a porn video has a much shorter "shelf life" than a mainstream video. There is so much new stuff coming out, that they have to make their money quickly before the "hot" video this year is relegated to the $5 bin at the vid store. In this case, it is the local merchant as opposed to the production company that is the reason. Case in point, I just bought 10 copies of the Vince Neil/Janine video for $3 apiece at my local store. He had about a hundred copies stacked up in a bin trying to get rid of them, with little luck I might add. Hell, I remember about 16 months ago that tape was going for $59.95 and they couldn't keep them in stock. I refuse to pay $30 or $40 for a tape. I just wait about six months or so until it comes down to $10 or so.
Baron writes on RAME: Porn costs more for several reasons: Legal; Most mainstream movies have no chance of ever being accused of "obscenity". Economy of scale; most mainstream movies sell tens of thousands of copies, while a very successful porno might sell 5000+ copies. Because they can; the price for anything must meet two conditions, be profitable (to keep the business going) and be one that the consumer is willing to pay.
Gangbangs As Rape Fantasy
MarMac writes on RAME: Does anyone think, as I do, that the reason some of us like to watch a gangbang video is because it depicts LESS tenderness and affection and more control on the man's part and there may be a little demon inside of us that has a secret fantasy about raping a woman? Most gangbangs certainly don't depict the woman as having a genuine enjoyable time and just being jostled about and used like a "f---toy" (to quote the inimitable Max). Just curious!
Pat Riley responds: Yes, I think you're absolutely correct. The problem is that you're not really controlling the female and given the poor acting/set-up by the industry all you see is a girl well insulated or self-shielded from what's happening to her. The fear, horror, and agony needs to be far better acted but as long as the average viewer accepts the perfunctory effort the industry makes, we're not likely to see a change.
Here are some highlights from Quasarmanrants.com, the site of Metro Home Video shooter Quasarman (who's about to leave for Mexico for a week of shooting sex). I think this guy has a degree in English literature and at one time in his life wanted to write real movies:
Randy Kaplan [former AVNer Rich C. Leather] writes [Qausarman]: "The truly subhuman psychotic slug Luke F-rd "a nice enough guy" and "an affable Australian"? The poisonous egotist Mike South "a decent guy indeed"? What's next? You going to Mexico to give Scott Stein a blowjob? I'm tellin' ya, Mike, you need to dive into a tequila bottle for the duration and kill some of those rogue brain cells that are causing this vomitous outbreak of niceness, especially to two of the most execrable characters in porn..."
Quasarman replies: It may be that I am assuming the calculated demeanor of a politician on this one. Yes, I would love to inherit Gene Ross.com but launching into personal attacks against my opponents may cause me to look exactly as Al Gore looks at the moment; bitter and desperate. Describing Ford as both affable and nice does not mean that I endorse anything about him. He IS affable and nice. I'm told Osama Bin Laden is as well.
According to the late night ramblings on his website, Luke F-rd is having something of an identity crisis. Not surprising considering the many contradictions in his life. He attemps to embrace yet destroy the adult industry. It reminds me of a story written by Kahlil Gibran in which a priest finds the devil as he lay dying and begging for help.
...As much as he [Ford] despises us all he has no reason for being without us and as most pontificators of morality usually are, he is quite jealous. As for Ford's experience with panic attacks which he also speaks of, with this I can empathize. I have suffered from them for most of my life and have learned that they usually occur when one is at a crossroads of some kind or is subconciously fighting against something. The only way to win against them is to drastically alter your course or to accept the reality that is your life (or to ignore these things all together and get a Zoloft prescription) Ford is presently soliciting uplifting slogans to place beside the computer in the hopes of clarifying his place in the world. I would like to pass along to Luke a particular catch phrase which I coined and which has brought me great peace over the years; Life is Short.....thank God. (QuasarmanRants.com)
Luke F-rd Live
Listen here to Tuesday's show.
It was my biggest show yet, with RB of MaxCash phoning in to discuss this weekend's CEN controversy. We had over 200 listeners to the live show and about 70 persons in the Albumside.com chatroom.
