Friday, September 22nd, 2000

Kid Vegas - I Am The Role Model Bitch

Kid Vegas writes: This is out to the hardcore fans who like to comment on their King. Kid Curious, you are a 2 sided peice of s---, or is this Devon Saphire, one of these has to be him. Anyway why are all these jealous kids trying to clone me? You & Kid Ace need to reveal your real names if you wish for me to destroy you on the internet because you are not in my industry, unless you are looking to not ruin your image by taking me on, cause this is my world, & you can see that at www.KidVegasWorld.com . Transform yourselves all you want. If I was such a joke little low-lifes, answer this. Why am I in over 50 publications since January, & on the cover just last month of one of the industries leading publications, AVN? Step down chumps, I have acomplished more than half you f---ing morons have in less than a year. Look at all these little fags stepping up to talk s--- about me with all these fake names, all I have to say is f--- you & your bitch, oh yeah I probably f---ed her if she lives in California. Bow b-4 me, these flix you see of me on Luke's site are me with hot whores, I do not see any of you little faggots on there, you big pimps.

I know that most of these girls in the industry rather work with me than some dirty ass dude that does old ladies, & fat people to pay their bills, like Dave Hardman, Tony Eveready, Damien Michaels, the list is long. I do not need to f--- that much, & I choose who I want to f---, most of the time the girls want to f--- me off camera before anyway, unlike half of these idiot desperate chumps who claim to be PornStars. I am a PornStar & a Director/Producer, so f--- You! I know I look better than half these idiots who are all in there 30's & 40's, if it wasn't for porn they would never get laid, viagra taking bitches. I have not sued anyone either learn how to read you retarded ass cocksucker. Stick to your old world style crap porn your use to & put that EMINEM alblum down cause he is just like me but a different industry. If you did follow me a little closer or knew me I would have to change my pager number assholes, cause if you ask anyone who knows me, they know I am cool. This Brian Douchebag f---, you are a pussy ass bitch, & a lama riding bus driver who sucks big cock, go stuff that gob. Stay on your MTA strike & go broke you basehead! f--- all you losers who have something negative to say about me, especially the nobodys that I am responding too, & the only reason why is because I am bored today you smucks! Who has an AVN award bitch? Who is on the cover of the AVN last month? Yeah thats right bitch suck it hard you jealous little boys. As far as EMINEM goes he's the man, but my hair was like that way before he was popular, if you follow any kind of news, mainstream & adult industry...Watch my movies & listen to his music, two seperate industries, music videos & awards are just as new as Adult Video, if I remember right, Adult Video came out before MTV. My videos came out b-4 him getting famous, so bow bitch, do more drugs, I will never overdose f---face !!!!!!!!!!

Brazilian Porn Star Aims To Sleep With 1000 Men

Porn star aims to sleep with 1,000 men A Brazilian porn actress is hoping to break a world record by having sex with 1,000 men in a month on Spanish TV. Her attempt is underway, but her exploits have led to a flood of phone calls from women who say they recognise their husbands - even though the men are wearing masks. Capital TV is broadcasting the four-hour programmes every night from midnight until 4am. Click here: Ananova - Porn star aims to sleep with 1,000 men

When Whores Attack

Nelson Ayala writes from Legend Video: When Whores Attack October 2000 While shooting Legend Video's major epic The Whore Is Not Enough, director Jerome Tanner was nearly killed when a complicated motorcycle stunt went awry. Tanner suffered second degree burns and a mild concussion. Doctors say the resilient old-school director will be fine. However, Tanner has now pulled out from the project and wants nothing to do with what he calls, "the most dangerous film ever lensed." We wish Jerry a speedy recovery.

Legend Video has hired controversial director Jim Powers (Perverted Stories, White Trash Whore) to replace Jerome Tanner. Powers' splendid use of aleatory techniques and his ability to surpass the classical paradigm of story tell- ing makes him the ideal and obvious choice to direct The Whore Is Not Enough. "As an artist, I appreciate the challenge this film presents. I think we're doing something really special here," says Powers. "This is without a doubt the most important film of my career."

