Wednesday, August 30th, 2000
Katja Kean Divorces, Retires
I reported a few weeks ago that Sin City contract girl Katja Kean was in the midst of great emotional turmoil and headed for retirement. Nothing's changed. She's in the middle of a messy divorce.
Overall, Sin City is a tranquil place. They've signed a Japanese contract girl Kamiko who can barely speak English and they will soon sign another contract girl.
Luke: Is Greg Lasrado of FilthyCash.com really leaving porno?
XXX writes: Hey he's got that site design thing going...owns about $30m worth of Real Estate and supposedly has a big stock investment portfolio. Whatever he decides to do he will still have got rich off porn. Somehow I doubt he really will get out....maybe publicaly but totaly get out?....no way. I'd say he will just become less visible.
Luke: I'll be interviewing Greg soon. Any questions I should ask him?
XXX: Ask him why he cancelled the deal to build the biggest flashest house in brisbane? after all he bought the land.
Ask him why he cancelled plans for the flash wedding.
Ask him does he ever feel like Alan bond :-)
Ask him if his offshore companies pay Australian tax :-)
Ask him about his relationship with Serge :-)
From Redsnake.com: FIDEL CASTRO SAID "CUBAN PROSTITUTES ARE THE cleanest and most beautiful on the planet." They are clean. Thanks to Fidel's Draconian health practice of sending anyone who tests positive for AIDS to a jail-like sanitorium, there are virtually no serious STDs on Cuba's streets. And they are beautiful. They're babes in fact.
When the cold war ended and the Soviet Union cut six billion a year from Cuba's economy, Fidel's citizens had to rely on vice to stay afloat. Only one store in forty is still open, and they all look like a Woolworth's on the final day of liquidation where all you can buy is booze. A solitary can of chopped pork sells for $4.30, while a full bottle of Havana Club Rum costs only $3. A bottle of the rough stuff, called chispa-tren ("train-sparks") can be had for a buck. After alcohol there are two more sources of income. Tobacco and sex. Tobacco's easy to sell and even really ugly prostitutes can bring in $50/ week (twice the income of her whole family). When doctors are making about $18 a month and police top the scales at $43, what else can a family do but get their daughters into a pair of hot pants and white boots?
Cuban whoring isn't the degrading enterprise you'll find at dusk in Tijuana nor is it the filthy, STD and pedophile paradise of SouthEast Asia. The sex trade isn't a source of national shame for Cubans because it works both ways. There's mustached ex-cons ogling young Cuban girls and there's jowly German divorcees ogling dark Cuban studs. The only difference is that there's slightly more females working than males and the European women tip worse.
Though prostitution has never been bigger, the government likes to pretend it's never been smaller.
Flashman writes on Redsnake.com: In April La Rampa was happening every night, except for one Sat. during a torrential downpour, when, interestingly enough, even the discos like Las Vegas were dead. Scored a really nice girl in Pargue Central, and a buddy scored on Obispo, both right in front of cops. Barrio Chino also up and coming. Girls a plenty on the street, but they're leery of cops. If you just want to sit back and let the action come to you, let a jintero bring you a girl, but expect to pay up to 60$ for the night (I had a Hefner blonde that way...but 60 is too much!)
Tequila writes: I've noticed that during the summer months things really heat up and I don't mean just the weather :) A lot of the university girls from the proviences take their "summer vacations" in Havana for fun and $$. Afterall, who wants to be in the boonies with nothing to do and no A/C.
Flashman writes: I agree with Tequila1. I was there last August and will be back this year. Many, many girls from the small towns in town for "vacation." Plus, lots of fiestas and fun in town. Girls from outside of Havana are generally sweeter, personality wise than the more jaded Havana girls. My best times have been with girls from La Isla.