I learned on tonight's show that my former boss Craig Vasiloff, who came up with Fantastic and XXXGen magazines, has now found a financial partner (RB of MaxCash, KarasXXX.com) for his latest venture, Razormagazine.com.
RB writes: Luke, Just wanted to clarify that I am more than just a financial partner in Razor Magazine (www.razormagazine.com). Razor (Razor Media, LLC) is 80% owned by RJB Publishing, LLC. As for the magazine itself, Craig is Editor in Chief and I am the Publisher. Final decisions on all content, etc, rests with us. The first issue has taken off. The response has been phenomenal. Shoot me a mailing address and I'll send you a copy. As you already know, Craig is a great guy and a savvy businessman...Couldn't ask for a better partner for this venture. Good show last night.
JMT writes: Is "Lee Noga" [Luke's co-host] supposed to be some kind of witty double entendre like "Ben Dover" or "Hugh G. Rection" or something? I don't get it.
Cybernet Expo owner Fay Sharp writes: I do not have a crush on RB - everyone got that straight? OK? I do respect the way he runs his business. That is worth much more than a 'crush - case closed forever..OK?
Rumdar writes: Luke.. I listened to a lot of your show this morning. Less hassles and much faster since I had Roadrunner installed. The most entertaining part that I heard was that character [director James DiGiorgio] who was questioning Lee about her stint in the Navy. He was a riot. Yet she cut him off and said something like "That was bad, this show is for webmasters" Then some boring f--- from England droned on for a while. If the show is for webmaster that is why there are only 200 people listening. You need to get a sidekick like the guy she cut off. Then you are gonna have a lot of listeners cuz he was a riot. It pissed me off that she cut him loose just as he was making you squirm with the handcuff thing. Team up with that guy. That Lee woman is a detriment. Oh! Yeah! What was that buzzing noise? Was she shaving her face with an electric razor or zorching herself in front of you?
Hey, We all love $$$. Of course I understand. Being from the East coast I was doubled over listening to DiGiorgio. Very funny dude. Cater to whoever you have to but please have him on again. He is the Don Rickels of porn. And don't let her cut him off. He was on a roll.
Helpful writes Luke: If you are bored why not get a cheesy web cam? You could have a lot of fun with the site with it. I got my cheapy at Best Buy. $19.99 after rebate. Do it!
Pimpline
Somebody stole Chaim's idea for pimpline.com! Click here: BBspot - Priceline Offers Name Your Own Price Prostitutes
Luke Vomits
We're in the middle of Sukkot, a festival of joy in the Jewish calendar. While the past five weeks have been a time of moderate illness for me (a relapse of my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), the last three days have been a time of unadulterated agony. Saturday night I came down with a violent case of the shakes which climaxed Sunday night with my repeatedly retching into the toilet.
I usually experience severe illness in overwhelmingly moral terms. I see my character in a stark way. I severely regret certain misdeeds, particularly certain inflammatory writings. I remember coming out of my surgery for a broken wrist in April of 1998 and experiencing what some have called a panic attack. I could not wait to regain control of my hands so I could erase certain provocative statements on my site about blacks and intelligence.
The past few days, I've again seen my character in bleak terms. I do not fit in anywhere - not in porn, not in journalism, not in Australia nor Los Angeles, not in Orthodox, nor Conservative nor Reform Judaism. I will never fit in anywhere, have the sure sense that I belong, until I change my moral character. I must fundamentally remake the way I think, speak and behave along the lines of traditional principles of integrity.
For instance, under pressure, I feel a strong temptation to lie. If I could only live in truth, I would save myself from most of my ethical lapses.
I've been attending a new Orthodox synagogue, and on Saturday, I met some new acquaintances at the shul. One invited me to his beautiful home for a Sukkot dinner Saturday night. It was grand. But would these people who I yearn to fit in with still talk to me if they knew about LF.com?
I've decided to write up some sayings and post them above my computer (in the hopes that deed helps inscribe them on my heart). Feel free to Email Luke with suggested moral sayings he should post on his wall (next to the Shay Sweet poster):
* Live in truth.