Jim Powers first order of business on the set of The Whore Is Not Enough was not a pleasant one. Powers released actor Jerk Douglas from his contract due to creative differences. "I just don't feel Jerk Douglas captures the essence of being Jerk Douglas," explains Powers. "We don't see eye to eye, and, quite frankly, I think he's a jerk." Pom star extraordinaire, Dave Hardman will replace Jerk Douglas as Jerk Douglas in a move that has confused many, especially Jerk Douglas. "The Whore Is Not Enough is an emotionally charged story," says Powers. "It's about a man whose brother has been raped and whose dog has been burned. I need an actor who can convey a wide range of emotions. Dave Hardman is that man. Dave Hardman is Jerk Douglas."

Legend Video expresses its condolences to the family of beloved crew member "Grip" Johnson, who passed away while on the set of The Whore Is Not Enough. No further details are available at this time.

Like Martin Luther King Jr., JM's Jeff Steward had a dream. A dream of having a beautiful black whore get painted white with cum by a bunch of sick degenerates like you. The dream is realized in JM Productions' American Bukkake #10.

Porn whore Mocha makes history as the first African-American woman to participate in &n American Bukkake, "It's an honor and a great responsibility," says Mocha. "As an African- American role model, it's important for me to set a good example. When little shorties from da hood look up to me, I want them to see that it's possible to be both a good whore and a pillar of the community." JM Productions couldn't agree more. "It's important to promote unity," says Jeff Steward. "Power to the People!"

American Bukkake #10 is now available. Do the right thing. Get your copy today.

G. Classic whore Amber Lynn takes on big titty slut Taylor St. Claire in Pussyman's American Cocksucking Championship #7. The blow by blow gets under way with Amber Lynn taking hits in the kisser and loving it. It's no surprise Amber has such a strong legion of dedicated fans. "I'll be sucking cock till the day I die," says Amber. That could be tomorrow so catch Amber in the American Cocksucking Championship #7 now!

Felicia Fox

Mike South writes: This time around I am writing to say some really good things. Felicia Fox contacted me about six months ago about getting into the biz. She was careful and approached it wisely. I shot her first scene last week and I do not have one bad thing to say about her or her husband Tim. She did an awesome scene, she was on time, pleasant and professional. Her husband Tim was the perfect guy to have on the set he helped out whenever asked and often without being asked, he is bright and helpful and an all around good guy.

As you can see from the pics I attached Felicia is a stunningly pretty all natural girl and I am very lucky to have had this chance to work with her. I highly recommend her to anyone. Felicia would be the perfect contract girl for a company looking for an all natural stunning beauty that they will not have to baby sit to keep out of trouble. I want to publicly thank Tim and Felicia for a great job and for the trust that they placed in me , and I hope that they are as happy with how everything turned out as I am.

Victoria Paris Marries

Frank Simms writes on RAME: Victoria Paris was married on Monday, September 18,2000. The Maid of Honor was Christy Canyon and Christy also hosted the wedding at her house. Best wishes Vicky & husband for a long and happy life together!

Ribald Poet adds: I had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Paris years ago at a strip-joint and she came across as very sweet, very personable and very accommodating to all her fans... no bitchiness to be found! :) unlike say, Savannah, whom I saw at the same joint about 8 months before she biffed herself (Savannah actually caused a "scene" at this club... of course, she was probably all drugged up, it appeared that she was---- I'm certainly saddened that Savannah chose the route she did, however)

David writes: Victoria Paria for me represents a new porn era. She was one of the top performers when she did Sextectives--back then there was always that question of whether the performer would take the facial. I remember being shocked when she took that North monster facial, and came away thinking "Damn, if Victoria Paris is even doing them then they're all gonna do them." Fortunately, that's the way things turned out--the gratuitous anal that developed later along with the automatic facial was just a bonus.

Noel writes: I wonder how hubby can ever get Sean Michaels out of her head when he's pumping her.

Michael writes: At least she got boned by Sean Michaels rather than by that just off the slave boat and underground railroad looking Bryon Long. Any White man can live with that thought about his virginal wife.