StrikingViking writes: Castro periodically has crackdowns on various regions at various times with no rhyme or reason. You really need current info from someone reliable and even then, as you know the crack downs occur without warning, but usually don't last. Cien Fuegos was out standing last December. f---ed thirty broads in eight days, the oldest being 16. They start f---ing at 12 and turn pro at 14-15. They showed moves I've never seen. Have a partner living there who told me to bring a mountain bike when I come so I did. It was like scoring chicks on a motorcycle. We had a reliable Cuban boy who we gave $5 to for every chica we selected and he delivered to the house. We had no chance to approach chicas without the intro from Enrique. The girls we scored are best desribed as semi-pros, that is they only did it once in a great while and kept it a secret from friends. They know if their friends or policia see them talking to foreigners they will be labeled prostitutes. The policia take advantage of this with harrassment for sex and money. It is very brutal.
Also, the cool deal is to rent a house instead of hotel (casa de particular) about $20 per night and some halfway decent home cooked meals can be had. About $10 for shrimp or lobster etc. Most people who will rent you a house won't give you your own key, and when you return with chica they will unlock your place for you, but also will ask for her ID (carne) to record it for inspection later by authorities. Most chicas won't like going through that as they get a visit from the heat later demanding blow jobs etc. We f---ed ourselves silly, but ran into lots of guys who had been there a week and not got laid yet or only f---ed some old Havana rejects, you know chicas about 22 or 23. Lived in Thailand for two years about 12 years ago, the girls from the last trip to Cuba cast a shadow on the Thai babes for quality.
Ramon writes: I have been going to Cfgos for the last 3 yrs 4 times a yr. Last trip in April of this yr. You can join me in Toronto or I can meet you there. Here is the breakdown on cost. Legal taxis from airport to town $5. Private rooms in a legal casa with a/c, private w/r. frig, fan & double bed $15. Beer $.80, ½ bar b-q chicken dinner, 35 peso ($1 = 22 peso) and your choice of a girlfriend $10 to $15 per 24 hrs.(no limit on sex). We are talking g/f sex. If you can't make it and like to go another time let me know and I will give you a contact who speaks English and can pick you up at the airport and find you a room and the chicas. He doesn't take a commission on the rooms or chicas so up to you to tip him at the end of your trip depending on how useful he was. He wouldn't ask for anything but I usually buy him a beer and dinner and give him $10 & some old clothes when I leave. He can also arrange a private taxis $15 per day to take you into the countryside looking for 16 to 18 yrs old chica (old enough for sex but too young to leave home for the big city). Driver pays his own gas. He also can get you into cuban beaches & hotels which are off limit to tourist.
From The New Republic:
A week in Havana, and no jineteras in sight. Jineteras, Spanish for "jockeys," is the nickname given the stunning local women who cater to the mostly Italian, Spanish, French, Swiss, and Canadian men who have flocked to Cuba by the hundreds of thousands in recent years. But now the women are almost impossible to find. They've abandoned Quinta Avenida, the palm-tree-lined boulevard that crosses the fancy Miramar neighborhood. They are gone from the cobbled streets of colonial Habana Vieja, with its open-air cafes playing the traditional music that only tourists like to hear. They've vanished from the Malecón, the seawall where they used to stand, and from the Riviera, the hotel Fidel Castro confiscated from Meyer Lansky, which housed their favorite nightclub. Incredibly, prostitution seems to have disappeared from Cuba.
"A pair of high heels, a luxurious little shoe, a seductive perfume, a new dress cannot be the price of honor and the sustenance of a nation," Castro, sounding like a hurt father, proclaimed at the Karl Marx Theater in January 1999, stepping up his war against Cuban women who accept gifts or money from foreign men. In a speech attacking the rise of crime in general, Castro announced he was sending the jineteras home, back to the rural villages from which most of them had escaped to Havana. Any girl seen roaming the capital, dancing all night, dressed in extravagant clothes, Castro warned, would be sent to rehabilitation. "It hurts too much that a country that has done so much to dignify women, that a foreigner can come to trick her, fill her with vices ... to corrupt her," he said. Havana, he told the National Revolutionary Police, must rid itself of the "mercantilist" practices these women were embracing. He announced he was sending the Special Brigades out to the street and promised, "We will win this battle!"