* Don't lie.
* God sees all.
Darklady writes: Why is it that I have so little trouble avoiding lies? I'm a godless woman and have no love of "traditional principles of integrity" although I consider myself to be a highly ethical person.
For me, I found that the more I looked at "traditional principles of integrity" (whatever that means -- I'm applying it to the concept of mainstream religion) the less I felt they had to do with integrity. One of the things I love so much about working with the sex industry and writing about sexuality issues is that sex is SO HONEST. It demands that we be honest on some level, too. And that honesty is what so many mainstream religions live in fear of. I don't always find that I like what I see when I'm dealing with sexuality or the industry, but it's not my job or my right to *like* everything -- it's my job and my responsibilty to gain greater understanding, enlightenment and compassion.
It's good that Luke is taking personal inventory, however. It's a painful experience regardless of our personal history. It's difficult to look at the mirror of our soul and find the sticky hard-to-clean spots. But we can only live life moving forward and glancing in the rear view mirror -- so there's no point in allowing regret to drag us down. The best thing we can do, IMO, is acknowledge where we goofed, make sincere amends if possible and make cognative changes in ourselves that will make us able to avoid goofs. I pride myself on the fact I rarely make the same mistake twice. There are so many new mistakes to make that I never need to repeat the same one!
Rumdar writes: Luke..Have you ever considered moving to Frogtown? (St. Paul, MN)
Will Emero II writes: Hi Luke - Here's three rules to live by - they work for me, and I live without the 'benefit' of religion -
1) Never fail to exploit an opportunity to do good for yourself or others
2) Never intentionally hurt, or attempt to hurt, anyone
3) Always make the most of the time you have
That's my 'religion', I prefer philosophy, but to each their own.
Ari suggests: "Live your life so that if somebody says something unkind about you, nobody will believe it."
Albion writes Luke: find a good therapist- truly invaluable in helping to find oneself (a particularly long and poignant process). Also, one reaches a point where religion can not help, is of little consequence. To quote Hal Holbrook in 'Wall Street', " when one stares into the abyss, he finds his true character and redemption".
JMT writes: Put this on your wall. "STOP YOUR KVETCHING [complaining] ALREADY!"
Xtrovert writes: Dear Tormented Luke, Here are some moral codes for ya:
1) Follow the Golden Rule
2) Cease to do evil
3) Endeavour to do good
Delve writes: I'm still not sure what your goal is with your website, but I do know that it is damn entertaining. With pictures from porn parties and links to adult web sites to inquiry on your own morality and God, there is nothing like l-keford.com on the web, or anywhere. As an independent filmmaker, I was curious what it would be like to try and make an "artistic porn movie"; to be one of those people thinking he will change the porn industry for the better. Now I don't know what to think about it.
For a moral saying to contribute, the only thing I can come up with is from a quote that Nelson Mandela quoted...and I do not know the original author...and summed up it goes something like this: "By letting yourself shine, you tell others they have permission to shine too."
Fran writes: Luke, you are opening, softening, rebuilding from the inside out....there is a vitality and a life force about you that can never be diminished, only channeled into a more beautiful celebration of life. Try to slow down, embrace small joys in this time of diminished energy, a cup of hot tea, the beautiful autumn colors, children kicking leaves, a scripture well-read...be kind to yourself. All we have is the moment, really that's it, so don't waste much time mediating on the evil Luke you were before....make amends and move on...even God can't change the past. Life is wonderful!! I want to come hang out with you sometime soon...you are such a precious lost little spirit, so full of s--- and so wonderfully complex...it's all going to be fine babe...I'm sure of it.
Chaim Amalek writes Luke: I'll bet if you returned to your roots and adopted a nice Christian posture, you would be welcome as a man who fought the devil and learned to tell the tale. Hot young shiksas would be at your feet eager to marry you, and you would get to drive on Saturday without any sense of guilt. No more tzitzis, no more high maintenance princesses.