Seeking Damien Michaels

MIG@cbsnews.com writes: Dear Mr. Ford: My name is Miguel Sancho and I am a producer for the CBS News program 48 Hours. A few years ago, when I was working at another program called Inside Edition, I met a gentlemen in the porn industry named Damien Michaels. I recently tried placing a call to Mr. Michaels, only to discover that the number I had for him no longer worked. I recall him at one point proudly mentioning that your site had reviewed some of his work. If you have any idea how to contact him, I would appreciate it tremendously.

New Wave Hookers 6

Patrick Riley writes on RAME: Ginger [Lynn]'s an old, worn-out has-been with a failed attempt at real movie making and an illegitimate child allegedly by one of the movie company heads in her history. She's a felon and an ex-con with the usual chip-on-her-shoulder that that sort of experience provokes. IOW she's screwed up her life royally. Such people either pull themselves together and get on with something they're well suited for, like waitressing, or blame others for their bad decisions. In this case the others are likely males in general.

It's a little unfair to slam a movie before you've seen it so I bumped some Legend movies that might have been erotic or at least amusing and moved NWH #6 up to the top of the pile.

As I anticipated the movie is in the wrong series. It should be Devil In Miss Jones #7 given the suicide and the voyage through purgatory theme and also as anticipated it's about as anti-male as they come. Only the straight B&D smothering and similar movies are more blatant and this one is going to get a much wider circulation.

The women are the usual past their prime lot. Ginger's showing more belly flab than in the other comeback movies especially doing cowgirl on Voodoo, and Tina, with her beady little eyes and inbuilt sneer, has been made up with the usual trowel adding a sort of unreal quality to her face. In her B&D scene she wears a corset but her belly still pushes out the bottom. Monique, Ryan, and Keki are just fodder and have no actual lines. Kylie seems to have taken off some weight but she's still hefty and Barrett is beefy and the epitome of trailer park trash.

******begin review

NEW WAVE HOOKERS #6 2000--VCA Producer/Director: Jim Malibu, Antonio Passolini Featuring: Ginger Lynn, Barrett Moore, Monique DeMone, Ryan Conner, Keki D'Aire, Tina Tyler, Kylie Ireland, Kyle Stone, Michael J. Cox, Mickey (Missy), Steve Hatcher, Sean Michaels, Pat Myne, Cheyne Blanc, Voodoo Child, Tice Bune, Bridgette Powerz, Napoleon, Chico Del Camarones, Gregory Biggles

If you loved {Thelma & Louise}, become sexually aroused over dominant women (Mommy?), like older women with younger males, or happen to be a slavering fan boy of one of the women in the movie you might like this. Most normal males will want to give it a wide berth and as for the raincoaters...oh, la, la! Despite the facials, any raincoater who stumbles onto this one by accident will need a heavy dose of Max and Anabolic to clear his mind.

Ginger runs Audrey's All-Girl Automotive the motto of which, as disclosed by the prominent sign on the wall, is "Sometimes it takes a woman to do a man's job." Oh, yeah, we know straight away where this one is going. According to the voice-over she has a crush on parts-delivery-guy Voodoo (about 15 years her junior) but he's more interested in Ginger's employee Kylie and, despite encouragement from another employee, Tina, Ginger lacks the assertiveness to take him away from her.

After Voodoo screws Kylie and then Kylie tells Ginger that she has a date with him, Ginger takes the easy way out and uses a car exhaust to commit suicide. She's transported to some sort of purgatory supposedly run by midgets Napoleon and Bridgette who you don't see until near the end and where her guide is Tina who keeps re-iterating, "It's hard to explain," when Ginger asks what it's all about. (I'll explain it easily: As with most pornos these days, a proper plot is too expensive so devices like dreams, other worlds or dimensions, and watching porno movies are cheap ways to put in the sex scenes without spending much money.)

The other dimension here is a brothel where Ginger is supposed to learn her lesson to become more aggressive and if she does (no criteria given) she'll be returned to her normal life. This sort of specialty treatment is accorded suicide cases but apparently not if you just die of old age. So Ginger either participates in or watches a series of sex acts accompanied by a running commentary of new age touchie-feelie bulls---.