Ramon writes on Redsnake.com: chica meets tourist is still going strong in smaller towns like Cienfuegos (where there are no tourist hotels in town as I write this) and Holguin. The Hotel Jagua is closed for renovation and the new Union Hotel will open his winter. The closest tourist hotel is the Rancho Luna 18km outside of town so Cfgos is not as touristy as Habana or Varadero. Unlike Varadero you can mix with the locals in the public beaches besides Rancho Luna and as of June itis possible to bring your cuban amiga to the hotel pool which was impossible to do last yr.
Everything in that article is true and I have experienced many of the same events in the story. I used to live in a casa across from the Habana Libre Hotel and every time I entered the hotel to exchange money or have a drink the girls would flock around and grab my arms pleading to escort them in. I felt like a rock star bec without me they couldn't enter to search for lonely tourists sitting in the lobby or bar. Once inside they would separate and go about their business until the guards asked them to leave.
There has been a general crackdown on prostitution in Cuba since 1995 yet in Cienfuegos there are more chicas available today than ever before thanks to the police sending the girls back from Havana & anything worth buying is in dollars. This is summer holidays for students and with 2 universities one in Cfgos and the other one in Santa Clara and with no summer jobs available there is only one way to earn instant cash and that is to find a tourist. What the article describe is true that many of the girls do this out of devotion & duty to put food on the table for her family and buy medicine for the sick. I haven't met anyone yet who did it to buy something for herself or buy drugs. These girls don't consider themselves prostitutes and will introduce you as her boyfriend if she meets a friend on the street or to her family & relatives.
Due to the crackdown the girls are more cautious of the police but they still like to party and have a good time and the only way to do that is to do it with a tourist. That is where my amigo Pablo comes in. He knows which casa to rent where the girls are welcome, he knows where to eat for peso, he knows where the action is. Eating in the casa bec will cost $6-7. You can eat cheaper in a peso restaurant for less than $2 for ½ bar-b-q chicken dinner. Problem is you need to read and speak Spanish or have Pablo bring you.
Looking back I wished someone had introduced me to someone like him on my first visit bec it would have saved me lots of money & time. I could write a book on all the mistakes I made in Cuba and all the money I wasted. The worst was all the beautiful girls I missed out on bec I couldn't speak Spanish and 99% of the chicas don't speak English. Now if you see a girl on the street you like he will go over and ask on your behalf. Sounds kind of tacky but that is the way it's done in Cuba and most girls will say yes. I have met nurses who work in ER and medical doctors this way. You have to invite them for a drink or dinner first to get to know them like a date and than take them back to your room. Pablo will screen them to make sure they know what you have in mind.
The situation in Cuba is fluid and changing all the time. What wouldn't change is the fact that they like to dance and have sex. They don't ask for money in return but if you give it to them discreetly they will thank you. If you treat them like a puta and ask them how much afterward don't be surprised if they get dress and walk out leaving the money on the floor. They maybe poor but they have their pride. The one thing they have in common unlike chicas in other countries is they will treat you like a boyfriend. Lots of necking and kissing, showering together, more kissing and lots of foreplay before sex. Not many tourists can keep up with a cubana who can go all night if you are up to it.
After the first couple of days you should be able to do it alone without Pablo if you stay with the same girl. If you want a new girl each day than it's better to have him around to translate and talk to the girls first to make sure what you have in mind is the same as what she has in mind. There is no commitment on anyone parts and feel free to leave him anytime things don't work out. He doesn't come out and ask for money when you leave for home but I usually tip him $ 10-20 depending on how much work he did plus the drinks and food I bought him.
Luke: I talked today to a porner who visited Cuba this summer.
XXX: "I had a great time. The whole island is just a disaster between Castro and the Communist regime and the collapse of the Soviet Union. It's unbelievable what terrible shape that whole island is. But the people are sweet and open and naive and innocent. They've been isolated from the world for 40 years.
"It is real cheap. I stayed at a bed and breakfast with my own room and bathroom and kitchen and patio for $16 a night."
Luke: "How about the women? Are they cheap too?"
XXX: "Yes. And they're extremely aggressive and everywhere. It is no problem getting laid. I paid about $20 a night and that's not just for an hour. That's for all night. They're always smiling at you and waving or they will just come up to you and talk to you.