Luke's Daily Affirmation
God, grant me the serenity to accept that I am not Gene Ross
The courage to behave like Gene when I can
And the wisdom to know when to transition into professional wrestling.
Amen.
Luke F-rd Suffers For Your Sins
Kevin Moore (of Stunningcurves.com) writes GeneRoss.com: "I felt it necessary to mention that I feel my site and Luke's are 100% different."
Rumdar responds: "Kevin... I see that you are turning a bright shade of green (as in envy) due to Luke's recent write up in Wired. Why do you feel it necessary to point out that the worthless drivel you write is different from Luke's? Anyone who has read your column knows you are an industry suck ass. You have about as much validity as any other paid hack. There is nothing of interest at all in the drek you publish other than to sell videos for the shysters who employ you. If you had half a brain you would realize that l-keford.com readers are of a higher intellect than the average raincoater. Sure, Lukers like to exercise their right (or left) hands, but there is more, much more. Luke-ites are working and thinking overtime to find a solution to the crisis in the Middle East. They are also concerned with the dehumanizing practice of prostitution in St. Paul, Minn. And there are the spiritually uplifting daily messages from Jack Chick. I could go on but perhaps you get the point. You are not even in the same league with Luke or his fans. If Luke does manage to sell out and replace Gene Ross, don't even consider attempting to become the next Luke F-rd. You ain't got it. Shalom."
Kevin responds to Rumdar: I employ myself. No one employs me. The only ties to this industry are the ones I have built. You basically have said what exactly I can't stand in Luke's site in your own tongue and check way. Religion, the Middle East, Jack Chick etc.
Luke will not be replacing Gene. That I know for sure. Your entitled to your opinion, but you are not the audience I am reaching. I even said that in my letter.
Luke's audience and my audience are not the same. I have no interest in people who want to force feed religion down people's throats and are very sexually repressed. The great thing about this is in the end you have choice. If you don't like Porn then don't read my site. It is that simple.
Rumdar writes Luke: Luke, I felt guilty about the negative comments I made about Kevin. A guy I have never met and who seems to be a jolly good fellow. So I sent this E. I am not going to say anything bad about anybody (with the possible exception of Bush Jr.) til after Christmas. Sorry Kev.
Rumdar responds to Kevin: Take it easy bro. Most of the shtick I write is for humor. I read something and immediately react. Actually I like porn. But I am very selective. The Max type stuff turns me off. I like Asian porn cuz I love Asian woman. I like to watch Asian porn with Asian woman (if they are into it)..I love the porn from Japan where some Japanese nerd (with thick black rimmed glasses) in a white lab coat is easing some elaborate sex toy into an Asian orifice and mumbling in Jap-speak. They treat it like a scientific experiment. And watching those guys screw with their pencil dicks makes me feel like Won Hung Dude. I realize Luke is not for everyone. His readers are fiercely loyal though. Probably because we are as neurotic as he is. If you don't immediately get it you will never understand. The entire site is one big joke. I am not sure Luke himself is aware of how good he is. Or how funny. If I have any valid criticism about you and guys who write like you it is that you only bring up the positive aspects of the industry (whatever they are). You never mention the lost souls who are exploited and dumped. But that is your choice...Like you said, if you don't like it don't read. Keep on keeping on and thanks for getting back to me. It was totally unexpected.
Luke writes Rumdar: You are so right... I am only dimly aware of what the dynamic is that keeps the site working...i go by feel...rather than Columbia School of Journalism.
Kevin writes Rumdar: Rum, I figured you were just joking and took it as such. But I just wanted to voice somewhat my own opinion. I agree completely about Max and I also love Asian women. And your completely right, I don't write about the negative effects of the porn or sex industry. I probably never will, because that's not why I do this. Mainstream media covers the negative effects very well and that's why they tend to go to Luke, because he is very good at talking about that side of things. I just wanted to point out a different opinion to the writers at Wired.
Rumdar sighs: I feel much better that I have been forgiven. It is like Jack Chick himself absolved me from my sin. I may not say anything negative about anyone until March 1st 2001. Thanks Kev.