Her first fantasy is the doctor's examination, carried out by Sean which of course leads to a screw. In contrast to real life (ask your girlfriend/wife) Tina assures Ginger that lots of women have this fantasy.

Then fellow whores, Keki, Ryan, and Monique hop into a child's wading pool and do a boring g/g. Doubtless another common fantasy of most women.

Ginger's turn again and this time she's a call girl for two Arabs from Kuwait played by Myne and Cheyne (credits: Cheyne Collins); she dances and then they share her including a double cuntal and a DP ending in cum shots on her butt and hemorrhoid-ridden asshole. No gaping, though.

Ginger and Tina watch a movie of behind-the-scenes at her technical training school where the guys (Tice, Kyle, Hatcher, and Cox) make fun of her in her absence and gang bang Barrett including the requisite DP's.

Next she's suspended in a "love sling" while Tina dominates her and Tina's slave Mickey, eventually leading to Tina screwing Mickey (just some in-out) before he's forced to screw Ginger.

After a little lecture by the "mechanical elves" Bridgette and Napoleon, Ginger is transported back to the real world at a point where she catches Voodoo about to screw Kylie. Instead of backing away as she did in the first iteration she tells Kylie to get lost and in a very dominant scene including her slapping him and telling him to shut up and riding him cowgirl and reverse cowgirl almost exclusively, Ginger screws Voodoo. At the end he gives her an in-mouth cum shot and she immediately kisses him, the intent being obviously to transfer the cum back to him.

To add to the new age idea that sex is just a physical release when, a few moments later in front of the other girls, he asks Ginger out she turns him down. Rejected, he turns away and, in another little bit of role reversal, Kylie runs after him asking for her ring back. I think {Initiations #4} deserves a re-viewing. All sex scenes use condoms and, except as noted, all end in facials. Date of production: 5/7/00.

***end review

Special note for voyager: The movie is orange-cast free, although there is a green filter applied to the Tina/Ginger/Mickey bondage scene. Barrett, who I've never thought of before as being a big-clit girl, while being analed by Hatcher, pulls the hood back and lets quite a sizable seemingly-erect one make an appearance. Unfortunately you have to deal with her not-exactly-prime-quality face and body and also Hatcher on whose butt the camera seems to spend an inordinate amount of time and who seems to be shaving his entire body these days.

I hate to say this but on the face of it (credits) Veronica Hart had nothing to do with the movie. I guess what happens is that, just as Evil Angel is unlikely to attract touchie-feelie directors such as PT, VCA attracts people who share the anti-male views of VH, in this case Passolini (the bastard grandson of Pier Paolo, no doubt). The story is credited to Ginger herself and I imagine she also would share VH's views.

Lovette's Bukkake Worthiness Debate

Aghast writes: Dear Bruce, I have missed you here on lukfeford.com. Welcome back! We last clashed on the Camp Erotica photos back in May. Well, as you must recall, I did eventually apologize to the Mondo Girls (KiKi, Maren, Ariel, and Rikki) for my harshness once some decent photos of the ladies were published.

I do not imagine, however, that I will be apologizing about my comments on the chunky Lovette bukkake anytime soon. Those photos showed a very thick woman that most porn fans would concede is not box cover material (pancake mix box cover maybe). I feel most Lovette fans will be as shocked and saddened as I was to see her physical decline. Sir, I respect your constitutional right to bust a nut on the face of any fat lady you chose, but for me and I dare say most of America, I'll pass on Lovette.

Bruce replies: Dear Aghast, f--- me, wouldnt you know it. I was prepared to respond with some flippant emark, but your gentlemanly (and nicely formatted) response has left me somewhat thwarted. Touche. How about I leave it with a personal request that you remember that these are real girls with real feelings.