"This one girl I liked, I asked, how much? She said $20. I asked, how many hours? She said, muchas horas. As many as you want. And it was true. She spent all night with me and all she wanted to do was f---. We f---ed seven or eight times.
"I'm not into this but you can get 13-year old girls there. I walked around this one area and this cab driver pulled up next to me. Cab drivers are always stopping. Anyone who is not latino or black is an obvious tourist. So they're always stopping and asking if you want a ride, if you want girls, if you want cigars...
"So this guy stopped and signalled me over. As I got closer, I saw a 15-year old mulatto in the seat next to him. He rolled down his window and asked if I wanted her. I said no thanks. He said, look. He unbuttons her blouse. She's not wearing a bra. He's playing with her tits, he's lifting her skirt, he's pulling her panties aside. And it is two o'clock in the afternoon.
"Apparently it just goes on non-stop. Everyone is into it. Everyone acknowledges it. Cubans are very open minded about sex. They were having sex before Castro, before Batista, so f--- the revolution and the communists.
"I talked to some people who said, we're developing a reputation as a sex resort. We don't mind if it is girls 18-years and over who willingly do this to make some extra money. But we've got Europeans, especially Italians, who come here looking for 12 and 13-year old girls. And you've got guys like these pimps who have no conscience whatsoever. And these Italian tourists who have no consciences who just force themselves on these girls. And the girls are so hard up for money that they do it."
Luke: "Did you use a condom?"
XXX: "Not for the blowjobs but for sex though I am not sure I really would've needed it. They're pretty clean. The health care is free and good. The girls all go to the doctor regularly.
"Every so often the government cracks down. You never know where it is going to be. Vara Dero is the best beach in Cuba. It is two hours east of Havanna. It's like any other Caribbean resort. Brand new hotels and restaurants... Cubans are not allowed in there unless they're working there.
"It used to be that there were tons of prostitutes working Vara Dero and things got out of control. And it scared away families. The government decided that it needed tourist money more and they wanted to encourage families rather than single men. They really cracked down and there's virtually no prostitution in Vara Dero now. Everywhere else is full of it.
"Just walking on the streets of Havanna, 13 and 14-year old girls would come up to me and pinch me on the cheek, wanting to go back to my hotel room."
Luke: "How do you get there?"
XXX: "Fly to Cancun and buy a roundtrip air ticket on Air Cubana for $190 roundtrip and that includes your tourist visa. As an American, I can't have them stamp my passport. They understand that.
"Once I got through customs, there are cab drivers...who offer tourists rides...accomodation..."
Luke: "Much crime?"
XXX: "People there said it was on the rise. But if there is crime against tourists, it's more like purse snatching and picking your pocket. Burglary is on the rise but there's little violent crime. There are police everywhere, 24 hours a day, on every street corner. If they see anything, they'll jump in, especially for a tourist. They're all over the Cubans.
"The biggest problem I had was with hustlers who are 99% black. They come up to you and ask you for a dollar. And if you say no thank you, they just keep harassing you and following you, which becomes a nuisance. If you're in Old Havanna, a real touristy area, and the police see that, the police stop them."
Luke: "How many Cubans speak English?"
XXX: "Almost none. Only some of the older people."
Here's the diary of a guy who pursues gangbang queen Annabel Chong:
Right before the guillotine drops Annabel says I should stay over so we can get to know each other better. "What about 'sorry it didn't work out'," I yell like she locked the keys in our minivan with the baby inside. "I thought you weren't into it," she says. "f---." Two seconds after hitting the bed, me and Annabel are playing tonsil hockey. It's great and everything, but my sugar's so low I can feel a coma coming on and my cock feels like an exposed nerve. When the greatest blow job in the history of touch arrives my cock is not responding. This goes on for almost an hour until, in a Rocky-like return from skid row, my little snout grows to a mighty Thor and we f--- like monsters until the bed shimmies halfway across the hotel room floor.
Vivid Wants To Go Public
Steve Hirsch's Vivid Video company, which earned about $60 million last year (double that of 1998), wants to go public. About $35 million of that income comes from their website which is directed by 28-year old whiz kid David Schlessinger.