I felt really bad. Like I had kicked a dog. I think you know the feeling. I don't think you could replace Gene because you can't write like a Gene..or a Kevin. The dynamic you speak of is what makes your fans so loyal and the column so interesting to your crackpot readers...
That Old Devil
He was once a beloved servant of God. Then he rebelled against the Lord and was cast into the garden of sin. He continues his despicable acts to this day causing heart ache and misery wherever he goes. No, not Luke F-rd! Satan! Read today's Chick Tract and learn. Click here: That Old Devil
Gorgeous George
Shaggy writes: The original Gorgeous George was a male who wrestled professionally during the 1950's. A narcissistic "pretty boy", the character played off the audience's homophobia. Following his retirement, the original Gorgeous George (who had trade marked the moniker) licensed the name to another wrestler. After a brief second run, the name remained dormant until 1998. At that time, WCW (Ted Turner's wrestling group) bought the name for a male wrestler. The newest male George failed to develop and the rights were turned over to then WCW wrestler Randy Poffo (aka Randy Savage). Savage used the name for ex stripper / girlfriend / valet Ms. Bellers. The female George was a plasticized bimbo who did little more than stand around the ring in skimpy outfits. About a year later, Savage was released from WCW. He and Bellers parted ways shortly thereafter.
Zoe Thanks Her Fans
Hello everybody it's me Zoë! I wanted to take a minute to thank all of you that HONESTLY supported me on the AIDS Walk LA charity I sponsored. My team and I worked as hard and diligently as time allowed us, to get the industry to stand up for themselves and show the world what we really could do! As it turned out there were very few that REALLY came up to bat and as for the rest - well you know who YOU are! However, we raised a good amount of money to help these poor people and I'm very proud for our efforts.
I talked my Manager into walking with me and we arrived early at Paramount Pictures along with the other twenty-nine some odd THOUSAND people that walked on Sunday. Jamie Lee Curtis and Gillian Anderson along with a few others began the ceremony with some speeches, free bottled water, yogurt and nutrition bars. Then they opened the gates and it was much like the Running of the Bulls through Paramount studios. It was a great day for the walk with a lot of energy and enthusiasm. And yes - there were fans there that asked for pictures as well as a few critics - but not a whole lot was said. All in all it was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed myself. The 6.2 miles wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have to try DESPERATELY to find a restroom for a quick pit stop or drag my Manager the last 1.3 miles to the Completion Arch to get our stickers and the port-a-potty.
Thank you again to all the fans who really proved their stuff and the media for making more folks aware of this problem that still hasn't been solved. See you NEXT year!! People can donate all year round at www.aidswalkla.com on my behalf!
Comeback Pig
Rob writes on RAME: One particular pig was getting all the beasty work in Denmark in the 70's. That pig unfortunately fell under the spell of a particularly abusive suit case pimp and wound up penniless, crack addicted, and living on the streets of Amsterdam. Sad. The pig is currently rumored to be staging a bukkake come back with Metro.
Israel's Future
John writes: Amalek is on to something in saying that Israel will eventually become a majority Arab state. Israeli jews, like most affluent secular populations, are aborting themselves out of existence. Arab Israelis, on the other hand, are multiplying rapidly due to the fact that they do not kill their children. And it's not Jewishness that's causing the high abortion rate among jews, it is, rather, a lack of Jewishness. An orthodox Jew woman would be as unlikely to abort her baby as would a devout Muslim woman. The problem is that there aren't enough religiously Jewish women in the modern, secular Israel!
Time, therefore, is against Israel. It's internal Arab population continues to enlarge relative to it's Jewish population (in fact, Israel's elections are already being thrown in pro-Palestinian directions because of the large and growing Arab Israeli vote). So, ironically, the greatest strategic threat to the existence of the state of Israel as we know it isn't the ceding of the West Bank or the Golan, it is the abortion culture of Israel itself. And neither Baal nor Jezebel could take any greater pleasure in Israel's return to the destruction ensuring practices of spilling innocent blood.