[The sharp knife cuts quickest and hurts the less]

"and oft should be left in scabbard"

John Wayne as Rooster Cogburn

Kira Eggers - Page Three Girl

Curious writes: Luke, Denmark's sexiest web mistress, Kira Eggers, is up for "Page Three Girl of the Year." "Page Three Girls" are a regular feature of the British tabloid, The Sun. The paper has become an English institution by featuring daily topless photos of wholesome, girl next door types. Kira is one of the three gorgeous finalists for their calendar girl competition. I have to tell you that she has never looked sexier! Check Ms. Eggers out and don't forget to vote! Click here: Page3.com SEARCH FOR A STAR ps Do I sound like a total babbling idiot? I can't help it she is so damn cute! ;-)

Heather Barron's Dream Man - Luke?

Amused writes: By far my favorite site belongs to that wacky escort, Boston's own, Heather Barron. She's the thirty-two year old banking assistant who ditched her four kids and moved to Burbank to sell her vagina as an outcall prostitute and adult film starlet. She frequently updates her amateurish site with campy, unflattering photos of herself and then peppers it with her inane musings chock full of gross spelling and syntax errors.

In any case, I thought you'd enjoy this part of her updated FAQ section ... "What are your long range goals? " "That's simple. To be a working screenwriter. To marry a man who has absolutely no money and no life so he can tolerate the demands of my career and my sex drive and help me be all that I can be and focus his efforts on cock managment (sp) information systems."

Hear that Luke? "No money and no life" required. This is the shiksa for you! Give her a call. Click here: Fans Ask Questions

Heather Barron replies: Correcting Amused:

1. I am 31 not 32. Give me 'til November.

2. I was born and raised in NY. That hardly makes me a Bostonian. But I do go down at Filenes (now you know why they built a basement). Does that count?

3. The Barron children are now with their mother, as they should be. But they live in a separate palace. Mama's has a window display of cocks. Theirs, a window display of Pokeman. And somewhere between the 2 homes, there is tiny cottage with a cockless, childless room devoted to meditation where one can write about why people bother to judge someone they haven't even met.

4. I will correct my spelling errors prompty. But diapering 1 and chasing the other 3, writing 5 scripts, building a web site and taking care of the needs of the Valley leaves little time for editing. Gee, I'm glad my boyfriend isn't a single dad porn star wannabee with his own site or we'd have to hire Luke to edit us both. Now wouldn't that be every literary girls fantasy? Me licking a journalist atop an AP wire machine and an unemployed sexslave f---ing me from behind. Gee, I love my work.

5. Luke and I? Luke doesn't leave the house. From the looks of that site, he must be working from home. I don't see any banners on l-keford.com so maybe I'd venture to say that he's either making a killing selling beanie babies via ebay or that his cock is serving everyone I can't get to. HB

Spadge writes: I decided to check out this Heather Barron & her web-site after reading about her at your site. This very average looking skank needs to take a reality check. Reading her ramblings on her site, she would like to thaink that she is major league porn star. WRONG !. No ione I have asked has ever heard of her. She has tickets on herself as some artiste, a'la sex goddess, ex-corporate world success & future screenwriting sensation. Aside from anything else, this woman is nothing to look at. Bordering on ugly & I can't believe that she would ever get work in porno, unless it were to work with farmyard animals. Maybe a Bukkake facial drowning might make her pasty, white face look acceptable. Very ordinary body, flabby & soft. Freckly & chubby all over. I see she offers a call girl prostitute incall service for $250 an hour. I wonder if she gets many takers. Fancy boning this skank for that amount of cash when you can do the totally gorgeous XXX at $500 an hour . Rebecca is value for money ast those rates. Heather Barron is a shocker. ....

ps : heard anything about this so called orgy at the Sydney Olympics. Apparently two female members of the Australian swim team were caught in a village apartment with a group of fellow athletes (nation unknown) doing their their best impressions of being cock crazed & starved slutlets. Just a release I guess after years of training & abstinence probably.

Luke Gets Mail

Jack writes: Luke, can you get a live interview with stephanie swift on air. An update. I have found out through my source that Stephanie Swift will be attending her ten year class reunion and is going on saturday to her reunion in San diego. She will be accompanied by her 18- year old boyfriend that just graduated high school.