XXX writes: I wonder if you check you will see that 90% of that comes from the website scam they are running??? Maybe they know the writings on the wall and they want to cash out.? Maybe they want to get their cash out of the company before the FTC comes knocking on their door?
Their website is run in exactly the same way as Creasent by a guy who used to work for Crescent.
From Billboard 8/19/00:
NEW YORK--Adult video company Vivid Entertainment Group says it plans to go public by the end of the year. But despite the company's status as one of the leaders in the lucrative business of producing sexually explicit content, it remains to be seen how warm a reception the company will receive from Wall Street.
While the sex industry is acknowledged as a cash cow, prominent investment banks and mainstream financial investors historically have been uncomfortable with associating themselves with such ventures.
Indeed, besides a handful of major firms affiliated with Playboy on either the underwriting or investment side (a list that also includes Bear, Stearns & Co., which brought the company public in 1971, and institutional investors Fidelity and Warburg Pincus), most adult entertainment companies have moved decidedly downstream to tap the capital markets.
As for Vivid, the company has not yet filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission to sell stock to the public, but its prospects look to be much the same. The company is still in the process of talking to underwriters, and there is no word yet on any investors or bankers affiliated with a potential deal. However, Asher says the company is more likely to work with a regional California firm than a larger Wall Street firm.
K.K. Campbell writes in the 8/24/00 Toronto Star:
Having played agent for the sale of domain names, I can tell you "sex.com" is probably worth at least $10 million U.S.
That doesn't mean you will sell it over night, but it's a fair value.
A domain name is worth the most if:
1) It is a single word (each additional word severely cuts the market price);
2) It is of five or fewer letters;
3) It is related to an industry/sector that is already doing well online.
Well, nothing sells better than sex - in any medium, including the Internet. And S-E-X is a short, sharp word. It continues to top the most-searched-for-word list at most search engines.
In June, Cohen filed a $50 million libel suit against online sex gossip columnist Luke F-rd for statements Ford made about Cohen. (Many people don't realize how "soap operatic" the sex entertainment industry is. Ford's site, at www.l-keford.com, chronicles much of the industry antics. It has considerable background material on both Cohen and Kremen.)
With a court decision pending this month, Cohen has filed a motion to dismiss the entire case because he says he has uncovered proof that Kremen has both fabricated and "withheld and presumably destroyed" evidence.
Luke F-rd Live
You can listen to my Tuesday show here. It's oriented towards adult webmasters.
Joe Elkind of CENCash, who may control more porn traffic than anybody, hosts a big lineup tonight 6PM PST on his show at www.webmasterconfessions.com - Fantasyman(Cybererotica), Redmagic(Babenet), RB(Maxcash), Schless(Vivid), Xpays(Evan), CJ(Purve) Mark Tiarra (traffic broker extrodinaire) Want to learn about the good,bad, ugly and FUGLY in traffic?
JMT: Do you have to ask? No.
Rumdar writes: Luke.. I listened to a bit of your show today. Unfortunately from what I heard the only intelligent conversation was coming from you and professor Gertzman. His take on Jews in pornography is fascinating. He mentioned a fellow who was jailed for writing about sex, then changed his name and moved to California (living to age 99)
At first I thought it might be Eden Ahbez who wrote the great jazz standard Nature Boy. Ahbez was a hippie with shoulder length hair in the mid forties who ate nuts and fruit and allegedly lived in a tree (jump in J.D. Considine) But now I am not so sure. Here is his bio:
One of the genuinely strange characters of pre-rock American popular music, Eden Ahbez's main claim to fame was as the composer of "Nature Boy." Some of the luster was taken off that triumph when a publishing company claimed that Ahbez had taken some of the lyrics from "Nature Boy" from one of their copyrights, the Yiddish song "Schweig Mein Hertz" (the parties reached an out-of-court settlement).
Ahbez boasted a resume as colorful and mysterious as his music. Born Alexander Aberle in Brooklyn in the early 20th century, he changed his name in the 1940s shortly after moving to (where else?) California. A hippie a good 20 years before his time, he cultivated a Christ-like appearance with his shoulder-length hair and beard. He claimed to live on three dollars a week, sleeping outdoors with his family, eating vegetables, fruits, and nuts.
Ahbez was photographed with Brian Wilson in the studio in 1966, lending further credence to the theory that the head Beach Boy was influenced by exotica during the Pet Sounds and Smile sessions. Ahbez died in 1995 after an auto accident.
Sunset Thomas May Return To Brothel
Sunset Thomas was the first major porn star to take advantage of the liberal Nevada laws concerning prostitution and appear at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in the fall of 1999. Discussion boards are buzzing with word that she may be returning to the ranch. Click here: NV Brothels Discussion Forum
Four brothel reviews from 1999. Click here: The Sunset Thomas Page!
Rob writes: Scroll down to the list of porn stars who have appeared at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch and dead center is the name of .... Laurie Holmes. It really is shameful her pulling that bull s--- lawsuit on you. Did you ever agree to her confidentiality clause? Click here: Spectator Magazine - Moonlite Bunnyranch - Nevada Brothel - Legal Sex - XXX Porn Stars - Dennis Hof - brothel
Luke: No I did not agree to the confidentiality clause.
JL writes: i mostly agree with you, luke.....all of those "stars" are strangers to me, and i am a keen student of the industry......a lot of these people have indeed NEVER been in a film...its like the strip clubs advertising "pornstars" no one has heard of, but hey, its in the ad, right?? so it must be so. the sole exception is Kathy Willets, and where she is concerned, i have had the absolute pleasure of being with this woman....we are all aware of the number of men she entertains, yet each one of us is made to feel as if she is an adoring wife on their honeymoon...she is sweet, tight, as gentle or as rough as you want her to be....so if anyone is contemplating a road trip, she is 100% worth the gas!! my girlfriend and i are flying down to see her for an evening in october, and that couple of hours will make our year for us!!
Lynne writes: Kathy Willets is the Floridian whore whose husband hid in the closet and taped local minor level politicians having sex with her. She made a couple of movies for Heatwave Entertainment, and is a well-pickled bottle blonde my age (i.e. too old to be working in a whorehouse). Trixxi Starr, if I have the same woman in mind, was a really pretty, sweet black girl with horrid stretch marks who did a few scenes for Zane while I was there a few years back, but this is one of those porn star names that must be used by a dozen women dancing around the country, so could be anyone.
The Passionate Eye
George writes: Mr. Ford, Although I haven't seen a lot of porn, I've become rather enamoured of your site. I've actually been visiting for several months now. I was happy to see that you would be making an appearance [Oct 28] on CBC's "The Passionate Eye." Let me assure you, this is an excellent program. Their docs are top-notch. I'll be looking forward to seeing you.
Jack Chick's Advice To Stressed Porners
The porners of today have so many things to worry about ... cyber squatters ... IRS audits ... domestic violence arrests ... low quality cocaine ... falsified HIV tests ... and Luke F-rd. Today's pornography industry can best be described as a "Mad Machine." While modern man has developed many ways to temporarily relieve the symptoms of stressful living only the Holy Bible has the true cure.
Sinners, read today's Jack Chick Christian comic and feel your burden of sin melt away. Click here: The Mad Machine
Rumdar: Luke, Finally a Jack Chick comic with real people. People I can relate to. For instance I recognize that woman swilling tranqs in the opening caption. It's my older sister.
Lynne's Brilliant Career
Lynne L-patin writes: My husband always said, "No one flunks out of porn." No guy, perhaps, but I did. Porn is made up of a collection of the world's worst bottom feeders, and they couldn't find room for me. I suppose I should have been flattered, but I am not, just broke, confused and scared as to how I will earn a living.
Having been booted out of the lowest of the low, I'm up for doing whatever possible to find a new profession in which I might be welcomed, be happy, and stay employed. The college has a career counseling center, which seemed a good place to start. Remembering Luke's experience last spring in which he was poked and prodded and finally labeled as having a dysfunctional, narcissistic personality, I made an appointment for a personality assessment test. Perhaps, as with my friend Luke, a deep seated mental illness could be the source of my problem. Maybe I could collect disability payments, and stop this silly self-flagellation over not being able to find my place in the world of work.