Fran writes: Patrick Riley wrote..."You could imagine the girl blindfolded or with a bag over her head--it's just a life support system for a warm hole. Not the most exciting circumstances although there's a certain erotic value in having enough power that your wife will take care of your needs to this extent."

What a warped view of women and power. It seems Patrick is simply a life support system for his dick, without love, passion, and human connection. Patrick's infantile fantasy of a beautiful woman reduced to a "life support system for a warm hole", offends me. No wonder you crave values Luke...a steady diet of this crap will rot your soul.

Frank writes: Another site I have followed is "Musings of the Gus" His former girlfriend works for Dr. Susan Block. I get the idea that Susan Block appeals to aging women in their thirties with "short fuses" who tend to overcompensate via sex and this wears thin after a while. Check the women's magazines and they are full of articles offering advice for these aging women on how to revive their man's interest in sex" Kind of makes you wonder.

X in Westwood writes Luke: How can you possibly sustain an interest in a religion with a lot more "no's" than "yes's" if you feel that way? The truth, for many of us, is that what judaism really needs is its own Martin Luther, someone who is willing to take the best of all of its strains and meld them into something new, a less tribally based faith too. What there is is but a fossile faith, forever dying where it cannot outbreed the competition. Honestly, I would go Christian if only I did not think that, theologically speaking, it was a pretty idiotic faith for me to think that merely believing in the divinity of Christ at the moment of my death could suffice to erase all of my sins, and that the lack of that faith dooms the otherwise saintly to eternal hell. And simply mimicking the gentiles (the Reform route), or pretending that you can have a religion based on such evanescent cultural artifacts as a preference for bagels, Woody Allen, and leftist politics does not cut it.

A certain porn star writes Luke: "My depression is going in fits and starts. Still working with childhood stuff, divorce, father's alcoholism, mother's abandonment ... it feels good to be progressing, but it is so goddamn slow."

Jack Chick - Enlightened One

Working tirelessly for nearly 30 years our dear Brother Chick has been bringing light into our darkened world. Today a helpless puppy, a stricken grandmother, a panicked child and eternal salvation all blend together in a classic Jack T. Chick Christian tract titled, Cleo. I think all of l-keford.com agrees: Enlightenment, thy name is Chick! Click here: Cleo

I Dreamed We Had Sex Last Night

Lynne L-patin writes: Dear Luke: It sneaked in while I was sleeping, dear. Twice. Here is what I can remember of the details. You had a loft office, cluttered and dusty, and XXX was visiting.

We were all sorta talking about YYY's files, and that XXX knew there were underage girls in the movies but that his father would kill you if you published something linking knowledge of that to XXX.

You were wearing a linen suit, only the colors were wrong...red linen with a black shirt. Actually you looked really good...perhaps pimp clothes flatter you in some regard. But you changed into Jew clothes with a cook's apron and headgear and shawl, only with a multicolored knitted ski headband as well, and then you looked really goofy, but I loved you and found you beautiful anyway.... You and XXX went out together, and I left, but didn't go anywhere, really, but the parking lot next to the building.

When you got back, we went upstairs and had sex on the desk. No kissing or talking, no visible genitalia, just penetration..... The next day you came over to my space. (This next episode seems to be taken from when I had sex with CCC last February, but it was definitely you).

We were on the floor, and became aroused. You showed me your penis. I was admiring its grandeur when I noticed what appeared to be a herpes sore at the base. I asked you, Is this not a herpes sore? and you said, Oh, yes, but you've been exposed before.... we had sex anyway, but with only shallow penetration...not using a condom, because a condom wouldn't have reached to cover the sore... Then I was talking with someone else about it after you left and he asked me...didn't you know what size condoms Luke uses? And I said, no I really didn't...we never really discussed the issue and had never really had sex before....

Goddess writes: Hey, Lynne, cut it out!! I dreamt I had sex with a gorgeous guy with whipcord thighs, but ya don't see me blastin' that all over Luke's page, do ya?! Some things ya just gotta keep private...