I was administered both a personality test and various inventories of work-related interests, abilities, experiences and skills. The results were illuminating. And now I know why I ended up in porn, not to mention why I adore Luke F-rd.
The computerized personality test, called "Please Understand Me," was patterned after the much longer Myers--Briggs Personality Inventory and uses the same system of coding. According to the Myers--Briggs system, I am an "INTJ." "I" is for Introversion, "N" is for Intuition, "T" is for Thinking and "J" is for Judging.
The career suggestions for INTJ's do not include "Social Worker," the career path my mother pushed me down and which I cannot pursue, having no tolerance for average people, nor "Pornographer." Some of the other things I do well are considered the province of more extroverted personality types, including jobs in the entertainment industry, such as "Director" or "Producer." Career suggestions do include Aerospace Engineer, Biochemist, Cardiologist (just for Chaim, though), Experimental Psychologist, Forensic Pathologist, Geneticist, Horticulturist (the closest to porn, in that I could lead one to but not make her...), Information Systems Programmer, Lawyer, Mathematical Statistician, Newspaper Editorial Writer, Columnist (see, Lukey!), Oceanographer, Paleontologist, Physician, Space Physicist, Systems Analyst and many more.
Unfortunately, when I was in high school back in the early 1970's, most of these careers were not considered appropriate for girls, not to mention that I had no family which would have seen me through the schooling necessary to pursue them. Hence what we came to learn from my second go-round at the computer testing...
We inventoried my skills, abilities and interests and, though my interests lie in reading, discussing and researching scientific facts and principles, and my abilities lie in expressing thoughts or feelings and developing and following orderly steps for conducting business, my ideal job is ....clerk/typist.
Why? Because I do my own taxes? Because I keep my household records neatly organized, as I would my research data on black holes or porpoise migration? Because I am a female, and have primarily been given the opportunities to do girlie jobs, hence gaining more experience with typing and filing than anything else?
I am on top of this an especially small female, one who is frequently treated as a child. Stepped on, pushed aside, ignored, humilated without fear of consequence.
No wonder I am frustrated in the world of work! No wonder I ended up in porn! And no wonder I ended up getting fired from all my clerk/typist jobs! Fortunately my innate self-confidence is at such a high level that I never suffered damage to my self-esteem, or I would have been destroyed by all the disrespect aimed at me all along the way, for so many years, first by my family and then by the rest of the world, which expects genius to come in a package that does not include mammaries and a vagina.
And how can I not worship Luke F-rd! For his own perverse, mentally disabling reasons, Luke never perceived me as a woman. Thus he had no problems treating me as an intellectual being, one with the potential to deliver endless reams of free copy, the editorial slant being of no consequence to him as long as he had filler for the column. In fact, Luke welcomed my desire to speak my mind in a controversial fashion, knowing that had the potential to generate additional free copy in furious rebuttal.....
Anyway, now that I know I was correct all along, and that I am indeed a superlative person and the rest of the world is deluded and average, I can come to terms with my perceived social inadequacies as merely the kneejerk reactions of the great unwashed. I would sign up for Shuckin' & Jivin' 101 if I thought the answer was to humiliate myself a little further, but I do not. I know I am a loving, attentive, warm person to those who need and deserve such treatment, and that I brook no patience with self-serving idiots, nor need I. If they cannot recognize genius, I can't educate them otherwise.
We have it from the testing center in black and white, folks: the career for which I am most eminently suited is to continue to write for l-keford.com. Aided and abetted by my dearest Luke, I shall continue to inflict myself upon you dear morons as long as he lets me, or at least until I find a paying gig.
<Curious>
Luke will you attend Mr. Marcus's 31st birthday celebration at Club
Lush on Thirsday?
<l-keford>
he asked me, said hed buy me a drink
<Curious>
He said that because he knows you don't drink.
Cheap bastard!
<Curious>
Hi Lee! Does Luke's lack
of professionalism rattle you at all?
<LeeNoga>
LOL, I love that ham!
<LeeNoga>
Ask him how he survives me?
<Curious>
He loves women he can never have so a lesbian is a natural for Luke.
Has he proposed yet?
<Lynne>
Just here to keep Lukey from getting stiff and wooden, like last time
<Lynne>
You know how he is around porn girls
<Curious>
Where are the porn girls?
<Lynne>
Hiding behind Luke, dear
<Curious>
There's enough room in his "apartment"?
<Lynne>
It's too early for porn girls anyway....they are just putting on their
eye makeup right now....hey, he has no furniture...sleeping bag for
twelve, I hear
<Curious>
Orgy bag?
<Lynne>
Instant Orgy, just add tap water and
<Curious>
Poppers, Luke?
<Lynne>
Curious, you are supposed to do at least half the work, you know.
Don't ask Luke for help.
No, they didn't. I would know.
<stalin>
mate... what kinda aussie doesn't get pissed and stoned...???
<Curious>
True confessions time for Luke.
<Lynne>
Mr. Marcus is perpetually late.
<Lynne>
He would be late to his own funeral.
Stop to do another scene along the way.
<Curious>
Too lazy to party. That's
lazy!
<Lynne>
Lexington Steele rules much longer than Mr. Marcus. Curious, now you are describing Luke F-rd.
<Curious>
Lee is there a double glass ceiling for being a gay woman?
<Lynne>
Lee, are all lesbians mean and nasty or do they ship the evil ones off
to the NorthWest?
<Curious>
Lee do you enjoy lesbian porn or is it too male centered?
<KB>
Are pinky rings good for the Jews?
<Lynne>
Curious, what are YOU doing with lesbian porn?
<Curious>
I've read about it. That's
all.
<Lynne>
Pinky rings are good for Jews who like to be in bar fights...
<Curious>
Why would porn discriminate against lesbians.
We love lesbians.
<Lynne>
Lesbians represent niche marketing....they have to make their own porn.
<Lynne>
What we love are girls pretending to be lesbians
<Lynne>
PRETTY girls pretending to be lesbians, I should add....what a fantasy...
<Lynne>
Real lesbians don't care much for bisexuals, Curious
<Curious>
Quit f---ing with my fantasy!
<Lynne>
Don't give me ideas, dear...I'm trying to respect your commitment to
celibacy
<Curious>
Luke, Ask Jane if she's seen your site?
<Curious>
Does she feel your pro-ethical monotheism slant helps traffic?
<KB>
seth is the poorest webmaster on the web he is morally bankrupt
<p0rn0man>
this whole biz is based on deception..
<p0rn0man>
teen sites with 35 year olds with pigtails..haha
<Curious>
Question for Jane. Why
is your industry afraid to speak out against the Australian Porn Mafia?
<stalin>
i have a question... why are all us guests and hosts so "media
literate" you all sound like bryant and katie... and luke sounds
like schoolboy from cooranbong!
<zoe>
ok I am blonde can't get it to work lol
<BradShaw>
Yishai, was nice talking to you last week.
<Yishai>
Hi Brad. I enjoyed it to. I hope we cleared up some things.
<Taz>
aeon, to understand the Jew kick, you'd need to read Luke's sight
<aeon999>
just because someone's named
after kohanim doesn't mean they're n'shema
<stalin>
those of us who worship satan are quite in favour of pornography and
masturbation
<SEGuru>
uhhh, I shot a documentary in Israel
<DoKK>
porno is good for the jews
<KB>
I shot a wad in Israel
<Taz>
so the men in porn are jewish and most of the women are wiccan, nice
mix
<FreeXXX>
I got a blowjob in Haifa Israel
<stalin>
keywords : obscure, jewish, professor, porn, xxx, sex... and they are
relevant
<aeon999>
we didn't kill yeshke - blame the italians
<JohnIP>
What happened to the smut raking pandering Luke tonight
<BradShaw>
luke, do you stick your thumb up your ass and call it facinating?
<Lynne>
Luke...you are doomed...doomed to mediocrity